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The Miller Party — and, oh, what a party it will be

Beetle Bailey, 2/28/10

I originally read the heading on the piece of paper tacked to the bulletin board in panel three as “Worst List”, and believed that it was meant to be an accounting of the most incompetent, ineffective, and generally bad soldiers on the base, or perhaps just the worst humans on earth. This nicely dovetails with my interpretation of the ensuing panels, in which Beetle, struck by shame, climbs atop a building intending to jump off and end it all, and convinces many of his fellow soldiers to join him. Unfortunately, since the structure only appears to be 12 feet high or so, this too will probably end in failure, with the attempted mass suicide only resulting in a few broken ankles.

Judge Parker, 2/28/10

Hey, remember how there was this entire other Judge Parker plot going on, which, despite its many crimes against legal ethics, was actually somewhat more interesting than the Rocky-Godiva marital problems storyline? Well, it, uh, got resolved, completely offstage, apparently! Thank goodness this one of Barreto’s last few Sunday strips (or perhaps one of his son’s?), so that these boring people standing around some dull office explaining the resolution confusingly are at least halfway attractive to look at.

Marvin, 2/28/10

“Well, it looks like we’ll have to turn to cannibalism! We’ll start with Marvin, naturally. I’ll fire up the grill.”

“But honey, we have plenty of food in the ho—”

“I SAID I’LL FIRE UP THE GRILL!”

Panel from Blondie, 2/28/10

It’s only a dream sequence, but this panel offers further unsettling detail on the always grim relationship between Dagwood and his boss. We’re no doubt meant to chortle at Dagwood’s comically twisted leg, but I can’t stop looking at Dithers’s heel planted squarely on the poor man’s throat.

Panel from Mary Worth, 2/28/10

At last, the nature of Wilbur and Kurt’s forest frolic becomes clear: A laughing Wilbur is giving his smiling not-son a bit of a head start before he starts hunting him for sport. Truly, emotionally needy con artists are the most dangerous game.

This entry was posted on Sunday, February 28, 2010 at 11:46 pm and is filed under Beetle Bailey, Blondie, Judge Parker, Marvin, Mary Worth. |

166 responses to “The Miller Party — and, oh, what a party it will be”

Dave
February 28th, 2010 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

Yes, that is Diego Barreto’s handiwork on Judge Parker. So, last Sunday, was Eduardo Barreto’s last JP strip.

Diego would’ve been pretty good on JP.

Mike Manley countdown in two weeks.
mollificent
February 28th, 2010 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

“A laughing Wilbur is giving his smiling not-son a bit of WHAT!!?!?”

oh…*A* head. Very, very important article there. *mops forehead, re-stows brain bleach for future use*
Digger
February 28th, 2010 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

At first glance I actually thought the work list said “Beetle kill Plato,” which is kind of an obvious way for Sarge to put out a hit on someone.

MW: Oh, look, Wilbur and Kurt are playing dress-up in the woods! The 1940s Hard-Boiled Detective is solving a mystery with his pal, the Dorky Woodsman With The Salmon-Colored Hat! It’s fun to pretend!
Anonymous
March 1st, 2010 at 12:01 am [Reply]

Wilbur and his not-son have escaped into the past to Kill Mary Worth’s mother. Sly boots!
JP (not Judge Parker)
March 1st, 2010 at 12:02 am [Reply]

@mollificent (#2): If it’s any consolation, you weren’t the only one who had to do a double-take there. It’s going to take me at least a few minutes to burn that image out of my brain.
Topliff
March 1st, 2010 at 12:02 am [Reply]

I assume it is a head start Wilbur is giving him, although the fact that they were in t-shirts the past several days, and were very tactile does make one wonder what caused them to get dressed and resulted in Kurt being clean shaven.
Naked Bunny with a Whip
March 1st, 2010 at 12:02 am [Reply]

Grilling Marvin in the kitchen doesn’t sound like a good idea to me. That’s what ovens are for.
Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
March 1st, 2010 at 12:03 am [Reply]

Man, that image of Wilbur and Kurt in panel two looks just like something out of Josman. Or The Sound of Music. At this moment, I half expect Wilbur to utter, “You’ll never be one of them.”
BigTed
March 1st, 2010 at 12:11 am [Reply]

Is it my imagination, or is Kurt getting younger from day to day? Now his veiled heritage and his strange bond with Wilbur make sense — he’s actually Wilbur’s long-lost brother, the one with Benjamin Button Disease.
Jonn
March 1st, 2010 at 12:12 am [Reply]

Dithers’ heel isn’t on Dagwood’s throat; it’s on his bowtie, the source of his power.
Red Greenback
March 1st, 2010 at 12:12 am [Reply]

That must be Thai in the lower-right corner of the panel. Not that I would know anything about that, someone once told me they have very large leaves.
Marion Delgado
March 1st, 2010 at 12:14 am [Reply]

Cathy Guisewaite is going with her strength. There’s so boring you pass it by, and there’s so boring that something about it catches your attention … it’s postmodern boredom … so boring that you wonder, how did she do it? In this case, the trick is to do a week-long single strip on expensive skin cream, with the same dialog simply rewritten a little every day.
BigTed
March 1st, 2010 at 12:21 am [Reply]

I know you have to suspend your disbelief for “Beetle Bailey” to work, but are these soldiers who’ve spent their careers on a quiet U.S. base really complaining that their lives are too hard? If they want to “get away,” I think the Army knows where to send them.
Mary Worthless
March 1st, 2010 at 12:22 am [Reply]

WoW, the NAMBLA overtones in the art of today’s MW knocked me over. I mean, has Kurt regressed to 12?
Uncle Lumpy
March 1st, 2010 at 12:27 am [Reply]

Judge Parker’s attorney Sam Driver impersonates an insurance adjuster and blabs client-confidential information for his author pal to publish. Apartment 3-G’s psychiatrist Aristotle Papagoras passes out pills like Tic-Tacs and schtupps his patient. When will Mary Worth’s Dr. Jefferson Cory confess to his Vicodin habit and Vietnamese slave camp?
BigTed
March 1st, 2010 at 12:28 am [Reply]

That 20-foot snowdrift surrounding Marvin’s house actually looks incredibly dangerous. It’ll be a lot less enjoyable to make fun of the little tyke if it turns out his behavior is caused by carbon-monoxide poisoning.
seismic-2
March 1st, 2010 at 12:34 am [Reply]

JP: This is almost surely Diego Barreto’s artwork, since I don’t recall that Eduardo made the square-jawed guys look so much like Adam “Batman” West. It is a good style for JP, however, especially those times when nothing is happening, which in JP is almost always. For instance, today he adds variety to the yak-yak-yak by interrupting the back and forth between the two characters and showing instead some back-and-forth overheard through a window. This innovation must come as a revelation to Jack Elrod, who would have had the dialog coming from a giant pigeon on the windowsill. But what gives with Woody Wilson’s script? All this build-up, only to have the entire plot resolved completely unseen? How in the world does that work? What’s next – will it just casually be mentioned that after the hot widow D’Vito gave the money back to Henry Barber in the jail, she stopped off at the stadium to win a cheerleader try-out?
Oregonian
March 1st, 2010 at 12:41 am [Reply]

Say what you will, I think it’s sweet that Wilbur and Kurt go out in the woods to sing show tunes together.
Poteet
March 1st, 2010 at 12:42 am [Reply]

@BigTed (#9): Nope, it’s not just you — I wondered it about it a thread or two ago. But the Benjamin Button explanation hadn’t occurred to me. Now I wonder if there’s some way we could speed up the process.
Rusty
March 1st, 2010 at 12:44 am [Reply]

Blondie: This panel is meant to represent capitalistic robber barons oppressing the bourgiousie. Or Mr. Dithers is just a raging dick.

