One bad mother … shut your mouth!
Gil Thorp, 5/30/06
“For the love of Christ,” you’ve probably been saying for weeks, “What in God’s name is going on in Gil Thorp?” Well, the sad answer is: not much. We’ve been treated to two or three boring storylines involving surly teenage athletes that have been getting in the way of what we all really want: more of Brent Raptor’s mom. But today’s strip promises big moves in that department. The lady rounding out this coachy foursome joined our cast of lovable misfits last summer, when she used her feminine wiles to get Milford grad/polka disc jockey Von to take care of her little stalker problem. Now she’s going to take on the She-Raptor, which heralds another wacky summer in Gil Thorpistan. Does the “horizon broadening” she has in mind involve getting avocado facials together at the local day spa, or forcible kidnapping at knifepoint? Tune in to find out! I find the whole prospect positively delicious.
Wizard of Id, 5/30/06
Can I admit something to you all? Since I started reading the Wizard of Id on a regular basis last month, I’ve found myself sort of enjoying it some of the time. Admittedly, my expectations coming into it were set very, very low, though this hasn’t enhanced my appreciation of Crock, which I took up again at the same time. The Wiz by my estimation is funny maybe a third of the time, which is a lot better than some strips I could mention but won’t because it would be deeply embarrassing for them.
Anyway, today I had the realization that the installments of this strip I like the best are the ones involving the stablehands, whose conversation inevitably revolves around horse feces and the shoveling thereof, and, in the larger sense, the level of degradation that this brings into their lives. Make of this what you will.
Marc
May 30th, 2006 at 8:43 pm
The title of this post…made me laugh…the strips didn’t hah.
Ted
May 30th, 2006 at 9:59 pm
Is it wrong of me to wonder where that bucket from panel one vanished to?
Mibbitmaker
May 30th, 2006 at 10:15 pm
Id: What the bottom is? Writing and drawing Gil Thorp, that’s what. Of course, this is ignoring the other, obvious joke here (if one is 3).
DTGT: …Talkin’ ’bout Shaft.
Spookinabox
May 30th, 2006 at 10:17 pm
Hmmmmmm
I could make a fancy horse-shit hat.
or
a lovely road apple brooch.
or the start of a beautiful friendship.
Holy Prepuce
May 30th, 2006 at 10:26 pm
Does anyone else find it irksome that Dean Young has been plugging his new business venture (Dagwood’s Sandwich Shoppes) shamelessly in his recent “Blondie” strips? You’ve got to hand it to him, though: usually newspapers buy content and sell advertising, but he’s got them paying for the privilege of running his display ads. Nice work if you can get it.
Brian Schlosser
May 30th, 2006 at 10:49 pm
# 5: Hasn’t Jim Davies been getting away with that trick for over a quarter of a century?
Brian Schlosser
May 30th, 2006 at 10:50 pm
Or Jim Davis even…
weiser
May 30th, 2006 at 11:03 pm
MW So will Kelly come home to find Lou dead on the floor – right next to a “feast laden” table – or is today’s strip foreshadowing something else entirely?
John
May 30th, 2006 at 11:04 pm
When did Teri Hatcher start teaching at Milford High?
mumbles
May 31st, 2006 at 12:15 am
YES! She’s back! Millicent “Jolene” Raptor!
Dammit, now I can’t get the White Stripes (or Dolly Parton) out of my head! Jolene, Jolene, please don’t take my man, indeed.
I wish Millicent had a smackdown with Granthony in a comics mash-up. She’d make him whimper for the warm nurturing of Therese, the icy Quebecoise.
Ferd Berfel
May 31st, 2006 at 1:38 am
A3G – All together now in our best whiny Jan voices; Lu Ann, Lu Ann, Lu Ann!
FW – Homeslice? Homeslice? Homeslice? I still can’t make it work…
FBOW – Behold… the power of pussy.
GF – B.M. indeed.
(DT)GT – Joy! Rapture! She’s back! She’s wearing the shirt! And there’s marshmallow fluff on the counter behind her!
JP – Same conversation, same two characters. Guess we’ll have to wait until tomorrow to see if the new can actually draw people who don’t all look like Yeardley Smith.
