The Comics Curmudgeon

93 responses to “A bunch o’ quickies”

1. Anonymous
   May 23rd, 2006 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

   Roach standards are changing.

   There was a memo on this.

   Go Check the bulletin board.

2. Ianscot
   May 23rd, 2006 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

   Roaches follow each other’s trails back to food and water.

   http://www.scienceblog.com/community/older/1998/D/199803128.html

3. shirky
   May 23rd, 2006 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

   stop feeding the cat

   1. no more food in dish to attract the roaches
   2. cat gets so hungry she eats the roaches

   problem solved!

4. Dan
   May 23rd, 2006 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

   Simple. Its not the lens that is blue. Rather, Grandpa was so frightened by the sudoku that he burst a blood vessel. Not only that, but the terror was so deep that it caused his blood to turn to ice water, thus making the afore mentioned burst blood vessel turn his eye a watery blue.

5. Mister Nobody
   May 23rd, 2006 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

   I’d suggest a pesticide but I got hammered for that the other day. Just a moderate ammount once a year along floor boards and under sinks is sufficient. No need to fog-bomb the joint. Keep the house well ventilated while using and you won’t be doing your body any more long term damage than you’d get while riding your bike through car exhaust on a typical city street. And you’ll be preventing the diseases carried by the disgusting little creatures that are pooping where your cat eats.

   I know there are people who are happy to share their living spaces with roaches (and lice for that matter), I’m just glad I don’t live in an apartment next door to them.

6. blueeyes
   May 23rd, 2006 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

   I’ll bite… Sudoku is a trademark for board games, card games, and puzzles, registered by Briarpatch Inc., of Milburn, New Jersey. (http://tess2.uspto.gov/bin/showfield?f=doc&state=a8ddsf.4.68) …I am such a geek.

7. blueeyes
   May 23rd, 2006 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

   I’ll bite… Sudoku is a registered trademark of Briarpatch Inc., of Milburn, New Jersey. (http://tess2.uspto.gov/bin/showfield?f=doc&state=a8ddsf.4.68) …I am such a geek.

8. Mister Nobody
   May 23rd, 2006 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

   Whoops. Looks like I went ahead and suggested pestidice anyway. Sorry.

   Regarding that “Momma” strip: Beyond the strange use of quotes, what the heck does that punch line mean?

9. Anonymous
   May 23rd, 2006 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

   Put the cat’s food bowl in a slightly larger and more shallow bowl of water – the roaches won’t cross the moat, and the food bowl won’t become occupied.

10. Pansy
    May 23rd, 2006 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    Roaches have been on this planet 180 trillion years, man! Until we take them to our leader as they so kindly asked us, they’re here to stay.

    Well, Josh’s roaches seem to be suffering from monsterism and that probably means they’re coming in from outside (they’re tree roaches). And when they’re coming in from the outside, I think that means they want water more than food. Maybe switch to dry cat food during the roach elimination process.

    If you’re in a sadistic mood, you might try nabbing one in action with a good dose of hair spray!

    I will give you one word of warning about those big tree roaches, though: they can FLY. Think about THAT.

11. BigJoe
    May 23rd, 2006 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    #7 – It means that Mell Lazarus has been stealing Johnny Hart’s “jokes”. (And I believe this is a legitimate use of quote marks.)

    E.g., the last panel of yesterday’s BC: http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2006/5/22&name=BC

12. LTC
    May 23rd, 2006 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    Tis humor-related It’s a play on the phoenetic reading of YUNOKLU as in

    YOU
    NO
    CLUE

    Right? See? Yes?

13. BigJoe
    May 23rd, 2006 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    #10 – Whoa! I wasn’t trying to type in the style of S…h…a…n…n…o…n.

14. Pappa
    May 23rd, 2006 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    The Punchline in Momma is meant to mean that the only chance Francis has to get on TV is to be on the Discovery Channel’s show World’s most Disgusting jobs as a subject of the vilest shit producer in the world and in need of some one to clean up after him.

15. BigJoe
    May 23rd, 2006 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    #13 – Did you mean Francis or the author of the strip?

16. Dan
    May 23rd, 2006 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    I think Momma was referring to that song by The Bloodhouse Gang:

    You and me ain’t nothing but mammals
    so let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

17. edward
    May 23rd, 2006 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    I once had a massive roach infestation, because I fooloshly kept shopping bags between the fridge and the wall. Made a perfect, cozy little nest for roaches. Took a bag out, and roaches exploded all over the floor. Which I didn’t enjoy.

    Love spiders, like having them around, would never kill one. Roaches I could do without.

18. Athena
    May 23rd, 2006 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    If you’d had a Jewish mom, you wouldn’t think the use of quotation marks in Momma all that strange. That’s exactly the intonation my mother would have given Momma’s response. More sardonic than your white-bread itals or bold-face

19. Hogenmogen
    May 23rd, 2006 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    If you think roaches are getting smarter, consider the situation. Roach #1 was crushed underfoot by a slipper-clad homo sapiens flailing his hands around and making a high-pitched, girly squealing noise. If roach #2 decided that was the most honorable way to depart this Earth, then I suggest that roaches are not becoming more intelligent. In fact, if they are on such a suicidal kick, one could deduce that if there were more of them, there would be less of them.

