Mayonnaise: Nature’s miracle condiment
Gil Thorp, 7/4/06
Ah, it’s summer! That means that Gil Thorp’s interminable and incomprehensible baseball-themed storyline has finally wound up, and the summer vacation hijinks can begin. Last summer we started off with innocent polka antics that quickly degenerated into a dangerous stalking situation, so my hopes for the next few weeks are high. This strip, which features hands and lips freak Mandy taunting the sexually frustrated Brent by forcing him to chase her while she tools around in a golf cart, holds a lot of promise, as does the return of squareheaded smart-ass Milford alum Von, whose lameness is confirmed by the fact that he didn’t flee from these high school kids the moment he saw them.
For those of you who were on tenterhooks, by the way, Mama Jolene decided to let Brent and his fluffy hair go to junior college because she got a free trip to Phoenix. No, I don’t understand it either.
Crock, 7/4/06
Let’s ignore for the moment the fact that this strip isn’t funny. It might have been funny, for instance, if “tar” and “mayo” formed some sort of natural pairing of words, or were opposites, or were ever discussed in the same context, really. Or it may have been funny if “mayo pit” was a phrase that anybody actually used in real life. But we’re ignoring that.
Even ignoring that, we’ve once again got a big coloring problem. Tar is black. Sand is … yellowish brownish, so I suppose the yellow used here is close enough. Mayo is white! White, people! Not yellow!
Unless it was, say, left out in the hot sun.
Like, in the desert.
In a … pit … of some kind.
Then I imagine it would get pretty yellow.
It’d smell pretty bad too.
So I guess the coloring job was OK. Which brings us back to the strip content. Which isn’t funny.
But I said we’d ignore that, didn’t I? All right then.
Bill Peschel
July 4th, 2006 at 9:07 pm
“Crock” is the only strip you’ve taken on that I refuse to add to my reading list.
Life’s depressing enough as it is.
Propaniac
July 4th, 2006 at 9:29 pm
The “Mayo pits” joke sounds like one of Gary Larson’s brainstorming sketches from the Far Side retrospective book, under which he’d write that he has no idea what he was thinking when he scribbled that down before doing a REAL comic.
Topliff
July 4th, 2006 at 9:35 pm
Cherry pits would have worked – color wise too. Red would have been a good contrast. Arm pits, even Zazu Pitts, but basically Crock is the pits. And why is Von wearing a half alien half bike helmet when there is no bike to be seen?
Eamonn an Chnuic
July 4th, 2006 at 9:42 pm
I’ve been staring at this comic for ten minutes now and I really just don’t get it. It’s not just that its not funny, it really makes no sense at all. Unless of course “mayo” and “tar” rhyme and I’m crazy. Also, why in heaven’s name are three members of the Frence Foreign Legion being led by a circus ringmaster?
roydrink
July 4th, 2006 at 9:50 pm
Yowza, it’s really bad when B.C. is funnier than Crock…
King Folderol
July 4th, 2006 at 9:53 pm
Crock kind of turned my stomach.
But today’s Mary Worth took the cake. I couldn’t even follow her tortured analogy. Is she implying that she murdered the doctor and buried him in the backyard? And why is the part of the backyard behind the screen door gray? What kind of insane tinted window does their oh-so-depressing apartment complex install for their residents?
This was one of those comics that made me want to walk away from the comics forever.
daintyjune
July 4th, 2006 at 10:20 pm
although the strip absoulutely does suck, if you make mayo at home from scratch, it is actually yellowish. only the commercial stuff is totally white.
Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
July 4th, 2006 at 10:22 pm
If Josh were not such a Gil Thorp neophyte, this whole golf cart/3-eyed alien(panel 1)/fat guy thing would all be easier to comprehend. You see, it can all be clarified by the simple reality that This Strip Is Not Very Good.
AwfulArt
July 4th, 2006 at 10:27 pm
What a “Crock” of Brad & Angelina Pitt..!!
J Rob
July 4th, 2006 at 10:43 pm
I typed “mayo pits” into google and got one result. Some lesbian porn site. In French.
Maybe the Crock guy was just trying to hook us up with some Gynaeotropic action.
Happy Bastille Day to me!
Disembodied Brain in a Fluid-filled Jar
July 4th, 2006 at 11:16 pm
…why are there tar pits in the desert?
Carrots
July 4th, 2006 at 11:26 pm
I giggled at Crock. Am I a bad person?
Danny
July 4th, 2006 at 11:53 pm
So, what are those things walking through the desert? Because to me they look like a vertical black line, with a bird’s head on top, and various green shit thrown on for good measure. And one of them is holding a net, aparently to designate them as explores, or atleast as someone who might walk through a desert, next to…mayo pits.
Craig Shergold
July 5th, 2006 at 12:06 am
Why is she talking to the back of a Mexican wrestler’s head? And why is he calling my Mandy?
Majeur Mayo
July 5th, 2006 at 1:05 am
Mayo is white! White, people! Not yellow!
well, in US maybe
Mibbitmaker
July 5th, 2006 at 1:07 am
Given the yellow color, the second panel should’ve read “Mustard Pits”. The word “tar” is IN the word “musTARd”. Still wouldn’t be funny… or make any sense… but at least it’d've been slightly clever.
