It Came From The Hills
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/22/09
Wow, that big-eyed grinning severed teddy bear head in the third panel is certainly one of the more horrifying things I’ve seen today, yet it’s worth noting that, as the first panel shows, it’s only slightly less frightening while dangling detached from a dog’s jaws than it was when firmly attached to its original body. I can’t imagine ever giving such a nightmare-fueling monstrosity to a child, but I suppose that Li’l Tater will see worse things in the cesspool of incest and clan feuds that is Hootin’ Holler, so one might as well accustom the lad to horror from the get-go. And so why not attach the teddy bear head to what I assume is the skin of a real bear in some sort of unsettling hybrid? (The question of whatever became of the real head originally attached to the bearskin rug is best not thought about at any length.)
I do have to admit that the fifth panel, in which Loweezy holds the bear head gingerly by the ears and regards it dubiously while her useless husband cheerfully wanders off to get drunk on corn likker and then shoot at things, is a little masterpiece.
Mary Worth, 11/22/09
Well, it looks like Delilah’s sudden and discombobulating reappearance this week is really just meant to serve as a sort of a coda to Adrian and Scott’s story, the relevance of which I’d have an easier time parsing if I could remember what exactly the point of Delilah’s story was in the first place. Uh, true love triumphs over adversity, given enough time? Yeah, let’s go with that. Mostly I just feel bad that poor Leonard Cohen had to get dragged into this; he, along with Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova and Daniel Johnston, are victims of this strip’s ongoing attempt to destroy the reputation of various hipster indie musicians by associating them with Mary Worth.
Crankshaft and Funky Winkerbean, 11/22/09
A man tries to relax by rediscovering his favorite music, only to receive an unwelcome reminder of his own mortality; another man suffers from recurring stress nightmares, years after being forced to retire from the job that prompted them, and wonders when they’ll finally stop haunting him. A relaxing Sunday afternoon in the Funkyverse, everybody!
Mark Trail, 11/22/09
“The ocean without kelp is like the Earth without trees. That’s why we’re harvesting all the kelp for chemical and industrial purposes. Soon there will be no more kelp, just like there will soon be no more trees!”
Panel from Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/22/09
I thought that those of you who don’t read Rex Morgan except when I mention it here might enjoy this panel, which features Tim throttling the hapless Cue, who soon provided the requested information. See, torture works! Specifically, Cue told Tim that Henry and Pearl had wandered off, which means that we’ll have to endure yet more oldster pursuit across various waterlogged golf courses.
Patrick
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:33 pm
In order to preserve some semblance of the Hippocratic Oath, Adrian has removed her white doctor’s coat as she contemplates the last breaths Scott will ever take before she smothers him with his own pillow.
bats :[
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:36 pm
For reasons quite beyond me, mr. bats :[ was smitten, mesmerized and otherwise gob-smacked by the alien turkeys in today’s FW.
bats :[
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:38 pm
Next week, Mark Trail goes to Florida, where he will discover that a day without orange juice is like a day without sunshine.
(But that a sea otter is loads cuter than Anita Bryant.)
Poteet
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:39 pm
Tater has never been what you’d call a “looker,” but he is particularly hideous in that last panel. I think Loweezy and Snuffy should use it as their Christmas card.
Mac
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:39 pm
Somehow, I’m not surprised that Kent State is apparently the official university of the Funkyverse.
Naked Bunny with a Whip
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:40 pm
MW: Where is Adrian’s right hand, exactly? And Scott’s left? What is going on to give them such facial expressions?
Les of the Jungle Patrol
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:41 pm
I’ve learned from the bright blue ink of previous Marty Worth eyeballs, that she only meddles aryans. Thank god, I’m spared.
Sarah
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:43 pm
I don’t think Adrian is a real doctor.
Dr. Weird
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:45 pm
2 Bats [: -
There are many, many criticisms that can be heaped on Batuik, but he has craftsmanship. The alien turkeys were probably far and away the most striking image on this Sunday’s funny pages. And it wasn’t even a homage/rip/trace of a famous comic.
kkarenb
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:58 pm
I didn’t look closely at Funky Winkerbean until Josh’s posting – those alien turkeys are spectacular. And the spaceships! I have done my share of criticizing Tom Batiuk, but I have to give credit where it is due – today’s panel is wonderful.
commodorejohn
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:00 pm
I’m actually much less unsettled by the bear than by the fact that Tater is Snuffy’s head on Marvin’s body, minus the facial hair and facial expression at least vaguely indicative of some kind of limited cognitive ability. Jeeezus.
Chyron HR
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:00 pm
The Funkydox: The only thing more interminable than strips about the next generation of Funky Winkerbean characters are strips about the prior generation of Funky Winkerbean characters.
Sed
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:01 pm
#5: Band turkeys and cancer’s comin’.
Metz77
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Duck, Mark! Get out of there! The seagulls will get you!
Fisticuffs can’t save you now…
kallista
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:12 pm
Tim is a seether and a sudden-throttler, and I think he’s left other bodies on other rain-soaked golf courses since he doesn’t hesitate or make any tentative, exploratory moves on his victim. With all that experience, he would know not to choke with one hand while attempting to punch with the other. Cue would just scratch Tim’s eyes out or smash his nose or otherwise flail about instinctively with his windpipe half-compressed. No, Tim would strangle first with both hands (making Cue do nothing more than instinctively grab Tim’s hands) and then punch his prey once it is immobilized. Like Moly’s order-of-operations regarding killing and sodomy and cannibalism, there is a method to this. Becka should be leaving now. Very quietly.
Jamus the Bartender
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:12 pm
9CL: Heh, heh, hehehehh….biggus dickus…heh, heh heh heh…
Mibbitmaker
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:17 pm
“Hi. This is Tom Batiuk. You aren’t supposed to enjoy anything. Thank you, and God bless.”
Joe Blevins
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:18 pm
MW: Since Mary Worth is on the short list of Approved Reading Materials, it won’t be long before one of the little melonheads sees that Leonard Cohen quote and is utterly confused by it. “But, Mom! I thought you said my crack was where the sun don’t shine!”
Meanwhle, why is whatsherface with the Prince Valiant hairdo doing the classic “I’m up to something sneaky” pose in the last panel? Is she, in fact, up to something sneaky? Possibly something involving her unconscious fiance?
‘SHAFT: “Hello, wife! I am enjoying something!” “Fuck you, husband. You’re going to wither and die.” Yep, she’s her father’s daughter all right.
(Also “band turkey”? Is that a misprint? Do they mean “bad turkey”? I realize that there is a continuing marching band motif in Funky Winkerbean but I don’t get how the turkeys are involved. Please to explain.)
Joe Blevins
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:19 pm
Re: 18 – me.
D’oh! I should have added the words “in the Keane Compound” after “Approved Reading Materials.” Whoops.