MT – I keep waiting for Della Street and Paul Drake to wander in.
MW – Damn… Lou is alive… Damn…
RMMD – Sarah, we’ve been asking that same question for close to a month now.
SF – How come ’submissive’ and ‘bottom’ weren’t on her list?
Jedzz
May 31st, 2006 at 3:50 am
I am just fascinated by the huge apostrophes in Gil Thorp. Look at them, so long and slashy, just short of being a real backslash.
Dawn Weston
May 31st, 2006 at 4:10 am
B.C.-For the longest time I tried to figure out how ‘Her’ and the chemical element ‘Barium’ had to do with “What she do if her husband croaks” in today’s B.C.
Finally I realized what it was supposed to mean. But I don’t even think I know what a herbarium is anyway.
I’ve never been much of a fan of the Ambrose Bierce rip off and his devil’s dictionary that he seems more of a slave to than a bemused reader. I don’t like the way he coldly breaks the fourth wall imploring the reader to break him out of this miserable world of golfing cavemen, educated ants, and horribly punnery.
MT- Has Mark Trail ever looked so deliciously handsome as he does in panel 2? Those bedroom eyes are certainly channeling George Clooney. Or perhaps George Clooney has been channeling America’s favorite adventure magazine writer this whole time.
Frank Drackman
May 31st, 2006 at 5:55 am
Wednesdays FC is confusiing..is Daddy shunning Jeffy for wanting to play catch? And Jeffys got those damn leg warmers on again, its May for chrissake
Sheila
May 31st, 2006 at 6:06 am
FBOFW: She misses her FAMILY? How old is she??? She’s acting like a ten-year-old at summer camp. Liz is a grown woman and has been out on her own for roughly seven years — four years of college and I’m sure she’s been up north for three! After SEVEN YEARS of independence, she suddenly needs her mommy and daddy? I’m sorry, that is just NOT normal.
Karl
May 31st, 2006 at 6:22 am
Background guy in panel 1: “Man, you guys are so fricking boring I had to set my hair on fire. Now I’m going to smash this burger against my face.”
Sean-o
May 31st, 2006 at 6:27 am
I didn’t notice if anyone else had brought up the rather unusual looking being in panel 1 of Gil Thorpe; I’m not too familiar with the strip, but good lord, what on earth is that? Someone just returning from an audition for a dinner theatre production of “X-Men”? Thorpistan’s white answer to Little Richard?
And it seems to be clutching a sandwich in an awkward death grip.
Also note the groovy modern pop-art on the wall glimpsed in all panels; if GT ever dies out, “McLaughlin” has a fine future in store…in Art!
Justafoob
May 31st, 2006 at 6:35 am
Break out the cinnamon rolls Granthony, Liz is coming home!!!!! And Therese is gone!!!!!
And Officer Doo is “Seriously” considering transfering south. Bwaaaaa haaaa haaaa haaaaa.
All we need now is Officer Doo coming back to Liz saying he can’t leave his home either. It’s been real, it’s been nice, but I can’t say it’s been real nice. How about a Lewinksky for old times sakes.
And in a couple of weeks, Helicopter Boy is going to slam into a mountain, sealing Granthony in Liz’s life for ever.
And don’t forget, Gwampa is going to check out on June 6th to join his fallen comrades that he left in France.
GotFuzzy
May 31st, 2006 at 6:52 am
Ferd, are you sure that’s not a big ol’ jar of mayonnaise? I could see Mama Rap-Dog slathering mayo over two slices of bread and calling it a sandwich. Or as I am sure she pronounces it–sam-widge.
Sean-o, that is one of Gil’s army of assistant coaches. I call him Coach with a Pearl Earring, because he sports Barbara Bush-esque clip-ons on both ears. His Heat Miser coif and skin-tight tank tops brand him as “extreme” so all the kids relate to him. Either that, or the fact that he is so dense that he keeps leaving his pop quizzes on the copier so that his whole class can cheat with little or no effort.
Lyman Returns
May 31st, 2006 at 7:22 am
#11-I actually enjoyed the use of the word “homeslice” in FW. When I was in grade school we used to call each other “homeslice” and “homebread”. I didn’t think kids today said “homeslice”. Maybe Batiuk (or whoever is scripting FW right now) just THINKS kids today say “homeslice”. In fact, that’s MUCH more likely. Maybe in tomorrow’s FW we’ll see the use of such cutting-edge slang as “rad” and “fresh”.
