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Warning: Today’s Dick Tracy strip elicits the least unpleasant commentary

Dennis the Menace, 12/17/09

I hereby request demand that Dennis the Menace be renamed Henry Mitchell the Lascivious, Menacing Pervert, as today he appears to be insisting that Dennis ensure that sexily emaciated 15-year-old baby-sitter Chloe remain in the Mitchell family employ. I’d say that Henry was merely planning to teach Dennis about sexual objectification early, or perhaps that he had found a new star for his masturbatory reveries, but yesterday we saw him making time at the mall with some non-wife person, so clearly he plans some unseemly, legally actionable advance. This panel is by far the most distasteful thing on today’s comics page.

Mary Worth, 12/17/09

By comparison, today’s Mary Worth is positively innocent, though I do require that Wilbur keep both hands where we can see them. This is literally the twelfth consecutive day Wilbur has spent parked in front of his computer, and many of us were beginning to despair that we’d ever seem a flashback, so today’s sexy thought balloon about Wilbur’s lost love is something of a breath of fresh air, even if it is juxtaposed with a facial expression of Spock-like seriousness. C’mon Wilbur, who could have resisted that pearl necklace, that frilly collar, that fringy jacket? It was the sort of outfit that drove men wild, on whatever alternate-universe 1970s Earth where someone might have actually worn it!

Dick Tracy, 12/17/09

I would like to point out that that the alienating, inhumanely scaled architecture on display in the second panel of today’s Dick Tracy nicely parallels the alienation between long-haired father and long-haired son. I’d also like to point out that, if you want your rage-frenzied classical orchestra conductor dad to stop hitting you, you probably shouldn’t refer to violins as “fiddles.”

Ziggy, 12/17/09

In case you’re wondering what this is about: this is what this is about! I’d like to add that I dearly hope that comics editors really do go work wearing a suit and tie, and that they sit behind a large, imposing desk, and that, when they ask hairless, half-naked weirdos to maybe put on some pants, they do so with an expression that shows that they speak more from sorrow than from anger.

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 17, 2009 at 08:02 pm and is filed under Dennis the Menace, Dick Tracy, Mary Worth, Ziggy. |

170 responses to “Warning: Today’s Dick Tracy strip elicits the least unpleasant commentary”

Ed Dravecky
December 17th, 2009 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

Funky: I fear this is whispered anxiety about musical theater all a setup for Glum!, a depressing new TV show coming soon to the Westview affiliate of FOX.

Hi & Lois: Chip stays on top of emerging technologies with Byte magazine–which was last printed in July 1998. Won’t he be surprised after he invests all that Christmas cash in Pets.com and WebGrocer.

Mary Worth: Oh, bless Wilbur’s sandwich-clogged heart: an actual flashback to young Abby. Let the headstrong and wild rumpus begin!

PBS: Ha! It’s funny because 17 days into December the damage to Pig’s liver from all that Advil is probably irreversible.

And how wrong is it that of all the guests at next month’s Dallas Comic Con, the one I’m most geeked to meet is longtime Judge Parker artist Harold LeDoux? I am clearly spending too much time on this site.
Das Storminator
December 17th, 2009 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

Abby looks disturbingly like Mary Worth in Wilbur’s flashback.
Death to the FOOBS!
December 17th, 2009 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

Y’know, Wilbur’s Dream Girl (a Manic Pixie?) looks an awful lot like some other characters…he should turn to A3G for ideas on how to vary characters effectively.
Teenage Bamm-Bamm
December 17th, 2009 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

On the contrary, I know many professional violinists who refer to their instruments as “fiddles”. What they DON’T do is sport hairstyles reminiscent of Alexandra on “Josie and the Pussycats”.
Ant Baby Machete Squad
December 17th, 2009 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

MW: The second panel clearly establishes that flashbacks are shown in black and white. We must assume, therefore, that panel 1 depicts Wilbur of the future gazing into the window of his foreclosed home yearning for the days when someone was interested in his life.
littlestevie
December 17th, 2009 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

DtM: I fear for Alice. I think that Henry wants to trade in a blonde skinny wife for a skinny blonde 15 year old. I think Alice needs to be real careful of what she eats that she has not cooked herself or go on any “car rides” with Henry. Dennis is in on it but I don’t think he can off his mom, Henry will do the dirty deed.
ArtisticPlatypus
December 17th, 2009 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

So.. The Ziggy strip (panel) doesn’t seem to contain any gag whatsoever. Is his facial expression of soul-crushing sadness the punchline, or what?
Yolm
December 17th, 2009 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

9CL: Only this? I HOPE IT’S NOT THE END!
Tim O'Shenko the Perpetual Lurker
December 17th, 2009 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

With apologies to John Prine:

Dear Abby, Dead Abby,
My face is too long,
My hair is fallin’ out & my sandwich is gone,
I tell my facebook friends we’re not related at all,
But they won’t cease to write, no they won’t cease to call
Signed, Ol’ Wilbur

Ol’ Wilbur, Ol’ Wilbur, You have no complaint,
You are what you are & you are what you ate,
So listen up Wilbur and listen up well,
You best get off of facebook ‘fore your life goes to hell
Signed, Dear Abby

Dear Abby, Dead Abby,
I finally found my old man
And have been trying to meet him, I done all that I can
But he just keeps insisting it’s all a mistake,
How can I convince him that I’m not a fake?
Signed, Young Kurtis

Young Kurtis, Young Kurtis,
You have no complaint
If you saw your old man, you’d probably faint
If you witnessed him put mayo sandwiches away,
You would be compelled to just run far away
Signed, Dead Abby

Dear Abby, Dead Abby,
I haven’t bathed in weeks,
& I am in no condition to meet these internet geeks
It’s been at least seven minutes since last I was fed,
And these four strands of hair barely cover my head
Signed, Ol’ Wilbur

Ol’ Wilbur, Ol’ Wilbur,
You have no complaint
Get out of that desk, now show no restraint
Just meet your boy, move this plot along,
‘Cause there ain’t no more verses to this here song
Signed, Dear Abby.
Poor Thompson
December 17th, 2009 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

MW: GAAA! Abby has Mary’s face!

DT (second panel): “I know I inherited your ear for music, and you have high hopes for me and all, but the undeniable fact remains that I’m just a stove. A talking stove, yes…but still a stove.”
It\'s time to pay the price
December 17th, 2009 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

And today we’re met with the shocking revelation that Wilbur and Abby actually met in Clown College.
AndyL
December 17th, 2009 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

I love Wilbur’s serious flashback face. He’s methodically and logically going through his memories of this girl to try to figure out whether or not he got her pregnant. “No, not this memory. Here she’s fully clothed. Next slide please.”
Zla'od
December 17th, 2009 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

Third chair is actually pretty good. But these days, thanks to Dr. Suzuki, violinists are mostly Asian.

Orchestra hirings are usually done through auditions, by judges who can’t see you. So nepotism isn’t that easy.
Rutskarn
December 17th, 2009 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

Question of the day: is the executive in today’s Ziggy wearing pants?

The answer may surprise you.
Poteet
December 17th, 2009 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

# 9 Tim — You really must drop by more often!
Poteet
December 17th, 2009 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

MW — If this flashback has fueled anyone’s nostalgia for bad Seventies fashion, allow me to recommend the link kindly provided by Miss Othmar in Y258. I’ve been going from page to page laughing so hard it hurts.
Mars
December 17th, 2009 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

#1: LeDeux doesn’t draw it anymore. I thought that meant he was dead.
jayjaybear
December 17th, 2009 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

Ed Dravecky – At least if it’s on Fox it’ll be canceled before New Years.
Robert
December 17th, 2009 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

People, people! Aren’t you as excited as I am that the glimpse of Abby in the 70s is merely a precursor to a full-blown flashback sequence, perhaps with Wilbur in sideburns, a big leather hat with medallions on it, and paisley bell-bottomed trousers???? Might we even be privileged to see Wilbur and Abby smoking a doobie while listening to Three Dog Night, in preparation for generating a love-child and future Facebook stalker? If this does not happen, my faith in Mary Worth’s visual appeal is OVER.

