The Comics Curmudgeon

303 responses to “Spider-Man newspaper strip finally admits that it sucks”

1. Sequitur
   December 10th, 2009 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

   Mark Trail scenario #16745-A6
   Bob, Rusty and Sassy head for the pancake place…

   “Well, Rusty, a lot of people don’t know about this place. It’s kind of old and a bit run down but they make the most bitchin’ pancakes.”

   “Bitchin’ pancakes?”

   “Er, really good pancakes. You’ll love ‘em.”

   (Bob and Rusty enter the pancake place. Sassy is holding on to Bob’s pant cuff and growling. Bob shakes Sassy off and the dog flies into a nearby garbage can.)

   “Whoa, Bob! Look! It’s Mark!”

   “Yeah. Hey, Mark, whatcha doing here?”

   “Oh, hi there Bob… and Rusty?

   “Mark! You were suppose to get help. I was trapped under a vehicle. Remember? Good thing Uncle Bob came along and got me out of that jam!”

   “Eh, good work, Bob. I’m sorry. I got here and noticed they have bitchin’, uh, really good pancakes! I couldn’t help myself. I totally forgot about you Rusty.”

   “Mark, that’s just irresponsible of you! Here, take this!”

   (Bob punches the pancakes out of Mark)

   “Come on, Rusty. I know a place close to here that serves fuckin’ really good squid!”

   “Squid! Wow, Uncle Bob. I really like squid!”

   “Why that’s great. By the way, how’d you like to be in my new comic strip, Bob Path? I could really use a side kick and I bet you’d fit the bill just fine.”

   (Bob and Rusty leave the pancake place. Mark is in a corner barfing his guts out.)

2. One-eyed Wolfdog
   December 10th, 2009 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

   Dick: “I love respighi! I’ll have mine with meatballs.”

3. bourbon babe, unbuckled
   December 10th, 2009 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

   1 Sequitur: Just like the pelicans, the boldface always returns.

4. Nate
   December 10th, 2009 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

   Okay, so I don’t follow along with Dick Tracy every day, but can someone tell me what Fabio is doing in the first panel? Have comic strip artists, so desperate to attract readership in a struggling newspaper industry, just taken to trying to reel in the Harlequin-reading shut-in set by putting long-haired, feminine-looking heartthrobs in the first panel of their strips? No, couldn’t be. This isn’t drawn well enough – for all I can tell, that’s not Fabio at all – it’s Murphy Brown.

5. hogenmogen
   December 10th, 2009 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

   Sandman: I have mighty hammer fists that can smash through an armored car! If only there was some way to stop this aluminum and fiberglass vacuum!

6. bunivasal
   December 10th, 2009 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

   I never would have figured Dick Tracy to be the type, but those “Finally” earrings are magnificent.

7. Uncle Lumpy
   December 10th, 2009 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

   “Jumble — comic image.”

   Well, sure, but since when does the Chron publish reviews? And what will it do when it gets to Funky Winkerbean?

8. ElkMeadow
   December 10th, 2009 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

   I have no idea which is the worst of the comic strips today Or the week, as these arcs have been going on and on for too long:

   9CWL with Gran’s focus on herself being the center of attention in Britian in WWII, the focus of everyone’s animosity towards those evil, horrible invaders, the Americans AND the not-so-dangerous European foes, the Germans. She is symbolic of all that is pure and precious being horribly hated by Those Who Do Not Know what sacrifices she is making on their behalf. And in doing so, she is suffering so modestly.

   OR

   Luann, with the ugly and crass attacks on the Australians.

9. Spiderman Defense League
   December 10th, 2009 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

   Again Spiderman tries to brutally beat me into changing my nom de ‘mudge. Damn you Stan Lee.

   You might be surprised at how appreciation of goofy stuff like violins and comic books and such perform against more conventional commodities. Of course you have to know how to pick the right goofy thing, and do it before the bubble starts to swell, and then get out before it bursts. Ten years ago I lived on doing this when the fad du jour was “web-dev career”. Nowadays it’s a “house”.

   And I miss the Jumble more than I’m comfortable admitting. I was regularly turning in times under three minutes right before it disappeared.

   Christ–I was timing myself doing the Jumble. Is there a next step before shooting up a mall?

10. Sequitur
    December 10th, 2009 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    The Spectacular Spider-Brick @Y-243 had a warning that bears repeating in this thread.

    Attention, Baka Gaijin! Do not, repeat, DO NOT look at today’s Bizarro! Feral clown alert!

    CAUTION: This link will take you to a site that contains clown-like images

11. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 10th, 2009 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    y304, bourbon babe unbuckled,
    Point very much taken. By me, at least.

12. DaveyK
    December 10th, 2009 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    “I hope I didn’t cut Duncan a break because he’s so good.”

    And with that simple statement, Gil Thorp clinches the coveted Least Introspective Character Award for 2009.

13. JHGRedekop
    December 10th, 2009 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    That Jumble appears to be the bottom of today’s “My Cage” comic: http://www.seattlepi.com/fun/mycage.asp?date=20091210

14. hogenmogen
    December 10th, 2009 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    So Spidey vacuums up the Sandman and has to make sure to get every grain. Even one single piece of Sandman has the ability to reassemble and kick Spidey’s ass, given the way Sandman has demonstrated the ability to expand physical size and mass in direct defiance of all known laws of physics. But whatever, let’s pretend that he’s sufficiently vacuumed – and doesn’t break through the bag, at that – what happens to Sandman’s daughter? She grows up as the adopted daughter of Big Shot?

15. Josh
    December 10th, 2009 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    #13 JHGRedekop — That’s because the Jumble appears right below My Cage on my custom Chron page.

    Josh

16. Sequitur
    December 10th, 2009 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    JUMBLE FANATICS!
    Again, the Dallas Morning News has an interactive version.
    It will automatically time you!

17. Edgy DC
    December 10th, 2009 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    “That’s why hired you, Kaz. Every time I have a pang of conscience that maybe my allegedly student-centered decisions are actually self-interested, you absolve me with an ‘Oh, not you, Gil! You’d never do that! I mean, the whole strip is named for you!’ So here’s to you, Kaz. Have another Dominion lager, my brother.”

18. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    December 10th, 2009 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    Crap. I was going to post some snark here, but I hit the bookmark for Wikipedia to look up how long Crock has been around, and forgot to do so in a new browser tab, so I lost about 20 minutes’ worth of work. Funny stuff, too. Let that be a lesson to you, kids: Don’t read Crock! It’ll ruin your life!!!

19. Reeseman
    December 10th, 2009 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    I thought that was just a fiendishly difficult Jumble. I guess I’ll stop working on it now.

20. bats :[
    December 10th, 2009 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    GA: Rufus better take Kitty to the vet ASAP –she looks so sick and sad!

21. Alan's Addiction
    December 10th, 2009 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    I have to say that, disconcerting as it is, I prefer the “Gil Thorp” method of recapping a storyline where they insert a disorienting, violent-flashback-style review of salient points every couple of weeks. In addition to providing a vital hallucinogenic and surreal feel necessary to the strip that regularly portrays disembodied hands and freaky shading, this gives us a break from the current story, which has way too many moping teenagers.
    Is Spider-Man hugging that vacuum cleaner, or wrestling with it? I’m only asking because I hope it’s the latter; a violently out-of-control vacuum is probably more menacing than the Sandman is. Actually, any villain that can be destroyed with a common household appliance doesn’t seem terribly dangerous or threatening.
    In these confrontational situations, Rex Morgan goes back into his traditional marital role; he’s the stony, silent enforcer while June is the friendly extortionist who does all the talking. Hey, it paid their way through medical school, so it must have some merit in socially awkward situations.
    I think the criminals in today’s “Dick Tracy” might have bitten off a little more than they can chew. Stealing a Stradivarius instrument is a bit like stealing a Monet – the list of people who could afford it are small, and those willing to illegally buy one is even smaller. In reality, the most recent case of a stolen Stradivarius ended with the thieves abandoning it on the side of a highway. I doubt the numb skulls in DT are going to fare any better. On the other hand, at least Dick will be saved from the horrors of “long-hair music” and he’ll get to engage in his favorite past time; gruesome murder. Maybe opera night won’t be so bad, after all.

22. Sequitur
    December 10th, 2009 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    18. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    Good lesson about Crock! But sit back, relax, take a deep breath and repost. We’ll wait.

23. Brick Bradford
    December 10th, 2009 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    Spider-Man: It’s like they just gave up and embraced the stupid. And, it’s an improvement.

    9CL: No, no, no, no. I reiterate. READ A DAMNED HISTORY BOOK! The British may have felt that the Americans were “overpaid, oversexed, and over here”, but I think they preferred us to the Nazis.

    RMMD: My interest has revived now that Rex and June are finally back. Rex looks like Fred McMurray used to in “My Three Sons” when Bub was reading the boys the riot act.

    MT: And the pelicans gather…..to feed.

24. Chipper
    December 10th, 2009 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    Gil’s right hand. Nuff said.

25. Sequitur
    December 10th, 2009 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    24. Chipper
    What th… HOOK ‘EM HORNS!

26. Frippin at the Krotz
    December 10th, 2009 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Maybe we’ll get treated to some “Les Cousins Dangereux” later in the week. With June involved, though, nah, probably not.

27. Dr. Weird
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    9CL

    I’ve read better takes on US-British interactions during WWII in such well-researched books such as “GI Combat – Featuring the Haunted Tank.”

    The Haunted Tank was sent to the UK on a morale tour, but the locals didn’t react well to them until some cheerful British wounded soldiers on the same tour showed up. Then the Brits died while swimming out to push mines against some incoming German landing craft on a raid. The ghost of Jeb Stewart had some comments about what would happen that only became clear with time.

    Too bad there are no sea mines around in 9CL.

28. Chyron HR
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth – Well, that’s all well and good, but HOW WAS ABBY MET? HOW WILBUR GOT BASTERD?

29. spike
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    @ Y294 Sequitur: Y297The Diva has it right. There was a long period of road construction on the street where the restaurants are situated, and patrons went elsewhere. The Chinese couple sold their place to Funky, who then expanded Montoni’s. [About the time that storyline ran there were two major road projects going on in both downtown areas of Cleveland and Akron. Car traffic ceased and several restaurants did in fact close. Being a resident of the Western Reserve, I figured that Batiuk was just reflecting the reality of his area.]

    Mibbitmaker: Happy Bithday Eve! At 47, you’re in your prime! *Ducks*

30. Jacob
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Rusty doesn’t realize that the only things keeping Sassy are his delicious, salty tears of fear.

    Mary Worth: Wilbur finally stops pretending to use the computer and just reads the dialogue boxes like everyone else.

31. wossname
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    After several of us gave ourselves nightmares last night by allowing our brains to imagine Wilbur (even a young Wilbur) involved in some sort of sexual activity, I’d like to raise the following question:

    What guy (in the comics, of course) WOULD you like to see doing it? (Use your imagination as far as what “it” is.)

    I can’t really think of very many appealing candidates. The JP guys? Sam is OK-looking, although he’s a jerk. Maybe Steve the amputee? Rocky? Nah. I’m just coming up blank here.

    I won’t even bother posing the question to those who would rather imagine comic strip ladies in flagrante delicto, since y’all have such riches to choose from.

    (Optional question for extra credit: And what does that say about our society? Discuss.)

    (Related tangent – a week or two ago, somebody made a passing reference to Mike Nomad. Please, please, refresh my memory – I dimly remember, about 1,000 years ago, thinking he was pretty hot. Did he have his own strip? Was he a sidekick?)

