Fight Procyonophobia!
Slylock Fox, 11/13/09
Some readers have claimed that in my past commentaries I have unjustly slandered the reputation of the noble raccoon, and perhaps this is true! But I am certainly not alone in fomenting negative media images of these clever creatures. Check out this masked fellow, tightly gripping onto his “lunch,” a wide-eyed still-living fish gasping for oxygen in the terrible waterless realm outside his home pond. “For the love of God,” it begs with its eyes, “put me out of my misery! This is agony!” But the raccoon just grins mischievously. “Oh, this? Yeah, I scooped this fish out the lake. I’ll probably eat him, eventually, but I thought I’d just carry him around for a while and let him thrash first. So, what have you been up to?”
Baldo, 11/13/09
Oh, look, it’s comics crossover fun in Baldo! This strip is actually surprisingly realistic: most crossover strips show comics characters laughing it up at some big party, but if you think about it, if you saw a group of fictional characters, all with wildly differing proportions and basic bodily structures, you too would react by staring at them in silent, wide-eyed horror, as everyone in the third panel appears to be doing.
Mary Worth, 11/13/09
“My advice? Oh, Adrian, dear, you know I don’t like to use that word! It implies that you have the option not to obey me. I prefer the term ‘unbreakable divine command.’”
CanuckDownSouth
November 13th, 2009 at 8:59 am
Along with modern conveniences, apparently the concept that when you become a parent, it’s not all about you has not made it to the jungles of Bangalla.
Yeah, Heloise, he would – like he’s supposed to!
AhClem
November 13th, 2009 at 9:02 am
“Lots of funny people around here.”
Where? Lio and the kid from Foxtrot, maybe, but the rest? Pblpblpblpbl.
willethompson
November 13th, 2009 at 9:06 am
MW: Why is Adrian wearing the engagement ring on her middle finger? So she can gig off the other single female doctors with style!
UnknownEric
November 13th, 2009 at 9:14 am
Baldo: Hagar has Mama FOOB eyes.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
November 13th, 2009 at 9:14 am
Procyonophobia? Why would anyone be afraid of the brightest star in the constellation Canis Minor? Now, Eta Aquilae, that’s a frightening star. Cepheid variables scare the fuck out of me.
MolyBendum
November 13th, 2009 at 9:15 am
Apartment 3G I’m conflicted… Is Ari an unethical sleazebag pimping pills for pussy or is he an incompetent buffoon being played for a patsy? Is Bobbie a conniving, self-centered people-user with ulterior motives or is she just a confused, mid-sex change pill popper? Does Margaret Shulock think an entire “EEE” storyline…Tommie, Ruby, Bobbie, Ari…can match up to even one panel of Margo scratching her ass? And when do we begin to answer the important questions, like how do they hang the toilet paper roll?
Baldo/Curtis Ahhhh, American Diabetes Month, my favorite time of the year. So far we’ve learned that: cooking healthy will keep you from looking bad when your family gets diseases; it’s ok to cheat on your diet even if it kills you; and that laughing can prevent diabetes. I’m sure this is just what the American Diabetes Association had in mind.
Cathy Cathy is a boot slut.
Herb & Jamaal Every time Herb screws up his face at us like that, I think “squork”. Doesn’t make it any funnier… I’m just sayin’…squork.
Luann I don’t like Luann, but as a GI I’d just like to say that 1) they don’t randomly send wounded Soldiers out to “military hospitals” in suburbia (where Wikipedia says this is set (there’s 2 minutes of my life I’ll never get back)), 2) military hospitals are on military posts, 3) they don’t let unaccompanied minors on military posts without an ID card, 4) even if they got on post, they don’t let unescorted 15/16 year old girls hang out with wounded Soldiers “cuz they wanna”.
Pluggers Chapstick, a lighter and….a five dollar bill. Phew, I’m not a Plugger today.
Zippy the Pinhead I notice that Big John the Christian Conservative has a Pepsi on his tray. I always thought Coke was the more Conservative beverage, I don’t know why. I don’t suppose it matters, just made me think.
Chyron HR
November 13th, 2009 at 9:23 am
Slylock Fox – A vapid blonde with overinflated lips? You can’t fool me, today’s terrific artist is Greg Evans, age 62.
Amateur
November 13th, 2009 at 9:24 am
Slylock: The creepiest thing is how the fish is apparently looking at the raccoon in the second panel, and then apparently he decides there’s no hope for mercy there, because he’s looking at us in the third. Sorry, fishie! Wish we could help! :-(
MolyBendum
November 13th, 2009 at 9:26 am
Mary Worth- Mary is saying “My advice?” as opposed to “My advice?” because she realizes that if she had done it right, Adrian wouldn’t even know she’d been advised. Next she will look down and say “Holy carp! Why am I wearing this hideous yellow pantsuit?” as Jeff grabs her elbow and quietly steers her toward the psych ward. The day Mary lost her touch was a sad day indeed.
Bradley
November 13th, 2009 at 9:30 am
Am I the only one creeped out by the current Luann story line that has a bunch of soldiers lusting after an underage girl?
I mean it’s been a while since I was in the military, but most of us then had enough sense not to look at 16 year old kids as sex objects (as they’ve been implying about Tiffany all week).
Spunde
November 13th, 2009 at 9:36 am
I’m not so much creeped out by wounded soldiers lusting after an underage girl as I am by underage girls wishing the soldiers would lust after them.
Sgt Saunders
November 13th, 2009 at 9:43 am
MW: “Even unconscious he sensed I was there?”
What th’? … When are they going to realize that this “Adrian” is no medical doctor and likely has a mental age of 14. Call her “Queenie”.
ladadog
November 13th, 2009 at 9:49 am
JP: What’s going on with JP this week, what with the two crossover strips? First, there was the Cathy, “Ack”, and today, Sam has gotten all punchy. I’m thinking he must realize there has been a distinct lack of fisticuffs in Mark Trail and is taking up the slack. It must be pointed out, however, that Sam’s foot appears to be normal size, unlike the tiny dogs on Mark.
Phantom: Good Lord, just abandon those two motherless children, Phantom, way to go. You are absolutely right, True Fable.
Mibbitmaker
November 13th, 2009 at 9:55 am
Baldo: Well, if they had Lio and his pet, but also Rat & Pig, Alice from Cul de Sac, Satchel from Get Fuzzy, Ruthie, and a certain balding platypus from My Cage instead of the motley crew we see, there might be some laughter involved….
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
November 13th, 2009 at 10:00 am
Hey, I have the morning off. Woohoo! Let’s do the snark warp again!
9CL: Why does he need to envision her in a filmy negligee? She prances around practically naked most of the time already.
A3G: “Sorry, let me rephrase that. Lie on the couch and open your mouth.”
Baldo: Maybe everyone’s silent in panel 3 because they realize that the only one of them who’s ever funny is the one who never speaks. I, for one, welcome the new wordless Ziggy. And isn’t being reduced to incomprehensible gestures and grunting the ultimate outgrowth of Herb & Jamaal’s vagueness?
BB: Beetle calls Sarge a blowhard… naah, too easy. But I do like the way Sarge’s final hit is onomatopoeized as “Bop!” That’s their agreed way of telling Beetle the scene is over, so Beetle knows he’s allowed to speak again.
BH: These two need to stop hanging out with the Lockhorns.
DtM: Can it, Dennis. No way Henry and Alice are giving up Dissolute-Playboy-Picks-Up-Anonymous-Slut-In-Bar-And-Takes-Her-To-Trashy-Hotel-Where-He-Spanks-Her-Till-She-Screams Night. It’s only once a month.
(WT)DT: Hate to tell ya, Barb, but cats don’t smile. Someone’s about to lose a chin.
FT: Someone tell Holbrook that throwaway panels are only supposed to be used on Sundays.
thorps.While we’re at it, someone tell Rod Whigham that we don’t read Gil Thorp for the sports.H&L: Well, Fat Blonde Kid Whose Name I Can’t Be Arsed To Look Up, you’ve taken the first step by ditching that
faggysilly sailor hat. Next, you have to drop 100 pounds… specifically, Chip.Luann: Hey, bringing her was your idea, dimbulb. If you hadn’t, you’d have the biggest boobs in the group, and all the 20-something soldiers would be mentally gang-raping your 16-year-old virgin body. Would that be better?
MT: In panel 1, it looks like a wrathful Mark has finally unleashed the Lightning of Justice. Hey, in a strip where dogs are cookie-dough-colored and Rusty is a “normal” boy, electricity could be brown.
MW: Smart Adrian. By making Mary think she’s already given you good advice, you just might escape the mega-meddle she had planned for you. “My advice? Oh! My advice! Uh… of course. Glad to be… to have been of help, dear. Shall we all go to the Bum Boat now?” “It’s only 8 a.m., Mary.” “Then salmon squares it is!”
teddytoad
November 13th, 2009 at 10:03 am
My word, it’s shocking to see Broomhilda referenced after a solid decade of not thinking about her at all. For a few stunned moments, I couldn’t remember if she’d ever existed, or if it was some idea I’d had for a comic strip when I was 12, which I quickly scrapped as way too lame.
LUJBEM FEJF
November 13th, 2009 at 10:03 am
Baldo- Been there, done that.
LUJBEM FEJF
November 13th, 2009 at 10:10 am
Dick- Panel One- In my best “comic book guy” voice, “Worst Drawn Panel Ever!”
Baron Bizarre
November 13th, 2009 at 10:11 am
Is it me, or do the Phantom’s kids look like they’re on the edge of starvation” Does Little Squat Bandar Guy not feed those kids while their dad’s away?
Little Guy
November 13th, 2009 at 10:11 am
JP: C’mon! That’s impossible! He doesn’t even have facial hair!
Luann: An Army of Lechers?
Bryan
November 13th, 2009 at 10:12 am
Phantom: “Sorry your mom got killed, kids! I’m going to fight crime at the track!”
I have to say, I’m really enjoying the girls of the ModCloth.com ads around here.
Edgy DC
November 13th, 2009 at 10:18 am
I think the wide-eyed horror is because they are are all a little uncomfortable with there being a guy in the room with no pants, but none of them want to say anything. They all thought they were coming to a fun party at Baldo’s, and now they’re all trying to rack their brains for explanations of why they can only stay for about 48 seconds.
LoFoMoFo
November 13th, 2009 at 10:20 am
JP: The improbability of this storyline is getting a bit much. It looks like Sam has been teleported to an estate in Palm Beach, the RFOJ is being exercised in the wrong strip and he’s yet to face the six foot D’vito amzon widow.
RJ the Janitor
November 13th, 2009 at 10:24 am
Eh, anyone seen my cousin Rufus? Last I heard he went out to dig a grave with his fool cat.
Pinokeyo's Wife
November 13th, 2009 at 10:25 am
No, no, and no. I will not accept that Adrian’s medical training is as such that it is a mere Mary Worth who has to tell her to talk to unconscious patients and describe the benefit of doing so. Any faithful viewer can watch Lifetime, Television for Women and learn that.
Niall
November 13th, 2009 at 10:29 am
Triskadektaphobia day
Did Blondie just go meta on us??
Dennis has no menace, no joke, no nothing at all. Revoke his licence already.
Tracy: I’m surprised no one has yet to make a “cyber sex” joke between those two. Talk about the thrill of the chase… and it might explain why she(?)’s called “barb” els… (not 100% sure on the gender of just about anyone in this circus)
F Minus: An even worse idea – the ring would be really hot and scalding to put on her. But if it were to cool down quickly and have nice filigrane words blaze out and soon vanish, it might explain why the jeweller sold it at such a discount.
Gil Thorp: All I can understand of the whole strip is “he takes it for a score” and I don’t really want to know the after-game shower room antics, thank you.
Hi & Lois shows that the cartoonists must be from another dimension – that outfit has never, ever been deemed hot by young girls anywhere, any time, any place.
JudgePugilist Parker: Aww, and here I thought money was able to buy competent bodyguards.And once again, the major colour accents in Mary Worth and My Cage (next to each other in my Chron page) match – a nice bright yellow this time.
My Cage: Um, Ed Power, what was that about not going meta for a while? It’s cute, but I hope more character-based humour is coming rather than just sight gags. The strip integrating both subtly are the best.
Phantom: …AUUUUUGH! I leave this one to all the parents to rip apart.
Terry in Silver Spring
November 13th, 2009 at 10:32 am
MW: Of course, Scott’s recovery is due to his hearing Adrian’s voice. Has nothing to do with being in a hospital and receiving medical care.
Niall
November 13th, 2009 at 10:37 am
Augh! Sorry… (if Josh or Uncle Lumpy can delete the first one, that’d be great)
Niall
November 13th, 2009 at 10:38 am
30. Terry in Silver Spring: Actually, I can’t say we’ve seen any medical care in the strip so far, either…
anonymous
November 13th, 2009 at 10:38 am
Zippy the Pinhead: PEPSI IS A REPUB DRINK. (or at least a blue state drink.) Pepsi is flat, weak, and CHEAP and is the #1 choice of the destitute Pubbie rednecks who worship Sarah Palin, etc. They buy cheap Pepsi 12-packs at Walmart to wash down their Doritos and Ho-Hos. They don’t have the money or tastebuds to aspire to Coke. (this doesn’t necessarily apply to fundies who live in Georgia, where they MUST, by law, buy Coke.)
Mary Worth: So that ugly ‘doctor’ doesn’t know enough that unconscious patients can still hear? What an idiot.
B. Racoon
November 13th, 2009 at 10:43 am
Most raccoons I know do not have any concept of “Lunch.” It’s usually just “Food Time” or “Not Food Time.”
Besides, if you see a raccoon standing like that, clutching a fish and smiling, he’s about to be up to no good.
Just a warning.
GotFuzzy
November 13th, 2009 at 11:00 am
BAKA GAIJIN!
Extreme clown close-up alert! I repeat–extreme clown close-up alert!
That is all.
AMC
November 13th, 2009 at 11:07 am
MT – See ya later, alligator.
Yes, if there was any doubt, when he named his dog “Sassy” and nicknamed it “Sweetie” – you’re gay, Rusty. Got that whole ‘closet’ thing out of the way early.
Not that there is anything wrong with being gay.
Unlike naming your dog Sassy and yelling “Sweetie” at it in a place where you better damn well paddle faster if you hear banjo music….
Of course, on the plus side for Rusty, no one’s ever going to tell him he has a purty mouth.
Dingo
November 13th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Every time someone thanks Mary Worth, she bursts into orgasm. Then again, this being Mary Worth, I bet she calls it “the tingle.”
Steve S
November 13th, 2009 at 11:19 am
To be fair, there’s nothing about that fish to indicate it’s alive. It would look exactly the same, for example, if the raccoon had bashed it over the head with a rock after catching it. Not that a raccoon would do such a thing, unless it was a particularly kind raccoon.
DAS
November 13th, 2009 at 11:21 am
Speaking of cross-overs, what would have happened if Calvin asked his father about Pluggers? I suspect the answer would go something like this:
Well, during the 19th century in the more agrarian parts of our nation, due to decades of loneliness and isolation, a race of human/animal hybrids emerged. They, especially their elderly, are known as “Pluggers” because, due to their innards being drawn together from what are fundamentally incompatible body plans, they are prone, as they age, to increasingly extreme constipation. Thus, they require copious amounts of medication to remain even remotely healthy. During the 20th century, increased urbanization brought Pluggers into the cities to work in factories. Now, Pluggers constitute a major portion of both the rural and urban working class in large swaths of the Upper South and the Midwest.
Muffaroo
November 13th, 2009 at 11:23 am
Crock – It’s funny because he’s wearing a beret and he’ll be gunned down while tied to a giant loaf of French bread. What I mean is, if it was funny, that’d be why.