Also, #9 Tim O’Shenko: Excellent and timely adaptation of a classic! I’ll never hear that song the same way again.
Anonymous
December 17th, 2009 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

The next step in the DT story is so painfully obvious. The son is going to say that when he really wants is to play the viola. And the reaction this produces from dad will be so swift, bloody, and brutal that nearly every line of the Geneva conventions will be shredded. (And really, how can blame dad?)
mkilby
December 17th, 2009 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

Dennis (and Henry) should be careful with that 15 year old babysitter, because “Chloe” can apparently teleport: she blipped a good ten feet in the amount of time that Henry and Alice moved 18 inches closer to the door.
Patrick
December 17th, 2009 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

I know that the artists of Mary Worth are trying hard to make Abby look alluring, but her pose makes her look like she’s in a poster warning of the horrors of scoliosis.
Nekrotzar
December 17th, 2009 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

Boy did I botch that. Firstly, #20 was me. Secondly, the parenthetical remark should have either said ‘how can you blame dad’ or ‘who can blame dad’, but by sort of combining the two it came out like the blatherings of a drunk Native American stereotype.
Miss Othmar
December 17th, 2009 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

#16 Poteet — if you like those, have a look at Mr. Lilek’s Gallery of Regrettable Food. I think some of Wilbur’s sandwiches might be found there….
Joe Blevins
December 17th, 2009 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

MW: I can’t help but think of Groucho Marx’s line from Duck Soup: “My father was a little headstrong. My mother was a little Armstrong.”
tb4000
December 17th, 2009 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

I would think it would bother people more that Ziggy doesn’t have a penis, but…..I’m getting way too ahead of myself. And I don’t like it.
Aviatrix
December 17th, 2009 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

Pottert#16 – I’ve been looking too, but that’s not “nostalgia” that’s causing the pain. It’s “nausea.”

I received those clothes in hand-me-down boxes from my cousins and should I ever forget why I love my mother, just remind me that she looked at them and said, “You don’t have to wear these.”
Toby Bartels
December 17th, 2009 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

A couple of days ago, somebody linked to a Youtube of a Ziggy Christmas special. And yesterday I was very bored and, well, long story short: I watched it.

A few minutes in, we get to see Ziggy getting dressed (the highlight of the film, two thumbs up), and it is clear that, while he wears no pants as such, he wears underpants under his shirt.

He also wears a long winter coat and tall boots that together cover him completely to protect him from the cold. Thus, he is not arrested … at least, not for exposure.
Freddy the Pig
December 17th, 2009 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

My interpretation of Dennis the Menace is even creepier: Henry is urging Dennis to hit on Chloe.
Jacob
December 17th, 2009 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth: I’d like to see a show about cyber-terrosrism starring Wilbur. The title sequence would be your typical MacGyver/Magnum, P.I.-eighties-music coupled with crappy synth, and a montage of Wilbur sitting in front of his computer: always with a hand on his face, always with a discerning look in his eye.

Mark Trail: JAIL? CELLMATES? FRESH MEAT?
Digger
December 17th, 2009 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

Maybe the reason Ziggy doesn’t wear pants is because he can’t get his giant, rectangular feet through any sort of pant legs. He apparently can’t find any shoes for those freaky hooves either. Perhaps the best option might be a kilt. He’d still be weird and depressed, but he could at least pass himself as a Scotsman.
B. Racoon
December 17th, 2009 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

I realize that this blog is based on the fine art of comic snark. I seem to have been using this as a way to get to know and converse with some fine humans. This is all well and good but I do feel a bit guilty of not providing any snark fodder. Such is the case since I, by nature, am not a very snide or sarcastic being.
There is an observation that I would like to make about Mr. Wilber from the Mary Worth soap opera. Today it seems that Mr. Wilber has brought to mind a recollection of a lady from his past that was a partner with him in a carnal endeavor. I propose that this is false. I believe that Mr. Wilber is merely recalling something he saw on television many years ago and in his sandwich induced delirium feels that he actually had intimate relations with the young lady. The girl in which he probably did have an awkward roll looked more like this.
All I can add is “yes.”
BigTed
December 17th, 2009 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

While we can’t see it, the “Comics Editor” is despairing because he, too, isn’t wearing any pants. But if Ziggy finally starts wearing them, the syndicate’s human-resources manager will have an excuse to ban pantslessness for all — and the only remaining fun part of the editor’s job will go away.
Perky Bird
December 17th, 2009 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

That’s not a thought balloon behind Wilbur; there’s no string of smaller bubbles joining it to his head. No, what we’re witnessing is a rare phenomenon known as “reminiscent flatulence.” It’s mostly brought on by an overdose of sandwiches on white bread.
BigTed
December 17th, 2009 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

Abby was “headstrong and wild — a free spirit.” Which basically means she would sleep with anything that moves, a category in which even Wilbur (just barely) manages to qualify.
Dr. Pill
December 17th, 2009 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

DtM: At least this babysitter doesn’t look like she stepped out of of ’50s sock hop; she does look a little updated. If square, if y’know what I mean. It’s be great, too, if she turned out to be a clone of the babysitter o’death of Calvin & Hobbes, but that’s likely asking too much.
Hal Jordan
December 17th, 2009 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

Dick Tracy: So I haven’t been following this strip. Is the second panel suppose to be where this conversation takes place? Because it looks a lot like my kitchen! Are they in my microwave? Dishwasher? I’m scared to go downstairs…
BigTed
December 17th, 2009 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

I think Henry actually thinks Dennis himself has a shot with the babysitter. After all, if anyone knows about dating out of your league, it’s the pointy-nosed, glasses-wearing engineer married to Alice Mitchell.
Hal Jordan
December 17th, 2009 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

Miss Othmar [24]? I love the nom de blog! I still can’t forgive you for breaking Linus’ heart though…
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 17th, 2009 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

y229 Sequitur: Oooh, my kind of holiday spirits—non-denominational and festive!

And yes, one can drink champagne out of anything, but whether one should is a different question altogether.

As for the Widow (Double) D, I just assumed that because she was in a cocktail dress, she must have been drinking cocktails. Dopey me.
Crankshafts Funky Smelling Corpse
December 17th, 2009 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

FW: Is this kid supposed to be gay? Is that it? He likes “showtunes”? He must be gay!!!

The jocks want to beat him up because he was singing a ’show tune’?

