Unspeakable perversion Friday
Gil Thorp, 11/6/09
Yes, it’s “that time” over in prison, that time for something that we can’t really see that well because the ring of prisoners, eager for some kind of diversion from their banal minimum-security lives, is blocking our view. Is it a good old-fashioned prison fight with improvised weapons, or good old-fashioned situational homosexuality? Either way, Gil seems to have found out about it in mid-practice, somehow. “Say, Duncan, do you know there’s this awesome Web site that’s just all streaming video footage from prisons, all the time? And that the school’s Wi-Fi network reaches all the way out here to the practice fields? Anyway, long story short, your brother got stabbed to death with a fork.”
Luann, 11/6/09
“You know what, TJ? I’m 23 years old, I’m a firefighter, I saved Toni’s life by letting her fall on me. If I want to stand outside the bathroom door and masturbate while she poops, I’m allowed to! Whose parents own this house, anyway?”
TJ seems to have been recruited by Brad’s parents to prevent illicit Brad-Toni coupling, and he’ll need all of his abstinence-promotion skills to complete that mission.
Shoe, 11/6/09
“OK, Skyler, it’s about time we had a little talk. You’re getting older now, and you should know … that … you’re a bird. As am I. We’re all birds. I know we wear clothes and have jobs and go to school, so you probably thought that we’re people, but, no: birds. Are there bees out there that are similarly anthropomorphized? Seems unlikely to me, but in a world of freaky suit-wearing coffee-drinking bird-people, anything’s possible, right? Anyway, you might want to keep a lookout for bee-people. I was going to text this to you, but then I remembered that I don’t really have hands, so that would be difficult.”
Zits, 11/6/09
The weird naked degenitaled characters in Love Is: creepy.
Jeremy and Sara’s heads superimposed on said weird naked degenitaled bodies: creepier.
Jeremy grinning widely has he holds his camera just inches from Love Is-ified Sara’s naked upraised ass: That, my friends, is unspeakable perversion Friday.
November 6th, 2009 at 11:45 am
Luann: Is it just me, or is TJ perpetually trying out for a part with some sort of 80’s-era Tears for Fears tribute band?
November 6th, 2009 at 11:46 am
I interpreted Luann as Brad being “just that smooth” as to have had sexual relations (of any sort) with Toni (that quickly) and have a great poker face for dissembling. But TJ is too much even for Brad quickly grasping the situation.
Tundra takes on BC today, but their website appears to be the only place that posts them online and they only post them a week after printing.
November 6th, 2009 at 11:49 am
I was moused.
That’s all I’m gonna say.
November 6th, 2009 at 11:50 am
God, that Zits is some horrifying combination of food pornography, figurine fetishism and upskirt technology that makes me wonder just how it got by the same media services that censored For Better or For Worse when Lawrence came out of the closet.
November 6th, 2009 at 11:51 am
Hey, 3128! Down in front!…And isn’t it supposed to be lunch time at the high school, too?
November 6th, 2009 at 11:54 am
A3G: I think it was just yesterday that Josh made a comment about “ostentatious, theatrical bawling” being necessary for reality TV. Done, and done.
November 6th, 2009 at 11:55 am
Great, Zits is going to kill readership at the newspaper I work at. I’m going to look into that Dagwood franchise tip I got by e-mail from this king in Nigeria.
November 6th, 2009 at 11:57 am
Brad:
Even though TJ’s never been with anyone that way in the history of the strip, he’s seen enough PG-13 dramas to know the post-coital routine.
Meanwhile, this Diedrich Bader-lookalike is wearing a pullover that has lapels. I suppose that to make himself ‘cool’ he had a tailor custom-make a garment that never existed before.
November 6th, 2009 at 11:58 am
Josh, you can’t see or hear it but I’m giving you a standing ovation.
Zits: Well they may be naked, but at least they don’t have genitals. Meaning either one of them would be Nancy de Groot’s ideal offspring.
GT: Duncan Daley plays high school football. His brother sodomizes new meat in the prison cafeteria. In both cases the crowd goes wild.
MT: It’s one puppy, geniuses. You want several gators, you need a whole litter of puppies. Then you can deal with the karma.
JP: “Hey Rocky buddy, listen. Even by my standards, you’re problems are really boring. So first chance I get, I’m gonna shunt you off onto Abbey, ‘kay?”
DtM: Pssst. Alice. See those shelves behind you? Recognize what’s on ‘em?
Agnes: RL Stine help me. If this book is ever published, I’m first in line to read it.
MC: ROFLMAO
GA: Gertie’s puns are actually making the dead cry out in pain.
Archie: Of course the itching is worst on Jughead’s wiener. That’s just how sympathetic he is.
M-Dawg: An ending fit for an over-the-top villain. Marmaduke is going to bite it the same way Dennis Hopper did in Speed.
Blondie: Alexander is the spitting image of his father. He can’t have two girlfriends. Not unless the family is superrich again.
FC: Great. One kid is moving out already. Three more and they can buy that pool table.
November 6th, 2009 at 11:59 am
Attention Shoe: The best way to inform someone about the birds and the bees is NOT by pinning them down. That’s both criminal and morally bankrupt. Specifically, it’s cutting into Funky Winkerbean’s comic incest monopoly, and we all know how wrong and terrible that would be.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
A3G – Wait, wait, wait. I think some scripts got mixed up in the mail. This is clearly meant for Liz Patterson from a couple years ago. God only knows who has Tommie’s lines.
Crankshaft – Crankshaft spits in the face of God.
DTM – God, it’s not like the books have disappeared, you know. Is there something wrong with libraries stocking other media? Christ.
DT – I have to admit, today’s Dick Tracy has a sort of poetry to it that I kind of like. I think it says something that the gruesome death scenes are the most interesting parts of this strip.
FC – Don’t let the door hit you on the way out! Get in a hockey fight and lose some teeth!
GT – I think that fist in panel one has the longest thumb in the world.
HOTC – Heart Of The City is just great today.
MT – I’m not sure what I like best about today’s Mark Trail: the poachers apologizing to their bait, or Sassy’s mugging for the camera in panel three.
MW – Oh, Adrian has just snapped. I have a feeling that Scott isn’t actually alive, and this is all taking place inside her head. I can’t wait until she holds a wedding with his moldering corpse.
Ghost-Who-Mourns – Although I don’t doubt that Diana is actually alive, I’m impressed that The Phantom is actually trying to treat her apparent death seriously. A lot of works would have some sort of grim resolution that “she must be alive!” so that they don’t have to bother depicting the hero any different than usual, but The Phantom is actually trying to make a go of having Kit have a believable reaction to this. Bravo. Bravo.
SF – Oh, tell me you’re not jumping on the volunteerism bandwagon, Ces. Please?
SM – “Knickerbocker Bank.” Every now and again, Spider-Man does manage to redeem itself, a little.
Edison Lee – I have to hand it to Hambrock: this storyline has single-handedly managed to make Spider-Man look exciting.
Zits – I’m not sure whether to be glad I stopped reading Zits, or sorry that I missed snarking on this the first time.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Wait love isn’t posting pornographic images of significant others on youtube…hmmm might have to rethink my relationships
November 6th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
I never would have guess that Gil Thorp having a prison scene in which a prisoner yells out, “Drill him Daley” would be less obscene then zits mocking “Love Is” and yet there it is.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
C’shaft: Don’t go tempting your dark god, Cranky. You’re just asking to be buried in a blizzard and succumb to hypothermia.
DT: Unfortunately this plot line has been going on for so long that the tiger died of starvation.
Luann: Think about it, TJ: do you REALLY want to hear about Brad’s sex life? Let him change the subject all he wants.
MW: No, the real miracle is how Scott managed to gain a hundred and fifty pounds and grow three feet between panels!
Zits: Huh, and I would have thought Funky Winkerbean would addressed the issue of sexting first.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
GA: Although most folks are concentrating on Gertie’s finally committing to print, after only 90 years, this strip’s mission statement, I am more nearly interested in the plaintive cry for help that someone in the cemetery has shouted. Specifically, I am hoping that the person requiring assistance is Slim, who has joined the search for his wife ’s grandfather and has fallen into an open grave. I also hope that a nearby search party of Sheriff’s Deputies will mistake Slim for a zombie, and they will shoot him in the head. I volunteer to join that posse, just to make sure.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
MT: Ya know what I want to see? I want to see them capture TV’s Craig Ferguson and his alligator puppet. That’s what I want to see.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
The minute I saw Zits this morning, I figured it was the creepiest example of sexting imaginable. Also, “Drill him” is the last thing I want to hear a group of guys say to me in prison.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Sorry if this has already been posted, but here ’tis –
Comic-Con founder passes away at age 76
http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/wireStory?id=8998957
November 6th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Luann: I got a change of subject for ya, TJ. I see ya brought home two bags of onions. That must be forty pounds of fuckin’ onions. What, did you make your risotto in the bathtub? And don’t you think you better do something with your onions right about now, instead of playing grand inquisitor? I think you were out for just a bit more than seven minutes. Mebbe you better go check the BATHTUB OH MY GOD THEY WERE IN THE BATHROOM well at least your risotto will be extra creamy, you sawed-off twerp.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Damn! The “Zits” folks are going to get letters about that! When I see things like that, I wonder what it would be like to think like some of these cartoonists. How can you draw that, sit back, look at the comic and not realize it looks like he’s taking a picture of a naked teenage girls ass? Or, is it a naked baby’s ass? Ugh… it’s getting creepier by the second.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
GT: “Drill, Baby, Drill!” Yeah, Daley’s gonna have to get used to his new nickname “Mooseburger”.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
Shoe: I think that is a typo. It should have read: “I can’t pin his down long enough.” Ya see, because birds have down, and “pin” is bird-slang for “pinfeather”.
Jeez, my comics snarking is a little off today. Sorry about that. Carry on.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
I’m pretty sure Zits has gone where it shouldn’t, thematically, visually, maybe even legally.
BB: The apparently insatiable Sarge always sees another tunnel at the end of a tunnel.
Is it just us or are the comics really upping the ewww factor lately?
November 6th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
20. Ethan Shuster
And you know there are suppose to be editors out there. Hey, editors, where are you?
November 6th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
1. Peripheral Visionary: I dunno. Does TJ qualify as zeitgeist for the entertainment media of the 80s and 90s? He’s been associated with one celebrity or another, and your speculation is only one more argument supporting this.
