The Comics Curmudgeon

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Wednesday quickies

Family Circus, 11/4/09

The presence of Dolly in the background takes this Family Circus panel beyond this feature’s usual run-of-the-mill “Jeffy is a moron” territory. When you consider Dolly’s well-known and well-earned contempt for her brother, it seems unlikely that she’d be helping him search for his shoes; thus, I must conclude that all shoes in the Keane Kompound have been confiscated, possibly as a result of the suspiciously absent Billy’s successful escape. Barfy’s sad facial expression indicates that he knows what the kids don’t: even if you get across the half-mile of burning sand, you’ll just end up at the electric fence.

Pluggers, 11/4/09

Pluggers are so hard up for cash that they can only afford “choklit”, which, being made mostly from petroleum byproducts, doesn’t have an expiration date.

Archie, 11/4/09

Mr. Weatherbee’s anger masks his shame at almost being caught surfing for Mr. Weatherbee porn while at work.

Mary Worth, 11/4/09

“That’s right, you don’t have any regrets about your love life, do you Jeff? Jeff? Put down that coffee mug and look at me when I talk to you!”

Apartment 3-G, 11/4/09

OH OH WAIT SHE NEVER HAD ONE OF THOSE

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 4, 2009 at 12:35 pm and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Archie, Family Circus, Mary Worth, Pluggers.

256 responses to “Wednesday quickies”

One-eyed Wolfdog
November 4th, 2009 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

Well, Tommie, if you slip an extra ‘i’ between the adjacent consonants, it rhymes with something you have to lose.
Nekrotzar
November 4th, 2009 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

Who would have thought that it would be A3G that would come up with the funniest punch line in the history of the comic strip form?
Artist formerly known as Ben
November 4th, 2009 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

Again? Cheez.

11/4

A3G: Tommie provides the funniest line of any feature today when she talks about preserving her dignity. Pretty soon Ruby’s pink blazer will be counterpointed by face blue from laughing.

H&L: By the time you get it in, you won’t want it anymore? Believe me, I think your mother understands.

MW: Mary has eyes in her head. She can see that Jeff is in love with Scott too.

S-M: So being able to hear when someone opens your bedroom window and climbs in is a superhero? Apparently being a superhero is a minimum requirement for surviving in New York.

Luann: Mrs deG is generalizing pretty hard off Dirk. Or she hired a PI.

MT: I can just see Mark’s vengeance now. “You took a friend of mine’s… You poached this little boy’s… Ah, fuck it, I just need to hit something.”

DT: “Oh no! Dick is going to narrate everything that the reader can already see! This is going to take forever!”

Archie: Dare I ask why Mr. Weatherbee is watching his own ecstatic face on the computer? Is this footage of the wild party where Mrs Grundy and Mr. Svenson took turns spanking him?

SFx: Of course the fish is smiling. For once, it will be the one to live to fight another day.

OBH: Skateboarding at 50? Fine. But at least turn the cap around.

9CL: Wha? Did Amos just take 5 seconds to get Edda pregnant?

Lockhorns: Leroy just got a look at Loretta’s newest cookbook, titled “To Serve Husband.”
Terry in Silver Spring
November 4th, 2009 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth: Cue bad 70’s jazz music and the love scene you never wanted to see begins.
skullcrusherjones
November 4th, 2009 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

Mary and Jeff seem to be riding in a convertible through the hospital halls a la Police Squad/The Naked Gun. So there is a better than even chance Adrian will be put into a coma when the car inevitably plows into Scott’s room. Everyone ready for a coma wedding?
skullcrusherjones
November 4th, 2009 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

A3G: “Me? No, I’m going for that Dancing in the Streets era David Bowie look. You want that loopy 50 year old dressed like Pollyanna.”
One-eyed Wolfdog
November 4th, 2009 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

I suspect what we’re seeing in Archie is FaceBook, as envisioned by the large fraction of comic strip writers who have been making jokes about it for the past (interminable) few years: i.e., it consists of faces. Pages and pages of faces. Your personal facebook page consists of your face. Kids! Ha ha. What do they see in this stuff? Back in my day we had slide rules and we made our own fun.
One-eyed Wolfdog
November 4th, 2009 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

So, for the nasty, filthy, plugger-infested areas in your neighborhood, it’s Chocolate dCON to the rescue.
Dr. Krude&Rude
November 4th, 2009 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

Here I am in my office reading the funnys. (First thing I do before surgery). I’m ranting and raving about how stupid Family Circus is (my nurse and secretary have learned to tune me out) when into my office walks Bil Keane (without an appointment, I might add).
Bil hears my ranting and asks, “What’s got you so upset?”
I reply, “It’s this damned Family Circus! Who writes this crap, if indeed it can be called ‘writing?’”
Bil says, “According to a fellow cartoonist, it IS writing, Doctor!”
He then turns heel and puffs out of my office. I’m sitting there wondering what’s going on when the phrase “fellow cartoonist” comes to mind. I look down at the cartoon and notice Bil’s name, along with some goon named “Jeff.” Bil Keane writes Family Circus?
Who knew?
It’s okay. He never paid his bill anyway.
One-eyed Wolfdog
November 4th, 2009 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

“She loves with an open heart, which is precisely why she mumbled some wishy-washy noncommittal bullshit when he gave her the ring. And she certainly hasn’t expressed any regrets recently. No, sir.”
mollificent
November 4th, 2009 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

A3G: ~~Awww, how cute. Tommie thinks she has dignity.~~ I have really got to start reading the comics at night so everyone else doesn’t think of my snark first. *sigh*.

BB: Yay! It’s Buxley Wed…hey, what gives??

My Cage: Now I’m depressed, because I got both those references and they made me laugh.

Lio: Aughh!! I literally just got off the phone with my dentist before I read this, making an appointment to have a crown done. I’ve been putting it off for approximately two years. Sigh…savings account down the drain…

Note to buckys???wife: I’m still voting for D.H.O.S., but while we’re on the Pythons…Erica the Half-A-Bee? (Sorry, that’s just my favorite sketch). And of course, you know my thoughts are with you.
One-eyed Wolfdog
November 4th, 2009 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

“Shoes? You mean, like, tasty chewy leather things? *Urp* Yeah, I’ve got no idea.”
ArtisticPlatypus
November 4th, 2009 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

‘Goodness! Are we out of these already? There is only one which I am holding left, and we must sacrifice it to Krak’than the Prosperous according to our pagan traditions! Damn! I was really looking forward to eating some choklit!’
Anonymous
November 4th, 2009 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

#3 AFKAB on Dick Tracy: Damn, it was too much to hope that clown would be kibble for big kitties by now. Damn.
UncleJeff
November 4th, 2009 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

FC: Just be happy (for the newspaper editors) that Jeffy was drawn facing Barfy, rather than the other way around
Although, I’m pretty sure either C. Sandy Cyst or Dean Booth will take care of that later today.
Will
November 4th, 2009 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

BB: This is Wednesday, so where’s Miss Buxley? Everything I thought I knew is wrong!
odinthor
November 4th, 2009 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

NYerCC.
Larry’s interest in Desenex™ was more than just a hobby.
Red Greenback
November 4th, 2009 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

“What kind of dog are you, Barfy? Any dog worth it’s salt would be sniffin’ our butts right about now!”
Batman Beatles
November 4th, 2009 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

MW – Yeah Adrian is a strong woman alright. So strong that she threw herself in the arms of another man shortly after her fiance got arrested for fraud.
UncleJeff
November 4th, 2009 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

Faint praise time:
Non-Sequitor: Actually funny today. Good job.
Annie: Nicely drawn picture of Daddy Warbucks overlooking the desert.
Dick Tracy: Fee Fi is walking the steel today.
Love Is: Flowers and sex toys! Looks like Little Naked Guy is in for a surprise tonight!
Joey Chicago
November 4th, 2009 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

Owen Wilson is Marmaduke.
Baka Gaijin
November 4th, 2009 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

#14 was me. My computer must be infested with tiny evilscaryclowns eating my cookies.
Red Greenback
November 4th, 2009 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

NYerCC:
“And in these corners.”
Bootsy
November 4th, 2009 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

Niall, yesterthread: you take that back! My dad was the finest man I ever knew (Mr. Bootsy for the tie). I love my real name, though as a teen I went through the surely-almost-inevitable “I hate it” phase.

Thelonious Monk had a daughter named Boo Boo, so there is some precedent.
Uncle Lumpy
November 4th, 2009 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

#22 BG — as if there had been any doubt!

Hey, William H. Macy is inspired casting for Phil Hitler! I don’t know from Judy Greer, but she looks a little glam for Eva.
cj
November 4th, 2009 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

Plug:
Chickens don’t usually have teeth, which would make it very difficult to crunch and chew, well, anything, let alone a candy bar. Though I encourage anyone to see how long it takes for one to peck at it and get sick.
Saluki
November 4th, 2009 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

So Jamaal is an ex basketball player. Who knew? Someone should tell Bentley that basketball players are usually tall because they have long legs and torsos, not long heads.
Perky Bird
November 4th, 2009 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

I’d like to see a series of Family Circus strips with other family members envying Barfy’s lack of cares:
PJ: “You’re lucky! You don’t have to sit in your own crap all day long!”
Bil: “You’re lucky! You don’t have a prostate!”
Thel: “You’re lucky! Bil doesn’t want to have sex with y—oh, wait…”
Patrick
November 4th, 2009 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

Adrian knows the odds, but is committed to Scott no matter what happens? So, like, if Scott dies, she’ll still marry his decaying corpse?

I can’t WAIT for next week!
Jacob
November 4th, 2009 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail: Whew, for a moment there, I thought that these were evil poachers, out to hunt alligators for fun and ridiculous profit. But it turns out that they’re simply trying to get their houses paid off- how responsible!

Rex Morgan: “Oh, he’s senile? That’s our man- you’ve got a deal.”
Little Guy
November 4th, 2009 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

Luann: Congrats, Mrs DeGroot. You’re only 3 years behind the curve with the Brad/Toni relationship.
Hell Toupée
November 4th, 2009 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

MW: Loves with an open heart and no regrets? Didn’t we get something like two years of regrets in the whole Queenie episode or was I dreaming?
Hell Toupée
November 4th, 2009 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

FC: and when they find those damn shoes I just know they will match their damn shirts.
AndyL
November 4th, 2009 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

“Why do I want this makeover? Well, mostly because I need this story line to keep the readers interested in my boring, boring character.”
Mibbitmaker
November 4th, 2009 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

A3G: Okay, now this time, let’s say it all together:
“WHAT DIGNITY??”

Archie, re:Weatherbee’s computer sight gag: Lucy Van Pelt reading the TV Guide in the Halloween special did this gag much better… and less creepy.

Cranky: Oh, shut up!!

Dilbert: Sure that wasn’t RedBull?

ReFOOB: Well, a fish is no manuscript in a fire.

FW: As long as there’s dread, then everything is fine.

GA: She’s dumb enough to be a female character in Mary Worth who isn’t Mary!

