The Comics Curmudgeon

Main content:

Wednesday is for soaps

Mark Trail, 11/18/09

Here’s a question for you: am I spoiled by Mark Trail? I mean, yes, this is the sort of wordless action strip that makes the feature worth reading, and yes, Mark has waded into the swamp to deliver a crushing blow to an alligator’s mouth, without regard for his personal safety, in order to save his mutant ward’s whiny little dog. I should just be able to sit back and enjoy it! And yet … well, he’s not using his fists, is he? He’s using a tool to do his fighting for him. Sure, for an ordinary human punching an alligator would be a recipe for certain death, but Mark is not ordinary, and may not even be human. When his violent righteousness turns on the poachers, as it inevitably will, will Mark think, “Hey, I am already holding this stick! It helped me beat the alligator — maybe it will help me defeat these men as well!” And once there’s an intermediary object between Mark and his targets, well, it’s all downhill from there. The next think you know, he’ll be suing them, or writing angry letters to the editor about their misdeeds.

Gil Thorp, 11/18/09

Today is the day that reveals the true shape of Gil Thorp’s football season B-plot: it’s Cyrano de Bergerac, if Cyrano were a band geek, and instead of feeding love poetry to Christian he just gave him recaps of high-school volleyball games, and while watching the whole drama you kept waiting for the action to switch back to Christian’s teammate’s brother in prison. Still, I have a feeling that Valerie will learn that the person who really enjoyed watching her play volleyball was a slightly cross-eyed clarinet player, and true love will blossom at last!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/18/09

You know, I really and truly would have been delighted if the whole Becka-Tim side story ended up being entirely tangental to the plot, with Cue successfully negotiating the return of the wayward oldsters with the crooked nursing home operator while Becka fended off Tim’s ham-handed advances. But now it appears that the two narrative threads will finally meet, so I’m hoping that the fisticuffs between the exceptionally dim small-time marijuana dealer and the socially awkward fishing magazine writer will at least be kind of hilarious.

Apartment 3-G, 11/18/09

“Kitchen staff” no doubt sets alarm bells off in Ari’s head. “Wait, she used to be rich, and now the only person she can afford to exploit to get her meds is me? Danger, danger!”

(By the way, if you’re trying woo a pill-popper with rice pudding in actual New York, might I suggest Rice to Riches at 37 Spring Street in Manhattan? YUMMY!)

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 18, 2009 at 12:34 pm and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Gil Thorp, Mark Trail, Rex Morgan, M.D.. |

267 responses to “Wednesday is for soaps”

UnknownEric
November 18th, 2009 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

GT: Is she wearing a black evening dress with an M taped to it?
Nate
November 18th, 2009 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

…and why, we ask ourselves, will true love flourish between Deion and Valerie? Because Valerie has stumpy non-arms, with her elbows located just under her armpit, ending in GIGANTIC hands. This not only happens to make her inordinately talented at volleyball, but also to be Deion’s fetish.
Baron Bizarre
November 18th, 2009 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

RE: Mark Trail: Shouldn’t the gator use its jaws that can crunch bone to snap that stick that Mark is hitting it with, and then eat Mark, Bob and Sassy? Or is it a magic stick?
UncleJeff
November 18th, 2009 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

MT: Wonderful action. The only thing that would have made me happier is if Mark had thrown Rusty at the gator. Final panel: Rusty trying to keep the gator’s jaws from closing. And Poacher Bob screaming IT IS RUSTY!

Rex (Rex? Rex? Who The Hell is Rex?) Morgan MIA — I’m predicting a slap fight. With the old lady conking either Cue or Tim over the head with a golf club.
Shortpacked
November 18th, 2009 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

A band geek can PROBABLY net (get it?) a jock girl with tiny arms and giant hands. Probably. How cross-eyed is he?
Calico
November 18th, 2009 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

Watch it turn out that wimpy looking Tim has a Black Belt in some form of Marshal Art.

If only!
Calvin's Cardboard Box
November 18th, 2009 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

MT- You are missing the key esthetic of Mark Trail, here. Mark is gently placing a log in the gator’s mouth to prevent it from biting down – notice the absence of motion lines. The human poachers will not be treated nearly as kindly. Mark reserves his violence for humans.

Really, the whole plot is an exercise in the “shoot the dog” trope. Evildoers are outed by their willingness to put a dog in harm’s way. And the threat of harm to the dog or the alligator has a much more visceral effect than the actual violence that will be meted out to the poachers – who are, after all, only trying to make a living. They would be forgiven for beating their wives, but not for tying up Sassy.
tb4000
November 18th, 2009 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

A3G: “The kitchen staff and I were inseparable, actually. Anytime I would ask Mumsy to look at the project I made for school, she would brush me aside and have Conseula praise me instead. I can’t for the life of me figure out why she wouldn’t want to spend time with me though….”
Calico
November 18th, 2009 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

Martial, I meant.
Damn it, I need to enroll in Les is Moore’s lame English HS class.
survivor
November 18th, 2009 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

MT: The coloring monkeys got it wrong. Mark Trail is actually electrocuting the alligator with an undersea power line. Unsurprisingly, the lethal amount of amperage has absolutely no effect on Mark.
Oavis
November 18th, 2009 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

The dog, in its terror and excitement, appears to be pooping out the comic author’s name. A daring move!
Gregory Earls
November 18th, 2009 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

TINA’S GROVE Was nobody as disturbed by today’s strip as I was? What kind of weird sex antics is going on in THAT apartment?
gagott68
November 18th, 2009 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

MT: If Sassy is so terrified, why is her rope taut in the direction OF the alligator? Instinctively, she should have moved to the far side of the stake to get away but she’s deeply stupid and by saving her life Mark has again thwarted the process of natural selection. But he does that every month when he saves Rusty’s worthless life over and over again.
commodorejohn
November 18th, 2009 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

A3G – I feel like I’m reading a tract by some sort of rice-pudding themed religious sect. “Excuse me, sister, but have you heard the good news about rice pudding?”

Crankshaft – Seriously, what the hell kind of movie is that? That’s about the most boring story idea I’ve ever heard.

DT – I’d go back and check whether Dick is correct or just being an asshole, but to be honest I lost track of the storyline several months ago.

FW – “And by the way, my life is an unending cavalcade of misery and humilliation and everybody should feel very sorry for me.”

Luann – …as much as I hate to admit it, I’m actually kind of looking forward to this storyline, in a twisted sort of way. Normally I’d just be resigned to the fact that it’d never live up to my expectations, but since I’m expecting a loud, traumatic festival of the exact kind of squick Luann is known for, I’m not so sure.

MT – OH. MY. GOD.

MW – “I’m pregnant! Now our marriage is safe from any problems forever!”

MC – Well, Maureen’s a programmer, so she’s intelligent as well as hot. All she needs to do is find a lonely millionaire geek and she’s optimally qualified.

RMMD – Oh please, God, if Cue really has to be the villain, could Tim at least get a knife to the gut for his headstrong dumbass routine? Please?

SF – Discussion question: what creatures could possibly have spawned Ted Forth?

SM – Psst, Big Shot, you might want to avoid peeking your head out from around the impenetrable barrier. Then again, the cops seem to be locked onto exactly one position to fire at, so I guess it’s no big deal.
odinthor
November 18th, 2009 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

Apt. 3-G. — Did Bobbie ♪ “live like richest folk? But what the folk don’t know is that the Pruitts are flat broke!” ♫

MW. —

How’s Lawrence reacting to the news?

“Lawrence? Oh, he says he hopes it doesn’t take after Charley.”
PeteMoss
November 18th, 2009 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

MT – This strip made my morning when I read it over breakfast. That’s an outstanding ‘gator head, Mr. Elrod! Mark smackin’ that gator with a stick is priceless. I predict the gator will make off with the stick and then Mark’s hands will be free to make fists! But what if Rusty the Encephalitic Freakdroid frightens the poachers away with his crys of “Oh, Sassy?” I know it would send me running and screaming!
Bitter Scribe
November 18th, 2009 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

Rex? Rex? Who The Hell is Rex?

You sound like a Bears fan.
Poteet
November 18th, 2009 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

GT — I never understand Death To Gil Thorp except for the prison-drilling strip, and then I wished I hadn’t understood it. In this strip, it looks as if the shorter guy without glasses is urging the taller guy with glasses to attend a volleyball match, except for the last panel when it seems the taller guy with glasses is telling the shorter guy without glasses that HE should attend a volleyball match. Thank God I’ll never have to attend one of their volleyball matches. And except for when it looms before me menacingly on this website, thank God I don’t have to read Death To Gil Thorp.
Poteet
November 18th, 2009 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

# 14 commodorejohn — Words cannot express how much I loved your MW comment.
Patrick
November 18th, 2009 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

There’s a thief in comics land! He stole an alligator’s body, Valerie’s forearms and Becka’s neck!
fishmorgjp
November 18th, 2009 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

Yow, what action in Mark Trail — I got the impression that Mark was whomping the ‘gator so hard that its head and tail were flying away seperately!
Plissken
November 18th, 2009 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

Unfortunately for Jamaar, the Milford security camera has caught him giving long the New Jersey salute. At the going rate of $250,000, that’s a hefty fine. He should have taken a cue from Deion, who is clearly wearing the classic comedy disguise of novelty nose, glasses and mustache to walk clandestinely through the halls.
Dragon of Life
November 18th, 2009 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

Surely I can’t be the only one who sees hints of a dignified, classy mustache on that gator. Clearly the dialogue was removed from this strip so we wouldn’t realize Mark is the villain today. “Hello, friend puppy! My exuberance to see you overwhelms my dignity! Joy and rapture!” Panel 2: “Egads, sir, I must protest your actions!”
Dondi's Dad
November 18th, 2009 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

Judging by Tuesday’s Mark Trail, the gator was already ashore, a short jump behind Sassy. But faster than he could snap, Mark has cleared the bushes, jumped to the opposite side of the gator, AND grabbed a board, AND slammed said board into the jaws of the beast. Almost as impressive is the second fellow catching Sassy; less than a second ago, he was standing in the spot where the leaping gator would have landed after devouring the pooch. But thanks to Mark, he’s perfectly positioned to make the catch. What luck!

Can we now call all future impossible changes in position between daily strips as “jumping the gator”? Or has that been done?
Poteet
November 18th, 2009 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

9CL — Ummm….oo-kay. Just lie down for a couple of weeks, Brooke, and I’m sure you’ll feel better.
One-eyed Wolfdog
November 18th, 2009 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

MC: I’m not sure the table is the best place to bring that, but as long as we clear the plates off first, I guess…
Anonamuse
November 18th, 2009 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

Calico, y245:

Well, Josh killed the thread “so you don’t have to”!

Also, looks as though neither of us is on our game today in re: correct spelling. Chin up — these things happen! May your day only improve from here on out! :)
Poteet
November 18th, 2009 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

MT — When this is all over, that gator is going to fire his agent and take a month off.
Baka Gaijin
November 18th, 2009 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

Sally Forth: In those tiny black dots for Sally’s eyes, you can see horror of the last visit’s drumsticks.
Jacob
November 18th, 2009 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

Gil Thorp: Is that guy flipping the bird in the first panel? I didn’t know you could do that in comics.

