The Comics Curmudgeon

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I yield three minutes to Senator BADASS

Mark Trail, 2/9/10

OH, SNAP! The physical assault has begun in Mark Trail, and, since I didn’t cheat by reading ahead with These Strange Worlds, I’m actually pretty shocked that the initial perpetrator is not Joe (or possibly Moe) Parker, but rather this distinguished-looking senator, who isn’t so distinguished that he can’t slap an angry lake-bully with his pimp hand when he gets his dander up. Now, um, maybe this is how elected officials ran constituent services back in the ’70s, but I rather think that this was a poor tactical move on the senator’s part. Surely Moe (or possibly Joe) will be on Fox and/or MSNBC (depending the senator’s political affiliation) in short order, dishing up dirt, and blogs will be falling over each other to come up with “heavy handed” puns. At least there aren’t any cameras around to put the YouTube clip into heavy rotation.

Family Circus, 2/9/10

Once again, you’ve underestimated your brother’s idiocy, Dolly, as he’s actually brushed his teeth with peanut butter. You can see that he’s trying to come up with some retort, but hasn’t been able to pry his jaws apart yet.

Hi and Lois, 2/9/10

I kind of like Lois’s stunned expression; it implies that Chip just let loose with a blues number expressing a deep, existential sadness, the sort of dark, powerful emotion that his mother never even imagined possible, let alone that it might reside in her teenage son. Trixie, as ever, can think of nothing but shitting herself.

Hagar the Horrible, 2/9/10

“That’s because, after days being left hanging here, my shoulders have been terribly dislocated and will never heal properly! I’ll won’t be able to move my arms comfortably again for as long as I live! Ha ha, torture, amiright?”

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 9, 2010 at 08:09 am and is filed under Family Circus, Hagar the Horrible, Hi and Lois, Mark Trail. |

239 responses to “I yield three minutes to Senator BADASS”

Allen
February 9th, 2010 at 8:18 am [Reply]

Man, being snowbound must have you up early!
Little Guy
February 9th, 2010 at 8:33 am [Reply]

MT: From the people who brought you the Fist O’Justice comes….The Bitchslap of Liberty!
shermy glamrocker
February 9th, 2010 at 8:44 am [Reply]

It’s hard to tell from the drawing, but did Sen. Badass deliver a bitch slap or a pimp slap. Because it really makes a difference. Either way, Joe and/or Moe Parker has been served!
Filthy Assistant
February 9th, 2010 at 8:48 am [Reply]

I think the mother of the Keane Kompound finally drank the Kool-Aid, leaving Dolly to be the mother figure for the other horrible misshapen children.
Filthy Assistant
February 9th, 2010 at 8:49 am [Reply]

@shermy glamrocker (#3): It’s a pimp slap, judging by the motion lines he used the back of his hand.
One-eyed Wolfdog
February 9th, 2010 at 8:52 am [Reply]

MC: Apparently, no comic was delivered for today, so they ran an ad for Lost instead.

H&L: “The blues is about pain and suffering. The kind of pain and suffering you get lounging around in a big-ass plush recliner with expensive toys you didn’t have to pay for.”
It's time to pay the price
February 9th, 2010 at 8:52 am [Reply]

I love how Jeffy is smugly shitting himself. “You think peanut butter is bad, bitch? We’re sharing a room tonight!”
Numbat
February 9th, 2010 at 8:54 am [Reply]

Luann I’m starting to believe that Brad is much more devious than he lets on. Not long ago we had him giving Gunther all sorts of advice about wooing Luann and now he’s giving Luann tips on how to engage in a kissfest with Quill. Is he trying to torture Gunther or just see if the puppy-eyed one will actually man up and grow a pair?

MT I do like how some ScreenBeans have been able to find some work as body doubles in panel 2. It’s time they did something other than insert themselves into Office documents in order to ‘liven’ them up. I do bet that Moe, or is it Joe, is wishing that they had been contracted to work in panel 3 as well.
Mela
February 9th, 2010 at 8:54 am [Reply]

Cleats: Kids, haven’t the last couple of years taught you that we should only get classic rock bands who run the risk of literally dying on stage lest one of those new-fangled artists upset the large Super Bowl audience of bluehairs?

Edge: “I wonder how I can prove this is the school’s fault so I can sue them…?”

ReFOOB: Elly is a martyr for both her musician-floozy brother and her unfit-single-mother-parent friend, part 4,589,475,215.

FW: I like to think that’s Wally’s list of demands. It begins with “Hire me, or I’ll burn down your house” and deteriorates from there.

GA: So any shmoe can ask for a new Army uniform? Sweet – I’ve got next year’s Halloween costume!

Luann: Somehow, Brad became an expert at getting dim-bulb teenaged girls to put out. Unfortunately for him, it only works on his mouthbreather of a sister.

MT: I’d vote for anyone who can pimp-slap like that.

My Cage: Hey, it’s my mom.

RWO: Also, red flag for everyone else.

Shylock: Mmmm-mm! Roofing tar cake!

Zits: Wait, did the phone wind up baked into the bread?
DMtShooter
February 9th, 2010 at 8:56 am [Reply]

Two, two, two HtH responses for the price of one…

1) Note the “in the snow” portion of the um, punchline. Other substances are still in play. What substances are left to the reader as an exercise. A grisly, grotesque exercise.

2) “White people, they get tortured like this. [Pantomime] And black people, they get tortured like this…”
OKStan
February 9th, 2010 at 9:01 am [Reply]

Why, oh WHY couldn’t there be a MT/FC crossover? “I smell peanut butter, Jeffy. I’m gonna SLAP it right out of your mouth!”
Eau de Plugger
February 9th, 2010 at 9:01 am [Reply]

It’s fantastic how the Senator has slapped a kicky new hair-do into existence on to MoeJoe. I half expect Mark to look over and say “Hey long hair, how about some fists!!!” Awesome.
skullcrusherjones
February 9th, 2010 at 9:12 am [Reply]

Chips strums on while Trixie’s diaper gently seeps.
skullcrusherjones
February 9th, 2010 at 9:15 am [Reply]

The Senator was simply trying to read the note he wrote on his palm on conflict resolution but without his reading glasses, he had to reach wayyy away from his face.

At least that is what Moe will tell the cops after he explains how he broke his arm “falling down the stairs.”
One-eyed Wolfdog
February 9th, 2010 at 9:22 am [Reply]

MT, Panel 2: “Judge Parker does gratuitous ass shots all the time, so why can’t I?”
Ethan Shuster
February 9th, 2010 at 9:28 am [Reply]

What makes the good Senator’s badassery even better is the smug, almost expressionless look on his face, as if to say, “I’ll smack a bitch and I won’t even care.”
Ethan Shuster
February 9th, 2010 at 9:29 am [Reply]

It’s also a possibility that that expression says, “The artist who draws me is not talented.”
One-eyed Wolfdog
February 9th, 2010 at 9:29 am [Reply]

Smiff: I really don’t believe that your local barter-based economy has been hit all that hard by the recession. What, did your tarpaper shack depreciate somehow?
Bryan
February 9th, 2010 at 9:30 am [Reply]

Mark Trail: My joke was, “It’s the honorable senior senator from the great state of KAPOW!!”

Rex Morgan, MD: Brooke in the last panel: In the place of a Dark Lord you would have a Queen! Not dark but beautiful and terrible as the Morn! Treacherous as the Seas! Stronger than the foundations of the Earth! All shall love Brooke and despair! I would very much like to meet June’s mother.

La Cucaracha: Oh, goodie! Alcaraz phones it in, again, for a week. 5 strips, 20 panels, 3 pieces of original art. Well, technically one piece as Alcaraz already has the “Cockroach looks dully at his computer” and “Cockroach looks wide-eyed at his computer” on file. Maybe Ibero-Indians hate this strip because it sucks.

Luann: Yes, there’s nothing I like more than working with actors who are more interested in flirting with each other than getting the damned job done. I’m betting there’s a hurled clipboard in the future.
Elmo
February 9th, 2010 at 9:47 am [Reply]

Let me see if I have this right. Mark Trail and Senator Satchel are in a canoe and the guys in the power boat want our heroes to go back to their fancy city. So if they’re such back-woodsie and all, have they modified their Evenruder outboard motors to run on moonshine?
Dragon of Life
February 9th, 2010 at 9:50 am [Reply]

Parker boy: “Now you and your friend here can pack up and go back to your fancy city and leave us alone!” Deer: “Hey, what the hell did I do?! Leave me out of this!”
queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
February 9th, 2010 at 10:00 am [Reply]

on my Dean Booth-O-Page, Mutts and My Cage were next to each other. Made for a nice pairing. Other than that, I got nothin’.
Mordock999
February 9th, 2010 at 10:02 am [Reply]

Today’s Luann – 02/09/10

Outside of the DeGroot House -

Nancy – “Why Hello, Gunther! Its been a Long time!”

Gunther – “Hello, Mrs. DeGroot. Is Luann in?”

Nancy – “I’m sorry, Gunther. Luann is out rehearsing with that Unbearably Handsome Young Quill! Isn’t he adorable? If you’d like to wait, she shoud be back around 5 AM.”

Gunther – “5 AM?!?”

Nancy – “Why yes, Gunther, dear. I always thought it was a bit silly to require teenagers to be home by 11PM, don’t you?”

Gunther – “Well, I…,”

Nancy – “I mean what can two Healthy, Sexually-Active Teenagers do AFTER 11PM, that they can’t do BRFORE 11PM. don’t you agree?”

Gunther – “I, umm…,”

Nancy – “Why back in MY day when I went out with a guy, I wouldn’t come home for weeks! They just don’t make teens like they used to!”

Gunther – “Well, ummm I GOT to go…,”

Nancy – “Wait, wait Gunther! I need you to DO me a favor!”

Gunther – “What is it, Mrs. DeGroot?”

Nancy – “Here’s fifty cents. I want to sneak over to Brad’s house and call me the minute that Evil Cradle-Robbing Strumpet from Hell , Toni Daytona shows up!” I MUST PROTECT my Precious baby-boy!”

Gunther – “Go JUMP in the Lake, Mrs. DeGroot. GOOD-by.”

