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Love, booze, and poop

Garfield and For Better Or For Worse, 7/28/06

I know I haven’t really said anything about it, but Garfield has had a real actual storyline going on for, like, two weeks or something now, and there are non-Garfield/Jon/Odie characters, and backgrounds other than the featureless void of Jon’s house, and dynamic tension and Jon even kisses a girl! The reason I haven’t said anything about this is that despite what appears to be some sort of real effort to inject some energy into the strip, it’s still excruciatingly lame and not funny. There, I said it. Sorry, Paws, Inc., toilers, but my reaction to this plotline has been a sort of tepid “Huh, that’s weird,” for about three seconds each day, promptly forgotten until the next day’s strip persists with the weirdness.

Meanwhile, much as so many of us love to hate For Better Or For Worse, it still undeniably drives passions. I have to admit rather shamefully that I’ve been totally involved in this week’s horrifying Liz-Anthony meet-cute at the car dealership, and I said a little cheer at Lizardbreath’s thought balloon which I hope — oh dear God of Canada PLEASE — means that she’s afraid of leading him on because she doesn’t want to break his heart again. Let him down easy now, Liz! For his good! For your good! FOR OUR GOOD!

Apartment 3-G, 7/28/06

“Hello! I’m Eric Mills. You know, I’m not the most attractive man in the world, I’m not really much of a dresser, and, let’s be honest, I frankly don’t have a personality that makes up for either of those factors. And yet I get more action than Don Juan and Casanova put together. I bet you’re wondering how I do it! Well, to find out all my secrets, you’ll need to subscribe to my once-a-month series of cassette tapes, Eric Mills Tells You How To Succeed With The Ladies. But let me give you an example of one of my sure-fire techniques now. Let’s say you’re at a party. What you do is, you find a halfway good-looking girl at the bar, and you check out how much she drinks. Does she drink a lot? Is she by herself? You’re in like flynn! The next thing you do is invite her out for lunch — an early lunch, if you can swing it — and get her good and drunk on whatever second-rate hard liquor she seems to like. I’ll tell you, gents, boozy floozies love it when you can remember their drug of choice; if you have to choose between keeping track of their mother’s name or whether they prefer Smirnoff or Absolut, go with the vodka. Anyway, by the end of the lunch, she’ll be way too drunk to go back to work, and as a gentleman you’ll have to walk her back to her apartment, and so … well, if you can’t take it from there, you need more help than I can give you!

“Oh, one more thing. Did I ever mention I’m a hat man? I love me a drunk girl in a hat. Yowza!”

Marvin, 7/28/06

So is this supposed to mean that Ming Ming has taken such a profoundly satisfying dump that she briefly transcended her individual consciousness and glimpsed a higher plane of reality? Or just that she’s pushed a certain amount of excrement “out” of her “body”? Either way, Marvin makes us long for last week, when it was just being racist.

This entry was posted on Friday, July 28, 2006 at 09:50 pm and is filed under Apartment 3-G, For Better or for Worse, Garfield, Marvin. |

81 responses to “Love, booze, and poop”

  1. schnubby
    July 28th, 2006 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    It’s chin-fingerin’ Margo!

  2. ak_teacher
    July 28th, 2006 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    It’s chin-fingerin’ Margo…with a pimp hat!! Oh, by the way, I too, pray to the God of Canada!!

  3. Fred P.
    July 28th, 2006 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    So, like, what is up with that Tiki-head thing stage left in Marvin?

    And I’d advise that chick to steer clear of Jon. He’s about as useful as a Braille edition of a paint-by-numbers book.

  4. Hippocrass
    July 28th, 2006 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

    So did Marvin get hit by a truck a while back or what? I can understand wanting to broaden your story a bit but this is getting ridiculous.

  5. janisonthewall
    July 28th, 2006 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    Stalkeraldo’s alter ego = wierd Mark Trail panel 2 lurking hybrid porcipine creature. “Stick your freakish finger on THAT, bitch!”