    Mallard Fillmore suggests that roaches are getting dumber because they are not allowed to pray to the great Roach God in public roach schools, because of wrongheaded, balding, bespectacled, tweed-wearing liberal roaches.

20. Marc
    May 23rd, 2006 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    MW: Yawn. Hopefully this story arc is wrapping up.

    But..roach control..well, I know one way to get them to leave one and for all…just get a newspaper clipping of Ritzilla holding a bottle of wine, and blow the picture up 100% at Kinkos. Post it on the back of foamcore and place it where cockroaches may enter. If all else fails, just write platitudes over the baseboards and that’ll scare ‘em away.

21. Tethys
    May 23rd, 2006 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    When I was in Borneo we used to just chase the roaches out of the house with a sweeping brush… but more effectively, we found their nest (my bedroom cupboard) and sprayed it full of mosquito repellent, then shut the cupboard door for a while. It didn’t kill them, but it confused them enough that we could catch them and throw them out the window.

22. Jim
    May 23rd, 2006 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    Dan – that’s the Bloodhound gang, and I’ll be sending you my therapy bills for making me think of Momma in that way. “Bad Touch” indeed.

    Also, is it a sign of Dilbert’s lameness or mine that my response to the strip was not amusment, but the thought, “Wait, wasn’t Dilbert fired? That noncompete is going to be hard to enforce in most jurisdictions…”

23. Hank Kimble
    May 23rd, 2006 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    Roach control. It’s fun but it’s dangerous. No open flames. Kids, don’t try this at home. When I was in my late teens, we had a mouse in our kitchen sink. (Garbage disposal side) Earlier, I was trying to get my ’73 Cutlass running. I noticed the starter fluid I was using contained ether.

    Anyway, seeing the mouse trying to get out of the sink gave me the creeps. I remembered when I was young and had an operation, they used ether to put me out. So, my thought was to spray the mouse with ether, knock him out, and dispose of him properly.

    Even though it was the 70′s, I remember what exactly happened. There was a knife in the sink. The intoxicated mouse pushed the knife over the garbage disposal to form a bridge. It really did! It then tried to cross the bridge. Much to my unthinking delight, it fell down the hole. Sorry folks, but I’m not the smartest guy on the block, I ran the water and flipped the disposal on.

    I didn’t know about PETA back then. My apologies to the person who lets bug out of her house to let them go into others dwellings. Did this really happen or did I just read it in Zippy the Pinhead?

24. kate
    May 23rd, 2006 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    roach control = get a bigger cat.

25. edgeways
    May 23rd, 2006 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    Dilbert is just a pro-corproate comic cleaverly disguised.

26. BassoGap
    May 23rd, 2006 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    Jim (#21) — Exactly. Dilbert will point out that the Non-compete Agreement is void if he’s fired. The company will then hire him back, so they can get control of his search engine. Somehow, the money won’t go to Dilbert, but Catbert will be rolling in it.

27. Library Cat
    May 23rd, 2006 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    I volunteer my services.

    Skills: In the past I have killed many smaller bugs and spiders with my bare paws; which I believe also makes me a Plugger. Larger species, including wood roaches, have been thwarted with a variety of implements and a minimum of flailing.

28. Moss_Moses
    May 23rd, 2006 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    I know Dilbert is “cutting edge” but what is it cleaverly disguised as? If it is really written by Halliburton or Bechtel then it fits right in with the klepto/corporatocracy in power now in the U.S.

29. Anonymous
    May 23rd, 2006 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    From Old Fogey, who has lost the ability to post as herself:

    Get roach baits. They are poison, but you put them under the sink and other places that the cat can’t get to. They work really, really well, and they come in different sizes for different size roaches.

30. Melissa
    May 23rd, 2006 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    #22
    Yes I really did catch a roach and accidently had it go into a neighbors apt. It doesn’t bother me so much about what other people do, to each his own right? I guess its an italian guilt thing. But I really feel if its me doing the killing. My boyfriend is terrified of any kind of bug so its up to me to do pest control. Oh, I read somewhere how house spiders are different from outside spiders and that I was actually killing the spiders by putting them outside, so now we have a couple of spiders that live with us. If one is on a wall near my boyfriend and bothering him I will catch it (usually just in my hand since spiders don’t gross me out) and carefully move it to another room. I’m just a nutjob I guess.

31. Hank Kimble
    May 23rd, 2006 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    29– You’re a nutjob? I spray mice with ether!

32. gnome de blog
    May 23rd, 2006 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    Anybody ever spray a bug with ethyl chloride? It freezes them but after a few minutes they thaw out and continue on their merry way as if nothing had happened. At least, so I’m told.