Nancy – “Well! I NEVER! No WONDER that Lump doesn’t HAVE a girlfriend!”

___________________

DEATH to TJ!!!
gleeb
February 9th, 2010 at 10:04 am [Reply]

A little slap is supposed to impress me? As a citizen of Maryland, I have had the pleasure of voting for a candidate who admits having pistol-whipped a guy (cf. Kweisi Mfume, No Free Ride.) Admittedly, the pistol-whipping put me off, but I thought he ran rings around Cardin in the debate.

Rex: In that first panel, she’s like an angry ship’s figurehead. Toots better skate off before he gets a broadside.
McManx
February 9th, 2010 at 10:07 am [Reply]

Hi and Lois –
Oh, I got that burning,
Right down where I sit,
It’s all because I’m wallowing,
In my own shit;
I got the blues…,
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
Got the blues;
I got those really bitching,
Painful rectal itching,
Diaper rash blues…. Oh, yeah!
— Diaper Rash Blues, copyright 2010, Foofram Music Company

M Trail — Wow. Didn’t see that coming. I imagine Mark is equally impressed — “Gee, the Senator leveled that sideburns guy with just an open palm. I didn’t have time to even make a fist. I… I… must have sex with this man!”

Family Circus — Maybe it is an autoerotic response to Dolly’s abuse, but it looks like Jeffy is trying to conceal an erection.
queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
February 9th, 2010 at 10:08 am [Reply]

correction: I have squee!

for bats :[ and rats and turtle hats!
ElkMeadow
February 9th, 2010 at 10:10 am [Reply]

Han shot first, so I guess that the senator is in the same league.

Astronaut Buzz Aldrin did punch his after the jerk jabbed him in the chest.
Rose
February 9th, 2010 at 10:19 am [Reply]

HI AND LOIS:

I want to make this retort to Chip:

http://garfield.nfshost.com/1989/11/26/
Calico
February 9th, 2010 at 10:22 am [Reply]

I thought, that the Blues were also sort of about, y’know, having blue balls.
Which I think Chip would have around his age.

At least we don’t have to see Marvin thought-bubbling the blues due to untended crap in his diaper.
Calico
February 9th, 2010 at 10:25 am [Reply]

MT- let the bitch-slapping commence!
“Fancy city” – I think these guys have never been to Detroit, or Newark.
Or anywhere but (their side of) the lake.
Bootsy
February 9th, 2010 at 10:25 am [Reply]

All of a sudden, Senator Hatcher is bitch slapping Prince Valiant! I read both strips and I did not see that coming
tb4000
February 9th, 2010 at 10:28 am [Reply]

MT: This brother went to the John Edwards school of Senator-ing. “Everybody is my bitch, and God help them if they even think otherwise.”
Pozzo
February 9th, 2010 at 10:39 am [Reply]

Don’t bet against the YouTube clip yet. The Jackelrod ball sees and records all, just like those giant balls in “The Prisoner.”
Bootsy
February 9th, 2010 at 11:05 am [Reply]

bourbon babe, unbuckled, a few threads ago: Nope, the quiet here Monday morning was not from blankets of snow, but from being early morning in downtown New Orleans. The capering should recommence this afternoon, when there shall be a parade.
blammers66
February 9th, 2010 at 11:07 am [Reply]

Funkwit: Damn, I cannot beleive how self-centered and short-sighted that damn Funky can be by – hold it, wait a sec. He’s actually being proactive… doing something that might keep someone from hurting himself… making a positive difference in his world… um … did Batuik die or go on vacation? Or did I miss a panel somewhere yesterday that shows an earth-crushing asteroid aimed directly at Westview?
Mibbitmaker
February 9th, 2010 at 11:13 am [Reply]

A3G: How does it feel?? He’s unaware of her “upper hand”, her presence, and the contents of her unspoken thoughts! It doesn’t feel like anything!

NS: Dining and pomposity is so easy, even a caveman can do it. (Uh-oh, looks like I just pissed off a hairy guy who looks vaguely like SNL-era Joe Piscopo!)

Cranky: “This is a school bus. I am an asshole. You are a ‘pidgeon’…”

DT: If they’d pull back from all the damn close-ups, maybe he’d know what’s going on better!

Dilbert: Can you even say “lubricant cycle” to a woman in the workplace?

JP: And the luggage keeps on luggaging along…

MT: A slap? Really?? Step aside, sir, and let Mr. Trail from the great state of Lost Forrest show you how it’s done.

MC: Happiness….. or confusion?

S-M: Know where else there are too many superheroes swooping around? Comic books. (This comment could be read either as Norm MacDonald or Seth Meyer)

Zits: Ring tone: “Make it with you” from 1970.
TheDiva
February 9th, 2010 at 11:20 am [Reply]

C’shaft: Is it really a good idea to let the grumpy misanthrope who can barely string together a coherent sentence to handle training?

DT: Gotta hand it to the ambassador, he’s taking this whole thing very well. Must be some good booze at that party.

FW: Funky knows the slightest disappointment would be enough to send Wally into a homicidal rampage. He’s hoping to save himself by throwing Les and Crazy Harry in front of him once the bullets start flying.

Luann: This is squicky/Oh so squicky/This is squicky, and creepy, and wrong….

MW: Dawn’s turning evil! She’s even miming a Hitler mustache with her hand!
Chip Whittle
February 9th, 2010 at 11:26 am [Reply]

Apartment 3-G: Wait a second, look at the background. Is Bobbie being followed by Clark Kent? Is she the Earth-Margo version of Supergirl? Even if she’s not, I’m going to try reading the rest of this week pretending that she is and we’ll see if that helps.

I had honestly expected Gasoline Alley to have Skeezix’s search for a new uniform for the [*]National Army Museum speech result in his re-enlisting in the Army. In fact, I had made my peace with that.

[*] For the Ghost-Who-Tries-To-Avoid-The-Realtime-Aging-Thing.

Family Circus: Awww, Dolly is trying to hold Jeffy in the tight grip of a rage-fueled psychological terror! She really learned well from when Margo baby-sat. Unfortunately, Jeffy doesn’t have any idea what’s going on! He learned really well from Tommie.

Edge City: “Ipsum Lorem”? Ipsum Lorem? Never mind the kids, what are they teaching whoever writes this comic strip? Wait, who does write this comic strip? Houston Chronicle doesn’t print names and I can’t make out the signature. Are we sure the strip has an author and not just a Markov generator of mildly irritating personality quirks to be reshuffled for each week’s strips?
Hibbleton
February 9th, 2010 at 11:33 am [Reply]

Unless Abbey’s silverware is gonna come tumbling out of the luggage, this has been the most boring series of JP strips ever.
Calico
February 9th, 2010 at 11:38 am [Reply]

@Mibbitmaker (#36):
Ha, Bread joke – very nice!
Sucky song, for the most part, though.
Does Jeremy know Wilbur, by chance?
Perky Bird
February 9th, 2010 at 11:39 am [Reply]

Jeffy’s look says, “You should be glad you smelled my breath after I ate that peanut butter sandwich. You don’t even want to know what I had eaten earlier…”

By the way, I’m glad I’m on the float this week. With 27 inches of snow on the ground, and a foot more expected by tomorrow, I need to be up someplace high!
commodorejohn
February 9th, 2010 at 11:45 am [Reply]

A3G – Because “hey, what’s a babushka doing in New York?” is a lot less suspicion-arousing than “oh look, there’s a woman on the other side of the country who looks like my wife.”

DT – Wouldn’t you think that the event planner would have worked out the details of the setup with both groups beforehand? Unless…wait a minute, it’s obvious! Margo was the event planner!

FW – “Seriously, do you know how hard it is to find employees broken enough to take my abuse? Sure, he could snap at any moment and shoot up the restaurant, but he works cheap!”

GT – “Milford’s looking for a team with size?” What exactly is that dude staring down at?

Luann – No, actually he’s become a pathetic lump able to find excuses for doing what you’d really like to be doing while maintaining plausible deniability so that you don’t actually have to admit to wanting to do it. It’s not quite the same thing, but I could see how you would mistake it.

MT – I’d vote for him, if he promises to bring the brawling back into politics.

MW – What’s with the expressions? Is she getting high off the Internet?

Momma – Psst, Mary-Lou. Normally this is the kind of thing that only brats know, but I think you need it. It’s a powerful incantation that wields enormous power against people like your mother. You ought to think hard about where and when to apply it, but it’s a tool you’ll need. It’s called Power Word: Fuck You.

MC – Yeah, well, I’d say I’m still holding out for a Firefly revival, but Joss’d probably make it all Darker And Edgier and ruin it.

Phantom – Hmm.

RMMD – A superbly-executed doorway lunge, Brooke. But don’t go thinking you’re in the big leagues yet. That kind of stuff works on people like Toots, but all your rage would just bounce right off of June’s icy contempt. Tread carefully.

SF – I’m kind of unsettled by how subtly hot I find Flashback Sally. Were anime-style sailor-suits typical business attire in the ’80s?

WoI – Tell me The Wizard Of Id didn’t just decide to be Marmaduke.
bunivasal
February 9th, 2010 at 11:50 am [Reply]

Senator Snoop Doggy Dogg lays down the law, bitch!
Jonn
February 9th, 2010 at 11:54 am [Reply]

What, no “Joe the Poacher” joke?
Anonymous
February 9th, 2010 at 11:56 am [Reply]

That was clearly a karate chop.
Howland Al
February 9th, 2010 at 11:57 am [Reply]

My only experience with Gasoline Alley, up until about 8 minutes ago, came via the brilliant old MAD parody. (“He grew! He finally GREW!”)

So I was surprised, to say the least, to click Chip Whittle’s link above and discover that Skeezix and his lady friend/daughter/whatever appear to have leaped fully-formed from the brow of Charles Burns. Who knew? I bet El Borbah shows up within the week and stubs a cig out on the old fella’s grill.
Dan
February 9th, 2010 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

Has Luann considered the fact that Quill is a teenage boy, and will therefore probably be open to kisses that are not facilitated by a wacky Three’s Company-style scheme?