  6. cranky
    July 28th, 2006 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    I’m just amazed that the Central Committee at JimDavisCorp was willing to break the carefully crafted storyline-free rhythm that has spent years ensuring crazy cat ladies’ refrigerators stay covered.

    Let me say regarding this “plot”: Oh God, Liz please, seal the deal. PUT ON A HAT! JON IS CLEARLY A HAT MAN!!!!

  7. movin' meat
    July 28th, 2006 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

    Odd that all of a sudden, this week, a bunch of the old hacks suddenly started running stirps with some vestigal hint of a story story-line. Specifically, Garfield *and* Crock. What are the odds? These guys have been doing one-off gag strips for so long I would never have thought that they could string two, let alone five strips in sequence.

    The end much be nigh.

  8. Hippocrass
    July 28th, 2006 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    Next week we’ll find out that the Garfeild storyline was all just a dream.

    Just a dig, half-assed, disapinting, creepy, wet dream.

    Man, dogs have the craziest dreams, huh?

  9. DaveyK
    July 28th, 2006 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

    Ignore everything else in this Garfield and just focus on the position of their hands. Then let your imagination run riot. You’ll be glad you did.

  10. Swimmy
    July 28th, 2006 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

    Is it just me, or is “She’s just said the right thing!” the most awkward thought to put in his head? I know it was supposed to be a contrast of opposites and all, but I know I would never have that balloon over my head in that situation.

    It would be more like, “Score!”

  11. Aaron
    July 28th, 2006 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

    #8: I was totally thinking that too. It’s like that episode of Dallas or was it Newhart (or both) with the dream that basically erased a whole season.
    #9: Hilarious…but so very wrong.

  12. Maria
    July 28th, 2006 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    What kind of weirdo brings his cat on a date?

    Oh. Jon Arbuckle, that’s who.

  13. Hippocrass
    July 28th, 2006 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

    I can Just see hoe FBOFW is gonna end.
    Anthony marries Liz. 15 years later,the recently “widowed” Anthony changes his name to Aldo and gets an itch to move to Santa Royale, California. It’s all just an elaborate setup for THE GREATEST COMIC STRIP CROSSOVER EVER!!!!

  14. Hippocrass
    July 28th, 2006 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

    sorry, that hoe should be how.

  15. jailbird
    July 28th, 2006 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

    #13 – Anthony has the same molester-stache as Aldo! I’m seeing what you’re saying! This is unprecedented in the world of comix!

  16. Sjofn
    July 28th, 2006 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

    The Newhart I-had-the-strangest-dream finale wiped out the entire show.

    Which was, by the way, the most awesome way to do that cliche ever!

  17. catastrophile
    July 28th, 2006 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

    13 — would that mean that MW is set 15 years in the future, or that FOOB is set 15 years in the past?

    Although I guess with the MW time dilation, 15 FOOB years could pass in the time it takes Aldo to find a fireman’s axe.

    As for Garfield, I think people are misunderestimating the impact that a steady Liz will have on the strip. Don’t you see? All the little Garfield foibles that Jon gave up commenting on years ago . . . Liz doesn’t know about yet!!!

    Just imagine how she’ll react when she meets Garfield’s buddies, the mice! Or when finds a squished spider on the newspaper she’s reading! Or when Jon explains why he buys a pallet of frozen lasagna every month.

    She is a vet, after all. Chances are she’ll insist that Garfield go on . . . a diet!!!

    Imagine! The hilarity!

    *faints*

  18. Cornwhacker
    July 28th, 2006 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

    Was Anthony ever likable? I’m honestly curious, because I wasn’t following FBoFW back when he & Liz were dating, and after a year or so of regularly reading the strip, I still can’t see his appeal (and judging from the comments here, I’m not alone). Are there actually readers out there who want to see them back together? If so, what was it about Anthony that won their hearts?