Then again, all of those 80s groups tried to look a little too hard at being grim and/or serious (Tears for Fears, Flock of Seagulls, Spandex Ballet, a-ha), so I doubt TJ would’ve really made the cut.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Zits: Oh, okay. She tripped. Yeah, that’s what he’s posting on YouTube. Tripping. Yeah. Of course, it took me two solid minutes of staring at the comic to realize this. I need to go read the Bible for a while.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Zits: Is that a wide angle lens? Or a macro?
Pardon me while I go be sick.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
Unspeakable perversion . . . and Friday! My cup runneth over!
I love the quick cuts between the tough-as-nails minimum-security prison and the football field, because they all wear numbers — it’s like they’re all the same, man! Whew, heavy.
But . . . it’s not really just numbers if you know the code! “L’il” Danny Daley geschanks “I BLE(ed)” Glen Campo, egged on by effeminate acolytes “Bsie” and “Liz.” Only later does poor “Out Loud” Duncan get the tragic, and yet still somehow hilarious, news.
Ah, Friday.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
DtM: Dennis: Looks 5, talks 50. What five-year-old today remembers going to the library to look for books, without at least browsing the videos or playing with a computer or attending some sort of non-book event?
November 6th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Mary Worth: Adrian looks utterly horrified at Scott’s recovery. She attempts to put on what might be called a ‘happy’ face as she leans away and tries to figure out which machine to unplug.
Beetle Bailey: We all know what kind of ‘tunnels’ we’re talking about here.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
I wish I could’ve heard the brain-storming session on this Gil Thorp storyline between the writer and artist: “Frank, we need something to increase the excitement and suspense of football season. Obviously a place like Milford doesn’t have the population or money to produce a talented football team, so winning the state championships isn’t a possibility.” “I’ve got it, Neal – prison rape!” “Yes! Wait, what?”
It looks like TJ wrote the book on cock blocking. Either that or he’s hoping the current situation will develop into a threesome, in which case he’s still cock blocking.
Attention, “Shoe” writers. We’re gonna ignore the weird bird-people using the phrase “birds and the bees” issue right now and focus on the fact that an uncle is supposed to be telling his non-custodial nephew about sex. That’s beyond creepy. That’s almost a stereotypical set up for some kind of PSA about child safety. Also, if the nephew communicates largely through texting, chances are that he knows more about sex than his uncle.
I’m usually a fan of “Zits,” but today’s strip has made me rethink that. The key factor is that when a comic strip kills my appetite before breakfast, I should probably take a hiatus.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
In panel two, Danny Daley is obviously exacting terrible anus-violating vengance upon the person who glued that toilet brush scrubber head to his chin.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Love isn’t…
Continuing with nauseating crap like today’s Zits.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
I’ve actually never had the occasion to criticize nuThorp for indistinguishable characters, so I’m going to assume that that’s actually not the issue here and that that’s actually Gil himself in panel 1, have glued a goatee to his chin in the hopes of scouting out the local prison for new basketball prospects.
Meanwhile, I just checked and freaky, distorted, naked Sara and Jeremy-doing-something-stupid is a running theme for both today and yesterday! If we’re lucky, we can watch a whole week of this stuff! Personally, I choose to read it as Sara’s mental image as her repeat attempts to seduce Jeremy after all these years are met with nothing but predictable childishness. I’d feel for her, but like everyone else I’m reacting to the appearance of the art by standing far, far away with child services on speed dial.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
Patrick @4 Although it took me several minutes to notice, the part of the picture that isn’t a cameraphone capturing a naked butt shows someone who has tripped and fallen after carrying a tray of food. The censors who are horrified by Lawrence’s homosexuality are so closeted themselves that they see only the tripping. As far as they are concerned, he’s videoing the embarrassing fact that she has dropped her dinner. It’s the dolphins again.
Of course when it’s us, even the dolphins seem perverted. Did you know that dolphns have muscular control over their penises?
November 6th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
GT: With all this recent cross-cutting, is Gil Thorp trying to show the parallels between high school football and minimum security prison — the violence, the homoeroticism, the numbered uniforms which rob the individual of personal identity?
ZITS: Please, Zits artist, can you stop making all the women in your comic have those hideous clown/suckerfish mouths? Those are not appealing. Thank you.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
I was wondering what all the hoola in Zits was about. Not curious enough to go find out.
Once again, Josh reads it and then shares with us so we HAVE to see it.
Thanks a LOT, Josh.
*ughs and shivers*
November 6th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
One must remeber that time in Gil Thorpe is fluid- and by “fluid”, I mean “jerking around at no discernable rate of speed”.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
With today’s Zits, maybe they could call the strip Tain’t Love.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
#36 Joe Blevins – to say nothing of the chain gang of “convicts” in heir striped shirtsm running up and down the field. What It Was, Was Football.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
If Zits doesn’t get the outraged “humping dog” letters Far Side did, I’ll be surprised. (Far Side had a dog howling over its “kill” in a dream – accidentally right against a piece of the underside.)
I’m sure Zits just figured it had the “Love Is” cover … the kewpie dolls represent people with clothes. Except that that’s LI’s schtick. It’s always that way – it’s the context. Zits is trying to parody that for a few strips, but its context is more realistic – uh, clothes. So we don’t automatically classify it as “action portrayed, but the people are clothed” and have to reach for the brain bleach.
Meanwhile, I may actually have a less interesting social life than A3G’s Tommie, and am so busy this semester that my life has been “get up, go to work, bring dinner there, work more, go home, go to bed” for the past week. But even *I* know better than to moan about it at a reality TV audition.
Tommie is so boring that even she won’t listen to herself. I can see her last shred of dignity slipping out of the panel. Just like she tried to warn herself about.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
@11 – commodorejohn
Agreed with your praise of The Phantom. While it does contain plenty of tropes that can be nitpicked (”shooting the gun out of the perp’s hand” comes to mind), it does usually manage to feature the hero doing heroic things. Even the much-mocked as dull “Phantom treats the Python back to health” plot turns out to be a setup to the current extended storyline.
Re: Luann
Oh, squick. TJ was gone for 7 minutes, and Brad went from fully-clothed on the couch to fully-clothed walking across the kitchen. When Toni said she likes her men to be fast and dangerous, she probably didn’t have this in mind.
November 6th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
GT: About those numbers. When I first saw the 7117 it looked to me like a sound effect “TILT” and I assumed the giant hand was spilling Danny D’s lunch down the front of his jumpsuit by tilting the tray…
And 32 Perky Bird, I’m a ’60s survivor that got around back in the day, and never have I set eyes on a toilet brush beard like that — and hope to the green goddess I never do!
Zits: “Tripping. Yeah. Of course” @26, BRWombat, you’re so right. That’s exactly what Scott & Borgman were doing when they decided to unleash this on the universe.
November 6th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Zits – Hasn’t anybody noticed that he’s not taking a picture of her butt? In the position she’s in, and her being naked, he’s taking a picture of her asshole and her pussy, the “hole” thing, as it were.
Yeah, I do wonder how it got past the censors. Either that, or I’m an irredeemably filthy pervert.
Luann – Perversion?
Brad: I was showing her the way to the bathroom.
TJ: This is an old bungalow of 900 square feet and five rooms. What the f*** are you talking about?
Brad: She had to use the bathroom!
TJ: What were you going to do, shake it off?
Brad: What? What the hell are saying?
TJ: (blurts) Toni’s a transsexual, Brad . . . she’s a chick with dick!
Brad: You mean I just got a blowjob from a . . .
TJ: And now that you have . . . won’t you let ME be our boy?
Brad: (reeling) What? WHAT?
TJ: You know I’ve loved you, I’ve always loved you. And now you know that you can have sex with a man . . . let me be your lover! I’ll cook for you!
Brad: (falls over in a dead faint. His pants, not fully zipped, drop down, revealing the (*) . .
TJ: (drops his pants) Oh well, whatthehell!
Toni:(coming out of the bathroom) Oo! Can we take turns?
Now really, is that any dirtier than all the winks and nudges and smirks and suggestions that go on in this strip?
November 6th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
“It’s that time…” prison…. “drill him”????
Good Lord! Is it sweeps month in the comics or something?
November 6th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
9CL – Letters don’t work that way.
Crankshaft – What do you know. A snow plow. Get it? That’s what Crankshaft would call it. Laugh now.
Dick – Whoa! Things are happening too fast now. I mean, what if a reader missed this week?
Gil – “Drill him, Daley!” He probably does. I’d heard of this sort of thing, but I always thought soap had to be dropped first.
Marmaduke – What came before this? Marmaduke saying, “Rye row a rort-cut!”?
Mary – No, Adrian, the miracle would be if you were paying attention to your actual patients who are dying on the ER floor.
Prickly – The ball could also draw a better strip.
Shoe – Sex is simpler and dirtier for birds, what with having a cloaca instead of the more complex aperture setup people have. Anal sex? What’s that? All bird sex is anal.
Spidey – KNICKERBOCKER BANK ROBBED — OVER 1,000 PAIRS STOLEN
Zits – “love isn’t…” particularly funny
bats :[ @105 – When we lived in Virginia, I’d see these “Virginia Is For Lovers” bumper stickers. Only the V was a big heart, and I was sorely tempted to take a big fat Sharpie and put an S over it. N-yuk! N-yuk! For that matter, an N would also do, but not quite as well.
November 6th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
#46 Muffaroo – One thing that I have always found amusing here in NoVA is all those cars with “Virginia Is For Lovers” bumper stickers – and Maryland license plates.
November 6th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
Unspeakable perversion subtext in Shoe: I’m really creep’d out by the perfesser’s terrible choice of words (”Pin him down”) in the particular context of explaining sex to the lad. What really is his relationship to Skyler?
November 6th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
#44: Wow! Luann slash fic. Just…wow.
November 6th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Okay. You’re all getting too silly. Stop the blog. Move along.
November 6th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
39. Dingo: and it’s Dingo for the win!
40. seismic-2: and it’s seismic-2 for the fond memory!
30. Jacob: in all honesty, that’s more of a constipated face (what I refer to as the Meryl Streep School of Acting), but maybe, as some folks have commented, the artist is experimenting with a new style.
November 6th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
How in the hell did Zits get that approved. This isn’t even a joke post, I am serious.
November 6th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
If I were some mid-1970s astronaut, lost in space but recently returned, and I saw a comic called “Zits,” authored, I guess, for Zit Fetishists, featuring a child who photographs the rear ends of a multi-pierced, be-zitted redhead child to show her butt-zits or something, I think my first question would be — what is that thing he’s holding? A flip camera? Smartphone? Is there a light from a flash? Who posts stills on YouTube? And what’s keeping those Apes? Shouldn’t they have taken over by now?
