The Comics Curmudgeon

89 responses to “Saturday superheroes!”

1. dyslexic dog
   November 7th, 2009 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

   Yipes! Don’t tell me Crankshaft is mashing up with FOOB.

2. LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
   November 7th, 2009 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

   Does anybody know how to obtain information about comic strip circulation?

3. Caroline
   November 7th, 2009 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

   I’m confused. Is Crankshaft rattling off a list of location-specific weather phenomena, or the colloquial titles of perverse sex acts? He may well be ready for the Saskatchewan Snowjob, but you can’t ever truly prepare yourself for a Winnipeg Windjammer.

4. Phil
   November 7th, 2009 at 11:39 pm [Reply]

   I will admit to being sort of baffled by the opening to Crankshaft today.

   “Looks like you’ve got things all buttoned up for the winter, Crankshaft.”

   I mean, what in the name of Christmas is he talking about? ‘Shaft’s jacket is as unbuttoned as ever, I don’t think he’s talking about the garden, since it looks the same as ever, so… what?

   Or maybe he’s just complimenting ‘Shaft on finally doing his flies up, and passive-agressively reminding him that he left them undone all summer.

5. Phil
   November 7th, 2009 at 11:39 pm [Reply]

   Oh bother. I knew I was forgetting something.

6. mr 12 oz can
   November 7th, 2009 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

   i just wanna know how the kid in gil thorp gets the word in minutes after it happen that his brother got his ass kicked in minimum security

7. Rusty
   November 7th, 2009 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

   Crankshaft, like the mythical Eskimo, has 50 different words to describe snow. All of them hateful.

8. kurtthecomicreader
   November 7th, 2009 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

   Phantom: 17 months ( Over a year and a half) to resolve that story? What the heck is going to fill up all that time? Will there be guest visits from other comic strips to take the story on tangents?

9. Zak R.
   November 7th, 2009 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

   My current bank actually has all of the tellers raised about a foot above us mere mortals. I think it might have been a move to make it harder for robbers to jump over the counter that was popular some years ago, but only a few banks have anymore. In any case, I kind of like it, I think partially because it reminds me of being a kid and going to the bank with my mom.

10. Sheila Sternwell
    November 7th, 2009 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

    I admit I was worried that Phantom’s wife was really dead, until this week when it was practically spelled out for us that she’s alive, but 17 months? I don’t think I can watch stripeybutt mope around for 17 months.

    Is Crank slagging on Canada? Because I hear their weather control satellites are the best in the world, so if he’s going to complain about cold Canadian air coming down in the winter, he might want to do it in the privacy of his own home. Some tinfoil roof lining and speaking in code wouldn’t hurt, either. Canada takes this shit seriously.

11. Esther Blodgett
    November 7th, 2009 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey made me laugh today. I can identify with drinking myself into a stupor to numb the ceaseless onslaught of life’s daily problems. Wait, did I say that out loud?

12. Esther Blodgett
    November 8th, 2009 at 12:04 am [Reply]

    #9 Zak R: Do they give out Dum-Dum suckers at your bank? That’s one of my best memories of childhood – getting Dum-Dum suckers at the bank, the grocery store, and the liquor store. Our local Chinese buffet hands them out to Precocious Daughter when we go, keeping the tradition alive.

13. Alan's Addiction
    November 8th, 2009 at 12:17 am [Reply]

    Obviously the Sandman’s plan is to blind the security guards with those horrific, bright-purple pants of his. Either that or today’s laundry day and he was forced to borrow a pair from his roommate, Bruce Banner. Attention all superheroes and villains: If the shade of purple on your clothes is too garish for even The Phantom, you need to reconsider your purchase.
    Speaking of “The Phantom,” I like today’s cliche-ridden thought balloon. If The Phantom sees his dead wife everywhere, he should probably stop eating the fungus that’s growing in the depths of that skull cave and see a psychiatrist. Especially since he’s frequently around firearms and volatile substances; I imagine that hallucinations and/or crippling grief might be a drawback in those cases.
    Attention, “Crankshaft” writer Tom Batuik: I grew up in an area that saw 6-12 feet of snow in the winter (I’m not making that up) AND I went to college in Vermont and we always called it “snow,” or “powder” if I was at a ski resort. Not “Alberta Clipper,” or “Ontario Orthodoxy” or any other obnoxiously cutesy alliterations. Do you want to know why, Mr. Batuik? Because white people are not Eskimos (or Inuit, to be PC), not even if they have to shovel their own driveways.
    Why does General Halftrack’s wife appear to be wearing a monocle in today’s “Beetle Bailey?” Or is that a spare bit of cotton that’s floated onto her cheek? And isn’t it a bad sign when I’m more interested in the artist’s errors than the actual dialogue or content of a strip?