Joe Blevins
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:21 pm
BG&SS: If you have enough material to make a bearskin rug, you have enough to make a teddy bear convincing enough to satisfy Tater.
Mibbitmaker
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:24 pm
RMMD (in its entirety): Finally, I get the chance to let out the ol’ MST3K All-3-Movie-Riffers-At-Once….
“BOOOOOOOOO!!”
….that I’ve been waiting to do since it looked like the cops were going to nab Cue.
MT: All that danger to the sea plant, and all it can do is lie there… kelpless.
(A tip o’ the mibbit hat to Kip Addotta’s “Wet Dream”)
Sed
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:24 pm
#18: As I recall it: Way back when, Westville’s cruel and dictatorial band director used to oversee turkey sales as a band fundraiser.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:27 pm
MW: What might be most disturbing about the final panel is that not only are Scott’s legs gone, but this cut-rate La Quinta General has given him a kiddie-length hospital bed, too. Talk about adding insult to double-amputee injury!
anty a
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:30 pm
FW: Wow, what a shame. If Batuik’s personality was infused with more whimsy than sadism, he could have delighted us all with the ongoing saga of those fantastically drawn space turkeys. *sigh*
Sed
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:30 pm
You’re WRONG, Mr. Cohen – there’s a crack in my rear-end, yet it’s referred to as “the place where the sun don’t shine.” Explain THAT, Clarissa!
JP (not Judge Parker)
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:31 pm
Initially I thought it was also unsettling that apparently the teddy bear’s head is a similar size as a real bear’s head, but then I realized that it’s pretty likely the Hootin’ Holler general store stocks their toy shelves (if not everything else) with those discount irregular-sized factory rejects.
Mibbitmaker
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:35 pm
ReFOOB, by Special Guest Snarker Foghorn Leghorn:
Will you — I say — will you look at that? blatantly gross and disgusting game, Ellie an’ her sanctimonious preaching (snob, that is) lookin’ down her honker at it. Kid ‘n’ dad nauseating, mom all priggish (reminds me of Prissy). This match-up is all Contras vs. Sandinistas — no good guys!
Mibbitmaker
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:39 pm
#24 (anty): The sad thing is, Batiuk used to be infused with whimsy, rather than sadism.
Strangefate
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:43 pm
Damn you, Funkyverse, for giving me something as awesome as a splash page of turkeys invading the earth Mars Attacks! style and then using it to hurt and make me sad and depressed anyways. I should know better by now, I really should, but damn you all the same. Your whimsical art sets me up perfectly for the fall every time…
Écureuil Écumant
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:47 pm
Snuff shoulda tuck ol’ Bullet with ‘im. Mamas kin hunt ennythin’! She done a purty good job dyein’ his pelt to match, too.
Well, ol’ Bullet were a purty fur piece f’m bein’ a puppy anymore. Bile ‘im good, Mama, I reckon he’s kinda chewy.
One-eyed Wolfdog
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:49 pm
I was pretty impressed by FW, actually, but usually when that happens one of the clever posters here points out the pre-existing comic book cover that Batiuk traced. So I’m wary. Also of note is the Twilight Zone-like twist where’s he’s about to notice that he woke up next to something far more terrifying than his invasion of the poultrygeists dream.
Ed Dravecky
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:51 pm
It’s the Funkyverse version of “Point/Counterpoint”:
Him: “I bought new CDs”
Her: “Just in time for your hearing to fail.”
Him: “My tailored slacks are here.”
Her: “Just before you lose all bladder control.”
Him: “Levi Johnston is naked in the new ‘Playgirl’!”
Her: “Too bad your eyes are…wait, what?”
Jamus the Bartender
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:59 pm
The Cat And The Curmudgeon
Cat’s In The Cradle- A Gasoline Alley Interlude
Okay. No doubt you were expecting to read about Cassandra’s adventures on Santa Prisca, Felonia with the rest of the Slylock Fox group. And you will. Really. Others expected me to go on about the babe with the nice legs in today’s Judge Parker.
Anyway.
Sometime before we made the boat trip, I was doing some yardwork in the new house I had just signed my life over to recently, with the help of Lois Flagston and the local bank. There was no turning back now.
I was hauling some tires to the curb to be picked up by the two guys with the cart and mule, while Cassandra was painting the nursery.
” I can do this, dammit, i’m not made of glass, and anyway, the doctor said a little physical activity is good for the mother and the baby.” I wasn’t sure that included painting, but she seemed to be doing fine, she was staying off of ladders,and anyway she ordered me to get those damned tires out of the backyard if I wanted to do something useful.
Whilst I was unloading the excess radials….one of them had a bandaid on it, swear to God….Gertie, Walt Wallet’s nurse….or should I say, former nurse, stopped by for a visit.
I put the tea kettle on, and Cass was right there with a box of Kleenex and some assorted Oreo cookies. Domestic as all hell. Take THAT Mary Worth. Now, I know a lot of folks don’t read Gasoline Alley anymore, so i’ll have to nutshell it.
Gertie wants to go see her boyfriend perform at the theater. Gertie can’t get a sitter for well over 100 year old Walt. Gertie takes Walt to theater. Gertie loses Walt at theater. Corky and Skeezix get all mad and fire Gertie. End of story.
Hey, brief digression, did you know “Skeezix” is slang for a motherless calf? Wikipedia says so.
The Earl Grey was steeping as Gertie told her story. ” ….and I don’t know what to do, Miz Cat…”
Cass shook her head. ” Call me Cassandra, honey….okay, so you lost track of Mister Wallet, you found him, right?”
Gertie nodded. ” Yeah, he…he went to Mister Corky’s diner….but now i’m out of a job…and I don’t know what to do, Mister Bartender….”
I kinda smiled. “My friends call me Jamus…” It still amazes me to no end in this era of President Barack Obama that Gertie feels compelled to call white people Mr. and Mrs. or Miz. My sister said it might be a southern thing. She’d know, she did live in Virginia for a few years…my sister, not Gertie….but I digress.
Cass and I looked at each other for a second. The possibility of a nanny had come up, but what with the re-opening of Goldberg’s , we didn’t have a whole lot of time to discuss it thoroughly.
Now….there are those who might call our judgement into question. I mean, Gertie had just misplaced a 105 year old gentleman during a night at a jazz concert, which, if you think about it, is a tough thing to do, I mean, it’s not like they can run fast or anything. Sure, a hooker might try to get him to spend his social security, but apart from that…
Anyway, anyone who’s been reading this long enough should know by now, that good judgement is not a strong suit of either Cassandra or myself.
So….today we decided to err on the side of compassion. Strangely enough, we didn’t need to talk about it. It took me pointing to the nursery, and then back to Gertie, and looking Cassandra in the eye, but she got it. She smiled and nodded slowly and deliberately. mouthing the word ” yes” as she did so.
“Gertie…..Cass and I really need a nanny. I mean, this is our first child, neither of us know what we’re doing, we’re kind of a mess….”