32. Sequitur
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    29. spike
    Thanks. I thought I remembered something about the Chinese couple being forced out. It’s probably the best for the Chinese couple. They got to leave Funkyville.

33. Sequitur
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    31. wossname
    I don’t know. But Wilber doing it would be like seeing Gunther do it.

34. Sister Sestina
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    Spider-Man: Wait a minute, aren’t vacuum cleaners the MORTAL ENEMY of spiders?

35. wossname
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    34 Sister Sestina – Around my house, they’re the mortal enemy of cats. But I suppose spiders would feel the same way, and with more justification.

36. Spectrum Rider
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    Milford topped a weak squad from Goshen? This is the middle act of half the gay porn I’ve seen.

37. hogenmogen
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    The Spider-plot-hole reminds me of flying pre-9/11 with a chainsaw as a carry-on-item. Years later, I saw the same chain saw in the glass case that displays banned items from aircraft. The trouble is, my chainsaw was a plug-in model. So I’m thinking that some terrorist would get on board with one of those, ask where the outlet was, make some vague, America-hatin’ threats, praise Allah, yell at the jerks trying to unplug his chainsaw when he wasn’t looking, and then demand that six guys get released from Guantanamo.

    Anyway, I’ve been laughing all day at Spidey’s heroic vacuum-plan. Call it the “Hoover Maneuver”.

38. Bootsy
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    wossname @ 35: Phantom.

39. Spiderman Defense League
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    We’re expecting historical accuracy now from Brooke McEldowney, who a year ago had Amos and Edda’s handfucking filmed from a hot air balloon from 200 years ago?

40. Crankenstank
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    Jumble blues – oh Josh maybe you might have to shell out fifty cents and buy a paper! I get the Jumble in both the daily papers I still get delivered.

    Sadly, I’m pretty sure the Jumble is high on the list of features that will not make the transition when the newsprint edition of newspapers finally croaks…

41. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    #23 Brick Bradford,
    You know, I had forgotten about that “Americans < Nazis" thing from 9CL. It left my consciousness when I smashed my cranium into the wall.

42. Crankenstank
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    PS: You DOWDY BODILY JANGLE ICING, you!

43. kittyloop
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    “After spending half the day looking for her vacuum, Aunt May stared into the middle distance, wondering when the Alzheimer’s would finally take her.”

44. littlestevie
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    MT: what I still can’t figure out is how is Rusty trapped under there in the first place. He is only 4 feet tall max. He is more than half way out, the bumper does not even come to his waist. The rear overhang on a 70’s vintage family truckster is a good two and half feet. I just don’t see how he is caught under the axle. Also if the sand is sooo soft that Mark could not dig Rusty out, You would think if Rusty just wiggled a bit he would be free. Maybe by me giving Rusty the smarts of oh lets say Sassy, I am asking too much.

45. Uncle Lumpy
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    #19 Reeseman –

    I thought that was just a fiendishly difficult Jumble.

    Omigosh, you’re right — and half-solved, too:

    “When the pony got into the loperamide, he went on an –

    IMMOBILE CECUM JAG”

46. Ed Dravecky
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    Whoa, the flash-based interactive version of the Jumble™ at the Dallas Morning News site is more fun than Charterstone pool party.

47. Pozzo
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    In the league my high school played in (Clermont County, Ohio), two of our opponents were Milford and Goshen. Then, when I went to the University of Pittsburgh, our football coach was named Fazio. Dear God, is my reality morphing with Gil Thorp’s? If so, can I be Marty Moon?

48. Nekrotzar
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    Wow, those, uh, things in the first panel of RMMD are really freakish and frightening. It’s like her breasts are having an erection. I mean, can that even happen?

49. Dr. Novakaine
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    Again, I think Rex is viscerally disgusted by the presence of something female in his house that might threaten to tempt him with pleasures of the flesh. Though he might also be deeply contemplating the fact that he just shrunk to about a third the size of his wife.

50. Baka Gaijin
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    #10 Sequitur: AAAAAAhhh!!! Too Late! Not one, not two but two times two clown faces. AAAahhh! Luckily this nadir of comicdom was paired with the greatest Zits evah. Greatest…Evah!

    Spiderman: “Step away from that Hoover Super Suckmaster Delux, Spider Boy!” said Earl from One Big Happy. “You don’t know how to treat her.”

51. gnome de blog
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    31 wossname – Mike Nomad was Steve Roper’s sidekick in “Steve Roper.” He was portrayed as a undereducated blue-collar tough guy with a heart of gold. As time wore on, the stories tended to focus more on him than on Steve. When the strip folded five years ago it was titled “Steve Roper and Mike Nomad.”

    If I remember right, Steve Roper himself was introduced as a second banana early on when the strip ran under another name, but evolved into the lead character. Similarly, over the last decades Roper himself disappeared for long stretches and Nomad was the real lead character.

52. snow miser
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    Spidey: And people laughed at Batman for carrying a dust buster on his utility belt.

53. gnome de blog
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    47 Pozzo –

    Spooky! I thought Gil Thorp was nominally set in Michigan.

    It’s too bad the Milford Mudlarks don’t ever play the Westview Scapegoats.

54. commodorejohn
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    You know, now that Josh has pointed them out, it looks like June’s improbably conical torpedo-tits run in the family.

55. Jason1981
    December 10th, 2009 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    S-M: ” A vacuum cleaner? How’s that gonna beat me? I mean, those are only good for picking up things like dirt or….sand…oh. Aw, crap. ”

    MT: Ya know, I was just thinking…how can he live in a “lost” forrest? I mean, if someone lives there, obviously the forrest was found, so it’s not lost anymore and….

56. wossname
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    51 gnome de blog – Thank you! “Undereducated blue-collar tough guy with a heart of gold” sounds like my kind of comics guy, all right.

57. Sheila Sternwell
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    DT: The Clara Bow-lipped guy in panel 2 didn’t have hair a couple of days ago, but today he has flowing locks in silhouette. Or else this is the be-wigged twin brother of the guy we saw the other day.

    Jumble did show up for me on the 8th, but it’s gone now. Feed problems! But I’m going to have to check out Sequitur’s link, because my brain won’t work unless it’s being timed. I’m actually kind of serious about that.

58. Larry McAwful
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    I can help:

    SGSLO: __ __ O O __
    TOOMT: __ __ O __ O
    TINFE: O __ O __ O
    USHTO: __ __ O __ O

    Today’s missing Jumble puzzle is so fantastic, it’s “__ __ __ . __ __ . __ __ __ __ __.”

    (The capital Os up above represent the bubbles where you’re supposed to fill in the letters you use to complete the line below, in case that’s not clear.)

59. dr.giraud
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: First, poor Cue finds those old trespassers, now Rex and June finally return, only to find a squatter. A man’s crib is NOT his castle in this strip.

    MT: How long before Sassy abandons Rusty, too?

    S-M: Why didn’t they just go for product placement? “A DIRT DEVIL!!”

    Wizard of Id: Hey, that wizard really is a wizard.

60. pccmdoc
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – I think they left a line out.

    ‘I remember you were a little girl.’

    Missing line: But now you’re so perky. So how’d you finance the implants?

    Which would then explain Rex’s smug expression in that he likely both financed and arranged for the procedure, but needs a manly cover expression to hide this from his wife.

61. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    31 wossname: Hmmm… I’m devoting some time and concentration to this question, with paltry results. I mean, there are a few male characters who are do-able, looks-wise, right? Sam, Steve…. But the problem is, then they speak. So if I could have one of them sans dialogue balloons, we might be in business.

    Now, turn me loose on TV boyfriends, and we’d have more to talk about. And if there must be a comics connection, one word: Pastis.

62. Sequitur
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    51. gnome de blog
    Damn, I miss that strip.

63. Larry McAwful
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    Correction: that first clue should be:

    SGSLO: O __ O O __

    Sorry about that!

64. Bryan
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    31, wossname: …Mike Nomad…

    Steve Roper and Mike Nomad! An adventure strip I remember reading religiously back in the 80’s. It kind of faded away.

65. Terry in Silver Spring
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    MT: All the work that Ed Dodd, Jack Davis, Jack Elrod, and Tom Hill have done to promote conservation and an understanding of nature, and today they leave us with the impression that Rusty is about to be eaten alive by pelicans.

66. tb4000
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    Josh, I would honestly be suspicious of any member on this board that DIDN’T spank it to a few of the more comely females of the comics page. Remember your roots, brah.

67. Ringo Beaumont III
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    Great. So now Spider-Man is taking villain-catching lessons from Major Nelson: “Trust me. It held the Blue Djin. It’ll hold Sandman. But don’t let Dr. Bellows see you with the vacuum cleaner. He’ll ask too many questions. Just sayin’.”

68. Debidawg
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    Sequitur – thanks for that link to the interactive Jumble – that rocks! I immediately started doing all the Jumbles and I had to laugh when I got to November 29th and the first word is “Rusty” and the fourth word is “Nature” – hmmmmm……

69. Uncle Ritzy Fritz
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    55: Seems the Trails’ Lost Forest is similar to the Simpsons’ Springfield or Seinfeld’s New York. Whatever you need to “move” a story along – in this case a deserted beach, an abandoned cabin, a jungle, crocodiles, crocodile poachers, what have you, just happens to be there.

70. Digger
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    Where exactly does one go to buy a ridiculously oversized vacuum? Oh, enormousshop.com, of course. I walked into that one, didn’t I?

71. wossname
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    bourbon babe, unbuckled @ 61: Now of course you know (since you’ve been a mainstay of this blog for much longer than I have been posting) that Pastis reads it, maybe even every day, right? Like maybe he’s already read #61? Keep us posted! (so to speak)

72. wossname
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    63 Larry McAwful – Thanks for the correction. I was moronically trying over and over to fit 9 letters into 10 spaces.

73. Black Drazon
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    “A genuine Strad’! You know because of its ability to penetrate the solid glass and metal corner of this vehicle!”

    All I’m saying is that ‘impaled by an interdimensional violin’ is going to be the best Dick Tracy death in a long time.

74. B. Racoon
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    Look, if you will, at today’s Gasoline Alley. Notice the cat called “Boogie Woogie” (not his real name). Between the last time you saw him in the strip until now he was allowed entry into the Racoon Academy. We normally do not let animals other then raccoons into The Academy but we felt sorry for him and decided he showed promise. We were not disappointed. He proved to be quite clever and a quick study. He mastered many of the Racoon arts. Among the arts he mastered was the art of medicine. He is quite the diagnostician. When he says the other cat has the slime flu you can be sure of it. Anyway, the point I was making is that we placed him back in Gasoline Alley in an attempt to put an end this old and degenerated strip. Only time will tell if he will be successful. Realistic speaking we feel it’s a task that does not have a very good chance of being a success. Yet we must try.
    Thank you to all you good people who have been kind to me. You have been checked out and almost all of you are considered good people by the Racoons. (Especially bourbon babe. But that’s another story).
    That is all for now. I’ll try to keep you posted on the progress “Boogie Woogie” is making.
    By the way, Uncle Lumpy has a very fine wine collection.

75. Judas Peckerwood
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    GT: Seriously, the only ’70s swinger prop missing in panel three is a fondue pot.

76. bman
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    I demand escalation, Spider-Man writers! Tomorrow, Sandman whips out a twenty-foot tall roll of newspaper!

77. PeteMoss
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    I get the Jumble the way God intended: In my morning newspaper, delivered right in the puddle on my driveway.