Judge – Good hit, Sam! You knocked the upper case out of him.
Luann – That’s amazing — and Tiffany hasn’t even started in yet. She’s just sitting on a chair.
Mark – “Quiet, Sassy! I can’t hear myself think.”
Mary – “Yes, my non-stop three-day marathon talking to Scott not only got him out of bed, he actually got up and ran right out of the hospital!”
Pluggers – Only a plugger would have, you know, stuff in his pockets.
By the way, it’s almost time to pay Plugger Tax. Everybody who’s been defined as a plugger in two or more strips is required to pay $57.90 by the end of this month. Send your check (send no stamps!), payable to Muffaroo, to the House of Muffaroo, PIttsford, NY 14534.
Prickly – I keep waiting for the day there’s just two arms hanging from the wire, and nothing else.
MolyBendum @6 – Pepsi is for those who think young. In 1968.
Jen
November 13th, 2009 at 11:24 am
Meanwhile, Funky Winkerbean has gone straight to suicide watch. Or will it be murder-suicide? Stay tuned!
bats :[
November 13th, 2009 at 11:25 am
2. AhClem: absolutely! The rest are just living off the comic strip dole.
survivor
November 13th, 2009 at 11:27 am
Baldo – “‘Y-y-you’ll invite some over’? B-b-but, we’re funny people, too … right? I mean, who’s funnier in the neighborhood than us? I suppose there’s nothing left for us to do than to just stare in silence in your living room … away from all those funny people you’re about to invite over for laughs. *sniff* *sniff*”
Baldo is unbelievably cruel today. At least have the common decency to insult the comic strip characters standing around in your living room quietly so that they can’t hear what you’re saying.
Danny Lilithborne
November 13th, 2009 at 11:34 am
Mary Worth: Either Adrian dropped dead, her corpse was stuffed and injected with nanites that allowed it to move by itself as one of the undead, or this artist really sucks.
Mibbitmaker
November 13th, 2009 at 11:35 am
BBailey: Drums that look like Keith Moon just got finished with ‘em.
Curtis: Does the tedious lecture finally end tomorrow? PLEASE?
DT: Ew, creepy!
FW: Ooh, this just keeps getting better and better! (OW! Sarcasm cramp, sarcasm cramp…!)
GT: Are those jersey numbers painted on by a child using a housepainting brush?
JP: yeah……..right…..
Luann: Well, ladies, go spend some tours of duty in Iraq and/or Afghanistan — oh, and age a few years first, as well — then maybe we’ll talk about cheering you up, too…
MT: “….. I think I hear a narration in the distance…….”
MC: You think being a Tex Avery character is easy??
OBH: Way to get started on the ol’ abusive relationship, kids!
Ghost-Who-Takes-Off: “If he stays here, he’ll just take care of us! And what kind of father would that be…?”
RMMD: Or, oh, I dunno, maybe NOT an “extortionist” AT ALL…..?!! (fucking prick)
S-M: “…repeat, bank robbery by Sandman, not like anyone else could be involved or anything, like, say, a ringleader of something. Over.”
Cranky
November 13th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Hagar knows that to look down is to see the pantsless. Keep staring straight ahead, fearless Viking. Do not look down.
NoahSnark
November 13th, 2009 at 11:43 am
Poor, socially awkward, Ziggy. It looks like the other guests in Baldo did not respond well to his proposal for a spontaneous hentai.
Professor Fate
November 13th, 2009 at 11:46 am
MW: And of course right now the blood clot in Scott’s leg has detached and is speeding towards his heart like a torpedo. Nice knowing you Scott.
FW: “Nobody move or my butt gets it!”
Sounds about right for the funkyverse.
Luann – I can’t decide to be annoyed at Luann or creeped out the circle of leering – Gabba Gabba we accept you! We accept you -One of us1
Artist formerly known as Ben
November 13th, 2009 at 11:48 am
11/13
Baldo: Jason Fox and Lio are funny, I’ll give you that. Broom Hilda is insane, which counts for something. The others are baffling choices. Even Hagar has no idea why they called him up.
JP: I can only assume that what we’re seeing now is how Sam told the story later. In the actual event, Biff there threw him headfirst at a tree and he wept all the way home.
RMMD: Not stupid, exactly. Cue is just naive. He assumes nursing home administrators are honorable.
DtM: Dennis? Not menacing. Henry’s rubber pants and cummerbund? Menacing as all hell. What the hell kind of party are he and Alice going to, anyway?
MC: Cartoon physics is a bitch.
GT: Unfortunately Jamarr Gaddis is running on the wrong field, in a completely different town, and his points are voided.
DT: If I want to see questionable woman/black-tongued tiger erotica, I’ll look in the hentai section, thankyouverymuch.
Agnes: Tony Cochran doesn’t really draw Agnes as if she has “amazing thighs.” On balance that’s probably for the best.
Luann: Raising the question: Do men in prison for statutory get more respect if they’re also veterans? I wouldn’t be eager to find out firsthand.
FW: All note, Wally Winkerbean does not blow his daughter’s head off today. Batiuk must be keeping that one for February sweeps.
A3G: Dinner with a patient now. Inevitably, Ari will lose his license. Meaning that he’ll have to go all the way down to Kinlo’s and print up a new one.
Beetle: Yes Beetle, you know how much skill Sarge has at playing *ahem* wind instruments.
bourbon babe, unbuckled (nee buckyswife)
November 13th, 2009 at 11:50 am
A3G: It’s already become clear that the way “Dr.” Papagoras practices psychiatry, “Do you want to talk about it?” and “Have dinner with me” pretty much amount to the same thing: A quick exchange of prescription medicine, inebriation, Ari’s hopeful gropings, and the object of his desire screaming obscenities into the phone soon after. At least in the latter option, she gets a free meal out of it.
MW: Look up “disingenuous” in the dictionary, and you’ll see this illustration of Mary, open-mouthed with surprise at the idea that she gave advice. (More interesting is that Jeff has sufficiently come out of his usual stupor to be thinking, “Bullshit, you wrinkled harpy.”
MT: “Sweetie“? I think that Mark’s admonition to be Quiet is so that every swamp denizen doesn’t learn what a friggin’ girly-wimp this kid is.
There really is only one good outcome for this story at this point: Rusty hears Sassy’s frantic barking and runs through the well-manicured swamp to rescue her. He trips over the rope that ties her, and the gator quickly realizes that here’s a larger, albeit malformed, meal. Mark, busily punching various side-burned passersby, doesn’t realize that Rusty is being dragged into the murky water. By the time the poachers lie dazed and helpless, a few muddy bubbles are the only evidence that Rusty ever existed. Spent with the exhaustion of frenzied, orgasmic punching, Mark gathers Sassy, idly wondering whatever happened to that kid who was already hanging around…. “What was his name? Musty? Crusty? ….. Hmmm… maybe Cherry will have pancakes when I get home…”
The Modesto Kid
November 13th, 2009 at 11:57 am
Oh my god, I had forgotten all about Brümhilde until seeing this Baldo! Is that mess even still published? If so, how come we don’t see more of it in The Comix Curmudgeon?…
Chupper
November 13th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
It won’t be a real barrel of laughs until the Funky Winkerbean crossover when Ziggy shows up and gets cancer. At least I’d laugh at that.
commodorejohn
November 13th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
BB – Really, what do you say to a strip like this? There’s not a lot to be added.
DT – Dick Tracy has moved from its usually slight offness to profoundly unsettling in that last panel. I imagine that’s supposed to be a tongue, but I swear to God it looks like some sort of evil ichor snaking out of the gullet of the possessed cat to pierce (her?) skull. God, even the clown isn’t as disturbing.
FB – What’s the penalty for public whimsy in the UK? Do you just get taken home by a bobby (who has an Irish or Scotch accent no matter where you are in the country?)
FW – Okay, this is seriously getting pretty hilarious. I doubt Batiuk has the stones to actually go through with this, but it’s incredibly funny how it keeps following our every prediction.
JP – Aw, poop. I do like the elegantly-lettered “Uhh!” though.
Luann – Grarghlflrngl.
MT – Oh, come on. The alligator appears to be only about twice Sassy’s size. Also, Mark has super-hearing.
MW – I think Adrian is the only person I’ve ever seen with two lazy eyes.
MC – This was pretty chuckle-worthy, but I have to admit I was a little distracted by Maureen in a black dress (with natural matching gloves, at that.) *contented sigh*
RMMD – HE’S NOT A GODDAMN EXTORTIONIST YOU ASSHOLE.
SFx – Josh, Josh, Josh. Did the late great Steve Irwin teach you nothing? Say it with me: “that’s Nature’s way.”
SM – “Now where do you want me to hang this lampshade?” “Ah, just stick it anywhere.”
Artist formerly known as Ben
November 13th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
#30 anonymous,
I’m pretty sure they call Republican states Red States. As for the rest of your commentary… Mm, I can’t really piece it together.
MolyBendum
November 13th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Muffaroo @ 37 Yeap, I get your point. Sometimes I still get a kick out of Zippy, in a loopy, I-didn’t-sleep-enough kind of way. Not really today, though, I just wondered if the political ramifications of one’s soft drink choice were well known to everyone except me. I don’t drink soda/pop and drink diet if I have to, so I’m safe either way. I hope.
B. Racoon
November 13th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
bourbon babe, unbuckled – Tonight, you, me, lots of merlot and bourbon. My log, bring chains.
bats :[
November 13th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
Oh, Josh! Maybe you’d realize the value that raccoons have in the Wild Kingdom before dissing them! Namely, pest eradication and seduction. It’s no wonder they are alternately referred to as “Nature’s Little Orkin Man” and “Nature’s Casanova”…
Mibbitmaker
November 13th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
Baldo, again: They should get Margo, Sam, Rex (wherever the hell he is), Les Moore, Mary Worth, Coach Kaz, Mark Trail, and Dick Tracy (in close-up) there instead. Then there could be unintentional laughs.
Muffaroo
November 13th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
survivor @40 – If “Sam’s Strip” taught us anything, it’s that the way to handle cartoon guest stars in your strip is to have them stand around doing absolutely nothing except perhaps looking at the audience. If it taught us anything else, it’s that this is funny about one in 250 times.
Artist formerly known as Ben
November 13th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
#48 Modesto Kid,
The Houston Chronicle is the source of most comics that get snarked here, and they don’t carry poor HIlda. I know the WaPo does, though.
Mibbitmaker
November 13th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
#52 (MolyBendum): I dunno… if you drink diet soda of neither Coke nor Pepsi brand, you might end up hanging from a long string staying in the center. As a coyote.
Thursday Next
November 13th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
Luann–makes me think of Arrested Development where Lindsay keeps visiting her father in jail in more and more inappropriate clothes to validate her opinion of herself. If memory serves, she ends up wearing a shirt that says Slut on it.
Sequitur
November 13th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Baldo – I’m afraid Ziggy poops the party. He’ll just bum out Sergio instead of making him laugh.
Old School Allie Cat
November 13th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Luann – The soldier to the left of Tiffany looks like an African American Brad. It’s more than a little odd. Sort of a reverse Sammy Sosa, if you will.
FW – Wally needs to get together with Nate, the school principal who hallucinates about his time in ‘Nam every 4th of July when he hears fireworks. Then both of them need to leave this strip, head over to Doonesbury and let Elias work some mojo on them.
A3G – Less Bobbie, More Margo. Hell, more Tommie even.
GilThorp – Sometimes, I think this strip is written in Esperanto. I understand just enough to think I speak it, but as it turns out, it’s more like that time my sister got drunk and thought she was speaking French, but was really speaking English with a fake French accent.
Mollie
November 13th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
I see little Shae Lankin has been watching this “How to Draw Asian Women” instructional video. She could teach that guy a thing or two.
Dude...wait...what?
November 13th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
I can only hope Tia Carmen hits Ziggy with a frying pan
Patrick
November 13th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
I love how the “How To Draw” instructions in Slylock Fox are always the same three steps: 1. Draw the perfect outline of something. 2. Fill in smaller details. 3. Finish with professional color and shading.
It’s as if the artist is taunting kids. “What, you can’t draw it after I showed you how? What are you, STUPID?”
Alan's Addiction
November 13th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
Today’s “Slylock Fox” is highly fictionalized; anyone who has lived near a national park knows that the preferred food of raccoons everywhere is garbage. If they can’t find garbage, they’ll forage until they find… garbage. Anyways, even if we want to remove humans from the picture completely, most raccoons prefer to eat crustaceans and other freshwater invertebrates. And now I’m channeling Mark Trail, God help me.
I suspect the reason that no one’s laughing in the third panel of “Baldo” is that none of the characters pictured there are actually funny, with the notable exceptions of Jason Fox and that squid. And the squid’s only funny because there’s a slim chance he might eat Ziggy after mistaking Ziggy for some monstrous deep sea creature.
Today’s “Mary Worth” somehow does the impossible and makes Adrian even more obnoxious than usual. The only upside is that we’ll get to see her destroyed as her romantic dreams are inevitably crushed.
DamienBixlan
November 13th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
MW: It’s funny you imagine that Jeff is not in the forefront of the picture, but rather a 40-feet tall giant standing right next to them, his body breaking through the many floors of the hospital.
Also, when I just woke up, I tend to think as funny things that are not.
Dan
November 13th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
I just now got that “Les Moore” is a pun. Just now!
Sequitur
November 13th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Pluggers – I always get that guy in front of me at the supermarket.
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
November 13th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
#47 bourbon babe, unbuckled (nee buckyswife):
Heh! My dear departed dad, a birder, used to call the little birds “Sweetie” while out with birding groups.
Very unselfconscious guy, but it helps when you’re 6′6″.
MT & Marm: The fish wrap was good to me this morning. I was greeted by panel 2 of Mark Trail…. Heh! …and Marmaduke staring in at the snooty, fancy-shmancy restaurant kitchen.
Laugh-out-loud weird, my friends.
Jim
November 13th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
I know this is gonna pop up here soon, but I just saw Funky Winkerbean for today and… JESUS CHRIST WHAT IS WRONG WITH TOM BATIUK?!
Black Drazon
November 13th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
I don’t have a joke for this one, I was just hoping someone could tell me where that squid (and the boy standing next to him, if different) are from? I think I know what the witch is from but I’ve never actually seen one of the strips.
Poteet
November 13th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
# 6 Molybendum — Thank you for your LUANN comments. I appreciate info from someone who knows. My brain was muttering “this is wrong,” but I didn’t know why.
Evans, it’s time to let this go. Seriously. Put Luann and her friends in college and quit mixing high school girls, older guys, and leering. You keep repeating it, and it’s getting creepier and creepier.
It's time to pay the price
November 13th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
I bet all the comic strip characters were having a great time until Ziggy showed up and reminded them that they’re all just figments of banal fiction and cease to exist outside of the panel. And then he got raped by the squid and made a pun about cellphones.
Sequitur
November 13th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
71 Black Drazon
The kid with the squid is Lio. A somewhat creepy comic that is occasionally funny.
The witch is Broom Hilda. An older strip (since 1970) that you don’t see much anymore here’s another link that gives you a taste of it.
Poteet
November 13th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
# 65 Alan’s Addiction — I heartily concur re the garbage. And in rural corn-intensive Iowa, where good grassland is scarce, raccoons really like eating the eggs of ground-nesting birds, unfortunately.
BigTed
November 13th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
“Adrian, honey, I really appreciate all your help, but it looks like you have my intravenous line wrapped around your neck for some reason, and I….” *Clunk*
Poteet
November 13th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
# 69 Spotted — I bet I would have liked your dad.
GA — I no longer like Gertie, and I never was crazy about the guy in the grave, but I wish someone would rescue Kitty and get her into a better strip.