    If he’s as unpopular a character as he seems, Johnston surely has taken that sentiment into account, and is using it to toy with everyone’s emotions. Oh, please, dear god of Canada, let this storyline be worth the torment!

  19. Hippocrass
    July 29th, 2006 at 12:00 am [Reply]

    # 18

    No, I really don’t think under normal circumstances they would be together, however, Lynn Johnston is ending the strip soon and is desperate to tie up the lives of the characters she spent the better part of her productive career living vicariously through. I mean really desperate. And apparently this is the last loose end to tie up before she calls it quits.

    Then the paper can free up the space taken up by FBOFW and fill it with reruns of FBOFW.

  20. Herold
    July 29th, 2006 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    # 19

    That’s probably the most depressing thing I’ve ever heard. And yet… it rings so true. I may need to lie down.

  21. Marion Delgado
    July 29th, 2006 at 12:19 am [Reply]

    PIBGORN=BIG PORN:

    http://www.comics.com/comics/pibgorn/archive/pibgorn-20060728.html

  22. treedweller
    July 29th, 2006 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    Re: Marvin
    No, it’s still racist. The white woman is detecting the foul odor of the foreign baby’s astral projection.

    The bigger question is, when did the woman develop the Transformers-style ability to convert her hand into a monkey wrench, and why is she using it on the baby’s leg?

  23. Other_Sally
    July 29th, 2006 at 1:25 am [Reply]

    13. Hippocras: Oh my god, that would be the most brilliant thing ever.

    It would only make sense that those two comics exist in the same universe. After all, Mary Worth is the only other character as meddlesome and holier-than-thou and nosy and prudish as Elly. She’s also been dating a doctor now for nearly a decade without agreeing to take it to the level of an actual relationship or give him sex–no wonder she reminds “Aldo” of his “dead wife”/Liz. She’s also just as schoolmarmy and prone to ugly outfits.

  24. Marion Delgado
    July 29th, 2006 at 1:31 am [Reply]

    Okay, I think I have the finale:

    Therese: Anthony, you’ve GOT TO BURY LIZ! I can’t take the SMELL ANYMORE! You know I’d do it if I STILL HAD MY LEGS.

  25. rich
    July 29th, 2006 at 1:53 am [Reply]

    Barfield’s stunning plot development is essentially just a movie tie-in. The somewhat peripheral character of Liz the veterinarian has become more prominent, thanks to Jennifer Love Hewitt’s People’s Choice-worthy portrayal of her in the two Barfield films. I think the strip is just trying to catch up with the movie and keep it all cross-promotional.

  26. winterbear
    July 29th, 2006 at 2:02 am [Reply]

    you know I just figured that John (the dude in Garfiled) just hired a hooker for his date. Its the only way I could ever see a woman kissing him….

    In the mean time…. I would love it if FBOFW were to end with a 6 feet under style montage… and Liz ends up dying barren and alone 50 years from now…

    I am however holding out for a “unbearable lightness of being” sex in a hat scene. Margo is just too catty not to wear that hat while in the sack.

  27. rich
    July 29th, 2006 at 2:22 am [Reply]

    I’m holding out hope that Lynn is on our side, and that Liz will (in excruciatingly slow fashion) brush aside Blandthony’s advances.

    Note how she illustrates Anthony’s pathetically transparent bid for reassurance in panel 2. Note his look of calculating desperation in the final panel, and Liz’s reaction, a post-traumatic silent scream. Elizabeth looks, thinks and acts as if she’s been positively dreading this encounter, though that would raise the question, why did she leave Mtigwacki if she wasn’t following the scent of this pornstached horndog?

    18: Was Anthony ever likable? I suppose he was likable enough when he was hanging out with Lizzie back in grade school — just an average awkward, nerdy, frecklefaced kid (no glasses or moustache in those days).