33. monkeyhawk
    May 23rd, 2006 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    I earlier tried to post the sure-fire cure to roach problems. I guess I got a little long-winded (but, trust me, it was essential, because most people I tell about this don’t believe me).

    Anyway. It died in cyberspace somewhere.

    Roach-Pruf since the 1980s.

    And I’ve also found the cure for ant invasions.

    It all depends on going to a *real* hardware store, not the Home Depot abominations, a funky-smelling store with an old guy in a vest.

    Trust me.

34. Andy
    May 23rd, 2006 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    I think the blue eyes are to represent one of those strange side effects of the Viagra that Grandpa took last night before his hopes were dashed yet again…

35. Grendell
    May 23rd, 2006 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    Mice are cute :(
    I remember once we were writing a test in school and some classmates started squealing because there was this huge 2-inch compact (by compakt I mean that it had a substantial body and wasn’t one of those flimsy spiders you can barely see) black spider crawling under my desk, heading for my school bag. Me and my deskmate snatched our stuff from the floor and were up on our chairs in no time. Our teacher just thought this was just some clever distraction to allow for cheating and was really annoyed. In the end she saw the spider and killed it. On second thought, I can’t imagine she killed it. She is more of a catch-and-set-free type of person.

36. lilybdcsa
    May 23rd, 2006 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    You guys are creeping me out. Ack! Bugs! Fortunately, we don’t have roaches in our area of the Pacific Northwest…..just earwigs. *shudder*

37. gradioc
    May 23rd, 2006 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    As soon as I read the comics today at lunch, I could not wait to get home and see what was being said on this site about the most disturbing thing I have seen in the comics in years. Dolly refers to Daddy Bil as OUR HUSBAND. Obviously Dolly believes it is time to confront Thel and let her know she is not the only one enjoying connubial bliss. Okay, maybe it is just a little Oedipal moment, but, MAN, that just hit me as creepy as Hell. Keane exploring the sexual fantasy life of a WAY prepubescent little girl is more than a little EEW inducing.

38. Anonymous
    May 23rd, 2006 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

    I once had an earwig crawl into my ear. Talk about EWWW! The school nurse poured mineral oil in my ear, killing it. Then I lay on my side for a while for the mineral oil to drain out. They gave me the earwig on a piece of gauze as a souvenir.

    (Old Fogey, still anonymous)

39. Monkey's Uncle
    May 23rd, 2006 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

    I can’t understand why nobody has suggested consulting Mark Trail about this roach dilemma. I’m sure he can take some time off from the ‘Casino road and the most boring boy on the planet’ story line to give you all the roach information you need. Check your paper Sunday.

    Please note I resisted my original instinct to go with a Cheech and Chong style joke in these circumstances.

    Your welcome.

40. Len
    May 23rd, 2006 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    I live on the ground floor of an apartment building. When the weather gets rainy, large cockroaches (called “waterbugs” in Noo Yawk) get flooded out of the basement and crawl upstairs to MY floor! Where they get sprayed by whatever’s handy (bug poison, air freshener, butter substitute, whatever), then I get the thick-soled shoes and go “crunch” while waving my hands and screaming like a girl. (I think Josh and I went to the same Nerd’s School of Manliness.)

    My most “Eww”-evoking experience was still the Summer morning that I went to change the cat’s food dish, and discovered that the food had all turned into writhing, wriggling maggots! No wonder Kitty kept as far away from “din-din” as possible. Yech. Smaller portions, and clearing out the bowl much more often, ensued. That, and I decided I preferred to be cremated over being buried when deceased, thank you.

    Baby animals are often cute, but not baby flies.

41. Martini-Corona
    May 23rd, 2006 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    Growing up, we had an insane cricket problem in our basement (doing laundry involved semi-frequent crunching sounds). At night 3 or 4 of them would journey all the way up the stairs and under the basement door and commit kara-hiri in our dog’s water bowl.

    I have no roach experience myself (knock on wood) but friends of mine found that theirs were getting in through the kitchen light fixture. Check your nooks ‘n’ crannies, Josh.

42. Donut
    May 23rd, 2006 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    Roach Control: Long ago in the land of roaches (aka Oahu), the favorite of undergrad chem majors was good old Boric Acid. It was cheap and easy (for us) to get ahold of.

    The roaches walk across it and get it on their little feetsies. They lick their feet to clean them, and it goes inside where it burns holes in their insides. A painful death, which roaches totally deserve.

    Best of all, you can also use Boric Acid as an antiseptic, and to treat athlete’s foot! This could take care of several “issues” around your house, Josh!