This is what happens when you take romantic advice from a man who thinks that waiting three years for a woman to literally fall on his head qualifies as having game.
Steve S
February 9th, 2010 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

Oh, I’m pretty sure Lois “Black Lipstick” Flagston knows all about horrible, inescapable despair. Look at her family, for God’s sake!
lurker_in_chief
February 9th, 2010 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

Is it just me or does Senator “Hatcher” bear more than a passing resemblance to the Stormin’ Mormon himself, Senator Orrin HATCH of Utah? Check out the resemblance yourself at http://bit.ly/bgiulH, where you’ll also note that Hatch describes himself in his youth as a “scrappy boxer [who] came to pack a jarring punch for a youngster his size.” Perhaps by “jarring punch” he means open-handed slap? We’ll never know.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
February 9th, 2010 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

MT: Well, hul-loh Senator Bitch-Slap!

JP: I never would have thought that a luggage-centric plot could be exciting. I still don’t think it.

FC: Dolly, sweetheart, you might want to try developing a “good personality.” Just sayin’.

GF: Next, Bucky describes the current action in Mary Worth.

A3G: Right, Bobbie, because a blonde of a certain age wandering around in a yellow kaffiyeh isn’t noticeable at all.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
February 9th, 2010 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

Yestercongrats to the Float Folk—very funny, and my shovel-addled brain missed a few the first time around.

@Poteet (#y10): Grammatica’s official response: That usage makes no fuckin’ sense.

@Dr. Weird (#y20): I’m not too knowledgeable about the whole super-hero thing, but Iron Man’s doing a pretty good upward-facing dog there; is yoga au courant in the Marvel world now?

@queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#26): aawwwww! I needed a good queeking this morning!

@Bootsy (#34): That’s what I figured—so, yes, a much better reason than ours. (The streets aren’t quiet today, though; they’re filled with crazy people driving madly about to strip the local supermarket shelves bare.)

@Perky Bird (#41): Can you give me a lift up if it gets too deep around here?
AtomicDog
February 9th, 2010 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

Curtis – Didn’t Michelle sprout breasts a couple of years ago? I haven’t seen them in quite a while.

I mean, if Billingsley is going to inflict us with this harpy’s presence, at least he could give us some fanservice.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
February 9th, 2010 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

MW: Gah! I just clicked on Mary Worth, and as I was reading it, I realized, to my horror, that I was in exactly the same position as Dawn, right down to the little index-finger moustache! What’s happening to me?!
Comcis Fan
February 9th, 2010 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

FC: Dolly’s abuse leaves Jeffy struggling not to wet his pants. This family is crying for an intervention.

MW: Dawn needs a self-restraining order.

BB: This is very disturbing, Sarge sending a recording of his squeaking chair to a subordinate who is reacting like a victim.

Ziggy: ’50s hat, ’70s humor, ’90s computer. A joke for the ages.
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 9th, 2010 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

MT: I foresee Mark leaving his job (haha) at the nature magazine (stop, you’re killing me) to become the good Senator’s reelection campaign manager, or at least press liaison.

HtH: Hagar and Lucky Eddie have apparently set foot in an oppressive kingdom that outlaws winter frolicking on pain of torture. Eddie is succumbing, and will probably give his interrogators a list of everyone he’s ever seen building a snowman.

JP: Nice to know we won’t miss a second of the exciting baggage-handling action. No Virginia, not even the donning of special caps.

MW: Dawn balls up her fists and suppresses a giggle while reading online about a guy who died in a plane crash. Somebody get this girl a spinoff, stat!

RMMD: Ah. For every sponge, there is a greater sponge sponging off them. If Brook really wants to find the money her deadbeat boyfriend borrowed, might I suggest searching his bouffant hairdo?

Luann: These two still have great chemistry. I can just imagine Brad offering to help Luann practice those tricky kiss-heavy scenes. Then, cue the banjo music.

SM: Spidey is not most people, and MJ’s little red suitcase hasn’t been packed in quite some time.

H&J: Not to nitpcik, but Herb just said Eula agreed. He didn’t say she agreed with him. Maybe her hair matches the couch. (No, not an innuendo.)

GA: He’s got a million of ‘em. And if you don’t go to armyhistory.org now, he’ll keep the comedy coming.

MC: Happiness makes you purple, and will last about another four months.

A3G: Bobbie whaserface, Mistress of Disguise. “That woman looks familiar. Could it be? No, she’s got a scarf on her head, and my wife doesn’t.”
Fashion Police
February 9th, 2010 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

Mrs. Merrill-Magee is one of those rare women whose lives would be much improved by adopting the burqa for daily wear. Miss Dawn Weston is another.
ladadog
February 9th, 2010 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

MW: Kudos to Dawn for her Snidely Whiplash impersonation. The idea of using her finger to replicate Snidely’s mustache is inspired – well, in Charterstone-world it is.
Spunde
February 9th, 2010 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

In the Senator’s defense — as if he needs defending — Bucky T. Deer will testify that, during the phase shifting that occurred in panel 2, Joe initiated physical contact. Them’s were fighting fingers poked in the Hon.’s collarbone.
James
February 9th, 2010 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

I know it might be asking a little much of whoever draws Wizard of Id, but it doesn’t take much research to know that four legged animal’s front legs don’t bend that way
James
February 9th, 2010 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

*animals’
LUJBEM FEJF
February 9th, 2010 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

MT- I think “Joe the Poacher” is scheduled to be on Larry King tonight. Then off to kill some moose with Sarah P. Then onto Israel to conduct some Parker Brother style peace conferences. Soon to be released, Joe the Poacher: Fighting for the American Dream.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
February 9th, 2010 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

@LUJBEM FEJF (#61): The American Dream that “Hey! You Can’t Come Over to Our End of the Lake and Touch Our Fish Unless We Say So!”? Yeah, that kind of works.
BigTed
February 9th, 2010 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

Let’s just hope Lois never figures out what those classic blues songs “60 Minute Man” and “My Pencil Won’t Write No More” are really about.
queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
February 9th, 2010 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#51): *blushes*

happy to oblige.
queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
February 9th, 2010 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

@BigTed (#63): There is a song entitled “The Constipation Blues” and it is exactly what it says on the tin. “Big Ten Inch (Record)” is another one that even Lois could figure out.
commodorejohn
February 9th, 2010 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

@lurker_in_chief (#49): I’d thought about that, but I couldn’t think of anything funny to say about it. Also, the Senator seems to have a very un-Mormon relationship.
Aviatrix
February 9th, 2010 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#42): In Canada the two sides of the legislative chamber are deliberately set at least two epee lengths apart to prevent sparring.

RMMD: Just when I was starting to believe Brook, it turns out that she wasn’t even living at home.
Buck Ripsnort
February 9th, 2010 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

FC: Jeffy’s pose indicates he brushed his teef w/ either ipecac or cod-liver oil. Either way, Dolly’s got a surprise waiting for her next time she puts on her snow hat.
Calico
February 9th, 2010 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

@LUJBEM FEJF (#61):
But, is Joe a patented Maverick?
*slinks off to cockpit for a while-I’m glad I’m not watching too many talking heads as of late, they ALL annoy me so, reagardless of stance*
Calico
February 9th, 2010 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

Regardless, I mean. See? Grrr…
WendellX
February 9th, 2010 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

Is this one of those weeks where the cartoonists trade strips? Because Family Circus is feeling awfully Lockhorns today.
Anonymous
February 9th, 2010 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

Spider-Man: Doesn’t Iron Man get cramps, flying around in Upward-facing Dog all the time?
Hogan
February 9th, 2010 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

FC: Man, how much do I love the way Jeffy cups his hands over his crotch when Dolly is mad at him? “Hit me in the face–not the jewels!”
Hank
February 9th, 2010 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

@AtomicDog (#52): Dude, Michelle is supposed to be about thirteen. Do you think you’re Pete Townshend or something?
Buck Ripsnort
February 9th, 2010 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

MW: Dawn tries to pick her nose and juuusssst misses.
Poteet
February 9th, 2010 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

FC — Jeffy is perfecting his passive-aggressive skills, having learned that the smell of peanut butter on supposedly-brushed teeth always drives Dolly mad with rage. He tries to pull this little game as often as possible — you can see it in his eyes.
Poteet
February 9th, 2010 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#51): Thank you, thank you. I needed that.
Jym the Wildlife Man
February 9th, 2010 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

=v= MT: As Josh mentioned a few days ago, Moe ‘n’ Joe are simply screaming in their elected official’s face, which is the preferred method of political discourse these days. At least amongst Fox News viewers. And today Senator Hatcher shows his fellow elected officials the best way to deal with Teabaggers. Bravo, I say!
Steve L
February 9th, 2010 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

Don’t you know a Judo Chop when you see one?
Fashion Police
February 9th, 2010 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

We adore dressing for dinner, although it is rather cumbersome unless one has servants. In that vein we have given some thought to Captain Savarna lately. We wonder if she packed her good clothes on the off-chance of entertaining spandex-clad boarders, or if she dines alone in formal splendor every night while her automated ship performs its various functions unattended, and who does the cooking and washing up?
commodorejohn
February 9th, 2010 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

@Fashion Police (#80): I like to think it’s the latter. She’s like Cmdr. Dr. Reinhardt from The Black Hole, only not evil.
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 9th, 2010 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

Oh, belated COTW congratulations. odinthor, I love your idea for a Swede/Norwegian doomed romance.
My comment I wasn’t expecting to see again. It’s kinda weird out of context.
gnome de blog
February 9th, 2010 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

I suspect our bitch-slapping lawmaker is a lowly state Senator, so he doesn’t have to worry too much about Fox, MSNBC or getting youtubed.

If he were U.S. Senator Badass he’d be traveling with beaters, bearers, and porters and this would be a fact-finding mission with press releases and photo ops.
Mibbitmaker
February 9th, 2010 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

HtH: They got imprisoned for snow-angel-making (just play along for the sake of the joke ;o))? Whose kingdom are they in, Burgermeister Meisterburger’s?

MT: NEWSFLASH: In a surprise turn, it appears that (J)(M)oe Parker knows the senator — this scene was part of their Slap Bet.