Mark Trail: I can see that a lot is happening, but honestly, without any bold lettering, it just seems so…. quiet.
UncleJeff
November 18th, 2009 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

17 bitter scribe:
Rex? Rex? Who The Hell is Rex?
You sound like a Bears fan.

Sorry. I screwed up a reference to an old C&W song: “Alice? Alice? Who the fuck is Alice?”
Lettuce
November 18th, 2009 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

When I’m sad, I remind myself that there’s an alternative universe in which Mark Trail instead hits the puppy with the stick, then glares at the alligator as he picks up the limp corpse and says: “MINE!”
Bart
November 18th, 2009 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

MT – And what about Bob? He’s a poacher dude yet he doesn’t have sideburns or dark hair and he has 1) saved Mark’s life, 2) befriended Mark, 3) introduced Mark to the wife, and 4) helped with Sassy’s Rescue. All of these conflicting emotions make things somewhat ambiguous in normally straight forward Markland. It will be interesting to see if Mark has any sense of proportion or degrees of restraint in justice-meting. Could we be treated tomorrow to Mark’s delivery to Bob of a “shove of fury” or a “slap of justice” or an “eye-poke of vengeance?” I can hardly wait … oh I forgot, I CAN HARDLY WAIT!!
Uncle Lumpy
November 18th, 2009 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

#33 Bart –

You can hardly wait!
Gal Friday
November 18th, 2009 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

MT: But where are the poachers? With gun?
Uncle Ritzy Fritz
November 18th, 2009 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

22: …and evidently Valerie forgot to remove her Stevie Wonder getup after Halloween.
Edgy DC
November 18th, 2009 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

Something must be wrong with the coloring. I can’t spot the facial hair on that alligator.
Larry Fine
November 18th, 2009 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

BB — Insert fart joke here.
Little A and his Verkokte Magic Ball
November 18th, 2009 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

MT: How do all of these people manage to see in the dark? They have no flashlights. They should al l be tripping over logs and falling into the watere. I know rotting vegetation is supposed to send off some kind of pale green light. Is that how? Why couldn’t they have chipped in a buck a piece and bought a chicken in the local A & P? Then they could have spared the little doggy.

LUANN: I think Bernice is HOT! When I brought this up to my therapist, he said, Let’s talk about this! I know from experience, it’s those nerdy-looking intellectutal young ladies who are hottiest in the sack!
Grandstanding Oddball
November 18th, 2009 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

MW – You notice how Delilah can’t even say the word “pregnant”? This strip is like the ones they used to show us in Catholic school. During my Catholic school life, I learned that women were only ever “with child.”
Little A and his Verkokte Magic Ball
November 18th, 2009 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

Sorry about my speling. As I have mentioned before, I was “educated” in The Bronx.
Bart
November 18th, 2009 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

#34 Ha ha, good job. I couldn’t figure out how to bold.
Binder's Butter Beans
November 18th, 2009 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

“…so I’m hoping that the fisticuffs between the exceptionally dim small-time marijuana dealer and the socially awkward fishing magazine writer will at least be kind of hilarious.”

I’m laughing my head off just at your description – how could it NOT be hilarious?! Oh, right: because you’re not writing it, the Rex Morgan guy is. Shame, that.
Little Guy
November 18th, 2009 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

MT: Out of stress, poor Sassy pooped a Jackelrod Ball.
Uncle Lumpy
November 18th, 2009 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

#42 Bart –

You <b>can hardly wait!</b>

Now boldly go!
AmazingThor
November 18th, 2009 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

Maybe the rules of volleyball have changed since I was a kid. Are the players no longer allowed to LOOK at the crowd? Or is volleyball so popular that she could never spot her boyfriend among the teeming millions?
Sue D. Nymme
November 18th, 2009 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

I’ll BET Henry and your mom are in that trailer!
bats :[
November 18th, 2009 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

4. UncleJeff: I thought the same thing about Rusty. And you know what? You’re absolutely right!
cheech wizard
November 18th, 2009 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

A3G – Generally, asking a woman about her “pudding” is not considered acceptable first date conversation. At least, I got my face slapped the time I tried it.
Calico
November 18th, 2009 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

#27 – Well, thanx!
Misspelling intentional, this tyme

I totally want a poster-size print of today’s MT.
One-eyed Wolfdog
November 18th, 2009 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

“Heavenly. It brings back memories. We fed our kitchen staff rice pudding… well, I say ‘rice pudding’… there was definitely rice in it. Very nutritious, in any event, I’m sure, and they only called it ‘gruel’ as a sort of – oh, you know, a jest or a jape of some kind. I would sit with them as I ate my own meager plate of lamb chops or rib roast or whatever sort of scraps, and how we laughed together! Until tears were rolling down their cheeks. Wonderful times, Ari.”
AndyL
November 18th, 2009 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

Sally Forth is building up to the best holiday story line ever!

Ted Forth’s relatives are going to be great.
Calico
November 18th, 2009 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

What worries me about Bobbie is how frighteningly similar her and Margo’s backgrounds appear to be, at least thus far.
If these two ever clash, the LoFo Fist Of Justice will truly feel inadequate.
Sequitur
November 18th, 2009 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

Curtis: I Googled “Yves Peugeot” and all I got was a listing of guys named “Yves Peugeot” – no perfume.
So obviously Michelle just uses plain old toilet water (possibly from the real toilet) and makes up French sounding names so she can snob out on everyone.
And Barry never did tell us what he actually smelled.
BRWombat
November 18th, 2009 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

GT: You know, if Valerie would try, like, opening her eyes during the volleyball game, she might actually be able to see for herself whether Jamarr were really there. And as a nice side benefit, she could even maybe even, I don’t know, see enough to hit the ball with her weirdly-jointed arms before it smacks her in the face? Just a thought.
Steve S
November 18th, 2009 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

It’s telling that the Rex Morgan artist has worked extremely hard with shadow and line to make Tim look menacing, and yet he’s not half as scary as a happy Rusty.
Joe Blevins
November 18th, 2009 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

GT: “Clarinet players do not tell the Ghost what’s cool” would seemingly make a great t-shirt slogan, if only it didn’t prompt the inevitable question, “What does that mean?” from hapless onlookers. And then by the time you actually did explain it — which would involve at least a cursory overview of Gil Thorp itself — you’d just be headachy and tired. But I will file “Clarinet players do not tell the Ghost what’s cool” under the heading: “Catchphrases I Wish the Late Patrick Swayze Had Actually Said.”
Lawyerbob
November 18th, 2009 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

GT: It looks like Jamaar has insisted that Deion and he can only meet in disguise, to foil spies from the volley ball team. That’s the only reason they would be wearing fake moustaches, right? In a sign of his sad need to please, Deion’s taken the disguise one step further with the whole Groucho Marx glasses, nose and bushy mustache combo.
Comcis Fan
November 18th, 2009 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

MT: Why is Rusty blond in the last panel? I thought he had a shoe-polish black mop. Has he been scared blond instead of gray?

Dennis: Alice quickly locks her computer so Dennis, even at his pre-literate stage, doesn’t catch her answering an ad from a bored married exec ISO frisky fun with a frustrated mom of a menace.

BB: Thanks to Greg and Mort Walker for keeping the noises above the general’s belt line.

Lacking adequate comics to snark in my own paper, I went looking online and visited the FBoFW site. There cartoon today wasn’t snark-generating. I did notice that a composer was inspired by a Lynn Johnston interview to write a song, “Feels Like a Kiss.” (Good pop song.)

http://musicbyyo.com/MBY/Music.html

And here’s the interview.

http://www.cbc.ca/thehour/videos.html?id=733372667

For those who thought Lynn manipulated her characters in ways the characters wouldn’t have chosen, I note she said, “It’s the only job where you can literally play God.” (I think the real Almighty might give His creatures more free will.)
I didn’t catch whatever it was that inspired the song.
PeteMoss
November 18th, 2009 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

Uncle Lumpy @ 45

But…but…But how did you do that with out making those words bold? You are truly some kind of wizard!
The Scientist
November 18th, 2009 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

Aristotle’s got a big spoon! Can you dig it?
Victor Von
November 18th, 2009 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

You know what I’ve never said? “This rice pudding, it brings such memories!” That’s what I’ve never said! Unless it brought back memories of a bland, watery dessert that is actually improved by raisins. That would make sense, actually.

In other news… well, horribly deformed people aren’t exactly news in Gil Thorp. Even so, I’m still amazed that I never noticed Valerie’s incredibly unconvincing prosthetic arm.
RJ the Janitor
November 18th, 2009 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

Lost & Found Department:

Purple jumpsuit
Keys to a Volkswagen Microbus
Salmon colored squares
Alligator teeth
One very large button
Do-it-yourself cancer detection kit
Stray goat
Virginity
Rat’s ass
Film for a digital camera
Plugger’s plug
Hole in one

There may be more in the back.
odinthor
November 18th, 2009 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

#57. Joe Blevins. Non-comics, but another for your catchphrase file: “Talk into the sardine can, and the tomato can will always find you.” Good advice!
KarMann
November 18th, 2009 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

FW: Gee, Les, maybe if you’re talking to someone taking pictures of you driving (because who else would you be talking to there?), it’s a pretty good bet somebody noticed you’re driving. Especially back when taking pictures meant film, and developing, and having to reload every couple dozen pictures or so.

Could today’s Pickles be a veiled commentary on Batiuk’s output? Is it irresponsible to speculate? It would be irresponsible not to!
Old School Allie Cat
November 18th, 2009 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

MW – You’ll note that Moy and Giella coyly give Del’s due date as “the spring” so that we can’t count back nine months and determine if she got pregnant some enchanted evening, or some other slightly less enchanted, but more fertile evening.
cj
November 18th, 2009 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

Trail:
Mark appears to be patiently holding the plywood beam in front of the gator like a milkbone in front of a puppy.

Rex:
I’m rooting for Cueball. Well, as much as someone who doesn’t get the strip in the local newspaper and can’t be bothered to look for it outside this blog can. It’s either him or the office-drone-who-gets-drunk-and-beats-the-wife guy. Oh, and “Tim”’s face isn’t half dark because there aren’t any street lights – his dark side takes over whenever he senses suspicious activity.
Aesahaettr
November 18th, 2009 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

Just wait until Mark throws that stick into the air and it turns into a spaceship.
DaveyK
November 18th, 2009 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

…and eventually, Mark Trail will be indistinguishable from Spider-Man.
Graymalkin
November 18th, 2009 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

Another vote for Rice to Riches on Spring Street in NYC. The cheesecake flavor is particularly delightful.
MaryAnnTheRest
November 18th, 2009 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

Luann: I don’t understand why Brad is nervous about his parents having dinner with his girlfriend. Wasn’t it a lot more awkward when he had to tell them about his gay roommate?
Digger
November 18th, 2009 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

GT: Reality check, Jamarr. Guys who refer to themselves as “The Ghost” are not cool.