Zeeba
July 5th, 2006 at 1:22 am
…or “feather” pits… could have done something with that… though it still would not make sense…
Mibbitmaker
July 5th, 2006 at 2:07 am
7/5:
Garfield: The Great Comics Gross-Out continues…
Blondie: The Great Dagwood Sell-Out continues…
Curtis: Good joke today, but it seems (esp. in the last panel) like Curtis’s cap is growing at an alarming rate. Soon enough, it’ll cover the entire strip!
Zits: Yeah, that’s it, Jeremy; just kill off all people after they reach 25 or 30. Is that what you want, Zitler?
Cathy: They’re sucking… your soul dry, Irving. Run while you can! Run like Katie Holmes should!
FOOB: Well, it’s only fair: he started in this strip stalking Lizard; why shouldn’t they stalk him right back? Oh, btw, John, why do you think anyone would see the bilking via gas prices as “justified”?
Spiderman: Yeah, Peter, it’ll help catch the villiain by showing Spiderman showing off right on the bilboard. That’ll only make it look like Spidey’s the…cul…prit………hmmmmm……
FW: First they ruin Calvin & Hobbes on Monday, now it’s Peanuts today. Isn’t it bad enough FW ruined FW a decade and a half ago?
SF: Yeah, your Christmas album… in July. Not gonna sell well, Hilary. You, too, Regis!
Beetle: Gen. Halftrack should join Grampa Foob on the park bench.
Scumbaggioni
July 5th, 2006 at 3:28 am
Mmmmmmm, mayo pits. Jump on in! (I swear, even “stop pits” would’ve been funnier, and maybe two people would get it, and maybe one of those people would’ve thought it was even a little funny.)
http://www.comics.com/comics/monty/archive/monty-20060705.html
Sloppy Lettering/WTF Phrase Alert! “Budsing?” “Budging?” Meddick might be from some area where either one makes sense…but I’m not. God, I miss Robotman… Hell, I miss the talking chimp.
Crapslappers Textbook
Tip #4,521
Want to make Family Circus genuinely funny?
(1) Look up the 6/19 strip.
(2) Ignore the dialogue blurb.
(3) Imagine Daddy has gone insane. Write your own dialogue.
(4) Send the result to Bil “I Can’t Spell Bill” Keane.
(this is actually true of any FC strip)
GotFuzzy
July 5th, 2006 at 5:59 am
Von wears a helmet because he’s, you know, “special” (please don’t bring your wrath upon me, Finger-Quotin’ Margo!). And nice that he goes right for the ethnic stereotype by accusing Mandy of stealing the cart. Also, Rap-Dog is looking awfully pretty in panel 3.
Maybe the writer in Crock (no, I don’t care enough to go look up who it is) puts tar on his BLT. That’s about the only explanation I can think of.
Today, the foobs join the good folks of Charterstone in their enjoyment of beige, globby food. And Satchel speaks words of wisdom so profound they make me want to stitch them on a pillow.
BigJoe
July 5th, 2006 at 7:56 am
A3G: Two days of standing in the rain and Ted’s force field is still preventing all rain from hitting his body.
Frank Drackman
July 5th, 2006 at 7:57 am
“Arm Pits” with a bunch of severed bleeding arms would have been good. Crock used to do alot of homophobic humor, Crocks “Aide de Camp” was a lisping effeminate character, a staple of the humor was the Aide recomending something tasteful to decorate Crocks Tent, while Crock would pick the Painting of a Killer Missile.
sephohnek
July 5th, 2006 at 8:01 am
“tar” and “mayo” seem like precisely the kind of paring likely to get a succesful “google whack”, that is, they are words not likely to be found in similar context for any reason, not even ironically.
BigJoe
July 5th, 2006 at 8:04 am
MW: Whoa, all of a sudden this strip is turning a bit risqué. “Someone else also enjoys the scene.” Is anyone else assuming that the man eyeing Mary from the bushes is pantless?
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20060705&name=Mary_Worth
TheRay
July 5th, 2006 at 8:17 am
Tartar sauce, maybe, and then mayo? Because they’re…both…condiments? Not that I’m defending this strip…
ez_E
July 5th, 2006 at 8:25 am
Can anybody explain the July 5th TDIET? Migraina (must be Castrata’s day off) likes to exercise (of course, of course!) and then she makes her cleaning lady do her job? How dare she? I share the cleaning lady’s response, “Huh? W-Wha?”
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/fun/tdiet.asp
MaryAnnTheRest
July 5th, 2006 at 8:50 am
Are we still doing the Pluggers contest? Because I finally thought of one: In the absence of weights, Pluggers employ isometrics.
Now I’m gonna check out the price on that licorice T-shirt.
Hogenmogen
July 5th, 2006 at 8:56 am
MW: The stalking man is wearing a bad Hawiian shirt. How bad? The pattern has leapt from the shirt to wrap itself around the head of the wearer in a boa-constrictor-like attempt to suffocate him before purchasing any more similar items and wreaking havoc on the fashion world’s sensibilities.
TDIET: I’m not even going to bother with the obvious problems that occur every day with TDIET, but I noticed that migrana has a cleaning woman but no furniture. Talk about mixed up priorities.