78. Farley's Revenge
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    #71wossname: Could be bourbonbabe, unbuckled has seen Pastis’ picture, too. Rowr

79. Sequitur
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    68. Debidawg
    Glad to help. I do the Jumble from the print newspaper. And yes, it is The Dallas Morning News. Funny though. They have it in the Classified Section. I guess it’s to make us looks at the ads.
    Rusty Nature. Sounds like a great name for a C&W band.

80. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    See, what makes B. Racoon different from the desirable comics males is that when he has something to say, he’s worth listening to.

    71 wossname: Oh, Dingo and I have both put forth our best “proposals,” with no success—yet.

81. doug rogers
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    If the size of modern comic strips weren’t so small, Brock’s tata’s wouldn’t have needed to have been pushed up into her throat to fit in the panel.

82. AndyL
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    Ok, I’ll buy, for the sake of reading the comics that an oversize industrial vacuum cleaner suitable for picking up 300 pounds of sand might, for some hilarious reason, be styled like a normal upright vacuum resized to comical proportions. However, I cannot accept that sandman has just opened up a giant truck, empty except for Spiderman and a single weapon, and somehow he didn’t notice the weapon.

    Also, doesn’t Sandman have super-strength? You know, like the equivalent strength of a grain of sand or something? Why doesn’t he just smash the vacuum while Spidey is looking for an outlet?

83. odinthor
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    #55. Jason1981.

    MT: Ya know, I was just thinking…how can he live in a “lost” forrest? I mean, if someone lives there, obviously the forrest was found, so it’s not lost anymore and….

    “Lost” perhaps refers to the inhabitants’ State of Grace, though it’s hard for me to conceive of which Circle of Hell Mark Trail might eventually be assigned to—perhaps the Seventh, in the “violence against others” area. Mark, those knuckle-fests come with a price, buddy.

84. Little Guy
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    Prune Tracy, er, Dick…: Respighi? He’s outsourcing names to Infantile Pasquale from R=R.

85. doug rogers
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    You can bet that Strad is gonna be used as some kind of body armour/hostage interposed between the villain and Dick’s pistol.

86. Farley's Revenge
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    Lost Forest is about as lost as Gilligan’s Island was uncharted. I suspect LoFo is really a median strip between two sides of a freeway and Mark just doesn’t get out much.

87. Farley's Revenge
    December 10th, 2009 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    About all I know of Respighi is his “Pines of Rome” piece.

88. Aviatrix
    December 10th, 2009 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    Is it just me, or are the pelicans in Mark Trail undergoing a metamorphosis?

89. KarMann
    December 10th, 2009 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    FREE THE JUMBLE NOW!!

90. Steve S
    December 10th, 2009 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    Not having kept up with the story, I assume that for a tin can to be a pivotal plot point, Sandman would have to think it contained something of major value, like sweet corn or refried beans. Those would be high stakes for Spider-Man.

91. Mysterious Shirtless Lawyer
    December 10th, 2009 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    Shouldn’t the title of today’s post be “When Breasts Collide?” I mean, this is a serious match-up between acute versus obtuse. I gotta say, I’m betting on June, all the way.

92. Numbat
    December 10th, 2009 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    50 Baka Gaijin – I agree with you about today’s Zits – classic.

    PBS – Add Bippy for the win. Yay Bippy

    Luann – Must confess, it took me a while to work out what Quill was saying in his “Australian” accent – this only goes to further support Carlo’s ‘undercover cop’ scenerio. [Note to self - make sure to continue writing with a pronounced American accent to avoid confusion because Australian accents are, like, so whacky]

    MW – The tendancy of characters in this strip to develop bright blue eyes when in emotional situations is starting to be of concern. Are they really aliens who start to lose grip of their illusion of humanity when exposed to a highly emotional situation?

93. bats :[
    December 10th, 2009 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    For those who missed today’s Jumble in the “usual sources”…

94. UncleJeff
    December 10th, 2009 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    88 aviatrix: beautiful.
    now, all we need are several flesh-ripping squirrels.

95. Sequitur
    December 10th, 2009 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Mantraps, I tell you. Mantraps.

96. Stij
    December 10th, 2009 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    GT: Not pictured in panel 3: shag carpeting.

97. UncleJeff
    December 10th, 2009 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    94: err, flesh-ripping weasels. sorry, frank.

98. Uncle Lumpy
    December 10th, 2009 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    Dick Tracy is descending into meaningless violins.

99. Sequitur
    December 10th, 2009 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    93. bats :[
    Ha! And again I say HA!
    That is a great answer!
    I won’t say it and spoil it for the rest.

100. queek
     December 10th, 2009 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

     48: judging by my intensive comics research, it seems to be quite common in Japan . . . . .

101. bourbon babe, unbuckled
     December 10th, 2009 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

     16 Sequitur: Okay, I’m going to have to ask you to prepare a letter to the university administration, explaining why I won’t have my grades submitted in a timely manner. You will, of course, need to develop some explanation that does not actually use the word “Jumble” and that will lead to my retaining my employment.

     Thank you.

102. Poteet
     December 10th, 2009 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

     Not only JUMBLE, but I haven’t been able to access STEVE CANYON today. I’m getting the shakes.

103. mr 12 oz can
     December 10th, 2009 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

     just wondering why there would be a store near a deserted road that mark decided to drive on so he could avoid cherry and her hairdo another day and show the retart the ocean. plus dont you put the flat tire under the car not ten feet away in case the jack falls. i also thought the tide came in at night not during the day . i also think since rusty seems to not feel much pain he can work as the human pincushion at a freak show when this adventure is done.

104. Sequitur
     December 10th, 2009 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

     102. Poteet
     Until you find it, try this.

105. Professor Fate
     December 10th, 2009 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

     SM: It’s either a minor shout out to Dick Sprang whose 50’s Batman stories had scads of huge props all of which functioned or Spider man stole Andre the Giant’s custom Vacum cleaner from the nearby Ripley’s Belive it or Not Exhibit or its a prop vacum cleaner designed to just scare Sandman who like cats has a terror of vacum cleaners.
     or the strip just sucks

106. Joshua
     December 10th, 2009 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

     #21 Alan’s Addiction: Actually, it looks as though the crooks in panel 2 of today’s Dick Tracy didn’t steal the Stradivarius themselves. Rather, they bought it for $2 million from the long-haired guy in panel 1, who was the one who stole it.

107. Sequitur
     December 10th, 2009 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

     Dear generic Oregon University/College type of place:

     Please excuse bourbon babe from delivering her pupils’ grades in a timely manner. You see, she was unexpectedly detained by a Racoon in distress. Being the humanitarian she is, she could not let the poor animal alone at his time of need.

     I feel that her dedication to the poor and needy should be an inspiration to the students of your fine institution and she be awarded tenure and an immediate raise. She is a credit to your institution and you are not worthy of her services.

     She is of sound mind and moral character and also a fine writer. She should be allowed to deliver the next commencement address. It would put all past commencement addresses to shame.

     Be assured the grades will be forthcoming and can be processed without due delay.

     Yours truly,
     Sequitur, Esq.

108. KarMann
     December 10th, 2009 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

     @Uncle Lumpy #98: You oughta be strung up for a pun like that.

     And with that, I’ll take my bows.

109. Mustang
     December 10th, 2009 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

     9. Spiderman Defense League — Oh no. That’s not pathetic at all. I time myself on the Jumble, the Crossword, Sudoku and Cryptogram. Then I add up my individual scores for the grand score.

     That’s not so bad, but I fantisize that I will set up tournaments around town where people will come and compete and there will be champions in each category, as well as a grand champion who excels in all 4 categories. That person will be awesome.

110. bourbon babe, unbuckled
     December 10th, 2009 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

     107 Sequitur: Very nice! (Although while I appreciate the relocation, let’s get me back to DC where I belong!) I’m sure that my institution, desirous as it is of higher national standing, will respond a racoon-centric appeal.

     You are a true gentleman!

111. Sequitur
     December 10th, 2009 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

     p.s. It should also be noted that the grades took longer then normal. This was caused by the jumble of information presented to Ms. babe when the grades came in.

112. Miss Othmar
     December 10th, 2009 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

     #33 Sequitur: I have imagined that the Young Wilbur looked much like Gunther does… and who knows, he may whine his way into Luann’s bed yet…. Nerd spawn!

     #59 dr.giraud: I am still convinced that Brook is Cue’s old lady, interrupted in her phone con with the bail bondsman.

113. gnome de blog
     December 10th, 2009 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

     RMMD: June Morgan might just give Margo a run for her money in the icy stare division. If she could get people to look her in the eye, if you know what I mean.

     Dick: Oh, Strad! I thought he said Strat, which makes a much more useful murder weapon but ain’t so rare and expensive.

114. Muffaroo
     December 10th, 2009 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

     Josh – The thing is, Spider-Man used a vacuum cleaner to defeat Sandman the first bleeding time they met, unless it was the second.

     By introducing a powerful vacuum cleaner, the creators of the newspaper strip have succeeded in making the strip suck exactly twice as much, in about the same way as one would double the humor quotient of Fred Basset by bringing in a crutch.

     Spider-Brick @18 – Incidents like that are why I write my messages in TextEdit and copy/paste them over to the Curmudgeon. I feel guilty having robbed the world of so much brilliance.

115. bourbon babe, unbuckled
     December 10th, 2009 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

     111 Sequitur: Hee—very Sneaky! (And unfortunately, “jumble” actually does describe many of the arguments I’m plowing through….)

116. Sequitur
     December 10th, 2009 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

     113. gnome de blog
     When you said “Strat” it remined me of this.

117. bats :[
     December 10th, 2009 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

     104. Sequitur: that’s pretty keen stuff! Even if an Ohio AFB looks a lot like Edwards AFB (or more likely, Mojave Airport) in California :)

118. littlestevie
     December 10th, 2009 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

     Has Barreto started inking RMMD? First June, then Becca and now Brook.

119. Sequitur
     December 10th, 2009 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

     115. bb,u
     Would that be “Sneaky” like a certain Mark Trail character?

120. Sequitur
     December 10th, 2009 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

     117. bats :[
     Now that you mention it, you’re right.
     I almost had a civilian job at Edwards. I decided the isolation wasn’t worth it.

121. bourbon babe, unbuckled
     December 10th, 2009 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

     119 Sequitur: Only one I’m familiar with! (Ah, Sneaky: If only you could come riding to the rescue on the back of Andy, quickly reassembling the jack with your nimble paws, as Andy rips the sleeping bags into tourniquet-ready strips!)

122. Écureuil Écumant
     December 10th, 2009 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

     DT: The perps are holding that violin for ransom to pay Cue’s bail bond. They’ll probably succeed — after all, this is Dick Tracy.

123. LUJBEM FEJF
     December 10th, 2009 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

     40 Crankenstank- Thanks for encouraging Josh to buy a newspaper, but….What are you talking about? Not making the transition? As (16) Sequitur states, the Jumble is online. And has been available online for a couple of years now. Go to Jumble.com and you see eight different Jumble online games that are all over the internet at newspaper and gaming sites. Go to the App Store and there are 4 different Jumble games. I’ve created Jumble Nintendo DS games…I’m workin’ my ass off here to keep this baby going well after the last newspaper tree has fallen. Now what I don’t understand is why is it that the only way to contact the Houston Chronicle is by mail or phone, and not email? That’s ridiculous.

124. Jamus The Bartender
     December 10th, 2009 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

     9CL: Okay. This storyline had better shape up, and fast. I suggest Gram Burber being put into a ladies POW camp, with a web of escape tunnels so the prisoners can blow up bridges, and cut holes in the barbed wire, much to the chagrin of Sgt. Schultz.

125. Jamus The Bartender
     December 10th, 2009 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

     37. Are you a hardware salesman or somesuch, hogen? That’s the only reason I can think of to bring a chainsaw on a plane, carryon or otherwise.