MT: Here’s hoping that the other two poacher guys will be impressed with Mark’s gator-bashing and will invite him to join their merry band of criminals. Man, they won’t even see the fist coming.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
November 18th, 2009 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

Baldo: I’ve gotta admit, that’s the cutest boy with a totally avulsed lower jaw I’ve ever seen.

C’haft: Aw, c’mon, Ed, don’t knock The Care Bears Movie until you’ve watched it.

DtM: “Sorry, Dennis, that’s not a dictionary, that’s the Necronomicon. And… well, what do you know, Marvin’s in here!”

GA: If you heard all about it already, why’d you ask, asshole?

HtH: I don’t understand the question. Why don’t men make better husbands… than what? They certainly make better husbands than women do. Or cows. Or frilled lizards. Or igneous rock. In fact, I’d say men make better husbands than most anything else out there.

JP: Finally, a woman in the comics who’s both attractive and distinctive! I love the little pug nose and Julia Roberts-esque slightly oversized mouth. This is how Luann’s Toni would look if drawn by Eduardo Barretto. I think all comics should be drawn by Eduardo Barretto.

Ghost-Who-Parents-Badly: Oh, look, the little brownshirts are giving their first “heil Hitler” salutes! How cute!

R&R: I almost never laugh at this strip, or even get an “awww that’s cute” out of it, but I do respect the fact that the writers have the way kids think nailed. Too bad kids aren’t funny. Remember the last time a kid told you a joke? “Okay, there was this, uh, this guy? And he goes to a bar, and he says, oh wait, he’s a, what do you call those church guys, a priest! Yeah. And he says to the other guy, oh, there’s another guy too, and…” And that’s why Red & Rover is not funny.

RiR: Librarian’s got back.

S-M: Geez, cops, he’s right there. Don’t circle around him or anything.
Les of the Jungle Patrol
November 18th, 2009 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

The underside of the gator’s mouth is not dark from shading, but from a hipster chin-beard. Thus MT is smiting not only a facial-haired animal, but signs of modern times as well.

If life were fair, Trail would get hideously maimed or possibly eaten by the crock.

Also, this has got to be the worst camping trip ever! He gets knocked out, they’re stuck out in the swamp for weeks and weeks and then a crock tries to eat their dog. If MT proposed a trip to me, I’d check if he had a life insurance policy on me and ask him if he’s been having suicidal thoughts. I thought I’d had sucky camping trips, but I’ve got nothing on him. This is like the Blair Witch plus gators. And with his kid during the school year. When he gets home, he’s going to loose custody of Rusty. Assuming they get back.
Mars
November 18th, 2009 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

For those who want to know which strip won the Amazon Comic Strip Superstar contest, it was this one:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=amb_link_85856611_15?ie=UTF8&docId=1000442601&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-3&pf_rd_r=0NBK0BFJ2NEZ5BXV85JZ&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=496992971&pf_rd_i=2128878011

This contest was for nothing. The blandness of newspaper strips isn’t going to change anytime soon.
One-eyed Wolfdog
November 18th, 2009 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

I voted for Girl in the Amazon contest but I wasn’t too delighted about the fact that several of them were recycled Ozy and Millie strips – that doesn’t exactly seem like putting your best foot forward.
Master Softheart
November 18th, 2009 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

There is much good and evil in today’s comics that call out for softheartedness:

9CL: The male author of the strip bravely takes a stand in favor of objectification of women, putting the sentiment into the mouth of a female character to give it added legitimacy. As he shows us, all right thinking folk understand that the displaced sexual gratification provided by a symbolic object of lust in forums such as beauty pageants, men’s magazines, or USO shows serves as a perfectly natural and healthy reward for real men whose lives are consumed by the structured violence of the military and the nihilism of total war. Indeed, in the last few days we have learned that Gram bravely did her patriotic duty by using her sexuality to reinforce the motivation to mass violence, and if anyone objects to that on grounds of gender equality or the broader negative consequences of objectifying women, then they are clearly effete, feminized intellectuals who hate America and want to sap our fighting men of their manly essence.

Thankfully, despite her daughter being exactly the kind of left-wing academic who might raise such objections, we know that Juliette is quite comfortable with using her sexuality to manipulate others in both her professional and personal life, so I expect her qualms to be quickly overcome.

JP: The playful beat-down being administered by the widow D’vito for Sam’s unethical conduct and generally terminal arrogance obviously meets with the approval of Rico (who, aside from looking like a generic thug in Spider-man, seems like a wonderfully Jeeves-like manservant – equally comfortable doing internet research on fake insurance companies and physically disposing of unwanted guests). And I have to admit that, even though Sam’s hunch will ultimately be proven right and the new femme fatale will be proven in time (possibly best measured on a geological scale) to have been behind her husband’s murder, I am taking as much pleasure in watching him be completely outmaneuvered as I did in the brief moment of action last week.

Woody Wilson has convinced me – I’m leaving academia and going to law school.

Phantom: The Walkers have always pursued a unique form of progressive home-schooling for their children that I’ve much admired, combining applied work in ancient tribal secrets of the Bandar with studies of international human rights law and highly idiosyncratic historical courses based on the Phantom Chronicles in Skull Cave. I look forward to seeing what Kit has in store now that he doesn’t have to compromise with Diana in shaping the curriculum.

Gil Thorp(e): Through careful writing and deft plot development, I have been emotionally drawn into this storyline. That is to say, I am looking forward to some kind of karmic justice befalling “The Ghost” – ideally delivered in the style of Dick Tracy.

Luann: I generally enjoy the Brad-Toni plotline – the touching story of a retarded but kindly man-child gradually achieving a sexual awakening in his mid-30’s after several decades of frustration, confusion, and studied obliviousness to the competition of TJ’s homosexual desire. That said, I’m not sure that I can handle the Very Freudian Thanksgiving Special that is shaping up for next week. Watching the sublimation of Oedipal desire into holiday cooking while Brad looks confused and TJ tries to take advantage of Ms. DeGroot after getting her drunk on cooking sherry is arguably beyond the limit for a family comic.

SF: Now this is how to run a Thanksgiving plotline. The traditional Forth family’s Autumn Festival of Passive Aggressive Despair will display as much human misery as a week of Funky Winkerbean, but the characters will so successfully displace their self-loathing and emotional immaturity through pop-culture references and snappy dialog that it will still be fun!

MT: I finally realized what was bothering me about this story: Sassy is actually Scrappy-Do. Mark, please for the love of God let that alligator finish him.

On the bright side, the close-up of Rusty yesterday actually looked much less deformed than usual. He could have been a poorly manufactured Howdy-Doody doll with dyed hair rather than something imagined by Salvador Dali on a mix of acid and neat vodka.
One-eyed Wolfdog
November 18th, 2009 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

#73 – I am impressed by, but skeptical of, any attempt to isolate a single reason why Red & Rover is not funny. Other than the tautological one.
Baka Gaijin
November 18th, 2009 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

#64 odinthor: A great quote from a Great American.
ignatz
November 18th, 2009 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

If Michelle can afford three-hundred-dollar-a-bottle perfume, why the hell is she living in Curtis’s neighborhood?
NutellaonToast
November 18th, 2009 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

I’m sorry, but MT is just TOO far fetched today. There is not one single locale in which both alligators and baseball bat trees are both found.
Hank
November 18th, 2009 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

I have reached the point where Mark Trail is seriously, and unironically, my favorite comic strip. Who would have thought that a nature writer would turn into a better superhero than the guy who was bit by radioactive spider?
bourbon babe, unbuckled
November 18th, 2009 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

y236 Sequitur: I liked your mash up, too. But what I like more is that you (and plenty of others) do stick your neck out, sharp edges be damned. (Tongue not in cheek here.)
Deb T
November 18th, 2009 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

Why do all the African Americans in Gil Thorpe have mustaches?
Surely those black brushstrokes are not meant to be upper lips in shadow? That would be odd.
Roto13
November 18th, 2009 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

Close your eyes and imagine that girl in the second panel of Gil Thorp desperately dribbling a basketball with that horrifying stub she has for a left arm. You´ll either burst into laughter or a cold sweat.
Steve the Pocket
November 18th, 2009 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

@#75: Especially since, if I’ve read the rules correctly, the winner isn’t actually getting in any newspapers… just the Universal Press website.
AndyL
November 18th, 2009 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

The worldlessness of today’s Mark Trail just serves to make the signature ball stand out more.

It looks so out of place, like it’s a Jesus sticker an overprotective parent has put over a naughty word in a book.
Brian
November 18th, 2009 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

Panel one of Mark trail today would make a great fridge magnet. Try to imagine something more hilarious than an out of context image of a gator about to devour a puppy.
gnome de blog
November 18th, 2009 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

The kitchen staff, eh? Wouldn’t it be fun if Bobbie Merrill turned out to be Margo’s half-sister?
David Schraub
November 18th, 2009 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

Who is the wood gnome who’s now clutching Sassy? I don’t the that gator is the only forest creature fixin’ for a canine meal.
Brad the Bold
November 18th, 2009 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

Shaft – Ed misses yet another not so subtle hint to stop being such an asshole.

M’duke – I’m pretty sure you can’t sell human remains on eBay.

SFx – If perspective works in the Shylock universe, either the dude in front weighs 65 pounds or the guy in back goes about 650. And the warty chicken has Mr Wilson’s single bead of sweat!!!

SM – Action? Don’t kid yourself, Parker.
Mr Foofram
November 18th, 2009 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

Rex:
Which Henry is with Mom inside that trailer? Henry Mitchell?
Zee
November 18th, 2009 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

Pregnancy storylines have a tendency to be tedious in even the best written strips; in a strip like Mary Worth, well..unless Del suddenly starts craving chicken livers and wearing a tannis root charm, this is going to be the most boring MW story ever. and that’s saying something.
Calico
November 18th, 2009 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

#80 – Tax breaks.
queek
November 18th, 2009 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

OT Webcomic Stuff:

We got to see the punchline of the “Dagwood runs into the mailman” trope today in Weapon Brown. Its not what you think. Its also pretty gross, even for Weapon Brown. consider yourselves warned.

MC: dayum, Maureen! Loved the little “anime sigh” cloud from Ashley as well.
Birthmark Hal
November 18th, 2009 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

@68

Mark’s learned to solve problems with rudimentary tools. It’s only a matter of time before he starts using fire and flaked stone. There will be no escape from the flint axe of justice.

As for Apartment 3G, remember that military bases, new age cults and militia compounds all have kitchen staffs too.
Poteet
November 18th, 2009 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

# 63 RJ — Thanks for the listing. If it’s okay, I’ll take care of the stray goat until the owner claims it. It’s definitely the cutest item you’ve got.
Poteet
November 18th, 2009 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

# 83 babe — Yeah. What you said.

DT — We’ve all learned a very important lesson here, which is that when you’re in the witness protection program and you join a circus and disguise yourself as the ringmaster and get to know the unusual people in the circus with their unusual names and especially the unpleasant clown with the really annoying laugh…oh, never mind.
Larry Fine
November 18th, 2009 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

MT — Sassy’s close brush with death caused her to release a huge turd, which has been tastefully covered up by Jack Elrod’s famous signature.
Violet
November 18th, 2009 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

One naturally speculates on how one’s lifestyle will change with the passage of time, but I have to say, if getting older means my suitors are going to start plying me with sleeping pills and rice pudding instead of liquor, I’m…just not ready for that.
troy macgregor
November 18th, 2009 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth: Her baby may be due in Spring, but Delilah is overdue on a trip to Best Buy. Hello!, my dad’s college years are calling! They want their stereo back.