JP: Jeez, talk about blame-shifting!

Luann(’s mom): So, she wants to deny her son happiness with a capable and attractive woman who’s into him, all because she thinks Toni will do that to him herself? Okaaaaaaay…..

MT: (Said like the deep-voiced jerky boy from King of the Hill) Mortgages are evil.

MW: “Oh, I have regrets, Mary. Believe me, I regret alot! But let’s get back to Adrian…”

MC: He’s turned her into Dennis Miller? …the nerd version?

ZtP: “…By the way, Mr. President, can you do a Mr. Bill immitation?” (Those reading this who’ve not seen today’s Zippy the Pinhead yet: it makes even LESS sense than this!)

DT: Dick Locher once heard the term “redundancy scheme” from the original, British Office, totally misunderstood what it meant, and said, “Hey, that’ll be a great way to write Dick Tracy from now on!”
Hell Toupée
November 4th, 2009 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

A3G: Ruby is just 2 ribbons shy of a prize heifer.
Uncle Ritzy Fritz
November 4th, 2009 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

Many mighty ‘mudges must malign Mary’s monotonous meandering monologue of meddle.

Also, another note to Bucky’s???wife – best of luck with the transition. How bout “Igotbetter” as a new moniker? Both a Python reference and an aspiration.
BigTed
November 4th, 2009 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

When Tommie finally gives in this makeover show, I’m curious as to what her “Sandy Duncan circa ‘The Hogan Family’ ” look is going to be turned into. I’m hoping they’ve hired one of those evil stylists from “America’s Next Top Model,” and she’ll end up with a platinum-blonde buzzcut that makes her eyes pop — literally.
Hell Toupée
November 4th, 2009 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

A3G: I won’t be impressed when they turn Tommie from redheaded Eurythmics Annie Lennox to white buzz cut solo career Annie Lennox. I am saddened she’s given up on her unique “Han Sola” look for ladies.
BigTed
November 4th, 2009 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

If Pluggers cared about sell-by dates, they wouldn’t buy marked-down Easter candy from Rite-Aid in June.
Écureuil Écumant
November 4th, 2009 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

A3G: Ruby must’ve handed out bran muffins for Halloween. But still, that was nasty of those punks to toilet paper her head.
Gary
November 4th, 2009 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

Is it just me or does the Family Circle “punchline” read like a future panel from Pluggers in which the overriding intent it to poke fun at the onset of dementia in some oversized hen wearing a corset over her bib overalls?
sally
November 4th, 2009 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

#36 — those are RIBBONS? I thought they were X-Large Band-aids!
Patrick
November 4th, 2009 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

Considering how up-to-date Apartment 3G is, I wouldn’t be surprised if Tommie’s makeover consisted of opera gloves and a Jackie Kennedy pillbox hat.
KenM
November 4th, 2009 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

“Mr. Weatherby porn”? What have you wrought? Did you forget Rule 34?
Joe Blevins
November 4th, 2009 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

A3G: Sorry, Tommie and Ruby. There’s clearly someone who needs that makeover more than you two ever possibly could. I refer, of course, to the unfortunate woman in panel 2 who has mistakenly dyed her face to match her outfit.
Artist formerly known as Ben
November 4th, 2009 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

y56 buckyswife,
I’m late to the party here because I try to get my own snark in before reading anyone else’s. (It’s not plagiarism if you don’t know it.) So first of all, sorry to hear about the marital Whoa!s. You’ll land on your feet, but it’s not easy.

As to a new messageboard handle, keep in mind that this is coming from someone who still keeps the dated Prince reference after a number of years. Still, the phrase from your post “sitting here sipping bourbon” caught my ear/eye. It sounds kinda badass.

Then again, Dingo’s suggestion of “Oregon Orgasm” has a certain ring to it too. I’m pretty sure that’s an alcoholic beverage too.
PeteMoss
November 4th, 2009 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

Pluggers would be perfect if the speech balloon just read, “BaKAAAWK!” and the punch line was: Pluggers get very excited whenever they find food.
PeteMoss
November 4th, 2009 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

skullcrusherjones @ 5

Ha! Hilarious observation! I remember those Police Squad episodes and the opening segments – the squad car, or at least the light on top, would cruise through hallways and ball parks and everwhere. I can definitly see Leslie Nielsen making a guest a appearance on Mary Worth, too1
Josh
November 4th, 2009 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

Argh, and I just got done reading yesterday’s comments, and see commodorejohn beat me to the punch re: Mr. Weatherbee porn. I never thought anyone was as weird and twisted as me before I started this blog! I love you guys! *sniff*

Josh
PeteMoss
November 4th, 2009 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

I know I’m late to this issue but…Did anyone else notice yesterday that the anthropomorphic birds in Shoe owned a bird bath for the not-so-anthropomorphic birds? I gather the comic strip takes place in a world where evolution took a different turn than it did on Earth. I think it would have been much more interesting if Charlton Heston (or Marky Mark) had landed there.
Uncle Ritzy Fritz
November 4th, 2009 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

A3G: Does seeing Ruby all be-ribboned like that make anyone else expect Mel Cooley and Buddy Sorrell to show up in the next panel?
Alan's Addiction
November 4th, 2009 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

I’m intrigued by Dolly’s frantic searching for Jeffy’s shoes in the background. All of my friends and myself have several siblings, so I know that the first rule of family relationships is that, no matter how close you may be to your brothers or sisters, you never help them look for their shoes. It’s counterproductive and shows weakness that they’ll exploit later. So I can only assume that either Dolly is actively hiding Jeffy’s (of Billy’s) shoes, or she’s looking for her own. I hope it’s the former, as it shows that “Family Circus” has discarded those moronic troll-things (like “Ida Know”) in place of active, realistic malevolence. If the latter, then I can only assume the Keane parents insist on reenacting Easter festivities every morning of the year, except using shoes instead of eggs.
Here’s what also never reaches the expiration dates in Plugger’s homes: anything containing alcohol, heroin, caffeine, and vegetables. The reason why the vegetables never reach the expiration date? They’re never actually found in real Plugger’s homes.
I like Archie’s brilliant ruse for coming into Mr. Weatherbee’s house. The real reason Archie is there is that he got lost between the bathroom and his classroom, as his primitive, under-developed brain is incapable of navigating using previous landmarks and reference points. To compensate for the embarrassment this causes, Archie’s become a phenomenal liar about why he’s always wandering into random rooms.
Look at today’s “Mary Worth” carefully, people, we’re seeing history in the making. Dr. Jeff is actually swallowing his suicide pill as we watch; he having realized that, like Adrian and Detective Scott, Mary Worth will constantly hover and harass him no matter his physical or mental condition. He’s only praying that death’s sweet embrace will provide him some relief from that prying, manipulative harpy.
Tommie’s confusing “dignity” with “Margo,” since Margo’s the only one who pays any attention to her. She’s really worried that any makeover might make her more physically attractive than Margo, and last time that happened… Well, let’s just say that Tommie was a much more interesting and witty person before Margo decided to destroy Tommie’s soul after the last time.
kallista
November 4th, 2009 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

My professor friend, bourboun is a charming and welcome companion for evening visits, but don’t let him stay overnight. He won’t leave the next morning after bacon pancakes but will just linger all day when you’re ready to move on.

After my break-ups, I flew helicopters and rode high-spirited horses. No man required nor invited. At least, not at first, but we tend to find each other when we do the things that make us feel the most alive. I hope you pursue your passions with freedom under the anger, sadness, relief, etc.

Moly: to paraphrase Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park: I’m always looking for a future ex-Mr. Kallista :-)
(sic transit) buckyswife
November 4th, 2009 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

An embarrassment of screen name riches! I could have as many different screen names as I have pairs of shoes!

y185 Bootsy: Wednesdays are Big Salad Wednesdays, but with your suggestion, you nearly made it Big Salad Spit-Taked All Over My Desk Wednesday.

y187 One-Eyed Wolfdog: My bucky isn’t based on the adulterous Mark Trail deer; the name is from his unfortunate personality resemblance to Bucky Katt.

18 Red Greenback: For some reason, I read you as channeling Barfy’s thoughts, and so I saw it as, “What kind of dog are you, Jeffy? Any dog worth its salt would be sniffin’ our butts right about now!” And unfortunately, that reading made sense.
AndyL
November 4th, 2009 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

Tommie is my favorite A3G girl. It’s going to be so sad when she gets back to 3G, all aglow and happy about her looks for the first time since grade school, and then Margo cuts her down to size with a single crushing sentence.
Fashion Police
November 4th, 2009 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

Once again, we beg to disagree. Miss Thompson has plenty of dignity. More dignity in fact, than is good for her. What she doesn’t have is fun. Spontaneity. Imagination. Creativity. If Miss Thompson were any more dignified she would be eighty years old.
Larry Fine
November 4th, 2009 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

DT — Dick is really excelling at pointing out the obvious today. I guess that’s why they made him a detective.
Darkefang
November 4th, 2009 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

A3G: How cute. Tommie thinks she has dignity.

JP: Maybe there’s something to Sam’s sense of self-importance. Reality in the Judge Parker universe is drab and colorless until Sam pays attention to it.

MT: Really? Feeding a puppy to alligators? I guess using a busload of nuns and kittens as gator bait would have been too subtle for a master storyteller like Jack Elrod.

MW: She loves with an open heart… and without regret. Unless you count the time she found out her fiance was a con artist trying to rip her off. You couldn’t begin to measure the regret then. Oh, and the time she regretted not telling Scott that she’d marry him before he got a bellyful of lead. Other than that, though: No regret whatsoever!

Ziggy: Ziggy makes a banking crisis joke about a year late, making today’s strip the most up-to-date Ziggy ever.
BananaSam
November 4th, 2009 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

Is it possible? Is A3G building up to a continuity shaping Tommie makeover? Is this going to launch Tommie into the brave new world or relevancy? could this be the beginning of the Crisis of Infinite Tommies?
Darkefang
November 4th, 2009 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

#11 Mollificent –

Wow, not only was my snarked already snarked, even my exact wording was already used by the time I posted.
Steve S
November 4th, 2009 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

To me, Barfy’s facial expression says “The good news is that when you find your shoe, I left a little surprise in it for you.”
Esther Blodgett
November 4th, 2009 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

(sic transit) buckyswife: If you’re not sick to death of commiseration and good wishes, please accept mine. Whatever you choose as your new nom de snark,, just be sure to let us know (probably more than once) it’s you!

PBS: I’m actually enjoying the Twitter theme, but then I’m way behind the zeitgeist. I’m still Facebooking.

FW: So the guy who once thought up character names like Funky Winkerbean, Les Moore, and Bull Bushka is now lazy enough to name two teenage male characters Cory and Cody. Hmm, I wonder why that fact inspires only apathy?

OBH: Showing that a corny old joke can still be funny.

MT: You mean all this time I could have been paying my mortgage in gator hides? And a little dog could have been helping me do that? I’ve been wasting my life when I could have been smoking mushrooms with Jack Elrod!
DaveyK
November 4th, 2009 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth is making me feel like a bad person. I mean, here I am married to a woman I love with no significant downside which I must endure stoically.