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
November 13th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
# 6 Molybendum: Thank you for the 411. I’m relieved to learn that the military doesn’t let unescorted teenaged girls hang out with wounded GIs just “cuz they wanna.”
#72 Poteet:
He’s like a muscular bulldog with a tug toy with this whole teenager/adult titillation thing, isn’t he? He just sinks his teeth in, pulls, growls, chews.
Seriously, are Josh and the participants of his blog the only ones who think Evans is inappropriate?
Stij
November 13th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
@67: Oh man, so did I! I can’t believe I never noticed it until now. That’s…kind of depressing, actually. In the FW-verse, it would be a sure sign of early-onset dementia or brain cancer or something.
bourbon babe, unbuckled (nee buckyswife)
November 13th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
59 Thursday Next: Oh, Arrested Development, RIP. Sigh…..
69 Spotted Horse: Actually, I call my dog “Sweetie” all the time (and “Sweet Potato Pie,” and “Lolly-Poopers,” and a whole host of other nicknames). But then, I’m not an 8-year-old boy. (I mean, what 8-year-old boy has ever uttered the endearment “sweetie”?)
bourbon babe, unbuckled (nee buckyswife)
November 13th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
53 B. Racoon: Hmmm… with accoutrements like those, perhaps I should plan to miss work Monday morning…..
tb4000
November 13th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Luann: Evans, if you are leading up to these soldiers running a train on Miss Farrell, carry on, dawg.
Batman Beatles
November 13th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
MW – Don’t be so surprised Mary.
tb4000
November 13th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
I was going to call this ep. of Luann Call of Duty: Modern Whorefare 2, but….
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
November 13th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
#77 Poteet: Yup, I think you would’ve liked my dad! He called the monster that menaced Captain Kirk “The Groin”.
#79 bourbon babe: Heh! I have many endearments for my cat, including “Swee-wee”, which is a combination of “sweetie”, “sweet pea”, and “pee-wee”. The sissy/goofus boat done sailed for me a long time ago, although I certainly didn’t talk all mushy like that when I was 8! Or for that matter, I’m sure that neither did my dad.
Lawyerbob
November 13th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
Adrian has the same hair style as my six-year-old niece. That’s really not a fair comparison, because my niece is much smarter and more sophisticated.
Niall
November 13th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
YY97. Andrew Leal: Yes, the reference was watership Down, but it’s no surprise you would know it. :)
Yay Paperback Rifler! I don’t know the Rolling Stones original song, but your parody scans perfectly – as they always do. Wonderful!
50. commodorejohn: on FW, it is double funny because FW is all finished and drawn at least a year ahead… I’ll give you on Maureen, but still wonder how well Ashley dresses up – the wedding outfit did not count as she was maid of honour and didn’t choose it.
53. B. Racoon: so you’re providing whips?
tymime
November 13th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Let’s poke fun at one of your readers! That’s even better!
Seriously Josh, WHAT THE HELL? I wouldn’t be even saying anything if you hadn’t added the obviously sarcastic “noble”. If it weren’t for that, I might have even thought of this as an apology, but you had to make fun of me. I can’t believe you’d stoop so low.
I wouldn’t be surprised at all if a raccoon carried around its nearly-dead prey before eating it. It’s nature, after all. Even cats, wild and domestic, will play with its prey by batting it around while its still capable of running but unable to escape. If you were really all that sympathetic about prey, I’d say that was worse, but I’m sure you don’t have a fear and hatred of cats. What you think of as “slander” in Slylock is just nature’s way!
If I didn’t value the wonderful laughs you give me everyday, I’d likely leave this blog in an angry huff, because this seriously crosses the line.
Gal Friday
November 13th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
MW: Adrian displays her rock, which is what she’s really thankful for.
Larry Fine
November 13th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
FC — Jeffy is attempting to deflect blame, a skill that no doubt will serve him well in the workplace.
B. Racoon
November 13th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Niall @87 – You’d be surprised what can be done with a pussy willow.
Trix
November 13th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
I read Broom Hilda every sunday on the wa po page. Because of ,yes, the total insanity. Amusing…sometimes. Have done so ,yikes, 30 years! Never read Zippy the
Pinhead. Was amazed to find Nancy still in syndication. Luann is creeping me out on so many levels, none of them funny. Stupider and stupider.
“Adrien and the two lazy eyes”. BCOW!
Government Cheese
November 13th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Luann: Look at the soldier on the left with the angry grin. Now look at his posture. He looks like just a put in an order and is just waiting for the delivery. Now that’s the perv of the group.
Gal Friday
November 13th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
JP: Sam, those are some fugly loafers you’ve got on.
JustAGuyGuy
November 13th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
AH! FOURTH WALL! AHHHHH!!!
queek
November 13th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
74: Amusingly enough, she’s also appeared recently in Weapon Brown.
Sequitur
November 13th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
96. queek
Actually, that my be “Broom”’s cousin, “Lawnmower.”
Artist formerly known as Ben
November 13th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
#72 poteet,
To be fair, Evans mixes high school girls, older guys, moralizing and PSA moralizing. That takes finesse, and Evans most definitely lacks it.
RJ the Janitor
November 13th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
I still haven’t found my cousin Rufus. Every Friday night he gets Melba and we go out and do stuff. I was gonna ask Poteet to join us but he and his fool cat are missing.
Peripheral Visionary
November 13th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
OK, some nit-picks. I know this is the comics and all, but, well, I’m bored.
Luann Re: MolyBendum. The military hospital the author is probably thinking of is Walter Reed, which being just within the city limits of DC is often visited by the locals, some of whom, including friends of mine, do in fact make regular visits and befriend the soldiers there. I even have some female friends who have visited and, as in today’s strip, had plenty of wounded veterans who were very eager for a chat. I will agree, however, that underage girls wandering the place is probably right out.
RMMD: With respect to his legal troubles, our good friend Cue already has attempted robbery to worry about. I think there is also a case to be made for false imprisonment, given that he has used intimidation (and a bit of alcohol) to keep the elderly folks in place. As such, demanding payment for returning them to their caregivers may amount to extortion, as it is backed by the threat of harm to the elderly folks, who are unable to care for themselves. At the very least, he’s facing criminal negligence for not promptly returning them to their caregivers, and demanding a lump sum isn’t going to make his case any better.
Zippy: I must point out that, as a microcephalic, Zippy really doesn’t have much by way of lobes to speak of. And that is the last time I will spend even two cycles of neuron time to thinking about Zippy, other than to second the call for a Funky Winkerbean/Zippy the Pinhead crossover, which would be a thing of terror and beauty.
Anonymous
November 13th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
@6 re Coke v Pepsi. i don’t know about political leanings but once we were visiting my mom’s family, inveterate Pepsi drinkers, in Illinois (rural town west of Aurora now considered a suburb of Chicago) around 1986 and we had put some of our Coke cans in their fridge. one of my cousins saw them and asked “whose communist cola is this in the fridge?” i just about lost a lung laughing at that one.
Charterstoned
November 13th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
MW – No, my dear, you misunderstood. I urged you to talk UNTIL he was unconscious. I find it works best that way. As William Shakespeare put it, “Sleep that knits up the ravelled sleeve of care
The death of each day’s life, sore labour’s bath
Balm of hurt minds, great nature’s second course,
Chief nourisher in life’s feast.” Or, to put it another way, “In Sleep we lie all naked and alone, in Sleep we are united at the heart of night and darkness, and we are strange and beautiful asleep; for we are dying the darkness and we know no death.” I think it was Thomas Wolfe who wrote that. Or no, was it Virginia Woolf? No, I think it was she who said, “You cannot find peace by avoiding life.” But you know, dear, I think you CAN! Aldo is at peace now, and he’s dead, right? That’s about the greatest avoidance of life you can come up with, don’t you agree? Anyway, dear, if Scott’s awake, my advice to you is to go back to him. Go to him, now, Adrian, and talk to him. Talk to him, it’s that simple. I know, I know, “The dead might as well try to speak to the living as the old to the young.” That’s a favorite quote of mine from a favorite writer, Willa Cather. Yes, but sometimes the dead DO speak, Adrian, just as I’m speaking to you now. Even Aldo has spoken to me, even if only in my dreams, but if he were here now I know his advice would be to talk until Scott is good an unconscious! Of course, if you’d rather talk about it first, why, I’m happy to help you in any way I can!
Bart
November 13th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
MT: Actually, I really admire Sassy’s spunk. Just look at her straining against the leach to get her “Paws-O-Justice on that gator thingie. I predict sideburns drawn on the gator for tomorrow’s panels.
Marion Delgado
November 13th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
The Spectacular Spider-Brick:
I suppose we can’t expect someone who never even went to Juilliard to understand the negligee concept. Just think the third Rachmaninoff concerto … oh, why do Brooke and I even bother trying to lift the cultural standards of the Philistines?
;)
Ms.X
November 13th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
The message of today’s Baldo: Laugh, or you might end up like Ziggy.
Marion Delgado
November 13th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
Bart:
You’re probably right, because Sassy is only a puppy. But I prefer to think Sassy’s made a considered decision that the cruel jaws of the gator are a vastly superior fate compared to a continued existence enslaved to the child-thing-that-doesn’t-smell right and the crazy larger-persons in hurtful, inexplicable Lost Forest.
David B
November 13th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
Far be it from me to criticize the artistic realism of Mary Worth, but either the perspective’s off or Adrian’s carrying the longest stethoscope i have seen in my life. And we all know it can’t be a perspective error. Not in Mary Worth. Right?
Calico
November 13th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
I’m fairly snarkless today, but I found this really funny, fake or not:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5A_c2of5CU&feature=rec-HM-rev-rn
(Anyone remember the recent discussion here about cats and gas?)
Sequitur
November 13th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
BAKA GAIJIN!
love is… CLOWN ALERT! CLOWN ALERT!
Oh, wait. That’s just lil’ nekid gal putting on makeup.
Hank
November 13th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
RE: anonymous political trolling at November 13th, 2009 at 10:38 am and November 13th, 2009 at 1:58 pm. We try and keep the political trash talk out of the comments section. Which I suspect you already knew, given that you posted anonymously. Now go drink your white wine spritzer and shut the hell up. ;)
Joe Blevins
November 13th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
MW: Talking to him while he’s unconscious? Haw, haw! That’ll be great practice for when they’re actually married!
Because, see, he’ll inevitably try to leave her, but she’ll poison him and keep his body in her house for years, just like in that Faulkner story.
Hank
November 13th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
RE: Funky Winkerbean. If Batuik has the stones to just go ahead and have Wally start fatally shooting everyone in that horrible strip I take back everything bad I ever said about him.
Calico
November 13th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
#111 – “A Rose for Adrain.”
Kind of has a nice *ring* to it, haw haw.
Ah, well, at least she’s not compulsively touching her face today.
Sequitur
November 13th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
FW: I’m looking at that handgun Wally takes out of the drawer. It looks a little like a compact 45 but with such a small bore it’s probally just a pellet gun. Not much dangerous than a BB gun.
But one could put an eye out with it.
AirForbes
November 13th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Williethompson has a good point – Adrian is wearing the ring on the wrong finger. Is this an attempt to double-cross Scott (”I’m wearing your ring” – well, yes, technically), or is she just too dumb to know she’s got the wrong finger?
#5 – Spectacular Spider Brick: Cepheid variables = comedy gold.
Bootsy
November 13th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Sassy’s barks are so frantic she has bark lines coming from her mouth! That’s some frantic yapping. Grin, gator, grin!
troy macgregor
November 13th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Oh that’s not wide-eyed horror Herb’s exhibiting in the third panel of Baldo, he’s actually being goosed by Lio’s squid monster!
Sequitur
November 13th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
117. troy macgregor
I hate it when that happens.
Bitter Scribe
November 13th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
Fish don’t have a choice about being wide-eyed, do they? I mean, do fish even have eyelids?
Buck Ripsnort
November 13th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
#11– Spunde– 16 year old girls ARE sex objects– that’s why we have, y’know laws. As for Tiffany being a sex object this week, how does that differ from EVERY OTHER WEEK in this strip? Admit it, you’d rather see Wally in Stunky Cancerbean hitting on a 16-yr old than shooting her, as today’s strip implies.
bourbon babe, unbuckled (nee buckyswife)
November 13th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
91 B. Racoon: Yep, definitely not making it in to work on Monday…..
Hank
November 13th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
RE: Buck Ripsnort says, November 13th, 2009 at 3:05 pm, Funky, LuAnn Admit it, you’d rather see Wally in Stunky Cancerbean hitting on a 16-yr old than shooting her, as today’s strip implies.Given that the sixteen-year-old in Funky is Wally’s daughter, no. Besides, we already have Les for that.
Buck Ripsnort
November 13th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Hey, veterans– which is the more insulting portrayal: ephebofile horndogs, as in Luann, or PTSD shooters on a hair-trigger, as in FW? And given the events at Ft Hood, will any newspaper have the guts to actually run the probable end of this FW?
Anonymous
November 13th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
5(Spider-Brick) re stars: I’m fear that someday Barnard is going to send us all letters charging us for looking at/naming/referring to his star.
cheech wizard
November 13th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
FW – “It’s ok, Ranni, I’m fine. Go on home. But say…could you ask that faithless whore you call a mother to stop by and check on me as well? Thanks.”
Rob
November 13th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
Good lesson in Gasoline Alley today, sometimes when you think you’ve seen a ghost its really just a dirty redneck in a hole
UncleJeff
November 13th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
Today’s “Pluggers” idea comes from a town not far from where I live!
Stockholm, WI overlooks lovely Lake Pepin and during the summer is an interesting mix of elderly farmers, old hippies and young’uns who just love their arts and crafts. A few bikers pass through as well. I haven’t seen any giant chicken-ladies or bears wearing gimme-caps.
MolyBendum
November 13th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
100 Peripheral – Yes, I assumed he’s talking about Walter Reed as well. If Luann was about 20-something amputee fetishists who enjoy wandering into military hospitals and getting stumped, I would have said drive on, Greg, and continued ignoring it. Well, no, actually I’d probably like that strip more.
(Anyone over 18 with a valid state ID can go on most army posts and “visit” the soldiers there, during visiting hours.)
Crankshafts Funky Smelling Corpse
November 13th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
FW: Awwwww, no shooting the Rana in the face by mistake? And note the door–Wally is holed up in some shit-hole of a welfare motel. Maybe Rana will get assaulted by other unsavory characters on her way out.
Luann: I think Evans is conflating “military” hospital with “Veterans Administration” hospital. And although it flows glacially, I’m not sure that Luann and her friends are 16 anymore. I actually think they’re older now. Probably still jail bait though.
Crankshaft: Anybody notice how Crank’s WWII service is never mentioned anymore? I guess it would be unseemly to have an 89 year-old still driving a school bus, eh?
Simonana
November 13th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
Wow, Adrian actually looks semi-attractive (or perhaps just semi-human?) in that second panel. Probably because it’s the first time we’ve seen her hair look like anything other than a Cleopatra wig made by an eight-year-old.
The Mighty Captain E
November 13th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
#35 Steve S – Well, this being the comics realm, most of us would recognize a dead animal by dint of it having big X’s instead of eyes. That fish is very much alive (in the comics sense) and that is indisputable. What is disputable is the state of mind (such as it is) of this comic fish. It may be gasping with alarm, but it might also be in the throes of ecstacy or feeling nothing at all. It depends on whether those droplets are Cathy-brand anxiety sweat droplets (which would actually be arcing upwards), emissions of an ejaculatory nature (which would be arcing backwards and downwards), or simply excess water dripping off the fish (the more likely alternative).
Wait a second!?!?!? Did I just take time out of my life to type that? I want that back!!!!