” Oh, Mr. Bartender…”
Cassandra gently squeezed Gertie’s hand, ” You know my baby’s gonna be a little different, don’t you Gertie? Oliver says part human part cat. But the ultrasounds say the baby’s coming along nicely. But still…..we’re gonna need a lot of help. ”
Gertie laughed, ” Child, everyone’s different somehow…”
I jumped in again. “I don’t know if we can match what Skeezix…Mr. Wallet was paying you…”
Gertie took both our hands. ” It’s gonna be a lovely baby. With you two lovely people as it’s mama and daddy, it’ll be just fine. And i’ll take the job, thank you both.very much….” This last bit was sort of lost as Gertie broke down into tears.
There it was.
We had the beginnings of a family.
See, it’s not always rough sex or Cassandra screaming at me for leaving the seat up.
Fin
Earthgirl
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:02 pm
That bearskin rug Tater’s sitting on looks suspiciously like a line of children’s blankies out now that have stuffed animal heads sewn to them. Observe.
anonymous
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:02 pm
Mark Trail: Kelp? KELP? MT is, officially, out of critters to showcase. Next week: microbes!
bourbon babe, unbuckled
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:07 pm
35 anonymous: Or, perhaps, he’ll provide the hideous details of those mites…. that live in facial hair!
Alfred E. Neuman
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:07 pm
It looks like Cathy Guisewite is now writing Rex Morgan, M.D.
Poteet
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:10 pm
# 33 Jamus …Awww. You’ve sorta kinda maybe made me like Gertie again, and I wasn’t sure that was possible.
I do hope you and Cassandra will explain to her about scalpers, though. Her problems really started to get serious when she didn’t understand the difference between genuine tickets and the kind you buy on the QT from the guy outside the theater who says “Pssst!”
Urban Garlic
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:15 pm
That Leonard Cohen reference reads to me like a desperate call for help from within the bowels of the MW writer’s stable, sort of the comic-strip writer’s equivalent of “I am trapped in a Fortune Cookie factory!”
As their plight worsens, I can’t help but think that they might go further. Burroughs, anyone? “Anything that can be done chemically can be done by other means”…?
Hank
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:16 pm
RE: Dr. Weird, Bats [: -, kkarenb and other fans of the space turkeys. Don’t be too complimentary to Batuik just yet. I’m pretty sure that today’s strip, like many others, was ghosted by legendary comic book artist John Byrne.
Jamus the Bartender
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:20 pm
38. Listen, Gertie’s gonna be changing the diapers of a half kitty baby, there will be no more time for theater.
Also….checked Wikipedia for the current Gasoline Alley cast. And no mention of Gertie or a last name. Now, I know Gasoline Alley’s not a favorite, but does anyone know Gertie’s last name? I know she’s a recent addition to the cast, not much else.
Stev0
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:23 pm
In Funkyverse, Paul really IS dead.
Lanfranc
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:26 pm
RMMD: Okay, if this storyline doesn’t end (assuming it ever ends) with this Timmy character getting convicted of at least some of the dozen different felonies and misdemeanors he’s committed so far, there’s no justice. (Literally.)
Sterling
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:27 pm
Am I the only one disappointed MaMa would pass up such an obvious opportunity to “fix” Snuffy…?
Poteet
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:34 pm
# 41 Jamus — Good point. I am impressed by how fast kittens learn the ropes compared with human babies, however. It seems just possible to me that your baby will be toilet-trained at, say, ten weeks.
commodorejohn
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:37 pm
#35 anonymous – I’ve been following Mark Trail daily for over two years, and still no damn Sunday strip about octopi. Or giant isopods. Or angel sharks. Or any of the other awesomely unsettlling things that live in the ocean. Well, okay, there was the one about squid, but that was two and a half years ago! Come on, Elrod, get it together! Give us something weird and terrifying and wonderful! You know you want to…
queek
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:38 pm
40 beat me to it.
back in college days, I was running a Champions* game, and noticed that all the players had neglected to put any real points into the “attractiveness” stat, so after one session, I told them that some of the experience points for that evenings adventure had to be put into making them all better looking. I told them it was due to Byrne taking over the artwork in their comic book. . . .
* a super-hero role-playing game.
Mars
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:38 pm
Josh: Go back and add today’s FBOFW to the post, please. It’s awful. You may need to be a gamer to fully understand why, though.
Paddy
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:43 pm
Is the otter in the first panel of Mark Trail dead?
Also, what is going on with Snuffy Smith’s facial hair? I’ve always assumed he had a mustache, but closer inspection shows that if anything he actually has the world’s most neatly groomed nosehair.
zerowolf
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:46 pm
I hate to say it, but Funky Winkerbean finally made me laugh for all the right reasons.
zerowolf
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Snuffy and Weezey better get to working on getting Tater and Jughead a couple of sisters, otherwise Hootin’ Holler will have to approve same sex marriage.
Poteet
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:00 pm
# 49 Paddy — Sea otters float on their backs frequently, and while doing so, they sometimes use stones to break open mussels, crabs, etc., and eat the contents. I saw a sea otter floating on its back off the coast of California years ago, and it was a cuteness overload. Sea otters look a lot more appealing floating on their backs than some of us people, I’d say.
http://images.ctv.ca/gallery/photo/sea_otter_20080923/image0.jpg
Dr. Weird
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:00 pm
40 Hank –
I’ve read a lot of Byrne books and off the top of my head it doesn’t look like his work… the mechanical designs are too clean and smooth. Are there any know Byrne strips to compare?
47 queek – Ha! Great story!
Dr. Weird
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:00 pm
*KNOWN Byrne strips.
Poteet
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:01 pm
FW — All right, Batiuk, those space turkeys are good. There, I said it. Grudgingly.
Digger
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:09 pm
I assume the words of Leonard Cohen are meant to be a veiled warning to us all. I believe he means that Mary is “the Light.” So thanks, Leonard. If I see “the Light” approaching I will be sure to close my crack.
Jamus the Bartender
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:12 pm
45. No doubt, Poteet :) Still, it’ll be getting her off of the litter box that’ll be the hardest part. :)
NoahSnark
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:22 pm
Do you suppose that when it’s Harry Dinkle’s time to go he will be escorted into the afterlife by a turkey dressed as Masky McDeath?
Poteet
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:27 pm
# 57 Jamus — Also a good point. I took care of a six-week-old kitten last year, and she liked playing in the litter box as much as using it. I look forward to finding out what your baby will be like.
Red Greenback
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:31 pm
Paddy @49: I concur with what Poteet said about the otter cuteness overload. Secondly, I’m no Jack Elrod, but I think what the Snuffster has going there is called baleen.
CanuckDownSouth
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:33 pm
#42-Stev0 Don’t stop with Paul. In the Funkyverse, Virginia, there is no Santa Claus.
Batiuk lies awake at night, unable to sleep, because somebody, somewhere, is enjoying something.