Foobs: Paul Doo-Wright, after meeting the Foobs has drawn inspiration from desperate Mary Worth characters choosing to end it all rather than endure one more torturous moment in their excruciating presence by stabbing oneself in the throat with a fork covered in some pulpy, vagely food-like substance.
dlauthor
July 5th, 2006 at 9:02 am
Curtis: Wait, it’s not made by seven-year-olds in Malaysia? Globalization has failed!
GF: Satch in panel 1 seems more lucid than usual. It’s actually kinda nice to see.
Spidey: Good, good. Publicity shots of yourself, then go after the woman who tried to murder your wife. Way to keep track of priorities, putz.
Pluggers: If many, many people submit the same joke, doesn’t that make it a cliche? Do Pluggers care about cliches? Do they know what cliches are?
Mallard: GAAAAAH, MY EYES. And, of course, the whole premise is BS, but BS is one of Tinsley’s four food groups (along with artistic incompetence, constant repetition, and barely-held-in-check bigotry).
Foob: Run, Dudley. RUN. Note how the Foobersons are so self-absorbed, they don’t even seem to notice that he isn’t answering any of their questions. Plus “What do you think of the current political situation” is scalp-tearingly vague. Political situation where? Ontario? Canada? The US? The world? John, just ask what’s on most Canadians’ minds: “how the hell did we get hoodwinked into electing that cataclysmic tool, Stephen Harper?”
Also, Goosebutt: the only reason that question embarrasses you so much is that you know the answer is no, and don’t want to be forced to (a) lie in front of your saintly family, or (b) tell your roadside buddy that you’re going to dump him for Granthony by summer’s end, assuming Lynn doesn’t deus ex machina you out of it by making him stay up in Mtigwikkawakkaland.
Monty: I like the strip, but is there any aspect of Monty’s character that isn’t reprehensible? One wonders if Meddick’s self-image is a trifle … tainted.
Red and Rover: I give Red six weeks before the melanomas eat his whole face.
TDIET: Oh, my goodness … you mean to tell me she’s asking the person who agreed to clean her home to … um … clean … her … home? Once again, this strip makes something less than no sense. Of course, of course.
Hogenmogen
July 5th, 2006 at 9:07 am
MW: Gardening? Is this the pressing matter that was of such great importance that she couldn’t accompany the man she loves (even in her insect-like robotic way) to selflessly give to those poor Camboian children only searching for a better life?
I admit that Dr. Jeff’s offer came a bit late in the game. That’s a topic that hasn’t been given enough light on this site. If my girlfriend/boyfriend or even co-worker suddenly said “Oh, I’m leaving tomorrow for Cambodia for a few months. Want to come?” I’d have more than a head-bob-moment to comprehend that someone that I cared about was planning this major excursion for some time (as a health care professional, you just can’t rush off for a few months and leave your patients in a lurch) and not bothered to tell me until the night before, when they are asking for a ride to the airport. Then the “Wanna come?” invite – that’s nervy. An invite that doesn’t want to be accepted.
Maybe it was a test to see if Mary’s devotion to Jeff was greater than her devotion to – uh, her gardening. Well, on that level, Mary failed. Dr. Jeff wasn’t really going to Cambodia, but to Vegas. If Mary gave up her meddling lifestyle and came, they’d get one of those quickie marriages presided over by an Elvis impersonator. If not, well, then Jeff spends a few months drinking, gambling and enjoying the legalized prostitution. Woo-hoo! Hang on, Jeff, next round is on me!
Adfella
July 5th, 2006 at 9:12 am
MALLARD FILLMORE QUESTION
Is it possible that even die-hard, foaming-at-the-mouth Conservatives find Mallard Fillmore funny?
Hogenmogen
July 5th, 2006 at 9:20 am
Although Dinette Set is never ever ever ever (repeat 50 more times) funny, I’m finding today’s 7/5/06 to be incomprehensible. One woman offers more food, and another declines because she’s on a diet. Deep in the background are notes by the phone which have the “shrink’s” number as 911 and “Mom & Dad’s” number as 411. I was amused slightly at that, but that’s not the intended joke for which the strip was created. Why does anyone publish it? For that matter, why does anyone bother to draw it?
Dondi
July 5th, 2006 at 9:26 am
I don’t foam at the mouth, but I’m fairly conservative and Mallard Fillmore just ain’t funny.
BigJoe
July 5th, 2006 at 9:30 am
#32 – The joke was that her parents were grabbing food off her plate after finishing theirs. She tells them there’s more in the oven, but her ma says they can’t take seconds on their diet. Stealing from her plate doesn’t count as having “seconds”.
“Invasion of the Locusts” on her noteboard was also relevant, based on her parent’s eating pattern.
Hogenmogen
July 5th, 2006 at 9:43 am
#34 – Thanks, Joe. Now that you’ve explained it I no longer find it incomprehensible, just completely devoid of humor. Sounds a lot like that “Mayo Pits” problem in Crock.
James Schend
July 5th, 2006 at 9:46 am
You know in France, they put tar on their french fries instead of mayo.
Racing J
July 5th, 2006 at 9:51 am
Hey. Did anybody read Zippy the Pinhead today? How did this get in the paper?
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20060705&name=Zippy_the_Pinhead
Or maybe It’s just my imagination.
Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
July 5th, 2006 at 10:04 am
Sometimes a hot dog is just a hot dog, but not this time.
