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Kat and Kitty’s firing squad of humiliation!

Apartment 3-G, 7/12/10

Our terribly dressed makeover artists can insult our girls all month, as far as I’m concerned, but I think their barbs might be missing their mark to a certain extent. Sure, Margo looks like an old-fashioned schoolmarm — the sort of old-fashioned schoolmarm with sex appeal smoldering just beneath the surface, not least because she’s teaching in an old-fashioned schoolhouse, where corporal punishment is still permitted. Lu Ann may be a blonde, but she has far less depth and intelligence than the average Barbie doll. And, of course, nothing about Tommie could possibly be described as a “hot mess,” as that phrase is generally reserved for spectacular failures in aesthetics and personal habits, not sad, desperate attempts to fade into the background so that nobody can see you. “Hot mess” will presumably be what all three of these girls will look like once Kat and Kitty are done with them.

Dick Tracy, 7/12/10

Man, is Dick Tracy actively trying to get kicked out of the paper now? Apparently showing mangled corpses at an oblique angle wasn’t enough, so now we’re being treated to a woman more or less cut in half by a falling airplane, her face frozen in the look of terror that came over her when she realized her death was imminent, her hands raised up in a feeble attempt to stave off the inevitable. Delightful!

Gil Thorp, 7/12/10

With the Mudlark spring teams finally, in the second week of July, eliminated from contention, at last we can launch into Milford Summertime Wackiness™. This year’s zany summer story looks like it will revolve around the Thorps’ divorce. “Thanks, but what are you still doing here? You know what the judge said, and my lover Carlos will kick your ass if he catches you. I’m sorry you don’t have any containers at your sad apartment; just take the pitcher and get out.”

This entry was posted on Monday, July 12, 2010 at 04:14 pm and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Dick Tracy, Gil Thorp. |

165 responses to “Kat and Kitty’s firing squad of humiliation!”

Pozzo
July 12th, 2010 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

“Sunshine, Lemonade, and Rejection” — my new CD, now available for download to your IPod.
rusty chisel
July 12th, 2010 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

A3G – A far more interesting story line would be of when Mama Kat decides to harvest the organs from her younger clone Kitty. Margo could help no doubt.
Trilobite
July 12th, 2010 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

Psst! Anja Nu! I know you’re dead and all, but we’re about to cut to a closeup of your face…could you flop your lifeless hand up next to your face for us? You know, the one that’s obviously sticking out from under the plane in the previous panel? Thanks, doll. We’ll send you an 8×10 for your portfolio!
Dan
July 12th, 2010 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

You gotta love Margo’s “I beg your pardon” eyebrow raise. It’s like what the elderly kung-fu villain does just before calmly and remorselessly decapitating an underling.
Écureuil Écumant
July 12th, 2010 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

A3G: Margo, old-fashioned schoolmarm, is just fixin’ to grab her Board of Education.
Victor Von
July 12th, 2010 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

I kind of love this Dick Tracy. “I’m a detective, and the title character, but even I have to admit it. I don’t even know what’s going on.”

Plus, he seems so happy that the guy who tried to shoot him full of murder holes is alive! Perhaps, underneath that gruff, chiseled exterior, Dick Tracy is just lonely?
Jose
July 12th, 2010 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

I think my expectations are way too high for the results of the makeover. While, I can totally picture them ending up looking like Poison on the cover of “Look What The Cat Dragged In,” I wouldn’t be surprised to see them looking like Hanson on the cover of “Middle of Nowhere.”
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 12th, 2010 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

Gil Thorp: Gil brings a Turbo Shandy to his favorite gal (Mimi or Cassie… I can’t tell which one it’s supposed to be!)

Archie: The Marty Feldmanesque dog in the foreground is my favorite!

Gasoline Alley: A bewigged Christopher Plummer plays the part of Gertie in “The Vomitorium of Doctor Poisonpisus!”