And this is actually an episode of How I Met Your Legislator.
mrc570
February 9th, 2010 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

A3G: When Bobbi says, “I have the upper hand this time, RAT! How does it feel?!” – I’m hoping for a PBS crossover! Obviously, her husband is Rat, not a rat.
Mibbitmaker
February 9th, 2010 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

MT: I’d be careful if I were you, Senator Hatch(er)! Moe and Joe Parker are tough customers involved in illegal activity — and they’re directly related to Darcy Parker.
Digger
February 9th, 2010 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

MT: At this point Mark is thinking “Wait a minute. I thought I had to wait for guys with facial hair to commit some crime before I hit them. But if a Senator can hit them right off the bat, then it’s got to be legal. Time for some pre-emptive punching! Whooooo!”
Mibbitmaker
February 9th, 2010 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

MT: I can’t wait to see an allegator show up and threaten those guys, killing one of them. Then, (M)(J)oe Parker can sing, “See ya later, legislator…”
Sister Sestina
February 9th, 2010 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

@Jym the Wildlife Man (#78): Seriously man, consider your “bravo” and what that implies. How long will it take before before Hank de-lurks again?
Anonymous
February 9th, 2010 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

The Senator is not slapping – he’s brushing the filthy hands of ‘Burns Parker off of his Senatorial Safari Shirt with his left hand (6 months in the hospital.) The cocked right hand (Death) will soon unleash its fury directly on those evil sideburns.
bats :[
February 9th, 2010 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

@queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#26): ” ” (ultrasonic squeeee! from the bebeh bat)…thanks!
CanuckDownSouth
February 9th, 2010 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

@Chip Whittle (#38):

re: Edge City actually, maybe that *is* a clue to a random-content-generator writer. Although I tend to favour the theory that it’s a misanthrope who saw FOOB and decided that the family was waaay too sweet, sane and endearing, and decided to do them right.
wossname
February 9th, 2010 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

Congrats to BigTed and all the funny folks on the float. Every week, I think I have read all the comments, but at COTW time I always discover I’ve missed a few gems.

JP – I’m telling you, all this luggage talk is leading to some plot twist. And I wish it would get on with it. (Too bad it’s not The Luggage from Discworld.)
Meanwhile, where are Neddy and Jules?

MT – At this point I would like to echo all the questions Poteet has raised since this story arc started about who owns the lake and who can order whom off of which portion of it, and by whose authority.
MaryAnnTheRest
February 9th, 2010 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

JP: Oh, man, for a day there I thought Sam might actually touch the luggage himself. Silly me.
gnome de blog
February 9th, 2010 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

@Digger (#87): Mark’s probably thinking it’s time to run for public office.
Muffaroo
February 9th, 2010 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

Crock – “So whatever you were going to do with your perfect mate you should go and do to yourself. Five cents, please.”

Marfield – Bladder? Don’t be silly. Little M intended that heart to look like a big red butt for his bowelentine.

Spidey – “MOST people would be home packing!” Hey, that’s not how the catch phrase goes! Quit ad libbing, bucket head!
The Mighty Captain E
February 9th, 2010 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

FC – This panel is another retred from the collection “Hello, Grandma!” (http://joshreads.com/?p=2372).
gnome de blog
February 9th, 2010 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

@wossname (#93) said:

MT – At this point I would like to echo all the questions Poteet has raised since this story arc started about who owns the lake and who can order whom off of which portion of it, and by whose authority.

I cringe to take issue with a super-heroine, but shouldn’t there be a question mark at the end of that sentence? (ducks for cover, wild-eyed and shivering)
TruthOfAngels
February 9th, 2010 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

To be fair, Trixie is 55 years old now and has never been continent. It’d be pissing me off by that point as well.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
February 9th, 2010 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

@wossname (#93): Because I’m bored out of my skull, I’m trying to imagine the JP luggage plot. Maybe the suitcases fall open, and financial documents fall out, revealing that Rocky’s solar-panel business is simply a front for the illegal importation of developing-country babies? Or the suitcases fall open, and horse parts fall out, revealing Godiva’s desire to take Sultan with her right now?

Or Sam simply throws out his back, and we’re treated to three weeks of Sam grimacing stoically—in other words, of Sam looking exactly how he usually looks.

@gnome de blog (#95): Oh, man, I’d love to see that Paid Political Announcement: a series of shots of Mark punching people! “Are you tired of big corporations draining your swamplands?” Pow! “And are small-time poachers killing all your local alligators?” Wham! “Has local law enforcement tried to put you in jail?” Boom! “Then vote for Mark Trail—The People’s Puncher!”
bourbon babe, unbuckled
February 9th, 2010 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

@gnome de blog (#98): No, there should not; she’s describing Poteet’s questions, not asking them.

And don’t be afraid; the Didactic Duo are stern mistresses, but they do not lack compassion. =-)
AtomicDog
February 9th, 2010 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

@Hank (#74):

Hey, it was Billingsley that made her sprouting boobs a storyline. I just noticed it, that’s all.
wossname
February 9th, 2010 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

@gnome de blog (#98): Don’t cringe and shiver, gnome de blog, we’re here to help you through your grammatical dilemmas, not to condemn you.

I didn’t use a question mark because the main part of the sentence was “I’d like to echo,” which is not a question. Analogy: “I’d like to echo the question about who it is.” All that stuff starting with “who” is — I guess — a clause that is the object of the preposition “about.” (For an alleged grammar super-heroine, I am terrible at the terminology.)

If I had said “I’d like to echo the questions Poteet has raised, like who owns this lake?” then I would have used a question mark. And possibly some quotation marks if I was feeling frisky.

And it took me so long to compose this ode to grammar that I see my partner in didacticism has already answered, and much more concisely.
odinthor
February 9th, 2010 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

I’m . . . I’m on the float? . . . [dabs at eyes] . . . and in the same 24 hour period in which my dentist’s hygeinist complimented me on the quality of my enamel? . . . [sniffle] . . . Life doesn’t get any better than this! . . . [throws candy] . . .
wossname
February 9th, 2010 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#100): Re the luggage, Sam told Rocky on Monday to go have breakfast while he and Dan handled the luggage. So you’re right, that’s a perfect setup for Sam to Discover Something while R&G are busy eating their Frosted Mini-Wheats. I like your ideas; another possibility is that one of them has swiped something from the guest house.

Another direction it could go is that Godiva’s bags won’t all fit in Sam’s car, so Dan has to take them in the Spencer Farms pickup truck, and a deer runs out in front of him and he collides with a taxi bringing Neddy and Jules from the airport, driven by Raju, and they all go over a 6-inch cliff and crash onto the beach and have busted tires and jack the cars up but the tide is coming in. And Godiva’s bags float out to sea. Or something like that.
JD
February 9th, 2010 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

I really like Spiderman this week, learning about all the Marvel TM characters who live in New York. Mainly what I’m learning is that they’re all pricks.
Mardou Fox
February 9th, 2010 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

@Calico (#30): The idea of a Mark Trail story set in Detroit just flooded my brain with happiness. There is so much abandoned land there that there are lots of wild animals (of the non-human sort) running around within the city limits, so it’s got possibilities!
corinthian
February 9th, 2010 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

It looks like the good Senator used a combination uppercut/bitchslap. I guess that makes him a libertarian?
fdtutf
February 9th, 2010 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

DT 2/9/2010, panel 3: The festering corpse of Chester Gould, or whoever-the-hell-is-writing-Dick-Tracy-these-days, goes to its “fan” mail for some of today’s dialogue.
Makya
February 9th, 2010 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

Family Circus is cutting edge. We’ve got the long-suffering, bi-polar housewife berating the beleaguered husband who has clearly drunk himself into a pre-bedtime, alcoholic stupor…and they’re siblings! Aahhhh, underage incest…a family circus indeed.
bats :[
February 9th, 2010 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

@odinthor (#104): Well, there goes the enamel…
Bob
February 9th, 2010 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

Actually, I think the lake bully began the assault by placing his hands upon Senator Badasses shoulder. The Senator was merely excercising his right to remove said bully’s hand from his person, a skill that will no doubt come in handy in Swamp Prison.
Steve
February 9th, 2010 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

The Parker Brothers should be thankful that Mark Trail didn’t bring Dick Cheney …
Festooned Dragoon
February 9th, 2010 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

A3G: That’s Clark Kent in the third panel! But seriously, Bobbie, taking tips from the man whose disguise is a mere pair of glasses? This cannot end well.
Kibo
February 9th, 2010 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

Actually, the 1979 and 2010 versions of “Mark Trail” were both drawn by Jack Elrod back in 1962. During one amphetamine-fueled spree while staying at Phil Dick’s house, Elrod drew fifty years’ worth of comics in advance. Since then, he’s spent a life of leisure on his farm with his giant butt-talking ducks.

Of course, the stash of comics will run out in 2012, which will be the end of the world for Mark Trail. After 2012, every “Mark Trail” strip will consist of the same three identical panels of solid white.
Kibo
February 9th, 2010 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

Also, over the years, “Hägar the Horrible” turned into gay S&M porn so slowly that I nearly lost patience.
Écureuil Écumant
February 9th, 2010 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

MT: Since he looks like Moe, that guy’s Joe; this is Elrod’s way of keeping us off balance. And after being on the receiving end of that pimp-slap, he’s Joe the Hoe.
Bryan
February 9th, 2010 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

@Kibo (#115): After 2012, every “Mark Trail” strip will consist of the same three identical panels of solid white.

And it it will run for another 50 years.
Anson Pants
February 9th, 2010 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

FC Not everyone loves you, and you must die.
Dr. Pill
February 9th, 2010 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

What I find interesting is that New York has all these so-called superheroes living there and yet crime is still rampant. Such failures. They should turn in their ridiculous costumes and report for soup-kitchen duty. At least they’ll be doing something useful and perhaps learn that their pathetic lives are nothing compared to the desperation of the regular folk.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
February 9th, 2010 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

@wossname (#105): And Sam punches a sheriff—which would be in keeping with his general sense of legal ethics.
Poteet
February 9th, 2010 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

# 93 wossname, : Thank you for asking my questions far more succinctly than I did. And # 98 gnome and # 101 bourbon babe, thank you for your concern for proper usage. Now I somehow feel at peace, as if I can quit repeatedly ranting about those questions, perhaps with the help of a wee drap of single-malt and a little chocolate. I hope.
gnome de blog
February 9th, 2010 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#101) said:

the Didactic Duo are stern mistresses, but they do not lack compassion.