AirForbes
July 5th, 2006 at 10:18 am
#28: At least I can understand why the food is beige and lumpy in Foob – it’s Elly’s cooking. What I don’t understand is why the food looks like this when Dr. Jeff is paying good money for it at what’s supposed to be a fancy restaurant.
Gee
July 5th, 2006 at 10:23 am
Dinette Set: If Patty made “(3) single size portions for dinner”, how come there’s “lots more in the oven”?? Perhaps she’s just trying to distract the two large guests while they apparently lunge their grubby hands towards her plate.
Also, it’s nice that she wrote out her list with a head-sized blank spot so we’d be able to read the to-do’s without any missing words.
MF: Apparently even *he* can’t draw Ann without making her look like her weird angles will poke someone’s eye out.
t007
July 5th, 2006 at 10:24 am
That is EXACTLY what I thought. I read that thing 5 times thinking “tar” and “mayo” were somehow connected…then I remembered..oh yeah this is CROCK. heh!
Frank Drackman
July 5th, 2006 at 10:29 am
Seeing #33s moniker made me recall a horrible comic strip from the 70’s called “Dondi” about the adventures of a young boy of the same name. It would be perfect fodder for this site if its still printed somewhere.
dlauthor
July 5th, 2006 at 10:40 am
40: Tinsley probably considers Coulter the paragon of “feminine” beauty, however. Note the shading on her throat, too, cunningly concealing the Adam’s apple. He also did an impressive job of retaining the Annorexic look while eliminating that just-back-from-the-mummifiers look “her” face has attained.
Of course, one could also point out that Coulter’s “sales” actually stem, to an unknown degree, from bulk orders — a common tactic meant to inflate a book’s standing in the Bestseller list, and one that has been used with Coulter before. But that wouldn’t be fair and balanced, would it?
MossMoses
July 5th, 2006 at 10:41 am
One (unlikely) theory for the mayo pits is that “mei you” (prounounced mayo) in Chinese means no or none as in “no pits”. That would explain why the “meiyou” pits don’t look like pits at all and are the same color as the surrounding countryside. It’s still not funny but neither are pits of mayonaise.
Regarding that perv staring at Mary Worth from behind the bushes – Dude, go to the wharf and stare at plumpers and selkies. How utterly desperate you must be to stare at that biddy old hag.
GotFuzzy
July 5th, 2006 at 10:54 am
Don’t ask me why, but I just read a solid month of TDIETs. I feel the need to poke my eyes out and get my brain erased.
Crimson Executioner
July 5th, 2006 at 10:57 am
I can’t imagine this is what Crock was getting at, but yes indeed, there is a relationship between tar and mayo.
Goeckerman Treatment
Developed 70 years ago by a Mayo Clinic dermatologist, the treatment is a three-week program of daily ultraviolet light therapy and tar applications. Mayo Clinic is one of the few places in the world offering it. Dr. Alison Bruce, a Mayo Clinic dermatologist says the Goeckerman Treatment remains an effective, affordable therapy for psoriasis. “We know the long-term results because we’ve been doing it for many years,” she says.
AwfulArt
July 5th, 2006 at 11:02 am
# 42. N.Y. Daily News carried “Dondi” for many years, years ago. I thought it was very good strip. Use to be on the cover of Sundays comics..”Dick Tracy” was on the cover for years..Dondi died & the worthless News doesn’t carry “Dick” any more..
rich
July 5th, 2006 at 11:19 am
Where can I get me one of those Dr. Jeff commemorative plates ?
Jessica
July 5th, 2006 at 11:20 am
Do you know how slow golf carts are? How is it possible that Rap Dog can’t keep up with one?
Benicillin
July 5th, 2006 at 11:23 am
The sad thing for me is that I thought Josh’s headline was referring to Gil Thorp, so I thought the freak Brent was chugging mayo there in the final panel. Pretty smooth there Josh, leading with a different strip than your headline was intended to draw us in to. Or maybe just manipulative.
Oh, and the Crock strip is actually quite hilarious, people, and quite enlightening. “Mayo Pits” as in “MYOPIC.” A whimsical play on words, yet a multi-layered emotionally charged statement against prejudice and bias. “Myopia” can refer to a lack of foresight or narrow-mindedness. As in, narrow-minded people only accept Mayonnaise as white, mustard as yellow, ketchup as red. Dammit friends, they’re selling green ketchup in the stores right now. Now that you see the clever wordplay, aren’t you reconsidering Crock as awesome and funny? I mean, not “TDIET” funny, but at least a chuckle or two?
I tried.
D.A. Pennington
July 5th, 2006 at 11:24 am
Today’s FOOB: In the 3rd panel Dr. Patterson asks Paul about his politics and how he feels about the rising gas prices. What do you think his reaction will be when the Mountie tells him he is in full support of the Iraq war, is a Bush supporter and is taking his daughter anally.
dlauthor
July 5th, 2006 at 11:44 am
51: “Well, I’m against the war and the President, but at least we’ve got something in common.”
brendan
July 5th, 2006 at 12:03 pm
GT, 4th panel: wtf is up with that arm holding the bottle? It can’t belong to the woman (?) drinking, because the angle is all wrong, and besides the forearm is larger than her entire head.
It’s like the Arm and Hammer baking soda logo is making a cameo appearance.