Lou Shumaker
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:36 pm
As I was scrolling up to reveal the last panel of “Snuffy Smith,” I was expecting to see that Maw had turned Ol’ Bullet into a bearskin rug, with the bear’s head mounted in place, despite the knowledge that a million suns could form, grow, go nova and collapse into black holes before that would ever happen in “Snuffy Smith.”
Clearly, I have been exposed to this site for way too long.
Ken
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:44 pm
I assumed the skin in the final panel of Barney Google and Snuffy Smith belonged to good ol’ Bullet.
Buck Ripsnort
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:46 pm
I’d like to thank Queek and the geeks above for giving me one more reason to dislike John Byrne.
The Ridger
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:49 pm
I want Elly to explain the “moral values” taught by checkers. Or Scrabble, for that matter.
Or wait. No I don’t.
Rob
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:54 pm
I’m just waiting for the Rex Morgan/Mark Trail crossover, where the missing befuddled old folks turn up in the jaws of the alligators that the poachers were trying to… er… poach.
Wait… it gets better… spring Dick Tracy from the circus so he can solemnly look on the scene of two seniors shredded by a gator and somehow pin it on a clown!
Oh, wait… I just started writing a Funky Winkerbean story arc, didn’t I?
Toronto
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:59 pm
I think some more use of Leonard Cohen lyrics would improve most serial strips. I can just imaging Mark Trail punching a guy out while expostulating “Hey! That’s no way to say goodbye!”
Or Luann getting all kerflempt about someone bringing her tea and oranges that came all the way from China.
Andy Capp – like a drunk in a midnight choir.
Of course, Funky’s been riffing on “Famous Blue Raincoat” for years.
TheDiva
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:00 pm
While Delilah exults over her pregnancy, Adrian contemplates how she’s ever going to procreate with a husband who’s missing the lower half of his body.
Carbunicle
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:02 pm
@34 Or Tauntauns
Steve S
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:03 pm
I think what happened in Snuffy Smith is that Loweezy went to one of her comics neighbors and harvested a Plugger. Expect “A Plugger is always in danger of being killed by belligerent hillbillies” tomorrow.
Jamus the Bartender
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:03 pm
59. Me too :)
Carbunicle
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:06 pm
The Batiuk Byrne brane confuses the hell out of me.
bats :[
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:14 pm
42. Stev0: and in the Funkyverse, Funky and Bull slug it out, sumo-style, to determine which one is the Walrus.
46. commodorejohn: *sniff*…memories of my first Mark Trail Sunday strip mashup. (Including a direct steal of the Doritos ‘n’ isopods photo from somewhere…)
bats :[
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:16 pm
62. Lou S. and 63. Ken: I like the way you guys think!
seismic-2
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:21 pm
Crank: The Abby Road depiction in the title panel of today’s strip somehow seems incomplete. This being the Batiukverse, surely the sequel panel would have shown a car that ignored the crosswalk markings and mowed down the pedestrians, leaving them all amputees. Or maybe giving them cancer.
FW: Seeing these turkeys beam down from their spacecrafts somehow reminds me of the turkey drop from WKRP: “As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!” Well, as God is my witness, when I saw this splash panel, I misread it as “Funky Winkerbean / Turdinator II”. Then I immediately knew that was wrong, of course, because it would be redundant.
commodorejohn
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:21 pm
#73 bats :[ – Ah, I still have that one saved away somewhere. Good times…
Married Agnostic Woman
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:42 pm
FW: “Turkinator II: They Came to Give Us CANCER!”
mollificent
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:53 pm
A few late responses:
YY#245 Amateur: (re: Rifftrax Live) Only just found out about it! I’d love to go. I kinda punked out on the Plan 9 from Outer Space one (“But I’m tiiiiiiiired!” *whine*).
YY#253 Mooncattie: Yikes! Watch Dingo make a video mashup of that! (Actually, the combo of Dingo’s mashup skills, Leonard Cohen and Mary Worth could be absolutely riveting. Hmmm…any good ideas for bribery? ;))
DaveyK
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:53 pm
Funky Winkerbean. Kent State T-Shirt. Yeah, that’s just right.
David B
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:59 pm
Has anyone ever in real life held the pose Adrian is in right now? Aside from 80s yearbook photos, i mean.
Poteet
November 23rd, 2009 at 12:07 am
# 80 David B — The last time I held Adrian’s pose, I was looking down at a plate of tollhouse cookies, trying to figure out how many I could take without the plate looking too diminished.
Hey, I didn’t say I was proud of it.
Disingenuous Penguin
November 23rd, 2009 at 12:18 am
In Snuffy Smith, note how “Ol’ Bullet” is conspicuously missing in the last panels. *shifty eyes*
Lou Shumaker
November 23rd, 2009 at 12:26 am
Bats: Considering your mashups helped inspire some of my nightmares, I consider that a compliment.
Alan's Addiction
November 23rd, 2009 at 12:29 am
I like the fact that Snuffy and his wife (or sister; they’re the same person) are more worried about Tater’s feelings than the fact that there are three pounds of indigestible, possibly-toxic teddy bear stuffing sitting in their dog. I can only assume that the dog moved on to “Happier Hunting Grounds” and unintentionally donated his own hide to the abomination of a rug we see in that last panel. Yes, I made a sarcastic joke about hillbillies killing dogs and skinning them. Such an act wouldn’t be the most disturbing thing we’ve seen in Hooten Holler.
I don’t see the logic in Mary Worth’s saying today. “Wisdom leads to love.” Really? I thought that wisdom came from experience, and experience came from bad decisions, to paraphrase Groucho Marx. And the number one cause of divorce is… bad decisions. So, in most cases, I’d think that wisdom actually destroys love, which is why Mary is exceptionally wise and still single and friendless.
Most of us are exceedingly fond of The Beatles, who are the undisputed greatest pop group of all time. Some believe their albums comprise a sort of audio joy that served to energize a generation and create an entirely new genre of music. Tom Batuik, of course, begs to differ. Like life, The Beatles are obviously a tragedy waiting to happen, even forty years after they technically happened.
Speaking of Mr. Batuik’s Scrooge-like desire to destroy all things we love, I’d like to thank him for preventing me from ever sleeping again with that horrific turkey/embryo/astronaut invasion scene in today’s “Funky Winkerbean.” Somewhere, in some dark lab, America’s enemies are feverishly now working on some way to weaponize this image. And when that happens, our nation will be utterly destroyed. Thank you for destroying us, Mr. Batuik. Thank you.
To be fair to Mark Trail, the label “Mark Trail: Tree hugger” is somewhat more manly and rugged than the label “Mark Trail: Kelp lover.” Perhaps there’s something he’s trying to tell us via the use of lengthy, boring discussions on the minutiae of ocean plants. Once I figure out what he’s saying, I’ll let everyone here know (I refuse to believe that a man who communicates primarily with his fists is actually deeply fascinated by kelp, or anything else that can’t be satisfactorily punched).