What an amazing coincidence! The last person who said something like that to me liked pencil skirts and leather bustiers too. It was kind of her signature style. You don’t suppose she was a secret member of the League of Punctuation Avengers?
Violet
February 9th, 2010 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

My brain pretty much freezes up at attempting to comprehend how unsophisticated someone would have to be to regard Mark Trail as a fancy city dweller.
Poteet
February 9th, 2010 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

@odinthor (#104): Congratulations! Now when do we get to see your teeth, and what’s your enamel secret? Enquiring minds want to know:-)! And if you ever feel so inclined, I would love to see your description of a musical involving Norwegians. If it could be about Upper-Midwest Norwegian farmers, so much the better.
gnome de blog
February 9th, 2010 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

@wossname (#105): Sam could find the Widow DiVito’s missing $100,000, or something else that conclusively links Rocky to the murder. Wouldn’t it be something to have plots converge in Judge Parker?
cavyladyrae
February 9th, 2010 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

Apparently Dolly is PMSing harder than I am today.
queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
February 9th, 2010 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

106: I am reminded of a classic story from back in the day (Fantastic Four #243, I looked it up) when Galactus The Eater of Worlds was trying to commit suicide by superhero by attacking Manhattan. The Avengers, Doc Strange and the Fantastic Four are all engaged in combat, and Spidey is sitting on a roof top watching. Daredevil swings up and they have a brief conversation to the effect that if the big boys go down, its up to them to continue the fight* to save the Earth, and if that happens, the Earth is pretty much screwed. “For all of our sakes, I hope it doesn’t come to that.”

*For those that aren’t comics geeks, Spidey joining that fight would be along the same lines as a kid with a cork gun joining in a fight between several dozen tanks, or a kitten trying to tilt the odds in a collision of elephant stampedes.
queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
February 9th, 2010 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#125): “Escanaba in da’ Moonlight” doesn’t count?
blackgoat
February 9th, 2010 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

MW: Just sitting at home today, hoping that a stranger will call to ask if I have any intimate, gory details regarding my deceased father’s brief affair with a hippie chick he knew in college 35 years ago, at least 10 years before I was born. Absolutely; he babbled about it all the time.
odinthor
February 9th, 2010 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#125): [in best vaudeville Scandinavian accent, coached by Archie's Mr. Svenson] Vell, ve vass going to do dat “Oklahoma” vith Oslo, but ve run out of letters.

And vith de enamel, I tink it vass more mine zexy cologne dan it vass de tooths. All de ladies, ven dey vants to get fresh, dey alvays are talking about a man’s tooths enamels, ja?

[/accent] Ugh. Now I know why dialect humor, and vaudeville, died!
Black Drazon
February 9th, 2010 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

Who keeps freeing Hagar from these ridiculous situations? The only people that care about him are his family and the oaf shackled up next to him. His captors must be calling in his wife to discuss ransom only to leave the meeting table and return him to her, figuring the treatment he’ll get from her for yet another terrible failure will make up for the fire, sword and psychological damage he caused before being brought down. Either that or his people really, really love his puns.
mr 12 oz can
February 9th, 2010 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

mary worth – why didnt dawn just call the clarksville resort and ask if marty had some kid with a hippie chick who liked fishing before he went waternapping . also beware that can of pencils
mark trail- i expect the senators security detail to jump out of the lake any minute if mark cant handle the fuzz faces
rex morgan- you spent 750 bucks on @#%$& hairgel toots !!!
Pamster
February 9th, 2010 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

#124 Violet–My first thought, too, regarding Mark as a fancy city dweller. Then I wondered why the deer would be considered a fancy city dweller as it is soprominently featured, other than it’s got quite a rack on it for such a little one. Then I figured the deer was taping the whole incident. I found the Senator’s slap weird given that his other fist is balled up to do a proper punch, and if you’re not going to punch, a knife hand strike, and after that, a ridge hand strike, is more effective.
Thomas B.
February 9th, 2010 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

Jeffy knows what he is doing. He left peanut butter on his breath to incite the rage of Dominatrix Dolly. Now her anger is doing it’s work as Jeffy displays the classic “No-I-don’t-have-an-erection” stance.
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
February 9th, 2010 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

H&L — Chip + electric guitar + powerful amplifier = Trixie + “brown note”
Ringo Beaumont III
February 9th, 2010 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

MT: Maybe I’m completely off base here, but wouldn’t a state lawmaker be one of the people who actually DOES have the authority to tell people “how to run their business on the lake’?
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
February 9th, 2010 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

@Mibbitmaker (#36): re Dilbert — Alice is not a woman; Alice is a female engineer. Where I come from, types like Alice are generally the harassers.
Ringo Beaumont III
February 9th, 2010 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

@Kibo (#115): Well, at least we finally know what the Mayans were going on about.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
February 9th, 2010 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#122): Hunh–that’s funny. I find that liquor and chocolate fuel my rants.

@gnome de blog (#126): You want plot convergence?
Neddy’s in the suitcase.
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
February 9th, 2010 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

@odinthor (#104): Well, no wonder your teeth are so good — you’re throwing candy instead of eating it.
Thomas B.
February 9th, 2010 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

Today’s Mark Trail brought to you by Bitch Slap Veterans for Truth.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
February 9th, 2010 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

@odinthor (#131): Oh, see, now here’s another tip I’m picking up from this site as I re-enter the dating world: compliment a man on his teeth.
Dagny
February 9th, 2010 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

@Little Guy (#2):

And what a bitchslap it was.
Thomas B.
February 9th, 2010 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

It looks more like Dawn is playing Wii boxing than trying to help her Dad.
trey le parc
February 9th, 2010 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

MT: And here, for no apparent reason, is a deer’s ass. Jack, you’re doing it wrong.
Jamus The Bartender
February 9th, 2010 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

Happiness is…….
…………………..When Edda Burber does her stretching exercises on Sundays and doesn’t say a damn word.
…………………..When the Archie artist sneaks in the AJGLU3K machine, or Betty and Veronica in tube tops, or just a random babe…any way he can.
……………………When Garry Trudeau draws Mike’s wife Kim just right.
……………………the thought that Skeezix Wallet has just enough pull with the United States Army to requisition a new uniform. Could random airstrikes be next?
…………………….Tiffany in the dunk tank.
……………………..the state of affairs of the Gumbo family in Rose Is Rose, almost until you can’t stand it.
………………………when the Curmudgeon t-shirt comes in the mail.
………………………when people think your stories are pretty good.
………………………chicken wings marinating in an olive oil, peanut oil, and apple cider vinegar mix, broil for a half hour, drain the grease, baste with a hot sauce, melted butter, honey and orange marmalade glaze, serve with blue cheese dip and celery.
……………………..the thought of the Avengers taking over Spider-Man’s newspaper strip.
……………………..when Cassandra Cat shows up in Slylock Fox.
………………………when Bob Weber Jr. sneaks in a superhero of some kind under the syndicate’s radar.
……………………..the thought that the Brook Bradford storyline will probably last through May.
……………………..when Abbey Spencer hangs her laundry.
………………………when Abbey Spencer paints her house, stoned to the gills.
………………………when Abbey Spencer does anything, really.
………………………when Godiva brushes her horse.
………………………there exists in the Mary Worth universe a restaurant called “The Bum Boat”.
……………………….cellphone pictures of a girl in a bikini made from soda pop boxes.
………………………the anticipation of the My Cage women throwing a drunken bachelorette party for Bridget Dog.
……………………….the Fist-Of-Justice ( tm) !
……………………….Alice Mitchell. Blondie Boopadoop-Bumstead. And, yes, credit where credit is due. Thel from Family Circus. Still hot after all these years.
…………………………Masterpiece Comics from Robert Sikoryak. Twenty bucks at Borders, less online. Buy it today.
…………………………getting a lot of mileage out of an old Peanuts schtick, and finally….
Happiness is….the thought that Bob Weber Jr. has HAD to have read my stuff at least once.
Jamus The Bartender
February 9th, 2010 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

Oh….and….
Happiness is….
……………….when Clark Kent does a walk-on in Apartment 3-G.
………………the fact that Lynn Johnston retiring hasn’t stopped my enjoyment of the trainwreck that is For Better Or For Worse.
Zla\'od
February 9th, 2010 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

MT: It might have been a karate chop. Or more likely, the Senator is breaking free from the hold that either Moe or Joe (can’t remember which is which) has put him.

The second panel is key. We are too far away to see clearly what is going on, but I speculate that the artist intended to show either Moe or Joe grabbing the Senator by the shoulder or upper arm.

The defense rests.
Zla'od
February 9th, 2010 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

No, Ringo Beaumont III (No. 137), that would represent a confusion between the executive and legislative functions of the government. The Senator’s job is to make laws, not to enforce them.
Violet
February 9th, 2010 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

@Pamster (#134):
Right? Fo reals and mos def.
McPerson
February 9th, 2010 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

The first time I read it, I thought that Hagar and Eddie were chained up because they made snow angels.
Aviatrix
February 9th, 2010 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

@Bryan (#118): But you won’t be able to tell there are no graphics, because giant BOLD dialogue boxes all but fill the frames.
gnome de blog
February 9th, 2010 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

Dolly’s a stern mistress, but she hasn’t a shred of compassion. Every once in a while Jef Keane’s dark side leaks out and he pays his siblings back for the cruelties of his childhood. Those times make Family Circus worth reading.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
February 9th, 2010 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

@gnome de blog (#154): Gah! Dolly packed into sausage-casing pencil skirt and bustier! Gah!
odinthor
February 9th, 2010 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#143): Maybe I’m just a slut; but I’m putty in the hands of any woman who sidles up to me and purrs that I’m at low risk for periodontal disease. Putty, I tells ya!
dasein
February 9th, 2010 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

I don’t know what’s come over me. I chortled at today’s Crankshaft. I… I… I think I’d better go to the doctor…
bourbon babe, unbuckled
February 9th, 2010 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

@odinthor (#156): Noted.
Perky Bird
February 9th, 2010 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

“Now you and your friend here can pack up and go back to your fancy city, what with all the ‘lectricity and indoor plummin’ and laws against marryin’ your sisters.”
mustang
February 9th, 2010 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

FC: Nothin’s as cute as thinkin’ about the plaque in Jeffy’s little piehole. Nothin’.
gnome de blog
February 9th, 2010 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#155): Dolly’s more the church-lady type.
queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
February 9th, 2010 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

we’re getting what looks to be a half-strength version of what hit the Mid-Atlantic, and its not looking to be any fun.

bb,u, can we trade bourbon, massages and hot tub time after shoveling out tomorrow?
jnoble
February 9th, 2010 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

MT: Look on the far left in panel #2…the guy from the ‘Pedestrians Crossing’ and ‘Don’t Walk/Walk’ signs is part of the gang!
Numbat
February 9th, 2010 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

@Mibbitmaker (#86):

Ah but Darcy Parker’s dead – something all hummingbirds are extremely grateful for.
Master Softheart
February 9th, 2010 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

MT: While I generally disapprove of a democratic political process degenerating into violence, I keep finding that the comics offer a seductive vision of how to cut through the dysfunction of pluralist democracy.