Baldo: Why is it when I imagine this boy talking, all that comes to mind is that “Liza Minelli!” kid from School of Rock?
Sequitur
November 18th, 2009 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

76. Baka Gaijin
And would that Great American happen to be TV’s Craig Ferguson?
Sequitur
November 18th, 2009 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

83. bourbon babe, unbuckled
Thank you for your kind words. You have stuck your neck out ~~a few~~ ~~several~~ many times as well.
(I was going to mention something that gets chalk on it instead of “neck” but I really should be a gentleman. After all, you are friends with B. Racoon and I don’t want to get on his bad side).
Roto13
November 18th, 2009 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

It looks like there might be a Dick Tracy villain slightly outside of panel 3 of Apartment 3-G. I can see him trying to steal the professor´s delicious rice pudding.
Sequitur
November 18th, 2009 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

101. troy macgregor
ie. Mary Worth – That may not be a stereo. It could be the portable home version of the AJGLU-3000. It doesn’t work in Mary Worth either.
Josh
November 18th, 2009 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

#80 ignatz — in NYC, where I’ve always assumed Curtis takes place, you can find apartment buildings where low-level civil servants live and their children have to share a bedroom within easy walking distance of luxury condo high-rises where people who can afford $350 bottles of perfume live.

Josh
Bobdog
November 18th, 2009 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

Josh, alligators have no facial hair or mullets, so they may not be susceptible to the powers of the might fists of justice — it’s not a risk Mark should have taken given the imminent peril of the small dog.
Hank
November 18th, 2009 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

RE: Weapon Brown. Wow. That comic strip is a complete piece of crap.
odinthor
November 18th, 2009 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

#102. Sequitur. ‘Tis Eustace Haney, entrepreneur.
Rodeo Clown
November 18th, 2009 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

GT: I wonder if eventually Valerie will somehow figure out that The Ghost isn’t one of the three fans assembled in the bleachers.
Sequitur
November 18th, 2009 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

109. odinthor
Well, what do you know? Ol’ Mr. Haney hisself.
I had breakfast with Eddie Albert many years ago (Really! It had to do with an enviromental project in which he was interested) and he did not mention that at all. Shame on him for not letting me know about that quote.
RJ the Janitor
November 18th, 2009 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

Anybody claiming anything from #63 above? If not I’ll toss the stuff in a sack and give it to Goodwill.
Jamus the Bartender
November 18th, 2009 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

My Cage: Yeah, I can field this one….Maureen has really good mouth muscles and there’s this thing she does with her finger….
Jamus the Bartender
November 18th, 2009 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

MW: Oh yeah, now all your problems are over, Delilah, clear sailin’ from here on in, nothing but candy and butterfiles from here on in.
So…..what did Charley say?
Jamus the Bartender
November 18th, 2009 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

9CL: Howard Chaykin should totally have drawn this week’s strips.
dale
November 18th, 2009 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

Luann

TJ will get the most expensive food that can be found in or shipped to Stoopidville. Brad will be stuck with a dinner tab of over $500.
Better sign up for some extra shifts of washing the fire trucks, Brad.
RJ the Janitor
November 18th, 2009 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

Anyone interested in a beta model of the AJGLU-3000?
Mountain Mama
November 18th, 2009 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

Hey! I’m still here, but woefully behind.

As a clarinet player, I feel compelled to say that we are cool. We shouldn’t need to say anything to anyone. We should lead by example. Because we’re cool.
Sequitur
November 18th, 2009 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

118. Mountain Mama
And Benny Goodman, Artie Shaw and Pete Fountain would totally agree with you. Well, maybe just Pete Fountain. Benny Goodman and Artie Shaw are dead.
ARRRGGG! CLARINETS CAUSE DEATH!!! ARRRGGG!
That’s why I no longer play the clarinet. Only the saxophone, guitar and bass guitar. (And that’s a long “a” not a short “a” in “bass”).
Baka Gaijin
November 18th, 2009 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

#112 RJ the Janitor: Were there any evilscaryclown remains, I’d send Marmaduke over to pick them up. In his stomach!!!!
Baka Gaijin
November 18th, 2009 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

#119 Sequitur: You didn’t have to tell us; we all knew you’re a “long a” but didn’t want to embarrass you.
RJ the Janitor
November 18th, 2009 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

Baka Gaijin – We really don’t need Marmaduke around here anymore. You would not belive the pile of crapola he left here last time. Besides, I don’t seem to see any clown stuff. Oh wait. Here’s the gun that Mr. Pops from Dick Tracy dropped. It still has a bullet in it. Anybody need to shoot a clown or something?
Sequitur
November 18th, 2009 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

Hey RJ! Give me that gun!
Calico
November 18th, 2009 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

#118 & 119 – if you like Supertramp, listen to John Helliwells clarinet featured on a few of their songs, including “Poor Boy.”
Sequitur
November 18th, 2009 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

What th’… Hey, RJ! That’s not a bullet, that’s rolled up condom!
Baka Gaijin
November 18th, 2009 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

#122 RJ: WHAT??? That damn clown is STILL ALIVE? Miss Buxley, take a cable, quick:

To: Elly Foob
Subject: Clowns is good food!

Elly, dear, clowns taste like butter tarts. You don’t even have to shave the sheets or flap your nightgown to enjoy them. Chomp, smack, and slurp your way through them but be sure to spit out the decorative red nose! There’s a tasty one over in Dick Tracyville waiting just for you. You’ll recognize the dejected, depressed expression on his face, just like John’s when you greet him in bed naked.
Mardou Fox
November 18th, 2009 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

Whoa, did Mark Trail punch that gator right in two before he jammed the log in its mouth?!

These must be two of the most glorious panels in all of Mark Trail history!
Esther Blodgett
November 18th, 2009 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

MT: As soon as Mark thoughtfully propped the gator’s mouth open, Bob was able to stuff Sassy right down in there with ease.
Anonymous
November 18th, 2009 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

It’s been a while since I’ve been here.

The FC circus a few days ago (http://joshreads.com/?p=4928#comments) made me think they should keep their eye on little Jeffy who seems to be chearing for the Jihad.
Stroker Ace
November 18th, 2009 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

GT – And I thought my high school was insane. RMMD – Is that trailer rocking?
RJ the Janitor
November 18th, 2009 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

125 Sequitur – Oh, sorry. I didn’t look that close. But it looks like Mr. Pops was shooting blanks. (snork!)
Foolster41
November 18th, 2009 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

(oops anonamous was me)
Écureuil Écumant
November 18th, 2009 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

FC: Another reason Mom and Pop Keane gave their melonheads such short names is because (as pointed out last week by an astute mudge) tombstone carvers charge by the letter.
mr 12 oz can
November 18th, 2009 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

is mark trail JESUS he had to walk on water to reach that gator . also bob is some magacian to appear right there when he was out of sight yesterday. dr pappagoras that waitress outed you yesterday using bobbie as a beard . i guess the rice pudding says how virile you are
Sequitur
November 18th, 2009 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

Baka Gaijin
Here’s a picture you need in your abode.
bats :[
November 18th, 2009 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

135. Sequitur: given the title, I would’ve expected it to be a lot bloodier.
m1ngle
November 18th, 2009 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

I like that Sassy appears to have a bead of sweat jumping off it.
Amateur
November 18th, 2009 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

MT: The angles here are worse than in the MW panels where Adrian knelt on top of her comatose cop. I’ve studied those panels till I’m cross-eyed (and what a waste of eyesight!) and I still don’t get how Mark could have come in from that angle after the first panel. Just what we needed, Mark Trail as drawn by M. C. Escher.
Uncle Lumpy
November 18th, 2009 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

#135 Seq.; #136 bats :[ –

That art site has a link for “ADD CONTENT” — no doubt drawings and paintings begun with the best of intentions, then abandoned at the first distraction.

I was going to click the link to make sure, but something
zerowolf
November 18th, 2009 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

With Mary Worth’s plodding time line, she’s due in the spring of 2109.
anonymous
November 18th, 2009 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

Dear Mudge:

I looked up Rice to Riches (rice pudding emporium in NYC) and I am ready to catch the midnight bus to Manhattan ( that shuttles Chinese restaurant workers to and from NY and here in Upstate NY). Rice pudding is my fatal attraction and that menu looks DELICIOUS!
Joshua
November 18th, 2009 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

#59 Comcis fan: Lynn gave an interview in which she said “Something good is coming. I don’t know what it is.” And a songwriter put those two sentences into a song.
Joshua
November 18th, 2009 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

Let’s try that again. Song allegedly inspired by Lynn Johnston.
Sequitur
November 18th, 2009 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

UNCLE LUMPY! {echo, echo, echo} UNCLE LUMPY! {echo, echo, echo}
Did we just lose Uncle Lumpy?
Uncle Lumpy
November 18th, 2009 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

else caught my attention.
Muffaroo
November 18th, 2009 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

Mibbitmaker @y238 – They had political correctness in the 40s, but they didn’t call it that. For instance, you wouldn’t say “asshole” in most public places. That was one form. If you were, say, an American communist, you wouldn’t say things like, “That Stalin’s a murdering bastard.” In perhaps the 70s, our leftists took to satirizing their ultra-political brethren with the term “Politically Correct,” which has since been taken up by those brave souls who dare to be un-PC, as if it’s some badge of honor. I should note that in many ways, I consider PC to stand for “polite conversation.” It’s impolite to say any of various crude synonyms for women, gays, minority members, and so on. Now we have brave, politically incorrect types (hat tip to Bill Maher, who at least was entertaining about it) who show their iconoclasm, basically by being assholes in public places, so this comment has kind of come full circle. (Footnote: every political stripe nowadays has their version of PC, especially the ones who claim they don’t.)

Calico @9 – Heh. It just reminds me of the good old days when Earth Worm Jim was boasting that he’s the master of marital arts.

odinthor @15 – Oh, wait’ll Fang reads this! ah HAH, hah, hah, hah!
Screaming Badger
November 18th, 2009 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

Garfield today: “I love TUNA!” What red-blooded American male doesn’t?
Poteet
November 18th, 2009 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

# 112 RJ — Waitwaitwait please, I asked for the goat… (# 97)
Poteet
November 18th, 2009 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

MW — Oh gawd. I just realized that we are probably going to see several months of MW maternity outfits. I don’t know if Fashion Police is going to survive this. Even I may not survive this.
Joe Blevins
November 18th, 2009 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

Re 15/146 – These comments sent me scrambling to YouTube to see if that song is available there. It is.