Marvin: Mr. Marvin scored a pair of Dagwood’s pajamas.

MW: Kurt and Wilbur make their way through the Lost Forest to meet throwback Cherry Trail.
Ed Dravecky
March 1st, 2010 at 12:48 am [Reply]

Gasoline Alley finally suggests a positive step forward out of our nation’s financial crisis: poisoning the bankers. Kudos, Mr. Scancarelli!

Ha! Momma is funny because (a poorly-drawn figure that we’re left to presume is) Francis will soon freeze to death, as will all of the other people presumably trapped on the ski lift with him. “Tips up” means “tips up”, folks.
Jumper
March 1st, 2010 at 12:48 am [Reply]

Grilling is so ’90s. I suggest cooking Marvin sous vide in duck fat for 12 hours, then a quick deep-fry with a panko crust and a cardamom and nutmeg sauce.
Mibbitmaker
March 1st, 2010 at 12:52 am [Reply]

BBailey: Apparently, the general was too busy to show up and say “Now what?” Shirking your duty, eh, Halftrack?

JP: Stella was Nixon’s secretary during Watergate.
Mibbitmaker
March 1st, 2010 at 12:56 am [Reply]

@Mibbitmaker (#23): …and Stella framed Rosemary Woods for the erasure. No fallgal this time, so the tapes remain.

Next: Iran-Contra.
Tim Cavanaugh
March 1st, 2010 at 12:57 am [Reply]

Going from Barreto to last week’s guy was like going from Russ Meyer to, um, some hypothetical director who casts only plain girls with below-average racks.
DavidMac
March 1st, 2010 at 12:57 am [Reply]

BLondie: Let this lesson be known to all under-50 somethings: Do not mess with the geezers . They will open a old but volitile can of whup ass.
Baka Gaijin
March 1st, 2010 at 12:59 am [Reply]

Mary Worth: Yeah, right now Wilbur, like a small child on Christmas morning, is infatuated with Kurt but in about a week it’ll all be sandwich, sandwich, sandwich.
Jimmyleg Jehosephat
March 1st, 2010 at 1:00 am [Reply]

Kurt may indeed be a time-traveler, as he keeps changing from scraggly post-adolescent to today’s incarnation as 14-year-old Jonny Quest look-alike. In any case, his real father, the richie creep, deserves some credit for the inevitable second and virtual cuckolding after the long twenty years have passed. This sort of delayed comeuppance is perfectly deserved by Wilbur’s bumbling committed cluelessness. But a tad too easy.
Steve L
March 1st, 2010 at 1:01 am [Reply]

Either Kurt and Wilbur brought a change of clothes or they’ve been scouting Mark Trail’s house for their next big heist.
FOOBed again
March 1st, 2010 at 1:06 am [Reply]

@mollificent (#2): I read it that way too.
Donkey Hotey
March 1st, 2010 at 1:06 am [Reply]

To get serious for a moment, I just ran across an absolutely beautiful and heart-wrenching Pearls Before Swine Sunday strip from 2003 (before I knew of the strip’s existence). It captures the tragedy of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict in a way that’s both visceral and thought-provoking. Don’t click if you’re easily moved.
Donkey Hotey
March 1st, 2010 at 1:09 am [Reply]

Sorry, I should have used this link.
Carly
March 1st, 2010 at 1:15 am [Reply]

Wilbur appears to be dressed for a day at the office, not a hunt. Interesting choice, but does he really want to risk getting blood on those greys?
Poor Thompson
March 1st, 2010 at 1:19 am [Reply]

Read all together, “Beetle-Killer Plato” sounds like the name of some overpriced action figure one would see advertised on a commercial between Saturday morning cartoons.
Walker of Dog
March 1st, 2010 at 1:21 am [Reply]

@BigTed (#16): Forget the effect of CO on Marvin’s behavior – what is its potential impact on his flavor and tenderness?

@mollificent (#2): “…a bit of a head”? Typical Wilbur – can’t fully commit to anything.

SM: That’s a pretty lackadaisical rescue effort from Miami FD (Will it really take too long to raise the ladder? Couldn’t you start the process just to be sure? I mean, you’ve already got the ladder truck just sitting there.)

Maybe Peter has finally found a home – someplace where shiftlessness and dereliction of duty are celebrated, not condemned. Some day, with Mary Jane’s alimony checks, he’ll be able to retire comfortably from… oh, wait, here’s where it falls apart. Don’t you have to retire from something?
Poteet
March 1st, 2010 at 1:23 am [Reply]

3/1

A3G — Time for my monthly shout to Lu Ann. Halloooo, Lu Ann, wherever you are! Write when the Wizard gives you brains!

FW — Geez, it’s about ferking time.

MW — Wilbur, you desperately need advice from Fashion Police. Please listen to the wisdom of FP. Outfit-wise, you’ve been going from bad to worse, and I do mean worse.

S-M — Isn’t the fourth floor not really all that high, and aren’t firefighters pretty good at deploying ladders quickly? If I were a real firefighter in Miami and were following this very lame story, I’d be pretty annoyed at this point.
Walker of Dog
March 1st, 2010 at 1:28 am [Reply]

SM edit: @Walker of Dog (#35): SM edit: Scratch that slam on the firefighters – my mistake. I just noticed the giveaway in panel 7: she’s a Gator fan. They’re letting her burn.
True Fable
March 1st, 2010 at 1:29 am [Reply]

Monday morning snark

Sam Driver’s Pretty People Posse! “I’m afraid she does expect that…and don’t call me Shirley!”

Mary, Destroyer of Worlds Aaww Wilbur. I’m so sorry your playmate hadda go home early.

Freakin Winkerbean Well it’s about goddamn time they decided to help Wally. Stand back, I’m going to rant a little and it won’t be pretty.

Fuckin A, take Wally to the VA and get some help for him! This whole storyline is just so unrealistic it stinks. Anyone with Wally’s war record and experience would have been welcomed home like a hero after an appropriate stint in a VA hospital already to help him work out his anxieties and problems, long before he came home! He would not have come slinking home as if he did something wrong by surviving his personal hell; he’d have been welcomed home a hero. Damn you Batuik, damn you and your “it’s all about the One-Armed Wonder” and “poor old creepy loser Comic Book Guy” and your “let’s make Wally just totally pathetic without so much as a safety net from the Army”. Unless your whole goal is to try to make it like Wally fell through the cracks somewhere, all you’ve done is give the Armed Forces short shrift. Fuck you, Batuik. /rant

The Amazing Firemen “Spiderman must do something…like stand here a little longer and reflect upon the fact that I did not bring my costume, while the woman on the fourth floor roasts! Too bad she’s not Michael Patterson trying to recover his laptop for no good reason! I bet Lynn Johnston would have found a way for her to be improbably saved from certain death with some lame reason like ‘he’s a Patterson’! yeah, she’s probably a Patterson, so I won’t have to budge an inch and get my hair mussed.”