43. Fred P.
    May 23rd, 2006 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    Why you wanna hurt them roaches? Sure, they’re creepy little bug eyed monsters scurrying around behind the refrigerator and all, but you gotta admit they’re useful little bug eyed monsters. If not for their diligently eating away all the crap and god only knows what, society would be buried alive under mountains of our own refuse and spilt soda pop and other detritus. But by their ceaseless industy, the effluvia of modern life is transformed by Cockroach Magic from unloved waste product into the Miracle Of Life (in the form of thousands of new little cockroaches)! Saving civilization as we know it! So, god bless you, little roaches. Keep on keeping on, my many-legged brothers and sisters! Just, you know, don’t touch me. Or let me catch a glimpse of you. Ever. I’ll fuck your shit up, I swear to god! Had a roomate once, he saw one of them little fuckers crawling right up the wall -in broad daylight too!. Well, he kicked that bug so frickin hard he kicked a foot-shaped hole right through the drywall! Don’t TELL me those little bastards didn’t realize we meant business- not after that!!! Goddam little horrors never bothered us again!!!

    Also, Boric acid totally is the shit.

44. Bill Peschel
    May 23rd, 2006 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    Thank you, Fred, for your contribution. Now it’s time for your medication. :)

45. Marc
    May 23rd, 2006 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

    Gradioc–Thank you for reminding me! I almost forgot to mention that! It’s gross! “Our Husband?” It only lead me to think that the people at Dysfunctional Family Circus thought of it. But no, Bil Keane did, and wow, it mentions polygamy, and incest to a degree. Watch the letters to the N&O pile up.

    I can see it now:

    Dear Editor:
    How could you let such tasteless humor get published in your paper? I have been reading it for several years, and I feel that today’s Family Circus is not appropriate for my 4 year old’s eyes. How dare Bil Keane mention incest and polygamy.
    This country is falling apart. We are extremely fortunate to have George W. Bush guide us with his wisdom and kind nature. I miss the good old days of apple pies and nationalism!
    I think I’ll stick to B.C. thank you very much! At least Johnny Hart realizes how Christianity is superior over all.

    Anna Smith
    

46. Chance
    May 23rd, 2006 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    Maybe Momma is thinking of those Wild On… shows which are actually on the E channel, not the Disc channel. That is, the only way Francis will be on TV is if he’s telling some floozy to show us her you-know-whats.

47. DCBirdblaster
    May 23rd, 2006 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    Donut is correct. Boric acid does the job well. While in Japan, after we tired of turning the little buggers into flying fireballs we used this stuff that translates to “Roach Cookies”. It was basically dough that contained boric acid. After using it for about a month, we never had a roach problem again. I googled the recipe:

    Boric Acid Roach Exterminating Formula

    8 ounces powdered boric acid
    1/2 cup flour
    1/8 cup sugar
    1/2 small onion, chopped (optional)
    1/4 cup cooking oil or bacon drippings
    (or more to form a soft dough).

    Cream shortening and sugar, mix boric acid, flour and onion. Add to sugar, and oil. Blend well, then add more oil as needed to form a soft dough. Shape into small balls the size of marbles. (If balls are placed in opened, plastic sandwich bags, the dough will stay softer longer.) Place balls throughout the house in places normally inhabited by roaches (any dark, damp corner). Caution: Make sure no children or pet can come in contact with these balls, as it is toxic and keep out of direct contact with any food. When dough becomes brick hard, replace with a fresh batch.

48. monkey
    May 23rd, 2006 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    Based on your previous post outlining your approach to home pest control, your returning roach problem is obvious. Word has spread among the roach community. They’re coming back for the entertainment. They’re selling tickets. Better yet, you, unwittingly, are hosting “Roachian Idol:” A few dumb roaches audition for the “honor” of “performing” before their peers (where’s Margo when I need her?), so that they can get stomped on by a hysterical girly-man, (sorry Josh, it was in the advertising promo) and then the other roaches dial in on their little roachy cell phones to vote on which roach inspired the best fit of hysteria. The winner gets … how to equate this with American Idol, since all the contestants by definition get stomped to death?…. oh, I guess I answered my own question there.

    Anyway. Right on, Fred! But I say, instead of all the effort of the boric acid recipe, why not just call the Orkin Man or some other professional service that offers a MONEY BACK GUARANTEE so they have to come back whenever you see a roach, as long as you’re under contract. Just keep your cat clear the day they spray. Advice from the deep south.

    And yes, # 37 and #45: I was flabbergasted and agog by FC today… how else was that supposed to be interpreted????

49. Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
    May 23rd, 2006 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    I once found a bloated mouse floating belly up in the dog’s water dish. I think that’s much, much worse than a roach.

    I also don’t believe the 3″ length estimate. That’s the size of the amazing hissing cockroaches from Madagascar. Two inches, maybe. An inch and a half is more likely.

    [What's going on? I'm having trouble posting with Foxfire as well as Safari]

50. King Folderol
    May 23rd, 2006 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    The usage of quotes here by Momma is, in actuality, correct. Francis thinks he’ll actually get into Show Biz, whereas Momma is saying that the poor approximation (here, the Discovery Channel), is not Show Biz, thus the derisive use of quotes.

    A better example of a misuse of quotes was a billboard I saw once at a train station. A seedy looking man with a unibrow smiled leeringly at people getting off the train, and next to his scary visage was the name of his realty company. The tagline was We “Sell” Homes.