Which of course, raises the question, How do the jocks know its a show tune?
Mary Worthless
December 17th, 2009 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

whoa, hold on.. that’s no girl named Abby in Wilbur’s flashback, that is clearly Eve (Jan Brady) Plumb starring in “Dawn, Portrait of a Teenage Runaway”
Comrade Denny
December 17th, 2009 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

RxMD: I’m beginning to think Sarah is just a head resting on a pillow, as if Orpheus’s head and Marie Antoinette’s head got together and had a baby head.
DavidF
December 17th, 2009 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

If that’s supposed to be the exterior, I believe the second panel in Dick Tracy might be a reference to the Culture and Congress Center in Lucerne, Switzerland.
Naked Bunny with a Whip
December 17th, 2009 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

I don’t wear pants, either, but unlike Ziggy, I at least have the decency to be anatomically correct. For, y’know, a bipedal talking rabbit.
zerowolf
December 17th, 2009 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

RMMD: With Sarah’s determination to “help” I can’t stop but wonder if this is really Mary Worth: The Early Years.
Mardou Fox
December 17th, 2009 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

MW: I love that Wilbur is thinking, “Yes, she was…. Abby.” What does that mean? They are have been chatting about Abby. Would there have been a reason he might have said “Yes, she was…. Dorothy.” Or “Yes, she was…. Zelda.” I don’t quite get it.
zerowolf
December 17th, 2009 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

MW: There is no way this kid is Wilbur’s son. Wilbur can remember college in the 70’s, hence he wasn’t there.
Saluki
December 17th, 2009 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

I can only guess as to what Beetle and the rest of his pals at that lean, mean, fighting machine, that is Camp Swampy are watching. It’s probably “Madonna’s so you want to be a back up dancer”, “I’m on Oprah – get me out of here”, or “The Iron Chief”.

Join the army and see the Hi-Def television.
yellojkt
December 17th, 2009 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

Pervy dads hitting on teenage babysitters always remind me of The World According To Garp which always reminds me of Garp’s wife chomping down on her boyfriend while giving him a hummer in the car which always makes me feel overly protective of my crotch. I know, I should get a better fantasy life. Or sue John Irving for ruining the ’seducing the babysitter’ fetish for me forever.
Muffaroo
December 17th, 2009 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

jumped!

AD – The characters see only what we see, and only from our perspective.

THAT IS THE LAW.

Family – “Something’s wrong! This candle doesn’t smell like Mommy’s menacing pelvis!”

Luann – Oh boy! Romance advice from a Magic Granny!

Mark – “Jail?” “Thieves?” “County?” This week, Mark Trail takes on the burning issue of echolalia! “Jack Elrod?”

Marmaduke – “Marmaduke! Stop it, you stupid shit!”

Mary – Wilbur’s starting to have Abby flashbacks. Let’s hope he closes the curtains for the next fifteen minutes.

Phantom – Inset: the “HMS Hapless,” the first ship commanded by a Walker. Collect the whole series of 250! edited to add: Consider this a supplement to formerly Ben @y197!

Zits – Santa’s powers are more limited than you can imagine, Walt. Here, have a black candy cane and go watch scrambled cable porn.
Jamus The Bartender
December 17th, 2009 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

Ziggy: Okay, Cassandra Cat didn’t wear pants on Sunday, and, of course , the fans stood up and took notice. Not a one of them suggested she put on some trousers.
Including me.
Jamus The Bartender
December 17th, 2009 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

DtM: Yeah, saw this movie once, or something like it, and Ron Jeremy was giving a little something extra to the babysitter, if you know what I mean…
Mardou Fox
December 17th, 2009 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

Camp Swampy reminds me of this movie I recently saw called “Between Heaven and Hell.” It featured Broderick Crawford as a crazy CO in WWII who hit on the cute boys who had to serve under him. Considering it was made in the 1950s, the obvious homoerotic elements of the story were pretty surprising.

Broderick Crawford as “Sarge.”
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 17th, 2009 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

50 yellojkt: I remember huddling in the school library with a bunch of other 9th-grade girls, one of whom had a copy of Garp, and all of us reading just that scene, and all going “EWWWWWWW!” (And I think it was the oral sex, not the resultant chomping, that grossed us out so much—more innocent times for 9th-grade girls back then.)
Mardou Fox
December 17th, 2009 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

DtM: Yeah, couldn’t figure out if Henry was telling Dennis to hit on the babysitter, or telling him not to “blow it” because Henry was hoping to put the moves on her later, but either way, realllllly creepy vibe here.
Jamus The Bartender
December 17th, 2009 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

9CL: Dammit, when I see a WW2 story, there had better be some shootin’ and killin’ with a quickness. Even The Sound Of Music had more action than this.
FOOB: I’m thinking you should’ve stayed elsewhere, Phil. Here you are, leading a creative lifestyle which gives you joy, so naturally, Elly is gonna stop at nothing to change it.
Spider-Man: OOO….middle panel. Dr. Orpheus from Venture Brothers…..http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr_Orpheus
Sally Forth: It’s Christmas, Sally. Kids like Ted and Hilary are always reeeallly goood Dec 1 through 24. After the 26th, it’s business as usual…
My Cage: I actually teared up a little at this one. Norm and Bridget are good people.
Ed Dravecky
December 17th, 2009 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

Mars @17: LeDoux retired from Judge Parker in 2006 as he was turning 80. He’s still alive and doing well, although I note that his appearance at the Dallas Comic Con next month is limited to just two hours on Saturday. When I’m 83, I can only hope for as much.
Steve L
December 17th, 2009 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

I’m sorry, but it appears to me that Henry has hired his son a prostitute.
Sequitur
December 17th, 2009 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

MW: Anyone wondering what Wilber looked like years ago? I took the picture of Wilber in the second panel of today’s strip and youthed him up a bit. He does not have glasses and has become very punchable for Mark Trail.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 17th, 2009 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

60 Sequitur: Gah! It IS a weirdly older Rusty!

Where are those spirits of yours?……
Somnolent Aphid
December 17th, 2009 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

Has no one else noticed that Abby has man hands and and Adam’s apple?
seismic-2
December 17th, 2009 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

DtM: Dennis might be more inclined to take sage advice on relationships with the opposite sex were it not coming from a man wearing a sports jacket made out of a cut-off bathrobe.

MW: Wilbur’s expression as he gazes into his flashback is not one of nostalgia or romance or even lust, as he thinks about his former lover. Instead, it is anger, resentment, and jealousy, as he remembers how she used to taunt and ridicule him by running her fingers through her long, luxurious hair.
seismic-2
December 17th, 2009 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

Be careful what you wish for. If Ziggy starts wearing pants, maybe Marvin will stop wearing diapers.
Steve S
December 17th, 2009 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

Hmm, Abby looks pretty much identical to Toby. Given the similarity of name, either it’s a false identity or a twin sister. Either way, I say Mary Worth is at least as disturbing as Dennis the Menace, and twice as menacing.
Sequitur
December 17th, 2009 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

Hooray for Pastis. He may have begun to get pants on Ziggy. Now, when we start seeing pants on Pastis’ characters?
Miss Othmar
December 17th, 2009 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

#39 Hal Jordan — Thank you, Linus is a sweet boy and it was nice of him to mention me yesterday. I was surprised, though — I thought for sure that Peanuts would run a Schroeder strip on Beethoven’s birthday….
Alan's Addiction
December 17th, 2009 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

I found today’s “Dennis the Menace” so bland that I was actually wondering about young Dennis’s posture. We frequently see him in that weird, slouching, spine-at-45-degrees-from-the-floor posture that Dennis exhibits in the second panel; I can’t help but think of a shaved monkey being trained to pass for human. And that would actually increase the possibility of menace, as “Bright Eyes” the Menace might beat people or throw his feces at passerby, which would be the most menacing behavior we’ve seen in the comics page (or off the comics page, for those in the suburbs).
Wilbur’s facial expression in “Mary Worth” doesn’t show “Fond reminiscing” so much as, “Hey! Who took my keys?!” Perhaps Wilbur’s wondering why his memories are monochromatic.
Speaking of black and white, what’s with that weird skunk-patterned hair on the henchman in “Dick Tracy?” I’d be more curious, but I’m slightly angered by the fact that the first documented case of parental abuse I’ve seen in “DT” is being delivered not by the titular character (as I’d always assumed it would be), but by a third-rate gang of musician-crooks.
I think putting pants on Ziggy is like rearranging the deck furniture on the Titanic. It’ll be an improvement, but the strip’s central character will still be obnoxious, unlikeable, and unfunny, and now he’ll somehow be even more androgynous. At the current rate of increased de-characterization, I predict that by 2023, Ziggy will be portrayed as some sort of pink-ish blob that we’re supposed to pretend is a person.
Crankenstank
December 17th, 2009 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

I wonder whether Wilbur’s unseen email correspondent could pass a Turing test. I suspect an auto-bot playing with his emotions, quite possibly the ALGU-3000 on a research project, trying to find out what constitutes tragedy (and therefore possible comic fodder). We will likely see this soon in Archie: “Hey, Jughead, I hear your mother’s on Facebook now….in FARMVILLE!”
ElkMeadow
December 17th, 2009 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

#65 Steve S I noticed the same thing. I’d wonder if Abby is Toby’s mom, but there’s that thing about how old is Toby, and yet it could be that Wilbur’s love child is living down the hallway from him. Heck, with the annonymous internet, Kurt could be living upstairs. Any number of Charterstone…no, that way madness lies.