    Now that I think of it, most of their childhood friends were nerds — evidence of Patterson saintliness seems to be that they generally pal around with outsiders and common folk, rather than the in-crowd (April, the difficult one, can be an exception). It was mainly when Lynn “grew up” her characters that they became overearnest and unbearable.

  28. Scumbaggioni
    July 29th, 2006 at 2:22 am [Reply]

    Somebody was asking where Pluggers come from? (NOTE: This is also a plug for another favorite of mine. It’s a guilty pleasure–a little more saccharine than many here would like…in spite of the fact that it deals with sentient beings devouring each other. Click at your own risk of diabetes.)

  29. Beasley
    July 29th, 2006 at 2:28 am [Reply]

    I’ll have to admit that if Jon scores with the vixen-veterinarian….we’ll all have to accept ’suspension of reality’. She IS hot, what withthe ass-curvature and BJ lips and whatall.

    Wait…is this a G-Rated forum?!

    /Oops! ;)

  30. rich
    July 29th, 2006 at 2:44 am [Reply]

    Here’s a glimpse of Anthony from ten years ago (he was wearing glasses by that point).

    And here’s another oldie, from 1995. Okay, this one has nothing to do with Anthony, but I couldn’t resist… Painful on so many levels.

  31. Opus
    July 29th, 2006 at 6:59 am [Reply]

    Until I found this website, I hadn’t seen FBOW in years, but not much was surprising – except Anthony who looks about 80 years old! I’m sure you all have discussed this at length, but geez — how sad.

  32. messy
    July 29th, 2006 at 7:11 am [Reply]

    21: It’s nice to know someone else noticed that. I wonder if the strip will ever go back to normal or he’s going to do the entire play.

  33. Justafoob
    July 29th, 2006 at 7:46 am [Reply]

    Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ. Will Elly ever butt out of Liz’s life? Does she try to hook her up with every breathing male that walks by? Is her pocket book stuffed with 8X10 glossies that she hands out like popcorn so that Liz will someday find a breeding partner?

    Time for Liz to cut the apron strings, and fast.

  34. art
    July 29th, 2006 at 8:17 am [Reply]

    Anthony is on neurotic stalker level 5: “HI LIZ I NEED TO GO WITH YOU IN THIS CAR BECAUSE MY WIFE LEFT ME BUT WE ARE COOL ABOUT EVERYTHING AND I AM A GOOD FATHER FOR OUR CHILD AND I WANT TO BE WITH YOU NOW AGAIN LIKE IT USED TO BE!!!!…

    What is it about Liz, has she never wondered why this guy cant get over this “trauma” of her leaving him, and then getting some substitute slavedriver who humiliates him in the end and leaves him with a token to remind him – i.e. a daughter, not a son.

    Even her mother, despite her apparent lobotomy, would normally know this guy is off-his-rocker and put a restraining order on him. Instead she asks in todays strip, did he give some advice on “LIFE”…hahaha, sure… he’s a good one, he NEVER LEFT TOWN. LIZ DID.

    Unfortunately, its been set up:
    Liz’s current beau is going to end up with the girl he met who was helping Liz pack to leave (how clear), the new teacher, who he knew anyway long ago. Like with Like, no one should be crossing borders and should stay where they belong as nature intended.
    And Liz is going to learn to “never leave home” and do exactly the same boring safe wedding that the parents did, I am sure Anthony and Pa are going to set up trains together.
    Its up to the youngest child, who will go the way of her real mentor, the one who lived some life – Grandpa – who will pass away in this strip. She will join the armed forces to get OUT OF THERE, (but we will never see what happens till the obligatory ten years later strip) where she will continue Grandpa’s angle, the stories of war, the meetings with fellow soldiers at the VA, and oh yeah, she will have found some REASON to play music, rather than her teen pleasure.

    There, I gave it away.

  35. CBrachyrhynchos
    July 29th, 2006 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    13 — would that mean that MW is set 15 years in the future, or that FOOB is set 15 years in the past?

    Either way, it will feel like 15 years have passed by the time either plotline is resolved.