Crankenstank
November 13th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
Baldo’s going all meta on us, but not in the way proposed above: Dad has clearly realized the meaningless artificial constructed hell he is in, and is staring, along with his fellow suddenly-self-aware characters, into the dark two-dimensional abyss that is their existence. The artist probably had the same epiphany recently, likely after reading an article about how the sun’s going to explode in just a few billion years, and Baldo, Baldo’s world, and Baldo’s own god/creator will be reduced to entropic goo spreading across the dying universe. YEP, THAT’S WHY WE HAVE THE FUNNY PAPERS, alright! TO LAUGH!
Mary Worth Discussion Group
November 13th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
Check out Adrian’s creepy hand! is wearing her engagement ring on the middle finger some sort of Lebian SOS meant for Terry Bryson?
commodorejohn
November 13th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
#87 Niall – I’m no expert, but I don’t think the simple-yet-elegant look Maureen’s got going on today would work for Ashley; I imagine she’d do something a little more counter-culturey for “dressing up,” but the fact that my knowledge of countercultures is pretty much limited to the 1960s leaves me without much information to speculate on.
Aviatrix
November 13th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
Judge Parker gives us the best comic strip punch in the jaw ever. “I.D. .. Back pocket,” is by itself a pretty good reply to a chokehold enhanced “who are you?” but follow it up with a kick to the shin and a panel-sweeping punch and this is better than bazongas. Savour that third panel. Wow! If brown-suited hulk had had any facial hair it would be in the next county by now.
@131 Captain E: And here I was thinking that the distinction was the lack of head wound. But speaking of head wounds …
Mary Worth Are we sure Adrian is a doctor? She has the lab coat and stethoscope as props, but has she shown any other indication of belonging to the medical profession? “Scott woke up and spoke to me!” sounds more like the response of a six year old than of a doctor.
Or maybe her pathetic weakness is a show to cover her more sinister motives. Think about it: Scott regains consciousness and instead of calling his primary care physician, Adrian “checks” his IV line and then cautions others not to disturb him, because he is “groggy.” It only remains for us to discover: is she going to kill him on account of her cloudy understanding of cop salaries and US inheritance laws, or has she discovered an intense fetish of tending to her helpless lover, and wishes to ensure it remain ever thus?
exapno
November 13th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
6. 101 Yes, there actually IS a political slant to the Coke/Pepsi wars – After losing the 1960 election to Kennedy, Our Pal Dick Nixon worked as a lawyer for PepsiCo. There is quite a bit of evidence that shows that what soft drink has the White House ‘franchise’ (i.e. the machines in the office space, what is stocked wherever the President is, etc)is totally due to who is sitting in residence there.
Nixon, of course, was a Pepsi guy, and so was Ford.
Carter, naturally replaced all the Pepsi with his hometown Coke
Reagan, Bushes I&II both had Pepsi
and Clinton and Obama are Coke people – in fact, there was a documentary on Air Force One, in which they showed Obama riding it for the first time after the election, and he asked for a diet Coke..and the attendant apologized and said all they had was Pepsi, to which Obama said – “For now, you mean!”
Rob
November 13th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
I’ve been reading Dick Tracey for three darn month now. I don’t even care anymore who it is, but somebody better get eaten by that damn tiger soon.
Larry Fine
November 13th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
DT — “Pops! Can you crawl out?”
“Yeah, but it’ll take me a while. It took me three days to fall in here, you know.”
KarMann
November 13th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
@Dan #67 & @Stij #79: It gets even worse. As far as I know, the origin of the name would be a tombstone in Tombstone, Boot Hill cemetery, which cheerfully reads:
Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les No More.
Ties in nicely with today’s Groovy, doesn’t it?
I heard a similar version of that back in elementary school, but didn’t realize until Googling just now that it was based on an actual tombstone. Now that I know, and find that it’s just a few miles away, I may have to go and bring back pictures for my fellow Mudges.
Fashion Police
November 13th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
We are not surprised Mrs. D’Vito’s goon saw through Mr. Driver’s facade straight away. Those brown loafers – and especially the baby-blue socks – just scream “bad side of town” while the grey suit whispers “Brioni.” Not a salable combination.
Brown shoes can be dashing with a grey suit, but they shouldn’t look as though they came from the discount warehouse.
Rachel K Zall
November 13th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
I love the subtlety of the third panel of Baldo, leaving implied the collective thought balloon that reads, “Wait, they think my strip is as unfunny as that guy’s/squid’s/Ziggy?”
kkarenb
November 13th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
FW – Does Wally recognize his daughter? Doesn’t he have face-recognition impairment – or was that a one-time-only plot device?
RMMD – Now that the police are involved, is this – I hestitate to use the technical term “story” – finally creaking to a conclusion? Incidentally, this month marks the one year anniversary of the cruise – which means TWO story arcs in the past year.
Dr. Krude&Rude
November 13th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
It was time for a new suit so I went over to my local haberdashery and called on my old buddy, Sid. “Sid” I said, “I could use a new suit.”
“Got just what you need, Dr. K.” he replied.
Just then I look over to my left and who so I see but Ziggy.
“Ziggy, old boy.” I exclaim. “You don’t have any pants! Is that why you’re here?”
The Zigster looks up hopefully and say, “Oh, yes, doctor. I am in great expectation of receiving a pair of trousers!”
I was pondering why Ziggy was speaking like Peter Lorre when I noticed Sid standing behind Ziggy and slowly and sadly shaking his head.
I excused myself from Ziggy. Sid and I go off in a corner. “Why are you shaking your head, Sid?” I whispered.
“Doc, there’s just no pants on this planet that will fit that guy.” Sid whispered back.
“Hmmm.” I hmmmmed. “Hey, Ziggy! Pull up that tunic and let me have a look. After all, I am a doctor.”
“Well, if I must.” Lorred Ziggy.
“Please.” I answered.
Well, let me tell you. I hadn’t seen an ass in front since I saw the movie Spaceballs.
“I’m sorry, Zig old boy. There just aren’t any pants around that will work with you.”
Ziggy droped his tunic and slowly and dejectedly walked to the exit of the store.
“Ziggy.” I called. “I got to know, what with decency laws and all, how come a cop has never picked you up?”
“They don’t tend to look this low.” He replied.
Well, Sid fixed me up with a real nice $800 suit he let me have for just under 600 bucks. When I got back to the office I had my secretary make out a bill to send to Ziggy.
Hey, someone’s got to pay for this suit.
Calico
November 13th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
#90 – Mommy Keane is angry because PJ just desecrated the family Bible, and Jeffy told him to do it.
Stij
November 13th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
@130: You actually thought that Adrian looked attractive in today’s MW? I’m….I’m not sure what to think about that, honestly.
@139: Haha, oh wow. If you could find pics of that, that would be awesome.
tymime
November 13th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
Yes, well, the raccoon looks awfully cute doing it. I don’t apologize for thinking that.
Uncle Ritzy Fritz
November 13th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
MW: Today the role of “Doctor” Adrian will be played by “comedian” Emo Phillips.
Soccerhead
November 13th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
GT: Dylan Bauza powerwalks 20 yards for the first down!
BB: Rocky’s arm is in a strange position.
KarMann
November 13th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
@kkarenb #142: Re FW: I thought that at first, too, but if Rana calls him “Dad”, at that point, I suppose he should be able to figure out who it is.
Now, under the circumstances, I still don’t know how she got as far as “Dad” before he pulled out a gun, wondering who this person he doesn’t recognize is.
Gal Friday
November 13th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
In defense of Adrian: In the long ago past, the middle finger was considered the direct path to the heart, so to speak, so engagement rings or love tokens used to be worn there more often than they are today.
Sequitur
November 13th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
150. Gal Friday
Oh, now I get it. Adrian lives in the long ago past.
Donald the Anarchist
November 13th, 2009 at 5:18 pm
MW Consider the probability that Adrian looks even worse without makeup. Of course, perhaps she merely appears non-descript. Plain would be a step up from what we’re seeing here.
Sequitur
November 13th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
Adrian with makeup.
Sequitur
November 13th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
Me @153 – Um, that should be “without”
Laocoon
November 13th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
Hagar’s stare towards us readers seems to say he knows fully of the hell in which he is eternally trapped
Baka Gaijin
November 13th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
#32 GotFuzzy: Whew! Thanks.
#109 Sequitur: That’s close enough for me. AAAAAAaaaaaahhh!
yaoi huntress earth
November 13th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
FW: I get it. Wally Jr will be the victim. I’m going with drunken molestation.
Mars
November 13th, 2009 at 5:44 pm
Weird, there’s no “apologies to so and so” notation on the Baldo strip. I thought editors were adamant about that.
Speaking of crossovers, I hear Baldo recently crossed over with a webcomic (Yenny by Dave Alvarez). Look that sequence up for more fun….
Brad the Bold
November 13th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
DT: At first I was disapointed that after a 10 days of slow falling into the tiger pit, Pops seems to be escaping unmauled. However we have some tiger on trans-man bodybuilder tounge action instead. So it’s all good.
Luann and FW: Are Batiuk and Evans in some sort of sick competition to see who can be present the pilght of Mid East campaign vets in a more hamfisted and uncomfortable manner?
Gary
November 13th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
If you want a real comics cross-over, watch what hijinks develop when Wally calls the suicide prevention hotline, tells them he’s got a handgun stuck in his butt crack, and it’s Mary Worth on the other end with about three weeks and 45 panels worth of advice. That should be long enough for Funky to find Wally’s location, break in and fall off the wagon himself by helping pound down the remaining Budweisers. It’s got a kind of Hope/Crosby road picture through the eyes of Batiuk feel to it, doesn’t it?
Bart
November 13th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
#106
Yeah.
bats :[
November 13th, 2009 at 6:17 pm
We were out shopping at several large stores on Wednesday, and it was interesting to see the number of people clustered around the sinks in the public restrooms after doing their business; evidently, the public in the metro Phoenix area is taking flu precautions seriously. Unlike the staff at Mountview Hospital.
(Yes, she really has been touching her face this much (and I’m being a bit on the conservative side) in three weeks’ worth of strips.)
Carly
November 13th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
That fish doesn’t look horrified, it looks stoned. I think the raccoon has found a more modern way to catch its prey.
I also think the Baldo comic is funny, because there’s something hilarious about people standing around staring at each other bug eyed. What really interests me, though, is that most of the characters are staring at the Baldo character- yet Hagar is staring straight at the audience in wide-eyed horror. Creepy. Maybe the jump into the future has made him in particular realize that he’s only a character in a story.
B. Racoon
November 13th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
Interesting things happen to fish when you feed them merlot.
Uncle Lumpy
November 13th, 2009 at 6:39 pm
#67 Dan –
Don’t feel bad – I was 35 when I figured out that the white puffy dandelions were the same plant as the yellow ones.
Judge Parker — OK, look at Sam’s stance: right foot in the air, left leg forward. Never mind the bodyguard — how does he not knock himself over? Have money and privilege exempted him from physical laws now?
Old School Allie Cat
November 13th, 2009 at 6:54 pm
#162 bats :[ – I spent last weekend in Indiana for a wedding, and whilst washing my hands in the loo of a Bob Evans, I spotted a decal on the mirror urging patrons to wash their hands for the entire length of a verse of Old MacDonald Had a Farm. Which I thought was a silly mnemonic until I found myself E-I-E-I-Ohing at the sink earlier this week. In my head, thankfully.
Possibly the only healthy thing ever to have come out of eating at Bob Evans.
Katie
November 13th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
I misread Adrian’s words in the first panel as, “Mary, thanks for your divorce!” Which, while it doesn’t make much sense, is something I can certainly imagine someone saying to her. “Oh, Mary, thank you for divorcing me! Now I am finally free to move somewhere far away and have my own opinions!”
gnome de blog
November 13th, 2009 at 7:00 pm
Seeing Sam Driver throw an Trailian overhand right like that indicates he’s clearly overqualified for the legal profession.
Much as I like the hi-jinks of the rich and idle vibe to “Judge Parker,” there’s real potential here to remake the law firm of Driver and Stumpy as a noir detective agency. Sam already has the stoical mien, and Gloria could spend a lot more time filing her nails.
Abbey could take on the Linda Loring role, trying vainly to make Sam respectable, while he’s ever-resentful of her wealth, and both dance around the latent fury smoldering between Sam and Neddy. Neddy was bundled off to art school in Paris with good reason.
Sam would have to give up the canary-yellow ‘vette for a primered-out ‘87 Buick, and keep a pied-a-terre on the edge of the warehouse district.
Judge “Randy” Parker would have his hands full trying to take over the reins from his father, who still exercises political control of large portions of the city, county, and even the state.
Every once in a while it leaks out that Steve “Stumpy” Shannon likes his pills, and maybe he likes heroin too, but we never know for sure. After all, he’s a wounded vet and he’s probably in constant pain from those phantom limbs.
To Sam’s disgust, the romance between Gloria and Stumpy keeps on going, hotter than a Mexican Sunday. Sam can no longer turn to her for a little mean-streets sympathy when the pressures of being true to the Code from between Abbey’s satin sheets gets to him.
Police Lieutenant Jim Yelich takes on a more prominent role as the corrupt policeman who nonetheless tries to keep Sam and Stumpy on the straight and narrow, and as Sam’s drinking buddy.
Assistant D.A. Red “Rusty” Duncan still carries a torch for Sam from the days before he dropped out of law school to join the Marines (don’t ask me why). However, in despair Rusty has taken pity on a new guy in town, a PTSD-riddled vet named Wally. She knows he’s a boozer and he knows she’d drop him in a second if Sam ever gave her the eye, but he’s handy with a gun and quick with his fists and has a taste for the dirty work, no questions asked…or answered.
Woody, you’re doing a great job but the lights are too bright and the cushions too soft. Let’s boil Sam a littler harder and get his hands dirty enough so they don’t ever quite come clean.
Uncle Lumpy
November 13th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
“Mary, thanks for your device!” It helped make this whole ordeal, well, quite invigorating, really!
Uncle Lumpy
November 13th, 2009 at 7:14 pm
#168 gdb –
Or just drop the whole mess and start writing Rip Kirby like they really want to!
Vince M
November 13th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
166: How many animals’ worth are we talking here? After cows, ducks, pigs, sheep, etc. we’d be getting pruney.
bats :[
November 13th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
171. Vince M: the suggestion was for one verse, so I suspect you can just choose a favorite critter (cow, pig, GOAT!, tapir, slug, prune, etc.).
anonymous
November 13th, 2009 at 7:39 pm
#30 – you are rambling incoherently there. You must be a Plugger who is all bent out of shape because you drove thru Wendy’s and what you thought was a dirty dime was just a dirty penny and you didn’t have enough for your Frostee! Next time, make sure there’s enough spare change in yr pocket!
Stephanie
November 13th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
More information on raccoons can be found on the Internet.
bourbon babe, unbuckled (nee buckyswife)
November 13th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
153 Sequitur: Yikes! And: Yup!
162 bats :[ —Yikes again! I think that the Mary Worth artist is under the seriously mistaken impression that she’s really good at drawing hands; how else to explain her desire to get them into every panel possible, no matter how awkward the resulting physical configuration?
bourbon babe, unbuckled (nee buckyswife)
November 13th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
174 Stephanie: Why go to the internet when we have our own in-house racoon expert? (I mean B. Racoon, of course.)
gnome de blog
November 13th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
170 Unc L.
I dunno. Rip Kirby’s a little too Gene Barry.
Sam knew he was a whore. He’d learned to love Armani and Kobe beef and he couldn’t get that rich redhead out of his blood, and it ate at him. He’d even kept the ‘vette but refused to drive it. Except sometimes, late at night…
But he still liked his whiskey straight and hard and his women Baretto-style…
B. Racoon
November 13th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
bourbon babe, unbluckled may be an expert before this weekend’s over.
bourbon babe, unbuckled (nee buckyswife)
November 13th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
178 B. Racoon: Is that what one takes away from a weekend of racoon-centered debauchery: “expertise”?
B. Racoon
November 13th, 2009 at 8:30 pm
179 boubon babe, unbuckled: That is just the beginning.