November 6th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
#39, #44 #45 – Stop making me belly laugh!
It’s hard to laugh when you’re projectile vomiting.
: P
November 6th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
I now realize there are three people who read “Love Is”: the writer of Zits, Commodore John and myself.
Commodore John and myself have the good taste (and sense) to confine ourselves to prose interpretations of “Love Is.”
November 6th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
Luann – Um, since when are 23 y/o guys so coy about their sexploits? In reality, Brad wouldn’t hesitate to tell TJ that he’d just gotten an HJ from Toni.
Zits – The photo part isn’t nearly as bad as the posture that indicates she’s about to take it in the back door.
And speaking of taking it in the back door…did the people proofing Gilthorp take a vacation? I mean, these are normally people who take a moral stance on soft drink carton swimwear, but Daley is getting either mutilated, raped, or mutilated and raped in prison? Really?
November 6th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
# 35 Aviatrix, the Red Baroness:
My parents volunteer at an aquarium in my hometown. The male dolphins there were given little traffic-cone-like toys to play with—-like, to carry them around on their snouts and such. However, the dolphins decided it was much more fun to wear them…ahem…lower on their bodies. They usually did this when people were having weddings in front of the window of the dolphin tank.
Dolphins may be highly intelligent, but it seems their level of humor is clearly juvenile!
November 6th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
“And then suddenly… it’s that time.”
What’s that even mean? That Danny isn’t going through menopause?
November 6th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
GT: when you only have 3 panels per day, is it really a good idea to split them between two settings? Don’t these stories move slowly enough as it is?
Luann: Does TJ remind anyone else of a young, grinning version of Bea Arthur?
November 6th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
Well as John Hodgman said “Love is… a quasimental illness prompting the bizarre sexualization of genital-free infants in a daily cartoon strip”
Zits is just continuing the horrific tradition.
But as much as I enjoy the insane freakshow of neutered infants, I continue to be more befuddled by this weeks’ Shoe. On Tuesday my mind tried to bend around the realization that there are “bird”-birds inhabiting Shoe world. And that the “people”-birds call them birds, at least to set up hideously bad puns.
But today the cliche phrase “The birds and the bees” drops with no hint of irony.
Damn it, Casset they ARE frickin’ BIRDS? Am I right?
November 6th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
yMoly: Yes, cigars for me, but I like to share :-). And I’m open to recommendations as long as the cigar is strong enough to punish me immediately for inhaling.
November 6th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
Maybe folks will get angry enough to demand both “Zits” and “Love is” gone. I was foolishly hoping Zits would improve with Jeremy getting his Driver’s License.
This is why we lack actual good comics with some exceptions. Can you believe Annie is linking the Bush clan with the evil “Blue Circle?” …
November 6th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Continue right along. Don’t mind me. I’m just here to fix the plumbing.
November 6th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
GT — The one time I understand what’s going on in this strip, I wish I didn’t.
November 6th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
57. Perky Bird: do you think if you gave the dolphins socks, they’d do the same thing with them?
November 6th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
Josh, I am surprised.
You to snarkers, no word on Panel 2 of Mary Worth?
Maybe I just missed it?
~Crazy
November 6th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
ZITS — If it was Pierce who had dropped his tray and his anus was being photographed, I bet this strip wouldn’t have passed the censors. Or maybe it would. This strip has changed my entire understanding of media standards, and not in a good way.
November 6th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
# 65 bats :[
Wet socks would be hard to manipluate over certain appendages without the use of hands. But I bet if you gave the dolphins socks, they’d think, “Damn! What I wouldn’t give for a pair of hands and some opposible thumbs right now!”
November 6th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Oh Josh get with the program: all the kids are sexting these days. Besides, the “Love Is” characters have no genitalia.
November 6th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
#65 – Heh, I think The Red Hot Chili Peppers went on stage once with nothing to wear but socks – and not on their feet.
God, I love Flea.
November 6th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Crazy, I thought Jacob did a wonderful job on MW in #30.
November 6th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
MW – Now Adrian looks like Humpty Dumpty wearing a prince Valiant wig.
Zits – And to think people wrote in my newspaper complaining that Lio is too disturbing.
November 6th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Roz is interested in Skyler’s knowledge of sex because she prefers a lover who knows what he’s doing.
November 6th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
RE: Spiderman meta-comment: With a nod (and link) to our own Pope Josh, blogger and comic book fan Brian Hughes concludes that “Newspaper Comic Strip Spider-Man is the Worst Spider-Man of All.”
November 6th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
commodorejohn says:
“DT – I have to admit, today’s Dick Tracy has a sort of poetry to it that I kind of like. I think it says something that the gruesome death scenes are the most interesting parts of this strip.”
Well with a little changing it can be a haiku
The clown shot Fee Fi
Fee Fi then threw Mister Pops
Right into the cage
November 6th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Long ago the Tulsa World carried Love Is (I’m afraid they probably still do.) Even when I was a kid, I thought it was just insane that they were running a comic featuring naked cherubs defining love, or at least attempting to.
A few years later Zits came within the parameters of my radar, and I quickly grew calloused at the “antics” of this pampered teenager and his inexplicable contempt for his enabling parents.
Never in even my most wildly addled imagination would I have ever dreamed that anyone would put these two comics together and call it funny. Unless, of course, the joke in Zits is, “It’s great to take a picture of your girlfriend’s bare ass because this jerkwad doesn’t follow the rules anyway.”
I guess the joke is, the picture will be of a bare mannequin’s ass and Jeremy is the new Andrew McCarthy.
November 6th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
All they had to do was draw Jeremy on the left side of the frame, and it would have been 100% clean. How did that get past the editor?
November 6th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
#56 Old School Allie Cat –
Unless he figured TJ would go running to Mommie and snitch in hopes of catching another glimpse of her in the bathtub.
Shit! I need some Brutal Strength Brain Bleach!
November 6th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
New arrivals to the prison in GT must be pretty infrequent, if we’re only up to prisoner #7117 by 2009. Which helps explain what is going on with the back of prisoner #3128’s head.
He arrived at the prison before humans had fully descended from their Ape ancestors.
November 6th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
Back when I was much younger, I used to go skydiving fairly regularly. Today’s Dick Tracy brought back memories of those times. In the 3rd panel, Mr. Pops is in a pretty good free-fall position, and he even looks like he’s wearing a jumpsuit.
And I probably had a very similar look on my face – minus the clown makeup, of course – on one jump when my main parachute took an excruciatingly long time to deploy.
November 6th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
Does anyone else find it hilarious for someone to say “Hey! Watch out!” during a prison riot? Is there really a guy in prisons who worries about the safety protocols of these moments? “Watch out, that shiv could really cut somebody!” “Be careful, gouging his eye with your dinner fork might cause some unsafe splatter on the floor here! “Slow down buddy, anal penetration without a condom is just asking for an STD!”
November 6th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
#78 – True, are you going to see the new Clooney / Goat movie soon?
It looks like a real hoot.
More fainting goats, mules! : )
November 6th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
DT: Mmmmmmm, Tiger Chow.
MT: Mmmmmmm, Gator Chow.
(BTW: I mentioned this yesterday but now I can see that Fee Fi was standing on about a two inch wide steel strip…holding a feet-kicking, gun-wielding adult clown. Pretty good balance for a guy who also changed from the X-men’s Colossus to WWE’s Big Show overnight.)
Phantom: Quit moping and go out and kick some ass stripy-pants!
November 6th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
WHERE’S ANDY? I demand that Andy come to the rescue! Only Andy has the requisite smarts to deal with poachers, puppies in danger, raw chocolate chip cookie dough dogs, Rusty in danger, low SAT scores, Mark in danger, Kelly Welly’s foolishness, global warming, Cherry in danger, the economy, shot Scott’s injuries, illegal dumping, chained raccoons on logs in danger, deer overpopulation, Bucky in danger, and a host of other societal ills.
Look, the Phantom is moping around, and Andy hasn’t been seen in weeks. Something’s got to give.
November 6th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
Well I guess it is possible to compare Adrian to Prince Valiant today (Batman Beatles @72). Good job.
Thanks for throwing something out to reward my mousing search, True Fable.
kallista@61 Well that’s cool. I have a box of Macanudo Robustos I’m going thru right now. Strongest thing I’ve had in a while is a Camacho Triple Maduro, so I don’t really have anything too outrageous to recommend. Dig a chick who smokes cigars though.
November 6th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
Hi Mudges! Long time, no post! But today’s Post-Gazette has a letter to the editor that just had to be shared:
http://community.post-gazette.com/blogs/openletters/archive/2009/11/06/not-so-funny.aspx?CommentPosted=true#commentmessage
I commented on it under one of my other screen names (VAdame.)
November 6th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
#9 AFKAB:
“Archie: Of course the itching is worst on Jughead’s wiener. That’s just how sympathetic he is.”
I haven’t actually read today’s Archie, but it couldn’t possibly make your take on it read any funnier. :)
November 6th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
#25 bats :[ – “Songs from the Big Hair”, bravo! Very nice.
November 6th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
MW: Well, I guess the Mary Worth auteurs have found their material for the next four or five days: “No, you’re the miracle!” “No, silly,you are!” They can just sit back and sip potato-ade while the checks roll in and the rest of us gag on our cereal.
And the miracle, of course, is that Adrian’s face in panel two has not caused Scott to leap up and run screaming from the room. He is flinching away and grimacing, but you’re a braver man than I, Defective Scott!
DtM: You’re right, Alice! Damn those libraries and their need to retain their relevancy in a time shrinking budgets and fewer readers!
Zits: I haven’t read “Love Is” in years, but I’m not sure that matters; it’s not as if it’s evolved into new, edgy directions, dabbling in, say, avant-garde cuteness or cutting-edge, po-mo insipidness.
105 bats:[ —The Style Invitational is a big deal! You deserve many congratulations!
158 MolyBendum: Did you feel that?
November 6th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
You know, there’s times when the classic pyramidal composition is just TOO WRONG to use. Zits, why didn’t you just flip Sara and have the bonus of enabling her to GLARE at Jeremykins?