Scenes from Suburban Hell Hi realizes he is a Plugger.
Zla'od
March 1st, 2010 at 1:31 am [Reply]

Ooo, I had to blink for a minute. I thought you wrote that Wilber is giving Kurt “a bit of head.” And doesn’t he look positively angelic, like a Hitler Youth poster, as he leads Clark Kent-hatted Wilber into the woods?
bats :[
March 1st, 2010 at 1:37 am [Reply]

@Donkey Hotey (#31): Jeebus. Amazing and sad.
seismic-2
March 1st, 2010 at 1:43 am [Reply]

I can hardly wait for the smackdown in the upcoming BB / A3G cross-over: Beetle-Killer Plato vs. Bobbie-Piller Aristotle.
Uncle Lumpy
March 1st, 2010 at 1:46 am [Reply]

Am I missing something? Miller party? Google is teh useless on the point, so I have to wonder if you don’t mean Donner party?
newday
March 1st, 2010 at 1:49 am [Reply]

@Donkey Hotey (#31):

(I tried to Preview my reply and it expired the webpage.)
Hearing Pastis’ voice on a sad subject like that is so moving. It reminds me of the strip about his father-in-law.

http://comics.com/pearls_before_swine/2010-02-07/
Red Greenback
March 1st, 2010 at 1:51 am [Reply]

Is Wilbur wearing his Wendyman uniform under that suit?
Steve the Pocket
March 1st, 2010 at 1:55 am [Reply]

@Uncle Lumpy (#42): Apparently Miller is the family’s last name. I had a hunch and checked Wikipedia. I dunno if Josh had to look it up too, but it would not surprise me at all if after all these years of reading and analyzing the funnies, he just remembered.

Also, how is Dad supposed to fire up the grill if they’re snowed i–

“I. SAID…. I’LL. FIRE. UP. THE. GRILLLLLLLLLLLL. >:{ ”

OK! Geez!
Uncle Lumpy
March 1st, 2010 at 1:59 am [Reply]

@Steve the Pocket (#45):

Aha! Thanks.
seismic-2
March 1st, 2010 at 2:04 am [Reply]

In a snowed-in house, carbon-monoxide poisoning would be a sweet release from the stench of Marvin’s diapers.
boojum
March 1st, 2010 at 2:05 am [Reply]

@Jumper (#22):
Cardamom and nutmeg foam. Preferably cold-smoked, then frozen into pearls by nitrous oxide.
Mibbitmaker
March 1st, 2010 at 2:06 am [Reply]

3/1:

A3G: …by Jack Handey.

The Legal Mind of Edison Lee: They should pass a law to reel in frivolous Edison Lees.

RMMD: Abbey the Wonder Dog’s “ARF ARF ARF” is now a “WOOF WOOF”. This is serious.

MW: Aw, I’ll miss their hilarious frollicking!

MT: And thanks to Mark Trail, the environment wins yet another battle! Wait, what — ??

Mutts: See, comics? THAT’s how you do a pun.

DtM: More from the future Lockhorns.
boojum
March 1st, 2010 at 2:06 am [Reply]

I mean, liquid nitrogen.
True Fable
March 1st, 2010 at 2:10 am [Reply]

Apartment of Doom What do you want to bet that Crazy Lady will see Tommie with the Professor and go ballistic on them, not realizing that a meeting with Tommie is about as sexually charged as a toothache and not nearly as interesting?
Mibbitmaker
March 1st, 2010 at 2:14 am [Reply]

HELP! The black & white comics are trapped in February!!
UnclGhost
March 1st, 2010 at 2:16 am [Reply]

Today’s Luann channels TDIET, almost down to the phrasing the characters might have used, only without as many y’knows or “The Urge” explicitly stated.
troutmaskreplica
March 1st, 2010 at 2:27 am [Reply]

Dithers’ method of abuse is straight out of Deadwood.
True Fable
March 1st, 2010 at 2:30 am [Reply]

9 Dickweed Lane Her German boyfriend is going to get shot or something. Maybe that will explain why she turned out to be such an incredibly bitter, hateful old stinker in her golden years.

Loserann Luann has her cake but only wants to eat one, and keep the other on standby.

Brewski Rockit Interesting true fact about the moon drifting away from the Earth an inch a year. Maybe Brewster will fly Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck up there to blast it back toward Earth!
Uncle Lumpy
March 1st, 2010 at 2:32 am [Reply]

@UnclGhost (#53):

UnclGhost, answer me one question: are these the shadows of the things that will be, or are they shadows of things that may be, only? I have a vested interest in this matter.
Here Come ole Flattop
March 1st, 2010 at 2:48 am [Reply]

@True Fable (#38): Thank you sir. I’ve said the same, previously, but it fell on deaf ears. A real quitter, I only served for 21 years and I have NEVER seen anything as terrible as this. BTW, I fell and broke my elbow while running in January and went to the San Diego Medical Center (Balboa Naval Hospital) and while there, I saw three guys learning to walk on “fake legs”. These three guys were smokin’ and jokin’ and demonstrated a survival attitude this idiotic hack of a comic (loosely attributed) could never understand. I remembered, that day, why I stayed in the military.
Ed Dravecky
March 1st, 2010 at 3:11 am [Reply]

Mary Worth: We missed out on two weeks of Kurt and Wilbur frolicking? I’ll bet several internet dollars that the paperwork in Dawn’s hand is the results of that paternity test and Kurt has skipped town. I only hope we don’t get a “the results don’t matter” cop-out and never find out for sure.
Jason1981
March 1st, 2010 at 3:21 am [Reply]

3/1

Curtis: Wow, usually Billingsley waits at least a couple of weeks before repeating the same plot with slightly different words. This time, he only waited a few days.

S-M: “Costume or no costume, Spider-Man must do something! Now, where’s the nearest tv, so I can find out what’s going on? “
Anonymous
March 1st, 2010 at 3:22 am [Reply]

Funky: Tomorrow we learn that Wally was never actually in the military but thanks to some meth and a brain tumor he had spent a wild weekend terrorizing the residents of Dearborn.
AM
March 1st, 2010 at 3:23 am [Reply]

MW: Kurt is gone…
…and, apparently, he took my pants!
MarvinAndroid
March 1st, 2010 at 3:39 am [Reply]

So this is totally unrelated to any of today’s comics, and you’ve probably already seen it before, but Yahtzee of the semi-popular internet vidyagamey review thing Zero Punctuation has a Comics Curmudgeon reference in one of his old reviews from 2007. You can find it around the 1:20 mark here: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/8-Halo-3.
aristos_achaion
March 1st, 2010 at 3:40 am [Reply]

You know, most people aren’t so happy about the boss “giving everyone the day off” these days.
Mr. O'Malley
March 1st, 2010 at 3:47 am [Reply]

FW: To be fair to Batiuk, it’s not only veterans’ healthcare that he presents a warped view of. There’s also cancer care and the economy of a town whose only businesses are two restaurants and a comic book store, all the other residents being government employees. And if I knew anything about operating a pizzeria, I would probably find his portrayal of that unrealistic too.