126. Nekrotzar
     December 10th, 2009 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

     Interestingly, June’s cousin is not named ‘Brooke’ but ‘Brook.’ And the german word for Brook is ‘Bach.’ And Respighi orchestrated one of Bach’s fugues (BWV 582 for those scoring at home). Will Dick Tracy be called in to rid the Morgan household of squatters?

127. Écureuil Écumant
     December 10th, 2009 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

     @126 Nekrotzar: No, Richard Bach will be called upon to fly overhead and shit on Dick Tracy’s coiffure.

128. bats :[
     December 10th, 2009 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

     Sequitur, I sent the Steve Canyon link to some of my rocket scientist friends (no, really!) in Mohave, CA, and they verify this as a lot of majorly cool archival stock footage of Edwards AFB and March Joint Air Reserve Base.
     They didn’t even address the Steve Canyon part yet!

129. Joe, Upper-Evergreen Guy
     December 10th, 2009 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

     God Damn I love this website!

130. The Ridger
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

     @103 mr 12 oz can: Actually the tide comes in twice a day at a different time every day, which is why they publish tide tables and such. I’m just surprised that Mark knows when the tide is coming in on this day, it can’t be something he actually needs to know, like how to jack up a car so a 6 pound dog doesn’t knock it over…

131. Écureuil Écumant
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

     FC: Yeah, home-cooked dinner is a nice change from the freeze-dried survival rations. But I notice Gramps is scanning the paper for a Taco Bell coupon. After all, he’s had 50 years of Gram’s radish soup.

     And @128 bats :[ as an amateur rocketeer myself, I’d fork over a still-steaming kidney to get to work up at Mojave with folks like Scaled Composites, XCOR and Unreasonable Rockets. I go up there every year to launch hybrids at the FAR launchsite and it’s one of the year’s highlights.

132. bourbon babe, unbuckled
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

     130 The Ridger: Mark was probably studying up for his recent “Kelp & Squid” lecture series. If Rusty can hang on until the upcoming “Icky Little Things that Live in Unstable Sand” talk, he might make it out alive.

133. Marion Delgado
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

     Normally I avoid Baldo, but today’s has a moral. If one of the two of Gracie and Baldo knows what it takes to be president, that one is not Gracie.

134. wossname
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

     78 Farley’s Revenge and 80 bourbon babe: Hmm, I better find a picture of Pastis and check this out. When he draws himself in the strip, he looks dorky, but maybe that’s just false modesty?

     88 Aviatrix: I love it! And not only are the pelicans undergoing a metamorphosis, so is the car, since this supposedly stranded vehicle has moved 90 degrees in each of the first three panels. (Yeah yeah, I know if I would study that html stuff, I could figure out how to make a proper “degrees” sign – but I’m hoping the new blog/site will be so user-friendly I will never have to learn html.)

     93 bats :[ – brilliant as usual. AND I know the answer!

     107 Sequitur – great excuse letter for bourbon babe, but I detect a Freudian slip: “She could not LET the poor animal alone” — ??? Didn’t you mean she could not LEAVE him alone? Or maybe you said exactly what you mean! Anyway, I think she’s assured of tenure now.

135. Aviatrix
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

     wossname #31 – I’ve gone through my comics pages slowly with careful consideration as to the merits of each male portrayed therein. It would be interesting from a scientific perspective to see if Mark Trail brought the same naïve perseverance and random boldness to all his activities, but I expect he would wander off to the old store in the middle. I might be able to stomach a cradle-robbing quickie with Jeff from Doonesbury, but if he were out of town, I’d turn to the stickmen at xkcd before anyone else.

136. Alfred E. Neuman
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

     #98 Uncle Lumpy said: “Dick Tracy is descending into meaningless violins.”
     and
     #108 KarMann replied: “You oughta be strung up for a pun like that.
     And with that, I’ll take my bows.”

     Guys, I have to tell you that I fret about this kind of humor.

137. sloopygoop
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

     Know Jumble, Know Peace

138. Aviatrix
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

     wossname #134 – I was about to hold Elrod and the pelivultures blameless for the car’s rotation, as the reversal in the second frame is an artifact of the advanced image manipulation tools (a.k.a. MS-Paint) used to assemble the montage. But the car in the third frame is at 90° to the arriving car, and I didn’t touch that angle. Perhaps Sassy spun it around as well as knocking it off the jack.

139. Écureuil Écumant
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

     @132 bourbon babe, unbuckled: Mark is acutely aware of that ol’ lunar ebb and flow. He gained a sudden interest the day he noticed the tide was receding so quickly that it was stranding large fish, so he went out to pick some up — seeing as how he can never snag any with a pancake ball on a hook.

     After that, he’d rather stick his hand in a pelican’s crop than turn his back on the ocean.

140. Sequitur
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

     #136 Alfred E. Neuman
     #98 Uncle Lumpy
     #108 KarMann

     Come on now. That’s just a bunch of f-hole.

141. bourbon babe, unbuckled
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

     134 wossname: Mmmmm….. Pastis.

142. Baka Gaijin
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

     Lio, you have a call on Line 3 from Prince Harry.

143. Temporarily Anonymous
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

     OK, going incognito for such an embarrassing confession, but yeah, @Aviatrix #135, a few weeks ago, I had a dream in which I and those around me were XKCD stick figures. It’s quite strange to look down at yourself and see pencil lines, or at your friend’s head and see a white disk. But worst of all, it developed into an XKCD wet dream. Awkward….

144. bourbon babe, unbuckled
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

     139 Écureuil Écumant: Mmmmmm….. pancake balls……

145. gnome de blog
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

     124 Jamus – I hope she gets a Diana Walker haircut, too.

146. Écureuil Écumant
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

     @144 bourbon babe, unbuckled: Yeah, those are the ones. Except in LoFo they don’t have any cardamom, so Mark uses filé instead. Also, his are smaller.

147. Amateur
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

     SM: A vacuum cleaner? When did Spider-Man turn into Bugs Bunny?

148. Mardou Fox
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

     I’m amused that Mark seems more concerned with the rising tide than with Rusty’s crushed legs. Seems he’s really in this for the long haul. I can just see him up at the old store, purchasing a newspaper and finding the tide charts…. “Hmm! Oh, good! 12 hours until the tide comes in? No rush then…. Hmm, I’ll bet Rusty would like some pancakes while he waits for the tide to come in! Perhaps the storekeeper’s wife will make a batch! Too bad there isn’t some way I can talk to Rusty from a distance… some sort of remote communications device. Guess I should have brought Andy along, he would have taken a message to the lad for me….”

149. wossname
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

     135 Aviatrix: I know – the cupboard is bare! I wouldn’t really consider Mark Trail, just because he’s too, um, Boy Scouty. I used to (years ago) like Mark in Doonesbury, and was kind of disappointed, but not too surprised, when he turned out to be gay. There were some appealing guys long ago (Mike Nomad, Steve Canyon) but where are they now? If you put a gun to my head and told me I had to do somebody in the current comics, I guess I’d have to choose one of the JP guys. Or Cue!

     And yet the guys, virtually every day, get to ogle Abbey Spencer, June Gale, Blondie, Aunt Fritzi, Moonbeam McSwine (oh wait, she’s historic) etc. etc. etc. Why is this???

150. L. Ron Hoover
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

     S-M: … is a latent appliance fetishist, it appears to me …

151. gnome de blog
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

     113 Sequitur Well, actually I was thinking of this.

152. Sequitur
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

     burbon babe
     And Pastis.

153. Mardou Fox
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

     Comics men: Well, it is kind of fun to think of what you would have to do to coax Mark out of his UPS uniform, but ultimately, I’m sure squids are more passionate. Cue? I dunno, I really want the guy to go free, but the eyebrow piercing…. ewww…. turnoff. How about that mysterious Canadian chauffeur who was kicking butt in Paris a year or so ago in, I think, Judge Parker?? He seemed like a manly sort!

154. Poteet
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

     # 104 Sequitur — Thanks for your thoughtfulness. I sure hope the problem with the link clears up by tomorrow.

155. Sequitur
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

     151. gnome de blog
     That was my 2nd thought. Fender made (and makes) some great guitars. My bass is a Fender Jazz Fretless. Love it.

156. bourbon babe, unbuckled
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

     149 wossname: Because men draw them? (Which I guess then gives us an idea of Elrod’s ideal of a hot babe.)

     152 Sequitur: Hee! I remember that picture—love it. Guess I’m just hot for dorks.

157. bourbon babe, unbuckled
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

     153 Mardou Fox: Cedric? Yeah: I’d do him. Back of that limo—no problem.

     Good call!

158. Alfred E. Neuman
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

     #140 Sequitur, Uncle Lumpy, KarMann— While we’re at it, why should violins be limited to Dick Tracy? I’d love to see Abbey Spencer or June Morgan fiddle with their G-strings, and exhibit all of their abilities between the pegbox and the tailpiece.

159. gnome de blog
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

     149 Wossname – Nobobdy said life was fair.

     Think of all the role models women have: Brenda Starr, Abbey Spencer, Liz the Police Chief, Dr. Adrian Cory, Blondie, Modesty Blaise (RIP), Margo! etc. etc. We got Ted Forth, Blanthony, and Cedric the Canadian Butler.. I ain’t complainin’ though.

160. Écureuil Écumant
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

     SF: Ted lets rip a double-barreled snark today. Make the most of it, Ted. It’s the last time you’re likely to get release in 2009.

161. Mardou Fox
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

     157 BB u’b'ed: Yeah, Cedric. That’s the guy. Definitely! He was takin’ care of business in more ways than one!!

162. wossname
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

     156 bourbon babe: OK, so Elrod’s ideal of a hot babe is — Cherry? Mrs. Bob? Sassy? The pelicans?

163. Mardou Fox
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

     #159 Good point. Women have much better role models in the comics. Modesty Blaise, how I miss her!

164. Aviatrix
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

     Temporarily Anonymous @143, I’m glad you recognize the prudence of not making that admission in your usual persona. You do realize that I was trying to use xkcd as an example of a cast with absolutely zero fuckability, right? You’re ALL alone there, not coming out in solidarity. (Please don’t let anyone see me talking to this person about this).

165. Fashion Police
     December 10th, 2009 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

     Cedric does dress decently.

166. Écureuil Écumant
     December 10th, 2009 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

     Ladies, my vote would have to go to 2nd. Officer Guido Tomas. He’s so, well, suave

     Although Aldo is still my sentimental favorite, but that’s because I can’t help liking doggedly earnest drunks.

167. wossname
     December 10th, 2009 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

     166 Écureuil Écumant – Aldo had a certain bedraggled charm, but the main problem now is, he’s DEAD!

168. Sequitur
     December 10th, 2009 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

     156. bb,u
     HOT FOR
     DORKS
     I guess that would make a great T-shirt. And the “O” in “hot” and “for” would be in just the right place.

169. Écureuil Écumant
     December 10th, 2009 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

     @167 wossname: But … but you say that as if you don’t see it as an improvement!

170. bourbon babe, unbuckled
     December 10th, 2009 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

     162 wossname: Jackelrod’s dream chick:
     -Blue, tightly curled hair, “styled” in a lacquered form last scene in a 1950s B movie.
     -Collared shirt tucked into mom-jean khaki pants.
     -Unnaturally huge, dilated eyes (i.e., possible meth addict)
     -Some suggestion of breasts and hips, but not too much, because that would be, you know, icky.
     -Bearing pancakes.

     166 Écureuil Écumant: I draw the line at drunks who are doggedly earnest. What a turn off!