RJ the Janitor
November 13th, 2009 at 8:48 pm
Hey, raccoon. Do you know what’s happened to my cousin Rupert and his fool cat?
zerowolf
November 13th, 2009 at 8:51 pm
Luann: Tif is living up to her true calling, pivot man in a circle jerk.
B. Racoon
November 13th, 2009 at 8:56 pm
RJ the Janitor @181: That’s RACOON. And while I usually don’t follow the activities of lamebrain humans (mostly just the smart ones), I do happen to know where your cousin Rupert is. Check the cemetery. There should be a rather large lady running screaming from the place. She doesn’t know it but she saw your cousin and the “smarter than you know” cat. He is trapped in a grave he dug himself.
Now, go find him.
Fashion Police
November 13th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
#162, bats :[
We thank you also for documenting a few of the curious changes of clothing that have taken place during the hospital vigil. In particular, we noticed in the second panel, second row that Dr. Cory appears to be wearing a pink blouse with a white French cuff and a white lab coat with half a black sleeve!
That is quite a departure even for modern fashion, which, like modern music, tends to rely on dissonance. And we never took Miss Cory for quite that progressive a girl.
RJ the Janitor
November 13th, 2009 at 9:12 pm
Wow, thanks, Mr. Racc… um, Racoon. I’ll leave and check it out right now. Eh, where’s the exit. Oh, I see it. It’s under that big sign marked “EXIT”.
Jamus the Bartender
November 13th, 2009 at 9:34 pm
Gasoline Alley: I’m actually kind of offended here. When I was twelve, I thought Mantan Morleand acting all scared in the Charlie Chan movies was kind of funny….but I was twelve. And those movies were made in the thirties.
Luann: I always thought she was hot, but I actually really LIKE Tiffany as a person now. I mean, if that’s not Supporting The Troops, I don’t know what is.
My Cage: Wow. Okay, I basically consider myself straight, but…Maureen, if you mess this up, and i’m pretty sure you will, can I have his number?
Funky Winkerbean: Okay….now i’m interested.
babsbybend
November 13th, 2009 at 9:38 pm
So is this the same raccoon in Shylock, that’s seen in MT, and that was cooked on the stove in FOOB?
mr 12 oz can
November 13th, 2009 at 9:41 pm
drjeff thought balloon – you mean i gave the detective the under the sheet kung fu grip and my pushover daughter is thanking my beard for all shes done to keep the swiss cheese detective alive
Jamus the Bartender
November 13th, 2009 at 9:48 pm
87, 134: Counter culture guy here. She’d probably wear something cool from Ragstock or St. Vinnie’s because “it looked really cool”. Or some kind of Asian dress for which I don’t know the name of….
queek
November 13th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
189: Ash isn’t far off from wearing an ao dai as it is.
Jamus the Bartender
November 13th, 2009 at 9:54 pm
190. Thank you, queek :)
queek
November 13th, 2009 at 10:06 pm
191: glad to be of service. Other options might be Goth-Lolita fashion or full out vamp-goth look.
Écureuil Écumant
November 13th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
@6 MolyBendum: “I always thought Coke was the more Conservative beverage, I don’t know why.”
My money’d be on:
– RC Cola
– Mountain Dew
– Dr. Pepper
– Or samogon clones of Dr. Pepper.
Jamus the Bartender
November 13th, 2009 at 10:19 pm
Should Jamus become president, it’s Jones Soda all the way.
gleeb
November 13th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
Candorville: Are you going anywhere with this, or will it be dropped at the end of the week, Bell?
Brenda: ? So, the world’s happiest fake-urchin, in fact, owns all the real estate and the newspaper? As much as I hate to say it, slow down or summarize the damn narrative. It’s not interesting enough to follow week by week, but it gets interesting in the aggregate.
xkcd: Oh yeah? Well I already didn’t give a crap before you didn’t. Take that, geek!
Archie: The question is, will Dilton become George Stephanopoulos or Creepy Les Moore?
A3G: Do you see that, Darrin Bell? One strip! That’s how long they dragged out the “all-therapists-say-is-reflective” crap! One. Damn. Strip. Live and learn, man.
Bizarro: Good. Just should have saved it for the birthday.
Dennis: This is better if you imagine the Mitchells are international assassins ready to put a bullet into an ambassador at the opera.
Dick: So who gets eaten by the tiger? Dammit, if you introduce a tiger into a Dick Tracy story, someone has to be eaten!
‘bean: Just have him paint the wall with someone’s brain already. It’s called pacing, you worthless hack.
Sam Driver, criminal attorney: That’s pretty much assault and battery. But where’s the cheesecake?
Luann: The guys love the ping-pong-ball trick.
Pluggers: …are comic paupers, made fun of by prep-school educated cartoonists. And the kicker is, they volunteer the insults, sorry bastards.
Rex: “The dumbest extortionist on the face of the Earth,” says the sorry fool who lost two slow-moving people. Where the Hell’s June Morgan during all this anyway? She’s probably dancing about nekkid, and we’re missing it!
commodorejohn
November 13th, 2009 at 10:38 pm
#190 queek – Now that I could see her in. Maybe we should start a petition…
bourbon babe, unbuckled (nee buckyswife)
November 13th, 2009 at 11:03 pm
180 B. Racoon: Then I’m prepared to be educated.
195 gleeb, re: Candorville: No kidding. Maybe we’ll get lucky and return to the vampire narrative next week. Because that was fulfilling.
gleeb
November 13th, 2009 at 11:13 pm
197 (Bourbon) re Candorville sucking: Oh, ye Gods, no! Not the endless stupid-ass vampire hideous piece-of-crap plot! Please, blind me, make me deaf so I might not hear other talk of it! Please, not that horrible, asinine shit!
Perhaps I exaggerate, but I really do think Bell spends too much time with that kind of thing.
bourbon babe, unbuckled (nee buckyswife)
November 13th, 2009 at 11:23 pm
198 gleeb: Agreed completely. (I guess my sarcasm wasn’t explicit enough!)
B. Racoon
November 13th, 2009 at 11:51 pm
197. bourbon babe, unbuckled: Sometimes the teacher becomes the student.
Sheila Sternwell
November 13th, 2009 at 11:59 pm
FW: Hey, we all forgot Wally had prosopagnosia, Batiuk probably forgot, too. All he did was Google PTSD and prosopagnosia, and use it briefly to heighten the alleged pathos. It’s not like Batiuk actually cared or anything.
I wish for once that Batiuk would tell us how someone got into the situation they are in. Wally is in a run down motel by himself. Okay, so he has no money, but why wouldn’t someone in town offer him a place to stay? Why wouldn’t the Veteran’s organization be helping? As a POW living in a town with dozens of family members and friends, he wouldn’t have been immediately forgotten. At the least, the media would have been interested. If Batiuk tries to make us believe that no one in Funkytown [1] cares about him, I will point and laugh at Batiuk’s ass. Idiotic.
[1] Perhaps not the real name of the town. Perhaps.
bourbon babe, unbuckled (nee buckyswife)
November 14th, 2009 at 12:14 am
200 B. Racoon: It’s almost the end of the semester; I’m just about done with the whole “being the teacher” thing…. So, it’s all yours….
Sister Sestina
November 14th, 2009 at 12:15 am
@193 Écureuil Écumant – @6 MolyBendum: “I always thought Coke was the more Conservative beverage, I don’t know why.”
Maybe because Coke has hit pretty heavy on the nostalgia angle? Repros of antique Coca-Cola trays and what-have-you are rampant, but I can’t remember seeing more than a handful of the like for Pepsi. And old-timey = conservative in our perceptive algebra.
All the Republicans I know (myself included) are Coke-swiggers, but then all the Republicans I know completely confound all How You Can Recognize a Republican tests anyways.
Muffaroo
November 14th, 2009 at 1:20 am
gnome de blog @168 – I have to award some kind of recognition to your casual dropping of the name “Linda Loring.” (No, readers, she’s not one of Superman’s girlfriends.)
Red Greenback
November 14th, 2009 at 1:27 am
Let’s hear it for Pepsi!
That hit the spot! May I have another?
commodorejohn
November 14th, 2009 at 1:28 am
#201 Sister Sestina – You nailed it. I don’t know; back in days of yore when Lynn Johnston was allegedly good, maybe there was a time when Batiuk saw his Big Serious Stories as something more than a way to draw attention to the intricately-crafted majesty of his Writing. Maybe there was a time where his handling of the issues he picked actually reflected some research and knowledge of the subject, a time where his investment in the story came from more than a cheap exploitationism coupled with a disturbing sadism. But that sure as hell ain’t the case now.
(Also, I’m a Coke drinker, and…well, I vote Republican, but I’m more of a libertarian with slightly anarchic ideals who votes Republican mostly because the Libertarian party proper is comprised almost entirely of pot nuts, gun nuts, and pot-smoking gun nuts. Where does that put me?)
Andy L
November 14th, 2009 at 1:40 am
So, Scott was sound asleep, slowly recuperating and healing from his many injuries … until he ’sensed’ that Adrian was hovering over him and babbling like an idiot so he forced himself to wake up?
I hope Adrian mentions that it was Mary Worth’s idea, so he’ll know who to thank when he’s up and about again.
CanuckDownSouth
November 14th, 2009 at 1:41 am
#201-Sister Sestina – apparently there’s been a containment breach of the continuity-eating virus we’d thought was safely contained in reFOOB.
(And I drink whatever diet cola puts in Splenda, which is certain very particular products from both ends of the divide, as well as Shasta – but we Canucks are a bit hard to classify :)
Poteet
November 14th, 2009 at 1:43 am
# 99 RJ — Thank you, and I sure you hope find that cat safe and sound.
11/14 FC — Mommy Keane looks as if she’s about to have a root canal. And for someone with a serious dislike for/indifference to football, that’s just about how much fun it is to sit through a game. So why the hell didn’t she just stay home and relax and give Daddy Keane a special chance to bond with his wee melonheads? Maybe that’s not allowed. If so, life at the Keane Kompound is even grimmer than I thought.
Andy L
November 14th, 2009 at 1:45 am
Why is Ziggy there? I will grant that all those other characters may have at one point done something amusing. Even Hagar. But Ziggy spends his entire existence moving from one carefully constructed boring set piece to another.
Are we meant to believe that the Ziggy comic strip is some sort of meticulously boring performance art, and that Ziggy is actually quite an amusing guy when he’s not “on”?
Mr. O'Malley
November 14th, 2009 at 1:51 am
Today’s topics:
Washing your hands: According to NPR, one time through the Alphabet Song (the American one) is about right, but if you want to be cooler, do twice through the chorus of “Hit the Road, Jack”.
Coke v. Pepsi: Now isn’t Coke sort of the state religion in Georgia? I’ve read that in the segregation days Pepsi used to sell well in African-American neighborhoods in the south because Coke was associated with the white power structure. (That is the company and its distributors had a lot of political connections.) How this relates to modern associations I wouldn’t know.
I can remember that Dr. Pepper used to be only sold in the South. I believe that at that time it was an independent company. There used to be a lot of regional soft drink companies that eventually were destroyed by Coke and Pepsi.
bats :[
November 14th, 2009 at 1:57 am
Baka Gaijin: if you looooove clowns, you’ll love the Saturday Mark Trail (yes, scary images abound!).
Poteet
November 14th, 2009 at 1:59 am
# 211 Mr. O’Malley — I’ve never been able to drink carbonated beverages, but I grew up watching other kids drink them. And in the Detroit area, I remember Faygo. Thanks for the memory jog.
bats :[
November 14th, 2009 at 2:00 am
208. CanuckDownSouth: our local RC bottler uses Splenda in its diet drinks. Decent stuff (even mr. bats :[ will drink it), although you can get a great case of the shits if you drink too much. (A friend who is a 2 l./day Diet Coke fan found that out the hard way after thinking Diet RC “was the same”. Oh, no…)
Poteet
November 14th, 2009 at 2:09 am
# 212 bats:[ — Great, now my mind is combining images of clowns and Rusty. Gaaaah!
Some Guy Here
November 14th, 2009 at 2:09 am
Herb looks so at home I thought he was a Baldo character at first.
Toronto
November 14th, 2009 at 2:15 am
Not only was Pepsi associated with Nixon in our household, but also with Khrushchev and the USSR (apparently you could get Pepsi at the Kremlin in the 1960s, but not Coke (or cheeseburger.))
Then there was that great summer road trip from Coke country to Kik to Pepsi to Moxie to Dr. Pepper to RC and finally ending up in the land of Tab.
Jym the Wildlife Man
November 14th, 2009 at 2:22 am
=v= FW (14-Nov-2009): Is watching the Cleveland Browns any way to pull out of deep depression? Especially when they’re up against Josh’s home team?
Gap-Toothed Starey "HOOOO!" Guy
November 14th, 2009 at 2:30 am
MT Oh, good, Sassy is still alive. What a relie-OH GOD MY EYES DEAR LORD WHAT EVIL HAST THOU WROUGHT UPON US
Gap-Toothed Starey "HOOOO!" Guy
November 14th, 2009 at 2:42 am
FW Sigh. We all know the results of the Wally + drinking + driving + family members recipe. Who wants to take bets on what tragically ironic body part Wally Jr. is going to lose?
Mr. O'Malley
November 14th, 2009 at 2:59 am
213. Poteet. Which way did he go, which way did he go? He went for Faygo!
A-3g: Do they really still have cafeterias in NYC? All of the famous ones are gone:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horn_%26_Hardart
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Childs_Restaurants
http://lostnewyorkcity.blogspot.com/2007/02/schraffts-in-name-alone.html
http://curbed.com/archives/2006/07/21/urban_archeology_search_for_schraffts.php
There apparently is a restaurant called The Cafeteria, but is it one?
FC: I’m guessing this is a rerun because when was the last time you saw someone smoking in FC? I can’t even remember the last time I saw anyone wear a sweater with a big letter on it either, not to mention blue teenage melonheads. (Good band name?) At what age does your head shrink to adult size?
La Cucuracha: Coincident timing?
MT: I always heard that dogs pant to cool off because they can’t sweat. So what’s with the flop sweat?
Although if Sassy is looking back at that ghastly apparition in the second panel, it might be enough to make a dog sweat.
Zits: There’s a functional 110V outlet in a car that doesn’t have a working heater?
Alfred E. Neuman
November 14th, 2009 at 3:19 am
#201 Sheila Sternwell— Wally should have been well off financially with all of the back pay from 10 years in captivity. The most Batiuk-like explanation for why Wally now has little money: Cory stole it.
Mibbitmaker
November 14th, 2009 at 3:59 am
11/14:
9CL: Or Solange took a big, disgusting dump…
A3G: “Uh….. I’m cynical, Ari, but thanks anyway.”
Crankshaft: Score one for Cranky!
GA: Hey, maybe “Mr. Walt” is with some bald punk guy….
GT: Shoot? Hey, this isn’t basketball, sport.
MT: Omigod, that’s frightening!! …and the alligator’s pretty mean-looking, too.
MW: Yeah, yeah, great, next story, please…
Ghost-Who-Struggles: I think ol’ Kit thinks he’s a bigger creep than we do at this point.
RMMD: Oh, will you people just SHUT UP already?!! Jeez, this is how McCarthyism got started!