    What did that mean? Did he really sell homes, or did he just “sell” homes? Was he sneaking into people’s houses while they were on vacation, sticking a For Sale sign on the lawn, and “selling” the house while the poor saps were away, spending their retirement money in a sad effort to recapture their lost sexual vigor?

    Do idiots like Unibrow Real Estate Guy realize that the quotes make one doubt a claim and not believe it more?

51. Marc
    May 23rd, 2006 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    Sunday’s FoxTrot decoded:

    http://themadadmin.com/wp/?p=630

52. Mibbitmaker
    May 23rd, 2006 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    FC: Actually, today’s joke was originally supposed to be written for Soon Yi Previn, but she remembered that Mia and Woody were never literally married, so she sold the bit to Bil Keane.

    Herb & Jamaal: Aw, the androgynist being figured out by using a rest room, but the audience never getting to see which gender (s)he was, was done first…and better… on SNL (“It’s Pat!”)

    Momma: I think it’s because Francis said show biz first, and Momma’a just quoting his use of the term each time she says it. (“There’s no off button on the genius switch” – David Letterman, on TV right now behind me!)

53. Holy Prepuce
    May 23rd, 2006 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    I also think that “YUNOKLU” is meant to sound like a stereotypical Asian-with-poor-English rendering of “You have no clue.” To illustrate, try saying “YUNOLKU” immediately after reciting either Me Chinese Me Play Joke (a.k.a. “The Coke Game”) or Chinese Japanese.

54. Lupin the 3rd
    May 24th, 2006 at 12:39 am [Reply]

    My old college roommate discovered one night that lighter fluid will incinerate the roach, and not harm the wood floor if you douse it fast enough. But he never was able to hit the mouse with his blowgun. I did get a roach in the kitchen once with the Daisy Air Rifle, however…

    And when I was living in Texas, the GIANT ROACHES THAT FLY were tastefully called “Palmetto Bugs” so you could feel all happy Southerner or something. Especially when they hit you in the face. (shudder) So call them “Palmetto Bugs” and you won’t feel so bad about them in your house. Because they ain’t leaving!

55. Mibbitmaker
    May 24th, 2006 at 2:01 am [Reply]

    5/24:

    FC: “Do I hafta be a Boy Scout to do a good deed?”
    “Yes. Now go out and do something very, very wrong, Billy!”

    FOOB: Yeah, because we want to reward the moronic gender ugliness from last week, and…… and……….. Oh, God, they’re doing it in Zits now, aren’t they?……

    Zits: No, see, it’s supposed to be the guy that doesn’t listen, not the guy you don’t listen *to*. Can’t you get your male stereotypes right? Sheesh!

    FW: Oh, this can’t be… interesting!

    Beetle Bailey: That… car!… um….. this is the part of the old, uncensored Looney Tunes from the ’40s where a character sees this bizarre ‘lip’ front end, then says to the audience, “Well… now I’ve seen everything!”, proceeding to shoot himself in the head, fall backwards, then iris-out to a “beewwoop” sound effect.

    Curtis: Huh; the kid sounds like Jon Lovitz. “Yeah… that’s the ticket”

    Dilbert: Funny, but also a nicely poignant statement of everlasting desolation. “The Office” in 3 panels.

56. Ianscot
    May 24th, 2006 at 6:35 am [Reply]

    5/24/06: Heart and the City descends into a plotline about the muscular men Heart’s mom has over to play. This one is wearing a black hood and has two long daggers and a bullwhip on his hips.

    (Or perhaps precocious Heart just has an imaginary friend.)

57. Jives
    May 24th, 2006 at 7:23 am [Reply]

    Taking bets on tomorrow’s cockroach report …
    I’m guessing two cockroaches will have filled the bowl with catfood and they’ll be making flapjacks for Josh and the Missus.

58. Dennis Jimenez
    May 24th, 2006 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    A3G – 5.24.2006 – When I first read today’s installment, at first I saw:

    Prof. You look tired my dear, did your friends wear you out with too many PANTIES?

    Tommie: No panties, it was a quiet visit. But in a way my friends did wear me out.

59. dlauthor
    May 24th, 2006 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    GF: The Yangtze River analogy is marvelous. But two things make today’s strip: the paper umbrella in Bucky’s mug (what the hell is he drinking, anyway?), and Rob’s totally slovenly hair. As any hat-wearer who goes too long between cuts will tell you, those “wings” sticking out above his ears can be a real problem.

    Spidey: Oh! He’s using his Spider-sense and reflexes to lead a pack of paparazzi into the path of an oncoming semi-truck, right? RIGHT? Nah — that would mean Peter Parker’s doing something useful.

    Pluggers: Yet not a real Amurkin ‘less you prefer a mess o’ ribs ‘n’ pulled pork to those fruity lobster thingies, which only fruitified city-folk eat. Whee.

    Mallard: What I like about this week’s strips is they demonstrate clearly how out of touch Tinsley really is. Kennedy admitted he had a problem and sought help. But in the land of comics lag, it’s still something for a badly drawn duck to snipe about for a whole damn week.