BTW, is it possible that there is such a thing as “heavenly”/tasty/actually good rice pudding, and I’ve just never had it? I like rice. I like pudding. But the combination? Deadly. I have bad memories of almost-flavorless mush with horribly mutated raisins being doled out in the school cafeteria.
CanuckDownSouth
November 18th, 2009 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

#150-Joe Blevins: I had Indian-inspired rice pudding once that was a marvel. The base was denser, almost chewy with sugared rice, and the top became fully puddingesque, and it was baked with coconut shreds and nary a squishy raisin in sight… it was a catered party so I have no idea how it was made or how common such a variant is.

I will not snark on rice pudding. Now, tapioca, that’s another matter entirely.
RJ the Janitor
November 18th, 2009 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

149. Poteet – Sorry I missed that. Here you go. One goat for Sweet Poteet. Good thing it’s a Nanny instead of a Billy.
You know, they say goats will eat about anything but she just turned up her nose at those salmon colored squares. In fact, she made a big effort to get as far away from them as possible.
RJ the Janitor
November 18th, 2009 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

Here’s another chance at the Lost & Found Department:

Purple jumpsuit
Keys to a Volkswagen Microbus
Salmon colored squares
Alligator teeth
One very large button
Do-it-yourself cancer detection kit
~~Stray goat~~
Virginity
Rat’s ass
Film for a digital camera
Plugger’s plug
~~Hole in one~~ (Lost this. It fell through itself)
Josh
November 18th, 2009 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

#150 Joe Blevins — You get rice pudding as a desert in somewhat more upscale restaurants (not snooty, but a step above, say, Chili’s) it’s pretty good. And the stuff at Rice to Riches is really pretty amazing, especially the cheesecake flavor (as Graymalkin noted). I don’t know if any of the flavors have raisins in them, though I think one had cherries.

Josh
Emily K [Riff Chick]
November 18th, 2009 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

When I was in high school, being a “band geek” was a thing of pride. In fact music kids ruled the school – we were the smartest, most well-rounded, involved students in attendance – and many of us were also very athletic and involved with sports.
Alan's Addiction
November 18th, 2009 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

As much as I love to see Mark Trail beating things senseless (with or without his fists), I feel I have to complain about today’s artwork and use of funny angles in the second panel. From the view we’re given, it appears less like Mark is delivering a savage beating to that ‘gator and more like he’s giving it some sort of complex dental procedure. “Open a little wider, Mr. Snappy, we’ve almost got that lateral incisor back in place…”
I have a few questions about today’s “Gil Thorp:” Why does Valerie appear to have only half of her left arm? What happened to her humerus? Was it an accident or a congenital defect?
Will we get to see a Battle Royale between Tim and Cue? It’s the fight nobody wants to see; with one party so obviously terrified at the thought of physical confrontation that he can only clutch himself and scream abuse, and the other party so obviously stoned that he can hardly see what he’s trying to punch.
Oh, I can hear Bobbie Merrill’s whole pathetic, manipulative sob story now. “I loved eating with our cook and maid; they were so much nicer than Mommy and Daddy… sob… and that’s why I need you to renew my prescription, Ari.” Somebody really needs to point Margo at this storyline, some creative verbal abuse is the only thing that could save it at this point.
Edgy DC
November 18th, 2009 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

“We beat Oakwood and Valerie Okumbe served the last five points. It was cool. Everybody in the stands dressed like extras from Logan’s Run You should go some time.”
zerowolf
November 18th, 2009 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

GT: Using only the powers of her mind, rather than her deformed arms, Valerie Okumbe levitates the ball. O-Kum-Be? ROFLMAO!!!!!!!
Sequitur
November 18th, 2009 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

How Mark saved Sassy.
Chromium
November 18th, 2009 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

88, Brian- “Panel one of Mark trail today would make a great fridge magnet. Try to imagine something more hilarious than an out of context image of a gator about to devour a puppy.”

A fridge magnet? I want to blow that thing up to poster size and hang it on my wall.
Buck Ripsnort
November 18th, 2009 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

Am I the first person to notice that Poacher Bob (he’s the blonde guy, right? Or is that Rusty, and the coloring guys screwed up his hair?) is strangling the Devil Dog? Now that Mark’s used the stick on the gator, he’ll have NO CHOICE but to use Fist-O Justice on the poacher, facial hair or no.

I tried to tie this to Valerie Okumbe’s brave triumph against thalidomide poisoning, but looking at GT makes my brain hurt.
Gabacho
November 18th, 2009 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth – I thought Adrian was a dull witted cow but she positively sparkles next to that Delilah. I can’t believe that evil heifer is going to calve.

Apt 3G – How exactly did the Automat reopen for Professor ~~Pappagallos Papajohns Pamplemouse~~ Aristotle? The last one closed in the late 1980’s or so.

Sally Forth – OK, maybe his parents are worse than Laura. I’m willing to stick around to see.
Sequitur
November 18th, 2009 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

Alternatate method of how Mark saved Sassy.
sugarpie
November 18th, 2009 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

15, Odinthor Totally forgotten about the Pruitts except for that damned theme song. Checking the all mighty wikipedia I see that somehow P. Dennis was invovled too. Phyllis Diller, Patrick Dennis, Gypsy Rose Lee…’Little Me’ was the inevitable next step for P.D. I guess.

63, RJ Dibs on the virginity. You didn’t happen to also find a fairly unused liver did you? And chalk, I’ll lay claim to any sticks of chalk that turn up. Thanks.
Esther Blodgett
November 18th, 2009 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

#153 RJ: Is that a rat’s ass (as in, I don’t give a)? Or is it Rat’s ass from Pearls? Because methinks I could put one of those to good use.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
November 18th, 2009 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

163 Sequitur: Wow, the possibilities are almost endless. I’d kind of like to see Squattin’ Spidey shoved in there….

164 sugarpie: Save one piece of chalk for me, please. As for the virginity–you can have it; never saw much use for it anyway.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
November 18th, 2009 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

RJ: Ooh–Did you happen to find a stray henchman? Or, just as good, an unpredictable Cape Buffalo? I’ll even settle for a pretty ticked-off shrike.
sugarpie
November 18th, 2009 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

167 Boubon Babe Unbuckled Re chalk. Dang, now you’ve done ruined your xmas surprise. *sigh* Back to fruitcake…

And as for virginity-I had a ~~good time~~ the best time losing mine so I was sort of thinking I wouldn’t mind doing it all over again.
Toronto
November 18th, 2009 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

I like those samples of the strip “Girl”, but my goodness but that’s a silly name to use in this Age of Google.

I suppose “Agnes” and “Little Dee” were taken.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
November 18th, 2009 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

168 sugarpie: Darn—sorry to screw up the surprise. But fruitcake is a really good idea.
MolyBendum
November 18th, 2009 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

168 sugarpie – Ooo, ‘chalk’ me up for another shot at the virginity losing. First time sucked, but it was a learning experience. I told my son when he was a teenager, “Don’t lose your virginity to a lesbian, their heart’s not really in it”. Words to live by.
sugarpie
November 19th, 2009 at 12:01 am [Reply]

170, Bourbon Babe, Unbuckled. Excellent! Hitting the kitchen this weekend. (I use the recipe from the Charterstone Chat-n-Chew Cookbook.) They’ll be ripe by the 15th.

171, MolyBendum. Truer words were never spoken.
Sequitur
November 19th, 2009 at 12:13 am [Reply]

166. Bourbon Babe, Unbuckled
Glad I checked back in. For you, dear lady, I have provided one final episode of how Mark saved Sassy.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
November 19th, 2009 at 12:16 am [Reply]

173 Sequitur: Hee! That made me laugh out loud–especially the way Mark is apparently wrestling Spidey in there, like trying to fit a big suitcase into the trunk of a small car. (And love the ~~bucky~~ detail!)

Off to bed—that will send me to sleep with sweet dreams indeed—thanks!
Poteet
November 19th, 2009 at 12:21 am [Reply]

# 152 RJ — Thank you! I’m glad she’s a smart nanny.

# 159 Sequitur — Yay! I wish.
Poteet
November 19th, 2009 at 12:36 am [Reply]

# 152 RJ — After seeing Sassy’s frantic attempts to back right into that gator’s jaws, I have a feeling she would have devoured every salmon-colored square you’ve got. But that’s okay, Sassy. Don’t worry. Brains aren’t everything.
Dr. Weird
November 19th, 2009 at 2:15 am [Reply]

106 Josh -

Doesn’t Curtis live in the same building as Michelle though, not just in the same area? That makes the discrepancy in incomes harder to explain. Unless Curtis’s dad is spending all the money on rent in a nice place, leaving no money for anything else.
True Fable
November 19th, 2009 at 2:43 am [Reply]

well, well, well. WHAT have we here…?

Marmadick Is the Big Dog going meta on us? If so, shouldn’t the line be, “blah blah blah, eat us?”

Rex Morgan, MIA YAAAUUGH! Jeez, between that Death’s Head second panel and the wide-eyed cueball in the third panel, my nerves have gotten a shaking today.

9 dickweed lane I sure hope she was a little more inspiring than this, to the boys going to the front. “Take a good look at me, boys, because you’ll probably be dead tomorrow! Buh-Bye!”

Apartment of Doom You…you DO realize he lives near Margo Magee, don’t you lady?

Sam Driver, Chick Magnet What? Don’t tell me he’s going to Solve The Case right here and now, and maybe even coax a confession out of her?! I want some more Action, Jackson! I want some more flying fists and a takedown of lantern-jawed men, and miles and miles of shapely legs! Speaking of fists -

Fist O Justice Theater Holy Mackrel, how is Mark going to get out of this one? Why, the same as always – he’s going to use his FISTS in a GUNFIGHT! And of course he’s going to win. He’s Mark Trail!
Stephanie
November 19th, 2009 at 3:06 am [Reply]

Mary Worth, 11-19-09:
Wow! One of Delilah’s many talents is being able to speak without opening her mouth. Alas, if only we could get her to stop speaking entirely. . .
Farley's Revenge
November 19th, 2009 at 3:14 am [Reply]

MT: There’s an alligator coming so what does Sassy do? Why, a normal dog would haul ass as far away as it could from the big scary thing with sharp teeth…but not Sassy! She backs towards the gator so it can eat her faster!

Then there’s Poacher-wannabe, who snatches up the oddly colored pooch without untying the rope around her neck, thereby breaking Sassy’s neck or strangling her. It also appears that the stress of being garroted by her would-be rescuer causes her to poop a JackElrodball, too.

Must be all the swamp gas the crew is inhaling causes their collective IQs to plummet until even Mark forgets that he’s supposed to use his Fist O’Justice on all perceived miscreants(which includes the gator, who just wanted a snack).
Left of the Pyle
November 19th, 2009 at 3:26 am [Reply]

I recognize that I may be a little late to this party, but why is Sassy backed up so as to get AS CLOSE AS POSSIBLE to the alligator’s mouth. If not for the rope and stake, she would already be down the gullet and tickling his small intestine (gators have intestines, right?) Instead of jamming a log into the alligator’s jaw, Mark should be standing back and saying “watch this Rusty… natural selection works in part by removing weaker members of a species before they reach sexual maturity… On second thought you might just better watch out for your own dumb ass.”
Farley's Revenge
November 19th, 2009 at 3:48 am [Reply]

RJ: Nope, nothing of mine in that list.