But, as Mary Worth has been pointing out for the last year or so, it just isn’t True Love and True Commitment if your relationship is not a Test of Faith, coming straight from the pages of Job.

And if it is not True Love, we all know what Mary Worth prescribes: intervention, anger, and fiery death from a great height.
Dingo
November 4th, 2009 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

Dignity is akin to virginity: once you’ve lost it, you can’t get it back. Remember this, Tommie, and well. At least you’ve still got the one.
walty
November 4th, 2009 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

Nice cover up, Tommie. She knows she’s not allowed to do silly things like enter a contest, leave the apartment, or sneeze twice in a row with Margo’s written permission.
Mibbitmaker
November 4th, 2009 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

#55
(sic transit) buckyswife: “…his unfortunate personality resemblance to Bucky Katt.”

See? That should’ve been a warning sign right there! Like I said y-thread, Rob Wilco could’ve warned you…… if he wasn’t a cartoon character, of course.
Comrade Dread
November 4th, 2009 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

I must conclude that all shoes in the Keane Kompound have been confiscated, possibly as a result of the suspiciously absent Billy~~’s successful escape.~~ hung himself with the laces.
Violet
November 4th, 2009 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

Mary: “She is her father’s daughter after all. In the sense that she’s committed herself romantically to what essentially amounts to a corpse.”
Dingo
November 4th, 2009 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

Has anyone else thought about Butch McButcherson chaining Sassy to a log? Eh? Eh?

First, Sassy gets chained to a log. Then, Rusty gets chained to a log. Then, Mark gets chained to a log. Finally, Mark is ravaged by the three men with chained to a log sodomy, outlawed in 31 states but totally legal in Lost Forest via the judicial system. Afterward, they lounge about in their cabin drinking 40 oz. beers and watching Carrie Prejean’s sex tape.
(sic transit) buckyswife
November 4th, 2009 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

65 Dingo: Which one? (I can’t wrap my mind around the possibility that Tommie’s actually gotten laid and still dresses like a terrified, repressed, virginal schoolmarm with her knees permanently locked together. Although I guess that’s not exactly “dignified,” either.)
Dingo
November 4th, 2009 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

Demented Harlot of Snark: I was thinking that Tommie still clutched to her virginity like a child to a blanket. She probably lost her dignity somewhere on a deserted road late one night after the prom.

How many young men have had their tuxedos ruined by girls who don’t know how to properly give a blow job? I imagine the night ending for Tommie’s date with him ejaculating into those clammy lips and then having an entire meal of family-style chicken and breadsticks vomited all over him. In his father’s car.
Poteet
November 4th, 2009 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

# 57 Fashion Police — I emphatically agree with your basic premise. However, my mother is in her eighties and doing well, and she has more fun in a week than Tommie has in a year. Based on the funerals I’ve attended, I would say that if Tommie were any more dignified, she’d be dead. And that is probably unfair to some corpses.
Uncle Lumpy
November 4th, 2009 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

Ooh, convergence:

#69 Violet:

She is her father’s daughter after all. In the sense that she’s committed herself romantically to what essentially amounts to a corpse.

#73 Poteet:

. . . if Tommie were any more dignified, she’d be dead. And that is probably unfair to some corpses.

But not, of course, unfair to our beloved Mary.
Muffaroo
November 4th, 2009 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

Red Greenback @18 – Dogs go more by scent. Barfy doesn’t know he’s not sniffing Jeffy’s butt.
KarMann
November 4th, 2009 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

@Muffaroo #75: Barfy: “I can’t believe it’s not Jeffy’s butter!”
MrGuy
November 4th, 2009 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

Pluggers: Pluggers lack any willpower whatsoever when it comes to fatty foods, ha ha ha? Fair enough, as approximately two of the man-beasts aren’t morbidly obese.

Archie: I believe you mean uploading it, so as to bolster the school’s budget.
Caroline
November 4th, 2009 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

There are two things that bug me about today’s “Pluggers,” aside from the general irksome fact that this strip exists in the first place.

#1. The basic gist of it is, Pluggers like chocolate. OH WOW, THAT’S TOTALLY SPOT-ON! PLUGGERS *DO* LIKE CHOCOLATE! AS DOES EVERY OTHER HUMAN BEING IN THE FREAKIN’ WORLD! Which brings me to…

#2. Since the entire Plugger universe (Pluggoverse?) is populated by disgustingly perverted Island of Doctor Moreau anthropomorphized animal-men, and since chocolate is poisonous to most non-human animals, I assume it is also poisonous to… bizarre overweight cross-dressing rooster things. So… wait, why do I care about this again? THE POINT IS, I’M ENRAGED!
mr 12 oz can
November 4th, 2009 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

since when does cue have a pocketful of quarters to use the last deserted phone booth in the world .as for mark trail how much could the mortgage be on a house that is in a swamp i bet they cant even get cable . plus bob is the only one who can afford a razor .
Mollie
November 4th, 2009 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

“Without regret”? Excuse me, but isn’t this the same Adrian who can’t stop talking about/obsessing over her last boyfriend, the con artist, even as she sits vigil at the potential deathbed of her current boyfriend? And then, of course, there’s the whole “Can I think about this proposal a little longer, as you go off to risk your life? I’ll tell you afterward” scheme, which didn’t work out so great. Regret is Adrian’s primary emotion. And with good reason.
tb4000
November 4th, 2009 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

Archibald: “Harumph! When the kids told me I would be able to Google myself, I thought, “I’ve been doing that alone in my room with a picture of Miss Grundy for decades.”
walty
November 4th, 2009 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

Sorry, I meant “without.”

Nice cover up, Tommie. She knows she’s not allowed to do silly things like enter a contest, leave the apartment, or sneeze twice in a row without Margo’s written permission.
un_malpaso
November 4th, 2009 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

Whoo! Sorry I’ve been away so long, Pseudonymous Comic Snarkers Who Know Nothing Of Me. Long story short, got canned. Not for browsing Josh’s page on work hours, of course… just simple lack of work to do in those hours.

Anyway, I was gonna chime in with something really good, but all that comes to mind right now is this thought on Apt 3G:

What, exactly, would a “makeover” look like in the Apt. 3G universe? I mean, obviously we have “Male Face” and “Female Face”, but teasing out those little differences… hmmmm…

I guess you’d have a Hair Color option (Magenta Scatter, Yellow or Black, plus, for the occasional graying matron or snotty punk, Cyan). You could also choose “White,” of course, with optional “Greek/Celtic Chinbeard” trim. Then there’s “Head Size” (Tommie could stand to gain a few picas) and “Discreet Cheekbone Line” (usually reserved for the aged and demented). Not much more to work with.

How about going whole hog, Tommie, and springing for the “Girl Hair with Bows” like your friend? Plus, if you have a few dollars left, the stylist will probably hook you up with a genuine “Eye Whitening.”

After all, you’re a single girl in the big city! You’ve got to “look to your look” as much as possible within the stylistic guides of the 1942 Garment Industries Drafting Manual world you live in!
Uncle Lumpy
November 4th, 2009 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

Archie must’ve used an old picture to illustrate Waldo’s online exploits — in his latest photoshoot and video on http://www.leatherbee.com he is definitely not smiling.
BBo\'Fun
November 4th, 2009 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

In today’s Mary Worth, the role of “Jeff” is double-cast. In panel one, he will be palyed by John Kerry; in panel 2, by Walter Matthau.
Dr. Weird
November 4th, 2009 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

56 AndyL -

I see that scenario going something like this:

Margo “You look different today Tommie. Did you shave your mustache?”
Niall
November 4th, 2009 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

24. Bootsy: I hereby apologise, and would get on my knees if this was visual. I said stupid hurtful things – it does not matter that I did not mean it as such. I have no excuses.
(sic transit) buckyswife
November 4th, 2009 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

83 un_malpaso: Welcome back–and sorry to hear about the canning.

Given the limited options you describe, perhaps as the end result of their Gal Pal Makeover, Tommie will look like Ruby and Ruby will look like Tommie. I’d propose wacky hijinks, but this is, you know, Apt. 3G. There would just be some brief, mild confusion, Margo would sputter a bit, and then we’d just move on.
BRWombat
November 4th, 2009 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

Somewhere else in the Plugger world: “It’s people! ‘Milk Choklit’ is made out of people!”
Dr. Krude&Rude
November 4th, 2009 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

It’s a beautiful fall day so I decided to eat my lunch out in the park. I settled down on an empty bench, got out my pastrami on rye with a slice of swiss and a Dr. Pepper. I was watching the local entertainment of a couple of guys rolling a drunk hobo and anticipating my dessert of a Moonpie when I perceived someone had sat down next to me.
“Oh, rats” I thought. I was hoping for a bit of piece and quiet but I was curious as to who was next to me. I slowly moved my peepers to the right and damned it wasn’t Mary Worth sitting next to me.
Now I had a real dilemma on my hands. I try to be nice to people but I really didn’t want a meddle frenzy to be performed on yours truly. So I was going about minding my own beeswax when a soft voice said to me, “Young man. Are you a doctor?”
“Crap on a rat.” I thought. “How’d she know I was a doctor?”
Right then I realized that I had left my stethoscope hanging around my loser neck.
Putting up my best front, turning to her and giving my winning smile I said, “Why yes, lady. I just so happen to be a doctor.” Dang if I was gonna let her know I knew who she was.
She replied, “Oh, good. I was wondering if you could check my left leg. I believe I have bursitis. I date a doctor but I’ve never seen him practice. I’m not even sure he is a doctor so I certainly won’t let him touch me.”
I was thinking about how could she know I was really a doctor but I said, “Sure, lady. Call my office and make an appointment.”
“Oh, appointments are such a hassle” she said. “I’m sure you could look at it right here.”
What happen next made my comfort level plunge to almost nonexistance. She proceeded to hike up her dress and plop her left leg in my lap.
“Whoa, Lady!” I exclaimed. “Not here in the park! I mean…”
I was getting flustered. I quickly removed the ancient leg and rose to my unsteady feet. I grabbed my card and tossed it in her lap.
“Look lady. Here’s my card. Call and make an appointment. It’s better that way.”
She looked disappointed and said something about having a lot of salmon squares to share but I had bolted and was gone.
Funny thing. She never did call for that appointment. Just as well really.
NightRaven
November 4th, 2009 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

I’m surprised this isn’t mentioned more often over here, but I hope you guys have discovered “Weapon Brown”, over at Deep Fried.
It follows the adventures of good old Charlie Brown (grown up now) as he journeys across an apocalyptic world populated by twisted versions of comic characters.
The bad guys seem to be lead by an evil corporation, of whom the board of directors include The Pointy Haired boss from Dilbert and Mary Worth! (see: http://www.whatisdeepfried.com/2008/09/24/weapon-brown-31/ )
Other appearances have been: The entire cast of Beetle Bailey, Crock, Wizard of ID, Snuffy Smith, Boondocks, and many others.
The latest instalment is particularly sweet, as it finally show Marmaduke the way we’ve always seen him, as the demonic Hellhound he is:
http://www.whatisdeepfried.com/

-NightRaven
Red Greenback
November 4th, 2009 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

Panel two: Doc Jeff demonstrates his mad ventriloquist skillz.
kallista
November 4th, 2009 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

Apropos of dignity: when people ask me what I’m giving up for Lent, I always say, “My self-respect.”
bats :[
November 4th, 2009 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

buckys???wife: sorry for being late to the party, and far more sorrow about the roadbumps in your life right now. (I did my civic duty yesterday and was a poll ~~dancer~~) for our city elections. Just remember, while the polls are open 6 AM to 7 PM, the workers have to be there at 5 AM for set up (which means bats has to get up at 4 AM (and actually booted out of bed at 4:15 by mr. bats [: ), and are required to stay at the polling place until all the accoutrements are accounted for and the ballots are on their way (fortunately, we were out a little before 8). It’s hell being civically responsible.)