    Heart of the City: Are those supposed to be abdominal muscles? Or does this charming new character have eight breasts? I do like the substitution of alphanumeric characters for nipples, though.

    Foob: Annoying thing about this strip #46732: Drummer Kid (does he have a name?) doing his spaztastic “WOOOH!!” flail in Panel 3. Also, what kind of teenager wears his T-shirt tucked into his pants like that? Perhaps one who finds his male bandmates “hot.” Just sayin’, is all.

    F-Minus: Another pearl today, with the implied mayhem about to occur. I’m growing to like this strip more and more; it’s still funny only sometimes, but when it hits, it hits very well.

    Cornered: Another good one from a strip that I don’t normally notice, because it’s usually just a bad Far Side clone. But today’s has a certain melancholy to it, and there’s a certain poetry to the caption.

    Prickly: Interesting final line of dialogue. It would appear to be a genuine mea culpa from Stantis, disguised as a throwaway. Coupled with the hamster-war series earlier this month, it really _does_ seem like he’s had a change of heart. I’m also enjoying the T-shirt slogans of the alien-shaped scribble. I bet most of Stantis’s target audience didn’t even get yesterday’s (“Au H2O”). Yeah, it’s a conservative shout-out, but humorous nonetheless, so nicely done.

60. Abbey the Wonderdog
    May 24th, 2006 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    I am Sooooo confused. Several weeks ago, Sawah had no symptoms, just a fever. Today one of her symptoms IS a fever. I need medical advice, is it or isn’t it.

    Poor kid needs a Doctor or a Nurse to pay attention to her. All she gets now is Dr. Ben and Nurse Jerry and their rainforest holistic crunch cure.

    Call in the AIR EVAC HELICOPTER Stat!!!

    BARK! BARK! BARK!

61. Jonny A
    May 24th, 2006 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    Wasn’t it just a short time ago that Mallard was maligning the media for dwelling on the Cheney shooting (which of course, they didn’t)? *Now he solely dwells on the latest Kennedy “mishap” ( Finger quotes!) ad nauseousness. It would be really aggravating if it weren’t so predictable. Hypocrite much?

    btw – why is he sometimes green? is it the added nauseam?

    * an actual observation

62. jeanne
    May 24th, 2006 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    In today’s SF, I noticed that Ted is wearing the Maize and Blue of the University of Michigan. I wonder if he attended Hash Bash as an undergrad. Could explain a lot.

63. Treadwell
    May 24th, 2006 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    #30: Melissa, I like spiders, too, but be damn sure you know your spider varieties before picking them up by hand. There are many poisonous species that can live indoors, including the Brown Recluse, whose bite can SERIOUSLY F you up.

    #33: monkeyhawk, after all that, you never actually said what the cure was.

    #47: birdblaster, I don’t use recipes to prepare food for MYSELF, much less to kill roaches. Why not just put out the boric acid on its own?

    Reminds me of a friend who used to raise geckos. Geckos are fed with live crickets. The supply of crickets, therefore, had to be kept alive, too. So he had to feed the food. That’s just too much BS for me!

64. Irina
    May 24th, 2006 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    My turn!

    While at college, I lived in this little cottage in Vermont that was probably built in 1910-1920. Cute little ramshackle place.

    One morning, I get up to go to class, get dressed, put my shoes on, getting ready to go. I get two or three steps, when I realize there’s a lump at my toes in my right shoe. I figure, in a sleepy-headed haze, I neglected to pull my sock up all the way.

    I pull off the shoe to pull up my sock, and to my curiosity, the sock is stretched out over my piggies and the rest of my foot just fine. Confused, I look in my shoe, when out crawls over my wrist before hopping to the floor, a wolf spider (furry little guy, about 3-4″ legspan diameter) who’d taken up residence there for the night.

    It scurries away about 3 feet and freezes. I leap three feet in the air screaming in bloody terror, absolutely crawling with the heebie jeebies.

    Now, most of the time, I like spiders … they tend to snack on bugs I loathe even more. But when they decide to snack on me, or claim an article of my clothing as territory, it doesn’t stand a chance.

    After I finally collected myself, the shoe that the spider had used for a home came crashing down on the hapless arachnid like the wicked witch of the east.

65. Karl the Grouchy Medievalist
    May 24th, 2006 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    Who knew Herb and Jamaal were into Lacan? See his “The Agency of the Letter in the Unconcious” for an explanation:

    “For these children [read: Herb and Jamaal], Ladies and Gentlemen will be henceforth two countries towards which each of their souls will strive on divergent wings, and between which a truce will be the more impossible since they are actually the same country…”

66. BassoGap
    May 24th, 2006 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    My college roommate woke up the rest of us (4 shared the apartment) one night when we went to the kitchen for a midnight snack, stepped on (and crunched) a very large spider. He was barefoot.