  36. Snapdragon
    July 29th, 2006 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    I think Saturday’s strip removes any hope that Lynn will have Liz do the right thing, and get a job up in the town where Paul’s a mountie, and convince Warren to be her personal pilot to visit Foobistan at whim.

  37. The Paradox
    July 29th, 2006 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    Anthony looks like a muppet. And about this God of Canada…How does one worship Him? Are there legions of missionaries that I can call for more information?

    Yes, Liz the vet does have an alluring ass-curve but it still doesn’t match the callipygian magnificence of Lizardbreath Fooberson’s can…

  38. Len
    July 29th, 2006 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    Not spelled correctly! Little Ming-Ming had an “out of POTTY experience”!

    What’s with the Tiki-mask in Marvin’s Auntie’s livingroom? Is she into Polynesian religious practices?

    Anthony has these peculiar spots on his cheeks. Freckles? Zits? Or signs of a STD?

  39. Da Scrodfather
    July 29th, 2006 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    Hey, I’ve had poops so good it felt like I left my body. But that Tiki mask is obviously just the caucasians’ attempt to make lil Ming-Ming “fit in”. Cracker swine!

  40. LittleGuy
    July 29th, 2006 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    8: Next week we’ll find out that the Garfeild storyline was all just a dream.

    Worse. It’s the wierdest crossover in the history of comics.

    It’s Anthony’s daydream about Liz.

    Lynn is represented by Garfield.

  41. NotThatGuy
    July 29th, 2006 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    #6, crazy cat ladies don’t put Garfield all over their fridge, because anyone with a cat knows Garfield is a short, creepy guy in a cat suit. Crazy cat ladies put Mutts and Pickles up on their fridge.

    And as for Liz, despite the rising hope in the hearts of so many, the FWOFW website has changed Liz’ bio, adding, “…Now that Liz is moving home from Mtigwaki, she hopes that the love she shares with Paul will be strong enough to bridge the distance between them, at least until Paul can get a transfer to her area.”

    Given that one of her aspirations is “to marry a guy like dad”, the minute Lynn introduced the phoney Liz-needs-to-buy-a-car plot twist ["twist"? the plot is flat as the plains of Alberta or Saskatchewan or wherever-the-hell Michael's book-like object is being set], the shark was jumped, the curtain rung down, and now all that’s left is to watch the custodian mop up the spilled root bear and Cinnabon crumbs.

  42. Old Fogeyette
    July 29th, 2006 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    I never liked Anthony–thought he was boring and ugly even as a kid. Still think that. Lizard is making a horrendous mistake, as so many of you have pointed out. But hey, it IS Lynn’s strip, and she can do whatever she wants with it.

  43. Miserly
    July 29th, 2006 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    I hope everone has read yesterday’s Foxtrot. Best FOOB parody I’ve seen in a long time!

  44. Junior Tracy
    July 29th, 2006 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    These “Garfield” developments are profoundly disturbing. The strip is betraying loony, birkenstok-wearing cat ladies everywhere.

  45. Hysterical Woman
    July 29th, 2006 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    I think the Tiki Mask is to show how multicultural Aunt Ming-Ming’s Mom is. She collects art objects and babies from around the world! I bet she also listens to “world” music.

  46. chromium
    July 29th, 2006 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    #8- When I first glanced at today’s Garfield (7/29), I thought it WAS a dream. In fact, looking at it more closely, today’s strip is sort of spooky. It almost looks like Jon is no longer able to distinguish his dreams from reality.

  47. Carrots
    July 29th, 2006 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    Y’know, I was kinda hoping that that “and they lived happily ever after” would be the end of the Garfield strips.

  48. Grinderman
    July 29th, 2006 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    Does anybody here remember way back when when Jon Arbuckle had a “roommate” who even had a trim little moustache? Odie was actually the “roommate’s” pet. Whatever happened to the “roommate?” Jon’s making a valiant effort to suppress his true longings, but the romance with the vet lady is doomed.