#66 Sequitur I was wondering the same thing.
Sequitur
December 17th, 2009 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

Dang, I miss bats [: Now I have to make my own Mark Trail story line. But it just ain’t bats [:
Joe Blevins
December 17th, 2009 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

Z: Judging by the eyelines here, Ziggy and his editor appear to be “interacting” through a rather clumsy bluescreen effect. Perhaps each character recorded his half of the scene seperately months apart in different cities. Ziggy’s director apparently told him to imagine he’s taking the most suicide-inducing eye exam ever.

DTM/MW: In a sterling example of comics synchronicity, both Alice Mitchell and Wilbur Weston are both cocking their left eyebrows disapprovingly at filthy, filthy whores today.
Joe Blevins
December 18th, 2009 at 12:02 am [Reply]

Meanwhile in Dick Tracy:

You know what this situation needs? The ~~insufferable meddling~~ gentile guidance of Mary Worth. Remember how Mary helped that lady whose overbearing father was pushing her to succeed in figure skating? Oh, wait, now that I think of it Mary, just made the situation worse, declared victory, and beat a hasty retreat. This situation can only be solved with mass carnage on a Ragnarok scale. Bring it on, Dick!
mollificent
December 18th, 2009 at 12:04 am [Reply]

MW: Wilbur looks like he’s thinking, “Stupid sexy Flanders–I mean, Abby.”

Dick Tracy: Hahaha, Josh, awesome DT comment today. Since I am intimately familiar with the violin/fiddle dichotomy (selling folk instruments for a living as I do), I can attest to the rivalry…which is pretty silly, because unlike folk harps/pedal harps, violins/fiddles are essentially EXACTLY THE SAME INSTRUMENT. I’ve started referring to the dilemma as “Schrodinger’s Fiddle”…the instrument is in an indeterminate quantum state until someone picks it up and plays a tune on it, either classical or folk, and thus collapses the waveform and determines its violin/fiddle nature.

Shut up Molly.
mr 12 oz can
December 18th, 2009 at 12:07 am [Reply]

#55 i never read world according to garp but i always have my hand ready just in case if a revenge plot is going down , as for wilber who moved his computer yet again maybe he was just thinking about a girl at a jefferson airplane he saw years ago . if you go to san francisco make sure you wear flowers in your hair and bring a hoagie
Comrade Denny
December 18th, 2009 at 12:10 am [Reply]

#53 – Jamus: When you wrote, “Ron Jeremy,” for some reason I read, “Jeremy Irons,” and I thought, EWWWWW. But then I thought, Lolita!, and I thought OOOOOOH! And then I though, Lolita?!? EWWWWWW! And then I decided to start rereading Lolita, and I thought, OOOOOOH!
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 18th, 2009 at 12:11 am [Reply]

75 mr 12 oz can: Uh…. lots of chicks out there waiting to enact that kind of revenge on you?
Comrade Denny
December 18th, 2009 at 12:13 am [Reply]

#69 – Crankenstank: Why would the Autobots be toying with Wilbur’s emotions? Could there be vast reserves of Energon beneath Charterstone? Is Mary a Decepticon?
Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
December 18th, 2009 at 12:18 am [Reply]

What song do you think Wilbur would have used to get his lovely lady to succumb to his charms? I’m thinking something by Starlight Vocal Band or maybe Beverly Bremers. Then again, maybe she was a Deep Purple type o’ chick.
Farley's Revenge
December 18th, 2009 at 12:19 am [Reply]

Thinking of the fiddle/violin debate: On one episode of TV’s “The Odd Couple”, Roy Clark guest-starred. Part of the story had to do with how Felix looked down on Clark, a mere fiddler(said with much Tony Randall distaste). At one point, Clark takes out his fiddle, says to Felix “This is a fiddle” and proceeded to play “The Orange Blossom Special”, IIRC. He stopped, said “This is a violin” and played a bit from a classical piece.

I thought that was a great way to get across the point that the fiddle/violin label depends entirely on the music being played.
Anna Nimity of the Jungle Patrol
December 18th, 2009 at 12:20 am [Reply]

Josh, that’s not a pearl necklace, those are LOVE BEADS for pete’s sake! What are you, young or something?!
Farley's Revenge
December 18th, 2009 at 12:21 am [Reply]

#11It\’s time to pay the price: Gosh, I hope not. If it was, we might have to up Baka Gaijin’s meds again.
Farley's Revenge
December 18th, 2009 at 12:23 am [Reply]

#79Dingo: Or, perhaps the Bellamy Bros. “If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body Would You Hold It Against Me”. Abby, being stoned out of her head, got all confused and Wilbur saw his chance and the rest is history. Thank God.
Nekrotzar
December 18th, 2009 at 12:25 am [Reply]

#16, #Y258 –
I came across this line

I had a Led Zep T-shirt and [my Mom] shrunk it in the wash on purpose.

And I thought — my mother did that to me! Twice!

#24 I have ordered this for my wife for the holidays.
sugarpie
December 18th, 2009 at 12:27 am [Reply]

MWorth I’m seeing this particular story as Moy and Giella’s riff on ‘A Christmas Carol,’ with Abby as the carefree, wanton ghost of Christmas long past. Cristmas present? Why, that mayonnaise on white bread sandwich, representing the unfulfilled promise of a mispent youth.

Christmas future? Oh! Dark are the days of Wilbur’s Christmas’ to come! His impacted colon removed, Wilbur spends the long winters alone in his bleak Chaterstone condo, checking for leaks in his colostomy bag and tormented by Mary, who tempts him with the steaming plattters of red and green salmon squares that he no longer dare taste. The salad days of Wilbur’s dwindling life are but a dim memory, if only… if only he had acknowledged Abby’s son as his own. Too late Wilbur, way too late. All that awaits him now is an unmarked grave and the bitter knowledge that his daughter Dawn will continue to cash his Social Security checks once he has vanished from this mortal plane.
ElkMeadow
December 18th, 2009 at 12:36 am [Reply]

Hey Kurt!