“Losing” virginity makes me think one has misplaced something: “Has anyone seen my virginity? I put it on the counter and now I can’t find it anywhere!”
David B
November 19th, 2009 at 3:53 am [Reply]

In all seriousness, i know from gators, and if this were real life Mr. Trail would be a dead man in about three-quarters of a second.

Mark Trail being what it is, though, he’ll end up a hero. The only possible solace would be if the alligator gets confused enough that instead of going after the person wielding the vague annoyance that a stick in its mouth would be, it goes after one of the poachers. Then Mark, being the symbol of all that is good and right in America, would have to save the poacher from the gator. And then, of course, punch him out.

The fact that this possibility makes me giddy does not speak well for my mental health, i think.
True Fable
November 19th, 2009 at 4:29 am [Reply]

#183 David B – I’m pretty sure that Mark Trail should have died many times over, save for the remarkably protective and curative powers of the mighty Fist O Justice. It’s as if Harrison Ford and Sean Connery poured water from the Grail over his knuckles.
Tafadhali
November 19th, 2009 at 4:30 am [Reply]

Sadly, every time I see the dog from Mark Trail, all I can think is that Rusty’s porn star name must be, like, Sassy Woods.
KarMann
November 19th, 2009 at 6:30 am [Reply]

11/19 S4th: Dear lord, Sally worked herself up into such a tizzy over Ted’s parents’ visit, she’s diced her left hand into oblivion!
John C Fremont
November 19th, 2009 at 7:34 am [Reply]

MT – Wait a minute. After being hit once with a stick, the gator just slinks off into the night leaving three tender morsels and a dog-shaped appitizer uneaten? And what about that shadow behind Shotgun McSideburns? Must be one helluva full moon out tonight.

MW – I knew I’d seen Del’s stereo before. It’s a Technics by Panasonic! So where are the matching Thrusters speakers?

This just in; That Fremont guy is really old. More at ten.

RMMD – Tim maaaad! Tim smaaaash!!
Lucky
November 19th, 2009 at 8:05 am [Reply]

#76 – Was that thinly veiled criticism of O&M? Because if it was, I want to hug you.
pleinedepoisson
November 19th, 2009 at 9:15 am [Reply]

Those be some mighty hairy armpits Medusa is sporting in Gil Thorpe today.
TheMagicMel
November 19th, 2009 at 9:20 am [Reply]

I guess there’s something misogynistic and wrong with me; I found today’s 9CL touching.
Doctor Handsome
November 19th, 2009 at 9:34 am [Reply]

Ah, yes: brutally wailing on wetland creatures with a big-ass club. Mark is truly a conservationist in the Teddy Roosevelt mold.
Mardou Fox
November 19th, 2009 at 9:47 am [Reply]

11/18: I am really disappointed with what a wuss the gator turned out to be! I was hoping Mark would have to wrestle it, at least. I didn’t think he would really ever punch it, because Gators are Nature, and Mark Trail wouldn’t punch Nature in the face, would he? But…. wrestling it, and maybe in the process, the baddies would get knocked around by its thrashing tail, and then Mark would punch them senseless after the appropriately defeated gator slunk away. This turned out to the be limpest gator ever! Sassy probably could have taken him down on her own.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
November 19th, 2009 at 10:07 am [Reply]

A3G: Ari looks as though he’s just realizing that Bobbie might be a few grains short of a full rice pudding. What was your first clue, “Dr.” Papagoras? The desperate plea for medication or walking in front of a moving bus?

MT: I love the way Mark is apparently astonished, at that moment, to see Bob there—as if he didn’t see him grab Sassy. It’s a good thing that Mark’s fists are marvels of speedy reaction, because his brain? Not so much.

MW: Good god, is Mary going to start…. caressing herself in her self-congratulatory joy? Because if her hand moves lower and the bow-chicka-bow-bow music cues up, I’m gonna lose my breakfast.
queek
November 19th, 2009 at 10:07 am [Reply]

108: It’s certainly not for everyone, (esp. the hyper-violence) but there is some deep, deep comics geekery in there. He’s slipped in some references and appearances that are truly wonderful.
smacky
November 19th, 2009 at 10:09 am [Reply]

So… does Wally kill his son while drunk driving after the football game, or does he almost kill his son while drunk driving after the football game, thus learning a VALUABLE LIFE LESSON?

This being Winkerbean, I think only dead people teach lessons to those left behind (except the hospital and their negligence about Lisa’s cancer results, of course), so I’m guessing Wally (and/or his son) have bull’s eyes on their backs.
Muffaroo
November 19th, 2009 at 10:25 am [Reply]

9CL – Not bad today. Would have been good for 11/11.

Crank – Ha ha, he’s broke and aphasic.

Dennis – “Relax, Joey. I’ll tell ya when to assume the position.”

Dick – Two shots at the same time is impossible? Unlikely, perhaps, but this is just dumb in a strip where absurd coincidences are the norm.

Family – “What? Is Kittycat a gay fish? Ha ha!”

Gil – Duncan thinks, is he coming on to me? Why does all our team jargon sound so much like make-out talk anyway?

Hi – Just tie the string together, Einstein. You’ve got like three inches of slack there.

Mark – “BOB, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?”
“I’LL ANSWER THAT! WE’RE POACHERS, FOR GOD’S SAKE! JESUS, HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO TIPTOE AROUND THIS? ARE YOU BLIND OR WHAT??”
“Cool! Dick was right! You just annoy them by acting clueless long enough, and they’ll walk right up to you and confess.”

Mary – “Uh, Mary, do you think Lawrence will mind when the baby turns out to have a permanent smirk and a love of Rodgers and Hammerstein shows?”

R=R – Just set the grill up in your living room. It’s not like your brains need oxygen anyway.
RJ the Janitor
November 19th, 2009 at 10:27 am [Reply]

Whoa there ladies. We got plenty of virginity to go around. In fact, I haven’t seen this much virginity since I visited the baby ward at the local hospital. What I’m going to do is place it here in the middle of the room, step back, then you can divide it up as you see fit. I know you guys won’t be interested. You just want to take it from the gal.

Esther Blodgett was asking about the rat’s ass. This is an adjustible rat’s ass with multi function. Just the thing to break the ice at parties. Here Esther, catch.

I didn’t mention chalk because Coach Thorpe picked it up earlier yesterday.

Sorry, burbon babe, unbuckled. No henchmen or Cape Buffalo. Maybe you could hang the alligator teeth around the purple jumpsuit and attach the one very large button. But I’m afraid that would only scare off Baka Gaijin.

Per Sweet Poteet’s suggestion, I’m boxing up the Salmon Colored Squares and sending them to Mark Trail.

Oh, BY THE WAY. Did you see “Heart of the City” today? The truck driver is my brother. He told me recently that he was really getting into the comics. I had no idea that this is what he meant.
RJ the Janitor
November 19th, 2009 at 10:30 am [Reply]

Let’s see. This brings the list to…

Purple jumpsuit
Keys to a Volkswagen Microbus
~~Salmon colored squares~~
Alligator teeth
One very large button
Do-it-yourself cancer detection kit
~~Stray goat~~
~~Virginity~~
~~Rat’s ass~~
Film for a digital camera
Plugger’s plug
~~Hole in one~~
Niall
November 19th, 2009 at 10:42 am [Reply]

A3G: …rice pudding is a meal now? And look at Ari’s face in panel 2 – there goes his plan of role-playing the “Here comes the big bad monster!” out of his pants tonight. Either that or he finally clues in that Bobbie is insane.

Blondie: …I can’t figure it out – it this an actual in-context modern technology joke? Not that it’s funny (it’s already a decade old as a joke), but it’s not wildly inappropriately shoehorned in…

Curtis: So… place your bets, people. With the high amount Curtis possesses of 1) lack of sarcasm detection, 2) blinders towards other people’s feelings, 3) lack of appropriateness in what’s good for him, what will he grow up to be? (Also: oh god, the purple.. Michelle, you’re supposed to have some fashion taste!)

Dennis: I’m not sure it’s “menacing”, but the extremely squicky vibes of an extremely early “experimentation phase” I’m getting are making me queasy.

Dick Tracy: Locher, I hate to break this to you, but it’s not considered an end-of-strip plot twist revelation when you’ve already told the same thing in the previous panel. Are you feeling well? Do you need a break? After this storyline, we might actually enjoy less gore but more linearity. (I get the feeling that if there’s a sudden creative personnel change, mudgeons will gon on for days with “IT HAS HAPPENED!”…)

FC: I’ve tried five times and can’t type anything without feeling dirty (and worse, unfunny). I leave it for the better snarkers (i.e. everyone). But: ick, ew and auuugh, my eyes!

Thorp: ummm.. is there any way to read panel 3 in a purely sports fashion and not in a very Masculine, Strapping Young Men way?

Hagar: …including the lack of humour.

Big Dog: …now they’re just baiting us mudgeons.

Mary Worth: in panel 2, Delilah is looking at us, the readers, pleading: “please don’t let what happened to me happen to you! When someone tries to meddle in your life, do not resist! You will only make it worse!” It’s a hoary ploy, but she’ll need the ancillary revenues from the PSAs for diaper funds.

OBH: …and Ruthie just became a future Scrabble champion.

Rex Morgan: holy crap, if Tim’s face in panel 2 is what I saw in the middle of the night, I’d be scared shitless – that thing is not human!! Give him the old folks, Cue, or be devoured!

Sally Forth: Oh, well done! By doing the exact same thing in panel 3 as in panel 2, Sally went from nice to insane-about-to-snap.

Slylock Fox: one more ammunition to convert the youth of today into either people accepting towards multiethnic relationships, or furries obsessed over interspecies sex scenes artwork. Or both.
Anodean
November 19th, 2009 at 11:12 am [Reply]

Sassy has thought long and hard about her options. She is silently complaisant to her captors’ bondage, knowing that deliverance is at hand. It emerges at the last possible moment. Hearing the boy and seeing MT approach, she frantically lunges toward the alligator. She is pulled up short by the rope, against which she strains, holding it taut as she places her body as close as possible to the shore. To her horror, MT’s malign powers have enabled him to arm and transport himself in front of the tardy alligator even before she can bite through her restraint and embrace sweet freedom in the Circle of Life. She frantically leaps into the poacher’s arms and hopes to escape during the punch-up. The alligator will wait – but has the poacher fallen under the baleful influence of MT? Will he give her up? Dun dun dun…
commodorejohn
November 19th, 2009 at 11:24 am [Reply]

A3G – Oh, if only that presaged the transformation of Apartment 3-G into a survival horror epic…

Curtis – I like the expressions in the last panel; it looks like they’re actors bemusedly acknowledging the stilted and artificial nature of their characters’ relationship. They may play the love-blind fool and the scorning object of affection, but in reality they’re actually good friends who get together and hang out after work pretty often. The occasional unscripted smirk and chuckle is just part of the on-set camaraderie the production crew know them for. Sure, they’ll have to do another take, but it’s no big deal.