First, we are willing to suspend the laws to deal with government corruption through presidential vigilante justice.

Then we become accustomed to a Senator who is willing to dish out dainty, backhanded violence against environmental evildoers. Heck, Senator Pimpslap probably brings this approach to other aspects of his job: “We need to vote on that water bill now… What? Procedural motion to extend debate? My Honorable Colleague can debate the back of the hand!” [WHAM!]

But it’s a slippery slope. Start applauding Senators slapping around Mark Trail villains and the next thing you know, it’s Dick Cheney shooting lawyers in the face. I think that was the plot of the Star Wars prequels, in fact.

9CL: “I might have just accidentally committed treason. Of course, if it involves giving lots of hot, nubile aid and comfort to the enemy in wartime, I’ve been doing that for a while, but this might be more serious.”

FW: “Can we afford not to?” Thankfully, Karl Marx offers us a conceptual vocabulary in which to interpret Funky’s question: “The bourgeoisie, wherever it has got the upper hand, has put an end to all feudal, patriarchal, idyllic relations. It has [...] left remaining no other nexus between man and man than naked self-interest, than callous “cash payment”. It has drowned the most heavenly ecstasies of religious fervour, of chivalrous enthusiasm, of philistine sentimentalism, in the icy water of egotistical calculation.”

From this, we could conclude that the strip’s main character is intended as a playing out of the critique of capitalism, torn between the naked force of economic necessity and family sentimentality, but so damaged by his socialization in post-industrial, fast-food capitalism that he is unable to even formulate the struggle in any terms not bound by monetary cost and benefit. Using the visual medium to his advantage, Batuik portrays the physical corruption of Funky’s obese, decrepit body as a reflection of the spiritual corruption inherent in a society of alienation and class domination, a society that would use Wally in an imperialistic war then discard him to the uncaring labor market despite his mental and physical wounds. Like Victor Hugo projecting the degradation of French industrialization onto shocking representative characters, this presents us with a mirror of our own materialist values and causes us to question the social values that could create such horrors.

Or he’s just a selfish, unhealthy, repressed, smirking reflection of the author’s own self-loathing, devoid of broader social significance. The writing is so darn good, it could go either way.
zerowolf
February 9th, 2010 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

H&L Trixie and Marvin sitting in a tree… oh God I need therapy….
zerowolf
February 9th, 2010 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

A3G: I’ve found the upper hand pretty much feels the same as the lower hand myself. Oh wait your not talking about…. oh ah never mind…
zerowolf
February 9th, 2010 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

RMMD: Look out Toot’s here come’s the Dementor’s Kiss.
seismic-2
February 9th, 2010 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

@zerowolf (#166): “sitting”?

GA: The only possible justification for continuing to read this “Skeezix gets an active-duty Army uniform” story line any further is the possibility that it somehow involves a case of mistaken identity and a firing squad.

MT: Ah, the Senator pimp-slaps a hillbilly who just stepped out of Deliverance. This is what is meant in the Lost Forest when a politician says has has been “hiking on the Appalachian Trail”.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
February 9th, 2010 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

@queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#162): We’re just starting storm #2 here—so sure, I’m willing to share! (A la odinthor, compliment my dental work, and I’ll promise you anything.)
Poteet
February 9th, 2010 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

@queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#129): HAR!
Thomas B.
February 9th, 2010 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

I am impressed that Mark Trail is enlisting sidekicks to help him deal out outdoorsman style vigilante justice. Mark has only one rule for his sidekicks as demonstrated here and here: Nobody gets to throw a punch but me.
Toronto
February 9th, 2010 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

Due to a faulty diode in an IBM machine, Skeezix gets shipped to Iraq.
seismic-2
February 9th, 2010 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

JP: Ah, suitcases! You will recall that when Godiva made her impulsive decision to leave her kids, walloping each other with Nerf bats and drowning each other in the pool though they may be, and take this spur-of-the-moment trip to confront Rocky, only a scant 8 months ago now, she brought very little luggage. So what is the content of these multiple suitcases with which she is now returning?

Clearly, this plot development hearkens back to an earlier storyline wherein Abbey discovered that her elderly neighbors were pot farmers. They were busted, but clearly Abbey annexed her neighbors’ farm and take over the business. From there, it was a straightforward matter to expand the business and move into dealing the harder stuff. When Abbey returns to Hollywood, she will thus be bearing suitcases filled with Spencer Farms Green and valise cases filled with Sam’s Smack. (You think going through life that totally obliviously comes naturally to anyone?) It is this narcotics trafficking that the Drivers mean when they talk about “selling horse”, and the scam of operating a stable allows them to launder the money in the guise of livestock trading. This is why Abbey is so taken back when poor innocent little Sophie suggests that they need to go to Hollywood and deliver an actual horse to Rocky and Godiva.
Jamus The Bartender
February 9th, 2010 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

@seismic-2 (#174): I’m guessing Godiva and Abbey did some shopping for clothes and naughty undies and the like. A LOT of naughty undies.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
February 9th, 2010 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

@Jamus The Bartender (#175): So is that instead of the drug-mule plot (which I like a lot), or in addition to the drug-mule plot? Because I’m pretty sure that a drug / lingerie smuggling story has not yet been tackled on the comics pages.
Poteet
February 9th, 2010 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

@odinthor (#131): So I should be embarrassed that I laughed like a drain?
Walker of Dog
February 10th, 2010 at 12:05 am [Reply]

@gnome de blog (#83):

On the question of whether Mr. Hatcher is a State or U.S. Senator: based on the Shakespearean bearing, stilted inflection and form of address, and indifferent constituent service, we are definitely in the esteemed presence of a member of the World’s Greatest Deliberative Body. I request permission to revise and extend my fists, bitch.
Rusty
February 10th, 2010 at 12:20 am [Reply]

@Master Softheart (#165): I hope the composition took a while because it was fantastic.
Poteet
February 10th, 2010 at 12:30 am [Reply]

@gnome de blog (#83): Once again I repeat that it would help to know the ownership status of the lake, because if it were a state-owned lake, the feds probably wouldn’t…mmph! mmph!

*Poteet has been taken offline until she can control herself*
odinthor
February 10th, 2010 at 12:47 am [Reply]

@Poteet (#177): Nej, nej—dat shows you got good draining, ja?
Poteet
February 10th, 2010 at 1:06 am [Reply]

@odinthor (#181): Tusen takk!
bats :[
February 10th, 2010 at 1:10 am [Reply]

Oh, man, I’ll be out of town a few days and will likely not see the comics…just in time to miss an out-and-out punchfest in MT, finally (maybe. sort of.) an interesting plot development in MW, the continuing Tale o’ Toots, and Spidey gearing up for those early-bird specials down in Miami.
Poteet
February 10th, 2010 at 1:24 am [Reply]

2/10

CRANK — Ha ha! Crankshaft is such a jerk that he’s a jerk just to be a jerk!

JP — Oh, geez. Hands up, those who long to see the Rocky/Godiva storyline extended another few weeks. Yeah, that’s what I thought.

MT — In a moment the squirrel will take out her tiny cell and call 911.

MW — Rapture! This could be excellent.

PHANTOM — Now you’ve gone and done it, Savarna. He could easily drone on for a month.
Jamus The Bartender
February 10th, 2010 at 1:33 am [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#176): I’m guessing in addition…..wow, a drug mule plot involving Abbey Spencer. That honestly never occured to me. I mean, one day your furniture disappears, and the next day, Cassandra Cat has blow, I mean, it’s like Harry Potter magic.
gnome de blog
February 10th, 2010 at 1:49 am [Reply]

@Walker of Dog (#178): With all due respect to my colleague from [wherever] who is indeed one of the most distinguished members of this, the College of Comix Curmudgeon Cardinals, which stands second to no other in being the Greatest Deliberative Body in this or any other Universe, I humbly beg to disagree. While Senator Hatcher is undoubtedly a fine example of pomposity and regal mien, state senates do not lack for gentlemen of that quality.

@Poteet (#180): Hard to say who owns the lake. Depends on the state. If it’s large enough to land airplanes on it probably has an outlet, which means it ultimately connects to a navigable waterway which means it’s a water of the United States, which means the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers has jurisdiction over it (the Corps has been asserting jurisdiction over drain ditches and seasonal streams lately too, in spite of court decisions). That doesn’t mean they own it, but it does mean that you can’t piss in it without a permit.