14. Victoria Dunn
    November 8th, 2009 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    I’m convinced that Diana faked her own death to get away from Aqua-Striped Granny-Pantie Man and the diapered spawn he fathered. In 17 months they’ll be dragging her out of a spider hole, which she’ll claim was a paradise compared to family vacations at the Memento Mori Theme Park.

15. Rain
    November 8th, 2009 at 12:31 am [Reply]

    But….but…but….”Winnipeg” isn’t a Province or Territory! Crankshaft, you’re confuuuuuuuuusing me! I mean, I was confused enough by his list to begin with….do I have to worry about these things, too? Or do they only attack other countries? I don’t know if I can handle the Alberta Clipper. Round these parts, the Clipper is a boat…if Alberta’s getting boats, pretty sure I’m going to be needing some scuba gear and/or an Ark for Xmas.

    In other news, I’d just like to let the world know my general disappointment in Mary Worth not going with the Zombie Scott storyline…and heck, not even killing him! I’m now desperately clinging to the possibility that Adrian will be the one to snuff it unexpectedly (”Being a doctor is dangerous, too!” bemoans Doctor Jeff. “Oh you stupid man,” condescends Mary condescendingly. “Being a person is dangerous! Life in today’s world, with email and all, is UNCERTAIN and we must wring every drop of joy we can from it before we all inevitably die! Now drink your tea.”), but my hopes are dimming. Why, Mary Worth, why? Why did I believe you would be anything less than pull-my-hair-out irritating and saccharine?

    ….ahem… sorry. Got a bit carried away there.

16. monkey.dave
    November 8th, 2009 at 12:33 am [Reply]

    Crank: Ha ha… it’s funny because Winnipeg isn’t a province.

    Funky: If this strip were real life, Les would get punched in the face about six times a day.

17. Emily K [Riff Chick]
    November 8th, 2009 at 12:47 am [Reply]

    SM: In the 2nd panel, the size, shape, and position of Bigshot’s gun is thus no coincidence.

18. Rainbird
    November 8th, 2009 at 12:53 am [Reply]

    10 Sheila Sternwell

    I figured she was still alive too, but I was hoping that they would actually kill her off so we could start seeing the next generation of Phantoms train. My gosh, how long have those kids been about 10. Get a move on.

    And having her gone would allow stripy butt to play the field, like he did before he married, or I suppose he did since that was too long ago for me to remember, as he has been this Phantom since my mom was a kid, so what is that 70 years? Does the suit have magic powers then?

19. Uncle Lumpy
    November 8th, 2009 at 12:53 am [Reply]

    I . . . DO . . . NOT . . . BRAY!!!

    Ah, good times, good times.

20. CanuckDownSouth
    November 8th, 2009 at 12:55 am [Reply]

    well, there goes all the good snark.

    I’ll just say that more information about the Alberta Clipper weather phenomenon can be found on the internet. The others, uh, not so much

21. Larry Fine
    November 8th, 2009 at 12:57 am [Reply]

    FC — Sure, Jeffy, feel free to pet the goldfish. And you might also want to check out the fish in this other tank. It’s called a piranha.

22. Larry Fine
    November 8th, 2009 at 1:02 am [Reply]

    Is Crankshaft listing Canadian weather patterns or bizarre sex acts?

23. Poteet
    November 8th, 2009 at 1:03 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft — With all due respect, Ohio winters aren’t that harsh.

24. It's time to pay the price
    November 8th, 2009 at 1:04 am [Reply]

    I see Diana, I see France,
    I see stripey blue underpants!