King Dogmeat
July 5th, 2006 at 12:08 pm
Hey all you Crock-bashers out there! You are all, in a word, correct. True, Crock is not funny. It even stinks. But, what are you doing about it? Stop complaining and let’s see some action.
By the way, has any concoction (supposedly for human consumption) ever been made that was more disgusting than mayonnaise? I thought not!
GotFuzzy
July 5th, 2006 at 12:13 pm
That fluffy-haired person is Brent Raptor (see, I said he was looking awfully pretty there!). And the arm is yet another example of the ridiculous art in (DT)GT. We have previously seen what looks like someone holding a cell phone with his foot, a character slapping his forehead with someone else’s hand, Jimmy the dwarf, and my personal favorite–horse-faced Marjie, so this is nothing.
Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
July 5th, 2006 at 12:30 pm
#55: Not to mention how it looks like Von’s head was carved from a 2 by 4
Justafoob
July 5th, 2006 at 12:33 pm
They are going to shut Apwil up when they respond, “Oh, we are not getting married, Dudley is just my fuck-buddy from up north. He came down so that we can hook up with Granthony in a three-way. Granthony is the ultimate bottom and we both look forward to using and abusing him.”
Of course, this conversation will bring in Gwampa who has been lurking outside dreaming of his lost “youth”.
Frank Drackman
July 5th, 2006 at 12:34 pm
One of the major events of my freshman year in medical school was “Lunch with the Dean”. He would invite 4 students to have lunch with him in his office. He was famous for always eating Baloney sandwiches at lunch, drenched in mayonaise. To my horror thats what he expected us to eat also. The other 3 asskissers dutifully scarfed down their sandwhiches while I tried to nibble at the crust and toss it in the garbage when he wasn’t looking. I still hate that bastard.
Dennis Jimenez
July 5th, 2006 at 12:46 pm
Re: post 48: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28722?issue=4227&special=1998
Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
July 5th, 2006 at 12:53 pm
Tar and mayonnaise are nearly identical substances in that both will kill you if you eat enough.
Librarian of Congress
July 5th, 2006 at 1:09 pm
Anything will kill you if you get too much. It is the dose that makes the poison. Even water.
Benicillin
July 5th, 2006 at 1:22 pm
How can you not like mayo????
Nothing beats a sammich with Hellman’s.
kostia
July 5th, 2006 at 1:30 pm
It’s so stupid that Crock isn’t funny. If someone had ever said to me, “I’m gonna write a comic strip where all the characters are in the French Foreign Legion,” I would’ve thought that was a recipe for gold. I just don’t understand why it didn’t work.
Hogenmogen
July 5th, 2006 at 1:32 pm
#40 – Gee – Actually, I think Ann Coulter isn’t too bad looking. She’s been showing her age lately as her shrewish personna is starting to poke through. She tries to cover it up by dressing like a trollop in order to sell books (low-cut, black, tight dress – tell me that’s what she wears to church) while claiming to hold some superior moral high ground, but that’s an argument that would be better served on a conservative blog instead of this one. But I blame Mallard for intentionally blurring the line between comics and half baked political rant.
Trudeau has his political slant and all that, but he carries it out via characters and plot. A story line of his involves fictional people and a progress of events in chronological form. Tinsley believes that a story line is several strips in a row that lambaste all the UN peacekeepers for criminal actions of a few peacekeepers. I wish that I had a job where I could write a headline, draw a duck next to it and sell that for enough money to make a living. I’d work for a good, hard twenty minutes per day before packing it in and wiping the sweat from my brow.
So Mallard has my vote for worst strip of all time. Not only is it consistently unfunny, but it is written by a self-important, smug SOB and caters to a rich establishment elite who feel the need to bully on those who do not share their political viewpoint in addition to desperately seeking confirmation that their selfish hard-hearted attitude is acceptable because those poor Cambodians with cleft pallates are contemptible, despicable people and therefore not worthy of charity. Crock, TDIET, Gil Thorp all have their problems, but none are vindictively destructive to a free society. (dt)MF!
Hogenmogen
July 5th, 2006 at 1:41 pm
Sorry for the rant above. May I quickly point out the way that Von’s helmet somehow turned into a slurpee?
bupdaddy
July 5th, 2006 at 1:41 pm
#39 – The food in foob looks like that because it’s Canada. They eat tar there, you know.
Hogenmogen
July 5th, 2006 at 1:49 pm
#49 – Jessica – Brent is too fat and slow to keep up. Keep notes if you have to, but ALWAYS LISTEN TO MAMA RAPTOR.
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2006/5/8&name=Gil_Thorp
GotFuzzy
July 5th, 2006 at 2:19 pm
Amen to Hogenmogen, both for his righteous indignation towards (dt)MF and his trust in Mama Rap-Dog.
Apparently Von is majoring in sleight-of-hand in college.
Vu42
July 5th, 2006 at 2:26 pm
This’ll not be too popular, as a lot of comments lately seem to be of the “crappy coloring” variety, but – coloring on the daily comics are probably done by your newspaper! The artists do the coloring on the Sunday comics, but the everyday comics – that’s someone on the staff of your newspaper. So stop raggin’ on the comic. Email your newspaper.
Unless you live in a blue state. Then it’s Bush’s fault.