Here in Oregon, the state basically owns all the water that’s connected to a navigable stream, unless you can prove title extending back before statehood. Therefore, the Parker Brothers would be acting illegally if they were in Oregon (which they’re not). They could kick you off their land, unless you were portaging or making an emergency landing, but they can’t chase you out of their end of the lake. Forgive me for going all Senatorial on you, but the Legislature’s in session and my good friend Walker of Dog got me all wound up (no, I’m not a state senator, but I deal with ‘em a lot).
Poteet
February 10th, 2010 at 1:53 am [Reply]

2/10 STONE SOUP — Yeah, that’s right, Gramma. Guilt-trip a thirteen-year-old child. As if you didn’t fly thousands of miles to escape from Max The Screaming Demon Spawn From The Heart Of Hell yourself.
Poteet
February 10th, 2010 at 1:58 am [Reply]

@gnome de blog (#186): Thanks! It’s interesting to hear a perspective from another state. I used to regularly deal with state senators myself, and I agree with you that cases of pomposity can be found amongst them.
Mibbitmaker
February 10th, 2010 at 2:12 am [Reply]

The 10th:

MT: Squirrel: “Hmmph! Humans!”

MW: Aw, I hate to see Phyllis Diller like that! Having to play Avis in One Big Happy, I don’t really blame her, though.

RMMD: “I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.”

FC: We’re still waiting…
True Fable
February 10th, 2010 at 2:38 am [Reply]

Fist O Justice theater Stop it, you two! You’re scaring the squirrels.

Kit Walker, Opportunity Ranger! “So how about it, honey? Let’s hit the sack!” Sorry but I honestly expect that sort of dialog any day now. Well okay, maybe not that crude. More like “I feel so alone… so vulnerable… so in need of bumping uglies!”

Rex Morgan, PHD I like the “Sonic the Hedgehog” look Toots is sporting.

Roobs GOAT! Rubes has a GOAT!!

The Amazing Avengers I have a theory that all the good superheroes of New York City have an silent agreement that they take care of the dangerous villains and leave Spider-man to take on the hacks. You know – give the kid something to play with while the grown-ups tend to business.
KarMann
February 10th, 2010 at 2:40 am [Reply]

2/10:
Bizarro and Blondie made a nice sequence to read together today.
DtM: Oooo, now there’s some serious menace, kid!
Dilbert: Well played, sir! Even if Captain Sullenberger jokes are a bit dated by now.
ReFOOB: Connie, honey, we all say we learn from experience. It’s just Lynn who says you can’t. Sorry to say, she’s the one pulling your strings. [offstage] “Dance, puppet, dance!”
Momma: Translation: “Noooo! Don’t make Mell (attempt to) draw anything interesting, like rivers and rapids!”
Rubes: GOAT!!
Ziggy: This joke might go over better if you wore a belt, you recidivist!
Sister Sestina
February 10th, 2010 at 2:55 am [Reply]

Take the last train to Clarkville?
No, I’ll just use my computer
Gonna find some information
On my father’s rival suitor
Long ago… Oh no no no… Oh no no no…
Why is the god-damned modem always slow?

I won’t go down to Clarkville
So I don’t need my Magellan,
All I’ll do is dial a number
And connect with sister Helen
Then I’ll know… Oh no no no… Oh no no no…
If Kurt might have a claim on Martin’s dough.

Well I’m talking now to Helen
And that bitch is drunk and crabby
But it’s worth it if I find out
That her brother knocked up Abby,
I hope so… Oh no no no… Oh no no no…
‘Cause I refuse to think that Kurt’s my bro.
Steve the Pocket
February 10th, 2010 at 3:04 am [Reply]

Props to Dennis the Menace today for finally deconstructing itself. We all know Dennis has suffered from such severe menace decay these days that he’s frequently more like the comic strip equivalent of a Precious Moments figurine. Or an extraneous member of the Circus family. And yet at the same time, Mr. Wilson next door still seems exasperated with him. Today we finally learn why. Dennis’s clumsy attempts at being endearing are exactly what annoys him so much. And really, can anyone blame him?
True Fable
February 10th, 2010 at 3:34 am [Reply]

@Sister Sestina (#192):

Excellent!
Mordock999
February 10th, 2010 at 4:22 am [Reply]

Today’s Luann – 02/10/10

Wait, wait, WAIT!

Brad was gonna TALK to Toni about (Shudder) MARRIAGE!??!

Oooooh, THIS is TOO Good!

Oh, Naaaaaaancy! Brad got somethin’ he wants to tell ‘ya!

(No WAIT, Brad!)

Here, Nancy! TAKE this bottle of Smelling Salts in CASE you need it!

(Hold on Brad, GIVE me a Minute!)

Nancy, let me Strategically place this LARGE comfy Pillow BEHIND you!

(Okay, Brad, TELL her NOW!)

Brad – “Mom, I was going to talk to Toni about Marriage but….,”

Nancy – “You WHAT!??! Ahhhhhhhhhhh….,” (Faints)

BLAM!!!

Awww. I SHOULDA placed that pillow just a little MORE to the LEFT!

_________________

DEATH to TJ!!!
lostsyn
February 10th, 2010 at 4:49 am [Reply]

FC: Shudder For a split second I read that as, “Mommy, how old was I when I decided to be boned.”
KarMann
February 10th, 2010 at 4:57 am [Reply]

*offers lostsyn a shot of KarMann’s Medicinal Brain Bleach Tonic*
Jack Parsons
February 10th, 2010 at 5:12 am [Reply]

Yo, Lois, my shnizzi- if you thought The Blues was hurting your head, wait ’til he discovers The Ayn Rand Songbook!
Sterling
February 10th, 2010 at 5:50 am [Reply]

Dolly is Mommy’s favorite. She can always be relied upon to tattle if Daddy’s been in the sauce.
mojo
February 10th, 2010 at 5:52 am [Reply]

Mary Worth Life Lesson #4837: If you’re rich, you’re drunk, miserable and generally unpleasant. Luckily—thanks to the magic of the Evil Internet—Mary is available to yell them back to sobriety every time they get liquored up.
willethompson
February 10th, 2010 at 6:51 am [Reply]

MW: For today’s matinee, the part of Helen Clark will be played by David Bowie. The part of the whiskey will be played by Orange Tang.
John C Fremont
February 10th, 2010 at 7:15 am [Reply]

@willethompson (#201): “The part of Old Bill was played by a frying pan. The other part of Old Bill was played bit Sir Rupert Carpet who found a pair of swimming trunks on his head…”

MT – Oh, Moe. Oh, silly, silly Moe. You have no idea what you’ve just done.
Écureuil Écumant
February 10th, 2010 at 8:09 am [Reply]

@166 zerowolf said:

H&L Trixie and Marvin sitting in a tree…

… S-H-I-T-T-I-N-G.
First come farts, then come turds …
Boy, I’m glad that they aren’t birds!
Hibbleton
February 10th, 2010 at 9:04 am [Reply]

MW: Dawn mistakenly calls Gary Busey.
mcmc
February 10th, 2010 at 9:52 am [Reply]

*hic*
Ellen
February 10th, 2010 at 10:07 am [Reply]

I’m just waiting for the inevitable line “Is Mark Trail gonna have to choke a bitch?”
queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
February 10th, 2010 at 10:09 am [Reply]

Speed Bump, guest-starring PedoBear.

RwO: mmmmmmm, bacon!

LaCuc: *snerk!*

Dilbert: nice! I liked it.

A&J: *plays the bow-chikka-bow-wow theme on violin*

OTH: o dear, Mollificent alert continues.

On the web-comics side of things,

Pibgorn is particularly ass-tastic today.

Paging Jumble Jeff, you have been Weaponized in the latest Weapon Brown strip.
tb4000
February 10th, 2010 at 10:15 am [Reply]

Luann: Brad, you damn well that is never going to fly. Number 1, Toni is still somewhat of a free spirit. Number 2, the MILF DeGroot doesn’t want any other woman providing you with sensual pleasure but her.
wossname
February 10th, 2010 at 10:16 am [Reply]

DT – Baka Gaijin alert – scary conductor looking a lot like a scary clown!

I’m a little worried by this latest development of Dick grabbing Phil Harmonic’s arm. You do know we all want to see that Strad blow up, preferably with major casualties, right, Locher?

GT – Now this illustrates why I never read GT until recently, when y’all lured me into it.

PBS – Wow – Rat showing a tiny shred of compassion – I did not expect that!

JP – Wait wait wait — whose buddy? Rocky has a buddy? Or does he mean Paparazzo #1’s buddy, Paparazzo #2? They left for the airport about six months/one day ago, promising never to come back, didn’t they? Maybe they ran into Neddy and Jules arriving. Also, who’s Corey?

I guess the whole luggage schtick was just a device to have Sam talk to his employee, with whom he would never otherwise have a conversation.

MT – Wow! Such excitement! Fortunately the giant squirrel sees injustice being perpetrated and is about to erupt in a violent fit of acorn-throwing.

MW – And speaking of excitement – woo hoo! I particularly like the subtle ways in which Moy/Giella hint that Helen Clark may be a bit of a tippler. Hic!

RMMD – Ladies and gentlemen, for today’s matinee only, the role of Toots will be played by Mr. Brad Pitts.

SFx – Cool – a Sunday Mark Trail/Slylock hybrid.

S-M – Foreshadowing 101, Lesson 1: Have character say “There’s no need to worry about X” when X is the bad thing that’s about to happen.
ignatz
February 10th, 2010 at 10:22 am [Reply]

Spider-Man: “No sane person gives a crap about this ludicrous plot, so we might as well use this dog of a strip to hawk the comic book line.”
Spunde
February 10th, 2010 at 10:22 am [Reply]

MW: Man, who doesn’t love a rich lady who drinks Tabasco to cure the hiccups?
Uncle Ritzy Fritz
February 10th, 2010 at 10:25 am [Reply]

2/10 MT: “Hey. HEY! Jesus, what’s a squirrel got to do to get a little privacy around here? Finally find the PERFECT knothole and now this!”
queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
February 10th, 2010 at 10:31 am [Reply]

Fashion Police, nice dog!!

verrrry interesting.

fennec pup! SQUEEEE!

best ski mask EVAR!!!
Muffaroo
February 10th, 2010 at 10:33 am [Reply]

A3G – “(It can’t be?! But it is!! I have to get out of here NOW!!!)”
Alan the artist is sitting in a booth with Aldo and that stripper from Judge Parker.
Or maybe it’s just somebody with outrageous body odor.

AD – You’re a plugger if cavemen know more pop culture references than you do.