Hogenmogen
May 31st, 2006 at 7:56 am
#5, #6, #7 – No! Say it ain’t so! The author of the extended wankfest meant to celebrate Dag & Boobie’s 75th anniversary (that lasted like, 75 years) is actually shamelessly plugging something else? I just can’t believe it.
Strange, now that I think about it, the 75th anniversary wasn’t the anniversary of their wedding, because that came after a few years into the life of the strip. So, Dag & Bootie celebratred the 75th anniversary of what would have been an ordinary day for them. Dag ddn’t even KNOW Boopsie then. Come on! Sorry, I’m about a year late with this, aren’t I?
Dennis Jimenez
May 31st, 2006 at 7:56 am
RMMD – Bad move letting Buck sit for little Abbey – I’m betting it’s AIDS.
Woodstock
May 31st, 2006 at 8:09 am
Lyme’s. Sarah has Lyme’s Disease in the RMMD strip that left the woman stalker killer in limbo so we can misrepresent the symptoms of Lyme’s disease.
Bullseye rash from bite first, high fever and fatigue next, Facial paralysis (Bell’s Palsey) within 2 weeks, possible cardiac symptoms a few months later, TMJ then finally, the single swollen knee up to 18 months after initial contact.
But, on the plus side, if Lizardbreath moves south, there’s a good shot that a deer tick could get her and her little cat too. (Not Toto, TOO!)
Anonymous
May 31st, 2006 at 8:10 am
#15: There really are people who stay close to their families their entire life. Really. And they aren’t all pathological. In fact, in the not-so-distant past that was the norm.
(Old Fogey)
Jives
May 31st, 2006 at 8:13 am
PBS: Oh no! Rat is becoming ratbert! (or Catbert or whatever the f) Quickly, get the crocs to overrun the office in a frenzy of heavily accented indignation. “Thees ees not deelebeert, Pastees.”
Abbey the Wonderdog
May 31st, 2006 at 8:34 am
“Ok daddy…why am I sick?”
Ummm, I don’t know. Maybe it is because you never get proper nutrition. Or, you don’t have professional care. Or, Abbey is just ignoring you. It is her fault.
Have More Rocky Road dear. As a matter of fact, I think I will share a bowl with you. mmmmm yummmmmm mmmmmm yummmmmmmmyyyy
What were we talking about again, dear?
BARK! BARK! BARK!
Jem
May 31st, 2006 at 8:48 am
About “homeslice”: According to my 13 year old son, Jack Black is using “homeslice” on a promo for Teen Nick on Nickelodeon. I never knew the word existed until yesterday. I’m expecting to hear it at my house for awhile.
BassoGap
May 31st, 2006 at 8:48 am
Mumbles (#10) – Actually, the best version of “Jolene” is by Paula Cole…she’ll have you needing a cold shower when she’s done.
Karl (#16) and Sean-o (#17) – That’s assistant coach Wolverine. He’s usually wearing giant pearl earrings, too. No, we don’t know why.
PBS – I wonder if oil company employees are cutting out this week’s PBS strips, the way IT nerds do with Dilbert?
MW – “Talk? Talk?? Talk!!!” Poor Lou…I’m starting to feel sorry for the poor schlub.
MT – See…all it took was a court of law (for a zoning commission? don’t ask) for everyone to finally admit the truth: Tony is his *grandson*, dammit.
RMMD – “Sarah. Little Sarah. You’re sick, sweetie, because it’s the only way to get the storyline around to showing everyone that Troy is an ex-con with a heart of gold. But later, there will be ice cream. Oh, and the crazy skank parked out front will somehow cause you great pain. I mentioned the ice cream, right?”
SF – “What are you asking, Mom?” “I’m asking if you told him about…you know.” “Mom! You said it was just that once, that I wouldn’t have to share a guy with you again!” “Sally…how *else* will I truly know if any man is good enough for you? Oh, and don’t ever tell your father about this, ok?”