25. CanuckDownSouth
    November 8th, 2009 at 1:08 am [Reply]

    #23-Poteet- Yup. heck, I figure that if you don’t need to use the fact that minus 40 is the same on both sides of the thermometer, it’s isn’t a harsh winter :-)

26. The Ghost of Jarrod
    November 8th, 2009 at 1:12 am [Reply]

    So with regard to Beetle Bailey, Josh, are you saying that Camp Swampy is actually just a story that the “general” and his wife make up to amuse themselves? Does this mean that one night, drunk at a dinner party, the “general” will tell his wife and everyone else that the whole base was deployed to Iraq, and got killed by an IED, causing his wife to become furious? Because I must say, that would make the strip almost readable.

27. cheech wizard
    November 8th, 2009 at 1:14 am [Reply]

    No, Diana can’t be dead – she’ll turn up in 17 months or so, suffering from amnesia and wandering around the streets of Bangalla or whatever that hell-hole is supposed to be. Of course, she’ll be a walking petri dish after working as a streetwalker to survive all this time, but the fat witch doctor will whomp up some of his patented cure-all that cures AIDs, herpes, ebola, cancer, hepatitis, malaria, warts and the Heartbreak of Psoriasis, but he’s never managed to share with the rest of the world, and everything will turn out just fine. Except for the other 500 people that got killed in Chatu’s bombing. They’re still going to be fucked.

28. Jessie
    November 8th, 2009 at 1:15 am [Reply]

    # 12

    “That’s one of my best memories of childhood – getting Dum-Dum suckers at the bank, the grocery store, and the liquor store.”

    The . . . liquor store? What state was this in?

29. Miles Standish
    November 8th, 2009 at 1:16 am [Reply]

    Uncle Lumpy OK, all right, you don’t bray…but if Mrs. Halftrack wears the pants in the family, it’s because somebody has to.

30. Jacob
    November 8th, 2009 at 1:17 am [Reply]

    Phantom: “Everywhere I look in the deep woods, I see Diana! I see her in that cave that looks like a giant, gaping skull! And that crocodile! And that half-eaten bird!”

    Mark Trail: Jack Elrod’s flight from the evil raccoon reaches its climax as Elrod hangs over gator-infested water, his nemesis taunting him!

    Hagar the Horrible: From now on, this is how I’m dealing with anything I don’t like- arms folded, towel over head.

31. Isaac
    November 8th, 2009 at 1:18 am [Reply]

    Spiderman: “All the pennies? Gee… okay, sir, but I don’t see why you wouldn’t want the dollar bills, as well.”

32. Mary Worthless
    November 8th, 2009 at 1:21 am [Reply]

    Since when did repressed spinster bank tellers start wearing large gold hooker hoop earrings? What’s next, Mary Worth decked out in gangsta bling?

33. sugarpie
    November 8th, 2009 at 1:25 am [Reply]

    Uncle Lumpy Good times? Best times!

34. David B
    November 8th, 2009 at 1:28 am [Reply]

    I figure that the whole bank heist is doomed, since Bigshot has a small facehugger creeping around the left side of his skull in panel one.

    Actually, that might be fun—we’d have Spider-Man against a really short xenomorph. Wait—fun? Never mind, then. This is Spider-Man, so i must be mistaken.

35. bats :[
    November 8th, 2009 at 1:33 am [Reply]

    SUNDAY, SUNDAY!

    MW: well, that was a waste. Just because A3G rehashes the week on Sunday doesn’t make it a good idea.

    MC: whoa! Major CC alert!

    MT: good lookin’ turtle alert!

    SFox: Agent Tik-Tik surfaces!

36. Oregonian
    November 8th, 2009 at 1:35 am [Reply]

    So what’s the snowstorm for Prince Edward Island? The “PEI pisser”?

37. Duke of Earl Grey
    November 8th, 2009 at 1:50 am [Reply]

    Oh, I get it. Bigshot must be a coin collecter. I know it’s hard to find a 1914-D Lincoln cent, but there have got to be better ways than this.

38. Aaron
    November 8th, 2009 at 2:08 am [Reply]

    Ok, I didn’t know where else to post this so I’m going to go ahead and put it here….

    They are making Funky Winkerbean: The Movie!