Librarian of Congress
July 5th, 2006 at 2:58 pm
The coloring of daily comics is done by the syndicate. Your local paper is lucky if they can get Herb Tarlek into work sober enough to sell some ad space much less have any staff to break out the Crayolas.
Adam
July 5th, 2006 at 2:59 pm
Has no one noticed the size of the woman’s hand in the last panel of Gil Thorpe!? Surely she must be suffering from some debilitating disease that causes her hand and arm to swell to Popeye-esque proportions! She doesn’t even have a wrist, for goodness sake!
Frank Drackman
July 5th, 2006 at 3:00 pm
Hmm Mary Worths got quite the gams for an old meddler, I don’t think that guys a rapist though, more likely a creepy flasher who’ll show MW his goods. Jeffys leg warmer? blue jeans still bother me, hes up in the tree with 3 other kids, all wearing jeans, but his are the only ones that look like that.
Vu42
July 5th, 2006 at 3:09 pm
Uh, no, Library of Congress. Our local paper colors the “top 10″ comics. Started a year ago. They have a guy on staff who does what he thinks looks good. All the rest are black and white. As they are in most newspapers. The next city over has all color daily comics. Guess what? The colors are different than they are in the paper I get. And the syndicates don’t color the Sunday comics, either. Some cartoonists do the coloring, others specify the colors and have it filled in by a group in Buffalo NY.
Librarian of Congress
July 5th, 2006 at 3:16 pm
Then I am the moron.
Sorry.
Vu42
July 5th, 2006 at 3:20 pm
Nothing to be sorry about – just didn’t know. As I didn’t until I called the paper and asked them (and a cartoonist I met at a book signing).
Josh
July 5th, 2006 at 3:21 pm
Vu42-
I’m can’t speak to what happens in print, but the online daily comics from King Features (which is the largest syndicate) are colored by King Features (or, more likely, some outsourced group, but King hires them). The coloring is exactly the same anywhere online you see a King Features comic, because it’s the same graphic file, and that’s the graphic file I use on this site. Any color comic you see on this site is colored by King, and those are the coloring jobs that I make fun of. I’d like to put them up in black and white, as God intended the daily strips to be, but this is the only form I can get King strips in online. Thankfully, the other syndicates put black-and-white strips online.
Like I said, I’m sure individual papers do their own thing. Personally, I don’t like any coloring of the daily strips unless it’s done by the actual artist. It doesn’t seem right that the artist doesn’t have control over how the strip looks.
Sunday strips are a different kettle of fish, obviously; there the artist is in charge of the coloring job. Mary Worth in particular seems to have trouble coordinating the colors of the Sunday strips (colored by the artist) and the daily strips, as colored by King for the online version. Who knows, maybe at individual newspapers where they do their own coloring, they get it right.
jf
Holy Prepuce
July 5th, 2006 at 3:26 pm
Nice use of the correct “tenterhooks.”
Vu42
July 5th, 2006 at 3:29 pm
Thanks for the clarification. I was referring solely to the comics that run in the papers – not online.
Re. the poor quality of some of the online coloring (by an outsourced group?) – another example of going with the lowest bid?
I heard For Better or For Worse has a staff member whose main job is to color the Sunday comic (print). We get it large size – and it’s really involved.
brendan
July 5th, 2006 at 3:32 pm
#18: “btw, John, why do you think anyone would see the bilking via gas prices as “justifiedâ€?”
Gas prices in Canada are, as a rule, as insane and unpleasant as my baby-mamma and her family.
Last time I was in that godforsaken country of FOOBs, it was around $1.25/liter.
A gallon = 3.785 liters.
So you’re talking gas prices well over $4.00/gallon.
#66: #39 – The food in foob looks like that because it’s Canada. They eat tar there, you know.
Or creton. Might as well be the same thing…
Vile stuff.
Scumbaggioni
July 5th, 2006 at 3:47 pm
It’s telling that Bruce Tinsley promotes someone who regularly calls for the murder of American citizens, including war veterans. Oh, why do neo-cons hate America?
Tom Tomorrow captures both Ann Coulter’s physical and inner beauty. (In the interest of being fair and balanced, however, he completely ignores that gi-normous Adam’s apple DLAuthor mentioned above–#43–pulsating in her neck like an embryonic alien parasite about to burst free…)
http://www.workingforchange.com/comic.cfm?itemid=20975
#64–Hoegenmogen sez: “Tinsley believes that a story line is several strips in a row that lambaste all the UN peacekeepers for criminal actions of a few…”
Indeed. Since the last time I mentioned the irony of those strips in relation to the Haditha door-to-door revenge murders, it has, sadly, become even more ironic with the revelation of a rape-murder plot carried out against a young woman and her family–including a seven-year-old–by a small group of Marines in Baghdad.
Again, I have to ask: will Tinsley now repeat those strips–
http://jewishworldreview.com/strips/mallard/2000/mallard052906.asp
http://jewishworldreview.com/strips/mallard/2000/mallard060506.asp
–with the USMC in place of the UN? …Yeah, I didn’t think so. Nothing defines “worthless f***ing hypocrite” like Bruce Tinsley.
MossMoses
July 5th, 2006 at 3:48 pm
“has any concoction (supposedly for human consumption) ever been made that was more disgusting than mayonnaise”
Go out and kill a lamb, cut it up, take out the stomach, liver, lungs and the rest of the guts inside the lamb. Discard rest of lamb, stir bloody guts into disgusting stew and season to taste.
mmm…Haggis!