Anyhoo, my thoughts on a nom de change:

Demented Harlot: when Dingo speaks…

Murlow Madame: iz good wit’ roadkill…
(sic transit) buckyswife
November 4th, 2009 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

94 bats :[ —Mmmm…. murlow…..

I imagine we’d have much better voter turnout if there were poll dancers. Perhaps you ought to propose that to your local League of Women Voters!
Poteet
November 4th, 2009 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

# 91 NightRaven — Well, that woke me right up. Thanks!
Poteet
November 4th, 2009 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

# 94 bats:[ — Yay for you!! I plan to return to pollwatching one of these years, and I sure do appreciate all of you who do it now.
MolyBendum
November 4th, 2009 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

97 Poteet – Polewatching. Funny.

kallista – To paraphrase myself: I’m always looking for a girl who’s looking to give up her self respect. :-)
zerowolf
November 4th, 2009 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

Retarded Jeffy might be, but unlike Dolly he has enough smarts to look where a shoe could actually fit
zerowolf
November 4th, 2009 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

Barney Google: Today we are provided with more proof that Snuffy and Weezey are brother and sister. Note that Weezey and her mother “in law” have the exact same bust line Ok, so I’m making note of Hillbilly saggy boobies, does that make me a bad person?
The Red Baroness (formerly Aviatrix)
November 4th, 2009 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

???, you have inspired me to seek a new CC handle, one that is actually comics related.

It’s a nod to Snoopy, to my profession, and suits me in a couple of other ways, too.
Larry Fine
November 4th, 2009 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

Pluggers — Actually, chocolate is toxic to birds, which gives “expiration date” a whole new meaning here.
Nekrotzar
November 4th, 2009 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

I can’t believe I missed all the great Python references yesterday. I suspect that if I were in a marital-breakup-situation a bunch of Python quotes would be of great convalescent value. So here’s my belated Python-related screen name entry:
ICanEatEnormousQuantitiesOfIceCream

(the remaining bit of that particular quote, ‘Mrs S-C-U-M’ would be a better screen name for the former Mr. Bucky)
DamienBixlan
November 4th, 2009 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

FC: I want to have a dog that perpetually have this facial expression. I could call him “ennui” .
Girl Reporter
November 4th, 2009 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

Okay, so now I’ve got a visual of a bunch of sensible-shoe ladies bumping ‘n’ grinding whilst peeling off their tweed blazers and endorsing issues but not candidates. Said visual made more horrifying because Mother Girl Reporter was big into the LWV. So I’m seeing very specific sensible shoes and tweed blazers. Ow ow ow ow!
Girl Reporter
November 4th, 2009 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

But, I like “Aviatrix”! It’s so jaunty! Especially since you’re a real one!
bats :[
November 4th, 2009 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

Okay, it’s mostly for the Twinkie panel.
Muffaroo
November 4th, 2009 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

Nekrotzar @103 – “…without throwing up.”
Fashion Police
November 4th, 2009 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

#73, Poteet:
You are correct. We were thinking a little too specifically of our Aunt Edith, who never, to our memory, exposed her collarbones or her knees in public even though she never in her life (so she claimed) wore trousers. In spite of her somewhat antiquated fashion sense, she was a most stylish woman and would never have bee described as drab.

We learned after she passed away that she had had quite a smoldering youth.
commodorejohn
November 4th, 2009 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

#50 Josh – The Internet does strange things to a man.
gnome de blog
November 4th, 2009 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

#55 (sic transit) buckyswife

…his unfortunate personality resemblance to Bucky Katt.

I hate to bring this up, but there are no women in Bucky Katt’s world.
Agent 07
November 4th, 2009 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

“You snugglebunnies”. I’m still gagging over that one, how many days has it been now? My only comfort is knowing I’ll never own the unspeakable karma “somebody” is gonna get for unleashing it upon the world. Maybe I can even feel pity……

Nah.
(sic transit) buckyswife
November 4th, 2009 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

101 Red Baroness: Hmmm… your “???” makes me wonder if I should choose a symbol, a la Prince. Lacking bats :[ ’s imagination, though, I don’t think I’d be successful.

(By the way, I liked “Aviatrix,” too! It IS jaunty!)

Or maybe: Poll-Dancing Woman Voter. Except I should leave that one available for Girl Reporter’s mom.
(sic transit) buckyswife
November 4th, 2009 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

111 gnome de blog: There might as well not have been in my bucky’s world, either.
Girl Reporter
November 4th, 2009 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

Mother Girl Reporter is doing voter education in heaven. It’s all yours.
Mary Worth Discussion Group
November 4th, 2009 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

MW: They have been in that hospital for over two weeks… time for Terry Bryson to change Mary’s Depends!
(sic transit) buckyswife
November 4th, 2009 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

115 Girl Reporter: Oh, I’m sorry! I hope my comment wasn’t painful!
Sheila Sternwell
November 4th, 2009 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

#41 Écureuil Écumant – Or she handed out baggies of carrots with “eat healthy” messages on them. (I may or may not be referencing something that was said in another forum. Ahem.)

#53 Alan’s Addiction – I agree, but I suspect Ma Keane ordered the kids to look for their brother’s shoes, knowing he wouldn’t find them on his own, even if he was still wearing them.
Sheila Sternwell
November 4th, 2009 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

Speaking of picking screen names, when you’re trying to reference something it’s frustrating to find all the good names are male. I don’t think my suggestions of “Mr Manfredjensenjen” or “Charles Foster Kane” would help (sic transit) right now, unfortunately, and I can’t think of any good female names.

Relatedly, I feel bad for anyone Googling for the character Sheila Sternwell from “Time Squad”, because they’ll probably find there is no information on her and be lead instead to my comments here and… well, that ain’t right.
Joe Blevins
November 4th, 2009 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

“In a plugger’s house, nothing with chocolate in it ever reaches the expiration date… except, of course, for the pluggers themselves.”

A3G: The author of the strip has already conceded that the artist is not exactly fashion-conscious. How does she expect him to handle this fashion makeover storyline? How can we tell a made-over person from an un-made-over person in the A3G universe, where everybody dresses like Penney’s catalog models from the Reagan era?
Comrade Denny
November 4th, 2009 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

“[E]ven if you get across the half-mile of burning sand, you’ll just end up at the electric fence.”

And if you manage to make it past then, the giant bubble will get you anyway. Right Number Six?
kallista
November 4th, 2009 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

Aviatrix: I like both of your choices. I thought about grabbing “She-Pilot” after I read The Onion’s Amelia Earhart story just because it’s sour and anachronistic and it pissed off Katya so much. But I prefer Hanna Reitsch over Earhart anyway as a pilot (not her politics). Reitsch was a woman who knew how to play with the pipes.

Moly: I bought some cigars tonight and grabbed an empty Romeo y Julietas box on the way out. It’s probably the right size to temporarily compartmentalize my self-respect.
Nekrotzar
November 4th, 2009 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

#120 – If we are lucky, all the made-over people will look like Dick Tracy’s Evil Clown.
Ed Dravecky
November 4th, 2009 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

(sic transit) buckyswife: How about “Gloria Mundi”?
Poteet
November 4th, 2009 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

# 109 Fashion Police — Words cannot express how much I like “smoldering youth.” That phrase is definitely going into my obituary.
Mr. O'Malley
November 4th, 2009 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

119. Sheila Sternwell. For a while I was commenting on a local politics blog under the name of an early 19th century settler in this area.

However I discovered that my comments were rising in the Google rankings compared to the actual historical person. At that point I decided I should really pick a new nom de blog.

Pseudonym chosen by an writer to the Irish Times advocating marijuana legalisation: “Pro Stono Publico”.
commodorejohn
November 4th, 2009 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

#120 Joe Blevins – The weird thing is that Frank Bolle can draw; I don’t know why his newspaper-strip efforts are so lackluster, unless maybe he’s just getting too old to bother anymore. Still, wouldn’t it be great if this whole makeover storyline were leading up to an Art Upgrade?
Poteet
November 4th, 2009 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

PLUGGERS — I am addicted to milk chocolate to the point that I’m looking into treatment programs. But even I would hesitate to eat whatever that Plugger is gripping between her, um, wings.
Uncle Lumpy
November 4th, 2009 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

In the long-awaited Funky Winkerbean/Pluggers crossover, Les takes Lisa out on an “expiration date.”
Charterstoned
November 4th, 2009 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

MT – Today’s first panel reminds me of standing at the board, diagramming baffling sentences in Sr. Marie Michael’s 5th grade English class.

MW – Not unlike Superman’s crystal Fortress of Solitude, the hospital cafeteria is the source of Mary’s power. Created when Mary far-flung a single salmon square, the room heaved up (in much the same way as her poolside guests must have done after snacking on her hors d’oeuvres), and now Mary retreats to this special place whenever she needs to gain more knowledge about other people’s private business, or re-energize the elastin in her neck. Here is where we see her in her element, manipulating people both figuratively and literally. Today, she proves that she has Dr. Jeff right in the palms of her hand, signified by the dimunative man who is apparently standing in her coffee cup, the original Cup ‘o’ Joe.
It's time to pay the price
November 4th, 2009 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

I think Tommie is smart to decline the makeover. Apparently dying your head to match your baby blue pantsuit is “in” right now.
sugarpie
November 4th, 2009 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

122 Kallista Anything that pissed off Katya can’t possibly be bad.
Toronto
November 4th, 2009 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

127 Commodorejohn – well he IS like, 85, isn’t he? Most people have trouble drawing *breath* at that age.
Mardou Fox
November 5th, 2009 at 12:15 am [Reply]

Um, about Pluggers? If Mrs. Chicken-Thing Plugger is out of chocolate, then what is that she’s holding in her hand???
Girl Reporter
November 5th, 2009 at 12:45 am [Reply]

Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! Gloria Mundi! Gloria Mundi! You gotta take that one!
Girl Reporter
November 5th, 2009 at 12:59 am [Reply]

Seriously, because if you don’t I’m going to sign up for it and the rest of youse are going to be all “WTF with the Girl Reporter/Gloria Mundi admiration society?! One can’t comment without the other one gushing about how it’s the most clever thing she’s ever read! They should get a room.”