  49. Herold
    July 29th, 2006 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    #48

    Ah, yes. Lyman. Poor Lyman. Jim Davis, in one of his lighter moments, suggested that Lyman is buried under the floorboards of Jon’s house.

    Man, Garfield’s a disturbed comic.

  50. Prehumous
    July 29th, 2006 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    So…uh…

    Jon killed Lyman because he kept rejecting his romantic advances and buried him under the floorboards of his house?

    Please tell me that it’s not true. It can’t be true. In fact, I don’t think that it’s true at all.

  51. Edda
    July 29th, 2006 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    Jon and Liz the vet actually swapped spit once before, years and years and YEARS ago (I had the Garfield books when I was a kid). As I recall, “Garfield” used to be more cynical and a lot funnier…Garfield’s comment in the final panel of that one was, I believe, “Human love…it’s so glandular.”

    Anyway, I’m not sure we can assume that this latest smooch actually means The End, Happily Ever After or anything at all.

  52. MarrG
    July 29th, 2006 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    In TV sitcoms, the sudden introduction of new characters and new settings means they are planning a spinoff. Remember when the Brady Bunch was invaded by a trio of boys (each a different race) who were adopted by previously unknown best friends of the Brady parents?

    It would be odd to spin off a main character, though. I like the movie theory better.

  53. J.P. Patches
    July 29th, 2006 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    The woman in Marvin has a surprised look on her face — this is, what, her third baby, and she doesn’t know that babies poop in their diapers occasionally?

  54. Mel
    July 29th, 2006 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    I was also relieved that Liz seems uninterested in rekindling things with Anthony – stay with Paul the hunky Indian cop, Liz, please!!
    An aside is that Anthony’s mustache is reason enough for her not to get together with him again. It reminds me of the huge bushy mustaches Cuban communist officials all seem to have (something I noticed on trips to Cuba) – not that I’m implying that Anthony is a communist, Cuban or otherwise. Just boring and in need of a makeover a la Queer Eye, or SOMETHING.

  55. Jnickola
    July 29th, 2006 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    #21: What in God’s holy hell is that?!

    As for Marvin, it’s still being racist. What with introducing this inscrutable Asian character.

    Haven’t seen Corporal Yo in a while…

  56. Dingo
    July 29th, 2006 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    Ripping off both “The Simpsons” and “Ziggy”:

    Oh, Margo, will you ever learn? Lunch with a “Hat Man” never leads to good.

  57. Dingo
    July 29th, 2006 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

    So, I have to ask, is anyone else hoping for the return of Howard Erk in FBoFW? Lizardbreast and Grandpanthony are in the car. The last time they were in this position, Grandpanthony howled out like a walrus ejaculating and told Lizardbreast how horrible his life was. And she left. Left him like day-old kielbasa. Got herself some o’ that true patriot love that roadside girls in northern Canada find in mounting a Mountie. This is the man who saved her from the wretched grip of Howard Erk. Now, she needs a savin’ from him and the great sarcastic dark God of Canada is doing nothing but sitting back in his boxers with a stogie in his mouth taking it all in.
    My bet is that Grandpanthony tries to go roadside with her, she tries to fend him off, and Howard Erk opens the passenger side door and beats Grandpanthony to death with a day-old kielbasa. Following in the footsteps of Marvin, Lizardbreast adopts the spawn of Grandpanthony and gives ol’ Miss Patterson the chance for a spinoff.

  58. Herold
    July 29th, 2006 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    #50

    The murder of Lyman was just conjecture on Jim Davis’ part. The character just vanished from the strip totally, and in an anniversary collection Davis pondered possible fates for him. One of the other ones, if memory serves me right, is that he moved three strips over and had a brief fling with Cathy.

    Yes, I used to be a huge Garfield fan. Don’t look at me like that.