    Ok, so it’s actually called Brothers, but it’s the same idea. A soldier goes MIA in the middle east and comes home to find that his wife is with another guy (it’s not clear from the trailer whether the other guy is a comic book dealer).

    Based on the preview I saw today (during Men Who Stare At Goats — which has a legitimately funny cancer joke and I heartily recommend seeing), Brothers is depressing, pedantic and misanthropic. So I’d say it’s staying true to the source material.

    Also in Hollywood/comics/WTF news: Owen Wilson has been signed to be the voice of Marmaduke in the upcoming Marmaduke movie.

39. sugarpie
    November 8th, 2009 at 2:11 am [Reply]

    MWorth, Sunday Is anyone able to give me directions to Santa Royal General Hospital? I’ve got five gallons of gasoline and want to set fire to this whole mess. Seriously, how do they get away with this garbage?

40. Joe Blevins
    November 8th, 2009 at 2:20 am [Reply]

    PHANTOM: The Phantom’s house looks like it just heard some excellent gossip. “Oh. My. Gawd. Levi Johnston said what?!?”

    Meanwhile: “Everywhere I look in the deep woods, I see Diana! There’s her index finger. There’s her left leg. And is that her nose I see way over there? Oh, man, this is going to take forever to clean up!”

    S-M: Uh, Sandman, maybe you should let the guard finish his sentences. Maybe he was about to say, “Assist them in whatever way possible.”

    ‘SHAFT: Let’s not be so quick to jump to the ’shaft’s defense. He’s rattling off the names of venereal diseases against which he’s been immunized. You don’t even want to know how he caught the Yukon Yowler.

41. ThatDangerGirl
    November 8th, 2009 at 2:21 am [Reply]

    Sandman’s use of the word “pop” is in fact a bit of foreshadowing- the bank’s wealth was not in its vaults but in the Roy Lichtenstein originals hanging on the walls.

42. Poteet
    November 8th, 2009 at 2:27 am [Reply]

    # 25 CanuckDownSouth — Iowa winters aren’t that harsh either, but I’ve lived in both states, and when it comes to cold winds, which seem to be what Crank is obsessed with, Iowa beats Ohio, no contest. But I visited a small town well north of Winnipeg many years ago in February, and that taught me a little of what Canadian winters can be like. I was properly humbled. I also visited a friend in Vermont once when the temp dropped to forty below F, with fourteen inches of snow on the ground. That was enlightening too.

43. Poteet
    November 8th, 2009 at 2:31 am [Reply]

    11/8 MY CAGE — Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch, the guilt. Okay, I’ll send a message to the Chron website if someone will tell me where to send it. Also I’ll beg for MY CAGE the next time my paper offers a chance to vote on comic strips, I swear. It happens every decade or so.

44. tb4000
    November 8th, 2009 at 2:36 am [Reply]

    Luann: I think we can honestly say with no hyberbole that Toni is the first woman to ever utter the phrase “the Brad is yummy.” Not because it’s weird, but because Brad has never had physical contact with a woman before her.

45. Ed Dravecky
    November 8th, 2009 at 2:38 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft appears to be mixing actual winter wind patterns with Canadian sex acts he learned about on the interweb. Praise be to Gretzky that Annoying Neighbor Guy stopped him from describing the Two-Handed Zamboni or the Tuktoyaktuk Tuck.

    A note about Mary Worth: The actual name of the hospital (as seen on October 11th) is “Mountview Hospital”. And, yes, it does disturb me that I know this.

46. Poteet
    November 8th, 2009 at 2:41 am [Reply]

    11/8

    Between Friends — This strip should be renamed Clueless Weenies.

    MW — And with his newly-girlish smile, Scott begins his inevitable morphing into another Mary Worth clone. Just relax, Scott, and let it happen. It’s easier that way.

    PHANTOM — HAHAHA! Even I dress better than that.

    S-M — Gee, that little guy Bigshot sure carries a large gun. I feel tingly just looking at it.

47. Ed Dravecky
    November 8th, 2009 at 2:45 am [Reply]

    11/8 My Cage: Hey, a shout out from our pal Ed Power! Here’s hoping a future strip introduces a new snarky wise blogger character named Josh Fruhlemur.