No, not flip her THAT WAY……Geez, the language of graphic arts has its graphic moments, don’t it? Let’s not get into PMS colors…
November 6th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
Just like how you can rearrange any number of Gil Thorp characters and not notice the difference, you could replace those inmates with football players and none would be the wiser. It would probably still look like GT’s version of football, too.
November 6th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
GT – considering what appears to have developed on Danny Daley’s chin, he’s likely to be the most popular guy in the joint, for the foreseeable future.
November 6th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
MW: I would like to see a cross-over in which Adrian meets the original Prince Valiant. I don’t think Adrian is really a good match for Detective Scott, but she would be a perfect bride for Nudder, Bup, and/or Ig.
November 6th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
#82 Calico – Oh, you BET I am! It will have GOATS! I will go see it just as soon as the movie house here in Greater Metropolitan Roopville sees fit to stop showing its seasonal round of horror movies and start showing something interesting.
With goats.
The thing is, I will be hard pressed to not get kicked out for yelling out “GOAT!” when you-know-what-adorable-creatures show up on the screen. I do that now when we watch television, and I caused one unwitting guest to slosh her drink when that Thero-gesic commercial came on. Which is a commercial featuring goat emotional abuse, but that is a rant for another time.
You may think I’m kidding, but it’s true that I yelped GOAT during a movie once, and my companion turned to me and asked, “How the hell do you even notice goats during a movie?” The answer, of course, was, Goat radar, my dear.”
#85 Moly Bendum – Only too happy to oblige!
November 6th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
when i saw today’s Zits my jaw dropped. how did that go through unnoticed?!?!
November 6th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
I can’t wait for the tiger in Dick Tracy to ask, “Does this taste funny to you?”
November 6th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
Moly: A couple of evenings ago, I bought a handful of cigars I’ve never smoked before, and one is a Macanudo Hampton Court. I haven’t tried it yet. Will it be wimpy? Hey, I inadvertently made a comics reference! I like Romeo y Julietas, but that is probably the English teacher in me. Maybe I’ll smoke my Macanudo after aeronautics class tonight in honor of faraway sexy smart men who dig chicks like me :-).
November 6th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Love is never forcing your readers to see something like that again.
November 6th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
24: The editors? They were mugged by a fluffy cat and a guard duck.
November 6th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
Re: Luann…I can’t for the life of me figure out what happened in Luann. If Brad nailed Toni (or got ANY kind of action from her), why is he acting all guilty to his buddy? Wouldn’t he be crowing about his first rush, or whatever?
Perhaps he feels bad about accidentally broking her neck trying to take a cellphone pic of her taint?
I don’t get it.
November 6th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
Jesus Christ, could that waitress be coming on any harder? She’d have to do a mating to be anymore obvious. Which would make sense because she’s a fucking bird.
November 6th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
Zits: Lighten up, people. After all, instead of Jeremy and Sara, it could have been Walt and Connie.
November 6th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
93, seismic-2
True genius is when you bap yourself on the forehead and mutter, “of course! Why didn’t I think of that!?”
Me hat is off in awe and reverence.
November 6th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
103 was me.
November 6th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
I think this is the about the best thing EVER. Just when you think the comics can’t get weirder, they get weirder.
I’m going to blow that Zits up to poster size, and put it in my foyer to greet visitors.
November 6th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
I guess it will slowly dawn on everyone that there are no censorious editorial eyes on the comics anymore – they fired, laid off, bought-out most of them and those remaining are too overworked to give a rat’s ass about the comics page.
Let the wild rumpus start!
November 6th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
#102 – Or Mary and Dr. Jeff.
#89 – I don’t know if you intended to say “Defective Scott”, but it works out really well, deliberate or otherwise.
#94 – I thought the Theragesic ad was funny.
I also enjoyed the Telus goaty ads.
November 6th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
Are we sure Gil Thorpe’s school even has wi-fi? Do they know it exists?
November 6th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
Jumper, I think the “Rumpus” initially started with that bum shot in Duncanland.
November 6th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
#105 – Oh, so that was the “art, of a sort” that so impressed Delilah during her visit to Charterstone Charlie’s crib.
November 6th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
Phantom: Kit Walker got married in his purple superhero outfit. That is hard core.
It also proves that he was indeed lucky to find Diana and is right to mourn her loss; accomplished, educated career women with that kind of a specific fetish don’t come along every day.
And generally speaking, while I will gladly defer to Fashion Police on this, it was always my implicit understanding that the “something blue” at your wedding should not be your own hair.
JP: Sam Driver, Unethical Fixer gets the job done whether it’s white collar crime mixed with murder or spoiled and emotionally stunted celebrity marriages. Get this man a goofy outfit and he’s a more dynamic superhero than Spiderman.
November 6th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
Apparently readers in the Rock River Valley in Illinois were incensed over the “Zits” Love is … parody and the editor of the region’s Leading Information Source, the Rockford Register Star, contacted King Features. For those of you wondering how the strip got past the censors, the newspaper today ran a response from the King Features comics editor:
http://blogs.e-rockford.com/editorsnote/2009/11/06/the-clothes-are-back-on/
November 6th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
By the way, that paper apparently PULLED the naked-cherub “Zits” strips, or tried to, and for some reason it thinks the naked cherubs are the parents, not Jeremy and Sarah.
November 6th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
107 Calico: Credit where it’s due: I think that Niall wrote “Defective Scott” as a typo some time ago, but it was a fortuitous one—especially now that he’s back and even more defective than ever!
November 6th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
Today I learned the slang meaning of “taint.” Another day, another visit to CC, another blown brain cell.
November 6th, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Next week’s comics are up already and:
SPOILER ALERT!
JP Next Week: Sexy wife. Wealthy man murdered.
Didn’t I remember seeing that plotline from last year?
November 6th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
Zits: Thank God I’ve been given some anti-nausea medication. It was definitely needed after reading that strip.
November 6th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
FC: Now that Ovechkin is day-to-day, it looks like Billy is ready to take up the slack.
November 6th, 2009 at 5:53 pm
#102 & #107: Or Sarge and Beetle.
November 6th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
I like that Roz feels the need to remind the Perfesser of his nephew’s name, or alternately, that the youngster he looks after is a relative. Either way, it’s all you need to know about his parenting skills.
November 6th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
113 Comcis Fan: Nice.
I think the message from the good folks at KFS is: Grow up ya whining bastards. Just go with the flow like the Curmudgeons.
November 6th, 2009 at 6:03 pm
re Zits (again): It’s just another reminder of a strange society that permits the movie “300″ to be aired decapitations and disembowlings intact without any protest while an implied threesome between the characters on a teen-oriented sitcom brings down the Wrath of the Heavens. And God help us if American TV ever showed a naked woman in anything other than a National Geographic show on the women of the Amazon.
November 6th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
elrod you have no guts all your stories are stupid . if you had any nerve you would andy there instead of sassy .i only read this drivel hoping to see andy and hes not been seen in like 2 months.
November 6th, 2009 at 6:13 pm
That Luann was a blast from the past, alright.
Who knew all she had to do to keep Aaron from trying to go all the way was to show up naked in his bedroom, saying “Take me! Take me! Oh God! Take me!” and then later at 1 am try to crawl into bed with him.
No one abstinence method is right for everyone. What worked for Luann may not work for you. Discuss this with your parents and responsible school officials before it becomes an issue. Waiting is even sexier than Luann!
November 6th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
#112 Comcis Fan: Great link! It made me realize how truly wonderful I find ZITS on a daily basis. I’m proud to relate to, laugh with, and be touched by it.
But…why are they naked?
November 6th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
Note to bats :[ : I love when you “Nom nom nom” Jeff. That’s so lol-ly!
November 6th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
The problem with the Zits cartoon is that is how I always thought the Keane kids looked fully nekkid, which was bad enough, now I have to deal with this….and of course pantsless Ziggy.
November 6th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
I suspect that the Gil Thorp author once heard the phrase “minimum-security prison” without any context and immediately decided it must refer to the most dark and severe prisons on the scale. Look, who wouldn’t want to be as secure as possible?
November 6th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
“I was just showing her where the bathroom is.” Apparently Toni got sick the first time she saw Brad naked. Can’t say I blame her.
November 6th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
Zits – Considering how long we’ve been waiting for Jeremy and Sarah to get naked together, this week is a profound disappointment.
November 6th, 2009 at 7:05 pm
122/Uncle Jeff – not only that, but homoerotic decapitations and disembowelings to boot. As for naked women on TV, thank god for HBO. I’ve still got a warm feeling from watching the first season of “Rome.”
November 6th, 2009 at 7:05 pm
#112: I’d like to add my thanks for the link as well. Speaking seriously for a moment, today’s “Zits” strip is good for a double-take and a “WTF?” chuckle, but folks somewhere are working themselves into a moral outrage about it? Man, please!
November 6th, 2009 at 7:05 pm
It could be worse. It could be Sarge and Beetle instead of Jeremy and Sara
November 6th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
I can see Jeremy’s friends looking disappointed at the YouTube video. “Hey, it’s just one girl! And she spilled the cup!”
November 6th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
133 — Dean Booth, paging Dr. Dean Booth…
November 6th, 2009 at 7:12 pm
#132 Just shows that warped ‘mudges and prudes in Rockford, Illinois, have minds that swim in the same gutter!
November 6th, 2009 at 7:18 pm
What army rank is signified by a piece of popcorn?
November 6th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
More and more I feel like Gil Thorp is created by picking random panels out of a drawer and just pasting them together and sending it out.
November 6th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
Zits: Here’s one for Dingo (and all the Johnnie Malotte fans out there).
November 6th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
137. zerowolf: a colonel?
November 6th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
TJ just need to grow a pornstache and become the next Ron Jeremy. but without the sense of humor or likeability.
November 6th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
So… are the Love Is couple the larval forms of Barbie and Ken?
November 6th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
137 zerowolf: I think that’s the WalkerCo stylized version of an oak leaf signifying the rank of Major.
139 Red Greenback. Ho Ho Ho (done as one of the Frenchmen in Monty Python)
November 6th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Josh, re: Shoe: Yes, Perfessor, there are bee-people. However, they ceased to exist after Lorne Michaels stopped thinking they were funny (or once Belushi got his way), sometime around 1977.
A3G: “…like Margo says, when all else fails, go shallow.”
Between FOOBs: And she doesn’t like to be fooled, either. I saw it in a commercial from the ’70s.
Blondie: Better than calling Emily “Rachel”. I saw it in a sitcom from the ’90s.
Cranky: In Batiukland, a season-and-a-half-long blizzard is the only way to spend this time of year.