Holy Prepuce
May 31st, 2006 at 8:51 am
#6/7: Oh, yes, and Davis is just the worst of many offenders whose strips are kept alive to promote the merchandizing.
But the distinction I’d draw between “Garfield” and what’s going on in “Blondie” is that, in the former case, the gags are not obviously manipulated to sell the external product, nor is the product’s existence directly acknowleged in the strip.
That is, Jon does not say, “Garfield, I’ve decided to live out my dream of turning your image into stuffed animals and T-shirts.” Rather, Jon and Garfield just keep doing (and doing and doing) what they do, and readers buy the merchandise as a direct extension of their experiences of the strip. (E.g. “it amuses me that Garfield is lazy and likes lasagne, so I’ll keep a plush Garfield on my shelf to keep those laughs going all the time, and wear a Garfield T-shirt so others can share in the laughs.”)
King Folderol
May 31st, 2006 at 8:58 am
#16/17/19 – I’m with #16/17 on this one. I’ve seen this guy before, but he always looked stoned and/or disinterested. Today’s even worse…he somehow looks like he’s caught in some sort of time warp that has made him look blurrier than the rest of the characters in Panel One. Or is it perhaps a philosophical comment: that it is us, the caustic readers of GT, that are blurry deep down inside?
SNF
May 31st, 2006 at 9:00 am
Hmmmm.
Montreal has had a Dagwood’s chain of sandwich joints for, apparently, 15 years. If there’s any licensing agreement or other link to the comic strip, they’re keeping it awfully quiet.
So: let the lawsuits begin! Who will draw first blood?
Oh, by the way, check out the thouroughly awesome moose tapestry in Elizabeth’s living room. Her life may be falling apart, but no matter! her taste in interior decorating more than makes up for that.
dlauthor
May 31st, 2006 at 9:08 am
Curtis: Oh, if only today’s strip had five panels.
Spidey: What the hell? The first panel sorta implies that that’s the real Ghost Rider (assuming they ever fought something called “the Orb” together — I thought Spidey just snuck around in hospital gowns and bitched that his wife had a career), and then in the last panel, Spidey decides he’s just a costumed stunt man. Huh? A stuntman who’s on break but WHOSE HEAD IS CLEARLY ON FIRE? Is Peter Parker a complete idiot, or has Stan Lee gone insane?
Pluggers: Apparently, one of the other things a Plugger likes about his old pickup is the massive cloud of crap it spews out the tailpipe. Sadly, this may actually be true.
Mallard: Strange. I feel like I’ve heard the “bad apples” excuse before. Now when was that? You’ll also note that Tinsley didn’t cite the story by pointing people to the Powerline blog or Michelle Malkin or something. So I guess he must just be making crap up himself at this point.
Foob: To be fair, I’ve known people who’ve grown to miss their families after being away for a while. It happens. But usually they show some consideration for the people in their new life, too. Come on, Dudley — stay up north, dump the Lizard, find a nice Mtigahoney and settle down. Leave her to Captain Cinnamon Bun.
Arlo & Janis: Would have been bettier if the cat’s squalling in the last panel were a little clearer. Having seen what happened when my little brother locked the family cat in a filing cabinet once, the mental image of what might happen next is kinda wonderful.
Prickly: Whoa. One of Tinsley’s asterisks wandered over into Stantis-land. I love “* True!”, for the implication that everything else Stantis says is out-and-out horse hockey. Couple that with a cheap lawyer joke, and you’ve got comedy gold! I will say that the last two panels are pretty good, though. Nice timing, even if the joke’s setup is lame.
David V. Matthews
May 31st, 2006 at 9:20 am
Does the 5/31/06 Mark Trail offer more proof the strip’s recycling its old art? Mark and the judge look more competently drawn than usual, with thinner linework. (You can see what I mean more clearly in the black-and-white version.) Everett True’s grandson in the final panel might be clip-art, too.
Irina
May 31st, 2006 at 9:21 am
Thanks for the coffee-decorated monitor, Bassogap.
Maybe that explains why Ted’s such a milquetoast — his MiL has the goods on him.
Adfella
May 31st, 2006 at 9:22 am
MRS. RAPTOR’S DORITO’S DRESS
I wonder how much the good folks at Frito-Lay are paying Mrs. Raptor to wear that Doritos-festooned garment?