While you’re whining about not knowing your dad, you might read this, which I found at a news station’s message box. Maybe your mom is dead, and leaving you with a few questions, but you’re far, far better off than this guy:

LOST FATHER
by samcook17 (Subscribe)
Posted on: Oct 24, 2008 at 8:00 AM MST
Channel: On the Scene
Location: Cheyenne,wyoming
Tags:LOST SON…NEED TO FIND FATHER
My name is samual cook…im 17 and from nashville,tn. All my life ive been searching for my father, i try everyday and think about it none stop. Ive been in and out of foster care, moms been in prison, and my family is no more. I need my father more than anything right now…growing up without father is to hard i need to know why he left and were he is…i have no idea where to start to look for him…please aanyone if you can help please call13072875053…thank you
ElkMeadow
December 18th, 2009 at 12:37 am [Reply]

Here’s the news site link:

http://www.kidk.com/younews/33217289.html
NoahSnark
December 18th, 2009 at 12:38 am [Reply]

While other comic strips were complaining about Ziggy’s lack of pants, Mary Worth was ordering video tapes and a case of chardonnay.
Sequitur
December 18th, 2009 at 12:39 am [Reply]

79. Dingo
Afternoon Delight.
ElkMeadow
December 18th, 2009 at 12:45 am [Reply]

#81 Anna Nimity of the Jungle Patrol

Love beads were made of a variety of large and small seeds from who knows where, and were on long strands, the better to hand down between the boobs or over them or around them. The best hung down to the belly button and swung while the girl was walking, sitting, breathing, etc. Sort of a fertility symbol. They were really groovy.

I was wondering if Abby was wearing Hawaian puka shells, which came after love beads, but even those would have not looked like pearls.
Poteet
December 18th, 2009 at 12:56 am [Reply]

# 89 Sequitur — I think (and I believe Fashion Police has tentatively agreed, right, FP?) that Abby’s getup indicates that she was probably being headstrong, wild, and free in the early Seventies. Afternoon Delight did not assault the airwaves until 1976. I semi-reluctantly vote for Bread.

I wore a vest like that, with much longer fringe. I wore a belt like that too. And a similar blouse. And love beads. (No, Josh, that is not a pearl necklace.) But at least I didn’t look like Adrian or Toby, I swear.
Poteet
December 18th, 2009 at 1:00 am [Reply]

# 90 Elk Meadow — You are right about love beads. I own a string of them bought in the hippie district of Detroit two nights before the major riots began, and they fit your description exactly. But I still vote for some kind of love-bead-type creation for Abby because I cannot imagine that a headstrong, wild, free spirit of that era would wear a pearl necklace with an outfit like that.
Aviatrix
December 18th, 2009 at 1:04 am [Reply]

Sequitur @21 – That’s glorious, but I’m afraid I’m still waiting for Dingo’s continuation from yesterthread.

Also, on account of you people, I was forced to find more information on Deliverance on the Internet.
Sequitur
December 18th, 2009 at 1:14 am [Reply]

91. Poteet
I know that Afternoon Delight come out in the mid-70s but I figured that any chick that Wilber had would be behind the times. Oh, god. I just had a thought of disco Wilber (ACK!)
Actually, I hate Afternroon Delight. Back in the early 90s I worked in a Audio/Video production company. I was director of the audio studio. We had a client come in one day who wanted Afternoon Delight played continuously on a 2-hour cassette tape. All my technicians were out on assignment that day so, you guess it, ol’ Sequetur had to produce the tape. Can you imagine what it’s like to listen to that song over and over again for 2 hours?! I needed a very stiff drink when that job was over.
sugarpie
December 18th, 2009 at 1:23 am [Reply]

And yeah 71 Sequitur , what the heck has happened to bats:[ ? Not gone the way of Aerosquid, I hope.
Poteet
December 18th, 2009 at 1:23 am [Reply]

12/18

MT — Andy wouldn’t have gotten into this kind of mess.

MW — Geez, is that the only flashback we’re going to get?? Now I’m reduced to counting Wilbur’s comboever hairs to see if they’re multiplying.

PHANTOM — “And it sure is handy that I could dump my children on someone else for a year or so. Just in case I meet a hot new babe who offers to help me survive.”

S-M — Who would have guessed that real sand would have a much higher IQ?
Strangefate
December 18th, 2009 at 1:23 am [Reply]

So…in Dick Tracy are father and son having their argument from inside a kitchen cabinet? That’s seemingly the only explanation for that interior shot and the placement of the word balloon within it.
ElkMeadow
December 18th, 2009 at 1:23 am [Reply]

#92 Poteet:

You never would have worn pearls with an outfit like that, I sure never did, but this is Mary Worth’s world we’re talking about.

A headstrong, wild, free spirit of that world would wear a pearl necklace with an outfit like that. She might have even worn a polyester double-knit pair of pants to complete her outfit.
Poteet
December 18th, 2009 at 1:28 am [Reply]

# 94 Sequitur — Yes, you could be right. I’d rather see Hippie Wilbur than Disco Wilbur, but at this point, I’d settle for any outfit that would get us back to the past and away from the damn computer and sandwiches.

Two hours of Afternoon Delight. That deserves serious cosmic recompense. And oh gawd, now I hear it in my head.
Poteet
December 18th, 2009 at 1:30 am [Reply]

# 98 ElkMeadow — Great. Now I’m envisioning polyester pants and high heels, plus a girdle.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 18th, 2009 at 1:32 am [Reply]

85 sugarpie: sniff…. What a beautiful story….

As for Wilbur’s “please please please have sex with me” songs: maybe this? , or or this? or this?
Fashion Police
December 18th, 2009 at 1:33 am [Reply]

91, Poteet:
Yes, early Seventies, definitely. Our vote for the musical background goes to John Denver, who recorded several songs by Mr. Bill Danoff, who later wrote and performed “Afternoon Delight.”

We are quite curious about the rest of Miss Evans’ outfit. Bell-bottom jeans would seem the most in character with the era.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 18th, 2009 at 1:36 am [Reply]

Hey—WashPost comics poll, for “best comic of the decade”:
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/comic-riffs/2009/12/best_comic_of_the_decade.html
Aviatrix
December 18th, 2009 at 1:38 am [Reply]

Fashion Police @102 – You don’t think she’s pulling a Ziggy?
Farley's Revenge
December 18th, 2009 at 1:40 am [Reply]

One 4th of July, when we were overseas, had a fireworks display. When the base newscast showed the fireworks, the played the chorus from “Afternoon Delight”(“Skyrockets in flight! Afternoon deliiiight!”). The spouse and I looked at each other and just about fell down, howling with laughter. Someone at the station had not paid attention to the lyrics and just used the song for the line from the chorus.
ElkMeadow
December 18th, 2009 at 1:40 am [Reply]

*time tripping back to the past*

Now, what did I wear?

I wore that style of belt in the early ’70’s, with hip huggers. I never wore anything that had those big ruffles at the cuffs–mine were gathered at the wrist, sometimes into a long cuff. No big ruffles like that on the neck, either.

Blouses were V-neck or U-neck and made of sheer fabric, which love beads would snag. The fringed vest was call a “hug”, and the fringe was long, the neckline low, and it was worn buttoned up without a blouse/shirt under it.

Pants were cords or denim, and were a bit hard to find (I sewed mine), as blue jeans for women had to wait for Gloria Vanderbuilt; otherwise it was whatever you could alter (using fishing line) from the teen boys/men’s clothing department.

Shoes were optional, but a good idea–better than ~~thongs~~ flip flops–to protect the feet from broken glass, dog poop and people stepping on them while waiting in line at the college bookstore,

Shoes were also great for making tracks to put a half mile or so between myself and the Wilburs that from time to time, infested my college campus.
Poteet
December 18th, 2009 at 1:42 am [Reply]

# 103 babe — Thanks! I’ll be very interested in the results. I’ll almost forgive you for inflicting three, yes, three earworms on us. It doesn’t matter that I can’t watch the YouTube versions — just seeing the titles *shudder* was enough.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 18th, 2009 at 1:43 am [Reply]

A3G: “Because I will, of course, burn it all down to collect the insurance money.”

MT: Sheriff Stogie is becoming my new favoritest character in this strip (at least until Andy reappears): “That’s a good one! What’d you do? Try to jack up the car on the sand? Because only a moron would do that!”