DtM: The Electronic Age The Menace (in the mom’s opinion)
GA: Doing a dreadful “joke”, then self-snarking, does not excuse the “joke”.
November 6th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
#139 Red, #143 UncleJeff –
Yes indeed: heaux, heaux, heaux!
Man, I loves me some Johnny Malotte.
November 6th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
You know, I remember discovering “Zap” comics way back in my college days. After reading S. Clay Wilson’s stuff, nothing about today’s “Zits” strip could faze me in the least. Except maybe, as Joe Blevins pointed out at #36, the “hideous clown/suckerfish mouths” on the women characters. I gotta agree there. Those would send Wilson himself screaming into the night.
November 6th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
GT: Having a fight with a giant fist is not a very good idea, Danny…
MT: “Fellows”?? Say “fellahs”, idiot, or they’ll be on to you, Bob….
Mutts: You mean like Phillip J. Fry’s old dog? (Now THAT was sad without being cloying and agenda-driven)
MW: The worst phrase in all of soppy soapdumb: “You showed me how to love again”. YECCCHHH!!
PBS: Pibgorn — YOU’RE NEXT!
Ghost-Who-Keeps-Shortsightedly-Presuming: Worst groom attire ever!
Popeye: Even Al Gore is going, “Oh, come ON!!”
Ziggy: Now THAT’s what I call “cutting out the middleman”!
November 6th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
Holy christ, that Zits. Oh my god. I have no idea how that possibly got past the obviously rigorous censors that preside over the comic pages.
November 6th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
ZITS — Her mouth is wider than her ass. It’s bigger than her ass. Okay, now I’m creeped out.
November 6th, 2009 at 9:35 pm
My main concern about panel 2 of todays (11/6/09) Mary Worth is that it is remarkibly similar to the second panel of 10/29/09 Mary Worth
Like somebody just pasted a valiant-like adrian onto a “dead scott” backdrop.
…..
Does remembering this make me a bigger geek than usual?
~Crazy
November 6th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
ONE BIG HAPPY — I still say… Ah, forget it. If Detorie can’t concede that his drawing style has gotten careless and sloppy, why should I bother to repeat myself?
Good question. Anybody who cares about this, just compare some current strips with some in the older collections.
That’s all I have to say about it, I promise. For a while.
November 6th, 2009 at 9:59 pm
Luann: Having TJ as a chaperone between Brad and Toni is like Dick Tracy giving a lecture on due process and excessive force.
Zits: ( shudder) ….i’m never having sex again.
November 6th, 2009 at 10:09 pm
MW — I was staring at Second-Panel Adrian and trying to figure out why her expression was haunting me and where I’d seen it before, and then it came to me. With horror. I have a series of old STEVE CANYON strips in which Poteet is young, and there’s one panel in which…gaah…she looks like Second-Panel Adrian. A lot. I am going to really, really try to erase that from my mind, starting now.
November 6th, 2009 at 10:11 pm
9CL: Okay, are Thorax and the hot brunette telepathic or something?
Doonesbury: Okay, I don’t watch much TV , if at all. Who’s Charlie?
Gasoline Alley: I haven’t seen a graveyard scene drag on this much since Buffy ran into a former classmate turned therapist/vampire and got some free therapy before staking him.
Mary Worthless: ….and we have internal hemmorhaging. No, not Scott, he’s gonna be fine. I meant anyone reading this.
Judge Parker: Yeah, maybe Abbey and Godiva can talk about this in the hottub. The warm, hot….sweet….hottub.
November 6th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
Apt. 3-G – Here Tommie is actually weeping real tears of anguish and despair, and Margo isn’t there to taste them. Man, is she going to be pissed when she finds out.
November 6th, 2009 at 10:17 pm
154 Jamus: I don’t watch talk shows, but I think it’s Charlie Rose.
November 6th, 2009 at 10:19 pm
I can’t fully blame Zits. I am so creeped out by Love Is that I call it the Anticomic. Even comics that I don’t particularly like can be called comics. Not Love Is. It’s just terrifying.
November 6th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
156. I think you’re right, thanks buckyswife. The only thing I watch regularly these days is Venture Brothers.
November 6th, 2009 at 10:40 pm
And now it’s time to play “Nice Try, But…”
Nice try, Dick Tracy, but slipping in a Vertigo homage is not going to save this story now.
Nice try, Mary Worth, but letting a
talentedthird-grader draw the second panel is not going to save this story now.Nice try, Mark Trail, but throwing Sassy to the gators is not…well, OK, maybe you’re on to something there.
November 6th, 2009 at 10:53 pm
=v= Luann: The earlier abstinence-promotion entry had a comment with a link to a whole bunch of health leaflets. My favorite is easily one called STD: Don’t Risk It. Despite the description that it’s “non-explicit,” it does feature Knute calling out Gunther for, um, “drilling” a stack of books.
November 6th, 2009 at 10:56 pm
My Cage: “Weeping my, dot dot dot”? Aw, c’mon, Bridget, you live in a furry world! Just say “weeping my tail off”.
November 6th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
Can’t believe I’m saying this, but..
the Nov 3 run of Shoe features a bird bath,
of comparatively normal-sized birds
using it in the background of actual bird people.
November 6th, 2009 at 11:30 pm
110: nice memory ref!
115: *snurk*
November 6th, 2009 at 11:34 pm
161: just a furry girl, in a furry world. . . . .
November 6th, 2009 at 11:56 pm
I am hugely disappointed and alarmed that the Zits author thinks you can post pornography on Youtube.
November 7th, 2009 at 12:10 am
Zits: I’m guessing Jerry Scott and Jim Borgman were looking at all the other comic strips making fun of comic strips, like “Pearls Before Swine”, “Lio”, and so on, and said to each other, “Let’s do that too!”
But, well, you’ve seen the results. Making fun of other strips: You’re Doing It Wrong!
November 7th, 2009 at 12:18 am
166. Thanks, Beverly! I’ll be thinking of you when I’m chowing down on my turbriskgefilt.
November 7th, 2009 at 12:21 am
168 bats:[ —Your $31.19 turbriskegefilt.
November 7th, 2009 at 12:27 am
169. (st)b: no, substantially less than that. You didn’t figure in the cost of the Potato-Ade, the Murlow and the Salmon Square appetizers.
November 7th, 2009 at 12:31 am
170 bats :[ —You’re right! Because it wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without oddly colored foodstuffs!
(It just occurred to me that your traditional sweet-potato & marshmallow dish is precisely the color of Jeff Cory’s “goin’ to the hospital” jacket.)
November 7th, 2009 at 1:00 am
Am I the only one who thinks “Zits” is sending up the inherent creepiness of “Love Is” by using a deliberately iffy context? Roughly 97% of webcomics have made deliberately crude satires of existing strip comics that are wildly out of touch. Half of the stories and/or mock-ups posted here on CC about various cartoonists and their creations are R-rated.
Now, I’m not saying “Zits” is funny. I’ve never paid much attention to it and I don’t find this strip particularly good. I’m just wondering why there’s such an outcry because “Zits” was shown in dead tree format, when if it was on the Internet in pretty pixels many people wouldn’t have thought much about it.
November 7th, 2009 at 1:08 am
And now I feel like an idiot for posting, because I interrupted the best exchange ever between bats and sic transit. Sorry! I shall buy everyone a free round of Murlow in repentance.
November 7th, 2009 at 1:12 am
What exactly is the target auidence for Zits? The parents are overreacting idiots and Jeremy is a stupid slob. I just don’t get the appeal.
November 7th, 2009 at 1:13 am
Jenkins Rintoo Oh my God! You have totally saved Thanksgiving. Without a juicy, golden, boneless Turbriskefilt, the holidays mean nothing. $31.19? Eat my dust, members!
Chump Change: I can cadge that much during morning rush hour at the Quick Stop.
November 7th, 2009 at 1:16 am
Some Saturday observations:
MT: Agent Tik-Tik knows only too well the peril that Sassy is in! He prepares to move out and contact his superiors (after catching that tasty crawdad).
MW: maybe a real doctor will come in and tell Adrian that Scott needs to rest, not blather on about the same “I missed you” “I’m so lucky” “No, I’m luckier” crapola.
Phantom: gee, you live in a cave in the shape of a skull. When did this little epiphany fall on you, Kit?
Anyway, why is this place “bad” for you and the kids? I don’t recall Skull Cave being blown up when Diana was in it.
RMMD: it might be extortion, but “blackmail” is such an ugly term…
November 7th, 2009 at 1:28 am
No. 137, Zerowolf: The buttered popcorn would be the rank of major, which is in real life a gold oak leaf, as drawn by a bad or lazy artist.
An unbuttered oak leaf, silver in real life, would be lieutenant kernel.
Yeah, don’t tell me you didn’t expect that one.
November 7th, 2009 at 1:49 am
Stupid spam removed at #166; comment numbers from there to here are off by 1.
November 7th, 2009 at 1:49 am
@ #50
re: John Hodgman, and off topic, but is there anybody who wouldn’t rather hang out with Hodgman’s PC character as opposed to that douchebag hipster shmuck who plays Mac? even if you’re a Mac fanboy that guy is insufferable while PC comes across as more of an everyman.
November 7th, 2009 at 1:52 am
11/7 MW — Scott, you’re a smart man. It’s a lot easier to contemplate marrying Adrian if you never actually look at her.
November 7th, 2009 at 1:54 am
# 177 Uncle Lumpy — Yay!
November 7th, 2009 at 1:59 am
So wait, “Jenkins Rintoo” wasn’t legitimately concerned about how much I am spending at the grocery store?
I’m hurt.
November 7th, 2009 at 2:04 am
Remember that Zits wasn’t the first strip to explore this territory. There is a precedent, and here’s another.
November 7th, 2009 at 2:30 am
133 & 135, zerowolf and Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol, and Y15, UncleJeff: Here ya go.
November 7th, 2009 at 2:39 am
A3G — If Tommie is their ideal, the show should be called “I Dressed While Weeping.”
# 183 Dean Booth — Bwahaha!
November 7th, 2009 at 3:09 am
11/7:
A3G: WE did. Only Pony-tailed Margo didn’t.
Lockhorns: see also: Blondie, Beetle Bailey, Dennis the Menace, Zits…
RMMD: Be fair, people — Punky McBaldy couldn’t find a talk show host, so he’s stuck with grandma and grandpa…..
….9CL: P McB is lucky, though — he could‘ve been stuck with these two!