Blondie – “We’re out of ketchup. But we do happen to have some catsup.” [*]

Curtis – Well, since some of my fellow Mudges nailed this some days ago, the only way I’ll be surprised is if the choir members are all over seventy feet tall.
Muffaroo
February 10th, 2010 at 10:34 am [Reply]

Dennis – Yeah, soon this kid’s going to be in a bleeding heartwarming musical called “Dennis!” which will somehow negate any philosophy that was ever espoused in the strip or by its creator.

Hägar – Lucky Eddie doesn’t seem happy at the thought of antemeridial intoxication. Lacking a mouth, he probably either has to snuff it up his nose or pour it down his funnel.

Mark – Simple mnemonic: MM — Moe has Mustache. (I also have one for telling the Thompsons apart in Tintin stories.)

Marmaduke – “Christ, what an arf hole!”
Muffaroo
February 10th, 2010 at 10:36 am [Reply]

1Big – Detorie will be so embarrassed when Yellowstone really erupts. (It seems there’s a lot of geothermal activity going on there lately, so I’m not just saying this at random, though I sincerely hope nothing cataclysmic happens there.)

Peanuts – As a side benefit of taking Sarah bowling most weeks, I finally get this joke!

Phantom – “Yes, Diana was killed in a horrible kiln explosion. So what I’m saying is… I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

Spidey – It wouldn’t have hurt for you to at least have mentioned Sabretooth to somebody. Well, I guess you’d have had to mention the part about fleeing his presence and hiding in your apartment with the TV turned way down for the rest of the day, so never mind.

Zits – Cheaper? When he’s gone, you’ll have to pay somebody with a shovel to haul all that crap away every week.
Muffaroo
February 10th, 2010 at 10:37 am [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#176): “More laces, drug mule!”

@Écureuil Écumant (#203): “P-O-O-P-I-N-G” scans better. Just had to mention it.
Thomas B.
February 10th, 2010 at 10:42 am [Reply]

@shermy glamrocker (#3): I’m going to vote for bitch slap as I think pimp slaps come down with the face of the hand. This slap seems to come up and may be with the back of the hand.
Nuklhd
February 10th, 2010 at 10:47 am [Reply]

RMMD – That’s two days in a row now where it appears that the artist’s inspiration for Brooke has been an inflatable sex doll.
Do Not Mind Me I Am Not Here
February 10th, 2010 at 10:48 am [Reply]

@True Fable (#190): If it’s a goat you want…
Gabacho
February 10th, 2010 at 10:59 am [Reply]

Mary Worth – Helen Clark is the best character ever created and presented in Mary Worth. She is destined to be a classic.

And you can totally tell Helena’s drunk, not just because she’s hiccuping and has a bottle next to her, but because she doesn’t ask Dawn her name or anything, she just wants to know about the questions. I can’t wait to see Dawn putting her “Asking Stupid Questions” major at Local U. into practice.

I think her first questions will be, “How come Drew cheated on me and will he ever come back?” and “Do I look hot in purple?”

This is just great.
Howland Al
February 10th, 2010 at 11:12 am [Reply]

Mary Worth: Wow, Aunt May has really let herself go.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
February 10th, 2010 at 11:15 am [Reply]

JP: Sam’s pants saying, “I could have done with a little less excitement” is probably the most accurate misplaced dialogue balloon ever.

NS: Haha! Older women are bitches!

MT: In a strip that specializes in awkward fight scenes, today’s fight has got to be among the top 10—especially Moe/Joe and Mark commencing their shy, fumbling spooning in panel 3.

A3G: Margo or Gabriella?

DtM: I actually find Hallmark-style uplifting aphorisms to be pretty menacing.

HtH: So it’s sophisticated to drink before breakfast? Nine of out ten skid-row drunks—plus Helen Clark—would agree.

MW: Gah! Helen, have a little more of that Boone’s Farm, and maybe your face will unclench.
LUJBEM FEJF
February 10th, 2010 at 11:21 am [Reply]

MT- I’ve got a feeling that someone’s going be squealing like pig soon. Is this taking place on the Appalachian Trail?
bourbon babe, unbuckled
February 10th, 2010 at 11:21 am [Reply]

@Sister Sestina (#192): Excellent!

Hey, can anyone tell me how to get to current Cul de Sac strips online? I’m not getting my newspaper because it will never ever ever stop friggin’ snowing, and I’m missing my daily CdS fix. Thanks!
Amateur
February 10th, 2010 at 11:31 am [Reply]

MW: Holy CRAP, what IS that?? I swear I jumped about a foot. And I thought DAWN was demonic!

(Bravo, Sister Sestina!)
Thomas B.
February 10th, 2010 at 11:39 am [Reply]

MW: So the twisted sister calls Twisted Sister!?
Calico
February 10th, 2010 at 11:47 am [Reply]

Oh great, Dawn’s going to have phone sex with a drunken millionairess.
I, mean, OH WOW!~

#224 – Have you seen Dean’s “Crankshaft Jumble” yet? : D

#225 – Can we have some of that snow in QC, please? We’ve gotten only about one half to two-thirds of what we are used to. I loves me a good blizzard.
Do Not Mind Me I Am Not Here
February 10th, 2010 at 11:50 am [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#225): Courtesy of Spiderman. He has nothing to do anyway.
Mela
February 10th, 2010 at 11:54 am [Reply]

Comics for a snowed-in Wednesday:

9CL: Here we see the surest way to guarantee you’ll be a wartime casualty.

A3G: Oh, hell, yeah! The theory’s correct! This is gonna be awesome!

‘Shaft: New Guy, are you familiar with the Batman Punch? Now would be a good time to learn it.

EC: This strip would be completely bland & unnoticeable if the creator didn’t strive to make me hate this family with every fiber of my being. They’re just assholish enough to infuriorate.

ReFOOB: Why, Connie? Because Lynn’s morality is stuck firmly in the 50s and now thinks you’re a skank for being a single mother, and she can’t possibly live off royalties, so she needs to ruin her older work by making you look like a skank, that’s why.

FW: The odds of Les chaining his daughter in the basement and forcing her to dress like a grade schooler increase with his every appearance.

Garfield: “Tiddy boom”. I have no idea what that means, but I’m working it into my conversations today somehow.

Luann: This strip could only improve if EVERYONE in it got gunned down. Preferably by the dog.

MT: So I guess the squirrel’s a witness now.

MW: Holy shit, is that David Bowie? And why does Wilbur’s photo have him in a yarmulka?

Wiley’s Soapbox: Ha ha ha, women, amirite?! Surely this is more creative and insightful than some mere webcomic.

Pluggers: Of course it’s a lot of sodium – it says “salt”.
mr 12 oz can
February 10th, 2010 at 11:54 am [Reply]

rex morgan – brooke dont give up the goods to toots he probaly thinks hes getting the money from stuffing envelopes .also he could put the used condom in junes sugar bowl getting you in more hot water
bourbon babe, unbuckled
February 10th, 2010 at 11:54 am [Reply]

@Do Not Mind Me I Am Not Here (#229): Yay! Thanks! ((sending stuffed-gila-monster appreciation your way))
Do Not Mind Me I Am Not Here
February 10th, 2010 at 11:57 am [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#232): I prefer stuffed gila monster on a bed of endive.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
February 10th, 2010 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

MT: Before they continue, Moe/Joe and Mark might want to do a little research.

(Of course, for Step 4, let’s substitute, “Get a semi-secluded spot in the underbrush.”)
commodorejohn
February 10th, 2010 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

A3G – Oh my God, that’s Gabriella at the counter, isn’t it? YES!

BC – Uh-oh, B.C. has become trope-savvy. God only knows what we’re in for now.

BrS – What is this strange, new-fangled “eemale” of which you speak? I cannot fathom!

DT – I like how the scroll and pegbox of the violin are drawn at an angle to the neck. Top-notch art, this.

FC – I’m not sure you were borned, Jeffy. I kind of suspect that you were magically teleported out of the womb as a half-developed fetus, which would explain your stunted development and bizarre proportions.

FW – “I’M TERRIFIED OF HAVING NO CONTROL IN MY DAUGHTER’S LIFE! HOW MUCH CLEARER DO I NEED TO MAKE THIS? THE PROSPECT OF HER BECOMING AN INDEPENDENT ADULT IS FRIGHTENING BECAUSE I HAVE NO REDEEMING FEATURES AND ANYONE CAPABLE OF LEAVING ME WOULD MOST LIKELY DO SO!”

Luann – Fuck you, Brad. If you can’t even ask a goddamn question of the woman who’s done everything except strip naked and demand that you take her, and somehow that’s her fault, then just fuck you.

MT – Wow, Mark Trail turned into Deliverance so gradually I didn’t even notice.

MW – Oh. My. God. I think I’m going to have a new favorite Mary Worth storyline before long.

SM – More, please!

Edison Lee – What.
Fashion Police
February 10th, 2010 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#223):

We would expect it to be Gabriella.

Miss Magee, bless her heart, would never stoop to visit the corner grocery without being fully dressed and made up, and it’s too early in the day for her to have completed her toilette.

Also, Professor Papagoras mentioned that Mrs. Merrill’s flat was on the Lower East Side. Apartment 3-G is above 59th Street, is it not?
Fashion Police
February 10th, 2010 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

@queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#213):
There are certainly times when one wishes to employ more visceral weapons than the cold stare and the scornfully-arched eyebrow. However, we sincerely try to rise above the madness.
Northernlurker
February 10th, 2010 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

That is not Helen Clark that is Mick Jagger, is it not?
Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
February 15th, 2010 at 11:35 am [Reply]

Could it be? Yes, it could!
Wyatt Sims in the neighborhood!
Isn’t it grand?
I just don’t know why he’s here
But, I fear
Destruction at hand.
Leggy blondes
Give Toots lunch.
Wyatt Sims, he gonna punch.
Restless people come to Rex
June, they vex!
“Family” be damned.

Around the corner
Judge Parker will deliver
The sweater puppies shiver
Today…

Dawn makes calls
Across the land
Learns Kurt Evans ain’t that grand.
Wilbur Weston reminisce!
Abby bliss!
Sex with a hat.
Sex with a hat.
Sex with a ha-a-a-a-at!

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