So really, save us all.
Lisa
November 5th, 2009 at 1:17 am [Reply]

{A3G: Does seeing Ruby all be-ribboned like that make anyone else expect Mel Cooley and Buddy Sorrell to show up in the next panel?}

Ack, how dare you diss one of the greatest sitcoms in history by comparing it to this idiotic drivel?? ***swoon*** (((thud))) !!!

Sally only wore one hair ribbon, not fifteen!
Poteet
November 5th, 2009 at 1:31 am [Reply]

11/5

MW — Oh,jeez. Not again. Over the past twenty years, I’ve seen several eye-roll-inspiring euphemisms for death gain popularity and get used in obituaries, but are we really going to lose the word “leave” next? No, dammit! If you just can’t bear to utter the real word and insist on a one-syllable substitute, Scott, I demand that you use “pass,” like so many others. I’m going to try to make sure that my own obit uses “kicked the bucket.”
Poteet
November 5th, 2009 at 1:39 am [Reply]

11/5

SNUFFY — So Loweezy is downcast because her looks are being repeatedly insulted by a woman who’s so homely she makes Tater look like the Gerber Baby. Riiight.

ZITS — GAAAAAH!
Poteet
November 5th, 2009 at 1:56 am [Reply]

Combining # 125 & # 139, I get an obit that reads “After a smoldering youth, she kicked the bucket.” Short and inexpensive.
Ace
November 5th, 2009 at 2:11 am [Reply]

Tonight the part of Barfy will be played by Marmaduke. I know where your shoes are, Jeffy. And from the look on that mongrel’s face, you will be reunited with them shortly.
Poteet
November 5th, 2009 at 2:15 am [Reply]

11/5 9CL — Brooke, you know owls about as well as you know dairy farming, har har. Owls do not poop out prey bones in their droppings. All the bones are regurgitated in the form of pellets. From now on, I’d recommend you stick to cello, ballet, and the big city. Out here in the countryside, you could end up hurting yourself.
OMJulie
November 5th, 2009 at 2:18 am [Reply]

11/5 Comics. I have just these to say:

Mary Worth: And thus begins Adrian’s first tender forays into Munchausen’s Syndrome.

Pluggers: You’re a Plugger if you are Eve, mother of all humanity. And you’ve been alive since the beginning of the Earth. And you still can’t program your VCR.

Shoe: My eyes! “Hot” “chick” “back”! Noooooooooooo!

Zits: MY EYES! Nooooooooooooo!
Sarah
November 5th, 2009 at 2:19 am [Reply]

A3G comment made me giggle.

Pluggers was just dumb.

(Public apology to Pluggers artist.)
OMJulie
November 5th, 2009 at 2:21 am [Reply]

Also, if Greg Evans is trying to hook Luann up with TJ, I might implode. So all y’all should hope that doesn’t happen.
True Fable
November 5th, 2009 at 2:31 am [Reply]

I am quite happy to have a name like Truman A. Fable. Sort of sings, doesn’t it!

Apartment of Doom, now with More Despair! Tommie finally admits what we knew all along.

Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Poor delusional Sgt. Lugg.

Children of the Circle Figures that the head is the largest object he drew.

WTF Gil Whew! Plot whiplash!

Lord of the Jumble Yesterday’s answers: That dumb CLUCK was once the BELLE of the ball until her ALKALAI taste in men came equipped with a joy BUZZER.

Sweet and Shallow “TJ is the ideal funny gay neighbor in our family sitcom, isn’t he Mom?”

Fist O Justice Theater Why doesn’t Sassy simply turn and step on them with her size 50 paw?

Master Poopypants Who gives a damn about the sniffles; Jeff’s prepping for the inevitable pants dump.

Mary, Bringer of Meddle I am going to read all of Scott’s lines with a strong note of bitter sarcasm from now on: “Like I have something to live for!” (”as if!”)
“I can’t leave yet(”Oh dammit! of all the luck!”)…we’re getting married!” (”See that plug? Pull it!”)
Mr. O'Malley
November 5th, 2009 at 2:35 am [Reply]

Zits: This “making fun of other strips” idea could possibly go too far …
AirForbes
November 5th, 2009 at 2:36 am [Reply]

MW: “She loves with an open heart – like how she picked up that con man. And without regret – she still hasn’t figured out that was a scam! What I’m trying to say is that she’s really stupid.”
True Fable
November 5th, 2009 at 2:37 am [Reply]

I Fucking Hate Zits And this is the reason why: combining Love Is with a naked Jeremy Duncan. There outta be a law. Brain Bleach by the Gallon.
sugarpie
November 5th, 2009 at 2:43 am [Reply]

Would someone reach in and rip out my still-beating heart? Please. As a favor? I just read Snuffy Smith and I laughed.

Just when I though life couldn’t hold any further humiliations, I am proved wrong.
Crankenstank
November 5th, 2009 at 2:55 am [Reply]

Hey kids, there’s a niche web site waiting for you — get out the Google Adsense account and start raking in the bucks for Stormee Weatherbee’s Hot Lightning and Thunder Showers.
Mibbitmaker
November 5th, 2009 at 3:15 am [Reply]

11/5:

9CL: First the (God)damn Yankees, now Thorax! Okay, the universe officially hates me.

A3G: Join the club! ~ we gave up on you, too, Tommie.

BBlues: Given Zoe’s last part, I have no idea why her mom has the dismissively smug look towards her husband there. It’s like something that should be called a Lockhorns Compliment.

Cranky: Oh, she’s watching MSNBC? (Zing!)

DT: A pop gun, no doubt. A Pops gun? ummmm…. well, they can’t all be today’s Cleats.

FC: Ouch!

FW: Move along, Mibbit…. nothing to see here…. just keep moving….

GA: DUH! DUH! DUH! DUH! duh! duh. duh….

GT: “The Ghost” turns to the last panel and says, “Nobody likes a wise-guy narration!”

JP: There goes Rocky’s Father of the Year Award…

Zits: I don’t know whether to love this one because it’s snarking a comic like PBS, Lio, My Cage and we do — or just be totally creeped out by the whole thing!
Alfred E. Neuman
November 5th, 2009 at 4:17 am [Reply]

Wednesday stuff (I know — I’m late)
JP— I’m glad that Barreto is not in charge of placing freeway signs around here. I hate it when I have to drive past the sign and read it backwards in my rearview mirror. Maybe that’s why the 18-wheeler on the far left is going the wrong way. Sam is too busy being a cell phone drunk to notice.

Luann— Nancy DeGroot believes that every female that Brad knows is a conniving whore, with the exception of herself and Luann. And she’s not too sure about Luann.

Thursday
Zits— Today’s strip is completely unrealistic. If a nude Jeremy is going to be alone with a nude Sara, she should be the one doing the licking.
Kibo
November 5th, 2009 at 7:31 am [Reply]

Wait, that’s not Weatherbee on the screen. Mr. Weatherbee wears old-timey pince-nez glasses (just as Archie is stuck in the 1950s, Mr. Weatherbee is stuck in the 1850s.) The guy on the screen has only a monocle. That means he’s actually Mr. Weatherbee’s evil twin, Mr. Beaterwhee! (Yeah, it floated to the top in my anagram generator.)

The main difference between Mr. Weatherbee and the eeeevil Mr. Beaterwhee — other than their different preferences for smallpox-era eyewear — is that Mr. Beaterwhee doesn’t just give Archie detention, he beats him, while yelling “Whee!” I think some twirling might be involved, too — he’s just that evil.

As to why Mr. Beaterwhee is on Mr. Weatherbee’s computer screen, it’s obvious — he’s a filthy camwhore. “Type in what you’re wearing,” Beaterwhee is saying. Mr Weatherbee will respond, “I AM WEARING MY TINY HAIRPIECE.” Then Beaterwhee will ever-so-slowly take off his monocle and lick it. After that, it gets weird.
Charterstoned
November 5th, 2009 at 7:58 am [Reply]

MW – Scott’s strange posture in the second panel, along with the fact that his left arm is firmly hidden beneath the blanket, certainly provides one clue as to why he can’t leave yet. He’s still trying to come (out of his coma, I mean).
Vince M
November 5th, 2009 at 8:30 am [Reply]

MC: I’m pretty sure that’s not “Taps”, which is more “dum da Dummm – dum Dum DUMMM…”. Violet is doing that tune that’s cartoon shorthand for ‘dead’ (Sylvia Sidney has it as her ringtone in ‘Beetlejuice’)
Mela
November 5th, 2009 at 8:31 am [Reply]

Thursday’s stuff:

Before I start, I just want a word about Mark Trail: When you threaten gators, I don’t care. When you threaten freakish kids, I still don’t care. When you threaten cute dim-witted puppies, it’s on, bitches! C’mon, Fist o’ Justice!

A3G: Oh, holy crap, I’m Tommie. I feel so… sick.

‘Shaft: Satire works better when it’s aimed a precise target and doesn’t come with a blinking “insert least favorite 24-hour news network here” sign on it. Just saying.

GA: Can we all just admit that Walt’s dead and call it a strip – er, day?

Luann: I just realized something. “Luann” is “Blossom” only somehow more insuffrable. I’m sure this is nothing new to the rest of you, but it explains so much to me.

Zits: My brain honestly can’t decide if this is funny or horrifying. On the one had, it’s mocking a really terrible strip. On the other hand, I’ll be seeing those two in my nightmares tonight.
mordock999
November 5th, 2009 at 8:43 am [Reply]

Today’s Luann 11/05/2009

Luann – “You know Mom, TJ’s a slimy, no-good, con-artist that would SELL his own Grandmother to make a buck. He has embrassed our family on MANY occaisons, made your son Brad look like a BIGGER fool than he already is, nearly burned our other house to the ground, made passes at me, and has participated in criminal activities that SHOULD have landed him in jail for at LEAST 20 years, YET You TOLERATE him. WHY?”

Nancy – “Becuase he’s so CUTE, Dear! Thats ALL that matters!”

Luann – “Oh, I see. And I suppose that the fact that You were once an Irresponsible Hippie,that took Judgement Altering drugs, BUT are NOW to trying to Hypocritically pass yourself off as some, All-Wise, Sactimonious, ‘Concerned Parent’ has got NOTHING to do with your opinion of him, right?”

Nancy – “NOT in the SLIGHTEST, bit, Dear! NOW, hurry! We must get to Brad’s house and STOP him from EVER having Sex!!”

_____________________

DEATH to TJ and Nancy DeGroot!!!
Uncle Ritzy Fritz
November 5th, 2009 at 8:55 am [Reply]

Damnable tiny comics: Mrs. DeGroot – 2nd panel, 3rd word, 3rd letter – an “O” or a “C”?
queek
November 5th, 2009 at 9:03 am [Reply]

Zits: I’m gobsmacked. Utterly floored. Picking carpet fuzz off my jaw. Just wow. (well done, Mr. Borgman and Mr. Scott.)
MolyBendum
November 5th, 2009 at 9:04 am [Reply]

Apartment 3G Well, Tommie lost her “dignified” reservations quickly. Put a camera on her and the self-pity of a lackluster life led in the cyan shadows just pours out of her. Even the camera guy is eating up her poorly hid desperation. A makeover will definitely make Margo’s mashing of Tommie’s temporary self-confidence superbly satisfying.