    His girly screams were ear-shattering, and had the three of us in the room with him in seconds, lights on, laughing at his crazy dance, as he tried to scrape the remains of the spider from the bottom of his foot. He said he could not only hear the crunch, but feel it on his foot. Major eww.

    Oh, and we still tease him about it, though it happened Fall of ’82.

67. treedweller
    May 24th, 2006 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    #59 I agree about F minus today. We’ve been getting this strip a week or so now and this is the first one I really liked. The fun part is imagining the hours spent preparing for this attack.

    Similarly, today I smiled at Garfield. First time since, oh, must have been about 1962. Wait, it hasn’t existed that long–I guess it just seems that way. Anyway, the fun part is imagining Jon’s romantic poem in which he uses the word ‘wolverine.’ Do you think it referred to the animal, or the character from X-men? Unfortunately, the cartooning committee missed a big belly laugh when Garfield didn’t reply, “I’m hungry.”

68. Maxie
    May 24th, 2006 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    Irina, if you grew up in the Southwest you’d never in your entire life put shoes on without checking them first.

    Roaches–I believe Roach Pruf is boric acid and works pretty well, although not immediately. Also, Chinese insecticide chalk, which I believe is illegal in the U.S. but you can find it if you know where to look. We use it for ants; it’s amazing stuff.

69. Woodstock
    May 24th, 2006 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    The more I read Rex Morgan, the more I must question his medical credentials. There is not a doctor in the United States these days that would fail to get her a blood test for Lyme’s disease after her symptoms.

    We of course, miss the story of how she got bitten by the tick. Probably a case where a 4 inch tick was in Abby’s water dish and jumped up and bit her 489 times. Maybe we’ll get it as a flashback.

    Speaking of flashbacks, I’m disturbed by the current Sally Forth Who knew that the hippy Sally would smirk like the Yuppie Sally?

70. Smokin Grassroots
    May 24th, 2006 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    Reading this blog has got me reading a whole bunch more comics online, some I used to enjoy as a kid, and some that I’m completely new to. Oddly enough, the ‘Gasoline Alley is boring’ post, got me hooked on the series, and I love it now, in all its mind numbingness.
    I’ve also started reading Funky Winkerbean; can anyone explain the beef between the video playing kids and the guys that creeped up behind him today?

71. Anonymous
    May 24th, 2006 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    From Old Fogey:
    A) Yes, I think the problem is Firefox.

    B) Out here in AZ, those GIANT ROACHES THAT FLY are called Palo Verde Beetles. They live in the roots of palo verde trees (and can eventually kill them). At dusk, they boil up out of the ground beneath the tree and take to the air. They are absolutely the grossest, most terrifying bugs around, even worse than scorpions and killer bees.

72. Mountain Mama
    May 24th, 2006 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    All this cockroach talk brings back fond memories of “Bloom County.”

    “Death to the imperialistic fascist homeowner! Make us a sandwich!” (or something like that)

    God, I miss Milo.

73. NotThatGuy
    May 24th, 2006 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    #59, not only a mug, but a *straw*! Which are, like, my total fantasy drink accessories, ‘specially when used with mug.

74. Carlye
    May 24th, 2006 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    Josh, you know what they say…if you see one roach, there’s a hundred or so of his buddies lurking around somewhere. There are roach poisons that come in containers that the pets can’t get into. The roach crawls in and munches some poison, then takes the leftovers home to the kiddies. They have worked really well for us in the garage, which (thankfully) is the only place we’ve ever seen them. You must not get up in the middle of the night and turn on the lights very often. It could be the stuff of nightmares for you if you did.

75. Moss_Moses
    May 24th, 2006 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    I could see hiding a tooth under a pillow but why the Sam Hill would Tony hide an image under his pillow? It is sure to get wrinkled that way. Also, why has a road commission hearing turned into a full blown jury trial? Why is a trial needed anyway? The only real justice in LoFo is meted out by Mark Trail’s fists. The law enforcement is apathetic and incompetent and always more than willing to let Mark Trail use his vigilante techiques on evildoers even if this involves such unlawful acts as trespassing on private property, mail tampering or assault. He probably tells people not to worry since these methods are only used for terr’ists. The politicians are corrupt, too. Yes ‘ir, this plot sickens. It has more moves than jello and more holes in it than swiss cheese.

76. brendan
    May 24th, 2006 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    #70: interetingly gasoline Alley used to be a work of art. If you have a chance to read vintage strips from the 1920s-40s, you begin to get an idea where Watterson (Calvin and Hobbes) got many of his background ideas.
    Just gorgeous work. I would even say stupendous. The kind of stuff that makes you look at the turds that people like Johnny Hart, Mell Lazurus, and every other 2-bit hack in the business have cranked out since day one, and say “huh?”

77. Gracie287
    May 24th, 2006 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    Has anyone else been reading the bizarre 4-day male strip in Pibgorn?

    http://www.comics.com/comics/pibgorn/

    What’s McEldowney smoking?