Sister Sestina
November 14th, 2009 at 4:33 am
I thought I was infected by a continuity-eating virus until I realized commentary directed to my name was actually answering Sheila Sternwell’s trenchant remarks. So many Ss slithering around…Maybe a la Bourbon Babe, Unbuckled’s rebirthing I should change my name; after all, I doubt the good ladies of Our Lady of Iambic Pentameter are entirely happy that I still style myself Sister after making the bridal bed buckle beneath my back.
Sheila Sternwell
November 14th, 2009 at 5:23 am
Sorry Sister Sestina! We are TOTALLY different people, for serious guys, I mean really.
#222 Alfred: I think, but am not 100% sure, that Batiuk said Wally wasn’t getting his back pay because of some kind of snafu. Which, again, makes no sense because HELLO, POW HERE, and all he has to do to get paid is go to CNN with his story.
Dondi Está
November 14th, 2009 at 5:39 am
JP: I was immediately reminded of the line from Basic Instinct about the Sharon Stone character’s magna cum laude pussy. But even hers didn’t talk. Would the words have been muffled if not for the ultra mini dress?
CanuckDownSouth
November 14th, 2009 at 8:13 am
Sister & Sheila – oops, sorry! – that’s what comes from staying up too late reading comic-snark
I think today’s Mary Worth is proof positive that the artist is using a Prince Valiant collection (badly) as source material. We’ll make a life together even if I have to search every subterranean tunnel for him!
Écureuil Écumant
November 14th, 2009 at 8:40 am
@194 Jamus the Bartender says: “Should Jamus become president, it’s Jones Soda all the way.”
Go well with PotatoAde™, it does?
Vince M
November 14th, 2009 at 9:19 am
MT: Good thing Mark has that jack-o-lantern to light his way in the dark.
8th Man Fan
November 14th, 2009 at 10:01 am
#221 Mr. O’Malley re: A3G and whether cafeterias still exist in NYC: As far as the Childs Restaurant-type chains, those are long gone. The cafeteria setup does live on in schools and company cafeterias. Can testify to the latter, as there’s a cafeteria in the same building as my job’s main office, right across the way.
Cafeteria is yet another pricey, yuppie hangout, more a table-service restaurant than a fill-your-tray place.
What you do find in New York are upscale restaurants, downscale fast food places, buffet delis, old-fashioned delis (a dying breed), cafés, coffee shops, and (my favorite) diners. Now, if they depicted Ari and his pill-popping (prospective) paramour waltzing into Good Stuff Diner, or even The Diner, that I’d buy.
If nothing else, New York Magazine’s Restaurant Search did get me wondering where in New York would someone run across the A3G characters. There are five boroughs (some bigger than some cities), but to most of the world, NYC = Manhattan, so I’ll stick there. (Can’t quite picture Margo chilling in Brooklyn or the Bronx, anyway)
Upper West Side? Yuppie country. Upper East Side? How the other half lives, too rich for that motley crew. Chelsea? West Village? East Village? Soho? Tribeca? Too young/diverse/artsy for 60s throwbacks. Harlem, West or East? Ha! My guess is Hell’s Kitchen, which, despite the name, is getting pretty tony now.
Would help if Frank Bolle drew an actual NYC location once in a while.
Mel AKA "Mel"
November 14th, 2009 at 10:12 am
MW: From the looks of panel two today:
If Scott had any sense he’d be trying to use his heart monitor like an Etch A Sketch to spell HELPME!
MrGuy
November 14th, 2009 at 10:23 am
Baldo: Apparently Baldo’s family lives right next to a medieval Viking colony and a forest. I’m also disconcerted by Ziggy being referred to as funny.
Slylock Fox: That fish almost looks like it’s enjoying being clamped tightly against a raccoon’s crotch. It deserves a painful death.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
November 14th, 2009 at 10:31 am
Something tells me that foort @ 227 is spam.
And that “something” is “my ability to read.”
John C Fremont
November 14th, 2009 at 10:45 am
#193 EE – Loved that link! Now I’m off to try to find some Dr. Joe’s All Natural Spicy Soda to see for myself how bad it really is. I won’t be watching Manimal, though. But I’m thinking it should go well with Eegah…
Fooooorrrt!!
dreadedcandiru2
November 14th, 2009 at 10:50 am
Sunday Foob Advisory: Here’s a breakdown of what’s wrong with tomorrow’s new-ruin:
1) Lizzie leaves her bath-toy where Farley can chew on it.
2) Having never been trained to not do so because Elly is a Busy Mother With No Help And No Time To Himself, he does so in front of Flapandhonk.
3) Since Elly is a mammy-ramming, rage-filled, self-absorbed and ignorant cretin who cannot (or, more properly, WILL not) get it through her thick skull that Farley will never understand English, she launches into an angry, profane tirade at an uncomprehending and frightened animal.
4) The payoff is that Elly proves that her brain is the size of a walnut as she misinterprets his attempt to appease her as kissing her feet.
5) An armada of mongrel jerks will go onto Lynn’s website gushing about doggie kisses while ignoring the fact that Elly is as a horrible pet owner as she is a wife and mother.
mr 12 oz can
November 14th, 2009 at 11:03 am
i dont think bobbie is giving up any trim for the best rice pudding in nyc and in a unrelated matter why did ghost welfare never investigate why friendly casper was living in a house with 3 crazy uncles as caregivers ???
Ham Gravy
November 14th, 2009 at 11:15 am
11/14
FW: The only sporting event remotely depressing enough to be at home in the Funkyverse: a Cleveland Browns football game.
zerowolf
November 14th, 2009 at 11:16 am
Save Sassy, feed the ‘gator Rusty!
zerowolf
November 14th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Is General Halftrack’s “wife” really Sarge in drag?
zerowolf
November 14th, 2009 at 11:26 am
#232 If Scott had any sense he’d make a break for it and catch up with Pearl and Henry.
Jimbo
November 14th, 2009 at 11:47 am
No wonder Wally Winkerbean is drinking and suicidally depressed! He’s a Cleveland Browns fan!
cheech wizard
November 14th, 2009 at 11:59 am
I never associated either Coke or Pepsi with any political bent, although Coke did that famous hippy suck-up on the hilltop back in the 60s. I tend to be moderate-lib in my beliefs and I prefer Coke…
…although it’s Mountain Dew that’s really in my DNA. I was very bummed that I missed out on the release of the classic MD last summer – the stuff made with real sugar. Friends told me it was awesome – hope they bring it back. While they’re at it, they can put the hillbillies taking potshots at each other back on the label as well. What’s the world coming to?
queek
November 14th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
242: Thank Pan that he isn’t a Lions fan.
Bryan
November 14th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
La Cucarucha: Man, that was a long stretch for a lame joke.
cheech wizard
November 14th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
FW – and let me guess – the Browns are going to be playing the Lions, right? And Wally will sit there watching the game, sucking on his pistol like it was a Slo-Poke.
odinthor
November 14th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
#244. Bryan. — Experience has shown that, when you see the VW in La Cucaracha, you should be thinking, “Caution. Lame joke ahead. Take detour.”
MT. —
As opposed to a deer or catfish barking. It takes the trained ear of a naturalist to tell the difference.
TheDiva
November 14th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
C’shaft: Crankshaft has a point, which I think is number three on the Things I Never Ever Thought I’d Say list. Also, If it snows enough to fill the snowman form it will obviously also have snowed enough to bury it, which kind of defeats the purpose.
FW: This week’s storyline with Wally reminds me of that joke about the old man and the flood. You know the one: the neighbors come by in a 4×4, some nice folks stop by in a boat, the Coast Guard helicopter shows up, but the old guy waves them all off saying “The Lord will provide.” When he eventually drowns and asks God why he had been forsaken in his hour of need, God says “I sent a truck, a boat, and a helicopter; what more did you want?” Wally’s problem isn’t that he’s a poor forgotten veteran who nobody cares about, but that he’s actively avoiding anything which might help him–skipping therapy, hiding behind the door of his hotel room with a gun when Rana visits, taking his kid to see the Browns instead of a team worth watching–and it’s hard to feel empathy for him, because his grief is to a certain degree self-imposed. Of course there are plenty of people like this, but just because it happens in real life doesn’t mean it makes for good “writing.”
MW: “I’m going to give Scott my weirdly misshapen hand in marriage no matter what!”
commodorejohn
November 14th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Crankshaft – So I want to know: doesn’t Ayers do his own coloring? I don’t think we can blame the color monkeys for this one.
DT – Wait, seriously? A Dick Tracy storyline in which nobody is horribly maimed? Can’t be.
FW – Wait, wait, wait, I’ve got it. Remember the H.P. Lovecraft story “Cool Air,” where the protagonist meets a man whose apartment is always kept frigid, and it turns out that spoiler? Yeah. You have to admit, it’s a natural progression for Funky.
H&L – Hi is rooting for the Black Sox? Well, that’s nice of him, but they haven’t played a game in about 75 years.
Luann – Fnrargghjhuvlyyxbwghjkknrghhng.
MT – AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
MW – “As God is my witness, I’ll never go Scott-less again!”
SM – Yeah, Sandman, we’re pretty depressed too. Cheer up, the storyline will be over soon enough, and then you can drop out of the strip.
bourbon babe, unbuckled (nee buckyswife)
November 14th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
MT: “She’s alive“—as opposed to the zombified beast in panel two, risen from the swamp-murk to stagger through the night, terrifying all the hapless creatures (i.e., us) it encounters. Sassy, sweetie, you are in a lot of trouble, because you’re about to be rescued and restored to Reanimated Rusty’s eager arms.
FC: “Yes, I have to explain the game to Mommy because everyone knows that teh women are too dumb to understand sports, amiright?”
MW: “Scott can run to the ends of the earth; he can try to evade me. But I will marry him, reader!”
A3G: And by treating Bobbie to cafeteria rice pudding, Ari reveals that he’s as inept at seduction as he is at psychotherapy.
bats :[
November 14th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
219. Gap-Toothed Starey “HOOOO!” Guy: you know, this might not be all that bad. I mean…
F-Minus: no, this really doesn’t happen in Arizona. It’s still pretty amusing, though…
DT: I’m really surprised and somewhat disappointed that Mr. Pops wasn’t Tiger Chow. I’m wondering if the guys behind the comic thought having a clown die would traumatize children. Of course, this is based on two premises:
1. Kids read DT.
2. Kids like clowns. I really never cared for them myself, and I suspect there are a fair share of children who have been traumatized by them to the point of never having to deal with them again (The Baka Gaijin Corollary).
Still, Cyber is teh cute!
Citric
November 14th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
But, Pluggers can’t afford nice things, their lawnmowers would be those unpowered ones! Black is white! Up is down! Men are marrying horses!
Paul1963
November 14th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
Y’know, it was Veterans’ Day this week. Surely Wally Winkerbean could have found someplace to go where he would have had tons of people saluting him and thanking him for his service. Hell, I went to a car show last Sunday where they asked all vets present to come line up by the DJ stage and something like 40 people appeared to applause from the crowd. I find it difficult to believe that a nice little midwestern town like Westview doesn’t have a VFW or American Legion post, or that it didn’t throw a Vets’ Day parade.
Oh, yeah–Coke-drinking Democrat here. Some people just prefer one over the other, y’know? I’ll drink Pepsi if Coke isn’t available, though. Don’t care for Dr. Pepper, RC’s OK. Tried Moxie once because I was curious (they still sell it in Maine, where my sister lives) and once was enough.
Curtis: Healthy food tastes like crap, hahahahaha, been there, done that, got the T-shirt, IT DOESN’T HAVE TO! And, again, there are a lot of ways to cook chicken other than frying it.
Islamorada Girl
November 14th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
I drink bottled water and recycle the bottles. What does that say about my politics? And when I drink a soda, I drink a diet.
The Ridger
November 14th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
@ bats :[ (250) – no they realized the kids would be traumatized when Cyber had to be killed for man-eating. Or clown-eating, at any rate.
Little A and his Verkokte Magic Ball
November 14th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
250 Bats: Apropos of kids being traumatized by clowns: a few years ago there was a very good Sunday One Big Happy strip which took place at a kids birthday party. No words, just action. The kids were entertained and fascinated by an animal handler who brought large lizards, a large snake, etc., which they werr allowed to handle. After he said good bye and left, a clown, in full regalia, came in the room — and the kids freaked out.
Jamus the Bartender
November 14th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Hand Washing: Okay, I work in a restaurant, so i’m often told that singing “Happy Birthday” twice while washing is the way to go. I’m also told that singing it loudly, like a lounge singer, the way Bill Murray used to do on SNL is NOT the way to go. Especially during the dinner hour.
Mary Worth: Okay, is Adrian some kind of new superhero? Because that’s the only reason anyone would hold their fist in the air like that.
Gasoline Alley: “Mister Corky”. Okay. Still offended.
Judge Parker: Cool. Sam is SO gonna have sex. SEX!!
Funky Winkerbean: Why am I hearing strains of “The End” by the Doors?
FC: Why in hell are the kids bringing their dollies to the game? The only one doing it right for a change is Jeffy with his forty ouncer of some kind of alcohol, although I should point out he will get busted for that if Keanetown is anything like Madison WI on gameday.
Blondie: Wow. Six cents. What are these ” stamps” of which you speak?
Calico
November 14th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
#249 – And really, what stupid kid and his equally dumb father bring a small dog into a gator-infested swamp?
That’s almost as retarded as boiling a dead racoon.
Calico
November 14th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
#230 – Re: delis – I heard on Radio Canada the other day about a book celebrating delis-can’t remeber the title-but they are a dying breed. Sad.
The one especially lamented on this show was a place in Montreal called Ben’s, which recently went under.
bourbon babe, unbuckled (nee buckyswife)
November 14th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
257 Calico: An unleashed small dog. (And in answer to your question: Well, a wildlife expert, of course!)
mr 12 oz can
November 14th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
if you wanna get laid dr pappagoras buying a woman rice pudding you gottta go for the bigger gals .
Lorem Ipsum
November 14th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
DT: I feel all warm and cozy inside. It couldn’t have happened to a nicer clown. Fini!
Black Drazon
November 14th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
#74 Sequitur – Thanks! I was right about Broom Hilda but I couldn’t remember her name.
bourbon babe, unbuckled (nee buckyswife)
November 14th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
260 mr 12 oz can: Because nothing says, “I want to do you” more than loose, gloppy, beige food.
MolyBendum
November 14th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
251 Citric – Haha, you said “But plugger”.
(Yes, I’m 12.)
bats :[
November 14th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
Yesterday’s Baldo: Dean Booth has improved the quality of humor for Papi’s health. I think many of us would agree.
And while humor might help, there’s still a very large (*sigh*) emphasis on exercise.
KarMann
November 14th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
@Jamus #256: Re. FW: That’s odd, I’m hearing the theme from M*A*S*H. Let’s see, how do the lyrics go again?…
CaroZ
November 14th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
Saturday Mark Trail:
Rusty has sideburns! Now we know why Sassy is in so much trouble!
Dingo
November 14th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
There’s something about Rusty’s eyes that tells me by the age of nineteen he won’t be allowed around any playgrounds.
odinthor
November 14th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
GT and 9CL.: — Hey, Danny Daley, the folks at 9 Chickweed Lane want you to come pick up your chin bush from the floor of their home!
Artist formerly known as Ben
November 14th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
11/14
Today brings at least three comics about men watching football on TV. Hi and Lois, Marmaduke and Fred Basset all go to this pretty dry well. And yes, in Fred’s case “football” means soccer, but that’s a pretty slim distinction all told.
FC: At least the Keane klan is there live, albeit probably about to be tossed from the stadium for excessive malaproping.
9CL: Solange confirms her(?) place as Chickweed Lane’s comic powerhouse. That actually is funny.
DT: Everyone except the poor trapeze chick survives til the end? Doesn’t this violate some contract or other?