  59. roydrink
    July 29th, 2006 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    The 1st apperance of Hyman –
    http://www.garfield.com/comics/comics_archives_strip.html?1978-ga780807

    …Anthony, Hyman, Aldo…

    Comic Strip Rule #47 – when you introduce a loser charactor in your comic strip, give him a mustache.

  60. Scumbaggioni
    July 29th, 2006 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

    Yes, but Lyman’s mustache was fake. He continued to live a double life until he got the last of a series of operations, at which point “he” could stop living his “man Ly” and start living the dream full-time–as a lady veterinarian named Liz.

    …Happy birthday, indeed, Jon. Happy birthday, indeed.

    And now you know…the REST of the story. Good day!

  61. Scumbaggioni
    July 29th, 2006 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

    Re #59’s linked strip: it tickles me to know that today, this would lead to outraged controversy and death threats after some exceptionally dumb child asked Mommy about this scrotum-faced cat named Ding Dong.

    (God, look at Jon in panel two. Don’t you have to be, like, ninety, before you can legally pull your pants up that high? And Jon would have to duck to get through that door! The hell?)

  62. Aldo
    July 29th, 2006 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

    ” . . . at least until Paul can get a transfer to her area.”

    I’d like to get a transfer to her area, if you know what I mean.

    Oh, Yeah!

  63. ben
    July 30th, 2006 at 2:29 am [Reply]

    I didn’t mean “gay” as in “homosexual”, I meant “gay” as in “lame”.

    That old Garfield was both. And I remember it.

  64. teko
    July 30th, 2006 at 7:19 am [Reply]

    #19:

    She’s ending the strip soon? No more FOOB? Let me guess, it ends with Grampa dying and Lizardbreath’s wedding to (shudder) Anthony. Oh, and Michael and his family move into their parents’ house (like they’ve talked about a dozen times), his dad retires, the end. It comes full circle and the parents have become the grandparents.

    That’s very depressing.

    Per Garfield: Liz and Jon have been an item for what, 20 years now? A kiss and the implication of some hanky-panky in the future give Jon a “life”? That’s also a bit depressing.

  65. flodnak
    July 30th, 2006 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    Folks, if you want to know what really happened to Lyman, go to the Garfield website and play one of the Scary Scavenger Hunt games. He’s in the basement of the first and the kitchen of the second… and it ain’t pretty.

    Poor Lyman.

  66. Mazement
    July 30th, 2006 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    The FBOFW/Mary Worth crossover sounds promising, but I’m thinking the upcoming PBS/Mary Worth crossover will be a lot better:

    http://www.comics.com/comics/pearls/archive/pearls-20060727.html

  67. Chris Brown
    July 30th, 2006 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    Apologies to non-Brits, but in Panel 4 Anthony looks as if he’s about to say “Nice to see you, to see you… Nice”.

  68. Pookster B
    July 30th, 2006 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    Re #18: I know this has already been addressed, but as a similarly-aged Elizabeth with somewhat similar looks (minus the big ass and old-lady clothes), I always identified with Lizardbreath as a kid. I never thought Anthony was interesting, good-looking or in any way worthy of Liz. I cheered when she dumped him in college, and I guess it’s a good thing that Lynn is cancelling the comic soon b/c if Lizardbreath gets together with Grampthony I am never reading it again!

  69. Daniel
    July 30th, 2006 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    You know, that Garfield cartoon would make a great ending to the series. Do you think it’s the end of the series?

    I just checked the website, and I see that it’s not.

    Oh well…

  70. Scumbaggioni
    July 30th, 2006 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    #69: Oh well, there’s always plan B. I’ll get the woodchipper, you get the shovel.

  71. punk
    July 30th, 2006 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    #51: I remember the Garfield strip where Jon and Liz kiss quite happily after a date from the old collections, too. Couldn’t find it in the online archives, but ran across yet another kiss. Not mutual, no follow-up — but there indeed appeared to be a time when it didn’t take two weeks, Dickensian coincidence, and tiny cat-sized waiter suits for Jon to finally wheeze his way to first base with a woman who barely tolerates his presence. Maybe unrequited love in a comic strip works best when neither party actually cares what the other one thinks of them.