PUT THEM ALL TOGETHER AND YOU HAVE G-A-G!!!
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 12th, 2010 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

Sly was gonna catch the Shrew, but he got high.
maybe nom some kitsuni too, but he got high.
Count Weirdly’s making sense,
and Sly knows why (why)
cuz Sly is high, Sly is high, Sly is high.
Krazy Kat
July 12th, 2010 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

If Mama and Kitty keep it up with these insults, A3G is going to rival Dick Tracy for the “most gruesome depiction of a mangled corpse in a family feature” award. Margo is currently focusing her energy on unhinging her jaw, so that she can bite Mama’s head off in one chomp. I don’t know for sure, but I wouldn’t surprised if she could harness her smoldering contempt and shoot laser beams from her eyes, too. This week is going to be awesome!
UncleJeff
July 12th, 2010 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

DT: But what about the poor schnook who was lying bleeding on the stage in Act 1 of this show? Is he lying under the Schtooka as well?

GT: Ah, finally out of school for vacation! What goes down better on a hot summer afternoon than ice-cold lemonade and a “what the hell are you still doing here?” from the Missus? (It sure ain’t Gil!)
UnclGhost
July 12th, 2010 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

Did Dick Tracy somehow find time to apply bandages (and the obligatory cartoon x-shaped adhesive bandages) to his head? Then somehow scuff them up afterward?
Bitter Scribe
July 12th, 2010 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

Wait a minute. Is panel two of DT what the woman’s face would look like if there weren’t an airplane on top of it? Or did they drag her out from under the fuselage between panels one and two? Or perhaps hoist the plane off her? Even for DT, this is confusing.

Also, the scratch marks, or whatever those are supposed to be, near Blank’s right hand in panel three look suspiciously like the outline of a gun. Another shooting coming up?
Baka Gaijin
July 12th, 2010 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

Josh, thank you thank you thank you. This post came at the right time. KarMann was scaring me with freaky clowns on motorcycles yesterthread.

“Flaming hot mess.” Sarge on Beetle?
Anonymous
July 12th, 2010 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

MW: … “on my hidden camera Web site, CharterSluts.com.”

Sly: If you cut an odd number of equally sized slices, two people can have the same amount of pizza, leaving one left over. This is why I hated “logic” puzzles when I was a kid–because it was less about logic and more about guessing at the right assumption (i.e., pizzas always have an even number of slices) and following the “logic” to the preordained conclusion. Of course, shrews lack the fine motor skills and keen eyesight needed to cut seven or nine equally sized slices, not to mention that they are solitary creatures who only pair up, briefly, to mate, but if our vulpine hero is a cape-wearing biped, it’s only fair to assume that these shrews are not only socialable, but adept at geometry.

Ziggy: Apparently the ihhabitants of this universe know that they exist only on two-dimensional newsprint and that mouthing off to their god, the Editor, could result in immediate cancellation. No wonder Zig’s so depressed all the time.
Dan
July 12th, 2010 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

“She’s a wannabe actress, Tracy”

Whew! Glad that’s cleared up.

I know Anja’s legs are supposed to be laying supine in that first panel. But all I see is a pair of standing up legs tap dancing.
Snapdragon
July 12th, 2010 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

I’m not seeing a big variance between Tommie’s ‘hot mess’ outfit or hair and Mama Kat’s.
zamros
July 12th, 2010 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

I’m glad to see that the Hootin’ Holler Sexual Deviancy Theory is still in full swing as we enter Monday, when Snuffy Smith invites the Parson over to watch some pornography.
Dude...wait...what?
July 12th, 2010 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

LOL Spiderman’s hero antics are so dull and boring the News stations have to sell ad space to keep people interested. The greatest thing about the 2nd panel is that Iron Man is just floating there while our hero is falling. I think Spidey had a Wil E. Coyote moment and realized his web “slings” weren’t actually sticking to anything, and so with a look of horror, waved goodbye before plummeting thousands of feet to the ground below.
Anonymous
July 12th, 2010 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

Brozman’s inability to draw the human face as a part of curved plane finally pays off. Heavy objects dropped from a great height should precede every close-up in Dick Tracy.
Dragon of Life
July 12th, 2010 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

A3G is about two panels away from its modern take on the death of Orpheus, with stress on the “rending to pieces” part.
Mibbitmaker
July 12th, 2010 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

9CL: Better to waste a whole roll of film than EVERYBODY’S TIME!