Speaking of punching, today’s “Rex Morgan” finally delivers the promise of action and violence that’s kept us reading for the past few days. It loses points, however, for ignoring Cue’s obvious piercings when it comes to delivering pain.
Mibbitmaker
November 23rd, 2009 at 12:35 am
#32 (Ed Dravecky):
Batiuk, you ignorant slut!…
Artist formerly known as Ben
November 23rd, 2009 at 12:37 am
It’s too bad that Karen Moy wasn’t on a Leonard Cohen kick when Aldo died. “The Dress Rehearsal Rag” (Now Santa Claus comes forward/That’s a razor in his mitt/And he puts on his dark glasses/And he shows you where to hit) would have been the perfect accompaniment to the Captain’s drunken lurch toward the cliff.
Columbina
November 23rd, 2009 at 12:45 am
Batiuk DID actually go to Kent State. I don’t know if someone’s pointed that out already.
I can’t decide if he’s actually lost his mind or whether he has just decided he wants everyone to suffer at all times for some vindictive personal reason.
Muffaroo
November 23rd, 2009 at 12:48 am
No comic-related comments (or time to try any), but now my show is over and I’ll soon resume my normal schedule of obsessing over the CC! In the meantime, a quick search for my handle reveals some kind thoughts I wish to acknowledge:
Poteet @yy142 – Thanks! The last two shows went swimmingly, and nobody who saw the show had a single criticism or complaint. It was kind of scary. I’ll get a DVD of it tomorrow. Unlike the official photos, it’s likely my face will even be visible in this at some point.
mollificent @yy153 – I’ve been in some good community groups. I think the best troupe of any kind I was in was the CNU program, which I managed to push my way into between 2000 and 2003. Best director (who was also best set designer), and just the most awesome talent pool, several of whom are now in pro theater.
Thanks to this last show, I think I now have a handle on where to find more auditions, and I love this group. I’ll be playing piano for a caroling group in a couple of weeks, so I’ll be seeing a lot of the same faces again. The long dry spell (stretching back to 2003, when parenthood made doing shows impossible) seems to be over.
Gold-Digging Nanny @yy194 – Thanks for the good wishes! I spent the first part of the show — the Prologue — pushing a carousel horse. There’s a “break a leg” joke in there somewhere, but it’s kind of late and I’m not tired enough to think of it.
So to recap: Play’s done! It was bleeding wonderful to be back on stage where I properly belong. I’m going in tomorrow to help strike the set, and see my stage chums another time (including one guy who knows Andrew Leal — small world!).
sluggo
November 23rd, 2009 at 1:04 am
Mark Trail – That basking otter must be very popular with the lady otters.
gnemec
November 23rd, 2009 at 1:05 am
I just assumed that the teddy bear pelt passed through Bullet’s digestive system relatively unharmed. Weezy retrieved it, cleaned it on a washboard, and reattached the head.
Carrie
November 23rd, 2009 at 1:10 am
MW: Holy crap, how big is that house?! It doesn’t appear to have a driveway or garage, either, and the front steps come right down to the road. Unless that road IS the driveway. Yep, Lawrence and Delilah live in a house that’s big enough to have its own private access road, and presumably the chauffeur drops them off at the door then continues half a mile to the first of their six garages.
I think I see where this is going. She’ll invite him down to the boathouse to tell him she is finally pregnant, he’ll shoot her and fake her death by drowning, and the following year his innocent new wife will get all messed up in the head when Mary Worth constantly phones to tell her she’s not nearly as good as the first one.
DavidMac
November 23rd, 2009 at 1:11 am
MARK TRAIL: Yeah, all that industrial waste is killing the kelp . . . let’s move all that polluting industry to someplace like . . . say . . . China. Then we’ll all have plenty of good healthy kelp (to eat) because that’s about all we could afford.
Nekrotzar
November 23rd, 2009 at 1:15 am
Considering that I spent Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday caring for family members who had H1N1, and Thursday, Friday, and Saturday suffering from it myself, I can’t imagine a more appropriate way to wrap up this week than to subject myself to today’s Mary Worth.
Mr. O'Malley
November 23rd, 2009 at 1:16 am
23. bourbon babe, unbuckled. In Santa Royale physicians take the Procrustean Oath.
Poteet
November 23rd, 2009 at 1:27 am
# 91 Carrie — Good lord, I hadn’t noticed the size of that house. It kinda reminds me of the Trapp Family Lodge in Vermont that our family visited on vacation decades ago, but I think the Lodge was smaller.
Poteet
November 23rd, 2009 at 1:31 am
11/23 MW — I see that Scott’s right arm has been tragically and mysteriously foreshortened, not to mention grotesquely. I sure hope the unfortunately-hunchbacked Doctor Good can help.
Dr. Shrinker
November 23rd, 2009 at 1:33 am
So, forgive me if I missed an explanation, but what the *$%& happened to everyone’s favorite mildly-buzzed, somewhat-depressed, handgun-packin’ vet in Funky Winkerbean? Was his daughter stopping by to leave him a message REALLY the conclusion to that week-long buildup (alcohol + isolation + skipping therapy + handgun)??? We immediately morphed into wacky driving lesson hijinx (which also appears to have ended with a whimper) and now it’s back to FW’s annual turkey-themed laff riot.
Uncle Lumpy
November 23rd, 2009 at 1:33 am
FW: Dinkle had it coming.
Nekrotzar
November 23rd, 2009 at 1:38 am
#97 – And while we’re at it, what about the story line where the child is missing and ‘it can’t get any worse’ and the police show up? Are they still just collecting ransom notes and digits, or have they found the severed head yet?
mollificent
November 23rd, 2009 at 1:38 am
#88 Muffaroo: yay! congrats on a good run. Have fun watching the DVD.
An old friend from high school just unearthed the video of our production of “The Boy Friend” (my first soprano-from-hell lead role!). He promises to convert it to DVD and send me a copy forthwith. I’m a little scared, to be honest. ;)
commodorejohn
November 23rd, 2009 at 1:39 am
#87 Columbina – That’s the big question when it comes to the Funkerverse; active malevolence or insane manifestation? I’m not sure the world is ready for the answer.
#97 Dr. Shrinker – Oh, that wasn’t really leading to anything. It’s just another of the periodic reminders that, in Winkerland, death, misery, and madness are going to get you; the only questions are when and how.
Red Greenback
November 23rd, 2009 at 1:42 am
Snuffy: I find that it’s much more entertaing to imagine ‘Weezy and Snuffy singing their lines.
Red Greenback
November 23rd, 2009 at 1:45 am
Entertaining, even. Sheesh!
Godjesus
November 23rd, 2009 at 1:46 am
That’s an otter in panel one of today’s Mark Trail? I thought it was oddly-shaped driftwood, or maybe an idol of totemic power washed up on the beach to curse the poor fool that first disturbs it.