48. cj
    November 8th, 2009 at 2:45 am [Reply]

    Spidey:
    Not only does today’s installment let us see “Bigshot” engage in petty supervillainy, but more generally continues the trend of bizarre comic fashion. The Sandman has apparently decided to offset (highlight?) his bland nature by adorning a cool-yet-loud black and white striped wideneck t-shirt and purple jeans. Someone should tell him he’s too built to pull it off.

    Shaft:
    Not relating to today’s strip, but to an issue concerning many of us: We already know the Shaft is impervious to disease (he hates viruses and microbes to death). However, his death is inevitable, and not just because he lives in Funkyverse. From what I can recall, the local school district does not believe in separation of work and nonwork (Crankshaft’s work car – schoolbus is also his personal vehicle). Assuming the bus is of a certain vintage, I can see the RWD bus lose traction in the rain and flip over the guard rail on the local cliff, sending the hateful old man on his way back to the abyss.

49. Ant Baby Machete Squad
    November 8th, 2009 at 3:06 am [Reply]

    “I get the idea… Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to seek shelter from the arctic asshole.”

    Relax, ugly bank teller. Bigshot can’t hurt you. A revolver with a gun barrel that long can only release a flag with the word “BANG” on it.

50. NoahSnark
    November 8th, 2009 at 3:19 am [Reply]

    General Halftrack is very particular when it comes to mixing intoxicants and his wife. It’s alcohol when she wants to nag, valium when she wants to go talk about her day, and black tar heroin when she feels like sexing him up.

51. Dingo
    November 8th, 2009 at 4:13 am [Reply]

    Yay! The site gets a shoutout from Ed Power! Hmm… how do I thank him? Would oral pleasures suffice or should I chain him to a log?

52. Steve S
    November 8th, 2009 at 4:20 am [Reply]

    Wait, Crankshaft is set in Ohio, right? Because I’m pretty sure the Saskatchewan Snowjob will be offset by the Cleveland Steamer.

53. Marion Delgado
    November 8th, 2009 at 5:47 am [Reply]

    After a long run, Apartment 3-G is ready for its shocking last panels. Tommie will turn to the camera, demand “What do you want, you sick animals?? This?” and do an extreme makeover of her head with a .32.

    Final panel will show Gary watching – it’s his favorite show!

54. un_malpaso
    November 8th, 2009 at 6:16 am [Reply]

    Looks like Sandman and the Hulk get their purple pants from the same superhero store.

55. OKStan
    November 8th, 2009 at 7:23 am [Reply]

    3, 22, and 52!
    I think the Saskatchewan Snowjob involves backfat and a pair of well-lubricated mukluks. The Yukon Yowler…I don’t want to know.
    Heh, good one on the Cleveland Steamer!

56. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    November 8th, 2009 at 8:12 am [Reply]

    installed raised daises for their tellers so that they can literally glare down at the little people.

    Well, then, I hope they aren’t surprised when confused customers begin asking the tellers to refill their prescriptions.

57. yellojkt
    November 8th, 2009 at 8:17 am [Reply]

    #22 Larry Fine: Crankshaft has been watching the Canadian Sex Acts episode of How I Met Your Mother

58. LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
    November 8th, 2009 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    Happy Sunday.

    Does anybody know how to obtain information about comic strip circulation?

59. zerowolf
    November 8th, 2009 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    What for desert, TJ made a spooge err…. sponge cake.

60. ring around the collar
    November 8th, 2009 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    Why is the bank teller wearing funky hoop earrings and 70’s glasses? Is Bigshot robbing a library?

61. Niall
    November 8th, 2009 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft above: Gah. Winnipeg is a city, not a province.

    My Cage: I should not have doubted you, Ed and Melissa.

62. Muffaroo
    November 8th, 2009 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    Josh – It’s like the bank in Spider-Man is the opposite of the Columbia Savings I used to visit (it was near where Mom worked, and I wandered around sometimes while waiting to go home) that had a little platform for kids to stand on and be raised up to the level of the teller. There were buttons on the guardrail for up and down. Too cool. They also had lollipops, which I was careful about only taking one at a time. Not Dum Dums, I must add. They were some sort of composite color. Possibly composite flavor, too. I just remember them being sweet and a little odd.