Cranky: Great, now the old bastard is ruining alliteration, too!
DT: Ye Gods, Pops is floating!
ReFOOB: Where was Liz when Mikey was writing that awful book? She was being a baby at the time, so age was no excuse.
Garfield, featuring Odie: HIS TONGUE IS BIGGER THAN HIS TORSO!! WHERE DOES ITGO???
GA: It’s Walt: “Help! It’s been too long! Lemme outta this furshlugginer strip!!”
FW: Christ, what a Les Moore!
GT: Danny: “Well, you don’t have to be happy about it, Duncan!”
JP: Roger Daltry really sells it, doesn’t he?
Zits: Love Isn’t… Guys being grunting dimbulbs & ladies being intollerant chatterboxes. Love isn’t stereotyping.
S-M: His OWN FATHER?? Wow, that’s really tragic!
MT: Yeah, you’re all heart, Sideburns.
November 7th, 2009 at 3:23 am
Panel 1 of My Cage is brought to you by: TV News Stories About Obesity.
TV News Stories About Obesity ™ :
Where you get to be smug and gross at the same time.
November 7th, 2009 at 3:43 am
To Anonymous @178 — Of COURSE PC Guy is more sympathetic than the Mac guy. That’s the real genius of the ads. You don’t envy Slacker McCool, you sympathize with Everyman and his sad lovable Sisyphean task of being chained to the PC. And you root for him to get a Mac so he can kick Slacker McCool’s ass off the pristine white screen.
November 7th, 2009 at 6:11 am
I don’t know why everyone is acting like Shoe is so creepy. I learned about the birds & the bees by having my elderly uncle pin me down long enough, and I turned out fine. In fact, I go out of my way to introduce myself to all my new neighbors every time I move.
November 7th, 2009 at 7:18 am
MW: “your lips say yes yes but your face says – Oh death were is thy sting?”
FW: Les is busy working on his next book “The complete prick”
November 7th, 2009 at 7:32 am
11/7 MW:
Scott: “I’m glad you still want to marry me, Adrian. Especially since I just got all my genitalia shot off by the bad guys.”
Adrian: “I always did. There was never any question. It was just a matter of time. If they hadn’t shot off your nasty, nasty man parts, living with me would have shriveled them off eventually.”
November 7th, 2009 at 8:50 am
MT: OMG, Sassy’s been chained to a putative log! *
Or perhaps these perps are amusing themselves by staging an impromptu Sassy vs. Gator chain match. If so, Sassy’s (chocolate) chips are all on the table now.
*And if they chopped it down, double shame on them. Putatives are an endangered species, widely poached in order to distill illicit putative-ade.
November 7th, 2009 at 9:00 am
Ziggy: “Here’s your problem. It’s 2009, and you have a carburetor.”
November 7th, 2009 at 9:19 am
Crock ”You’ll be gone for weeks with no hope of returning” is a stupider statement than the premise that someone could get into the Foreign Legion and not know the meaning of the word “suicide”.
Dennis ”D’ya think we’ll ever get married, Dennis?”
“That’s up to the voters and the state legislatures, Joey, but we can hope.”
“That’s the most menacing thing you’ve ever said, Dennis.”
Gil Thorp Oh, it’s a minimum-security day camp for adults! Now I get it. I thought it was a prison at first.
Mark Trail So let me go out on a limb and predict some of next week’s dialogue:
“Mark! Sassy’s gone!”
“I think I hear barking coming from this way!”
“There’s another shot, Mark!”
“Sassy’s tied to that log!”
I don’t think we’ll get to any punching until the week after that.
Pluggers Hey, Pluggers are disloyal. How very undoglike.
Spiderman I actually had a dream last night that I was in the shower and Bigshot came in and stole my shower curtain. He was very smug about it as he did it. I don’t know what that means, but it bothers me.
November 7th, 2009 at 9:20 am
Sunday ReFoob Advisory: Tomorrow’s strip is a bland outing that has Mike explaining how a thunderstorm works to Lizzie; insert joke about Elly not doing much better despite being twenty-five years older here.
Sunday Funky WInkerbean: The characters point out that Westview High School,s football team is known statewide for always being easy to beat. In other words, lather, rinse, repeat.
November 7th, 2009 at 9:21 am
Luann: Toni’s little freudian slip clenches it. Brad waxed that ass proper….and in 10 minutes no less.
November 7th, 2009 at 9:38 am
Aaaah, I see Adrian is giving Scott a hand job in panel one. Is that the recommended treatment for coma recovery these days? Or is she just checking that all his sex parts are still there…
November 7th, 2009 at 10:02 am
Gee, isn’t he a little young to have … ZITS?
November 7th, 2009 at 10:03 am
Serious comment: There sadly seems to come a time in most comics when the author has run out of ideas and the strip becomes unreadable. That has happened with nearly all of my favorite comics, and I had to quit reading them. It happened with Cathy (yes, it was once worth reading–many years ago), with Rose is Rose, with Get Fuzzy and many others. It happened to Zits a while ago, but I kept hoping it was just an aberration. “Love Isn’t” proves that Zits too has jumped the shark. Thank the comic gods for Doonesbury and Mutts, which are still wonderful. IMHO, of course.
November 7th, 2009 at 10:09 am
@193 MolyBendum: re GT, worse yet, Danny’s ended up in La Quinta Hospital in Santa Royale. Jesus, take me now before Mary walks through the door.
And re S-M: Inquiring minds want to know. Was TJ peeking?
November 7th, 2009 at 10:31 am
watch out for the little mousies!
Dunesberry Rachel Maddow makes the comics pages!
Children of the Circle Jeffy and Mike Patterson must be bestest of friends! That explains soooo much…
Canadian Zombie Elly is too stupid to wait until she fills her kids with NyQuil and booze to put them to sleep as usual, before she writes to her mother.
Funky Whinerbean Mr. Moore is priming for a beatdown.
WTF GT Oh yeah; teenagers can go visit cons in the hospital without a single guard in sight; they do it all the time!
Generic Pair oh My God it’s gonna EXPLODE!!
Scenes from Suburban Hell Our tax dollars at work: standing around letting kids play in leaf piles because I’m on the city clock, I get paid by the hour and don’t give a shit how long he takes!
Sam Driver, Inexplicable Chick Magnet Now we’re finally getting to the high spot of the year: Sam’s annual seduction-without-sex-with the hot sexy guest star woman.
Bradann “The Brad is yummy”. Yeah, I don’t think I’ll be trying to use that phrase any time soon.
Fist O Justice Quick, Giant Raccoon! Go tell Mark that Sassy’s in trouble! Oh hell – just tell Andy. Mark will only smile and talk about the playful nature of puppies, like some sort of deranged Marlin Perkins.
Marmadick Nothing like taking along the bones of your conquered former neighbors as a light snack!
Mary, Bringer of Meddle Poor Scott. Look at him rolling his eyes as he says the expected line in panel two. Now he’ll spend the rest of his life volunteering for every dangerous mission until the sweet release of death.
Kit Walker, Widowed Ranger We have MONTHS of this bullshit to go. I wouldn’t mind usually, but damn it, he didn’t even stick around to find out if she’s really dead or not. If we find eight months from now that Diana returns as he’s screwing his umpteenth Jungle Patrolless, I won’t be a bit surprised.
November 7th, 2009 at 10:39 am
199 EE – Nah, if TJ had been in it too I would’ve had to find a closet here, get inside and really think about things.
I think Mary’d be a great addition to the Gil Thorp cast. Or maybe just throw a wig on Gil. Hmmmm, where was that closet…
November 7th, 2009 at 10:41 am
November 7, 2009
So, I comes down to the water I does. Need to wash paws after stuffing that beaver all afternoon. Ah, beaver. A good raccoon knows that a party doesn’t start ’til you bring out the beaver and give everyone a turn stuffing it. Mort and Sal and Bruno had gone off to look for garbage cans to tip but I needed some hygiene hijinks. So, I comes down to the water and what do I see? Three of them humans with a leetle leetle dog. Chained to a tree like Jon Voigt. Suddenly, I flashes back to my cousin Roscoe, fighting for his life while chained to a log. I snap. The next thing I know, I’m standing over the bodies of three bloodied men lying on the ground with a sharpened stick in my hand. I dropped it. Ran as fast as I could.
They never find me.
November 7th, 2009 at 10:59 am
Today’s Luann 11/07/09
Later during dinner…,
TJ: “WHAT!?! ‘Brad TASTED Yummy???’ TONI! Are you ACTUALLY telling Me You GAVE Brad a Blow-Jjjjj….., aghhhhhh!”
Toni: “Brad, TJ’s fainted!”
Brad: “FAINTED? I think he’s DEAD! Must’ve died of SHOCK over TRYING to contemplate what you and I supposedly DID while he was out shopping.”
Toni” “Well, FINALLY! I thought he’d NEVER LEAVE!”
Brad: “Me NEITHER! But NOW that he’s GONE, You can finally GAVE Me a Blow-Jjjjj!”
_____________________
Well, I’m SATISFIED!!!
November 7th, 2009 at 11:05 am
Luann – Looks like Brad got a BJ. About time.
November 7th, 2009 at 11:23 am
DT – That poor tiger is clearly thinking how he is not paid enough for this humiliation.
FC – The fish’s expression…dear God, that fish looks like it has been touched in a very, very unsettling way.
FW – Ha ha! Les is an asshole who purposefully deceives his students for his own amusement! Ha ha ha!
Love Is… – going to turn into a flower.
Luann – AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH
MT – Luckily, Agent Sneaky is on the case!
MW – “It was only a matter of time before I caved in to Mary’s Will completely.”
RMMD – It’s not extortion, he’s not keeping them there. He’s just putting a price on the information you want. And besides, you ought to be happy to pay if it’ll keep your gross negligence covered up.
SF – Okay, I take it back. I like where this is going.
SM – Big Shot sucks at quipping, even by Spider-Man standards.
November 7th, 2009 at 11:36 am
“Is it a good old-fashioned prison fight with improvised weapons, or good old-fashioned situational homosexuality?”
…Can’t it be both?
November 7th, 2009 at 11:56 am
C’shaft: I think Batiuk is deliberately making the “humor” in his strips as painfully unfunny as possible so readers will beg him to write more of the angsty, morose drama he’s so desperate to indulge in.
Curtis: Oddly enough, those are also the side effects of reading Curtis.
DT: So it’ll be what, another month before the tiger actually eats him?