BassoGap
May 31st, 2006 at 9:30 am
Irina (#34) – You’re welcome.
Adfella (#35) – please, please, PLEASE, let Mrs. Rapdog, at some point, say “Eat all you want, we’ll make more!”
rich
May 31st, 2006 at 9:38 am
Great line in yesterday’s Curtis: “Can’t we get him some transient hotel to sleep in?”
I ask you, could Billy Keane or Jason Fox in their wildest dreams have come up with such a tart zinger? Dolly may have mastered the Prickly-esque glower, and, yes, Juan Epstein in FW can crush a suburban boy’s spirit with a side of “homeslice”, but Barry’s erudite jab puts them all to shame.
theGrowler
May 31st, 2006 at 9:53 am
Good call, #35. That’s the most subtle of all the advertising tie-ins discussed today.
Broadening horizons a fat joke? Or do they really want to see that lumpy, chip-covered woman struggle to the top of the eiffel tower? Things are going to get interesting in Gilville (or not).
fimbulvetr
May 31st, 2006 at 10:13 am
I’m really liking the Pirhana Club story arc right now. I think Grace might be onto something about only sending mean tough old people who don’t have that long to live anyways out to war . . . I wouldn’t want to mess with Mother Packer.
fimbulvetr
May 31st, 2006 at 10:17 am
#35 Hmmm. .. and the Cheetos people have bought out Monty as well then.
Hogenmogen
May 31st, 2006 at 10:20 am
The daily piece of crap called Garfield: For those of you who wondered why Garf would openly mock Jon for going out on disasterous dates, yet going out on none himself, now the secret is revealed. Garf has come out of the closet and demonstrated his 28 year old crush on his loser owner.
Wow. I would have thought that with some lead-in, Tommie would come out and plant a big wet one on Luann, or that Rex would out himself with any number of the parade of ambiguously gay males that parade through his life. But no, Garfield and Jon come out of nowhere. While I have no problems with homo sapiens homo sexuals, I’m really queasy on the whole inter-species thing. I mean, the prospect of a reach-around from someone with claws just creeps me out.
brendan
May 31st, 2006 at 10:34 am
FOOB:
I am really really beginning to get pissed off at this strip.
I’m no fan of Dudley Doo-Wright, but I am beginning to have a lot of sympathy for the guy. Lizzie is playing him for a sucker. “Homesick”? Right, suuuure. “Anthony-sick” is more like it: when is Liz going to mention to Paul that it was April’s email that set her off? Answer: she’s not. She’s manipulating the guy.
I will get personal for a moment: I have a 2-year-old son out of wedlock with a young woman from Quebec. She was supposed to start grad school in 2003 at UPenn when we discovered she was pregnant, so she went back to Quebec to have our son (health care etc), putting off school til 2004.
In 2004, Penn screwed up and sent the wrong visa, which took three months to straighten out, so school was put off til 2005. Then in 2005, 2 weeks before we were supposed to move in, start school and begin raising our boy together, she told me “I suddenly got a better offer here that I have to consider.” A week later, “the decision has been made”: she cancelled the plans that we’d been making for two years, saying that she didn’t think I loved her enough. She followed up with “Instead of me moving there, how about you sell your house and move up here!”
The bitch set me up like a fucking bowling pin. I see my son for a measley week every other month, because his mom doesn’t have a driver’s license.
The Paul betrayal kind of hits home for me, so fuck Lizzie. She’s been leading this poor sucker on, and he should thank his lucky stars they haven’t had sex.
I don’t know, maybe this is just standard behavior for Canadian girls.
Hogenmogen
May 31st, 2006 at 10:45 am
Sorry, I’m still creeped by the whole Barfield/Jon thing. I’m just envisioning Jon saying “Wow, Garf, that was INCREDIBLE!!! I’ve never been kissed like that before…. Hey, what are you doing for dinner later? … oh, right, I’m feeding you Purina, you sly little kitten, you. But what about after? Garf? Want to ‘hang out’? Garf???”
Moss_Moses
May 31st, 2006 at 11:00 am
Lou’s behavior bares all the hallmarks of feederism and nothing he said or did (besides the public eye comment) would in any way imply he was self conscious about his looks. How Mary Worth figured that out is truly Quincy-like.