MW: Gosh—that looks nothing like any computer screen I’ve ever seen—or at least, not like any computer screen I’ve seen since 1983.

Meanwhile—I didn’t know that Wilbur was such a dick. “Please, Kurt, while you’re grieving, tell me all about the mother you just lost in order to satisfy my curiosity, while I give you nothing in return; I’ll just take it all in while I eat my sandwich.”
Poteet
December 18th, 2009 at 1:48 am [Reply]

# 106 ElkMeadow — Thanks, I’d forgotten about those really long cuffs. I wore Earth Shoes for awhile. And occasionally tie-dye, even after it fell out of fashion.
Poteet
December 18th, 2009 at 1:50 am [Reply]

bats:[, we miss you!
Sequitur
December 18th, 2009 at 1:52 am [Reply]

You know, I’m thinking Rusty will be okay. He’ll be getting an education watching some hot crab on crab action and seeing what pelicans smoke after sex. Seeing how a small dog can lick their privates. And then he’ll…Oh gawd. Brain is going into crazy drive. It’s time for bed ya’ll.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 18th, 2009 at 1:54 am [Reply]

111 Sequitur: Geez—that sounds like a Sunday Mark Trail strip, with Dingo as the guest narrator.

Yes, definitely time for sleep!
Farley's Revenge
December 18th, 2009 at 2:03 am [Reply]

I think Abby is wearing one of those puka shell chokers. I remember those were a rather popular alternative to the love beads and peace sign pendants.
Mary Kay Commando
December 18th, 2009 at 2:04 am [Reply]

OK, FW’s current non-starter storyline has lured me out of lurking (plus, you all know what I look like anyway). It’s not the unsubtle “those gays and their musical theater!” insinuation that’s infuriating me, though, it’s the dang choice of musical. Oklahoma is not cool, dude. Even with the drama kids.

Then again, I got to think of Hugh Jackman as Curly whilst Who-the-Hell-New-One-Note-Character was warbling. That was pleasant.
Farley's Revenge
December 18th, 2009 at 2:05 am [Reply]

RMMD: Why was the urchin so worried about the dog if it was being dog-sat? How is she going to help Brook? Teach her how to fold her underwear so it will fit in her tote bag better?
Fashion Police
December 18th, 2009 at 2:14 am [Reply]

y249, Sequitur; 104 Aviatrix:
Frankly, we see Ziggy as a hapless medieval peasant, lost in time. As such he would have no idea what ‘pants’ are. The tunic is all he would know.

We are more concerned that he seems to have no knees.
Poteet
December 18th, 2009 at 2:18 am [Reply]

12/18 GA — Thanks, Santa, or whoever you are. Rufus is a dolt, but I like Kitty.
cheech wizard
December 18th, 2009 at 2:19 am [Reply]

DtM – Actually, I think Mr. Mitchell is whispering to Dennis where the liquor is. Just like a cat dragging home a crippled mouse to its brood, he’s teaching Dennis how to score, so that he can someday wind up with someone as hot as Alice.
Poteet
December 18th, 2009 at 2:22 am [Reply]

# 115 Farley’s — Sarah is June’s daughter. I thought her sinister “Don’t worry about Brook — I’ll help her” indicated that she intends to poison Brook in such a way that Mommy won’t have to take the rap.
KarMann
December 18th, 2009 at 2:34 am [Reply]

12/18:
Groovy Blinkerlegume: Right, the whole school has absolutely nothing else to talk about but this kid singing showtunes. Not even cancer or other illnesses, or the production of Wit (whatever happened to that, anyway?), or the veteran waving the gun around in the schoolyard (whatever happened to that, anyway? Oh yeah, it’s called WRITING!). No wonder he’s in the drama department.
S-M: Yes! More like this, please!
Ziggy: Is Wilson really going to follow through on this after all? Could it be? Oh, there really is a Santa Claus!!
Baka Gaijin
December 18th, 2009 at 2:58 am [Reply]

#11 It\’s time to pay the price: I don’t like where you’re trying to take this storyline.

#82 Farley’s Revenge: Thanks for looking out for me.

#108 bourbon babe, unbuckled on A3G: Damnnit, woman, you stole my snark!

Rose is Rose: Jimbo’s manic meth high almost turned hilarious. Having Pasquale flung over his shoulder into a massive snowbank, ass hanging out a la Mother Goose and Grimm? Yeah, comic gold.

Sally Forth: Ted, you just lost precious man points. To regain them, next time you hold your hands like that make sure there’s a luscious boob between them. You’re not limited to your wife’s titties. Follow your inner Tiger ~~Woods~~.

Mary Worth: Wilbur is amazing. He’s using a keyboard from a McDonalds cash register from 1986.

Mutts: Cats have agendas? I didn’t think they were so organized.

One Big Happy: Full of win. Oh, ha ha ha!
benro
December 18th, 2009 at 3:02 am [Reply]

MW – This is too creepy. I myself had a brief relationship with a blonde woman named Abby over 20 years ago (which may have also involved unprotected sex), and I have recently attempted to locate her on Facebook, without success (no doubt to the delight of my spouse). She actually strongly resembled the image in Wilbur’s thought-cloud, if you were to exclude the hideous face.
Hobbes Fan
December 18th, 2009 at 3:07 am [Reply]

ReFOOB: What is it with this woman and drawing her children as miniature circus clowns?

FW: Graying Widowstealer is smirking because it’s so rare for him to have customers in his store on a non-Wednesday and he plans to milk them for every penny they’ve got.

GT: “You? Toby Keith?!?”

MT: “I’m sorry, Rusty, I tried to get them to go back for you, but my flailing only seemed to excite them all the more.”
Mibbitmaker
December 18th, 2009 at 4:04 am [Reply]

12/18 MW:

NO! NO! BOOOOOOOO! C’mon, flashback! GIVE US A FURSHLUGGINER FLASHBACK!!
Mr. O'Malley
December 18th, 2009 at 5:03 am [Reply]

MT: So much for hopes for a noggin-thumping amnesia plotline. Mark’s brain injuries hardly slow him down … any slower than his usual pace.

Sheriff: “Well, you’re a mighty bold criminal. You must be one of those excitable Italic types. But let me underscore this, you’ll be wearing a small cap when you join the chain gang. Agate you where I want you. I’m the one who’s reading from the super script. We’ll have that iron ball shackled on to your foot, note what I say.”

MW: This is like watching Discovery Channel. One half panel flashback and then another week of emailing.

Abby’s seduction music:
I Don’t Know How to Love Him?
Torn Between Two Lovers?
Superstar?
Brand New Key?
Moonlight Feels Right
When I Need You Most of All?

Possible but less likely:
Haven’t We Met
You Never Even Call Me By My Name (Christmas version!)
Joy to the World
Tell Me Something Good
Sheila Sternwell
December 18th, 2009 at 5:55 am [Reply]

Ziggy: Never say comic strips aren’t educational. I learned today that Nehru jackets, like Ziggy’s pants, disappeared from popular culture sometime around 1967.

DT: The poor guy will never fit in with a rock band; real rockers laugh at long-hairs.

Phantom: Phantom, you are such a putz.
MrGuy
December 18th, 2009 at 6:39 am [Reply]

Pluggers: Pluggers remain in squalor even if it means the death of their polar-bear-man cousins.
mordock999
December 18th, 2009 at 6:42 am [Reply]

Today’s Luann – 12/18/09 –

Gunther — “Mrs. Horner? I’m Gunther, REMEMBER, Me???”

Mrs. Horner — “Why of course I remember you, George, Dear!”