     As for the female role models: While the sentiment is appreciated (and the inclusion of Adrian “Quick, Where’s My Face?” Cory is not), we’re not talkin’ “role models” here. We’re talking about with whom we’d like to do the nasty—and so “role” really only applies to “playing,” and “model” to “resume that includes work as.”

171. bourbon babe, unbuckled
     December 10th, 2009 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

     170 me: (I don’t usually correct, but…) last seen.

     Idjit. (Now I’ll read my post again and find more. Will not correct…..)

172. Aviatrix
     December 10th, 2009 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

     bourbon babe, unbuckled @170 – You forget that for a heterosexual male “role model” doesn’t designate virtue or heroism, just the likelihood of getting laid. What gnome de blog is saying is that even the men here can see there is not a snowball’s chance in hell of any of the comics pages men getting enough to be worth emulating.

     Hmm, but a thought. Dagwood isn’t bringing in a lot of money and doesn’t have much going for him in the looks department. The kids are grown and Blondie is still a knockout, plus financially independent, but despite all the sandwiches and the sleepwalking, she hasn’t kicked him out of her bed. I’m just saying ladies, she might know something we don’t know.

173. Temporarily Anonymous
     December 10th, 2009 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

     Aviatrix @164, regarding my being “all alone out there,” my only reply is: Rule 34.

174. Nature
     December 10th, 2009 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

     I really abhor what’s happening in Spider-Man.

175. bourbon babe, unbuckled
     December 10th, 2009 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

     174 Nature: Hee! I’m glad I wasn’t sipping soup when I read that! (Turkey soup + keyboard = not good.)

176. Mardou Fox
     December 10th, 2009 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

     172: It’s pretty scary to contemplate, but I had the same thought about ol’ Dagwood. Something is keeping Blondie happy!

177. Mardou Fox
     December 10th, 2009 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

     174 Nature: you made my day with that!

178. KarMann
     December 10th, 2009 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

     @Nature #174: Mother? Is that you?

179. queek
     December 10th, 2009 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

     149: your answer

180. Aviatrix
     December 10th, 2009 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

     Mardou Fox @176 : All the energy he gets from the food he’s eating has to be expended somewhere and we know he naps all day at work.

181. Mardou Fox
     December 10th, 2009 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

     180 Aviatrix: Oh yeah. It sheds a whole new light on his lazy ways at work. He’s exhausted after pleasuring Blondie for hours each night (in between the last sandwich of the evening and the big “SNX” appearing above his head.)

182. Anonymous
     December 10th, 2009 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

     #132 bourbon babe:
     Right now, one of those “Icky Little Things that Live in Unstable Sand” happens to be Rusty.

183. Perky Bird
     December 10th, 2009 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

     Ooops, #182 was me!

184. Mardou Fox
     December 10th, 2009 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

     Hey, maybe when Mark gets to the store, he’ll have time to read the comics. He’ll read Spiderman, purchase a vacuum from the shopkeeper, and head back to the beach to vacuum Rusty free!

     “Oops, sorry, young friend, I must go back to the store for a very long extension cord now! I think I’ll be back before that tide comes in.”

185. Écureuil Écumant
     December 10th, 2009 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

     Zits: Was good today, but could have been even better had it gone in just a slightly different direction.

186. Ukulele Ike
     December 10th, 2009 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

     bourbonbabe @ 141: Mmmmmmmm…..Pastis…..

     http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.frenchentree.com/france-provence-food-drink/images/Pastis_smallest.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.frenchentree.com/france-provence-food-drink/DisplayArticle.asp%3FID%3D17273&usg=__sB-1R9k6HNW1h0YFAsTUsXbymI0=&h=266&w=200&sz=33&hl=en&start=5&sig2=JB7zWjF4T-Z4YrB-FdEL7Q&itbs=1&tbnid=HvYBfXf30wK6fM:&tbnh=113&tbnw=85&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dpastis%26gbv%3D2%26hl%3Den&ei=Y64hS6jTDoyV8AaS79yFAQ

187. bourbon babe, unbuckled
     December 10th, 2009 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

     186 Ukelele Ike: That works, too.

188. zerowolf
     December 10th, 2009 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

     Zits: Jeremy’s tongue must be ten inches long. Sara is one luck girl!

189. ChattyGenes
     December 10th, 2009 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

     That Spiderman vacuum cleaner somehow reminds me of the time Poteet and I (and Mr.CG and my daughters) were back in Michigan visiting my parents. My mom had a brand-new vacuum with a “power-surge” button on it.

     Now that may be the norm on upright vacuum cleaners in the U.S. these days(?), but we’d never seen it before. When you hit the power-surge button, the vacuum would begin dragging you around the room like nobody’s business. Somehow it struck us all as hilarious, and we nearly laughed ourselves silly taking turns vacuuming with it. Ah, memories:-)

190. Saluki
     December 10th, 2009 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

     Well it looks like the Chron is dumping the Jumble. I mean c’mon, do they have to spell it out for you?

191. sugarpie
     December 10th, 2009 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

     123, Lujbem Fejf Try this to reach the Chronicle via email (there are several department email addresses).

     http://www.chron.com/news/help/

     Or just try help@chron.com

     I just a few weeks ago let go of my Chronicle subscription (boring story) so I dont know if The Jumble is still in the print version. However, the above link to the online version made my toes curl! In a good way.

192. Brick Bradford
     December 10th, 2009 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

     #104 Sequitor: I had a Steve Canyon helmet and it was one of the best toys I ever had. EVER. It was cool even after the goggles and oxygen mask broke off.

193. Mardou Fox
     December 10th, 2009 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

     #189 I’m pretty sure Spidey’s dancing with a Kirby vaccum there. Long ago, a Kirby salesman came to the apartment of the future Mr. Mardou Fox. It was a summer day, and future Mr. Fox had had a few beers. He and the Kirby guy had a great old time throwing dirt on the rug and vacuuming it up. Future Mr. Fox ended up buying a HUGE reconditioned old Kirby with hideous burnt-orange bag cover and a metal base that was as big and heavy as a Warner Brothers anvil. It would break your toe if you happened to stub your toe on it. It felt like you were pushing an anvil around when you used it, too–no power surge there! Mr. Fox was very attached to that behemoth. I think it was like an old drinking buddy to him. Despite the fact it hardly picked up any dirt any more (I really don’t think it would have been a match for the Sandman), he insisted we hang onto it for years, only replacing it when a broken arm and a cast made it truly impossible to use.

     Sorry, long-winded and o.t. I’ve got some work I should be finishing up, so naturally I had to tell vacuum stories.

194. Humanoid Female
     December 10th, 2009 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

     #92 Numbat, re characters’ eyes changing to blue in MW: Mary Worth is a Bene Gesserit and the whole strip is the story of her lifelong orchestration of the secret breeding program. What the hell she’s aiming for as an end result is anyone’s guess, but you don’t want to be around when she achieves it.

195. RJ the Janitor
     December 10th, 2009 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

     Wow! You guys sure are keeping this place looking spic n’ span clean now. There’s not much for me to do. I guess ol’ Josh had a talk with you. I don’t blame him after that last cleaning bill I gave him. Heh, heh.

     I notice that Mr. B. Racoon has infiltrated my cousin Rufus’ strip “Gasoline Alley”. All I got to say is GOOD FOR HIM! I’ve been telling Rufus for years that strip needs to go. He just looks at me and acts like he doesn’t know what I’m talking about. Thing is, I don’t think he’s acting.

     Keep up the good work with your cleanliness people.

196. bourbon babe, unbuckled
     December 10th, 2009 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

     195 RJ: You’re right that it doesn’t look too bad—except for that pile of rejected male comics characters over in the corner. Oh, and I keep tripping over this small, khaki-clad leg with a bloody stump…..

197. Poteet
     December 10th, 2009 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

     GA — Today’s strip reminds me of why I had to quit listening to a local public radio show when it featured a vet answering questions once a month. At least a third of the questions caused me to scream at the radio “Get off the phone and get your animal to a vet immediately, you fool! The vet said the same thing, but more politely.

198. RJ the Janitor
     December 10th, 2009 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

     Miss. bourbon babe @196. Oh, that’s what that pile is. The light is a bit poor in that corner. Although it seems that Dagwood fella sure has a big grin on his face. I’ll remove them right away. I ain’t about to go near that leg stump. It’s starting to regenerate!

199. bourbon babe, unbuckled
     December 10th, 2009 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

     198 RJ: Uh, leave Dagwood…..

200. BananaSam
     December 10th, 2009 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

     Maybe the Jumble is branching out into an elaborate Alternate Reality Game based word scrambling. I went ahead and Googled some of the obvious anagrams for “comic image” and “Houston Chronicle” to see if anything leapt out. then I realized it was finals season and I had much much better things to be doing.

201. RJ the Janitor
     December 10th, 2009 at 11:54 pm [Reply]

     Miss bourbon babe @199. Yes’m. You want him left standing or in a prone position? And what can be done about that regenerating leg?

202. Heraldguy
     December 10th, 2009 at 11:54 pm [Reply]

     RMMD: Thank heaven for little girls
     They grow up in the most delightful way

203. sugarpie
     December 10th, 2009 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

     I’m surprised no one is tagging any, or all, of Luann’s (albeit jailbait) swaines for romantic possiblities: Aaron Hill, Miguel, and…urp…Quill. And I’m betting Evans is even more surprised; he spends as much time lovingly rendering them as he does the pneumatic Tiffany.

     Also, Jill from ‘Buckles’ always has a dreamy, satisfied look on her face.

204. commodorejohn
     December 10th, 2009 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

     #193 Mardou Fox – Not at all! The long-winded and off-topic posts are some of the finest content on the site. Regale away!

205. Carbunicle
     December 11th, 2009 at 12:01 am [Reply]

     re Frank Herbert’s Mary Worth. Simply awesome. Kudos! (Baron Aldo Harkonnen, anyone?)

206. KarMann
     December 11th, 2009 at 12:04 am [Reply]

     Just a hint to the ladies here: If you’re looking for beddable men in comics, our own gracious host has been featured in the Jumble, among other cartoons (less specifically identifiably, perhaps).

207. Carbunicle
     December 11th, 2009 at 12:16 am [Reply]

     Fetishizing Josh’s comic manifestations seems like fun and games at first until Margo is factored in. Then I think Mrs. Josh is going to expect some sort of explanation beyond ‘fan service.’

208. bourbon babe, unbuckled
     December 11th, 2009 at 12:36 am [Reply]

     201 RJ: Oh, I’ll just arrange him …. appropriately…..

     As for the leg: Isn’t there some kind of incinerator in the basement? Although there is the tricky question of getting it down there—wouldn’t be right to ask you to do it alone.

     I know: How about we let it loose in some isolated woodlands—some kind of, say, “lost” forest—where (un)nature can take its course?

209. RJ the Janitor
     December 11th, 2009 at 12:41 am [Reply]

     Mz. babe @208. That leg has grown another one and it’s starting on a torso. Man! I was in the first Gulf War and saw some strange stuff but never anything like this!
     Look! It’s starting to walk! It..it..it went right out the door. I guess the problem is solved.
     I didn’t know you could get Dagwood in a position like that.

210. Muffaroo
     December 11th, 2009 at 12:41 am [Reply]

     Sorry I haven’t been contributing a lot today. I uncorked “Clutch Cargo, Volume 2″ with three complete adventures, and sat through “Space Station” (in which Paddlefoot goes into space, and Clutch and Spinner have to follow him with the help of a German-accented scientist) and “Operation Moon Base” (in which they go to the moon with the help of a German-accented scientist and meet Clutch’s nemesis, Carny Val, who wants to kidnap a rather well-drawn moon babe — the sole remaining inhabitant of the cratery orb — to put her in his sideshow).