78. SNF
    May 24th, 2006 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    Gracie: Yeah, I’ve been, uh, following that as well. I’m a bit worried that it’s headed squarely for NSFW territory and I’ll have a bunch of explaining to do if someone happens to be looking over my shoulder at the wrong moment.

    Still, Pibgorn has been so generally awesome, this Shakespeare takeoff included, that I won’t begrudge the author some experimental weirdness here and there.

    Plus, I guess turnabout’s fair play considering the steamy Pib/Puck panels a couple weeks back.

79. Hogenmogen
    May 24th, 2006 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    When Pluggers put their hands in their pockets, it’s usually in greasy overalls, and sometimes with their names on the left breast. Am I missing something, because I don’t see the Plugger wearing a bib.

    Willy & Ethel: I don’t get this one, either. Why did Ethel ask how Willy got home before her if she already knew that he never left the house? Do his neighbors monitor the front door 24/7? What’s with that? What’s with pretending that you’re going to work, and staying home all day? That is a very disturbing can of worms that didn’t end well for Michael Douglas in “Falling Down”.

    I also don’t get They’ll Do It Every Friggin’ Time. Arfo (short for the regular protagonist ‘Barfo’) is going in to a bar & grill. Is that scandalous for some reason? If it was a strip joint, it would say “NUDE CHIKS” out front or some variation on that theme. As it stands, it looks like the kind of establishment where you could go to get lunch with a pint if you wanted. Furthermore, why are Arfo’s neighbors all watching him at the pub, when they should be keeping tabs on not-so-slick Willy?

    Today’s Spidey ends with “So there’s only one thing to do…” What, solve some crimes? Post some cameras around so you can take automatic pictures of yourself? How about this one, boy genius: Dress like Peter Parker and take the vacation that you came there for.

    Mallard: What a mess. Mr. Tinsley, as long as we are dragging old DUI’s on to the comics page, why don’t you do something about your buddy Cheney getting busted TWICE. A very young collegiate George W. was also arrested for a drunk & disorderly involving theft of a Christmas tree (although I should call it a Holiday tree just to piss off Tinsley). Let’s also touch on Jenna & Barbara’s wild & crazy social life during college. And as I’m on a Mallard rant, why don’t I remind that petulant little duck that Cheney shot a guy because Dick thought he was a fellow feathered friend, as are you, Mr. Fillmore. Didn’t you show the slightest bit of concern when Cheney went duck hunting with Justice Scalia? How’s that for ironic, you web-footed fowl?

    http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/buildcp.mpl?v=3.0;page=13;quality=high;cpp=4;c=19;c=75;c=103;c=153;c=12;c=85;c=82;c=154;c=106;c=107;c=47;c=91;c=111;c=112;c=17;c=71;c=20;c=113;c=68;c=116;c=31;c=86;c=28;c=118;c=144;c=78;c=155;c=121;c=37;c=87;c=123;c=60;c=79;c=92;c=40;c=14;c=88;c=136;c=33;c=128;c=4;c=147;c=53;c=130;c=57;c=30;c=81;c=140;c=77;date=2006/5/24

80. GotFuzzy
    May 24th, 2006 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    #72
    My favorite Bloom County talking cockroach line was “One more step and we lick the pot roast!” I had that hanging up for years, until it was too brittle to tack up without fracturing.

81. Marc
    May 24th, 2006 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    FC: SCOUT LEADER:”Jeffy, if you do a good deed for me, I’ll get you your friendliness badge!”

    Foob: Wouldn’t it be 5EVA now?

    FW: Wow, in Crankshaft, “Marcus an’ th’ gang” seem younger than in FW. Now they look the same age as Darren and his nerdy friend Pete.

    Garfield: For the first time in many many many many years, I laughed. A little.

    Mary Worth: “Welcome to Charterstone, where we teach our malnourished squirrels to jump on your coot.”

82. Austin
    May 24th, 2006 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    I love how in Get Fuzzy today, after Rob tells Bucky that Satchel isn’t fighting anyone, Bucky just assumes he’ll stand there while the other dogs beat the crap out of him.

    “I hope you at least let him curl up into a little ball.”

83. Bitter Scribe
    May 24th, 2006 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    Hell, at least Dilbert isn’t doing a Garfield and Xeroxing the same scene for three panels.

84. Hogenmogen
    May 25th, 2006 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    H&J: If you’re ever in doubt about a non-specific gender person, assume that he/she is the gender that you are unattracted to. That way you won’t accidentally hit on a transvestite. Words of wisdom that you can live by.

85. Andrew
    May 25th, 2006 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    Younoklu is supposed to be a play on the phrase “You no clue”.

86. Debbie
    June 18th, 2006 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    I think the fact that they are referring to it as yunoklu is quite funny. I read it as saying
    ‘you no clue’ which is true of sudoku for a lot of people. I on the other hand love the game.

87. deena
    October 1st, 2006 at 5:59 am [Reply]

    House lizards (geckos) are very effective for getting rid of cockroaches as they are natural enemies. You can find more about using them for pest control at http://www.pests.in/cockroachpestcontrol.html

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