Gunther — “NO, dogone it! GUNTHER! You know the guy that used keep you COMPANY, FETCH your medicines, and LISTENED to your EXCRUCIATINGLY LONG, BORING, stories of ‘Old Days’ gone by? THAT Gunther?!”

Mrs. Horner — “Oh My, my YES! NOW I REMEMBER you Gunther! How have you been? (Tee,Hee!) You know, I REMEMBER that you USED to have the Cutest Little CRUSH on our Dear Luann, whose NOW dating that Handsome Young Aaron Hill!”

Gunther — “His NAME is QUILL, Mrs. Horner, and I STILL have a CRUSH on Luann! THANKS for pushing HIM toward Luann and at the same time THROWING me UNDER the Bus!!”

Mrs. Horner — “Oh, dear…..,”

_________________________________________

DEATH to TJ!!!
seismic-2
December 18th, 2009 at 7:53 am [Reply]

Is Wilbur daydreaming of Abby, or ABBA?
One-eyed Wolfdog
December 18th, 2009 at 7:54 am [Reply]

MT: “A boy’s… uh… child’s… a young… er. Um. A probably-humanoid lifeform depends on it!”
Chronic Masturbatrix
December 18th, 2009 at 8:12 am [Reply]

Ziggy: Run over to Dumm Comics (Friday’s Kimbo, to be exact) to find out the horrible truth about cartoon characters without pants!

Funky Cancercancer: Are we being punished? Is this how Batiuk gets back at the world at large for mocking his bleak, depressing strips? ‘Cause it’s working. I’d actually relish another pointless storywad where Funky’s little bastard commits another crime, gets in trouble, and the strip abruptly switches over to an old man dying in his easy chair.

MT: “And of course, since I’m a stereotypical fat redneck sherrif, I won’t bother to send a deputy or an ambulance, because there’s absolutely no chance you could be telling the truth, which, if it WERE the truth, could make me responsible for the death of a…oh! Doughnuts are here!”

Shoe: Tell us, Roz, what do YOU bring to the table? Besides nagging and sagging?
Little Guy
December 18th, 2009 at 8:24 am [Reply]

MT: I’m waiting for Mark to be rescued by from the jail by a seaweed-covered Rusty zombie. Then the sheriff can see if he can hold his breath for a long time.

MW: F*ck Wilbur. Abby was HAWT!

JP: Leave him alone with his “Two Cousins, One Cell Phone” wet dream.
Lucky
December 18th, 2009 at 8:38 am [Reply]

Fred Basset – As did most people who have ever read this strip.

Mary Worth – Aw, crap. There goes the potential flashback and all we got was an uncomfortable close-up of Wilbur’s hands.

Pluggers – This “Top 10 Pluggers of 2009″ is a joke that writes itself. Yesterday it was distrust of librul guvmint, today it’s distrust of Al Gore and environazis. Tomorrow we’ll probably get to distrust of furriners. (Not to be read as Furryners, as those are the only people Pluggers trust.)

Spider-Man – Early Christmas present to all of us.

Ziggy – And another early Christmas present to all of us.
Spunde
December 18th, 2009 at 8:48 am [Reply]

The human brain is designed to form patterns and draw inferences, to extract information from what would otherwise be a meaningless jumble of sense data.

Thus I am forced to conclude that Tom Batiuk thinks “singing a show tune” is teen slang for “masturbating.”
Mardou Fox
December 18th, 2009 at 8:50 am [Reply]

Dang, I have a feeling the excitement in MT is going to deflate pretty quickly here. Sheriff McFattybald will eventually send someone over to the beach, find save Rusty, and release Mark. The Boring End. I hope I’m wrong about that! Chain gang chain gang chain gang please please please!!!

I like how in panel 2, Mark instinctively went into his “punch” pose. He couldn’t help himself, but that probably didn’t make a very good impression on Sheriff McFat. Except for, you know, the kind of good impression that’s like: “Heh, this one’s got a little spunk! This-here’s gonna be fun!”
Bryan
December 18th, 2009 at 8:59 am [Reply]

Funky Winkerbean: I don’t see why the school would give a damn about this kid singing a show tune. True, Oklahoma! is kind of dated, but the songs are fun. It’s not be Wit: The Musical so maybe that’s the problem.

Gil Thorp: Given that there are maybe four black people in all of Milford, two of whom are Valerie’s parents, what are the odds that this strip is going to break the interracial romance barrier?
Rob
December 18th, 2009 at 9:02 am [Reply]

OMG! They found ZIGGY’S PANTS!
Mardou Fox
December 18th, 2009 at 9:02 am [Reply]

#136: In GT, the new boy friend has gotta be the band geek! But given the drawing style in GT, I’m not sure if he he’s black or white or…..?
Tim
December 18th, 2009 at 9:11 am [Reply]

Something has gone horribly wrong in the world- Mark Trail’s bolding is reasonable today.
Lolsworth
December 18th, 2009 at 9:16 am [Reply]

Why does Michael Bolton turn into a fashionable minimalist retro-50s fitted kitchen in panel two?
AhClem
December 18th, 2009 at 9:20 am [Reply]

Regarding the violin/fiddle discussion, one of the fiddlers in our local old-time jam circle puts it this way: “A violin sings, while a fiddle dances.”

Of course, in DT, either one causes concussions and other bodily harm.
Écureuil Écumant
December 18th, 2009 at 9:31 am [Reply]

FW: What continues to irk me about this whole premise is that “Oh, What A Beautiful Morning” is written way down in the bass register like the guys’ tunes in Porgy and Bess. Unless the kid was singing it 1va it seems bogus to me that the jocks would hear it from around the corner and, er, peg the kid as a twink.

You don’t have to be built like a brick shithouse to hit those profundo notes either.
Nekrotzar
December 18th, 2009 at 9:33 am [Reply]

Maybe bats :[ is hard at work on a mash-up to end all mash-ups?
Mibbitmaker
December 18th, 2009 at 9:39 am [Reply]

9CL: Now, in 2009, the entire readership takes a dislike to her (not for the nazi thing, just for her personality)… and her daughter…… and her daughter…… and, of course, Thorax.

Ziggy: I don’t drink, but a champagne “cheers” anyway to Tom Wilson for a really cool follow-through! *CLINQ* ….and to Stephan Pastis, without whom it wouldn’t be possible! *CLINQ* Salud! (last part courtesy of Bill MacNeil)

A3G: Oh, Margo, you’re ALL heart! — No, wait….. Oh, Margo, you’re all Nancy DeGroot!

Crankshaft: Now I know where all Margo’s so-mean-she’s-fun went — Cranky’s borrowing it!

Curtis: For a kid, Curtis sure has an early-mid 20th century idea of fake Christmas trees.

DT: Ah, the other long-hair music form!

Dilbert: Wally’s spam filter oppresses women and offers al-Qaeda a base of operations when possible???

ReFOOB: That’s the cool thing about being an uncle — you don’t have to go through that 24/7/365.

FW: WHO CARES?!?

GT: Uh, Nelson Muntz, please…? “HA, ha!” Thanks, Nelson.

JP, last panel: It’s official! Barreto is sick and tired of square-jawed men.

MT’s Wild Ride: See, even Boss Hogg over there doesn’t believe this cockamamie storyline.

Marm Harm: “Gentlemutts — we attack at dawn!”

Phantom: Apparently.

RMMD: But June isn’t happy unless she’s actively pissed off at somebody, Rex; you know that!
queek
December 18th, 2009 at 9:43 am [Reply]

54: Matthew Broderick as Beetle?