Poteet
November 23rd, 2009 at 1:49 am
11/23
Crankshaft — I thought we just saw Pam declaring that Crank can’t get hurt for the next four months.
FC — I have to admire FC for being ahead of its time. The children in FC, both Keane and non-Keane, were experiencing an epidemic of excess weight long before that epidemic hit children in real life.
MT — “And of course while I tell you the entire story, the perps will be held firmly in place by pure guilt, being as how we don’t have any rope.”
RMMD — I’d like to thank this strip and MT for giving the impression that outdoor writers are violently insane. It’s so nice for them to have that rep, along with the usually-low pay.
S-M — When downed by his villainous opponents and about to be finished off, Spidey always whines that he’s too weak to dodge. Then he dodges anyway. This strip is making me bitter.
Poteet
November 23rd, 2009 at 2:10 am
11/23
GA — “I felt like we we’re family” has got to be a new low.
SLYLOCK — Poor Max. He always looks so cold and expendable.
PLUGGERS — Pluggers pollute the environment,and they do it proudly.
Steve the Pocket
November 23rd, 2009 at 2:28 am
Buckles has officially become the Garfield of dog comics. I’m calling it.
Crankshaft: I think Marvin’s dad has it.
Crock: It’s one thing for comics to “forget” that they’re in the middle ages or that they’re birds, but to “forget” that you live in the middle of the Sahara desert? I think this might be the worst divergence-from-premise ever.
Garfield: See, this is what happens when you don’t wait for Marvin’s dad to be done with the article so you can ask to borrow it.
Edison Lee: If he can’t help, I hear Homer Simpson just got fired again.
Victoria Dunn
November 23rd, 2009 at 2:50 am
I love Leonard Cohen, but I think Mary Worth should have quoted Allen Ginsberg instead. After all, “yacketayakking screaming vomiting whispering facts
and memories and anecdotes and eyeball kicks
and shocks of hospitals and jails and wars,
whole intellects disgorged in total recall for seven days
and nights” perfectly encapsulates this Sunday’s recap.
Poor Thompson
November 23rd, 2009 at 3:07 am
Snuffy Smith: Just don’t let Mark Trail find out about that bearskin rug, or his fists o’ justice may have to disfigure some faces…then again, looking at the inhabitants of Hootin’ Holler, I think it may be too late.
FW: If the space turkeys came to “Gobble us up” in Turkinator II, what exactly did they do to us in Turkinator I…have us selectively bred to produce larger portions of meat?
Mibbitmaker
November 23rd, 2009 at 3:11 am
Moanday:
BBailey: “…for the condoms.”
Cranky: You mean actual comedy (however shopworn) in a Batiuk strip? Well, we can’t have any of THAT.
FW: “Couldn’t we just actually hit some bricks instead? I think the janitor has a sledgehammer we can use…”
MT, p1: “…they grew sideburns.”
MT, p3: OH, NO, NOT AGAIN…!!
Marm: Suddenly, in a lightning-quick move, the dog bit her head clean off.
MW: Oh, God, this stupid non-story won’t end!!
N-S: This should be a great week for Dean Booth.
RMMD: Hey, police — arrest Tim!
SL: NOT Kool-Aide?
S-M: Easy for you to say, spider who doesn’t have his kid held hostage by a sadist (the aforementioned BigDeal)
Frozen
November 23rd, 2009 at 3:12 am
Jeezus, but the Crankshafts are easily becoming the most pathetic family in the strips.
Chronic Masturbatrix
November 23rd, 2009 at 3:43 am
Snuffy: The original line was, “Tater loves how his new bearskin rug feels on his big arse!” I mean, just look at his facial expression and posture. He’s scooting, like Ol’ Bullet.
True Fable
November 23rd, 2009 at 4:41 am
Apartment of Dumb Face it, without Margo chewing the scenery or Tommie to point to and laugh at, there’s really nothing to say about this golddigger or black widow or whatever she’s supposed to be.
C’haft Oh noes! Not the dreaded outdoor grill storyline! Gee, I wonder what’s going to happen. Hmm.
Children of the Circle “I get to beat up the Olds!”
Fuckedup Wallygone I am so everlastingly tired of One Armed Wonder’s pinned-up sleeve. It’s a boldly ingraved invitation to her pity party and totally unnecessary. Come on, chick. Customize your wardrobe or get a prosthetic limb.
Assoline Galley Don’t worry, Gertie. Uncle Walt is proof that NOBODY dies or totally disappears from this strip!
Bradann A Thanksgiving Catfight! This may prove interesting, even if also improbable and stupid.
Fist O Justice Theater Monty Python and the Holy Grail: “He’s going to sing! He’s going to sing!…”
Marmadick Why you silly boo. Don’t look in Lost and Found; use Missing Persons.
Mary Worth, Time Lord Here she goes again, speeding up time and warping the hell out of the glacial pace of serial comic strips.
Kit Walker, The Ghost Who Abandons So much for raising the next generation of Phantom! The twins are going to wind up hating the whole Phantom thing. Well…. guess Kit will have to go find another wife. You know that is what’s going to happen. Kit’s going to go through several storylines romancing a different shapely woman until he finds “the one”, and THEN Diana will show back up, pissed off that he didn’t think to check at the emergency medic tent set up on the other side of the building that exploded. Geez.
Rex Morgan, MIA Tim’s got some anger issues. Not very attractive to Becka, who’s married to an asshole already.
Pantless … Okay, I confess. I’ve got a dirty, dirty mind.
Sister Sestina
November 23rd, 2009 at 4:53 am
“There is crack in everything. That’s how delight gets in” – Whitney Houston (cheap shot I know, but I ain’t made of money.)
Sheila Sternwell
November 23rd, 2009 at 5:19 am
FW & Crankshaft: I think the retired band leader in FW retired because he was suffering from hearing loss, so these 2 Sunday strips are connected by a common theme. Batiuk needs to expand his arsenal of woe, because he’s repeating himself quite a bit lately.
Alfred E. Neuman
November 23rd, 2009 at 5:52 am
#113 True Fable, Re: Phantom— Right on! The Phantom has conducted the most cursory search for a missing wife since Scott Peterson. He probably has Irish McCalla waiting for him over by Victoria Falls.
#114 Sister Sestina— Your post definitely rates a Padumpum!
AshleyZ
November 23rd, 2009 at 7:28 am
The Beatles CDs were already remastered 14 years ago for the Anthology, but tragically, Jeff’s memory is fading even faster than his hearing.
John C Fremont
November 23rd, 2009 at 8:12 am
MT – Mark’s gun sure talks a lot, doesn’t it?
MW – Hey, Scott grew a Keane-sized head in that last panel.
Yanni
November 23rd, 2009 at 8:19 am
Has Les always sported those grandma boobs he’s got in panel three?