DT – …whatever. Can we just wrap this one up, please?

FW – “I despise you. You’re just lucky I project all my longing for my dead wife onto you, or you’d be right out on the curb.”

HOTC – He’s actually an alien in disguise, Men In Black-style.

Luann – Yessirree, this is going to be a happy Thanksgiving. I can only pray that it ends with Brad delivering a Clark Griswold-style rant to his terrified family members.

MT – Okay, I love Mark’s expression in the final panel. “Do I hear facial hair calling?” he thinks. “Time to warm up the ol’ fists…”

MW – Somehow seeing Mary’s breasts delineated by the shading in panel one is profoundly unsettling. I guess I’ve always accepted Mary as some sort of insect or other creature masquerading as a human, but now it looks like we’re meant to view her as an actual human. And that’s just horrifying.

PBS – Um. That conversation certainly took an interesting and easily misinterpretable turn.

RMMD – Yeah. Right. Threaten the guy who you refuse to accept isn’t holding your parents hostage. Because we all know that the primary concern of any extortionist is for the safety of their victims. Good thinking.

SF – I wonder who the lettuce is standing in for?

SM – Wait, how did they not notice the…is covered in…is everyone in this strip retarded?
Sequitur
November 19th, 2009 at 11:33 am [Reply]

DT – “Me! Barb Els!”
I’m trying figure the voice on this one.
I’m torn between Tarzan and Edward G. Robinson.
Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
November 19th, 2009 at 11:44 am [Reply]

No snark, just some observations.

9CL: I try not to keep coming back to 9CL but I admit I’m intrigued by the elder Burber’s tales of WWII. The main question I want answered is what changed this woman from the ingenue performer to the permanently angry and bitter person she becomes later?

Gasoline Alley: Where does one even begin in commenting on Gertie’s story? At least it’s well drawn but this has been one of the most wearying story lines that doesn’t involve Slim that I’ve put up with. (see first part of my Mary Worth comment)

Mary Worth:Someone just please make it stop. Actually, I should be the one who makes it stop. As in stop reading.

Having said that, would Karen Moy just please do a little research on gunshot victims or even just watch House once in awhile? Anything just to get some vaguely believable medical dialogue. I don’t even want to think about the likelihood that Del will have “complications” with her “pregnancy” that will involve “medical professionals”. As dim witted as Del appeared to be the last time we saw her, how we really know she’s even pregnant?

Judge Parker:As an artist myself, I was most gratified to see some uniqueness in Widow DeVito’s facial features as so many comics artist seem to have such a hard time with this. When I did a comic strip for the college paper in the early 1980’s I had to guard against this. I’ve grown rather fond of the way it mixes the 1960’s with modern technology. Obviously Judge Parker takes place in a parallel universe. I’ve grown to cut A3G the same slack with the 1960’s meets cell phones but in the case of Mary Worth, it’s excruciating to see.
Sequitur
November 19th, 2009 at 11:47 am [Reply]

203. Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
ie. 9CL: She started reading Comics Curmudgeon.
Artist formerly known as Ben
November 19th, 2009 at 11:49 am [Reply]

11/19

RMMD: If Cue spends enough time getting high off his own supply, he might not be bluffing. So when Tim points to his mother and Henry, the dealer will just shrug if off as two people come to give him a copy of “The Watchtower” and tell him about the End Times.

DtM: Note to Dennis the Menace “creative” team. If you don’t want people makng up pervy captions for your child characters, try to refrain from drawing Joey in Dennis’ bed with his ass sticking up. You’re welcome.

GA: Oh no, Corky, you horrible, inhuman monster. You’re going to make this storyline drag on for another month, aren’t you? Have you no decency?

S-M: Bigshot is in for an even nastier surprise. You know the sticky stuff he just put his hand in? IT’S NOT WEBBING!!!

Blondie: Oh, so that’s why Dagwood has never been fired. He never gets any of the work for which he’s superficially responsible done, but damned if he can’t rat out his fellow employees.

A3G: Obviously, when Bobbie credits Ari for keeping the monsters away, she’s not speaking in metaphor. She really does see a twenty-foot lizard/ape with compund eyes following her, and is about to tell it, “Get losht! I gotta boyfriend!”
One-eyed Wolfdog
November 19th, 2009 at 11:52 am [Reply]

#188 – No, sorry, I can’t back you up there. I loved (also love and will love) Ozy & Millie. But if there’s to be a new strip, I’d be happy to see a bit more invention in its conception than just ’s/foxes/girl’, and the verbatim reuse of some old jokes for the demo strips struck me as a really questionable and unpromising choice.

Happily, this difference of opinion may spare us the awkardness of any attempted hugging.
gkl
November 19th, 2009 at 11:53 am [Reply]

MT: What about all the kids who read this strip and, looking up to Mark Trail as a role model as they do, decide to emulate his actions? I fully expect a rash of cases of children using large sticks to beat up their “Crocodile Dentist” games. Naturally, this will destroy the games, causing them to be unfit for resale. Garage sale receipts will plummet in the next year, which will have a ripple effect that destroys the economy, creates the second Great Depression, gives rise to totalitarian megastates and eventually the nuclear destruction of the entire planet.

This is why Mark Trail should use fists and fists alone.
CanuckDownSouth
November 19th, 2009 at 11:55 am [Reply]

#203-Patrick-ILLD

Yeah, but MW was the strip which presented a 21st-century woman utterly unaware that males could be infertile with a straight face. They must be just kidding with us and going for the Memorial FOOB “Research” Award for comics. Medical absurdity this profound can’t be accidental … can it?

Today’s 9CL is actually poignant. The mention of Bob Hope elevates it from the sleazy undertones of the last couple of strips and the pacing with a pause in panel 3 works. Yeah, that was worth wading through a year of infantile sexual storylines [/sarc]
Uncle Lumpy
November 19th, 2009 at 11:58 am [Reply]

#203 PILLD –

I think the Burbers are pitched not as angry and bitter (or shallow, manipulative, vengeful, petty, and the other core Burber traits), but as exemplary. Today we witness Edie’s exemplary compassion, after three days basking in her exemplary sexiness. That blow-up with the nurse was just an exhibition of her exemplary standards of etiquette, and the failure of other folks to measure up.
bats :[
November 19th, 2009 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

192. Mardou Fox: the gator probably recognized Mark Trail as Nature Guy, and has retreated until all the punching is over. It will play the role as carrion eater once Mark punches out the other two poachers. The circle of life is complete.
bats :[
November 19th, 2009 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

199. Niall re 3AG: no, rice pudding is a dessert that eats like a meal. (And you’re probably too young (or too Canadian) to remember that tagline…

203. Patrick re 9CL: I kind of like this current storyline. The bitterness? Having Juliette as a daughter. Having Edda as a granddaughter. Having Thorax as a boyfriend.
Take your pick.
Sequitur
November 19th, 2009 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

Hey, Bats :[ There really is a Nature Guy.
Mardou Fox
November 19th, 2009 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

210: Ooh, bats, I like how you think!
Sequitur
November 19th, 2009 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

Ted Forth had to go through one of those full body scan machines at the airport where they can see everything. After he went through they said to him, “Ma’am…
Jonny Quest
November 19th, 2009 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

A3G: Poor Professor Aristotle. He took his hot date to the cafeteria for a romantic dinner of rice pudding, anticipating a nice walk in the moonlight to further get her in the mood to go back to his pad for some bumping and grinding, then she has to trample on his efforts talking about monsters. Ah hell, go for it Ari; take a chance and throw caution to the wind.
odinthor
November 19th, 2009 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

Baldo. — Win.

H&J. — If God really wanted it, He could take it Himself.

Love Is . . . — . . . Getting hammered to get intimate.

Spidey. — Hm. I had never considered j/o as a crime-fighting technique before. No wonder cops always look spent.
commodorejohn
November 19th, 2009 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

#206 One-Eyed Wolfdog – Good Lord. I thought O&M was kind of running off the rails towards the end, but at least it didn’t stoop to recycling itself. That’s pretty sad.
Écureuil Écumant
November 19th, 2009 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

@182 Farley’s Revenge says: “Losing” virginity makes me think one has misplaced something: “Has anyone seen my virginity? I put it on the counter and now I can’t find it anywhere!”

Did you check in the back seat?
Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
November 19th, 2009 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

Spiderman: I’m guessing that Saturday will be the day that Spiderman is somehow clubbed in the back of the head, then passes out with an “UUUNNNHHHHHH” allowing Sandman to escape. It happens once every storyline.
Gabby
November 19th, 2009 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

Marvin It’s sad when you cheer for the dog character.
Baka Gaijin
November 19th, 2009 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

#163 Sequitur: Finally! A good use for a scaryevilclown.
Sequitur
November 19th, 2009 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

221. Baka Gaijin
That was the clown from Dick Tracy. You should be able to go back to reading it soon.
Fashion Police
November 19th, 2009 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

Salmon is the new black among the Santa Royale smart set this season.

Mrs. Worth, ever the discerning style maven, appears to have abandoned lavender for buttercup yellow. We are skeptical.
Niall
November 19th, 2009 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

211. bats :[ : Um, the soup that eats like a meal was a slogan going on strong well into the 70s… even up here. :)
Poteet
November 19th, 2009 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

# 223 Fashion Police — Per my # 149 above, do you, with your expert perspective, have any warnings for us regarding what may lie ahead as Delilah approaches her due date?
Brad the Bold
November 19th, 2009 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

Luann: Frank gets away with telling Nancy she is being a total bitch without saying it out load. I’ve not been this satisfied with Luann since … forever.
Gabby
November 19th, 2009 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

BB Ummm…then I don’t want to know what it is.
Poteet
November 19th, 2009 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

# 209 Uncle Lumpy — Thanks. Now I understand. More than ever, I realize that the big underlying problem is that I am just not worthy of this strip.

GA — Is there any possibility that Gertie will actually be fired, hope hope hope hope?

Dang. That’s what I was afraid of.
queek
November 19th, 2009 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

re: virginity lines. My favorite is “I don’t have my virginity, but I still have the box that it came in.”
Lorem Ipsum
November 19th, 2009 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

Non Sequitur For the win!!!!
bats :[
November 19th, 2009 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

229. queek: priceless! (writing that one down now)
Baka Gaijin
November 19th, 2009 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

#225 Poteet: Mu muus. Big flowery mu muus that Del can hide half a SantaRoyMart’s inventory under. As she waddles out the store with a turkey half-seated in her anus, the newly married and recently healed Det. ~~Printer~~ Hewlett brings the Delilah the Perp down. As two storylines merge into one, the busybody’s target rich environment unfolds before her widening eyes. The energy and destructive power of Mrs. Worth’s meddlegasm dwarfs even the Tunguska Event. *

* Reference: Nostradamus’ Quatrain VI.97
Mibbitmaker
November 19th, 2009 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

A3G: Bobbie’s 6 years old.