     I have five volumes! I’ve watched the first one already. #1 and #2 claim to have 90 minutes of stuff on them, but I’m guessing the 60 minutes admitted to by the other three volumes is closer to the mark.

     Funny story. But never mind that, I’ll just reminisce instead. For years, I was searching for some video of Clutch and the gang, and when I finally found some, it was $15 for a half-hour VHS tape. I hesitated a while, but finally bought it, and by the time I’d been watching for ten minutes, I was saying to myself “Thank GOD it’s just HALF an HOUR!”

     But then I ran into that dollar store on the last drive down to NJ. Five volumes of Clutch, two of Captain Fathom, and one of Kimba the White Lion. And the price was right.

     So, long story short, I’m probably losing mental capacity by the hour here. This will either ruin me as a commentator, or my associational skills will become so free that I’ll start riding the float more often. Time will tell, readers! Time will tell.

211. RJ the Janitor
     December 11th, 2009 at 12:44 am [Reply]

     Mz. babe? Dagwood? I think I best be leaving now.
     Night all.

212. bourbon babe, unbuckled
     December 11th, 2009 at 12:46 am [Reply]

     209 RJ: He’s bendy—probably one of the reasons for Blondie’s constant look of satisfied contentment. Gotta like an agile man.

213. Ranger
     December 11th, 2009 at 12:59 am [Reply]

     Today’s jousting tournament will feature June vs Brook. Brook has the advantage in age and reach, but June’s got some tricks up her blouse.

214. Poteet
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:17 am [Reply]

     12/11 S-M — You have got to be kidding me. This, from Sir MopeAloud?

215. Girl Reporter
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:23 am [Reply]

     Nature says:

     I really abhor what’s happening in Spider-Man.

     God damn, I love this website!

216. Marion Delgado
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:29 am [Reply]

     What can we call the class of classic/nonclassic Foob?

     I’ve already relabeled it “Foob me Twice ..”

     But it’s not a zombie. Is it a vampire?

     It sucks the life blood out of everyone involved, it’s undead, but it has an animating spirit still.

     But vampires are supposed to be hott.

     So it’s a misshapen Nosferatu.

217. Marion Delgado
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:32 am [Reply]

     #31 What about Gunther doing it WITH Wilbur? Wouldn’t that cleanse your pallette?

218. Marion Delgado
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:33 am [Reply]

     palate, I mean. Although given this is a comix question, maybe palette is right.

219. Spiderman Defense League
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:34 am [Reply]

     Lorenzo de Terribile 58-63: That last one had two workable combinations. “Shout” was evidently not the right one. I solved it backwards by attacking from the final-round sentence. I hate doing that, though, being a purist.

     Mustang 109: Sign me up dude! I’ll even chip in for the Golden Pocket Protector trophy.

     M. Fox 193: I wish I could come up with a way to tie Spider-man to Jack “King” Kirby to add some Marvellous relevance to the vacuum connection. Sadly, Spiderman was one of the few Marvel comics where the undercredited penciller wasn’t Kirby (it was Steve Ditko in this case).

220. Marion Delgado
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:36 am [Reply]

     Now that Brook Kaelin has moved onto the Morgan’s couch, how long before we merge with Judge Parker in a daring crossover: “If the rubber does not fit, you must acquit!”

221. Poteet
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:37 am [Reply]

     12/11 — Waaaait a minute. So there’s enough sand in Sandman to form a giant wall, but so little that he fits inside a vacuum cleaner? I call bullsand.

222. Girl Reporter
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:40 am [Reply]

     The Sisters Girl Reporter refer to vacuuming as “shaking hands with the devil”. You might have had to be there for all the times that Mother Girl Reporter had us vibrating like tuning forks all freakin’ day leading up to a party.

     And, and! Did you notice how the wife died in About Schmidt?!!

223. Nekrotzar
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:41 am [Reply]

     #197 -
     Hi doc, long time listener, first time caller. I wonder if you could help me — my cat’s back legs have become detached and I can’t figure out how to stick them back on. Also, there’s this red stuff all over the place — is that bad? I tried dipping my french fries in it but it wasn’t very good.

224. bats :[
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:42 am [Reply]

     205. Carbunicle: if we’re going there, I want to see Charley Smith’s giant sandworm.

225. blah
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:42 am [Reply]

     You know where Rex is staring. While his eyes have jumped out of his head cartoon wolf style between panels, the rest of him is unimpressed by Brook’s pecs and turn away.

226. Poteet
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:56 am [Reply]

     # 223 Nekrotzar — Yep, you have the idea, unfortunately. Some of the calls were from pet owners asking good questions about behavioral issues or wanting advice on which breed of dog would be best for their family. But then there were the calls like “My cat has been lying around for five days, not eating or drinking or peeing. Could something be wrong?” That kind of call made Poteet want to smack the caller upside the head, really hard.

227. Girl Reporter
     December 11th, 2009 at 2:05 am [Reply]

     Basil.

     Although, and I don’t feel good about myself for feeling this way, but – at this point he may be best left as a fond memory.

228. Poteet
     December 11th, 2009 at 2:14 am [Reply]

     12/11 GA — Having shown us How Not To Take Care Of An Infirm Old Man, GA has moved on to How Not To Take Care Of A Cat. Wonderful.

229. Bryan Bryan
     December 11th, 2009 at 2:21 am [Reply]

     “Yes, that’s right, a vacuum cleaner! And it’s going to be lights out for you, Sandman, just as soon as I find a… just as soon as I plug it into a… nearby… Oh goddamn it Spidey, come on. You can do this.”

230. KarMann
     December 11th, 2009 at 2:29 am [Reply]

     12/11: Alert! Alert! Merlot sighting on Ballard Street! Notify the Racoons immediately!

231. Nekrotzar
     December 11th, 2009 at 2:34 am [Reply]

     #226 Poteet -
     My neighbors once had a cat that kept getting pregnant & my neighbors couldn’t figure out how to make her stop. So one day after she was starting to ’show’, she just disappeared. They told us that she had had rabies and was put down.

     We wanted to see if we needed to do anything to protect our own cats so we called the town Animal Control officer. She told us that there hadn’t been a case of rabies in years. The officer also called the neighbor’s vet, who denied having seen them recently.

     We still don’t know what happened to the (very sweet) cat, but we know it wasn’t good. Oh, and we ended up having to find homes for the kittens from the previous litter — the neighbors had just locked them outside.

     Maybe you could come by and smack them upside the head for me?

     (They have another cat now. Just had her 3rd litter. They still don’t know how to stop it.)

232. zamros
     December 11th, 2009 at 2:50 am [Reply]

     I really like 12/10’s Dick Tracy, mostly because of the third panel. The punctuation-less “FINALLY” coming from Dick would be funny enough to me, but also check out how the shading makes it look like Dick’s grown a full head of luxurious black locks.

233. Jason1981
     December 11th, 2009 at 2:54 am [Reply]

     69: Oh, I see..so Lost Forrest is kinda like those cities in Power Rangers, where each one conveniently has abandoned buildings, a beach, jungle, etc.

     12-10:

     S-M: I just remembered something…isn’t a vacumm cleaner how Spidey beat Sandman the first time in the comic books? (I think I remember reading about that on some website…)

234. Farley's Revenge
     December 11th, 2009 at 3:05 am [Reply]

     Spidey should brandish a kennel filled with cats which have been cooped up for hours. That would strike terror in the sandbox of the Sandman’s heart.

     “Give yourself up or you’re kitty litter, pal!”

     “NOOOOO!!!!”

235. Charlene
     December 11th, 2009 at 3:16 am [Reply]

     Dick Tracy: Ripped from the Headlines. And by this I mean this decade’s headlines, not ones from the 1930s.

236. Farley's Revenge
     December 11th, 2009 at 3:33 am [Reply]

     MT: “The door is LOCKED. THE PLACE IS CLOSED!” So what does Mr. Genius do? He stands there looking in the dirty window wondering if he can find something to use to help free Rusty. Well, unless the store contains a pickled brain in a jar that he might use in place of the atrophied raisin that currently rattles around in his cranium, I’m thinking he’s wasting his time.

     I am impressed, however, by the fact he was actually running in the first panel. I didn’t know he knew how.

     RMMD: A close-up of The Frigid Stare of Death! No way the messy relative will survive now. In the meantime, Rex perfects his statue impersonation and their rugrat has wandered off to parts unknown.

     MC: Creepy Janitor sighting!

237. Stephen H.
     December 11th, 2009 at 3:37 am [Reply]

     More concisely:
     1) Buy an expensive guitar.
     2) ???
     3) PROFIT!!!

238. Mibbitmaker
     December 11th, 2009 at 3:40 am [Reply]

     December 11, 1961 2009:

     A3G: Odd expression from Margo reacting to that. Her “I look down at you all” look. Except, that’s what makes Margo Margo.

     HotC: At least it didn’t go “NOTARY SOJAK”.

     Mutts: What’s this, Smokey Stover Appreciation Day?

     BBailey: FINALLY, an excuse to do this joke:

     MADoff ~
     A potrzebie scheme

     Cleats: Part of an al-Qaeda jobs plan.

     DtM: Dennis the Observant Kid

     GT: “I’m going to push your brain in, destroying it with my huge index finger — and, Jamarr, you’re going to love it!”

     MT: Trail’s going to break into a business and steal something? My, how the straightarrows have fallen!

     MW: “Dear Kurt — HONK OFF, BOZO!”

     MC: Ed Power is an extraordinarily awesome guy. First, he e-mailed an apology to True Fable, then he gives Ren Hoek some work. I salute you, Ed! :o)

     PBS: Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!

     R=R: If that doesn’t say “I love my wife”, nothing does!

     RMMD: WILLYOUGETONWITHIT?!!! — Ralph Kramden

     S-M: Sandman, we’ve gotta talk — over there, by the 20 foot tall whisk broom….”

239. Marion Delgado
     December 11th, 2009 at 4:40 am [Reply]

     Tides up! I guess now we know why he’s called “Rusty” – they keep getting him wet!

240. Just some guy
     December 11th, 2009 at 6:03 am [Reply]

     Whoever writes/draws Spider-Man has to be doing it intentionally. It’s probably some intern saying to himself, “Let’s see what ridiculous thing I can insert this week and get away with… I know, I’ll make the vacuum cleaner absurdly out of proportion!”

241. I am Jack's username
     December 11th, 2009 at 8:15 am [Reply]

     What the hell kind of dickass super power is turning into sand? “I’ll turn to sand and let the wind blow me away!” Wow, great plan, turn into harmless dust with no volitional mobility, you sure are quite the villain.

242. ViolaWoman
     December 11th, 2009 at 8:23 am [Reply]

     I must say that the two pinheads in panel two of “Dick Tracy” came up with an idea that is actually brilliant, since what they really stole was a cheap Gibson knock-off guitar, judging by the shape of the case.

243. Little Guy
     December 11th, 2009 at 9:18 am [Reply]

     S-M: This better-than-an-Electrolux vacuum is capable of handling dense expanding sand, but it’s crappy with cat hair.

     JP: “Did I do bad?”

     RMMD: “I got in here by picking the locks with my tits, like you showed me when I was a kid.”

     DtM: Good question.

     Lio: Cross-Win!

     9CL: Yes, Bitter Hag Burber. You won WWII by yourself, but because everyone hated you, the history books left that fact out.

     BTW, Dr Julii will be revealed as a love child of the British officer.