BBlues: Men & remotes! Men & their filth! O, unrelenting housework! ~ Three “amirite”s in one, single strip. Is that a record?

Curtis: Well, Michelle, you don’t have to accept him as a “friend”, y’know! Now, you’ll have to excuse me, I suddenly need to out-loser Garfield at some internet thingy…

DT: Yecch! That crushed-dead lady’s face is all twisted, bumpy, hideous and ugly! It’s gruesome! In other words, just like before!
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 12th, 2010 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

om nom nom NOM!

(that last one isn’t like the others, it’s a bit more Jamus than the rest. ;-) )
Hogan
July 12th, 2010 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

A3G: In what universe is Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS considered an “old-fashioned schoolmarm”? Because I want to go to there.
Farley's Revenge
July 12th, 2010 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

9CL: A horrifying thought occurred to me last night: How long will the last day of Kiesl and Eva/Evie/Everest last? Given that Granny’s reminiscing is supposedly occurring over the space of a day or two, yet has lasted for what feels like an epoch, it is entirely possible that the “Casablanca-A sequel as imagined by some shlub cartoonist who writes AND believes his own press” could last until the end of the year. Or our lifetimes, because this strip is rapidly sucking the life out of the universe.

By the time Granny actually sees Bill, he won’t remember her at all. Not because of TBI but because senile dementia will have begun…in both of them.
Helen Clark
July 12th, 2010 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

Let me get this straight. This “Mary Worth” person ((hic)) just sits around and thinks about other people getting lucky? Take it from Helen, Mary: You’ve got some life in you yet! You have a beau, don’t you? Well, goddammit, get out there and do something! Okay, so he’s a little ((hic)) passive for my taste, but let’s face it, there’s something to be said for a man who can take direction.

And if your doctor friend is unavailable or unwilling or, cripes, scared, I hear there’s a young buck over there in Charterstone who’s game for just about ((hic)) anything!
Sequitur
July 12th, 2010 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

@Dan (#17): Anju’s legs are tap dancing because the show must go on!
Steve S
July 12th, 2010 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

“No, sorry, I can’t count. We’ve got FIVE women stuck in a time warp!”
Just A Reader
July 12th, 2010 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

FW, 7/12 – Guys, I went to Amazon and clicked on their “Today’s Deals” link. Guess what the deal is for 7/12?

A TomTom XL.

(Cue Twilight Zone music)
Quisp for Dinner
July 12th, 2010 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

@Sequitur (#28): Thank you, thank you, s/he’ll be here all week!

@Anonymous (#16): This is me.
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 12th, 2010 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

Dick Tracy: A wannabe actress in a wannabe detective strip — who woulda thunk it? (By the way… how many bystanders did it take to lift several tons of wreckage off the former’s corpse? From where I’m sitting, the museum looks empty!)

BC: At least he didn’t try to bring Ponzi into his scheme!

Blondie/The Lockhorns: Interestingly enough, both maladies are known in the medical profession as “Monday Morning Fever”!
Business Pyjamas
July 12th, 2010 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

Nice Sharon Stone impression, Mrs. Coach Thorp. My reaction looked not unlike Anja Nu’s death mask there.
Farley's Revenge
July 12th, 2010 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

MW: One blind date, one wild dance on the beach where they were shat upon by irate seagulls, and Jenna’s pretty much planning where she and the doc will be buried after a full, long life together? Isn’t that a tad, oh, I don’t know, getting ahead of herself?

MT: Boy, you can almost hear the mental gears grinding as the various characters try to think through these obvious-to-everyone-with-two-functioning-brain-cell plot developments.