DtM: Do you two know a woman named Bobbie…?
bats :[
November 19th, 2009 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

224. Niall: oh, okay.
I was making some eggnog rice pudding this morning (the website (and prices) at Rice to Riches inspired me), and my favorite recipe comes from Jane and Michael Stern’s Square Meals. It’s prefaced with a bit of paraphrased poetry from A.A. Milne:
“What is the matter with Mary Jane?
It’s lovely rice pudding for dinner again!”

I guess, once upon a time, rice pudding was considered a whole meal. Some people (Exhibit A: bats :[ ) still consider it so. Mary Jane is a jerk.
cheech wizard
November 19th, 2009 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

Ok, so why is the Phantom dropping off the kids while he goes to seek vengeance against Chatu? When you’re best friends with an African dictator, revenge isn’t the type of thing you typically have to do for yourself.
One-eyed Wolfdog
November 19th, 2009 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

I certainly consider rice pudding an adequate breakfast. I have it as such fairly often, actually.
Fashion Police
November 19th, 2009 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

#225, Poteet:
If there is ever a time to excuse wearing ugly clothing, pregnancy is it.

We devoutly hope, however, that this is just an interlude and that Mrs. Delilah What’s-her-name will go off and have a healthy baby in peace. Not so much because we wish to be spared her maternity outfits but because she herself would be exceedingly boring if she weren’t such a whiny egomaniac.
Sequitur
November 19th, 2009 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

In ancient Rome, rice pudding was made with goat’s milk and used for medicial purposes.
Pax Pudding!
Sequitur
November 19th, 2009 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

medicinal. I hate using Internet Explorer at work. At home, Mozilla Firefox lets me know if there’s a spelling error (and I still miss ‘em sometimes).
Uncle Lumpy
November 19th, 2009 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

#237 Fashion P –

We devoutly hope, however, that this is just an interlude. . . .

I’ve got candles lit that this is just a wrapup (“see how successfully you have guided my life! If it’s a girl, we’ll name her ‘Mary’!”) and that we’ll spend Sunday by the pool.
Hogenmogen
November 19th, 2009 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

I haven’t posted in weeks. But anyway, I had to come out of hiatus to comment on yesterday’s Rex.

Rex who, right?

All soap strips use methods of dragging out the action and rehashing what’s going on until numbness sets in and rigor morits after several weeks pass. Then the cobwebs. Then comes the stench of rotting bodies just like in my basement. But this is subtle as a 2×4.

“WAIT! Today is Wednesday! You can’t advance the plot until Saturday!”

And a double plot twist, because of today’s revelation that it’s Cue’s weed-seeking pay-phone pal.

I also get a kick from the Daddy’s Home story arc, in which the kid is in panic mode, being forced to use a pay phone. And here they are in RMMD, plentiful, abundant, springing up off of every deserted service road behind a desolate golf course.
Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
November 19th, 2009 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

Re:my 9CL comment: I didn’t expect so many responses. I have a love/hate relationship with 9CL because I work both in the arts and for a library so I read the strip often with mixed feelings. Sometimes the strip is spot on and other times just barking mad.

The Burbers may see themselves as exemplars but I don’t as an outsider. Matriarch Burber until the current storyline struck me as being in a near permanent state of seething anger and bitterness. As for the daughter and granddaughter, plenty has been accurately said about them already.

So to pitch Edie in a different light was intriguing because it was so the opposite of how I normally saw her. Her own daughter seemed surprised by this as well as she apparently only knew an angry and bitter mother. As Edie portrayed herself during the war, I didn’t see her asking people to measure up to her impossible standards but somewhere along the way she did and people failed her endlessly.

Worse part of it is, I’m seriously overthinking it. Ugh.
Artist formerly known as Ben
November 19th, 2009 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

#234 bats:[,
Hey, give Mary Jane a break. Actors have crazy schedules, so she doesn’t have time to make dinner. And Peter can’t cook, so they wind up having pudding cups and Funyuns for dinner. I’m sure it gets old fast.
Sequitur
November 19th, 2009 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth Pregnancy Story: If this happened in Funky Winkerbean, we’d be dealing with a miscarriage and all the ramifications.
Hogenmogen
November 19th, 2009 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

Yeah, coming out of a 3 week coma, I’m delighted to find that nothing has really changed in the world. Becka and Tim are still wandering around looking for old coots. Aristotle is still trying to get in to Bobbie Merrill’s pants – you’d think hitting on a junkie that you’re supplying would be easier. Phantom is still fighting Chatu. But I’m sure something has changed. How did that global recession all work out in the end?

Mark Trail is still in the swamp with Rusty and Sassy. But today it’s all Lio-sans-dialogue. I’m half expecting Lio’s squid to come to the gator’s aid.

Maybe no dialogue is a bonus. MT always reminds me of the beginning of Guns-N-Roses Civil War song that opens up with a quote from Cool Hand Luke. “What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate. Some men ya just can’t reach. So, you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it. Well, he gets it.
Comcis Fan
November 19th, 2009 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

S4th: Luuuuv the wild produce chopping in Sally Forth today! Paired with the faux merriment it works just right.

FW: Poor, poor, Les, crashes the car in front of a cheerleader.

BB: Let’s not speculate on why Sarge’s office smells like wet dog, if his dog isn’t wet.

Jump Start: This cartoonist actually understands how little kids think and talk.
Bootsy
November 19th, 2009 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

Sequiter, @ 202 sez:

DT – “Me! Barb Els!”
I’m trying figure the voice on this one.
I’m torn between Tarzan and Edward G. Robinson.

I’m thinking more Miss Jane from The Beverly Hillbillies.
Bootsy
November 19th, 2009 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

Me @ 247, sorry Sequitur, I spelled your name wrong!
Dr. Weird
November 19th, 2009 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

Luann
I had to re-read it today to see if it was really Mr. DeG sticking it to the Mrs… couldn’t believe it, but it was! On the other hand the “not good enough for my son” notion seems right out of Momma and is based on… what, exactly?

FW

What is happening here? Les is having flashbacks to his first driving experience while Summer is having hers. Do the actions match up? Did Summer get into a fender bender? Why is Les so angry if not? It looks like Summer has been crying too, wiping away tears with her finger.
Mordock999
November 19th, 2009 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

Today’s Luann 11/19/09

Frank — “Flaws. FLAWS? Well HELL, Nancy! I thought that by the very nature of the PERFECTION of your gender, that ALL women didn’t HAVE any Flaws! Haw, haw, haw…,”

Some hours later, a blooded and dazed Frank DeGroot, woke up on his front lawn wondering, DULLY, WHY he was there and WHY he was surrounded by ALL of his personal belongings.

__________________

DEATH to TJ for thinking up this STUPID Thanksgiving Dinner idea in the FIRST PLACE!!!
bats :[
November 19th, 2009 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

240. Uncle Lumpy: I suspect you’re right and this is just a wrap-up (Mary Worth uber alles.), but a girl can dream…
Poteet
November 19th, 2009 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

DT — Per the voice of Barb Els, I’m thinking of the voice of “Me! Ed Gruberman!” from “Boot To The Head.”
P
November 19th, 2009 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

FC: Does Kittycat love fish dicks? Oh yeah, she loves fish dicks.
UncleJeff
November 19th, 2009 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

Love Is: I’m thinking “Cocktails for Two” by Spike Jones & His City Slickers
Danny Lilithborne
November 19th, 2009 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

The fact that Apartment 3-G can only end in bed now fills me with much loathing.
mr 12 oz can
November 19th, 2009 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

dr pappagoras is a fruit hes not gonna bag bobbie . this whole time eating rice pudding hes been on the clock and he presents bobbie the bill next week . i bet for sure lawrence gets caught cheating on deliah with that blond floozy with the glasses who went to his lecture , by the way when does deliah tell mary about that book shes gonna write . also when do dr jeff and adrian give the state the bill for the medical treatment they rendered to detective scott .
Ichi
November 19th, 2009 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

MT: Aw cute puppy!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/15187477@N03/4117694979/
DevilDan
November 19th, 2009 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

Mark reserves his fists for evildoers. The gator is merely following its nature. Of course, facial hair makes people be evil… No, they could choose to shave. The idea of a Unabomber-style Dark-Knight remake of MT has its allure, writing crank letters and sleeping in the library once the whole countryside has been urbanized and the swap has been paved over.
Tafadhali
November 19th, 2009 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

Pluggers: So…according to today’s Pluggers everyone born in the era of pre-eradication smallpox vaccination is a Plugger. Horrifying.
Bud
November 20th, 2009 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

“Time for the volleyball report, Band Geek… Valerie served the last five points, and FU*K YOU!”
Carly
November 20th, 2009 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

I read the last 3G panel as “I used to love beating our kitchen staff.” I think my brain and/or eyes are conspiring to try to make A3G more interesting than it actually is.

As for Mark Trail, the development of Mark + weapons could go in a whole ‘nother, more awesome, way, where Mark slowly morphs into Dick Tracy. He’s halfway there already; he appears to not answer to any kind of justice system and solves his problems with violence. Now he just needs to create unspeakable carnage instead of just knocking some dudes out with his fists.
qmodo
November 20th, 2009 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

Looking at Sassy in the first frame, what’s really remarkable is that her body is shaped like a potato. Not like a dog, a potato. Hm. A chocolate chip potato.
Danny Lilithborne
November 21st, 2009 at 5:27 am [Reply]

I need to honestly wonder if Lynn Johnston seriously just has no talent in anything else that she has to regale us with FBOBW Special Edition.
Readem and Laf
November 21st, 2009 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

GT Volleyball meets karate?1?

Couldn’t tell if she was a cheerleader or on the team at first glance. I went to a relatively small high school when women in sports weren’t widely supported. Attended a basketball game by our team when the visitors brought cheerleaders chanting death for our female players.

Hello, rationality, sanity, civility?!?
theProphet
November 23rd, 2009 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

You gotta love the casual middle finger greeting by the hobbit-sized “Ghost”, who’s apparently asking foureyes about the prowess of a blinded uruk-hai that’s faliling its arms desperately trying to hit a volleyball in mid-air,,,
Stallone on Barbie
November 23rd, 2009 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail raises an interesting ethical problem: is it permissible to kill an alligator in order to save a puppy dog? And what about just whopping it on the head–is that justified?
Constant Lurker
November 23rd, 2009 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

It’s really quite tragic that I feel compelled to make my first ever post a defense of Crock, but deserts are actually quite cold sometimes. Of course since the Sahara is in the Southern hemisphere November is not one of those times.

Please read the posting and discussion policies before posting. You are not required to supply an e-mail address to comment; however, doing so decreases the likelihood of your comment being flagged as spam. E-mail addresses will never be made public or seen by anyone but the site writers, who may use them to communicate with commentors.

Archives:

Comment of the week:

Main navigation:

Main content:

Wednesday is for soaps

267 responses to “Wednesday is for soaps”

Leave a Reply

All the cool kids…

Randomly Selected Post O’ Mystery