S-M: Call me crazy, but if I robbed a bank I’d want to hit the bricks ASAP and divvy up the loot back at HQ. Cop bullets might not hurt Sandy, but the rest of the gang isn’t so immune.
H&J: An intrigued Herb laces the Right Reverends coffee with a little more Kahlua and waits to see what kind of skeletons tumble out of the closet. “Yes, I knew they were brother and sister, but they both said they were over eighteen.”
A3G: Either Ari is more ethical than recent appearances suggest–setting the bar kind of low–or he thinks Bobbie is a real cheap date. “Hey, do you want the happy pill scrips or not? Look, be good and maybe next week we can hit Denny’s.”
SFx: Not sure if that’s a sweet retro-futuristic TV or a terrarium that actually has a miniature dog duck and fence inside. Either one would be a fine addition to your den.
S4th: Don’t worry. If that’s all you’re doing when you’re 30 you can still be the gorgeous ladies of Penny Arcade.
BC: Assuming there’s actually a joke here and that it’s pretty much the one I’m reading, I can’t believe this filth actually got published.
Ziggy: Didn’t George Carlin do the “My other car is a piece of shit, too” joke 20 years ago? When it was timely?
Lockhorns: In possibly the grimmest crossover in comics history, Leroy gives marital advice to Jeremy from Zits. Apparently Sarah only thought those pills she was stealing from her mother were birth control.
AhClem
November 14th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
Today’s line-up for the “Women do all the work while their lazy-ass husbands relax” meme is: Real-Life Adventures, FBOFW, Pajama Diaries (this one is a given), Adam @ Home and Fred Basset.
Left-leaning moderate and Diet Pepsi drinker here, although my first choice would be Vernor’s. Those of you from Detroit will understand.
queek
November 14th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
265: bats:[, you fully and completely rock. \m/ \m/
One-eyed Wolfdog
November 14th, 2009 at 5:44 pm
That sure is a frisky little speech balloon in the first panel of JP. Almost Elrodian.
dyslexic dog
November 14th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
#252: Paul1963 –
Batiuk thinks, “Hmm, capital idea. I should have thought of that. By golly, next year, when V-Day rolls around, we’re going full speed ahead with it. If anyone’s left.”
mr 12 oz can
November 14th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
hey dr pappagoras be careful how do you think dr. jeff got stuck with mary worth the alluring powers of cafeteria rice pudding
One-eyed Wolfdog
November 14th, 2009 at 5:57 pm
It’s enormous! It’s horrifying! The mouth full of horrible teeth, and those evil, soulless eyes!
And in the third panel there’s an alligator.
Victory Garden
November 14th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
This place has turned into Craigslist Personals but with … angry rac[c]oons. I am so confused right now.
Anyway. Who up there said Tiffany was a virgin? If she’s a virgin, then I’m Rocky Racoon. I think probably TJ and Knute tapped that already … maybe Crystal too.
OKStan
November 14th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
What’s really creepy about Baldo is that they’re ALL apparently waiting for someone – ANYONE – to crack a joke, and, you know, actually BE FUNNY!
As for the raccoon, he’ll go for those soft, delicious, and totally defenseless eyes first. Just letting you know.
Poteet
November 14th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
# 259 bourbon babe — Thanks for pointing that out. It has annoyed me since this story began.
GA — “Hi, Mr. Corky! Your dad’s missing! I guess maybe, since it’s been several hours, we should maybe call the police and tell them that a man who’s 108 is wandering around somewhere, haha! Oh, how did he come to be missing? Well, there was this concert I just had to see, and I bought tickets from a scalper, and the ushers got mad and tried to throw us out, and then…well, it’s a long story, haha! But for the pathetic amount you pay me, what do you expect, actual concern?”
Uncle Lumpy
November 14th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
#278 OKStan –
They’re all quiet because it’s against the law to crack a joke in Baldo.
Poteet
November 14th, 2009 at 8:03 pm
DtM — It’s not much of a punchline, but at least a punchline was attempted. After yesterday, I was beginning to wonder if punchlines were becoming a thing of the past.
Poteet
November 14th, 2009 at 8:13 pm
11/15 PV — It’s so nice to be following this strip again. Ig, your better qualities are showing, and I think some woman could go for you. I wonder if Camelot could start some Merlin-moderated version of “The Bachelor.”
Anonymous
November 14th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
A3G – Taking her to eat rice pudding. Hmn. Is that what the older folks are calling it these days.
bats :[
November 14th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
PV: if Ig keeps this up, all the unattached ladies in Camelot will be wondering if he has a brother (well, aside from Nub and Snot).
Poteet
November 14th, 2009 at 9:58 pm
# 271 AhClem — Vernor’s! Another memory kicks in! ChattyGenes would be better at this.
Andy L
November 14th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
I enjoy Saturday’s Mary Worth when you consider Friday’s strip.
Mary W. : Maybe exactly what you just said is true.
Adrian : Well, …I don’t know.
RJ the Janitor
November 14th, 2009 at 10:24 pm
I found my cousin Rufus. It was so pitiful I just left him where he was. Threw him a canteen and some field ration I had left over from the first Gulf War. Told him to think a while longer about what he had just done. Took his cat though. I mean, he was holding it out to me. Nice kitty. [purrrrr].
Poteet
November 14th, 2009 at 10:45 pm
# 287 RJ the Janitor — I couldn’t agree more with your priorities.
Poteet
November 14th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
11/15 STONE SOUP — So how old is Grandma, anyway? Jan is 39, so her mother is what, sixty-five? Seventy? News flash — that isn’t “old” anymore. Doing the cha-cha at that age isn’t such a big deal.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
November 14th, 2009 at 11:33 pm
RJ the Janitor: I was all set to like you. Then you revealed yourself as a relative of a GA denizen. I’m afraid I’m now bound by the Snarker’s Oath to regard you with a mingling of revulsion and pity.
RJ the Janitor
November 14th, 2009 at 11:51 pm
290 The Spectacular Sprider-Brick: Hey, you can’t pick your relatives. Only your nose and your friends. Just don’t pick your friend’s nose.
RJ the Janitor
November 15th, 2009 at 12:02 am
Oh, and I learned that that hard way.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
November 15th, 2009 at 12:15 am
RJ the Janitor: Well, I suppose that technically, I’m only supposed to pity and loathe you if you yourself are a GA denizen. If you aren’t, I guess I can give you the benefit of the doubt.
The place does look spiffy, by the way. I guess that demonstrates a certain basic competence on your part, which in itself is evidence you’re not from Gasoline Alley.
Stephanie
November 15th, 2009 at 12:28 am
Back at the end of July, I made a startling discovery. . . I was unsure if I should post it back then, but I think it’s important that you know that “Mary Worth” is not that person’s true identity.
I’m not good with HTML, but the shocking truth lies in the link below.
http://img166.imageshack.us/img166/1092/xythckfizsk3eg1.gif
I know it’s hard to handle, but it really does explain quite a bit. . .
mr 12 oz can
November 15th, 2009 at 12:33 am
dont most janitors get arrested for faking injurys and caught doing sidejobs . sweep this act away
Poteet
November 15th, 2009 at 3:05 am
11/15
A3G — “No middle-aged man can resist a pretty young blonde.” Hear that, all you middle-aged guys? Weak as water, you are. Weak as water.
FC — *swallows hard to control nausea* Cats have never looked so good.
JP — Dayam, she thinks to herself. If only I’d framed the old coot more carefully, this would have worked out perfectly.
MW — “We have dreams and plans we want to make happen.” It’s like a Hallmark card created by a Venusian.
PHANTOM — “Sorry, sir, but this is a fashion emergency. We’re here to drag you in for a makeover. Don’t try to fight it.”
Chip Whittle
November 15th, 2009 at 5:40 am
On the politics/beverage axis, I’m liberal (by United States standards) and prefer Dr Pepper or ginger ale (most any flavor). For what that’s worth. Preferably the diet versions because I can’t understand why I should want a hundred extra calories just to have a non-water taste.
Crankshaft could face an interesting dilemma, to the extent his life can be interesting. If it’s verified the snowman form is no fun, then Crankshaft has every reason to like it. Except, if his snotty neighbor likes the form then Crankshaft must not like it. But if his snotty neighbor likes the form because it isn’t any fun, then Crankshaft’s logic circuits will overload, sparks will pour out his sides, smoke billow from his pores, and he will be immobilized, crying out, “Norman, co-ordinate” until his destruction is complete. So I’m looking forward to the follow-up to this.
Gasoline Alley: on the one hand, it’s pretty cruel of Gertie to abandon a man in a grave. On the other hand, it’s a man who was digging a grave alone except for his cat after sunset on the longest night in recorded time. There’s something going on there.
I am curious what turmoil faces the Herb and Jamaal choice of church product. They’re not confronting the Albigensowhaddayacallit Heresy, are they?
Mr. O'Malley
November 15th, 2009 at 7:37 am
230. 8th Man Fan. Thanks for the info about cafeterias in NYC. Here in California I haven’t really seen an old-style cafeteria for decades. At my work there is something called a cafeteria, but you line up for someone to make you a burrito, quesadilla, Asian noodles, etc. or you can grab a stale sandwich or some sushi from the shelf. Not exactly what I think of as a real old-school cafeteria.
We have some old-style places called hofbraus, in which trays are carried, but to me it’s not the same as a cafeteria. Likewise we have a few Jewish and Italian delis, but that’s a thing in itself.
I guess that the rise of fast food put most of the old cafeteria chains out of business, also the concept of “lunch counters”.
I remember as a child going to the Automat in NYC. I guess that is now some kind of historical event.
258. Calico. I heard a show about old-style Jewish delis on NPR recently. There are still a few around, but they are getting thin on the ground. I was in Montreal a few months ago. I know there were some classic Jewish delis there once, but I wouldn’t know where to look for them. We found it a bit of a challenge to find affordable places to eat there.
Sodas: On my own I would mostly drink water, but Mrs. O’Malley likes sodas, so here’s what we do. We have a couple of soda siphons for which you can get CO2 bulbs for pretty cheap if you buy in bulk. She puts in some flavoring (Torani syrup or some similar Slavic stuff we get at the Polish deli) and you have a nice soft drink, much cheaper than buying the commercial stuff. Also you can make it just as sweet as you like, no more.
I’m not sure what this says about my politics … anarchist?
Janitors: There’s a high school janitor in these parts who’s in trouble for running a modelling agency for female students on the side.
Comics: There was a crossover from MG&G to Zits which no one has mentioned yet, probably because they found it as unexciting as I did.
Sheila Sternwell
November 15th, 2009 at 7:50 am
I just realized the raccoon’s fish was called “lunch”, and I am sad that I failed to make the obvious “A Fish Called Wanda” joke.
Sheila Sternwell
November 15th, 2009 at 8:02 am
#287 RJ: I found my dad’s WWII first aid kit and sold it on eBay, basically because it was heavy and because I already have a huge chest full of his WWII Navy stuff and didn’t need any more. I got the WEIRDEST questions from people who were interested in it, mainly about the kinds of bandages and whether there were rations in it or not. And I’m trying hard to figure out what field rations the Navy would need, what with there being very few foxholes on a battleship.
Harley Quinn
November 15th, 2009 at 9:26 am
So, where are you guys finding Sunday comics now? I can view the one’s that are on comics.com, but I can’t find Sunday editions online anymore of My Cage or any others that I used to read online.
P
November 15th, 2009 at 10:11 am
Rerun Place: After being diagnosed with H1N1, PJ begins his quest to kill all of the Keane’s, marking his plan for total domination. Too bad Bil really doesn’t know what’s in that cookie.
AhClem
November 15th, 2009 at 10:47 am
#301 Harley Quinn -
Try Dean Booth’s Sunday Chron Page.
Braniff
November 15th, 2009 at 10:52 am
FC: In the post mortem of William Keane Sr., his son William Keane Jr. (aka Billy) was heard to tell his sister and brother Jeffery, “PJ just killed Daddy with his swine flu. That’s right–PJ’s a real pig.”
commodorejohn
November 15th, 2009 at 11:29 am
Bizarro – I have to say, I really love Batman’s “I’m too cool for this joint” expression. Because you know it’s true. Also, it must’ve been a hell of a party to get Spider-Man off the couch.
BlC – For some reason, this has always been one of my favorite Bloom County strips.
BrS – Wow. Even Brenda Starr is acknowledging how ridiculous its plot is.
Crankshaft – I’d be a little concerned about getting human medical advice from a doctor who is clearly some sort of bean.
Crock – HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK
Curtis – You know, if the entire universe was conspiring to get me together with someone, I’d be a little freaked out, too.
FW – Maybe everyone in Funkytown is just retarded, from all the lead in the drinking water.
JP – My God. I think we’ve found Dixie Julep’s twin sister.
Luann – Greg forgot to make the punchline new or funny; he was too busy thinking about teenage girls getting sweaty.
MW – I like the fact that Adrian’s bowl-cut somehow got even bowlier.
MC – Okay, I’ll buy the lampshading here. All tentative objections withdrawn.
Diplomat-Who-Walks – My God is the Sunday Phantom ever getting gorgeous. It’s still got a long way to go before reaching Prince Valiant levels of awesome, but it’s approaching Judge Parker levels (minus the boobage.)
PV – “Hi, I’m Ig. I’ll be your Hans Bjelke for the evening.”
RMMD – Oh, lovely. Time for
AnthonyTim to improbably beat up the evil, vile non-conformist so the emotional adultery storyline can proceed. Yay.SM – You know, Marco, this probably would’ve worked before the burglary, with the added bonus of cutting the whole stupid storyline much shorter. Then again, it would be a shame to deprive Sandy of The Dog in the Fog.
Sister Sestina
November 15th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Mr O’Malley at 298: Don’t know where in California you are, but if ever you’re in downtown Los Angeles there’s a prized relic called Clifton’s Cafeteria you might want to check out. It’s certainly not what anyone would call a standard cafeteria, as it’s huge and the main room is decorated in proto-Disneyland woodland style, but by god it’s old-school.
lightglobe
November 15th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
286 Andy L:
Adrian almost redeems herself from total stupidity with last panel’s Scarlett O’Hara impersonation.
“As God is my witness, we will have a life together! Even if I have to drug him, lie to him or shoot him in the leg again!”
odinthor
November 15th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
#306. SS. Re: Clifton’s Cafeteria in L.A. (on Broadway, just north of 7th). Was just there a few weeks ago, and enjoyed it as always (had oxtail something or other, and the cream cake). First floor is woodland, second floor is “non-character” (efficient, clean, well-lit), third floor is sort of fancy French decor. Have your birthday party there, and the cake is provided for free. One of my earliest memories is of such an occasion, me being the honoree. And they brought out the cake . . . and it had the wrong name on it. :-( And, eww, it was a girl’s name. Oh, well—I suppose I wouldn’t have remembered the occasion otherwise. Aside from that mis-cue, I love Clifton’s with all my heart. Or stomach. And Ray Bradbury is also a long-time patron.
kkarenb
November 15th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
A-3G – “No middle-aged man can resist a pretty young blonde.”
Except Prince Charles, of course.
AMC
November 15th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
reFOOB – So Farley somehow symbolizes Coffee Talkers. Who knew?
CanuckDownSouth
November 15th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
#297 – Under the assumption that that the thought came to the H&J writer (yeah, like I’m going to check and give a specific name for *that* comic) because of various church issues that make the news these days (ECLA, Anglicans…), I’m trying to imagine how you could describe doctrine well enough to have conflict over it in the H&J world:
So what about that thing which we’re all supposed to believe in if we come meet in the building with the special decorations which refer to the important things, and hear about the stuff that means important things? Do you agree?
What thing?
You know, the special thing. Which everybody’s talking about.
Oh! Well, how could anyone not believe that thing?