     That’s half-Lemonpuss, half-Limey.

     That makes Dr Julii a Sprite.

244. ignatz
     December 11th, 2009 at 9:59 am [Reply]

     Mark Trail: And Mark gets arrested for burglary as Rusty’s hideous lungs fill with water.

     Spider-Man: The artist is obviously taking perspective courses from Jack Elrod and merely applying it to vacuum cleaners instead of squirrels.

     And Sandman is apparently the first super-villain in history than can be defeated by anyone with an Electrolux.

245. Écureuil Écumant
     December 11th, 2009 at 10:03 am [Reply]

     BB: Milo Minderbinder lives!

246. tom
     December 11th, 2009 at 10:10 am [Reply]

     Hey! Jack Elrod, it’s 2009 how about a cell phone? But since it’s 1965 in Mark Trail’s world he should be able to find a phone booth outside the closed store.

247. Comrade Denny
     December 11th, 2009 at 10:15 am [Reply]

     MW: In a plot twist to end all plot twists we discover that Mary Worth is the father of Kurt Evans. And what about Jack Worth? Yes, what about him?…

248. Muffaroo
     December 11th, 2009 at 10:19 am [Reply]

     Dick – If the fake is a reasonable facsimile, I can see why it fetched two million. Stradivarius couldn’t have made that many ukuleles.

     (footnote: In blind tests, the experts can’t seem to pick out Strads, even from modern violins.)

     Mark – I’m guessing that a shack all by itself in the trackless forest just wasn’t the great location the owner had hoped for. Sounds like a real genius. Don’t go in there, Mark! You might meet yourself.

     Mary – “Let’s see… I speak the same language as these young people. How about: ‘LOL OMG Srsly, P off- im a 14yo gurl. ‘”

     Phantom – “What did you do to merit such revenge by the Python?” “Hmmm. Must be the time I heckled the stage during the Dead Parrot sketch.”

     Pluggers – “Because our breath is cooler than hot food and warmer than cold hands, dumb ass.” Oh, wait. They’re pluggers, so they won’t realize that. They’ll just fret over it all day and conclude that it’s witchcraft.

     Prickly – “Rock solid?” Stoned agin!

249. Sequitur
     December 11th, 2009 at 10:19 am [Reply]

     Does anyone else think PBS is becoming a cliché? Rat gets new object. Rat wallops Pig with object.
     At least Pig didn’t get hit in the oompa-loompas.

250. Muffaroo
     December 11th, 2009 at 10:20 am [Reply]

     Six – Funny? On a Friday? Expect toads to fall from the sky soon.

     Spidey – And a great line from Spider-Man! Make that flaming toads. With frickin’ laser beams.

     Wizard – Almost made the trifecta, but the execution was too clumsy. He should have just held out his other hand and said “I want a second opinion.”

     Poteet @221 – It’s not the giant sand wall that disturbed me, it was Sandman’s re-formed giant head and shoulders on top of it. He has powers he doesn’t even know about.

     Jason 1981 @233 – Maybe you read about it here, where I’ve mentioned it two times. This is ’some website’!

251. queek
     December 11th, 2009 at 10:23 am [Reply]

     Lio: brought to you today by Charles Schultz.

     HotC: brought to you today by the Three Stooges.

     RwO: *grooooooooooooooooaaaan*

     MG&G: o dear, that’s a Freudian turn of events. . . .

     MC: and here we see RJ on his day job.

     6C: heh.

252. Bryan
     December 11th, 2009 at 10:25 am [Reply]

     Blondie: Finally, someone tells Dagwood his wife is damned hot!
     Funky Winkerbean: Ewww, skeezy adult guys scamming on high school girls.
     One Big Happy: “Maybe we should try having her stomach pumped!”

253. jwer
     December 11th, 2009 at 10:29 am [Reply]

     Formstone? MILFORD IS BALTIMORE???

254. Sequitur
     December 11th, 2009 at 10:35 am [Reply]

     Blondie: Looks like Dagwood had an interesting night. Hmmm. I wonder if…??

255. soslight
     December 11th, 2009 at 10:35 am [Reply]

     Hey, Rex Morgan looks just like my ex-boyfriend that time we were running and he tried to convince me I was wrong about 5k being 3.1 miles. I’ll bet Rex looks like a tool when he runs too.

     Also, I’ve just developed an epic aversion to this comic.

256. mrklingon
     December 11th, 2009 at 10:45 am [Reply]

     Whew – the Jumble is back!!! Maybe my email (once I *found* their email address – having “klingon” in your email address is VERY impressive, I’ll have you know) got them to return it…

257. LUJBEM FEJF
     December 11th, 2009 at 10:48 am [Reply]

     #256 Mr. Kilngon- One less thing to do today. Thanks for the info! Live long and prosper.

258. Zamboni_Rodeo
     December 11th, 2009 at 10:51 am [Reply]

     228, Poteet:

     So GA educates as well as entertains.

     … Well, it educates, at least, anyway.

259. Roland Burton Hedley, III
     December 11th, 2009 at 10:54 am [Reply]

     *beep*beep*beep*beep**beep**beep**beep**beep*
     THIS JUST IN!

     I headless torso with developing arms has been seen wandering around the greater Baltimore area. Updates when appropriate.

     *beep*beep*beep*beep**beep**beep**beep**beep*

260. Bootsy
     December 11th, 2009 at 11:03 am [Reply]

     Ecureuil Ecumant sez:

     Except in LoFo they don’t have any cardamom, so Mark uses filé instead.

     You are obviously a witty intelligent person, what with the amateur rocketeering and such esoteric pursuits, and being a denizen of this site. However, based on the above statement, I must beg you never to make gumbo. Or pancake balls either for that matter.

261. Christian LeBlanc
     December 11th, 2009 at 11:16 am [Reply]

     re: 243: Little Guy:
     “That makes Dr Julii a Sprite.”

     Is that a reference to Pibgorn?! :D

262. Niall
     December 11th, 2009 at 11:25 am [Reply]

     Sorry, been really busy preparing for a trip to Toronto tonight. With luck, I’ll finally be able to go to a real Beni Hana. (The airline shuttle deposits me right in front of it.)

     Rose is Rose: Wait, his full name is Jimbo Gumbo?? Also, she doesn’t seem to mind being compared to a howling monkey? That marriage only works through prescription-strength drugs, doesn’t it?

     Margo Magee: Margo is thinking, “If I squint just right, he looks just like Eric… could I live with that?” Also, Margo: it’s a will. It pre-supposes the person is dead. There’s no reason for a euphemism.

     AD alternative reading: both are thinking in panel 2: “holy crap, don’t tell me I’m attracted to that!” Panel 3: “RUN AWAY!” Sigh; denial is always sad to see.

     Blondie: I think most of us agree on the “knockout wife” part. Nice to see it said in so many words in-strip though.

     Curtis: Next time, don’t put your report in your rubber backpack, that way it won’t bounce from the school steps all the way to the middle of the road. (Either that or Derrick has one hell of a throwing arm and should look at the NBA as a career.)

     Dick: I didn’t know Stradivarius made 3/4 violins…

     Dilbert: Buzz off, it’s also very handy in a power blackout – it actually works then. And doesn’t need batteries. Of course, if I’m the only one I know with one, I won’t be able to actually call anyone… but I can still call emergency numbers. Nyah!

     FC: I very, very briefly had my mind read ahead and see “Grandma wants to clean her OWN garage for a change” and had shivers – not because she’s old, but because the entire ennui she has going on would make it completely drab. Also because it would mean she cleaned someone else’s garage, and the possibilities are all squicky.

     Thorp: Is the surprise their ability to plunge their arms in Milford players’ torsos, or simply that they’re one-armed and therefore can do a mean shoulder check?

     Hagar: … … … ABOUT BLOODY TIME. Except I wanted to see it drawn.

     Parker: Wait, what? Is the Judge actually aggravated at the illegal antics going on? Is there a glimmer of hope that Sam will be jailed for his actions and there is no Pretty People Posse? Tune in next week when I’m proven wrong!

     Trail: ..I can’t do this justice. I just can’t. I’m not worthy.

     Cage: And once more, Creepy Janitor Guy gets a win and garners new fans. Ironically. :)

     OBH: Nice try, and a great message to send, but fails on one crucial item: no aspirin has ever tasted like candy. Precisely for this reason.

     Phantom: Oh, good going, lady! You just ruined your entire psychological advantage! Now she’ll know she’s right and sane, and she’ll start doing pushups and situps and grow lots of muscles, and soon she’ll bust her way out of there and lady, she won’t hesitate to actually pump that syringe of cleaner fluid in your neck.

     Pluggers have zero knowledge of basic physics: “because you’re trying to get both closer to your body temperature, that of your breath – from much warmer or much colder to something more tolerable.”

263. Little Guy
     December 11th, 2009 at 11:32 am [Reply]

     261: I wasn’t going there, but that made for an awesome double entende! Good pickup!

     Sidenote: Bring Back Mister Kitty!

264. Sequitur
     December 11th, 2009 at 11:32 am [Reply]

     Interesting. The Fort Worth Star-Telegram now just lays out all their comics for you. No clicking involved.
     One oddity. While its in alphabetical order, for some reason Dilbert is on top.

265. queek
     December 11th, 2009 at 11:32 am [Reply]

     not only has True Fable been posting on Daily Squee again, so has Dingo

266. rocketbride
     December 11th, 2009 at 11:34 am [Reply]

     spiderman knows how to do houshold chores? man, mj is gonna be pissed when she finds out that his whole “loses spidey powers around a cleaning tool” story was a blatant lie. come to think of it, i think my ex-husband used the same trick on me. men! spidermen!

267. Poteet
     December 11th, 2009 at 11:49 am [Reply]

     # 231 Nekrotzar — I sure wish I could. Thank you for finding homes for the kittens. Your kindness is the bright part of a bleak story.

268. Poteet
     December 11th, 2009 at 11:54 am [Reply]

     If anyone knows or finds out what’s going on with the RipHaywire website that provides STEVE CANYON, I’d greatly appreciate knowing. Now I’ll just sniffle quietly.

269. Sequitur
     December 11th, 2009 at 11:59 am [Reply]

     Are you tired of pressing the F5 button or clicking the refresh icon to refresh your screen to see if new comments are here? Well, here is a tool that will auto refresh your screen anywhere from 10 seconds to 10 minutes. Once you install it you’ll have to exit your Windows Internet Explorer and restart it. Then just right click on your toolbar (status bar) at the top to activate it.
     WARNING: BE SURE TO TURN IT OFF IF YOU ARE ABOUT TO POST A COMMENT!

     There is also a Firefox version. (I haven’t tested this since we can only use IE at work).

270. TheDiva
     December 11th, 2009 at 11:59 am [Reply]

     BaBl: Weenie. Try working in the children’s section of a library during storytime–you will NEVER get “Down By the Bay” out of your head.

     Cathy: I miss the good old days when you didn’t tell someone how much you spent on them (unless you give them money or a gift card, in which case it’s pretty much unavoidable). Oh wait–I still don’t do that, because I’m not a neurotic twit.

     FW: Is…is that Mopey Pete hitting on Summer? I suppose I should be squicked, but after putting up with Les, what’s a little statutory rape?

     Marvin: Aaaaand it’s official, Marvin’s a budding sociopath.

     MW: “I’ve got it! ‘Dear Kurt, fuck off, Yours, Wilbur.’”

     Pluggers also wonder why we park on driveways and drive on parkways. (Hint: “Park” refers to the trees and grass that usually line such a thoroughfare.)