B.C. I am still haunted by my inability to get the joke in Monday’s BC. Now I think BC is smarter than I am. If they had gone Far Side-y with today’s strip, with just the 3rd panel and nothing else, letting the reader come up with the idea that they were both chasing a doe, I would have been impressed. Instead I’m just irritated. BC is like a hemorrhoid to me.

Beetle I get the sneaking suspicion that Louise’s nickname for Sarge’s weenis is “McGooey” and I am so glad this ended when it did.

Dick Tracy Oh goody, Clowndiddly and Fee Fi are going to be eaten/violently killed and mangled. That clears up all the moralizing about Fee Fi being more or less guilty of something. So creative.

Gil Thorp I have a feeling Jamarr isn’t getting laid until he joins Danny Daley in prison.

Mary Worth Isn’t that precious! She’s putting her little play stethoscope up to her ears, just like someone once showed her a doctor might do!

My Cage Actually it ‘reads’ more like Chopin’s Funeral March, but that could just be me.

Shoe “Yeah, we can be together but I won’t be happy about it” should be a perfectly acceptable response for Shoe.
MolyBendum
November 5th, 2009 at 9:07 am [Reply]

Oops. I should edit my My Cage comment to “What Vince M said at 156″ but I can’t.
(sic transit) buckyswife
November 5th, 2009 at 9:09 am [Reply]

Zits: So I sat down with my cereal and coffee this morning, la de da, opened the newspaper, and ….GAH! nekkid Jeremy! nekkid Sarah! (At least, thank god, both were seated.)

SM: That’s the LAST thing you want to do, Peter? I thought the last thing you wanted to do was get gainful employment. Or act like a superhero. Or do anything that requires getting your ass off your couch on a regular basis.

A3G: Wow…. the utter despair…. the self-loathing…. It’s what I suspected Tommie’s been thinking all along.

BB: At first, I thought that Sgt. Lugg was snuggling Sarge. But then I realized that they’re riding in one of the Army’s famous “monoJeeps,” designed to accommodate one person only, and she’s holding on for dear life so she doesn’t fall out the side.

C’ville: Oh, so we’re back to the vampire idiocy again. yay.

MW: Really, Scott doesn’t look all that bad. By “leave,” does he mean “step out to grab a sandwich”?
(sic transit) buckyswife
November 5th, 2009 at 9:11 am [Reply]

140 Poteet: I like the concision, but it skips all the fun stuff between youth and death. Maybe, “After a smoldering youth and blazing midlife, she kicked the bucket.” (At least, I intend for my midlife to have some sparks!)

(I think I’m down to two name options—and Girl Reporter, Gloria Mundi isn’t one of them—not sure about the “fading away” implications—so it’s all yours!)
Whippersnapper
November 5th, 2009 at 9:16 am [Reply]

A3-G: So has everyone else, Tommie.
commodorejohn
November 5th, 2009 at 9:17 am [Reply]

A3G – *gasping, choking, uncontrollable laughter*

BC – I laughed.

BB – Not touching this.

BrS – So her gun wasn’t jammed, but she pretended it was when there was a tiger coming straight for her? Well, I guess we can bid farewell to that brief bout with making sense.

Crankshaft – AAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH

FW – “Not really…I suppose I’ll flail around trying to succeed at adult life for a while, then die of cancer.”

GT – This has to be the most awkward segue I’ve ever seen.

MT – Wow. Sassy is more tuned-in and aware than the human characters. Still got nothing on Andy, though.

MW – Yeah, yeah. He’s dead meat.

NAOQV – Well, did I call it, or did I call it?

Pluggers – Pluggers’ bodies are as ancient and atrophied as their colloquialisms.

RMMD – Sorry, Rex Morgan, I’m just not getting that much of a “villainous” vibe here. He’s a little selfish, but it’s really not that unreasonable of a request.

Shoe – From sexy lady-birds to sexy lady-birds in backless dresses. I wonder if Brookins is trying to squick Josh out?
Vince M
November 5th, 2009 at 9:46 am [Reply]

162: Nope, you totally called it! “The one that’s in the cartoons”, as I put it, just sounds dorky.
Bootsy
November 5th, 2009 at 9:52 am [Reply]

Niall, # 87, you’re a swell fella, and I knew you were joking and thus I was joking back. We do that here sometimes!
Tom
November 5th, 2009 at 10:05 am [Reply]

Ruby is emulating Rose Marie from the old “Dick Van Dyke Show” of the 1960’s. Rose Marie is the only other person to wear big bows in her hair.
Écureuil Écumant
November 5th, 2009 at 10:08 am [Reply]

@140 Poteet says: “After a smoldering youth, she kicked the bucket.” Short and inexpensive.

Mine would be a bit more like “Life was a smoldering bucket that he finally kicked.”
One-eyed Wolfdog
November 5th, 2009 at 10:10 am [Reply]

Beetle! Chow time, boy. I brought you a “milkshake” from “McGooey’s”.
Hank
November 5th, 2009 at 10:13 am [Reply]

RE: LuAnn. I swear to god, when I first looked at this strip today it appeared as if Mrs. DeGroot was saying she missed TJ’s cute cock. Which it probably did before the editors got to it.
One-eyed Wolfdog
November 5th, 2009 at 10:30 am [Reply]

MW: “…when you are better. Like, a lot better. My friend Mary helped me draft a list of flaws and foibles and other areas where we think improvement is possible. Are you able to sit up and read yet?”
Muffaroo
November 5th, 2009 at 10:33 am [Reply]

AD – “Only, of course, he wants to rut with one and you want to kill one.”

(Can’t help thinking of untangling the layers of metaphor in English folk songs about hunting the merry, merry doe.)

Curtis – If you turn the binoculars backwards, they’ll act as a microscope. You’re welcome.

Dick – “Mr. Pops still has a gun!” “Hot dang! Six more weeks of intense suspense!”

Family – Thel and Dolly should have that exact same face.

Gil – And, by another amazing coincidence, it’s also lunch time at the grade school, the downtown deli, and several local businesses!
bats :[
November 5th, 2009 at 10:36 am [Reply]

Yay! Classic Bloom County! Opus rockin’ out with Sting and the boys!
Muffaroo
November 5th, 2009 at 10:36 am [Reply]

Marmaduke – “We were inspired by our success feeding the rodents and cockroaches last week!”

Marfield – “I’ve heard of _______ … but THIS is RIDICULOUS!!”

Pluggers – You’re a plugger if one of your legs hasn’t quite grown in yet.

Prickly – Fair’s fair. Isn’t it time to give a credit line to the copier?

Shoe – Again, the expressions tell a different story:
“I’d like for you to fondle my pecker.”
“Right after you fondle mine.”

Zits – “Love is… waiting and waiting and waiting, but the damn thing never pops up.”

commodorejohn @166 – Is BB Baby Blues or Beetle Bailey?
Nuklhd
November 5th, 2009 at 10:36 am [Reply]

MW: “Whew. Crisis passed. Now I can get back to dithering about our future!”
Dingo
November 5th, 2009 at 10:38 am [Reply]

When I read the second panel of today’s Mary Worth, I burst out laughing. Bob says, “I can’t leave yet… We’re getting married.” with all the conviction of an elderly constipated curmudgeon contemplating the day’s bran muffin.
Sequitur
November 5th, 2009 at 10:45 am [Reply]

I’m not awake yet. Someone pass the coffee. No, the caffeinated kind.
I just looked at Slylock Fox and thought the list on the right was the answer to the six differences.
Old School Allie Cat
November 5th, 2009 at 10:47 am [Reply]

A3G – Not that we’ve come to respect reality from this strip, but Mr. Cat is a videographer, much like the one shown here – except that the show he works on would be called something like “Let’s Mess With Cars” in A3G-speak.

And here’s what I can tell you:

1. Videographers are generally not that well coiffed or well dressed. They often have to crawl around and get messy getting “compelling footage”, so you rarely see them in pristine royal blue jackets. Early in our marriage, I threw away a pair of holey, ripped cargo shorts, and Mr. Cat informed me that those were his favorite work shorts. Marriage has improved his fashion sense, but his favorite color is still plaid.

2. The camera this guy is using dates back to the 80’s, and therefore probably weighs easily 35 pounds. While shoulder mount cameras do go on the right shoulder as indicated here, the photog would need both hands at some points to use it properly, and he sure as hell wouldn’t hold it with his left hand crossed over his body so that he could wield a 1970’s microphone in his right hand. It’s awkward and illogical.

And it pisses me off that I should even have to be thinking about this.
Écureuil Écumant
November 5th, 2009 at 10:47 am [Reply]

GT: Only in Gil’s Galaxy would a “minimum security” prison have a bare dirt yard and razor wire fence as depicted in yesterday’s strip.

I bet they feed ‘em “Confinement Loaf” too. Yeah, Bubba, as a matter of fact I am “all through with that”. Eat hearty.
queek
November 5th, 2009 at 11:04 am [Reply]

181: having worked in them, that isn’t really far off. The chow hall today was about right as well.

regarding the earlier discussion of The Funeral March, I went and googled it. Am I the only one that thought “y’know, speeded up a bit and with some Stormtroopers, this might be pretty good.”
Karmyn
November 5th, 2009 at 11:05 am [Reply]

Damnit Scott, you were almost free. Why did you have to wake up? Next time, just die and be free. Do you really want Jeff as your father-in-law? Or to be anywhere close to Mary? Just have a relapse and die. It’s safer.
Niall
November 5th, 2009 at 11:09 am [Reply]

Another tired, cranky, snarkless day for me. Bleah. When I wake up more tired than I was when I went to bed, that’s not good.

So snark on, mudgeons, and the laughter and imagination will help me through the day.
Écureuil Écumant
November 5th, 2009 at 11:10 am [Reply]

@142 Poteet says: “11/5 9CL — Brooke, you know owls about as well as you know dairy farming, har har. Owls do not poop out prey bones in their droppings.”

Man, and all this time I thought that’s why they were always going “WhooOOOOOOOOO!”
Artist formerly known as Ben
November 5th, 2009 at 11:12 am [Reply]

11/5

MT: Sassy starts to running as soon as she hears “take it from behind.” She had quite enough of that in prison, thankyouverymuch.

MW: The romance! The excitement! Can you stand it? Scott is so overjoyed, he looks like he’s about to get a root canal without novacaine.

Marvin: Taking history into account, I’m surprised Marvin’s parents don’t wear HazMat suits every time they change him.

JP: Sexual frustration? Check. Resentment of wife’s litter of adoptees? Check. I’m starting to think Rocky will start making some private visits to the stables as well.