One-eyed Wolfdog
November 23rd, 2009 at 8:47 am
Non-sequitur sign:
CAT FUD
⇒ ⇒ ⇒
Oh wait a minute…
John Seavey
November 23rd, 2009 at 8:54 am
Wow. Am I really the only person who understood the joke in “Snuffy Smith”?
He took the stuffing-depleted body of the teddy bear, and instead of obtaining new stuffing and reattaching the head, he simply sewed the head back onto the flattened body and called it a “bearskin rug” for the little tyke. See the stitching on the body? That’s meant to indicate that it is, in fact, cloth.
I’m not saying it’s funny. But the intent is that the rug is fake.
Lorem Ipsum
November 23rd, 2009 at 9:00 am
Beat Hell Bailey Hahaha, Sarge is choking the chicken, hahaha!
mordock999
November 23rd, 2009 at 9:01 am
Today’s Luann — 11/23/09 — (Sorta)
– On the Phone —
Quill — “Hello, Elwood? This is Quill.”
Elwood – “Quill, huh? Muh so-called COM-PETI-TION foah th’ hand ‘o Luann! Well ya too late, boy! I seen ‘er first ‘an axed her to marruh me! So ya’ll might as well go BACK to OZ! Money talks and you gonna WALK!!!”
Quill – Uh, look Elwood, I’m having a really HARD time trying to UNDERSTAND your VERY BAD thick Hillbilly accent.
Elwood – “Ah said Luann’s MINNNNE!”
Quill – “Oh. WRONG! Luann told me she turned you down and that ONLY reason she gives you the time of day is that you might have some money.”
Elwood — “Whut?”
Quill – “Look Elwood, the only reason called you is because this guy Knute says I should honor a Tradition and call you to “rub your face in sh*t”. Luann’s ask me to Thanksgiving Dinner at her brother’s house and I accepted.”
Elwood — “WHAT!?”
Quill — “Hey, I have to run. I gotta pick out a new dinner jacket. Bye!”
(Hangs up)
Elwood — “CLYDDDDDDDDDE! Front and Center!!”
Clyde — “Sir! You’ve DROPPED your Very Bad thick Hillbilly accent!”
Elwood — “You’re DARN right! The time for GAMES is OVER! THIS IS WAR! Call the field and have them warm the jet up. And round up the Neighborhood kids. It Time I TAUGHT everyone a LESSON!”
Clyde — “Very Good, Sir!”
_________________________
DEATH to TJ and Heaven Knows WHO else!!!
Lorem Ipsum
November 23rd, 2009 at 9:08 am
Get Fuzzy: Awww, give peas a chance!
I usually skip over Get fuzzy due to the amount of words Darby likes to throw at his readership…but reading this one this morning…got me to chortle! Oh and Krabby Kitty had it coming.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
November 23rd, 2009 at 9:08 am
MT: I’ve grown so accustomed to reading Mark Trail with random boldface that when there is none, I feel strangely adrift and find myself mentally bolding as I read: “These men used to be my friends, but they have changed.” (And how were they your friends, Mark? Did things change when they stopped being unaware of your presence and started clobbering you over the head with sticks?)
Rusty appears positively beatific in panel 3; he’s about to give the blessing of the Holy Sassy.
MW: Oh. My. God. Is this plot really continuing into this week? Will the torment never end? Why are you doing this to us, Moy & Giella? Why?
(I’m distracting myself from the horror of another week of “When Scott and Adrian Love Each Other Very Much” by picturing panel one more realistically, in which Defective Scott would be wearing a real hospital gown, open in the back and letting us know just where his light gets in.)
SForth: I love you, Ces.
Jonny Quest
November 23rd, 2009 at 9:28 am
A3G: Thinking about Bobbie’s passionate kiss the Professor concludes that rice pudding must be an aphrodisiac, a female viagra. He decides to take Ruby to Warbles tomorrow, hoping she will suggest he tie her up with her hair bows.
One-eyed Wolfdog
November 23rd, 2009 at 9:34 am
Shoe: I was going to make the obvious joke here, but my brain got only as far as the word “premature” and then sensibly refused to go any further, gently advising me that attempts to force the issue would result in the initiation of a self-destruct sequence and the immediate chemical dissolution of my hippocampus.
One-eyed Wolfdog
November 23rd, 2009 at 9:36 am
H&J: Bentley is probably unaware that, to millions of us, this is exactly how his dialogue appears every single day.
One-eyed Wolfdog
November 23rd, 2009 at 9:37 am
GT: One of two teams has won a football game. Hurrah! Or possibly not. Who knows?
Uncle Ritzy Fritz
November 23rd, 2009 at 9:53 am
11/23 H&L: Speaking of dirty minds – What husband has ever asked his wife the question Hi poses in panel 2 with a smile on his face?
Derdrom
November 23rd, 2009 at 9:59 am
Sounds like a certain blog-writin’ flatlander ain’t acquainted with bear face stew.
One-eyed Wolfdog
November 23rd, 2009 at 10:32 am
FC: “Hi, our football’s flat. Can we use your face?”
Peripheral Visionary
November 23rd, 2009 at 10:33 am
Derdrom #131: In South Africa they have a local dish called “smiley”, so called because of the expression on the sheep’s head after having been boiled for some time.
Enjoy your breakfast!
Calico
November 23rd, 2009 at 10:56 am
Anger and strangulation Monday in the comics!
What a nice way to segue into Thanksgiving.
Calico
November 23rd, 2009 at 10:57 am
And profuse apologies to Mr. Leonard Cohen for Sunday’s Mary Worth.
MolyBendum
November 23rd, 2009 at 11:00 am
Boiled sheep brains taste like rice pudding. We always called it “smelly” not “smiley”. Strangely, I’ve never been passionately kissed after taking a girl out for a heaping bowlful of sheep brains. Odd.
tymime
November 23rd, 2009 at 11:08 am
I guess I’m the only one that’s noticed, but Whatsisface in Crankshaft is not actually listening to the new Beatles remasters at all. His hearing must be going already, because those are clearly the 1987 CDs he’s holding!
commodorejohn
November 23rd, 2009 at 11:12 am
A3G – “*sigh* Back to my miserable life?” That’s Tommie’s line!
BrS – “Quick! We’ve got to save the life of the woman who has at one point or another tried to murder every single one of us!”
Crankshaft – Since one of the running themes of this strip is that outdoor grilling = fiery gas explosion, and this has been the case pretty much since the dawn of time, I can only assume that Crankshaft is deliberately trying to kill his family. To which I can only say: bravo, sir. God be with you.
Crock – THEY. LIVE. IN. A. DESERT.
DT – What’s with the basketball?
FB – I have to say, I actually kind of like the art in Fred Basset today. However, when every other object in the scene has visible depth, it might be a good idea to not have the stereo be a two-dimensional cutout propped against the wall.
FW – “I’d do it myself, but, you know. One arm.”