AMC
November 15th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
MT – An inadvertant click – while puzzling over whether they are properly called African Buffalo or Cape Buffalo – has caused me some concern for Sassy.
I assumed, since Sassy was a regular character, that she wouldn’t be gulped down by the alligator while tied to a log. I mean, the raccoon wasn’t killed while it was chained to the log, so it just makes sense.
But my stray click of the mouse led me to the list of Mark Trail characters, AND SASSY ISN’T ON THE LIST!
http://www.kingfeatures.com/features/comics/mtrail/charactMaina.htm
This will make rooting for the alligator much more exciting.
Donkey Hotey
November 15th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
MW: The narration arrow in panel three is absolutely correct.
bourbon babe, unbuckled (nee buckyswife)
November 15th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
SFox: “Can you list the order?” The correct answer is, “No, I cannot. Why don’t you tell me?”
And Slylock is both law enforcement and prosecutor? The system of justice in his little world is just as screwed up as the punch-based system in Lost Forest or the “Pretty People act with impunity” legal foundation of the Parkerverse.
SM: Hey, Sand-for-Brains—why didn’t you physically intimidate
LittleBig Shot into returning your daughter before you broke the law?FC: Bil’s had, what, how many kids now? And we’re actually supposed to believe that he’d accept a gooey cookie from one of them and eat it?
MT: Elrod is such a tease; he always stops short of giving his readers what they want: the scene where the buffalo stomps the crap out of the guys with the guns and then goes on his merry way. (And I guess by “readers,” I mean, “me.”)
Dr. Weird
November 15th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
312 AMC-
Who is that Johnny Malotte on the MT character page? He’s got a mustache and more ethnic hair than the rest of the cast.. or indeed, the world!
Gabby
November 15th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
SF Sorry, Sal, but given what we’ve seen of you and your lame-ass crew…I’m with Ralph on this.
bats :[
November 15th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
305. commodorejohn re Bizarro: I thought this was great — love the expression on Batman and Superman’s faces. (Ditto on the Bloom County sameness, too.)
308. odinthor (and Sister Sestina): I MUST go to Clifton’s next time I’m in LA. If I can find it. LA (the roads) scares the bejabbers out of me.
310. AMC: after reading that, I’m beginning to wonder if Farley’s end was really an “accident,” or something more like a long-planned suicide…
dyslexic dog
November 15th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
#312 AMC–
Well, if Sassy gets it, then the Northeast Georgia History Center will need to do some hasty revisin’.
#314 bourbon babe–
Oh, bb,u(nbw), you’re so easily teased.
Donkey Hotey
November 15th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
#315 Dr. Weird and #318 dyselxic god:
“Other characters in the strip include Johnny Malotte, a French Canadian friend who often accompanies Mark on hunting and fishing trips.” Apparently by “often” they mean “never.”
dreadedcandiru2
November 15th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Monday Strips:
ReFoob: A sick Elly sits in bed feeling sorry for herself.
Groovy Blinkerlegume: Les panics becauseSummer wants driving lessons.
AMC
November 15th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
How can you all forget ultra mustachioed Johnny Malotte and his blue buckskin wearing son?
Johnny’s fight in the bar?
Mark and the blue buckskinned boy out on the boat?
Almost getting swamped by the other passing boat?
The shots from the shore?
Then, didn’t they stop and find the gun?
I think I’d better stop. The uncomfortable thought that I’ve wasted precious moments of my life reading Mark Trail is starting to get overwhelmed by the shame that I actually remember it….
AMC
November 15th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
#318 – Damn. Looks like that alligator is going hungry AGAIN.
(Sorry, I get bold-itis whenever I write about Mark Trail.)
bourbon babe, unbuckled (nee buckyswife)
November 15th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
318 dyslexic dog: Quite true. But you know, if Elrod is going to entice me with the prospect of animal-on-hunter carnage, I don’t think it’s unreasonable of me to be miffed when he doesn’t put out!
Gabby
November 15th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
MW Final panel: When was the last time you saw a nurse wearing one of those nurse’s caps? And when was the last time you saw a zebra-skin lamp shade?
Ukulele Ike
November 15th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
MT: Man, those buffaloes look delicious.
Dr. Weird
November 15th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
318 dyslexic dog –
“Mark Trail studied biology and ecology in college before serving in World War II as a combat photographer.”
I had no idea! Of course, with the “perpetual 30s” age he’s held at, it can’t be WWII he was in… Maybe it was early Iraq or Afghanistan now?
AMC
November 15th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
Strips from Mark Trail’s last adventure with Johnny Malotte can still be found on the internet.
http://joshreads.com/?cat=14&submit=view&paged=31
dyslexic dog
November 15th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
#321 AMC–
Your litany of Johnny Malotte scenes put me in mind of this nostalgic trip down memory lane.
#323 bourbon babe–
Jack Elrod’s theme song.
Angry, Unpredictable, and Quick Buffalo
November 15th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
325 Ukelele Ike: You’re next.
bats :[
November 15th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
It’s nice to know that there were happier times, before Diana’s death (like Diana being absent from a storyline because she and Heloise went shopping in Europe), for Kit and Junior.
I think it would be cool if Kit, Jr.’s name were Abelard. Or Peter, to be subtle. But then the implications would be kind of sick…
bourbon babe, unbuckled (nee buckyswife)
November 15th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
328 dyslexic dog: Hee! Dirty dirty teaser, indeed!
Calico
November 15th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
The best 3 second video ever
(Kitty ate at the Santa Royale Hospital cafeteria)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOKxEuwQNCA
Baka Gaijin
November 15th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
Yay! I’m a corollary! Potato-ade for All, on me, Jamus!
dyslexic dog
November 15th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
#332 Calico–
Solange!
heavylifitng
November 15th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
FW: Didn’t Wally tell Rana that he would pick up Wally, Jr. at Noon on Sunday for the Browns game? The Browns are playing Monday night; ironically their rival is Baltimore, which abandoned the Mistake by the Lake years ago. Maybe the gun is for Art Modell, the guy who moved the original Browns to Baltimore; Wally’s revenge.
Buck Ripsnort
November 15th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
SFox: Dr. Weirdly was stealing milk and cookies from the Nursery School? OK, NOW I know why he looks like Snidely Whiplash wearing a burgler’s mask: he’s PURE EVIL!
queek
November 15th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
based on my extensive reading of Field & Stream magazine stories as a kid, among other things, the Cape Buffalo was considered the most dangerous of the African Big 6 game animals. The professional hunters considered it more dangerous to hunt than either elephants or rhinos.
R E S P E C T
dyslexic dog
November 15th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
Apologies if this has already been pointed out, but potato-ade is good for you (or at least some of you).
commodorejohn
November 15th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
I see from the Mark Trail cast page that Rusty is apparently adopted. This solves one mystery (how could he possibly be the offspring of Mark and Cherry?) only to open up another (how could he possibly be the offspring of anybody else?)
mr 12 oz can
November 15th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
why did adrian and dr jeff both put on sweaters during there same lame convo ??? plus where is dr good shouldnt he be telling them whats wrong with the lame detective .cue marys costume chang e in tomms strip
mr 12 oz can
November 15th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
339
rusty was the result of a affair amy winehouse had with a eskimo who sold suntan products
John C Fremont
November 15th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
#337 – “The Great Bovine,” indeed.
Baka Gaijin
November 15th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
Family Circus: They have 2 dogs? I thought they only had Barfy the puke-u-lent. What’ the other dog’s name and “cute” condition that inspired it?
Gabe
November 15th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Heh. Anyone see La Cucuracha today? I’d say its a slam on CC, but I can’t remember him ever even mentioning that strip. Is there somewhere else on the net that makes fun of comics (besides Calvin’sDad on LJ, which I’ve never seen the strip mentioned either)?
bman
November 15th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
Baldo: It’s a good thing they invited Hagar to this get-together. Nothing like a little murder and rape to break the ice.
odinthor
November 15th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
#317. bats :[ —
Here’s their map:
http://www.cliftonscafeteria.com/pages/brookdale_map.html
There’s a surface parking lot just a few lots down from Clifton’s (middle of the 600s block).
And here’s how Broadway looked about a hundred years ago, which is pre-Clifton’s and so has nothing to do with anything, except it’s part of my own site…
http://www.csulb.edu/~odinthor/socal7.html
The future location of Clifton’s would be about in the center of the pic about three-quarters of the way down which follows the text “After these refreshments…”.
Now, back to our regularly-scheduled programming . . .
MolyBendum
November 15th, 2009 at 5:18 pm
343 Baka Gaijin – The other dog is Sam, named for the systolic anterior motion (SAM) of the mitral valve that resulted in the hypertrophic cardiomyopathy that caused the sudden death of both Bil Keane’s mother and father. Isn’t that cute?
Now, just in case someone out there is a doctor or a friend of the family and that doesn’t actually make sense, then don’t blame me. That’s what Bil told me in 1918 back when we fought the Kaiser. See, that’s when men were men and dogs were named after heart conditions. That’s the way it was…and we liked it.
Baka Gaijin
November 15th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
#347 MolyBendum: Sam? Huh. I guess they couldn’t somehow link it to a valve prolapse. “Prolapse” is a funny word. Prolapse, prolapse, PROLAPSE! Try it yourself. Prolapse. Damn, I’d better get to bed. I’m getting punchy and Dingo’ll probably post something about prolapsing bodyparts (Vagina, I’m looking at you!) to give me nightmares.
Gap-Toothed Starey "HOOOO!" Guy
November 15th, 2009 at 6:28 pm
#332 Calico – LOL!
My favorite true gassy kitty story of all time is from when I first got my big grey monster Quasar. He was a tiny kitten, around 6-8 weeks old, and like many kittens that age, he had a pretty lively GI tract (I think it’s the kitten chow). Anyway, one day he started cutting these huge, audible farts, which I didn’t even know was possible for a cat. Apparently he didn’t know that, either, because every time he cut one he would jump and turn around trying to find the source of the noise.
Poteet
November 15th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
Monday Spoilers
Luann — In which we are given a strip that is blessedly free of youthful romance.
Or not.
ReFoob — In which we see again that Elly is a martyr, just a Christian martyr. I’m waiting for her phone call from Amanda Wingfield.
Poteet
November 15th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
# 349 Starey — Thank you — that was wonderful.
sugarpie
November 15th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
FWinkerbean Credit where credit is due. Batiuk has taken a lame play on words and run with it. A premise that the creators of Close to Home, or evenPuggers, would have toyed with and finally dismissed as too peurile to bother with. Today Batiuk has proven his ability to spin comedy gold from any random thought that pops into his head. Maestro! My hat is off!
KarMann
November 15th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
@sugarpie #352: Well, but of course. It’s called WRITING.
Ukulele Ike
November 15th, 2009 at 6:48 pm
queek @ 337: Two thick slabs of Cape Buffalo, larded with pancetta, judiciously salted and peppered, resting on a bed of thinly-sliced onion, roasted in a slow oven for 3 hours….the resultant juices poured over slices of the rich bronzed meat and a bowl of steaming tagliatelle….
RJ the Janitor
November 15th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
If anyone needs a gassy kitty I got one you can have.
Calico
November 15th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
#341 – More like the hellspawn of Amy Winehouse and Quentin Tarantino.
#349 – I wish that was my kitty, faux burps or not, but I have two spectacular cats at present, and most of the neighborhood cats stop by from time to time for a Veterinary-food-approved snack. Belching is optional. : )
Toronto
November 15th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
Johnny Malotte – some call him ‘The Joker”.
Calico
November 15th, 2009 at 8:15 pm
#354 – Ohhhh Yeaaahhh!
(The Urge)
Mibbitmaker
November 15th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
Lio was very funny today.
However, it was sad to see the great lounge lizard Tony Clifton reduced to taking yearbook pictures in a grade school to eke a living now.
On the other hand, at least finally Tony met someone he wouldn’t dare browbeat, for once. There’s great satisfaction in that!
mr 12 oz can
November 15th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
rice pudding rankings 1. the bum boat 2. the bucket 3. lost forest cafe 4. cues crib 5. where ever fred basset eats take that dr pappagoras
Angry, Unpredictable, and Quick Buffalo
November 15th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
354 Ukulele Ike: Seriously—you might want to keep an eye out next time you leave the house. Not that it will do you any good….
Mibbitmaker
November 15th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
9CL: Aw, can’t Thorax actually be dead? Please??
UncleJeff
November 15th, 2009 at 9:32 pm
Rex & June Morgan Where Arrrrrrre Yoooooouuuu?
Let’s see, who gets to legally trace phone calls?
The police, right?. And the police just hand off that
information regarding a possible kidnapping/extortion plot to nursing home employees trying to cover their asses. Riiight.
Call Officers Toody and Muldoon! Get to the golf course ASAP.
(God, I’m old).
UncleJeff
November 15th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Funky Winkerbean Sunday Edition: Winkertown Nerds — The Next Generation
dyslexic dog
November 15th, 2009 at 9:38 pm
#363 Uncle Jeff–
FWIW, Khrushchev’s nude and I go wild.
Uncle Lumpy
November 15th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
#365 d-dog –
Ooh . . . ooh!
Mibbitmaker
November 15th, 2009 at 9:52 pm
FW: Oh, it’s the Who Gives A Rat’s Ass Debates! Good thing we didn’t miss ‘em….
MW: Mary: “What’s with all this ‘both’ stuff, Dimwitty…?”
Mibbitmaker
November 15th, 2009 at 9:56 pm
#366 (UL): ……The big, dumber zookeeper from “It’s The Hair Bear Bunch”, right? ;o)
(…or Arnold Horshack….)
doug
November 15th, 2009 at 10:38 pm
TheDiva@247-You’re not quite right. What else is Notes From Underground about?
Vince M
November 15th, 2009 at 10:48 pm
357: Toronto – ohh yeah, I do love a ‘Timberland Tales’ ref! But I always saw Rusty as the Maurice in the group.
Perky Bird
November 15th, 2009 at 10:58 pm
FW: Not only has Wally lost the ability to recognize faces, he’s also lost the ability to read a football schedule. The Browns play a Monday night game this week. They don’t have a Sunday home game until December 6. Well, he and Wally, Jr., can just get a lot of catching-up done while sitting in the cold waiting for the game to start, I suppose.
Dr. Weird
November 15th, 2009 at 11:05 pm
343 Baka Gaijin –
Sam the scruffy mutt was found on the street and lured home by the
adorable moppetsmelonheads in a continuing storyline some years back. I think it was around the Pelopenesian War.I suspect the larger amount of detail his fur has compared to Barfy keeps him off-circle much of the time.
Fashion Police
November 15th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
Rushing from Detective Hewlett’s bedside to the golf course, Miss Cory shows off the latest in from the Lu Ann Powers collection.
We recently had the opportunity to make the acquaintance of the 1959 United States Ladies’ Amateur champion. She was still a college student at the time, so she may perhaps be forgiven if her picture the cover of Sports Illustrated that year was not up to Miss Cory’s standards of formality in golf attire.
It would be enlightening to learn of Detective Hewlett’s response when Miss Cory informed him that her country club required neckties and plus-fours for gentlemen golfers.
Ukulele Ike
November 15th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
Angry, Unpredictable and Quick Buffalo @ 361: (picturing you between two slices of rye bread, with horseradish-dill Havarti, carmelized onions, and heavy on the mayo)
megankoumori
November 17th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
The look of despair on Jason Fox’s face says it all: “I was once one of the funniest characters on the comics page, and now I’ve been reduced to cameos with Ziggy?! Hagar’s bad enough, but Ziggy?! Good thing the guys from ‘Crock’ aren’t here or I’d blow my brains out with one of my own rockets.”
Deb T
November 17th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
I think Rusty’s voice must sound like Rocky in Rocky and Bullwinkle. It just fits.