MW: Two weeks later? What about the test results? I hope that Kurt got on the computer and cleaned out Wilbur’s bank account before he left. At least he made the bed. Nothing worse than being robbed by an untidy bandit.

What’s with the “ceiling fan’s eye view”? Running low on purple ink?

MT: We’re going to ban float planes and only allow canoes on a lake that only has canoe access through Dead Man’s Rapids.

I like the head sizes in the third panel. First Ben’s huge head, then the senator’s medium size head, and then Mark with a teeny tiny head. Did Mark sneak away for a canoe trip to Borneo while we were learning about the artic tern?

Yahoo comics are working (partially) but the other sites seem to have problems.

OBH: For a minute I thought she said “call girl Barbie”. I suppose Cali Girl Barbie has a hidden compartment for smuggling cocaine?
Just some guy
March 1st, 2010 at 4:04 am [Reply]

I can tell it’s not Eduardo Barreto.
Not sexy enough.
seismic-2
March 1st, 2010 at 4:24 am [Reply]

3/1
GT: “Have I ever had a student speak in tongues or spontaneously combust? Well, duh – have you forgotten what strip this is? Whoops, there goes another one up in flames, now!”
Sheila Sternwell
March 1st, 2010 at 4:25 am [Reply]

@Digger (#3): I, too, wonder if they time traveled to the 1940s. They both certainly got younger by at least 10 years apiece.
Scott Spencer
March 1st, 2010 at 4:59 am [Reply]

Wilber: “Kurt, before today’s hike, we need to go over some survival skills. If you’re attacked by a bear, play dead. If you’re attacked by a nature enthusiast, shave your face. If you’re attacked by me, then *stop eying my sandwiches*.”
Alfred E. Neuman
March 1st, 2010 at 5:01 am [Reply]

@mollificent (#2): Josh probably made a typo when he wrote, “A laughing Wilbur is giving his smiling not-son a bit of a head before he starts hunting him for sport.”
What did Josh really mean to write? My guesses:
1)…a bit of a head start…
2)…a butt to the head…
3)…a bit of head… (Your favorite, and where’s Dingo?)
4)…a bitch slap to the head…
5)…a bitter with a head…
6)…a bittern head…
7)…a bituminous head… (Make up your own coal chute jokes.)
and lastly
8)…a bite of a head… (Oww!)
Mars
March 1st, 2010 at 5:22 am [Reply]

S-M: “There’s no time to reach her with the ladder!”

Am I missing something here? Unless the entire building is about to explode, there should be plenty of time to reach her with the ladder. At least using the ladder would be far quicker than what Parker’s thinking of doing.
Mr. O'Malley
March 1st, 2010 at 5:46 am [Reply]

@Alfred E. Neuman (#69): Ah yes, the Bittern’s Head, where they know how to serve a pint of bitter with a head! And if you speak nicely to the barmaid, she might give you … well … over by the coal chute … one of those alternatives …

One of the great traditional Irish songs is An Bunnán Buí (The Yellow Bittern). The poet, Cathal Buí Mac Giolla Ghunna, sees a dead bittern on a frozen lake—dead of thirst because the lake is frozen. He says he is saddened more than hearing of the fall of Troy (Irish poets were brought up on the classical Greek and Roman authors.) He remarks on the resemblance with himself, also nicknamed Buí (yellow). He says his girlfriend is telling him that drinking will kill him, but the evidence here points to the opposite conclusion. He concludes by saying that we might as well have a drink now as we won’t get one after we die.

Clannad recorded a very nice version of this song back in the 1980s. Of course Máire Ní Bhraonáin’s father owned a pub, so it might be considered advertising.

“A man who would make a pun would pick a pocket”, but look where punning can take you.
TruthOfAngels
March 1st, 2010 at 6:13 am [Reply]

Mutiny! Large breasts! Baby-eating! Torture! Barely-concealed homoeroticism!

Today is the best Monday ever.
John C Fremont
March 1st, 2010 at 7:56 am [Reply]

I wonder how I’d never noticed before that Wilbur Weston is shaped like a bullfrog. Live and learn, I guess.
Tommy
March 1st, 2010 at 8:09 am [Reply]

Dither’s face is so crazy looking! It actually says this hurts me more than it hurts you. It’s so twisted with emotion.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
March 1st, 2010 at 9:15 am [Reply]

A3G: “Yes, deep thoughts. Deep, thrusting thoughts that repeat with a rapidly increasing rhythm, deeper and deeper, until—Oh, Tommie, are you still here?”

JP: I’m a little surprised that Gloria can lift that piece of paper with that shortened, Madonna-esque arm and shriveled claw. It’s a good thing the rest of her looks so good.

MW: Wilbur, getting a look at you in those white shorts was probably the last straw, breaking the back of Kurt’s genetic hopes and wishes.

MT: Mark just wants to know when everyone’s going to take his pants off.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
March 1st, 2010 at 9:16 am [Reply]

@DavidMac (#26): Over 50 = geezer? As a very non-geezer almost-50 year old, I’m not sure what I think about that—other than contemplating opening my own volatile can o’ whup-ass. =-)
The Klute
March 1st, 2010 at 9:28 am [Reply]

Wilbur’s obviously running late for his gig as an Elvis Costello impersonator at the local Indian casino. Fortunately, Kurt knows that Lassie can find a shortcut! Show us the way, girl! Show us the way!
Anonymous
March 1st, 2010 at 9:40 am [Reply]

Mary Worth treats us to a flashback of what Kurt and Wilbur’s relationship would have been like if they had been together when Kurt was twelve, if Kurt had been twelve in 1955.
tbiggs
March 1st, 2010 at 9:46 am [Reply]

#20 Rusty -

All the more delicious, since Dagwood used to be an upper-class drone until his parents disowned him for marrying Blondie. But I think your second suggestion is closer to the truth.
Jerseygull
March 1st, 2010 at 9:48 am [Reply]

@Donkey Hotey (#32): That “Pearls” strip was one of my favorites. I was working for a newspaper when it originally ran, and we got so many complaints about it from people who objected that the comics were supposed to be “funny” that it made me seriously look at the strip for the first time. Pastis does some amazing work.
OKStan
March 1st, 2010 at 9:49 am [Reply]

While Blondie had me cheerfully pondering “penalties” a few weeks ago in her sexy, SEXY referee outfit, I have to admit Mr. Dithers’ simultaneous throat trample and promise of water torture leaves me totally cold.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 1st, 2010 at 9:53 am [Reply]

Ah, so Dagwood is following Citizen O’Brien’s advice. “If you want to imagine the future, picture a boot stamping on a human face–forever.” Or a wingtip, as the case may be.
skeltometer
March 1st, 2010 at 9:55 am [Reply]

“Spider-Man” is going to rescue Mary Worth from her salmon-square freebasing-gone-wrong fueled apartment fire. This is going to be the best denouement EVER! Top THAT MJ, with your held-over stage acting off-Broadway extravaganza!
Mibbitmaker
March 1st, 2010 at 10:00 am [Reply]

ReFOOB: Yikes! ~ Panel 3 John looks like a blob with hands growing directly out of his chest-like area in the color version of the strip. This time, Lynn got even with Rod without even trying.
Terry in Silver Spring
March 1st, 2010 at 10:07 am [Reply]

Honestly, I think Wilbur and Kurt will be relieved at the DNA results and will openly begin to date.
Muffaroo
March 1st, 2010 at 10:13 am [Reply]

color chron:

A3G – “You must’ve been thinking deep thoughts.”
“Yes, my dear, long… hard… deep thoughts. Oh, do sit down.”
bourbon babe got up earlier than me.