FW: “That’s what you get for not being old and beaten down by life!”
Luann: Oh dear God NO….
MW: Judging by Scott’s positioning between panels, I think Adrian is playing with the bed controls. “Bed goes up, bed goes down, bed goes up, bed goes down…”
Zits: Three hundred words isn’t a question, it’s an essay. Also, isn’t it time to retire the “women like to talk and share feelings and crap and men don’t” joke? Every beer commercial in the past five years has used it; the humor, if it ever existed, is more than played out.
November 7th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
9CL – Swell collection of old jokes, but you forgot “we need the eggs.”
AD – Yeah, Wiley and water are Just Like That.
Dick – “He is falling! Tomorrow at this time, he’ll be halfway down!” (They always fall faster the first couple of days.)
Gil – “Who jumped you?” “Mark somebody. Guy has a thing about beards.”
Judge – Introducing… the world’s crankiest GPS!
Luann – Whoops, there goes yesterday’s breakfast. (Man, I don’t even remember eating that.)
Non Seq – This doesn’t seem to follow.
Phantom – “Skull Cave was such a cheerful place! Now when I look at it, I’m unable to avoid gloomy and unhappy thoughts. So this is why people get sad when I kill their family members.”
Pluggers really do need steenking Badger shirts.
Prickly – In this case, bad things happen because the syndicate wanted another ‘conservative’ strip for ‘balance’ and ‘quality’ was no object.
November 7th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Anonymous @178 – Actually, I think the Mac guy in those ads has pulled off the amazing feat of not making me hate him. Yes, he’s a shill and a fake, but I feel that the actor has managed to convey an impression that he’s not a smug a-hole, but just reacting to John Hodgman (who is, of course, the interesting one of the pair). I think he’s shown himself to be an acceptable straight man.
True Fable @200 – Actually, Marlin Perkins would discuss Sassy’s plight in a way that manages to be 100% on-message: “As we’ve seen, being chained up in a gator-laden swamp doesn’t have much of a future. You can protect your future with a ‘no chains’ policy from Mutual of Omaha. Just watch this message…”
November 7th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
# 209 Muffaroo – LOL! O you who so deftly channel Marlin Perkins so masterfully, the ninja goats and I bow to you!
November 7th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
DT: 12 panels of Dick shouting exposition and counting… Can we just get to the mauling already? And is it too much to hope for the “Does this taste funny to you?” punchline from the tigers?
Luann: “No I was refering to your penis.”
PBS: I love Pig.
Crock: If there is no hope of returning he’ll be gone for more thank weeks right?
FW: Ha! Les is a prick!
SM: Looking at that gun I’d say “Bigshot” is overcompensating for something.
November 7th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
# 205 commodorejohn re DT — You are so right. This is the tiger’s last comic-strip gig, and he’s already fired his agent and taken up drinking.
November 7th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
MT — I actually think that chaining up a little dog as gator bait so the gators can be poached is a horrible thing to do. But thanks to MT, it has been reduced to banal entertainment, and of course we know the dog will be just fine.
If MT had been in charge of SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, I wouln’t have had to hold a pillow over my face and whimper. Instead, I could have had a nice snooze.
November 7th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
# 213 O Poteet, my queen! – Clarice would have been investigating why the lambs all got laryngitis, in Mark Trail’s world.
…which is still better than Rose is Rose, in which the lambs would have been smothered to death by an overabundance of hearts and roses and bubbles.
On the upside, Mark Trail could have gone punching Jimbo and no one would mind in the least.
November 7th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
# 213 — I meant “wouldn’t.” Sorry.
# 214 Sir Fable MTK — Hahahaha! Well put!
November 7th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
seismic-2 @110: My thoughts exactly. “Love is… art, of a sort”
zerowolf @137: Since it’s gold, the officer is most likely a major (here, have a DoD chart and a Wikipedia entry) and the ‘popcorn’ is an oak leaf.
November 7th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
I see the horribly malformed amoebas are back in Zits today.
Haha, Whole Foods is trying to infiltrate Hootin’ Holler!
FC – Frank, reincarnated.
November 7th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Before it changes…go to comics.com and check out the comic they have up on their main page while they’re doing some maintenance work.
November 7th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Zits: Gotta hand it to the authors. If they’ve got a concept, they’re gonna stick to it.
I wonder how many red state newspapers have pulled this week’s strips.
November 7th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
RE: In defense of Luann. Come on, people. 90% of the posters here have been complaining for months how frustrating and unrealistic it is that Brad and Toni hadn’t had sex yet. Now when it happens, people are whining “ooh gross.” Make up your minds.
November 7th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
LUANN — I don’t know what happened and I don’t want to know. But given the long years of buildup, I would think that The First Sexual Congress between Brad and Toni would be something more than a quickie while TJ was buying onions for his apparently-badly-made risotto. I don’t know how to make risotto, but I trust the previous comments from the Mudges who do. If there was sex, and if it was as inept as the risotto, I especially don’t want to know about it.
November 7th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Next horrible crossover – Love Is and Pluggers.
November 7th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
@129 UncleJeff says: “I wonder how many red state newspapers have pulled this week’s strips.”
Well, according to the link posted by @112 Comcis Fan, Brendan Burford (comics editor for King Feature) says the following in his form reply:
“To my knowledge, out of the 1,600+ newspapers that ZITS appears in, your readers are the only ones who have had such a problem with the depiction. That said, these complaints don’t always reach my desk.”
“That said”. Heh. Heh.
November 7th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
107. Calico and 114. (sic transit) buckyswife: Looks like it’s true – here’s where I made the “defective” misreading and attributed it to Scott. Later on, however, is where (sic transit) made the actual appellation “Defective Scott”, so I’d say she has shared credit…
November 7th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
I don’t think it’s gross that Brad and Toni may have had sex. I will, however, be miffed if it turns out that they haven’t even gotten to second or even first base yet because Mama DeGroot’s puritanical visage keeps popping up in Brad’s mind saying “But we raised you to be a right-thinking, All-American good boy who would never do something like having icky sex with a girl who doesn’t have our approval!”
To which I hope Brad thought, “Yeah, buzz off, Mom” and laid Toni anyhow.
November 7th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
….I gotta make that name decision……
SM: Today’s strip makes clear that “Big Shot” is an ironic appellation.
SForth: I believe I have just discovered the type of old lady I want to be some day.
Watch Your Head: Okay, what university do they go to? Because where I work, when students cheat, we don’t just grumble and fume; we fail their ass.
202 Dingo: Vengeful, bloodthirsty self-narrating raccoons—that’s entertainment!
November 7th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
221 “If there was sex, and if it was as inept as the risotto”
This phrase has such a wonderfuly strange poetry about it. thank you.
November 7th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
Zits: T’aint.
November 7th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
(st)b re 202. Dingo: I don’t know that it’s vengeance or unusual self-narration — seems like a simple noir genre.
“Forget it, Sneaky. It’s Lost Forest.”
A few later Saturday observations:
DT: finally showing the disdain that marks all members of the Family Felidae: the tiger is going to ignore the clown, preferring a tiny can of expensive gooshyfood. (Unless, of course, there’s now a “clown flavor” gooshyfood.)
November 7th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Poteet #221:
I’ve never made risotto. Yes, I’m gay but I only make rice. Minute rice, at that. I tend to admire a life lived uncomplicated, like a Bush administration truth commision. I do, however, know gay men who cook risotto. They make a production out of it. You could take in a Wagner Ring Cycle in less time than it takes them to make the risotto. This is partly due to cooking the risotto and greatly due to their non-stop talking about making the risotto as though they were about to bring Little Nell back from death’s door with one tiny spoonful. I surmise that in the time it took TJ to make the risotto, Brad was able to commence with extreme foreplay, giving Toni both oral and tactile pleasures, leading to her stimulating his manhood with delicate fellatio, followed by Brad pounding, pounding, pounding all of his pent-up frustation at being next to this heavenly bodaciousness for so many years and unable to complete his quest. I see arms flailing, nostrils flaring, gutteral sighs and screams of ectasy like a 12-year-old Catholic girl in the first blush of love watching Lance Bass sing and dance on stage at a concert in 1998. All from Brad. I see Toni, having grown accustomed to men with fat, sausage-like cocks just “giving her the business” uttering staccato sighs in true exasperation finding that average-cocked Brad really tries to include her pleasure in his pleasure and she has her first orgasm in seven years without the use of an electric toothbrush. In essence, mighty good sex. Afterward, there is a calmness, a tranquility between them as though this had been going on for years. This would be true because both imagined it for that time. Limerance is achieved. And with that, TJ calls from the kitchen to say the risotto is done.
Soon to not be Buckyswife #226: Choose wisely, young sparrow, for we will be calling you this term for a long time. I still vote for Demented Harlot of Snark. It fits you. Plus, I coined it.
November 7th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
223 Ecureil : you mean to tell me that a piece of shit like Zits appears in 1600 newpapers?
Feh.
November 7th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
To continnue, I am sure that terrible strips like Cathy appear inm any more. Done anybody have statistics, or know where I can get these numbers? I am curious.
If a piece of dreck like Zits appears in 1600 papers, then a quality strip like One Big Happy (despite what I say about it, it’s still one of the best) ought to appear in many thousands.
I realise there is a finite number of papers in America and the world.
November 7th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
#230 Dingo – Does not knowing what risotto is and preferring minute rice over any other form make me a Plugger?
November 7th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
#222 Calico – aaarrgghhhh!!! Now that put a picture in my head that I did not need to see …
November 7th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
My take on risotto is that it is a litmus test in order to be a really good chef or cook.
I have some nice Arborio rice that’s waiting for me to completely botch it up and make plaster of Paris.
(Actually I’m a very good cook but am nervous about the Risotto thing and not sure why, maybe I will have nightmares of White and Ramsay kicking down my door, wielding very large knives and cleavers if it’s not perfect)
Here are a couple of li’l clips for your viewing enjoyment:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRfFBfbuo0w
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59izFlDdztI
November 7th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
Whoever that guy is in Rex Morgan sure isn’t tech savvy. He doesn’t need the police to trace the call, he just needs to check his caller ID.
November 7th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
230. Dingo: …or, this being Brad and all, no matter how long Rituale della Risotto might be, the Deed took all of 15 seconds for him to climax, and Toni has spent the rest of the time in the bathroom, weeping uncontrollably and trying to cut her wrists with a Gillette Trac II razor.