    Ooh, and here’s one more “that never happens in Garfield anymore”: Odie thinking in words!

  72. rich
    July 31st, 2006 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    71: Gee, it’s too bad that there was no follow-up to that “kiss” (which nowadays most would call sexual assault)…no mace, knee to the groin, arrest, restraining order, registration as a sexual offender?

    Oh, ya gotta love the 70s…

  73. Curtis Interruptus
    August 1st, 2006 at 12:44 am [Reply]

    Lizard Breasts needing a car…. Going car shopping at Gordo’s…. Meeting Wimpthony at the dealership…. I think we all saw this coming a mile away. If Lynn is good at anything, it’s unfolding predictable plots. That, and lame stereotypes. Like, why is there exactly ONE Jewish person in the strip (the landlady), and she’s like a female Jackie Mason? (“Oy gevalt! You should eat something! Stop already with the kvetching!”)

    How will Fert Better or Wurst end? I think Lizard, while surfing the net (ticka ticka tacka clacka ticka tocka….), will discover this huge body of land sitting DIRECTLY under Canada, and will learn that it’s called the United States of America. She will get this bug eyed “DWOING!!” surprised look that all of the Foobsters get in the punchline panel, and suddenly realize that she doesn’t have to wander around Mtigiddyapahoompappamaumau and Manitoba and Toronto and godknowswhere in Canada, and can move down to Virginia, or someplace, where it’s not still snowing in July, and nobody talks about “klicks to the litre” or “cheques” and people don’t go to University, and nobody’s “in hospital” and hardly anybody refers to all motor vehicles as “she” … and so on… And she’ll move the whole blinkin’ family down there with her.

    Final panel: “CANADA??? What the hell were we THINKING???”

  74. GodIsMyCodependent
    August 1st, 2006 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    Admit it, Mudge: The July 16th Sunday Garfield (http://www.garfield.com/comics/comics_archives_strip.html?2006-ga060716) is not only funny, but the mix of visual and verbal elements in the punchline is exactly what comics are made for!

  75. Dan Perducci
    August 1st, 2006 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

    GARFIELD HAS JUMPED THE SHARK?! NO!!!!!

  76. DocForbin
    August 19th, 2006 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    I fearlessly predict that after Elizabeth gets the news that Paul won’t be transferring down to Toronto, she’ll tell Anthony off and tell him to stop living in the past and move on over her. . .but not before she gets into a catfight with Therese, who blames Elizabeth as the “other woman” that led to the divorce. The only thing that needs to be asked is: Will it be mud, Jell-O or cooking oil? :-D

    After that, Elly and John will give Elizabeth a big speech about the true meaning of love and how true love waits for the right person. Elizabeth will then decide to return to the Indian village, convinced that she doesn’t need a man in her life right now.

  77. Sarah
    August 14th, 2007 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    Oh… WOW, Josh. Your Eric Mills monologue is quite possibly the most awesome thing I have ever read. Thank you. How did I miss that?!

  78. Formal Dresses
    August 5th, 2008 at 4:49 am [Reply]

    Really these dresses are lovely and beautiful.
    I think these dresses are very hot. Thanks a lot
    :lol:

  79. rapid turtle
    September 11th, 2008 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    so even though it’s two years later, and after even the spam posts so no one will read it, I feel the aching need to say:

    #3, Fred P: the tiki mask thing is stage right. That is to say, on the right side from the point of view of the characters. And yes, I know, that’s far more concern than anyone should place on Marvin. I don’t think anyone has said this, but at this point it’s all kind of moot anyway

  80. person
    February 2nd, 2010 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    cool but not funny

  81. Victoria Spears
    May 30th, 2010 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    Really awesome post. Honest..

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