Bizarro – Here’s one to tape to the lab fridge: Dr. Acula.

Curtis – Ah, flashback. Whenever a bully managed to get me mad enough to try and take an ineffective swing, I could count on being seen by a school official who would march me into the office and slowly play with The Paddle while giving me a lecture about how only animals settle their problems with force.

Family – “What do you mean, ‘Any children?’? Are you blind! Just look at all the dotted lines in the yard!”
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 1st, 2010 at 10:15 am [Reply]

“T-Rex Morgan, MD” made my day, on the webcomic end of things.

sadly, my snark is weak again when it comes to the funny pages.
Muffaroo
March 1st, 2010 at 10:15 am [Reply]

Mary – “Kurt’s gone, without a clue! There’s nothing but a card on the floor of the room he was staying in. Hm. ‘The Old Maid.’ Must have just fallen there.” And in a secluded Charterstone apartment, hollow laughter echoes off the walls as a solitary figure raises a snifter of potato-smelling beverage in a toast. The fools! They never suspected a thing!

Popeye – Trick Pappy into seeing his secret treasure map? Where’s it tattooed, anyway? On his wedding tackle?

Spidey – Keep telling yourself you have to do something about the woman in the burning building, Pete. Then, when the last curl of smoke from the ashes blows away, you can say, “Hey! I was just about to do something!”

@Donkey Hotey (#32): Thanks.

@Here Come ole Flattop (#57): It didn’t fall on deaf ears. I already agreed with the point, and if I posted every time I agree with something someone says here, this would be The Muffaroo Channel.

spam glasses @73 – I will not buy this police sunglasses. It is scratched.
Cranky
March 1st, 2010 at 10:41 am [Reply]

@Naked Bunny with a Whip (#7): My first thought too. He’s just going to jump off the grill, unless you truss him. Why get so complicated? 425 degrees for 35 minutes. Turn and baste halfway. You’ll want to put a broomstick through the door handle to prevent him from pushing it open.
Calico
March 1st, 2010 at 10:43 am [Reply]

@Muffaroo (#89):
I prefer Fashion China Hats to police sunglasses, personally.
Anonymous
March 1st, 2010 at 10:48 am [Reply]

I dont know what it means that Wilbur and Kurt changed out of their underwear into their suits. Some sort of sick game finished, I guess.
Mordock999
March 1st, 2010 at 11:04 am [Reply]

Today’s – Luann – 03/01/10

Luann – “Let me EXPLAIN how this works, Gunth. Just because you’ve bailed my cute little ass out countless times and even sorta saved my life once, doesn’t mean I owe you, anthing. But I STIll, kinda, sort, almost like you because you MAY useful to me in the future.”

Gunther – “I STILL don’t understand. WHY do you like Quill then?”

Luann – “Why his Unbearably Good Looks, DUMMY! You see Gunther in Our Society it OKAY for a Girl to build relationships with a Guy based strictly on Looks. Its called making a SMART CHOICE. On the other hand If Guy does the SAME with a girl, then He’s a PIG, like my brother, understand?”

Gunther – “Oh, I get it now. So I’m clearly DOOMED.”

Luann – “No, no Gunthie. You’re like a nice warm SPARE tire that a girl can DEPEND on when she hit the potholes of life! And I ‘like’ you JUST as you are, but NOT EVER for romance, okay? Just be your NERDY, BRAINY, USEFUL self, and STOP being so pocessive!”

Gunther – “Oh, Okay…,”

Luann – “Good! Now, let Me give you a condescending ‘peck’ on the cheek, then go. I’ve got to get back to rehearsing with My Studly Quill! Say, where IS he?”

Gunther – “He’s over THERE talking to those four Unbearably Attractive Girls….,”

Luann – “HEY, You Witches! GET away from MY Man! He OWES me!!!”

_______________________

DEATH to TJ!!!
spike
March 1st, 2010 at 11:12 am [Reply]

@True Fable (#55): I figured Kiesl should’ve been murdered by his fellow prisoners after he taught Edith that ol’ French Resistance ditty, “Ce’”, while joining them in the Horst-Wessel-Lied.

I totally agree with your FW remarks @38 as well.
commodorejohn
March 1st, 2010 at 11:19 am [Reply]

A3G – “Hey, Tommie! Have I told you about my adventures in infidelity and trading sex for drugs?”

BB – Man, you fuck one dog…

Crankshaft – Ha! Ha! It is class japery! My sides, they ache!

Curtis – Come on, Billingsley! I bet you can stretch this out for another week!

FC – Oh hell.

FW – Yeah, I can’t imagine why you didn’t do that in the fucking first place.

GT – Kaz, you heartless bastard.

JP – Man, what is it with comics and demonizing people who want a reward for their acts of charity? First Cue, now Stella…

MT – Mark Trail wants you to appreciate representative democracy! And punching!

MW – Aw man, we missed out on two weeks of ridiculous and unsettling frolickery? Boo!

MC – My dad did this once. We’ve never let him live it down.

Phantom – Would someone please explain to me what the hell that thing in the first panel is? It’s like an ATM, a videophone, and a minicomputer had a three-way and this was the baby.

RMMD – Oh nifty. Nolan doesn’t get a lot of opportunity to cut loose and do cool stuff, but when he does he certainly takes advantage of it.

SFx – A: Slylock knew that Weirdly was innocent after checking his electric meter; the kilowatt/hours registered were insufficient to power a laser of that magnitude.

SM – I haven’t pulled out this panel in a while…
commodorejohn
March 1st, 2010 at 11:25 am [Reply]

Luann – Wow, nice one, Gunther. That look of icy disdain for Luann not wholeheartedly throwing herself at you was probably almost as effective as actually stating your interest in pursuing a relationship with her. You whiny little bitch. I hope she asks you to be her maid of honor.
Thomas B.
March 1st, 2010 at 11:26 am [Reply]

Marvin

When snow covers the first floor of your home you have two big problems 1) Where do you walk the dog, 2) How do you get Marvin’s forever soiled diapers out of the house.
Old School Allie Cat
March 1st, 2010 at 11:37 am [Reply]

The fact that I had to go looking for 9CL because Chron.com went tango uniform this AM shames me deeply. I never realized I actually gave a petite merde about this storyline until it was jerked away from me.

I feel a little sick.