November 7th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
#183 Dean Booth — You shouldn’t have, really you shouldn’t have. EYE BLEACH!
November 7th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
Always look for the silver lining. Or else.
November 7th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
=160= Luann: Hey, my earlier link was broken. Here’s the real link to STD: Don’t Risk It, in which Gunter has sex with a stack of books while Knute watches (click the “See Inside” for the hot stuff).
November 7th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Oh, I can believe that someone in Crock would volunteer for a suicide mission.
November 7th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Luann: Wonder what Toni would have said had TJ made penne pasta?
November 7th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
Luann: Toni feels so dirty that she’s escaping out the bathroom window. Brad, ever the gentleman, has just returned from helping her get the window open.
November 7th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Luann – Well, I guess “This Brad is very tasty” explains why they were both still dressed when TJ came home. So technically, Toni’s still a virgin. And technically, Evans can claim his characters weren’t having sex in the funny pages.
Big Dog – Some dogs like to chase cars. In this case, it looks like Marmaduke ran down a van carrying a soccer team.
MT – If we’re lucky, Rusty will stumble upon this scene next week and shortly thereafter be renamed “Amos Moses.” (for those who remember that awful Jerry Reed song)
November 7th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
#239 – Well, I didn’t expect that…at all.
Well done.
*stabs self in eyes*
November 7th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
is the mary worth strip gonna be in that hopital room to scott is up and walking . how many days in a row can you do the same gag over and over.
November 7th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
Earlier in the week, I made a comment to the effect that Doonesbury had made the Ultimate Twitter Joke. I may have to revise that statement. This entire WEEK of Get Fuzzy has been one long slam on the entire concept of Twitter, Tweets, and paying attention to them. If Trudeau and Conley didn’t plan this, then it’s a heck of a wonderful coincidence.
oh, and in regards to today’s Doonesbury, the queeksgirl said it all: “yay! Rachel is now mainstream!”
on the webcomic front, yesterday and today’s Sinfest were a most wonderful statement on the differences between the attitudes of dogs and cats.
November 7th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
Gee, cheech @244, thanks a lot! That earworm has been safely tucked away in my subconscious for years, and you just had to bring it to the surface again! Oh well, guess I’ll bust out the extra-strength Jeff Beck to make the bad man go away.
November 7th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
#244 cheech wizard: I think you mean “Techinically, Brad is still a virgin.” Does Dirk look like the type of man who would leave Toni uh…flowered?
I have to admit that “Brad is very tasty” squicked me out a bit. Not fodder for the breakfast table. Can’t they just portray him with an uncurled necktie ala Dilbert? Or maybe have him wear a different shirt? Please?
November 7th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
Love is knowing which websites are appropriate for each video. Hilarious bloopers videos from your visit to the nude cafeteria go to YouPorn or some similar site. Save YouTube for when your cat does something adorable.
November 7th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
Re: “Amos Moses”
Sounds a bit like Burton Cummings got a music lesson or two from John Fogarty.
More Cowbell!
November 7th, 2009 at 6:14 pm
DT: “Ye Gods! Pops is in the tiger’s cage!” sounds like the first line of a great undiscovered Walt Whitman poem.
November 7th, 2009 at 6:14 pm
@231 Little A and his Verkokte Magic Ball: Oh yeah. I’ll see your feh and raise you a shandeh.
November 7th, 2009 at 6:32 pm
245. Calico: ooh, sorry about that.
(Should I be apologizing?)
252. Esther Blogett: oh, definitely! Maybe one of our poets-in-residence will take up the call.
November 7th, 2009 at 6:40 pm
Prickly City: So many questions, so few answers. Might as well throw another question in the mix. I’ve heard of Bread Tray Mountain. But in the first panel, why is Stantis giving us Steam Iron Butte? Is he an Appliantologist?
November 7th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
Luann – Ah, Brad at #230 – Thanks for the mental image. I mean it. Finally, FINALLY, good, normal satisfying adult sex associated with the Luann strip, instead of the cloying, squickly, all-for-abstinence, nobody-with-living-parents-has-sex Evans storylines.
What will be interesting, however, is how guilty Mr. & Mrs. deGroot and Luann and TJ will try to make Brad and Toni feel.
November 7th, 2009 at 7:02 pm
256 Hairhead –
“How guilty Mr. & Mrs. deGroot and Luann and TJ will try to make Brad and Toni feel?”
How big is the sky, how many grains of sand on the beach?
Considering that Toni is the first and only girl who has ever shown Brad a bit of interest and Mrs. deG wants her shut down hard since she’s not good enough for him… I try not to think of the Oedipal connotations we see in Momma in relation to Luann, I really do.
November 7th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
#254 – Absolutely not! : D
I love me some of Bats’ Shops any day.
November 7th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
255. Écureuil Écumant: I like to think that PC takes place in New Mexico (not Arizona), but given its political bent, it could well be in the central/northern areas of the state. It’s the northern areas where you start seeing weird geological formations like this.
I digress. I was figuring that it has to be New Mexico since New Mexico is home to Elephant Butte, Elephant Butte Lake, and Elephant Butte Lake State Park. Not that exciting in and of itself, but when you’ve been on the road for hours, “Elephant Butt” is pretty damned funny…
November 7th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
And now for a very special episode of “Luann” about Brad’s premature ejaculation.
Zits needn’t worry. You-Tube doesn’t allow shots of genitalia. This is probably intended for You-Porn.
November 7th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
Yesterday’s New York Times crossword puzzle, 52 down – “Tongue-lolling comics character.” Four letters – “Snuffy Smith and the entire population of Hootin Holler” doesn’t fit.
November 7th, 2009 at 8:30 pm
cheech wizard @244 – No, I’ve thought of “Amos Moses” every time they talk about using the dog for alligator bait. I couldn’t think of a good enough way to use that, though, but I’m glad you’re sharing the pain around. “Sit down on ‘im, Sassy! Make it count, dawg!”
kkarenb – It took me a second to think of who that would be… oh, yeah, my parents named one of their pets that, I recall now, though they called him “Odious” about half the time.
November 7th, 2009 at 8:34 pm
#246 mr 12 oz — How long can you keep one gag going? Barney Google’s been going since 1919….
November 7th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
Luann: I can just see it now, Mrs. DeGroot camped out on the porch with her shotgun, just waiting to tell Toni, “Now, you’re going to make an honest man out of my little boy…”
November 7th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
264: to which Toni replies, “I’d be happy to, if you ‘d just get out of my way. . . .”
November 7th, 2009 at 9:21 pm
In doing research on today’s Curtis’s nimble use of the “u” word, I came across this delightful report: One small sip for man and a giant gulp of recycled urine for mankind.
November 7th, 2009 at 9:54 pm
Pluggers must be terribly fickle, since they can change team loyalties in less than the three months it takes the average deep-fried-lard-swilling Plugger to outgrow a sweatshirt.
November 7th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
# 230 Dingo — You have permanently and irrevocably linked risotto in my mind with Wagner’s Ring Cycle and Little Nell. Which is soooo much better than having it linked with TJ. Thank you, thank you.
November 7th, 2009 at 9:56 pm
“Calico says:
My take on risotto is that it is a litmus test in order to be a really good chef or cook.”
Remember risotto was a peasant dish, a way to make a meal out of rice, leftover wine/soup broth and some cheese.
Like a lot of peasant cooking it’s slow. Risotto is a little different in that you have to stand there; most peasant cooking is slow in the way of shove it into a pan, put it over a handful of smoldering coals and go plow/tend goats/shear a sheep, and ten hours later come back for a meal. It’s a style of using time instead of pricey ingredients to make good food.
Don’t let the food snobs ruin a simple dish for you.
Oh, and True Fable, there’s a goat in the lolcat section of “I can haz cheezburger” site.
November 7th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
11/8 PV — I hope Nudder and Bup won’t worry too much about Ig while he’s gone. And actually he’s kind of handsome in a really, really rugged sort of way.
November 7th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
#270 Poteet –
Ig’s face may be misshapen, but his nose is true!
November 7th, 2009 at 10:46 pm
Glad so many others remember Amos Moses – it’s so much better when you realize you weren’t suffering alone.
249/Married Agnostic Woman – I’m waiting for the upcoming episodes where mom DeGroot lectures Brad about the need for “protection” – then hands him a Glock for when Dirk inevitably comes over to pound his ass for pounding Toni’s ass.
November 7th, 2009 at 11:04 pm
269: that would be this: http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/funny-pictures-goat-gives-peace-sign.jpg
V
November 7th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
Gil Thorp
Is prisoner number 7117 z0m l33tsp34k j0k3 1′m m1z1ng?
November 7th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
MT And how many alligators will it take before Andy races to rescue Sassy?
The nearby raccoon and other wild critters would be more active gator bait on a rope, don’t you think?
Bonus points: The raccoon won’t have a collar to identify it if it gets eaten!
Wakie, wakie, Mark! Hero time! Get your fist ready.
November 7th, 2009 at 11:46 pm
All TJ has to do is put photos of himself in all of the rooms. That would promote abstinence just fine.
November 8th, 2009 at 8:58 am
I had mistakenly thought the Zits/Love Is mash-up was some sort of particularly deranged fanfic. Imagine my horror when I opened a hard-copy newspaper and saw the latest installment. I know Josh reads the comics so we don’t have to, but he might at least warn us when we really shouldn’t!
November 8th, 2009 at 10:18 am
#273 “Live long and prosper” goat?
November 8th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
Metarequest: can we make EVERY Friday Unspeakable Perversion Friday here at Comics Curmudgeon? You know, like “Casual Friday” in an office, or “Prince’s Spaghetti Day” in Boston. I’m pretty sure it would improve CC’s Google Ranking.
November 8th, 2009 at 6:33 pm
Hey, thanks for the link to the “Thriller” era T.J. Vitiligo, sure. Doesn’t shrink your nose, dude.
November 9th, 2009 at 12:20 am
When I saw that Zits on Friday, I shat bricks.
I mean, seriously, WHY naked?
They could’ve just been clothed little unnatural baby people, or at least had a fig leaf or something covering their genitals, but no. We get freakish, degenitaled baby versions of Jeremy and Sara, but naked, over our morning coffee…
It was seriously creepy.
November 21st, 2009 at 2:25 pm
SO tardy to the party, but my first thought was “Zits takes on sexting?” then I saw he brown sludge and overturned cup and went to a two girls one cup place.
Then I realized it was about tripping. Thanks for making that possible, Zits.