DT: good lord, the kid wants to be Yngwie Malmstein.
britbike
December 18th, 2009 at 9:45 am [Reply]

I have a feeling FW is moving toward cashing in on the success of “Glee”. Someone knows a showtune! He can be our star! Oh, I hope I’m wrong. I can see it now–trying to get to Sectionals, everyone coming down with vocal cancer . . .
Sequitur
December 18th, 2009 at 10:09 am [Reply]

,b>112. bb,u

a Sunday Mark Trail strip, with Dingo as the guest narrator.

Now that would make the editiors stop thinking about Ziggy’s pants.

Yeah, I had a bit of my holiday spirits last night. Have you ever seen the movie Hatari!? There’s a scene where the guys all go out and get plastered one night. The next morning they’re all schlepping to the breakfast table not wanting to eat and just wanting coffee. Except the Red Buttons character who is chipper and eating and greeting everyone. The Red Buttons character is me this morning. Funny thing. If I have not had anything to drink the night before (which is the vast majority of the time) I’m groggy and out of sorts and not wanting to eat anything. I had a bowl of leftover spaghetti this morning.
But sometimes it’s kind of like this gal…
AmazingThor
December 18th, 2009 at 10:09 am [Reply]

GT: If tomorrow it’s revealed that her new boyfriend is Coach Kaz, I will be so very happy.
AmazingThor
December 18th, 2009 at 10:11 am [Reply]

A3G: “It’s all ashes to me!” Uh-oh. Someone’s planning on burning down the gallery for insurance money…
Mardou Fox
December 18th, 2009 at 10:15 am [Reply]

145: In the movie, Broderick Crawford was hitting on Robert Wagner. That didn’t get too far. Meanwhile he had a couple of other scantily-clad GIs lounging around his tent all the time.
One-eyed Wolfdog
December 18th, 2009 at 10:15 am [Reply]

“Sarge Absorber”. That’s all I’m going to say about that.
mr 12 oz can
December 18th, 2009 at 10:29 am [Reply]

i like how wilber cleared his desk to put the sandwichs there but now that hes finished a smalll book holder takes its place .what happen to the plant wilber ? shouldnt rusty have passed out from the pain by now and smothered in the sand or got sunstroke or crab lesions.
Sequitur
December 18th, 2009 at 10:49 am [Reply]

I just want to thank Rachel Wilson, age 8, for drawing a real rockin’ elephant!
tom
December 18th, 2009 at 11:25 am [Reply]

Wilbur as played by Dick Van Patten…..
BRWombat
December 18th, 2009 at 11:48 am [Reply]

Now, where have I seen the guy in panel one of Dick Tracy before?… Oh, yeah. Disney’s Tarzan.
Doreen
December 18th, 2009 at 11:50 am [Reply]

D’you suppose it was Wilbur who gave Abby that *ahem* pearl necklace??
Victor Von
December 18th, 2009 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

I had a different take on “Dennis the Menace.” I think Henry’s encouraging his six-year-old son to… engage his babysitter romantically.

As bad as it is for a father to be macking on the sitter, this is infinitely worse. And, admittedly, incredibly menacing.
Aviatrix
December 18th, 2009 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

Thanks, Sequitur, for pointing out the elephant. It is indeed a work of art.
leah
December 18th, 2009 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

Am I crazy? Isn’t “playing second fiddle” like a real expression? that means the same thing as “playing third seat in your philharmonic fiddle section?” but you know with less words and more artfulness?

The missed opportunity feels like when you have to sneeze but you get distracted and then you can’t sneeze anymore.
Aviatrix
December 18th, 2009 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

You’re not crazy leah.

I was thinking that the idea was that the son was long-windedly complaining that he was ranked BELOW second fiddle, but your interpretation suggests that Dick Tracy characters besides being so far in the past that classical is “long-haired music” also predate the expression “second fiddle” so have to construct an analogous one themselves. Yours is funnier, but this is Dick Tracy, so can it be right?
ViolaWoman
December 18th, 2009 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

Anonymous!

Boo! I am a switch-hitter, both violist and violinist… I prefer viola, much richer and resonant in my mind…

However, in keeping with the insane spirit of this DT strip, have you heard about the latest form of urban violence?

Give up? Drive by Viola Solos

(told to me by a conductor shortly before we performed Bernstein’s “Candide Overture”…. I nearly wet myself. Violas rock!
Nekrotzar
December 18th, 2009 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

#161 – So a man finds a really old beat-up Arabian style lamp, and when he rubs it, out comes an old haggard genie. The genie says, ‘I’m old and tired, so instead of the usual 3, I can only give you one wish’

So the man shows the genie a map and says, ‘This is the Middle East. The people there have been at war as long as anyone can remember. My wish is that they be able to live in peace.

The genie says, ‘I’m old and tired, my magic isn’t strong enough for such a wish. Ask for something simpler.

The man says, ‘In that case, my wish is, just once, to hear the viola section of the New York Philharmonic play in tune.’

The genie says, ‘Let me see those maps again.’

————————–

What’s the difference between the first and last chair of the viola section of the Vienna Philharmonic?

A semitone and half a measure.

————————-
OK, OK, I love Harold in Italy, Ligeti’s Viola Sonata, Bliss’s Viola Sonata, Piston’s Viola Concerto, etc., etc. But still, viola jokes rock!
ViolaWoman
December 19th, 2009 at 10:31 am [Reply]

LOL; good ones Nekrotzar!

As a long-time sufferer, er, I mean professional violist, I thought I had heard them all… Two very good ones; thanks!

By the way, my all time two favorite pieces to play: Walton’s Viola Concerto and Bela Bartok’s Viola Concerto. Serious rockage there.

Lemme go find some more bad Viola jokes…
Mr. Satanism
December 19th, 2009 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

Another day, another Ziggy pants gag? I think someone’s just killing time until he actually learns how to draw these pants.
SV
December 19th, 2009 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

Did nobody else catch the reference to “The Brown Bunny” in the Dennis the Menace strip? Chloe -> Chloe Sevigny and “blow it” to the infamous blowjob scene????
Thomas B.
December 20th, 2009 at 12:36 am [Reply]

MW

Look at the way Abby is running her fingers through her hair. It seems even Wilbur’s own black and white memories can’t resist reminding him about his hair loss. I guess next he will remember her working out, telling an amusing story, and limiting herself to a single sandwich.
Carly
December 20th, 2009 at 1:08 am [Reply]

Wilbur is so boring that he not only dreams in black and white, he daydreams in black and white.

Or else the colorists were told they were only allowed to use three total colors in today’s strip, and rather than picking red, blue, and yellow and mixing, they chose green, sorta fleshy, and sorta woody. The effect of this is that when one just glances quickly over the comics page, Abby looks like she’s some kind of statue.

And yes, I am now on my fourth paragraph about Mary Worth, which is probably three too many, but bear with me: what ended up happening with Wilbur’s daughter? I know he broke the “someone’s claiming to be your half-sibling on Facebook” news to her. Did she just go “oh, okay,” and wander off? Because I have to think that’s the most exciting thing that’s happened in her family, ever.
Thomas B.
December 20th, 2009 at 1:32 am [Reply]

MW

“My mother was headstrong and wild…a free spirit

That ellipsis caught my attention. As a freelance writer I am sure Josh knows that the ellipsis is used when you’re quoting material and you want to omit some words.

Okay, so what was Wilabby–my name for the offspring–omitting?

“My mother was headstrong and wild legally blind, easily amused, an expert sandwich maker and a free spirit.” [Ed's note]

Wilabby © 2009 Thomas B.
Thomas B.
December 20th, 2009 at 3:32 am [Reply]

MW

So, is Wilbur remembering Abby or a70s era feminine products commercial.
jessica tool
March 5th, 2010 at 3:12 am [Reply]

fantastic post..
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