I also feel a little guilty, because I keep hoping that she’s pulling a Benjamin Button on us and she’ll keel over just as soon as she’s done with her tall tale.
Stij
March 1st, 2010 at 11:42 am [Reply]

MW: And Frolicmania continues unabated. This is just too much. Moy and Giella must be in on the joke by now…maybe they’re actually a couple of 20-something ironic hipsters?
tb4000
March 1st, 2010 at 11:48 am [Reply]

Blondie: I like how in Dag’s dream, his cries for help go unnoticed by the other mindless drones whose spirits are slowly being broken by the J.C. Dithers company. Just like the real world, eh Daggie old boy?
rocketbride
March 1st, 2010 at 11:50 am [Reply]

As Georgo Orwell so rightly put it, “If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a sandwich-lover’s face–for ever.”
Thomas B.
March 1st, 2010 at 11:50 am [Reply]

Has anyone else looked at today’s Mary Worth?

“Two Weeks Later”

How do you just jump two weeks ahead like that? That means we missed 336 hours of “The Westons”. That’s 112 hours worth of olive loaf sandwiches. 68 hours of fishing. 140 hours of computer time. 10 hours of the family slapping their faces and yelling “whoa.” 6 hours of Sanka with Mary. And don’t get me started on the visuals we missed.

We were shorted roughly 52 panels ( 3 panels per day for 12 days and 8 panels for 2 Sundays). That’s 11 shots of the outside of the building. About 27 missing limbs. 14 walls/windows that appear from nowhere. 21 different computers. 51 costumes changes (for Dawn alone). 39 hands on a face. And the most interesting thing of all: We missed the earth shattering event that gave Wilbur the confidence to wear WHITE SHORTS!!

How in the name of Batiuk does something like this happen?!
Katie
March 1st, 2010 at 11:52 am [Reply]

Looks like Rex Morgan left out the last panel, which should be sunset Miami skyline with the caption “YAAHHHHHHHH!” And then a fanboat. I mean, he’s got the Caruso glasses thing down so I just figured it was morphing into CSI: Miami.
rocketbride
March 1st, 2010 at 11:54 am [Reply]

oops, sorry, afkaben. i usually search before i comment.
Red Greenback
March 1st, 2010 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

Thomas B. -102: I smell a COTW!
Amateur
March 1st, 2010 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

#102 — Seriously! We’ve been gypped!

Curtis: I note that ‘Onion’ has moved from double quotes to single quotes around his name. I would wonder if this had any significance, if I thought Billingsley put any thought into this strip at all.
bunivasal
March 1st, 2010 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

The more time Kurt and Wilbur stay outside, the more difficulty I have remembering it’s not Mark Trail. Especially when Kurt, apparently sensing danger, paused the romp so that he could eliminate Trail-fist-attracting facial hair.
Robin
March 1st, 2010 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

Mollificent:

I was just about to write the exact same thing. I was worried that this was no longer the family-friendly blog I know and love. I’m pretty sure Josh is missing the word “start” there.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 1st, 2010 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

3/1 (Still no luck on chron B&W’s. Patched what I could from WaPo)

6C: It’s not so much the joke itself as the picture of the giddy security camera accepting the statuette that really brings this home.

RMMD: After taking down that hillbilly drug dealer a couple of years ago, I don’t think Toots was much of a challenge for Abby. Hell, the Morgans probably could drive him out with a trained hamster.

MW: Kurt must have taken a step back and gotten a good look at Wilbur in shorts. After that, flight was inevitable.

H&L: Hi talks about being baffled by all their gadgets, and Lois instinctively covers her boobs. She clearly doesn’t trust the digital camera.

Blondie: Okay, we always knew it would come to this sooner or later. The question remaining is, which family member will Dagwood eat first.
Hibbleton
March 1st, 2010 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

MW: You’d think that after all that frolicking Wilbur would’ve lost a few pounds.
HAMMY THE SQUIRREL!
March 1st, 2010 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

@Artist formerly known as Ben (#109):
TRAINED HAMSTER?! WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO RUN A TRAIN OVER A POOR LITTLE HAMSTER?
AndyL
March 1st, 2010 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

My first thought at seeing today’s A3-G was “This week in A3-G is going to be AWESOME. Bobbie is going to show up and recognize Tommie from the photographs.”

… Then I remembered that it’s Lu Ann in the photographs, not Tommie. So … another week of the Professor agonizing over a decision that will solve itself anyway.
Poteet
March 1st, 2010 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

@Old School Allie Cat (#98): So did you find it? I’m about to start my own search. Obviously there is something wrong with me, but I still need to read the damn thing.
Here Come ole Flattop
March 1st, 2010 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

@Muffaroo (#89): Super! If we sing it in harmony, it’ll be a movement and we can finally get this guy to remove himself from anything that smacks of reality (oh, too late; he’s already done that). Now, I have go back to the group W bench.
Anonymous
March 1st, 2010 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

Chron’s B&W’s are on line now.
AndyL
March 1st, 2010 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

Incidentally, I’m not sure what the professor is agonizing over.

He doesn’t seem to care that he’s dating a woman he’s prescribed pills for. He’s only upset because she’s married.

But … not really. Only on paper. They’re separated, She might as well be divorced, she’s just holding back on finalizing the paperwork until her PI can get enough dirt to really sting the guy in court.

So, Be guilty that you’re dating a pill-popper that you’ve prescribed pills for. Or be worried that you’re dating a manipulative bitch, … but really, the whole “married woman” angle isn’t that big of a deal.
mollificent
March 1st, 2010 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

Thanks for the *cough* heads-up! ;)
HAMMY THE SQUIRREL!
March 1st, 2010 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

@Anonymous (#115): BEAVERS & WALRUSES?
mollificent
March 1st, 2010 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

@mollificent (#117): Dammit. That was a response to @Anonymous (#115).
Poteet
March 1st, 2010 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

@Here Come ole Flattop (#57): I agree too. One doesn’t have to be in the military to see the sorry cheap tricks being pulled in this story. I’ve been leaving the snarking and criticism to those more qualified, and thank you all for coming through.
Joe Blevins
March 1st, 2010 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

Marvin: There is no joke in this Marvin. Besides the logo panel, there is no Marvin in this Marvin. This is the best Marvin I’ve ever seen. No, honestly, I mean it. If the artwork for American Splendor were farmed out to Paws Inc., the result might turn out just like this.

MW: Clearly, Wilbur and Kurt brought a trunkload of costume changes with them for their woodland frolicking. And a good thing, too, as they’ve decided to stage a two-man production of Death of a Saleseman with Wilbur as Willy Loman and Kurt as Biff, apparently for the edification of the forest creatures. Enjoy your Arthur Miller, squirrels!
AndyL
March 1st, 2010 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

I wonder when that “Marvin” comic was drawn.

Check out that rotary phone.
Poteet
March 1st, 2010 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

9CL — “Then, wanting to pay the ultimate tribute to the song, tragic abandoned France, and the audience, I took all my clothes off.”
Professor Fate
March 1st, 2010 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

MW: Okay after weeks of a pace so slow only a turtle of downers could take it – we jump ahead two weeks? Why? And Wilbur is in shorts? Why? And did Kurt take all the mayonaise?