Crock: Hint for desert travelers.: When your exhausted and dehydrated, near the end of your rope, follow the example of these two and ditch your canteen.

BC: A bar where a guy who wants to fuck a girl can drink with another guy who wants to kill and eat the same girl. What’s not healthy about that?

OBH: A basic joke, but nicely played.

9CL: Apparently Thorax has been ghostwriting Zippy the Pinhead for the last ten years too.

BB: This is so sad. The only thing that brings meaning to Louise Lugg’s existence is playing beard to a badly closeted man. It’s like re-watching the last thirty years of Liza Minnelli’s life.
bats :[
November 5th, 2009 at 11:13 am [Reply]

183. Karmyn: fortunately, Jeff seems a little distracted at the moment.
John C Fremont
November 5th, 2009 at 11:14 am [Reply]

Words that actually came out of my mouth at 5:30 this morning; “Shouldn’t Fee Fi have grabbed the gun first or – Fuck! I just said that out loud!”
Niall
November 5th, 2009 at 11:17 am [Reply]

164. (sic transit) buckyswife: I daresay your life is in need of spark after what just happened, but be careful not to just look for a plug, or that would just make you a… ( no need to finish, eh?)

…yeah, if that’s the best I can do, I might as well be silent, lest I do to someone else what I did to Bootsy. And I don’t wish that on anyone.
Artist formerly known as Ben
November 5th, 2009 at 11:17 am [Reply]

The current Tommie story arc touches upon a metaphysical question that has only recently arised. To wit, is it possible to be too neurotic and self-loathing for reality TV? Obviously, you couldn’t ask for a better test case.
MD
November 5th, 2009 at 11:25 am [Reply]

Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. DeGroot? – TJ
Sequitur
November 5th, 2009 at 11:30 am [Reply]

A3G – Who’s feeding Tommie her lines?
Biiirdmaaan!
November 5th, 2009 at 11:45 am [Reply]

The dad from Marvin reminds me of Yossarian from Catch-22. What the other characters perceive as overreacting insanity is really the only rational response to the irrational horror that is Marvin. I’m looking forward to tomorrow’s installment where he claims that his insanity makes him unfit to be a parent, only to have his desire to be rid of Marvin be irrefutable proof of his sanity.
Artist formerly known as Ben
November 5th, 2009 at 11:46 am [Reply]

Love Is… finding some stale Valentine’s candy in the basement and realizing that you have the mother of all rat infestations. Holy shit!
KarMann
November 5th, 2009 at 11:51 am [Reply]

11/5:
Pickles: All right, which one of you Mudges has finally managed to harvest Marvin for organs?
FW: After seeing this in the morning dead-trees paper, I finally realized that the “joke” is that while of course the counselor means “after graduation” when she says “after school”, the no-good kid takes it as meaning “after classes today”. Way to get your joke across, Batiuk. WRITING!
Artist formerly known as Ben
November 5th, 2009 at 11:52 am [Reply]

#154 Kibo

As to why Mr. Beaterwhee is on Mr. Weatherbee’s computer screen, it’s obvious — he’s a filthy camwhore. “Type in what you’re wearing,” Beaterwhee is saying. Mr Weatherbee will respond, “I AM WEARING MY TINY HAIRPIECE.” Then Beaterwhee will ever-so-slowly take off his monocle and lick it. After that, it gets weird.

o_O
Red Greenback
November 5th, 2009 at 11:53 am [Reply]

H&J: “Next time use the men’s room!”
RM,MIA: “They’re in my living room… if you call that ‘living’!” *rimshot* “Phew!…tough booth!”
FC: Dolly’s right, Jeffy did draw that. And she can back up that accusation. His name is clearly written just to the right of the (panel) circle.
Pluggers: Have gone from snorting ‘caine to sporting canes. “Phew… tough blog!” (I actually found today’s offering clever and not entirely offensive.)
Carlo
November 5th, 2009 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

@172. That makes a lot more sense in the context of the strip, especially as she is straining to break out of her shirt.
Carlo
November 5th, 2009 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

Is it just me, or did Pastis dump his lame joke strips on us while he went on a bender?
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
November 5th, 2009 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

Zits: That’s wrong on SO many levels. Who do we complain to?
TheDiva
November 5th, 2009 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

Cathy: Thigh boots–yet another clothing item ruined irretrievably for me by Cathy.

FW: Owen knows that the cruel deity which governs the Funkyverse can strike him down at any moment, and thus it is folly to plan for anything more than the immediate future.

MW: In panel 2, Scott seems to be missing the lower half of his body. Fortunately this means that even after marriage Adrian will be incapable of procreating.

Zits: I’m not sure if my “ew” reaction is due to the nudity or the soggy breakfast pastry. I’m not sure it makes a difference.
Calvin's Cardboard Box
November 5th, 2009 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

FW – That joke was already old in the early 90s when Homer did his variation on it:

Counselor: What do you plan on doing after graduation?

Homie: Me and my friends are going to drink a lot of beer and stay out all night!!

Sorry, Batty. Simpsons did it!!!
UncleJeff
November 5th, 2009 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

DT: How wide is that steel on the top of that tiger cage that it would sustain the weight of a giant and a clown? OK. Too much thought is going into this strip.

How ’bout that mustache on FBI lady in Panel 1?

Adam@Home: Have you noticed that the artist Brian Bassett hired to do his strip has to draw shadows for everything in the strip? In a newspaper comic format, it gets kinda blotchy.
queek
November 5th, 2009 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

203: I think that a tiger cage would be fairly strong for a reason.
Calico
November 5th, 2009 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

MW – “Yes, my love, when you’re feeling better, then you can check out-for good!”

3G – Hahahahahaha!

FW – Or, you can go home and get cancer.

Shouldn’t Sarge be saving the McGooey’s for Beetle?

Sally – reminds me of the South Park ep where Kenny is in the cash grab game machine with canned goods, and all he grabs is a can of corn.

Snuffy – Haha, Loweezy needs a “Dressed in the Dark” makeover!

Zits – eccccchhhh please not all week bring back the zombies
(sic transit) buckyswife
November 5th, 2009 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

184 Niall: Cranky and snarkless? I thought the two went hand in hand—the crankier I get, the more I snark.

….Wait, what’s that? It’s not snarkiness but rampant, unpleasant bitchiness?

Damn.

(Anyway, I hope your day goes better!)
odinthor
November 5th, 2009 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

MW. — Humph, not even married yet, and already nagging that she wants him to be better!

Phantom. — And “!!” to you too, stripey butt.

RMMD. — Hey Cue, man, your values are all screwed up. Forget the effin’ cash and see if they’ll score us some drugs.

Spidey. —

Tomorrow – the Sandman commits his final crime!

Oh noes! He’s going to wear a tie with a busy pattern over his awning-stripe shirt. Fashion Police, time for an intervention!
Sequitur
November 5th, 2009 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

206. sic transit
Cranky and Snarkless? Isn’t that a law firm? You may need to check them out.
(sic transit) buckyswife
November 5th, 2009 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

208 Sequitur: No, I’ve decided to go with Cranky, Vengeful, and Snark—heard they’re very good.
Sequitur
November 5th, 2009 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

209. sic transit
Careful. I heard Pastis works for them.
Calico
November 5th, 2009 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

Cranky, Snarkless, and McGooey, LLP
Professor Fate
November 5th, 2009 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

MW: “Adrian would you please stop teleporting around the bed? It’s very distracting.”

FW: it’s funny because youth doesn’t think about the future which in the funkyverse means failure cancer and greasy pizzia so it’s understandable.
Niall
November 5th, 2009 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

(sic transit) buckyswife: Sadly, for me, I do my best snark when awake and my brain is functioning. Tired and short-tempered leads me to bad things, as I mentioned before.

The work day’s half-over, and if the afternoon is the same as the morning, I may well crack one of my six ice cider bottles tonight…
(sic transit) buckyswife
November 5th, 2009 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

210 Sequitur: Actually, that’s more of an incentive than a warning. (See my note about “sparks” above…. mmmm… Pastis….)
Sequitur
November 5th, 2009 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

214. sic transit — Check the helmet tag and see what a female USO host thought about Pastis.
bats :[
November 5th, 2009 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

I don’t know if anyone’s been watching the Jeopardy Teen Tourney, but the other day, one of the kids had no idea of the answer (which was “Who is Alexander Hamilton?”), and so wrote “Sean Connery.”
I snorfed.
So did mr. bats :[
We’re so juvenile.
(sic transit) buckyswife
November 5th, 2009 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

215 Sequitur: Hee! That’s great—and I want to be that USO host’s friend! (And you know, dorks are sexy, too.)
Sequitur
November 5th, 2009 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

216. bats :[
My wife and I saw that as well. We both snorfed too. I guess we’re all so juvenile, that’s why we like the teen tourney.

217. sic transit
DORKS ARE SEXY TOO!
Is there a T-shirt for that?
Doctor Handsome
November 5th, 2009 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

As awful as the self-porn Weatherbee was checking out must surely be, there’s no way it can compete with the horribleness of the scene that likely follows Archie’s awkward, fumbling excuse to get into Weatherbee’s office, during which they avoid eye contact in a vain effort to deny the palpable sexual tension between them.
AhClem
November 5th, 2009 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

#217 (sic transit) buckyswife -
Wow, thanks! (blushes).
mollificent
November 5th, 2009 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

A3G: OK, you know what? You can laugh at today’s A3G all you want, but I found it pretty poignant. Which quite possibly says something about me. Hmmm…

JP: As usual, I’m way behind the curve here, but…when the hell did Judge Parker turn into “Jon & Kate Plus 8″?

Luann: AUGH! I honestly read this first as “And he has a great cock.” Then it happened again with “cute cock”. Damn you, CC! You have corrupted my innocent…(*makes mental list of all Peter Greenaway films I’ve ever seen…ok, maybe it isn’t CC’s fault. Although I think the Jello Cock incident has to be at least partly to blame.)

#172 Hank, I’m leaving my comment standing because I wrote it before I caught up on reading the comments.

This is a perfect example of the frustrating conundrum that is CC fandom. As I’ve said before, I really like to save the comics for the morning as part of my waking-up ritual. However, that means I can’t read the CC after 10pm my time, to avoid advanced snark spoilers. So I read the comics, write my snark, and then catch up on reading CC comments and have to delete half my snark because it’s already been said! Aaargh!

Zits: Let me add my voice to the general GAH!!

Lio: Get the Glee kids one of those, stat! “I’ll see your Squishee and raise you one FACE FULL OF SPIDERS!!! Muahahahaha!!”
Dr. Y. Zowl
November 5th, 2009 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

Has anyone else noticed that Mr. Wetherbee is starting (i.e., since the last time I read an Archie comic 50 years ago) to look a lot like Auric Goldfinger? Has there been a “No, Mr. Andrews, I expect you to *die*” strip yet?
Sequitur
November 5th, 2009 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

Dr. Y. Zowl
So who is Odd Job? Svenson?
Farley's Revenge
November 5th, 2009 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

A3G: Tommie, in a desperate attempt to demonstrate that she has some redeeming quality in her life that justifies her existence beyond providing Margo with free labor, chooses “dignity”.