Lockhorns – You know, I’m not the most fashion-conscious person in the world (and by that I mean “sometimes my shirt and pants go fairly well together,”) but…even I understand that tye-dye and other late ’60s fashions have come back, gone away again, and are probably due for another comeback in about a decade or so. Cripes, it’s not like I’ve even been paying attention. Maybe this is a rerun from 1981?
Luann – Who the hell does assigned seating?
MT – Get ready for Mark’s head to explode, when he is confronted with the prospect of morality that is not entirely black and white.
MW – What the…? What’s with the…was Fletcher Hanks the guest-artist for panel two?
MC – Whoa! Camera craziness! It’s nice to see some experimentation with the visual formula here.
NS – I’m not sure we really need another New Yorker, but anyway: NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, SERVICE!
PBS – Ah, don’t worry, Pastis. It probably won’t be a week before your article is declared “non-notable” and deleted to make room for individual Transformers episode summary pages.
Popeye – Remember, kids: asphyxiating someone in their own home is totally justifiable if they were releasing air pollutants! Did Popeye join the ELF or something?
RMMD – Remember, kids: murdering punks is only bad because the police might catch you!
SF – Oh God yes.
SFx – Huh, I was going to say “that big open tub on the deck, which is more or less boat-like.” Anyway: “IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM!” “SO DO YOU!”
Edison Lee – Oh, peachy. Steve Jobs will produce a car that looks like a million bucks, runs like 750 grand, has a user interface that remains mostly the same through every iteration except for a different stupid gimmick, and uses entirely different parts and fuel than any other motor vehicle in the country, but at least he’ll make one hell of a sales pitch.
Artist formerly known as Ben
November 23rd, 2009 at 11:19 am
11/23
FW: Lacking any actual jokes today, I’m hoping that Becky launches into an abusive peptalk along the lines of, “You can’t close the leads, you can’t close shit, you ARE shit, hit the bricks pal!” The thing is that in the Funkyverse, Glengary Glen Ross actually is the height of holiday cheer.
A3G: Of course you can still turn heads. What man could pass up Carol Channing?
MT: He’s going to rehash the entire back-story? They’ll be putting calcium supplements in Sassy’s food by the time he’s done.
MW: In the last panel it looks like Scott’s rehab has left him with the proportions of a baby. A muscular baby with a blond Easter Island head. No wonder the doctor is cringing away.
Luann: TJ just wants the best seat in case Toni and Nancy DeG start making out. Ever the optimist.
S4th: Three guesses which parent Ted takes after. HInt: it’s not his dad.
WofI: The enemy is Irwin the troll from Broom Hilda? The Great Legacy Strip War must be heating up.
RMMD: Okay, Tim is it? Yeah, we’ve found out that Mark Trail is extending his contract, so we’re suspending auditions for now. But you showed us some really good stuff, and we think you’ll go far in the PG-rated vigilante business.
Lockhorns: Tie dye is dead. Now we know what killed it.
Ziggy: Oh God. Someone has already made an obscene photoshop of this one, haven’t they. Tom, you really need to not use words like “blowfish.”
Shoe: Hey lady, sometimes six and a half minutes is all a guy can manage. Take it as a compliment.
OKStan
November 23rd, 2009 at 12:01 pm
#37
My first thought was indeed “Damn, Cathy REALLY let herself go!”
Bloody Bitch
November 23rd, 2009 at 12:26 pm
My mom went to Kent State and she is a perfectly nice, well-rounded woman. Thanks a lot guys….
StoutHearted
November 23rd, 2009 at 12:30 pm
All this baby talk on Mary Worth compared with Adrian’s “hmmm” look in the last panel can only mean that Scott sperm is totally getting harvested and stored away for future use in case the man once again become a victim of the drug war on the gritty streets of Santa Royale.
tekende
November 23rd, 2009 at 2:11 pm
I don’t know why this bothers me, but the remastered Beatles CDs in Crankshaft are depicted in jewel cases, when in reality the CDs were released in gatefold cases designed to mimic the original record covers.
Frankly, this bothers me more than the lack of any sort of humor in the “punch line”.
Joe Blevins
November 23rd, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Re: 137 – tymime
Yikes! You’re right! The plastic jewel case with the folded-over cover booklet should’ve been a dead giveaway, but I didn’t notice it til you pointed it out.
blammers66
November 23rd, 2009 at 2:53 pm
I still dream of a day where some character in the Batuikiverse wins the lottery … and lives long enough to enjoy their winnings, be happy and do something really positive with the money … such as poisoning the water supply of that part of Ohio so that there’s a quick end to it all – no lingering, just “(Gulp) … Hmmm, the water tastes a little strange toda- AHHHGH (thump)”
bats :[
November 23rd, 2009 at 3:06 pm
108. Victoria Dunn: NICE alternative quote! And I love your website — hysterical!
J Neo Marvin
November 23rd, 2009 at 3:57 pm
Are we going to continue having Leonard Cohen quotes on the Mary Worth Sunday strip? If so, I suggest either:
“Won’t you let me see,
Won’t you let me see,
Won’t you let me see your naked body?”
or
“Now if you can manage to get
your trembling fingers to behave,
why don’t you try unwrapping
a stainless steel razor blade?”
Jumper
November 23rd, 2009 at 4:03 pm
God I’m so embarrassed. I didn’t even realize the Funky Winkerbean and Crankshaft REALLY WERE both by the same guy.
I thought the obsession with despair in both strips, the horrible sucking soulless maw of the uncaring universe, was sort of a coincidence. I thought I was being funny when I thought I coined “Crankerbean.”
I seek absolution. I realize that all humor which approaches him is sucked into the black hole that is Batiuk. I will not make the error again.
Charterstoned
November 23rd, 2009 at 6:28 pm
MW – I admit, I don’t know who Leonard Cohen is. I’m thinking he’s a proctologist. Am I close?
Mardou Fox
November 23rd, 2009 at 7:53 pm
I think this would be a nice Cohen lyric for Mary:
“When it all went down
And the pain came through
I get it now
I meddled for you
Don’t ask me how
I know it’s true
I get it now
I meddled for you….”
Mardou Fox
November 23rd, 2009 at 7:56 pm
#149 Charterstoned: He’s a Canadian singer/songwriter/poet.
Mardou Fox
November 23rd, 2009 at 8:01 pm
But I really love the idea of a narration box in MW with a quotation by William S. Burroughs. Like, maybe this one?: “Most of the trouble in this world has been caused by folks who can’t mind their own business, because they have no business of their own to mind, any more than a smallpox virus has.”
Perfect for Mary!!
Carly
November 23rd, 2009 at 11:34 pm
Obviously, having kids is the right choice for a couple that just nearly separated. (Has this come up in MW before? Because I’m having this sense of deja vu as I bitch about it.)
C
November 30th, 2009 at 11:56 am
Hmmm…