Just the opposite, his obsession seems to be with stuffing Kelly with food as foreplay for their wild boar sex. Lou’s a chubby chaser who will just go out hoggin’ after some zaftig plumper if Kelly leaves him. He’s a fool for lasses with big asses. Lou’s motto – “The bone is for the dog. The meat is for the man”.
MotoMike
May 31st, 2006 at 11:23 am
dlauthor (32): Re “Bad apples” – yeah that struck me as overly familiar – those wacky bad apples at Abu Ghirab, or those crazy Gitmo-ites – very soon coming to a sitcom near you named “Gitmo Fun Times”. Hey, if they can make Hogan’s Heroes work, can this be far behind?
bootsybooks
May 31st, 2006 at 11:37 am
You evil evil people! I used to just happily read the comics in my local paper, until my sister turned me on to this site. Now I find myself online reading back story on Phantom! What have you done to me?!
GT: The guy with the weird face looks like someone set his face on fire, and the guys with the pitchforks in Wiz of Id had to put it out!
About 12 years ago I made a New Year’s resolution to stop reading Garfield. It’s the only resolution I have ever kept, and my life has been so much better for it.
gampo
May 31st, 2006 at 12:04 pm
Assistance, please.
Any urls available that carry a full range comics page?-
We, in the Bay Area, miss the exploits of MW, A3G, Mark Trail, Gil and several others. Thnx!
Adfella
May 31st, 2006 at 12:07 pm
#40 fimbulvetr
Thanks for the head’s up on Monty and the Cheetos….I don’t usually follow that strip.
Actually, the Monty strip reminds me a a classic joke about Cheeto stains that decorum and decency forbid me from recounting.
Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
May 31st, 2006 at 12:14 pm
FBOFW: Is it possible that Liz has some elaborate plan for setting up both Paul and Anthony?
Late night robbery at the convenience store, Anthony working late prepping tomorrow’s cinnamon rolls, newly transferred cop not used to how things go down in the big city makes horrible mistake and shoots the wrong guy, gets kicked off force and serves time for manslaughter where he’s murdered in prison by gang members he busted back in MiggTiggiTavi.
dimestore lipstick
May 31st, 2006 at 12:31 pm
#46 gampo
I use these–they’re all pretty good, depending on your preference in comics:
Houston Chronicle
Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Washington Post
Yahoo
http://www.comics.com
and
http://www.ucomics.com
BassoGap
May 31st, 2006 at 12:52 pm
Adfella (#48) – What, exactly, is this “decorum and decency” of which you speak? And when have you seen either on display here?
Sheesh, we’ve discussed Finger Quotin’ Margo’s 3-way, Mrs. Rapdog’s Dorito dress, Rex and Troy’s golf game, etc.
Speaking of non-decency…has anyone else been thinking that this week’s Luann has a bit of “No girl’s good enough for you, Brad, I want you all to myself” theme going on? With Mom looking hotter/perkier than ever?
No? It’s just me? Oh, well.
Irina
May 31st, 2006 at 1:08 pm
42. Holy cow, Brendan. That sucks beyond words.
We were planning to move to upstate New York from the DC area shortly after we got married … 18 months later, he finally confided to me that he didn’t want to leave friends and family, and wanted to stay.
Vastly pales in comparison to your story, but I kinda know how it feels.
Anonymous
May 31st, 2006 at 1:11 pm
Dimestore Lipstick,
Thanks for the links. I just signed on comics.com for Pibgorn, which I only saw for the first time today. What a bizarre and beautifully-drawn strip!
(Old Fogey)
Hogenmogen
May 31st, 2006 at 1:26 pm
The guy sitting across from Gil Thorpe’s wife is, of course, that flaming skull Death Rider from Spiderman, that we last saw when Spidey and Death Rider battled for “The Orb” (street slang for the Roy Orbison CD/DVD box set). Note how he still clings to the one measly disc of previously bonus material in case that wall-crawling do-gooder were to come around again.
Hogenmogen
May 31st, 2006 at 1:51 pm
Oh, my apologies, that should have been “Ghost Rider”, not “Death Rider”.