FW: My advice to the woman with the one arm. – just shoot them both, then leave the gun in Wally’s hand. Really, if the Police are as good at their job as doctors are in the funkyverse, Les will get the chair. A win, win yes?

As a side note: I notice that nobody says a word about the VA until he staged a major freak out which inconvienced Funky. Prior to that he was more than wiling to let Wally rot.

Luann: I’m whiny and I’m petualnt and I can’t tell the difference between reality and acting – take me in your arms.
TheDiva
March 1st, 2010 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

DT: So do it already! Sheesh, you can talk the talk…

FW: No, Becky, you can’t take away his gun until he shoots someone with it! Dammit, I want to see blood!

reFOOB: Okay, I have no problem with lingerie in general, but does anyone actually sleep in it? It’s not really designed for comfort…

Luann: “Oh gee, I’m so sorry Gunther, I wasn’t aware that you had an automatic claim on my affections after a certain period of time. Also, Quill has displayed more genuine charm and personality in six months than you have in the past ten years. Now don’t you have costumes to sew, or something?”

MW: I rescind my earlier statement. This is the most annoying non-ending since Delilah left Charley alone with his musicals and porn.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 1st, 2010 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

#111 Hammy the Squirrel,
Oh, the hamster doesn’t get hurt. His or her pride, maybe.

Meanwhile in Gil Thorp.
Ed Wynn: Goodness gracious, I didn’t come back to life just to get insulted.
HB Glord
March 1st, 2010 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

@Mr. O’Malley (#71): Sláinte, an tUasal Ó Maille.
CanuckDownSouth
March 1st, 2010 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

Luann’s Gunther needs to quit writing to “Elly Patterson’s Daily Column” for relationship advice.

Knowing her for a long time just means she may have had a better chance to figure out that you’re not right for her! I haven’t seen the endless past history if this strip, but based on how he acts now, of I were Luann, it would take me 5 minutes to figure out that I prefer some guy who has some other personality note than moping about me to the Gunth. Even if that guy turns out to not be “the right guy” either.

I’m sorry, Gunther, but if the Zombie Apocalypse leaves behind a sane woman + an unchanged you, the human race is extinct.
wossname
March 1st, 2010 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

@Old School Allie Cat (#98):

she’ll keel over just as soon as she’s done with her tall tale.

Do you think she’s ever going to be done? I started reading this strip around Thanksgiving, I think, and this is the only story arc I’ve ever seen.
Poteet
March 1st, 2010 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

MT — From “saving a wilderness,” which was the original mission, we’re down to “setting aside a small area of Paradise Lake just for canoes and family camping.” Thank you, MT. This makes me feel better about what happened to my original New Year’s eliminate-refined-sugar resolution, which is now down to “not eating chocolate quite so often, at least before 9 am.”
Baka Gaijin
March 1st, 2010 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

Apartment 3-G: Woo hoo! Panel 1 includes Tommie’s most-heard phrase while paradoxically panel 2 includes the phrase least likely to be spoken about her. And she says it!!!

Cathy: Irving, if you’re this freaked about not noticing the calendar, wait till you notice your wife! The home defibrillator app for your iPhone could come in handy.

Mary Worth: Tomorrow Wilbur’s all “sandwich sandwich sandwich!”

Blondie: You’re not fooling anyone Dagwood. If Massachusetts made man/sandwich marriages legal, you’d be fighting off Wilbur to be first to the courthouse in Boston.

Pluggers: Anything looks interesting when after your fourth Mescaline Colada of the morning.

Slylock Fox: Occam’s Razor states that the lack of massive amounts of sweat and stink lines emitting from the Count implies no recent exertion.
SWMBO
March 1st, 2010 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

@Thomas B. (#102):
My sentiments exactly. I feel cheated somehow.
HB Glord
March 1st, 2010 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

@Old School Allie Cat (#98): Ha!

I was going to use the phrase “tits up” in something i wrote a few days ago, but seeing that the subject i was writing about was someone with breast cancer, i substituted the phrase “all pear-shaped” instead. (That’s not much better, now that i take a hard look at those words.)

I should have used your radio code version instead. Where were you when i needed you? Oh, i remember now — right here all along. I was the one who was AWOL.

Good to see you, old friend!
HB Glord
March 1st, 2010 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

@wossname (#129): Keep your eyes on it, though. It may soon surpass the one Eero Saarinen erected in St. Louis.
Poteet
March 1st, 2010 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

DT — Why stop with your son? Grab a gun, you nimrod — they’re easy to find in this strip — and take out everyone in sight. You’ll be acclaimed.
gnome de blog
March 1st, 2010 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

Tommie, the secret daughter Mary Worth abandoned at birth, is about to go into meddle mode.
Will
March 1st, 2010 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

GT: Aw, poor Mr. Kessler.

On a more serious note, you don’t really think that going to the Funkyland VA hospital will be treated in any kind of positive way, do you? No, it’ll be the 9th circle of hell, and Wally will end up worse off, again.
Muffaroo
March 1st, 2010 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

9CL – “…and thirteen hundred men silently heard me out. …of the auditorium. Then Noel Coward came back and showed them his bottom and they went ape.”

Gil – “Well, not actually speak in tongues… though I am pretty sure a tongue was involved.”

Pluggers – Plugger perfectionism: “I was going to draw in a tail connecting the speech balloon to the chicken child. But it seemed like a lot of work.”

@Here Come ole Flattop (#114): Kid, whad ja get?
kkarenb
March 1st, 2010 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

@wossname (#129):
Story arc implies a beginning, middle and end. This is the most pointless piece of crap I have ever read.
Jamus The Bartender
March 1st, 2010 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

Luann: Okay. Let me get this straight. Gunther is costume chief slash designer for at least the half a dozen or so female dancers the ” I Feel Pretty” number is gonna require….that means he’s gotta make sure their stockings, dresses and etc. are all in working order. That means lots of quality time in the dressing rooms. With the women. And he’s still mooning over Luann. Somebody smack this boy. Damn, kids these days….
150
March 1st, 2010 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

I also read “Wilbur is giving his smiling not-son a bit of head” and, well, it didn’t seem out of place.
Poteet
March 1st, 2010 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

MW — Not only did we miss the test results, but we may never know how far Kurt continued his age regression. For all we know, he had to toddle really fast to get out that door and escape.
Jamus The Bartender
March 1st, 2010 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Okay. Yeah, I don’t want or need to see Elly in her lingerie. Really. Prayer and cold showers, John. Right now.
LP2004
March 1st, 2010 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#142): Or, perhaps, he regressed to a time prior to his own conception and simply ceased to exist.
nil zed
March 1st, 2010 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

@True Fable (#38): True, re: Freakin Winkerbean and the Wally Plot
NPR has done several shows focusing on just how lacking the psych treatment is for soldiers and returned soldiers. Lack of facilities, treatment by rote, with sodiers obediently mouthing the words that indicate ‘all better now’ and being released with things not being better. From what I’ve heard, the story being told about the VA is correct in an after school special sort of vaguely truthy way.