RMMD: Look at how close the mayor is standing to the employee and then look at their smiles when Rex wanders into the place he calls his “office”. I’m not sure what was going on there but I’m quite sure Rex is happy he wasn’t there to see any of it.
Nekrotzar
July 12th, 2010 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

“Blank! You survived” — and with these three words, readers around the world knew that the Dick Tracy strip had lost its edge, forever.
Margaret
July 12th, 2010 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

Actually, I think I see why Mama Kat’s criticism missed the mark: like all people, Mama Kat can only tell apart the three girls by their hair color, and is thus basing her fashion criticism solely on that. black hair=quiet, boring, repressed. blonde=barbie like. red=flaming hot, a mess. What other explanation could there possibly be for the use of the words flaming or hot in reference in Tommie?
Pop Goes the Weasel
July 12th, 2010 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

RMMD: today the role of Mayor will be played by Mr. Brian Cox!
littlestevie
July 12th, 2010 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

GT: Oh Gil, Gil, Gil, always the last to know. It looks like Mrs. Thorp has a backyard tire fire that needs puttin’ out. I think thats a job for Slim.
Business Pyjamas
July 12th, 2010 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

Based on our hosts it’s not looking good, but if this makeover results in fewer shirts buttoned all the way up to neck, I will be pleased as punch. However, if it means Margo stops dressing like Han Solo periodically, all the exposed clavicle in the world will not quell my rage.
cheech wizard
July 12th, 2010 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

A3G – Well, it’s sweeps month, so I guess goading Margo into tearing the beating hearts out of a couple of smug women and devouring them raw on live TV is a pretty sure bet to boost ratings. But it seems like a pretty short-term strategy.

DT – Wow, I haven’t seen a close-up like that since Signal 30 back in driver’s ed. Does Tracy work for the Ohio State Highway Patrol now?
Shawn S.
July 12th, 2010 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

A3G: Maybe Mama Kat and Kitty should look in the mirror before they insult old hairstyles. And then get new names, of course.

Luann: The past three weeks of Luann: Luann has no friends for her day off and whines, Luann sees Gunther change clothes and whines, and Luann babysits a whiner. Please let some cancer from Funkyverse seep over to this comic. Please.

GT: If Gil was a real man like the person he looks like, Gregory Peck, that woman would be cowering in fear right now. No one talks to Gil that way!
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
July 12th, 2010 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

9cl — Damn Kraut was a cheap bastard when it came to cameras.
Sans Sense
July 12th, 2010 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

From the look on Gil’s mug in the third panel it’s “Sunshine, Lemonade and… Vodka, lots and lots of Vodka.”
cheech wizard
July 12th, 2010 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

GT – That’s not Mimi – that’s the teenage baby sitter. And just look at Gil’s leering grin. You don’t suppose that Rubin submitted the wrong script, do you? Because I just rented a porno that had nothing but high school jocks sitting around talking.
Toby
July 12th, 2010 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

Why oh why, couldn’t it be a Circular Firing Squad?
Sans Sense
July 12th, 2010 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

DT: At least Dick realizes that, typically, to know him is to want to kill him.
Rembrandt36
July 12th, 2010 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

The worst part of 9CWL is that while we have all this “Last Day” bullshit to contend with, we still have the scenario of her seeing Bill, and then deciding NOT to go to Europe with Keisl. This is no joke when I say that this storyline will be LUCKY to have wrapped up by Christmas of this year.

Luann: You are such a total mess bitch, but you have the gall to act superior to others?

Funky Winkerbean: You know, I am aware that this comic – while it has some beautifully drawn imagery to it – is damned depressing. I understand that Batiuk is a survivor of cancer. I give him high props for beating it. The question is how do you go from being a really funny strip about high school kids to this dreck? I actually have enjoyed the fact that old Funky somehow ended back in time so that we could see young Funky in lighter times. With any hope old Funky will disappear, leaving us with the youngsters again and talking leaves on branches. Plus, how the FUCK do you look that old at 46-49? He looks like he is in his mid 60s.
Quisp for Dinner
July 12th, 2010 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

@Rembrandt36 (#47): “Plus, how the FUCK do you look that old at 46-49? He looks like he is in his mid 60s.” Meth. Lots and lots of it. Actually, moderate amounts of it.
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 12th, 2010 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

PBS: “Zebra. The Other Black & White Meat.” (Penguin is the first!)

Barney & Clyde: “Trans woman or male transvestite?”