Hogenmogen
July 5th, 2006 at 3:54 pm
A3G: “No, Lucy didn’t spend the night here, Ted.”
You mean, out on the sidewalk? In the rain?
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20060705&name=Apartment_3-G
Marc
July 5th, 2006 at 3:55 pm
Mary gon’ get raped!….by a peeping tom!! Oh ho ho!
Hogenmogen
July 5th, 2006 at 4:01 pm
#37 – Racing J – The part I didn’t get about Zippy is the way that the hot dog is behind them to the right in the first panel, directly to the right of them in the second panel, behind them to the left in the third panel, and then the two Z’s have apparently made an abrupt 90 degree swerve to the left. If you can understand that, or the 95% of Zippy comics that are so arcane as to be spectacular in thier opacity, then you may be of a higher order of consciousness than those who would censor the Zipster if they could just figure out what the hell he’s talking about.
Hogenmogen
July 5th, 2006 at 4:09 pm
Scumbaggioni, included in your link is a great Mallard: The sixth one down.
http://jewishworldreview.com/strips/mallard/2000/mallard060506.asp
“Sticking it to the man” is “a great feeling.” Sounds kinda Brokeback to me, Tinsley.
Heather Fieldhouse
July 5th, 2006 at 4:17 pm
The FDA specifically prohibits the use of turmeric or saffron in commercial mayonnaise. This prevents manufacturers from using these spices to color the mayonnaise yellow. Presumably yellow mayonnaise is seen as more desirable because it appears to have a greater proportion of egg yolks.
Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
July 5th, 2006 at 4:35 pm
This site is truly amazing, and I’m not being sarcastic. I come here to laugh at what’s unintentionally funny about the funnies and in the process, I wind up learning all kinds of fun facts about condiments. Plus, I am now deathly afraid of leaving the lid to my toilet up.
Islamorada Girl
July 5th, 2006 at 5:12 pm
I’m wondering if Mary Worth’s peeper might be her long-lost prodigal son, who hasn’t been seen in decades.
Racing J
July 5th, 2006 at 5:56 pm
Hogenmogen – take a look at the hotdog and bun in the last panel. It’s clearly supposed to be an ass shot of a woman with something stuck in there.
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20060705&name=Zippy_the_Pinhead
I trying to say this tactfully so I don’t offend anybody. But that’s what it is.
I’m kind of torn on my intial reaction. #1 I hate Zippy and I wish it would go away. #2 If Zippy does stuff like this and it causes riots in the middle east or something, I’m all for it.
dlauthor
July 5th, 2006 at 6:22 pm
You can learn more about mayonnaise blah blah blah blah.
Racing J
July 5th, 2006 at 6:29 pm
Hogenmogen – Forgive me if I repeat myself. The last post got held up in the anti-spam machine, so I don’t know if it will post.
If you look at the last panal of Zippy today, the bun and hotdog are clearly a woman’s rearend and an item inserted into it.
Is that tactful enough?
Sorrry for the double post.
Bitter Scribe
July 5th, 2006 at 7:33 pm
I’m going to try to explain Crock.
Tar is smelly and bad to step in.
Vast puddles of mayonnaise left out in the desert sun would smell even worse and be even less pleasant to step in.
So these poor guys have it so bad, they don’t just have to worry about tar like ordinary Schmoes–they have to wend their way past mayonnaise! BWAAAH hahahahaha! Doncha get it?…
[crickets]
I’m going to Moe’s.
Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
July 5th, 2006 at 8:07 pm
Racing J (90): Yes, but many (most?) of Zippy’s strange objects are in fact real. In this case it’s a famous hot dog stand in Hollywood called Tail of the Pup: http://www.seeing-stars.com/Images/Slides/TailOfThePup.JPG . If it’s a landmark on a public street, it’s hard to justify censoring it from the papers.
Evil neocon
July 5th, 2006 at 8:31 pm
#80 scumbaggioni
“Oh, why do neo-cons hate america?”
I don’t know…why do you hate the evil jooooooos?
AwfulArt
July 5th, 2006 at 9:05 pm
Optical illusion in todays “FoxTrot”.. Never seen that in a strip before…
The Jews
July 5th, 2006 at 9:27 pm
Hey! Don’t lump us in with you guys. We don’t want Dick Cheney.
Dub Not Dubya
July 5th, 2006 at 11:19 pm
Of course it stinks. It smells like rotten mayo, after all.
Scumbaggioni
July 5th, 2006 at 11:49 pm
#93:
Because the evil jooooooos killed jeeeeeeebus.
…jeeeeeeebus, of course, being the coincidental name of a race of sentient beings on the planet squeeeeeeep. The evil jooooooos, also of planet squeeeeeeep, totally wiped them out, and I can never forgive that.
Oh, wait, you mean “Jews.” I don’t recall ever calling them “evil” (evidence to the contrary always welcome), and I can bring myself to spell the word properly without cowering and hissing…so maybe you’re thinking of someone else. Like that hideous pinhead in the bathroom mirror who’s always imitating everything you do…
If you’re want someone who hates Jews, mention Al Franken at a White House A2M Daisy Chain or at FOX News.
http://patriotboy.blogspot.com/2006_07_02_patriotboy_archive.html#115205133179072443
(Oh, and hi, Goober. Can’t keep away from the personal attacks, hah? Tsk, that’s just…sad.