    Crankshaft (sat) – (She lives in Alberta; her name is Winnipeg…)

    Slylock – I know this one! In order to make sure they wake up the moment the power comes back on, they’re going to put a can of hair spray in the microwave and crank that mother up to 11.

    Spidey – “B-but, Bigshot! The money’s not in the bank! The money’s in Tony’s house, and the money’s in Bill’s house, and, and…”

63. queek
    November 8th, 2009 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    35: ditto on the MC and SFx. (Ed and Mel, we love you too!)

    PV: gorgeous panel alert!

    PBS: just win. with lime.

    Lockhorns: a topical sports joke?!? and a funny one to boot!

    Luanne, aged up for your Rule34 pleasure.

    CdS middle panel: Rich, you magnificent bastard.

    FatBoringCat: someone watched “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” recently.

64. Doctor Handsome
    November 8th, 2009 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    You all seem to be convinced that Crankshaft is listing horrifying sexual positions, but it’s clear to me that he’s preparing for an impending attack by marauding pro wrestlers.
    Because he’s fucking insane.

65. MolyBendum
    November 8th, 2009 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    Rose is Rose sets a new low in boring, unattractive and annoying. It’s impressive.

    There’s a Mary Worth shoutout over in Over the Hedge today. And corny puns. And self-referential humor. Everything I like. Too bad Michael Fry don’ come aroun’ here no more. But I’ve heard the best thing to do in these situations is wait until your favorite strip is cancelled and then blog about it for hours…

66. RW
    November 8th, 2009 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    Spidey: I like how the cop not only has to confirm verbally that what’s going on is, in fact, a robbery, but is also about to remind himself of what he has to do in case of one.

    I’m also pretty sure there is an even smaller man hiding beneath the countertop who’s holding the gun, because the way he’s standing that can’t possibly be Bigshot’s right hand we’re seeing.

67. UncleJeff
    November 8th, 2009 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    14 Victoria: Diana is “hiking the Appalachian Trail”.

    Cranky: Our local weathercasters are in love with using the Alberta Clipper phrase…even when it’s more likely the winds from the north are really coming from the Hudson Bay. I guess “Hudson Howler” is not as fetching an appellation.

    We’ve had a rash of bank robberies in the area over the past several months. None involving men made of sand but we did have one where the getaway car driver drove away in panic while his buddy with the sawed-off shotgun was inside the bank.
    It was pretty easy to find the getaway car driver. He is seven feet tall and had been standing outside the compact car a few feet from the small town bank (during the lunch hour) when the alarm went off.
    He wound up getting probation (and has a college basketball scholarship) while his buddy got 15 years in prison.
    Another True Story of American Justice. I’m Bill Kurtis.

68. The Eric
    November 8th, 2009 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    Sandman wouldn’t dare use “bub” in the same universe as Wolverine.

69. Brad the Bold
    November 8th, 2009 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    You know what I bugs me today? Lazy comics that think I wont notice if they recycle the same drawing for a couple of panels.

    Sunday’s Herb & Jamal flaunts it’s recycled art like the image of Herb in thoughtful repose is the comic Mona Lisa. Hey Bentley, shifting the frame up and down slightly doesn’t fool anyone.

    Seriously, seven out of nine panels? I thought comic artists actually liked to draw.

70. Ringo Beaumont III
    November 8th, 2009 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    Isn’t embarking on a 17 month storyline a bit presumptuous on the part of The Phantom’s writers? I mean, how many people who actually follow The Phantom are still going to be alive in 17 months?

71. treedweller
    November 8th, 2009 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    H&L: I’ve seen trucks like this. Given what I’ve seen them doing, I can only surmise a giant sinkhole has formed in the street in front of the Flagston house, causing the septic tank to rupture and create a pool of excrement for the children to play in. The truck driver remembers his own days as a youngster cavorting in sewage. I think we know what the twins will be when they grow up!

    Which all makes about as much sense as children feeling joyful at the prospect of flopping down on asphalt cushioned only by a thin layer of leaves.