I also like the befuddled way that Spidey, equipped with his tingling “Spider-senses” couldn’t have figured out that it was an actor, and not the real Ghost Rider, when pretty much everyone who posted had simply assumed as much. What would have made a better story line is if Spidey had made the same assumption, but it was the real Ghost Rider. However, that would actually put the web slinger into a position where he would have to fight a costumed villian, which would entail action sequences and plot advancement and who the hell wants that?
Doonesbury reruns: Usually Trudeau repeats weeks where the continuity is ambiguous. The reports from Iraq, as not much has changed in three years, could be taking place now as much as a year or two ago. But when he reintroduces a character that died, that breaks continuity. I’m not liking it.
CHA5NCE
May 31st, 2006 at 2:20 pm
Should we be alarmed that Sally Forth married a man who looks just like her mother? And just like the blonde co-worker who is getting married? And just like Melanie Griffith in “Working Girl?”
King Folderol
May 31st, 2006 at 4:33 pm
Other stuff from today:
Crankshaft: Why does the graduate in panel #2 have one of those huge, honkin’ mobile phones from 1985? Crappiest graduation gift ever, or is she practicing for the after party BJs she’s going to be giving out?
Lockhorns: You guys were 20 minutes past monotony 20 years ago. The folks at MIT can give you the specific formula.
MT – I’m still freaked out that the judge doesn’t wear black robes. Does this two bit town not have enough $$$ in their budget for austere black robes?
Phantom – All of today’s dialogue was lifted out of a 1953 B Movie…any 1953 B Movie.
Slylock Fox – I like how today’s fun facts about blood feature a vampire. What a peculiar message to send children about blood.
mere cog in the machine
May 31st, 2006 at 4:48 pm
#20: I’m not sure what, theoretically, gives me more actual, physical discomfort: A large, bleeding hemmorhoid, or the sad, pathetic, repeated attempts by the creator of ‘Funky Winkerbean’ to stay “relevent”. This is a guy, after all, who didn’t jump into the “realtime” comics genre until long after Lynn Foobenheimer demonstrated that people, sadly, were interested in following that kind of crap on a day-to-day basis. Even then, his ‘Cindy’ character sported the same elongated front porch hairdo – something that possibly could be dated to the late seventies or early eighties – for TEN FRIGGING YEARS. Now he is using hiphop slang that is easily twelve years out of date, when he is not slogging away with “heavy”, “issue-oriented” storylines that make anyone with one fucking ounce of cynicism wince like his mother is drunk at a wedding. I have more respect for the drunken hacks that cobble together TDIET than for this dated, pathetic, never-was-been of the comic world.
Anonymous
May 31st, 2006 at 5:17 pm
But tell us, Cog, how do you REALLY feel about Funky?
(Old Fogey)
Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
May 31st, 2006 at 6:18 pm
I had a terrible time dealing with a new wife who was homesick, so it’s best to deal with these issues in advance of marriage. And quite some time later, just as she was getting used to being away from home, her stupid parents announced they were retiring and moving in down the street from us. Now all she does is whine about what a pain her parents are.
Dub Not Dubya
May 31st, 2006 at 6:18 pm
gampo 47: try this one:
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComics.mpl
Look for the link on the page to “Build your own comics page,” too (it’s on the right near the top of the page.) Comes in handy.
Ferd Berfel
May 31st, 2006 at 6:56 pm
#60/Chet – A cousin of mine nearly got saddled with one of the ‘homesick’ types. He was fresh out of college, making good money, and checking off boxes on Life’s List. What’s next? Getting married of course.
He finds her, he wines and dines her, he gets the ring on her pretty little finger, and then fate stepped in to save his clueless ass.
Get this: She’s at her folk’s house helping her mom get Christmas decorations out of the attic. Her mom makes a suggestion that she set aside a few decorations she likes because next year she’ll have her own Christmas tree at her own house. A sensible, “Carry on the our traditions” suggestion, right? A “Mom you’re so sweet” Hallmark moment, right?
Do your best Reggie van Gleason/Art Fern impression here: ummmm… ellll… WRONG – OHHH!
The immediate result is total mental collapse. The next result is a hysterical series of phone calls to my cousin, which causes an increase in the consumption of brown liquor for a while. The end result is that my cousin thankfully avoided marriage to a homesick momma’s girl who would have made his life miserable.