Once again, Tommie chooses poorly. Typical. This IS Tommie, after all. Even Luann knows Tommie and “dignity” would need an economical car and a functioning GPS to find each other.
Marthas Rolling Pin
November 5th, 2009 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

Doc K & R, your vignettes are getting better every day. Thanks for sharing them with us.
Mooncattie
November 5th, 2009 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

#221 mollificent – I read Luann the same way at first, and saw to my horror that it seemed to go perfectly with the look on Ma DeGroot’s face as she realizes she’s just spilled the beans…so to speak. Fortunately, everyone in her family, especially her daughter, has a strong relationship with the word “Clueless”.

There be goats out there! A special report on Goats in Art in today’s Guardian:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/gallery/2009/nov/05/goats-in-art
Marthas Rolling Pin
November 5th, 2009 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

#161 Molybendum, I just moused you ;), and all I can say is… Adrian:Prince Valiant.

You’re welcome.
UncleJeff
November 5th, 2009 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

215 et al: Much respect to Stephen Pastis, Mike Grimm and Jeff Keane for taking the time to visit our troops in Iraq and Kuwait.
One thing though about flak jackets: I know it’s important to protect the heart, lungs and spine but those jackets leave the bellies quite exposed.
Of course, it could be because they were made for fit young soldiers and not middle-aged cartoonists.
As for me, the only way I’d go over there is if they gave me a Kevlar caftan for head-to-toe coverage.
migellito
November 5th, 2009 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

I looked at Zits today. Has this been going on all week? I’m asking here because I’m afraid the ‘previous day’ link holds realms of Lovecraftian horror that I’m just not prepared to face.
Comcis Fan
November 5th, 2009 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

Zits: Of course Sarah is frustrated. She and Jeremy finally get naked and he licks his own struedel. Oh, and they’ve both had their puberty reversed, which also could indeed be frustrating.

FW: Or marry someone with cancer.
Hank
November 5th, 2009 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

RE: mollificent, November 5th, 2009 at 2:00 pm. I think there’s nothing wrong with a snark that essentially repeats a prior snark. In fact, I find it somewhat instructive, if not reassuring, to see when multiple readers have the same opinion.
Dr. Weird
November 5th, 2009 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

229 migellito -

No… it’s been average “Teenagers are messy and unaware of it” gags in Zits this week. The “Love Is” parody came out of nowhere.
bats :[
November 5th, 2009 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

221. mollificent re JP: early in this storyline (I think it was May 2007), it was noted that Godiva has adopted a lot of children, a la Madonna, or more likely, an homage to Angelina Jolie (and Brad Pitt). I’m assuming that they must be a multicultural family because at one point she’s screaming at two kids rough-housing in the pool, Conan (who might be Irish, or the illegitimate son of a late-night talk-show host) and Zuni Boy (who, I guess, might be Zuni but who didn’t come with the requisite “20,000 of the Best Zuni Baby Names in the World”).
mollificent
November 5th, 2009 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

bats :[ …how could I have forgotten? Oh, that’s right, I was in preschool when this storyline started. ;)
Poteet
November 5th, 2009 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

# 164 (sic transit) buckyswife — What a wonderful idea, especially since I do prescribed burning. And the result is still short and inexpensive. Thank you.
And I am looking forward to seeing your new name when it is unveiled.
Poteet
November 5th, 2009 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

# 170 Écureuil – Har!
seismic-2
November 5th, 2009 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

#138 Poteet:
Are you suggesting that our esteemed professor change her screen name to KickedTheBucky?

In any case, I’ve just now read the last few blogs, and I too offer my condolences and congratulations (a basket of emotions, from which to choose) to MelanieHaberAudreyFarberSusanUnderhillBettyJoBialowskiNancy, and whenever she does choose a name, I’m sure we shall recognize that it is she, just from the quality of the snark. For now, I salute her resolve to move on with her life, and tonight I shall join her (remotely, of course) in raising a glass of the Spirit That Even Walks *

*in the bourbon tongue
(sic transit) buckyswife
November 5th, 2009 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

237 seismic-2: Hee! And thank you (toasting, sipping).
Marion Delgado
November 5th, 2009 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

So, is Batiuk moving in on Luann as I predicted?

Luann’’s abortive affair (and pot smoking incident) with friend TJ causes Brad to ban him from the house, yet paradoxically, having lost his bachelor pad, he also won’t see his beloved TONI DAYTONA, for which he irrationally blames his sister.

http://burnsidewriterscollective.blogspot.com/2007/12/most-unlikable-character-in-comic-strip.html?showComment=1233450360000#c1995907732591287953
kallista
November 5th, 2009 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

I also had a “smoldering youth.” And I smile every time I think of him.

Note to AeroSquid: he was over 18.
Gabacho
November 5th, 2009 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

#221 mollificient referring to Apt 3G -

I found it pretty poignant.

So did I when I read it this morning and I still do after rereading it this afternoon. It surprised me and it is very good writing. I hope this does not continue or I may grow bored with the strip. But right now, I like it.

Mary Worth – on the other hand long ago jumped the shark and in its current storyline makes Funky Winkerbean look nuanced. The only thing that keeps me coming back now is my fascination as to why Dr. Jeff participates so eagerly in Mary’s destruction of his children and himself.
mollificent
November 5th, 2009 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

#240 kallista: You go girl! I gotta get me one of those!

#241 Gabacho: Well said! Ms. Shulock has transitioned smoothly this week from tugging at snark-strings to heart-strings, for which I commend her. However, if she intends to tug both at the same time, she may have to lay some burnt offerings at the feet of Ed Power and Stephan Pastis, and ask for guidance. :)
Lucky
November 5th, 2009 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

Baby Blues – So you just couldn’t say it in a way that doesn’t give me an uncomfortable mental image?

Blondie – So that’s how Dagwood stays so thin! He just has an incredible metabolism that demands multiple very precise sacrifices each day.

Buckles – I think David Gilbert might be getting a bit uncertain about his creation’s popularity.

Dennis the Menace – No, you got it all wrong. This is how you act menacing: http://www.playgroundlaw.com/cgi-bin/browse.pl?sid=3561

Fred Basset – “Oh crap, the joke isn’t obvious enough. Oh well, nothing a little Wite-Out and added dialogue won’t fix.”

Funky Winkerbean – Yes, because that’s what teenagers do in the 21st century. Read comic books.

Mark Trail – Fortunately that first speech bubble is there. Otherwise someone might think that Sassy is running away from looming sodomy.

Pluggers – Were that a male Plugger there, I could make a cheap joke about “raising a cane”, but no such luck.

Prickly City – I have made an observation that Scott Stantis’s art gets more and more unstable whenever he makes Winslow into a straw man, probably as a result of him furiously crushing the pen in his sweaty hand while grumbling about “dem durn libruls”. It seems like this time he got so angry that he had to use a photocopier instead.

Rose is Rose – Oh, so you imagined that ship? My dear Pasquale, you have a crappy imagination. Please take a few lessons from Calvin.

Snuffy Smith – Please tell me that’s not Snuffy in drag.

Zits – *sounds of breaking window, followed by screaming and a splat*
mollificent
November 5th, 2009 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

P.S. regarding (sic transit) buckyswife’s dilemma: If ever I decided to change my screen name, I think I would have to take my very favorite of the comments left on my “Someone Else’s Chickweed” video:

Needs More Cello.

:)
Marthas Rolling Pin
November 5th, 2009 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

#243 Lucky, re: Funky. Well, that’s what mine does, anyway. Then he puts them away in box after box after box…says he’s investing. There are a lot worse after-school activities….
Sequitur
November 5th, 2009 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

243. Lucky
Blondie: Dagwood is Metabolism Man!
This is the kind of super hero David Letterman’s Paul Schaffer created with his parady of super heros, The Strong Man, The Fat Man, The Genius.

“The Strong Man, The Fat Man, The Genius. There’s nothing they can’t break or eat or solve.”
madonnas dickdarm
November 5th, 2009 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

what if ‘member is short for dismember?
UncleJeff
November 5th, 2009 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

180 OFAC: Hey, you think your hubby’s got it bad. I’m in radio. Our best-known fictional characters are Les Nessman of WKRP, Mark Slackemeyer of Doonesbury and Marty Moon. Mark is the closest to reality of the three.
UncleJeff
November 5th, 2009 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

Zits: Imagine how creepy and disconcerting today’s strip would be if you had no idea that the “Love Is…” panel ever existed.
Muffaroo
November 5th, 2009 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

Calvin’s Cardboard Box @202 – Porgie: We’re the leaders of tomorrow.
Mudhead: But it’s today!
Porgie: What are you gonna do tomorrow, after we graduate?
Mudhead: Oh, I dunno. I thought I’d find a bunch of guys and dress alike, and follow ‘em around.
…
Porgie: Right after I graduate, I’m gonna cut the soles off my shoes, sit in a tree, and learn to play the flute.
Darkefang
November 5th, 2009 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

For the last four or five years, pregnancy and STDs are on the rise among teenagers. However, there is hope. Teenage sexual activity is expected to drop significantly when students are shown today’s Zits, permanently eradicating the desire for any kind of sexual behaviors.
Fashion Police
November 5th, 2009 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

Let us consider some recent events in Miss Thompson’s life. A couple of years ago, while wearing a pink cocktail dress that closely resembled a negligee, she prudently chose not to have an affair with the estranged husband of her college roommate.

Soon after, an arrogant off-off-Broadway director made a pass at her. She had on an amusing if dated simalcrum of Gay ’90s wear.

That was followed by an episode in which two men competed for her affections – never mind that one was a psychopath and the other was even more boring than she.

It appears that her life has been livlier than most, even though she is far from the old Abigail Thompson whose cold stare could shiver even Margo Magee.

She has slumped badly in the wardrobe department, but that is a symptom, not a cause. In our non-professional judgment, Miss Thompson is clinically depressed. We sincerely hope she does the makeover, or at least gets a good haircut. She should, however, remain prim and prudish, as it suits her the way bombast suits Miss Magee. Prim and prudish can be very alluring if done properly (are you listening, Mr. Bolle? Are you up to the challenge?).

A little counselling wouldn’t hurt either. One would hope she turns to someone more professionally adept than Mr. Aristotle Papagoras.
Sequitur
November 5th, 2009 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

Does anyone else find this and/or this a bit gross?
gnome de blog
November 5th, 2009 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

Well, it looks like Adrian’s swain isn’t going to die, but there’s still hope for the Jake Barnes option.
bats :[
November 5th, 2009 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

253. Sequitur: oh, yeah. Sick on both counts. Evidently, neither cartoonist has heard of bot infestations in cattle and sheep. Yuck.
J.D. Hammond
November 9th, 2009 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

Mr. Weatherbee’s anger masks his shame at almost being caught surfing for Mr. Weatherbee porn while at work.

Well, now that he’s found Goat C, there’s not a lot of Internets left for him to conquer.

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