72. Canaduck
    November 8th, 2009 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    …that banker looks like Janet Reno.

73. Sparky AKA Able Bodied Seaman Craggy Fjord
    November 8th, 2009 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    Peeps want to see the stripey butt guy get some … so Diana has to go offstage for a bit.

74. Crankenstank
    November 8th, 2009 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    @72: you mean, Super Sexy, right?

75. Mibbitmaker
    November 8th, 2009 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    I am now about to post-jump myself, in order to comment on the Saturday strips above:

    S-M: Big Dummy, I wouldn’t try to bank-rob Janet Reno if I were you — she’ll have shock troops on your ass in a shot! Say, ‘Big”, do you enjoy… Cuba?

    BBailey: Seeing two of her, eh, Halfwit? How long has it been since you were leading mountaineering expeditions from England? About 40 years or so…?

    Ghost-Who-Lasts-At-Least-17-Months: That’s a long time. It won’t be so bad, though: It’s just moving enough to be compelling reading, just 9/11-like enough to be meaningful… and just logic-impared (WHY does he INSIST on ASSUMING that his wife is ACTUALLY DEAD?? And without LOOKING??) enough to cause good snarking.

76. Andy L
    November 8th, 2009 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    Nothing like a horrifying cave in the shape of a decaying human skull to remind you of your dead wife.

77. Edgy DC
    November 8th, 2009 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

    “Yessiree…, we’re all ready for the Alberta Clipper, Winnipeg Windjammer, Saskatchewan Snowjob, the Yukon Yowler, the…”

    “Goodness sakes, ‘Shaft. I thought the Dirty Sanchez sounded disgusting enough.”

78. Oavis
    November 8th, 2009 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

    Being from Winnipeg, I do like the idea that our fair city can produce incredibly localized snowstorms that can be sent off to target Crankshaft’s house specifically. You can “button down” all you like, ‘Shaft – we’ll jam your gnarly old ass yet.

79. Packherd
    November 8th, 2009 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

    Why is Janet Reno making a cameo appearance in Spider-man? I would rather see her in a cage fight with Mary Worth. Place your bets!

80. anonymous
    November 8th, 2009 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

    General Halfwit and his ball and chain ought to get together with the Lockhorns. They all have a lot in common, namely, unending, enervating hate for each other.

81. addictedtomeddle
    November 8th, 2009 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    Family of Love Circus: The dog which is not Barfy is considering doing unspeakable to Jeffy.
    Mary, Full of Worth: God help us, maybe the Worthiverse is Ozymandias’ brave new world.

82. addictedtomeddle
    November 8th, 2009 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    @66: If you are correct, perhaps the term Bigshot is relative.
    @70: It is my impression that the Phantom is big business down under. Not much else to read in the bush?

83. Readem and Laf
    November 9th, 2009 at 12:26 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft, 11/7/09

    No Montreal Express?

    I feel dissed.

84. Pozzo
    November 9th, 2009 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    “What’s a Saskatchewan Snowjob?”

    “Twenty bucks, same as in town.”

85. Gary
    November 9th, 2009 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    The last time Crankshaft had a Winnipeg Windjammer didn’t his doctor prescribe more fiber for his diet? And when spring comes, I hope he gets the screens in before the ol’ Dutch Oven.

86. Jesse
    November 9th, 2009 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    Bigshot is either holding his gun at the most awkward angle possible or his right hand is attached to his left arm.

87. Reeseman
    November 9th, 2009 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    Phantom: It’s possible that Diana really is dead, and the new story is going to bring back the ship captain who had the hots for Stripey-pants while she was delivering the lizard-men to their Gulf Coast abandoned-oil-rig-paradise. Then she can be Mrs. Phantom II. Now that’s a story line that sounds like it would take about 17 months to develop.

88. Mike
    November 9th, 2009 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    I’d have ventured that Crankshaft is getting ready for Canadian football season, but everyone knows that all of the CFL teams are named the Roughriders.

89. Anonymous
    November 11th, 2009 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    When i lived in Minnesota, we knew for a fact that bad weather came from Canada.

All the cool kids…

…buy Comics Curmudgeon merchandise!

Randomly Selected Post O’ Mystery

• Metapost: Question time