271. bourbon babe, unbuckled
     December 11th, 2009 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

     MT: Yeah, yeah—Store’s closed; Mark’s going to break in and get all MacGyver in there, forgetting that his ingenuity extends only as far as his right and left fists.

     Now can we get back to the scenes of Rusty suffering on the beach?

     MW: Pleasepleaseplease let that reply begin: “Dear Kurt: When a man and woman love each other very much…..”

     A3G: Margo is clearly thinking, “Well, yes, of course he did. Now how long until I get all that money?”

     JP: Obviously, this isn’t the first time the detective has had to deal with Sam’s handiwork. “Crap, what is it this time? Screwing up the crime scene? Tampering with evidence? Fucking Driver….”

     DtM: So now Dennis is branching into Seinfeldian observational humor? Huh—actually, that is kind of menacing.

     FC: And so Grandma and Grandpa move on, elderly migrant laborers, carrying their meager belongings with them to the next cramped guest room with its cast-off furniture and lumpy twin beds, the next living room that hasn’t been properly dusted in years, the beds with their accumulations of dust bunnies underneath, the refrigerator shelves that will finally be wiped down, the children eager for a home-cooked meal and a real pie crust, and the ungrateful parents, with their fixed smiles and quick—but detectable—eyerolls.

     But whenever there’s a table to be set properly, they’ll be there. And whenever there’s a grandchild to be spoiled, they’ll be there. And when that family finally sits down to a nutritious, well-prepared meal—why, they’ll be there.

272. Perky Bird
     December 11th, 2009 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

     Pluggers should be pondering how a kangaroo can mate with a bear and produce viable offspring.

273. Artist formerly known as Ben
     December 11th, 2009 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

     12/11

     JP: “That’s right. We have the note. We would have handed it right over to you, but… Well, then it wouldn’t be a surprise.”

     MT: “I know. I’ll open one of those cans of spinach and gobble it down, giving me the strength to push the car off of Rusty. That is me, right?”

     SRx: How to draw a frog that really needs to go take a whiz.

     S4th: At first I thought, “Hey, it looks like Ted made a friend at work, besides the one he not-so-secretly lusts after.” Sadly for him this is not the case.

     Phantom: “Sure I’m on the take from Africa’s most evilest warlord. And yes, you’ll die in prison for a crime you didn’t commit. Doesn’t mean we can’t have a friendly chat.”

     GT: Blocking the guy who’s carrying the ball is a surprise? What am I missing here?

     DtM: The cop pesters Dennis and Joey, ignoring the people in the background who are actually on the grass. He’s read a collection from the fifties and thinks Dennis is actually a menace.

     GA: If we’re in for a two-month “Christmas tale of the dying kittycat” I’m going to start coughing up hairballs of my own.

     S-M: Spidey rags out the Sandman for narrating the action as it happens. Truly this is a “pot, meet kettle” moment for the ages.

274. Bryan
     December 11th, 2009 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

     262, Niall: Buzz off, it’s also very handy in a power blackout…

     I still have a land line because I live in a valley in the middle of nowhere and the only way I can get a signal is if I climb the hill behind my house, Green Acres-style. Also, I think we can see why Dilbert gets laid less often than the average Vulcan.

     Hey, I had a Niall-spotting moment just the other day. I was watching the 1974 Sean Connery vehicle Zardoz and the character of Arthur Frayn was played by a guy named Niall Buggy.
     It’s not a name I encounter very often so I immediately thought of you.

275. Poteet
     December 11th, 2009 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

     # 262 Niall — Re Dilbert, yeah. My only line is a landline, and yet here I am, still breathing and walking around. I suppose I may have to get a cell one day, but I’m in no hurry. Meanwhile, I can watch the TV news cellular service ads in which each company tries to explain why it doesn’t suck quite as much as the other companies.

276. Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
     December 11th, 2009 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

     Queek #265: Aw… those are cute pups. Right now I’m living in a building that doesn’t allow pets. When I finally get the gumption to buy a house, I plan on having two Pembroke Welsh Corgis to scamper about the place. And Pastis. Pastis in boxer shorts and the glow of my sweet love covering his unshowered body. Ah…

277. commodorejohn
     December 11th, 2009 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

     A3G – Oh baby. Margo got saddled with the gallery, didn’t she?

     BrS – Wait, what?

     Curtis – So inform the teacher, tell the principal, get them disciplined, and be given time to redo the report, or maybe even get excused from it. It doesn’t seem that hard.

     Dilbert – Not to interrupt your snobbish superiority, Adams, but what else would a home phone be?

     FC – Ah, the Keanes brought over Thel’s parents for a couple weeks of indentured servitude. Charming!

     FW – Dear God, don’t tell me Mopey Pete is going to start hitting on Summer. Well, at least it’s not incesty like with Les.

     GT – Oh no! Valley Tech has mastered the devastating Awkward Drunken Embrace technique!

     H&L – “Storage memory speed?” What. What does that even mean? “Storage memory?” What, like flash RAM? Or maybe old-school core memory? Maybe Chip is tired of using the PDP-8 his parents bought at the garage sale held by the local college when the strip finally moved into the 2000s. He doesn’t know how good he’s got it; back in Lois’s day, it was drum memory and proprietary teleprinters all the way.

     Luann – Okay, he doesn’t even understand human body language. He’s not Australian, he’s a space alien pretending to be Australian. Nanu nanu!

     MT – Oh man, is Mark going to punch the local blue laws?

     MW – So tell us, Mr. Ask Wendy, what’s the proper etiquette for dealing with surprise discoveries of illegitimate children?

     Pluggers – Pluggers are stupid.

     RMMD – June has a mom? I kind of assumed she just sprang fully-formed from someone’s forehead.

     SM – No. No. You do not get to just lampshade your stupidity and walk away from it when it’s this stupid. At the very least I demand an explanation for why Sandman can’t reform into a structure that can puncture through the cloth bag of the vacuum cleaner.

278. Marthas Rolling Pin
     December 11th, 2009 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

     #268 Poteet, RipHaywire is still working fine for me. If you need a fix, I can save the ones you’re missing to a file & upload it. (Are we the only two people who care?? Anyway, I owe you for directing me to RipHaywire after Steve got evicted from his last digs)

279. Artist formerly known as Ben
     December 11th, 2009 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

     #275 Poteet,
     As far as only having a land line, me too. And that’s a good thing, considering how many of my incoming calls are telemarketers. And is it just me, or is at least 50% of TV advertising from telecom companies now?

280. BigTed
     December 11th, 2009 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

     RMMD: How do you inform faraway relatives that you’ve sent your hot but troubled daughter to live with them? Not with a phone call or an e-mail or a text or a Facebook alert, but with a letter. That’s right, the U.S. mail: for those times when you really want a message to arrive late or not at all.

281. LP2004
     December 11th, 2009 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

     Dilbert – Here in Maryland, as far as I’m aware, you can’t tell just from looking at the number whether a phone is a land line or a cell phone. Are things done differently in Scott Adams’ universe?

282. mere cog in the machine
     December 11th, 2009 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

     I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Dilbert is an asshole. Not a funny asshole, not an ironic asshole; just an asshole. So fuck you, Dilbert.

283. bourbon babe, unbuckled
     December 11th, 2009 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

     265 queek: Oh, cuteness overload!
     (And—caught up on Top Chef. My project for the new year: Getting a reservation at my TV boyfriend’s restaurant, Volt; it’s just north of here. My friends and I have been trying, with no luck—hoping the buzz dies down a bit after the holidays.)

     276 Dingo: What’s with the name addendum? Do you think Santa Claus is watching, or are you gearing up for the Feast of the Immaculate Conception? (Oh, and corgis! Love boxer-clad Pastis Pembroke Welsh corgis!) (Hmmm…. That strike-out is a lie; I’m with you: corgis AND Pastis.)

284. colonial
     December 11th, 2009 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

     GT: Valley Tech’s big surprise is a night of dancing?

285. Perky Bird
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

     #281 LP2004:

     I live in Northern Virginia, and my cell phone has a totally different area code from my land line. But they just may be because they finally ran out of 703 numbers and had to adopt a new area code for newer phone lines.

286. bourbon babe, unbuckled
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

     285 Perky Bird: I think you’re right (I’m in NoVa, too). My cell has a 703 area code because it’s an older number, and there are land lines with the new area code. So I don’t know that there’s any way to tell just by looking at the number.

     Maybe Dilbert’s assuming because she has both a cell number and a home number? When really, what he should be assuming is that he’ll never have sex again.

287. Mardou Fox
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

     The Morgans just got back from their year-long cruise. Was their U.S. Mail supposed to be forwarded to them on the cruise? And who was taking care of Abby?

288. bourbon babe, unbuckled
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

     287 Mardou Fox: “And who was taking care of Abby?”

     Wilbur Weston?

289. Mardou Fox
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

     288 bb: I just threw up a little bit.

290. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

     277 -re Dilbert — In my case, ANYTHING but a land line. I can’t stand Qwest, and won’t give them a dime.

     I’m phone-o-phobic — for years I couldn’t order a pizza without actually going down to the shop and doing it in person. I wouldn’t have any kind of phone at all if I didn’t see the need for 911. Thank God for online, Internet ordering, or I’d starve.

     I figure, if the VoIP connection fails, and both cell phones have dead batteries, and I can’t get a charger to any of them, AND I can’t find a neighbor with a working phone, I may just have bigger things to worry about than not being able to talk on the phone.

291. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

     281 — Times have changed a bit, but there was a time when folks like Scott Adams (a former PacBell engineer) could tell you down to the telco center (and rack location) a particular prefix was from.

292. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

     287 — Abby the Wonder Dog (r) probably doesn’t need a sitter. After all, she’s smarter than both Sarah and Niki put together.

293. Sequitur
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

     292. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
     It could have been Abby the Wonder Dog that trashed the place.

294. Sequitur
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

     I’m still curious about what happened between bb,u and Dagwood. Dag’s neck seems quite stiff today.

295. Marthas Rolling Pin
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

     #294, neck?

296. Nature
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

     They don’t call him Dag”wood” for nothin’ ya know.

297. Sequitur
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

     295. Marthas Rolling Pin
     Well, the part to which you’re referring isn’t pictured in today’s strip.

298. bats :[
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

     287. Mardou Fox: I believe Becka was taking care of Abby. Then again, with all of her running around with Tim In Search of Geezers, Abby is probably a mummfied sack of doggie bones right about now. Good dog, Abby!

299. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

     Luann: Let the cat-fight begin!!

     Nasty Pantysniffer: “You’re Darrin’s sister Summer, right?”………”Half sister. HALF SISTER. Half. HALF. HALF!!!!”

     MT: Rusty please die.

     Sex Organ, MD: “………you’re a deer in my headlights, Missy!”

300. Baka Gaijin
     December 11th, 2009 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

     #234 Farley’s Revenge: Oh I would so pay to see that. So pay.

     #276 Dingo, etc: Planning to stop by Buckingham Palace any time soon? For the Canis familiaris, not the Comicis artistis.

     #281 LP2004: She’s obviously from England. Numbers beginning with “07″ are cell phones.

301. Sparky AKA Able Bodied Seaman Craggy Fjord
     December 11th, 2009 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

     Rusty’s dead yet? Or is this part of the process of his metamorphosis into a new younger Mark Trail?

302. Analyzer
     December 11th, 2009 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

     Legal danger lies ahead for the Dick Tracy creative team as they are simultaneously sued by Michael Bolton and Mac Tonight for the unauthorized use of their images.

303. Carly
     December 11th, 2009 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

     Tomorrow on Spider-Man: Peter realizes vacuum cleaners have to be plugged in.

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