Run fast, Tonto Doo-right. Run fast, run far, run quiet, and run deep. Run ’cause we’re all rooting for you. Run, young man, run.
Sheila
May 31st, 2006 at 7:31 pm
Anonymous Old Fogey, indeed you are correct: many people do not move more than two miles from their parents in the first place. I have a couple high school friends of whom this is true, and they seem perfectly happy.
I’m just SAYIN’ — people who find adventure and/or independence ATTRACTIVE are the ones who move a gazillion miles from their hometown right after college, and those particular people do NOT suddenly change their minds several years later! You either got that hometown feeling or you don’t. Lots of people don’t! Liz is clearly exogamous, too — unlike her brother — in real life a woman like Liz would be MISERABLE with (yuck) Anthony.
I’m just sayin’.
AwfulArt
May 31st, 2006 at 9:44 pm
On the last day of the month, “Clear Blue Water” May be the days best…!!
Mysterio
June 1st, 2006 at 2:21 am
The Orb in all his “glory”
Mysterio
June 1st, 2006 at 2:22 am
http://www.marvunapp.com/Appendix3/orbshannon.htm
Lyman Returns
June 1st, 2006 at 7:51 am
MW-Does anyone know how long this tedious storyline has been going on? And does anyone know why I can’t stop reading it? Is it the whole “bad train wreck” syndrome?
FW-I’m confused about this story. Do these kids all go to different schools? Or are they just from groups that don’t normally hang out together? And what was with the whole “I wish I had a booty like that” installment with the two girls last week? Did I miss something? When did those two girls become friends? Why was the blonde at the mall with none of her friends around? Would announcing it’s someone’s birthday really save that someone from a beatdown? What kind of name for a rap group is “Rough Riders”? Do young wanna-be rappers admire Teddy Roosevelt or something (Big Ted will LAY YOU OUT wit’ his BIG STICK, yo! That Panama Canal was OFF THE HOOK, yo!)? So many questions…
Crock-I’m shocked to discover that this strip is still around! I had totally forgotten about it until I saw Josh feature it on this site. Good to see another geriatric unfunny comic wheezing along with all the others.
Hogenmogen
June 1st, 2006 at 3:55 pm
#67 – Lyman, I can buy the whole bit with the chicks suddenly becoming friends. I think “Rough Riders” is a condom brand, actually. The regular “simultaneous story lines” between Crankmyshaft and Funky Stinkerbean make me think that those kids are cutting class on graduation day, which is usually on a weekend when there wouldn’t be classes anyway.
Either way, Funky and Crank should give up the idea that they can concentrate on the story and sacrifice humor entirely. That’s what For Worse does, and we revile Lynn Johnson for it every day.
Speaking of which, if Grandpa Foob croaks, I sure hope he doesn’t keep reappearing as an angel ala Family Circlejerkus.
Perfesser
June 3rd, 2006 at 11:27 am
Maybe it’s cuz I just finished reading The da Vinci Code, but this installment of Gil Thorp is just filled with symbology… or maybe just regrettable artwork.
My theory (and I am paid to make theories!): Flamin’-Hair-Mayo-Burger-Eatin’ Guy in panel one, as well as “Who’s Hand is That?” in panel three are in fact designed to distract our attention from Gil’s BLEEDING PUPIL-LESS EYEBALLS in panel two. In the process of researching whether stigmata of the eyes is a recognized miracle, I stumbled on the Catholic Encyclopedia (http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/14294b.htm) which, and I apologize in advance to any Catholics who would defend an article on mysitcal stigmata that begins with a subheading “FACTS”, is hilarious. The only real help I got was the gold standard for stigmata: “unlike natural wounds of a certain duration, those of stigmatics do not give forth a fetid odour”. So, does Gil have some horrid occular degenerative disease, or are his wounds express delivered from God? Only those who get the comics in smell know for certain. Anyone?
wocket
June 3rd, 2006 at 6:09 pm
@ #20
If you’ll notice, this is a flashback (sometimes it’s hard to tell). The present-day teachers are the ones skipping on senior skip day back in…the 80s, it has to be.