Class dismissed.)
tefflan
July 6th, 2006 at 6:35 am
Gil Thorpe: Mandy. Never thought I’d see her again. It’s “Nancy!” Remember her? Well, she’s finally grown into a fine young woman and changed her name for comic strip reasons, but look at the hair. That’s her, all right.
Dan
July 6th, 2006 at 8:01 am
I like jooooooooooos. Particularly orange.
tefflan
July 6th, 2006 at 8:48 am
Josh, I really like the idea of your site, but some people just can’t leave the politics and religion out of their comments and just have fun, you know?
rich
July 6th, 2006 at 12:20 pm
88: Mary has a long-lost son??
I’d been under the impression that her hubby croaked on their wedding night, and the porcelain swans represented Mary’s still-preserved virginity.
Grendell
July 6th, 2006 at 2:21 pm
#101: Seems to me John Patterson is taking over the comments.
Islamorada Girl
July 6th, 2006 at 6:49 pm
I am humiliated to admit that I’ve been reading Mary Worth for decades, starting when I was just learning to puzzle out words in the Philadelphia Bulletin.
For those of you who are still reading, yes, Mary has a son. Over at the daughter ship, we think his name is Warren, but no one can recall. But he is a prodigal rapscallion, a con man and an opportunist, who used to turn up from time to time to break Mare’s heart, then disappear again.
And by the way, bigotry sucks. Go troll somewhere where they want you, like Mallard Fillmore.
Scumbaggioni
July 6th, 2006 at 6:59 pm
Oh, hell.
In post #98, I meant to cite post #94, not #93.
(I’ve been doing that a lot lately. Sorry.)
Vu42
July 7th, 2006 at 8:11 am
98: Al Franken is Jewish? He thinks a Bar Mitzvah is a place that serves drinks on the Lower East Side.
Fox News? That mouthpiece for neocons and Bush? I get so sick of those blathering mouthpieces for the right. Just this last week I sat through diatribes by Juan Williams and Mara Liason of National Public Radio – they make Gengis Khan look like Mother Teresa. And a rolling commentary by that turncoat John Kerry. And two interviews by people posing as “spokespersons for the DNC” or “Democratic consultant.” Yeah, right. They went on and on and on. Fox just gives these reactionaries an open platform. Gotta shut them down and make sure the proper viewpoints are heard.
Scumbaggioni
July 7th, 2006 at 2:48 pm
#106: Yes, Al Franken is Jewish. Wow, a minute on Google would’ve confirmed that. But you know what our glorious leaders say: “Facts, schmacts.”
Oh, I get it. By listing people who have appeared on FOX News who aren’t foaming-at-the-mouth Reightwingers, you make them seem “fair and balanced.” Yes, that’ll work…no one who’s ever watched at least one of their news broadcasts will EVER see through that…
http://mediamatters.org/issues_topics/outlets/foxnewschannel
http://www.crooksandliars.com/
http://www.fair.org/index.php?page=19&media_outlet_id=2
…Oh. Well, maybe SOME people will.
Oh, and isn’t THAT charming? Your last sentence tries to make it seem like that’s what I want by equating any open criticism with fascist eradication! Even though I’ve never suggested any such thing! What a brilliant tactic! You are SO clever! I’m certain the GOP would like to hire you to sit in on White House press conferences pretending to be a journalist and feeding Tony Snow puffball questions! You should call. Seriously.
(Sorry, Josh, tried my best. But I knew at the time that making such a promise was like declaring open season on myself…)
Vu42
July 8th, 2006 at 11:37 am
Sorry to burst your bubble, but my comments weren’t about you. It was more along the lines, of say, reactions surrounding Harvard’s ex-President Summers positing a question to a group of academics and getting a load of emotion instead of reason. Or the MSU professor who wrote an email detailing Moslem atrocities (slavery, etc) and finds himself the object of a hate campaign launched by CAIR. While I may think that a number of the people who have shows on FOX are ideological bobbleheads, at least they invite people to come on who are diametrically opposed to their ideology. And I’m amazed at how many duck the invitations. A couple of the hosts do engage in a bit of namecalling, but by and large I’ve found that radical left makes it personal while the radical right makes some attempt to keep the discussion on the issues.
And just how did the forum political discussion place get the name COCKPIT?!!? What is this – males only or transgendered female bigotry?
Dave Williams
September 16th, 2006 at 8:14 pm
Crock Rules, it is a comic stip with an edge, yes the particular one is not funny but Garfield has made books that five year olds are too grown up for.
Mike
October 19th, 2006 at 7:36 am
Crock is so fantastically pathetic that it actually generates an “Unfunny-Negative Laughter” field that sucks the life out of anyone that reads it. Every time you read Crock you take a few days off of your life span.
Seriously, would anyone actually miss Crock if it weren’t in the paper? How could that be, since almost ANY OTHER strip would be better.
Prehumous
February 17th, 2007 at 3:38 pm
Everybody loathes Crock. I can’t think of a single person whose reaction to the death of Crock would be, “Huh, whatever happened to that… uuh… hey, look, Garfield just moved to a new spot! Woohoo!”.