On the other hand, such an elaborate explanation for what happened to Wallly during the years the strip jumped wasn’t necessary to justify his mental state. Simply having been serving that long, holding it together for so long is stress enough and it’s not unusual for a people to benignly neglect a former soldier, just commenting ‘he’s changed’ and getting on with their own lives.

For me, the VA part of it rings true enough, but the back story is so pointlessly elaborate that it spoils the overall tale.

NZ
Renee J
March 1st, 2010 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

MW: It’s Kurt. He’s gone. And he took my pants.
Ned Ryerson
March 1st, 2010 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

March comes in like a lion… and swipes your pants!
wossname
March 1st, 2010 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

I wouldn’t be so sure that we’ve seen the last of Kurt. We don’t really know why he left – maybe he just went out to get a decent sandwich. I’m still betting that the DNA test shows they are related, and then, in a Twist of Fate, Wilbur will have to track Kurt down and beg him to come back.
Écureuil Écumant
March 1st, 2010 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

@42 Uncle Lumpy said:

Am I missing something? Miller party? Google is teh useless on the point, so I have to wonder if you don’t mean Donner party?

Indeed, our Holy Father has almost outdone himself with this doctrinal reference — but I believe here’s the gist of it: It refers to Beetle Bailey, where Beetle and friends have ascended to the roof as a means of “getting away from the lousy stuff on earth”. It immediately put me in mind of the Millerites, who did likewise, climbing onto the tops of hills (or into the treetops, on flat land) and waiting to be raptured on one of the various Ascension days proclaimed by their prophet William Miller. Oddly, references to this behavior are scarce as Snuffy’s teeth on Google — proving, perhaps, only that Google really does wish to “do no evil” by leading us theologically astray. However, Sam Clemens references the phenomenon in An Innocent Abroad, q.v.

Needless to say, as the Millerite saga prefigures, the Camp Swampy Cult will likewise have to come down off the roof like the Millerites, off the mountaintop like the disciples on the day of the Transfiguration, back to the swamp to work out their salvation with fear, trembling, KP and fifty-mile hikes.
commodorejohn
March 1st, 2010 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

@Uncle Lumpy (#42), @Écureuil Écumant (#149): I think the title actually has to do with the Marvin snark; the reference is to the Donner party, but Miller is the Marvin family surname.
UncleJeff
March 1st, 2010 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

MT: Am I missing something here? I thought the Parker Brothers ™ were beating up State Senator Whatshisname because they thought he was using a canoe to trespass on “their” side of the lake…endangering their right to run motorboats and aircraft and guns and stuff.
And now, the Senator is saying he’s changing his mind and will support the small resort owners and withdraw his support for legislation banning motors on the lake?
Maybe Mark Trail is right. The best “attitude adjustment” is a fist aside the head.
Here Come ole Flattop
March 1st, 2010 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

@nil zed (#145): Not to counter NPR or anything, but I visit the local VA center as part of what I feel I have to do (as a retired naval officer) and I don’t see the rote experiences of which you speak. What I see is real involvement in these returning members’ lives and real change being accomplished. In addition, there are many other organizations that are allied with the VA to assist them in their mission. For these returning members, having someone who’s been in their shoes (and not a medical health care provider) talk to them and relate our experiences is an additive benefit. Additionally, the military WILL NOT release someone who’s been held “captive” without a full and complete work-up. Just another reason I detest this storyline so much. . . (Me climbing off the soapbox, and didn’t mean to reveal so much personal information.)
caliban
March 1st, 2010 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

Holy crap. Mary Worth goes between time and timbuktu into the chronosynclastic infundibulum. Two weeks later.???? Nothing will ever be the same.
Écureuil Écumant
March 1st, 2010 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#150):

Oh, ye of little faith. Retro me, Satanas!
wossname
March 1st, 2010 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

@Here Come ole Flattop (#152): I’m very glad to hear, from somebody who knows, that the norm is for returning vets to get that much care and concern. (I’m also glad that NPR and others expose some of the cases where they are not getting the care they deserve.)
Thomas B.
March 1st, 2010 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

@Red Greenback (#105): Nice of you to say so, Thanks. If I had a vote for COTW it goes to this one. I crack up every time I read it.
Aviatrix
March 1st, 2010 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

@Mr. O’Malley (#64): The canoes have all been flown in over the years. Really: you can stick a canoe on the side of a float plane, but you have to strap it on blunt end forward or it creates lift and results in control difficulties.

@Thomas B. (#102): I feel cheated out of a fortnight’s worth of frolicking. I assume that as well as stealing Wilbur’s pants, Kurt has taken all the household valuables and emptied the bank accounts.
Josh
March 1st, 2010 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

Eeps, sorry for the scarring “bit of a head” typo above, everyone. I was indeed supposed to be “head start,” which I’ve now fixed.

Josh
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
March 1st, 2010 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

9CL — Anybody been able to find lyrics of this damnable occupied French love song yet?
Darkefang
March 1st, 2010 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

Curtis: Exactly how many times are we going to see slightly different variations of this same confrontation leading up to a Curtis punch? Does Billingsley think this is Dick Tracy?

FC: I’m not sure that reminding readers how much funnier Family Circus was 50 years ago is the best way to make sure newspapers don’t drop the strip in favor of something newer.

GA: Every time we get near the end of a storyline in Gasoline Alley, I think to myself that the next plot can’t possibly be more uninteresting. Yet every time, Gasoline Alley manages to come through with a story that descends to new depths of boring.
Little Guy
March 1st, 2010 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

@Katie (#102): Speaking of CSI:Miami, no one mentioned the Sunday cameo a few weeks ago in Spiderman? No snark? No YAAAAAAAHHHHH?
Thomas B.
March 1st, 2010 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#156): That Kurt left behind anything other than those orangy-brown sheets, a pair of Wilbur’s shorts, and Dawn’s favorite purple outfit goes without saying.
Dagger
March 1st, 2010 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

“No Kurt, that way lies Lost Forest! It’s littered with the skeletons of those who thought they could look into an ugly little boy’s eyes and not implode!”
NoahSnark
March 1st, 2010 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

The panel where Marvin’s parents realize that being snowed in means the diaper service is not coming was mercifully excised from the strip.
Devil in the Drain
March 2nd, 2010 at 10:11 am [Reply]

@Terry in Silver Spring (#85): “Honestly, I think Wilbur and Kurt will be relieved at the DNA results and will openly begin to date.” — COTW!

If only there were some online way of indicating that I laughed out loud at something, no, really, literally, I mean it.
Paul1963
March 2nd, 2010 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

This is way late, and I apologize if I’m not the first one to say this, but…

When I saw the Family Circus 50th-Anniversary strip on Sunday, my first thought was, “I wonder if there’s a strip from 1985 that looks just like this one?”

And then, on Monday, we learned that math is a weak point for the Keanes as the caption says “We start our 50th year…” No, no, no. The 50th anniversary means you just finished your 50th year. You’re starting Year 51.
nancy sluggo 4ever
March 3rd, 2010 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

doesn’t that beetle read much better if in the first panel you delete a ‘p’? “I’m finished moping now, Sarge.” “Then go outside and rake. And I fully expect you to start goofing off.”

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