Marvin/Mother Goose & Grimm: Two Sherlocks… and neither has a clue!
Larry Fine
July 12th, 2010 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

FC — Billy’s answer: “An only child.”
Quisp for Dinner
July 12th, 2010 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#48) re: PBS: With skunk coming in a distant third–except in Hoot’n Holler.
Calico
July 12th, 2010 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

What are Parson and Snuf watching? An episode of “I Dressed in the Dark”?
bats :[
July 12th, 2010 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

A3G: nasty-ass, really-no-better-than-the-rest-of-humanity hosts/judges are one of the many, many reasons I don’t watch reality shows / competition shows / most talk shows / crap of the Dr. Phil and Maury ilk.
I might be giving a pass on this A3G storyline until Josh mentions blood splashing off the camera lenses….
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 12th, 2010 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

@littlestevie (#37): Slim Chance? Or Slim Skinner from Gasoline Alley? Tire fire, alley fire — are you sure Brad DeGroot isn’t the best man for the job?
Violet
July 12th, 2010 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

Yeah, I think those characterizations are pretty far off. Based on panel two, I would’ve described Tommie, Margo and LuAnn as Nancy Drew Waxwork, Depressed Chairman Mao and Trying to Count to Three, respectively.
Ed Dravecky
July 12th, 2010 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

Gil Thorp is ready for “lemonade on the porch” but Mimi can’t believe he’s violating that restraining order she’s holding. 300 feet means 300 feet, Coach.
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 12th, 2010 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

@Quisp for Dinner (#50): Snuffy sez: “Polecats make good eatin’ as long as you wear one of Ma’s clothspins on yore nose!”
John C Fremont
July 12th, 2010 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

Damn! I just got the news about Harvey Pekar from the last thread. Crap, man! Good role models are hard enough to find as it is. Dammit! I am so depressed.

RIP, Harv. You are missed.
zerowolf
July 12th, 2010 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

BG&SS: Are they watching “I Dressed in the Dark” or “Elmer Gantry?”
littlestevie
July 12th, 2010 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#53): Slim Skinner Ha Ha Ha. Well on second thought, Slim Skinner does know his way around a dipstick and I really don’t think Brad’s fire hose is up to the task.
Barto
July 12th, 2010 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

Frankly I don’t think I’d accept any fashion advice from two broads with Andy Warhol hairdos…
zerowolf
July 12th, 2010 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

FW: Sitting on the park bench… Oh Funkylung…..
Quisp for Dinner
July 12th, 2010 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#56): “An’ don’cher gimme none o’that nonsense ’bout removin’ its sticksack. That thar’s the best purt!”
Ed Dravecky
July 12th, 2010 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

Dang it, I posted my Gil Thorp comment after seeing I’d been post-jumped but before reading Josh’s take. Sorry about that, Chief.

MT: Cherry and Sally both have normal-sized noggins in today’s strip but Mark Trail’s head is about two sizes too small for his khaki-clad torso. It’s not a sign of relative intelligence since I’m surprised any of these characters can dress themselves or use basic tools.

TM: Today’s Tank MacNamara is pleasantly and unexpectedly meta in a way that keeps it in the context of the strip. Kudos. (For examples of failure in this mode, see today’s Ziggy or Herb & Jamaal. Or, better yet, don’t.)

Love is…: …an obscure reference to the Twelve Colonies on Battlestar Galactica. Strangest Caprica product placement ever.
zerowolf
July 12th, 2010 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

A3G: Who is she kidding? The only one in that theatre that’s “flaming” is Blaze.
Emily K [Riff Chick]
July 12th, 2010 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

At what point do “Mama Kat” and “Kitty” (I assume that’s actually short for “Kitten”) have any right to criticize ANYbody’s fashion sense?! Look in the mirror, gals! The nicest thing that could be said about YOUR outfits is that your gender-concealing, nondescript buttons-up-to-the-neck garments make you the perfect blank slates..for a MAKEOVER. For ANY gender.
Alison
July 12th, 2010 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

Tracy is happy Blank survived because this means he can inflict more violence on Blank.

Anja Nu actually looks less ugly dead than she did when she was alive. Dying made her giant eyebrows shrink down to normal size and made her face less pointy. Neat trick Anja, too bad it can only be played once.
Quisp for Dinner
July 12th, 2010 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

DT: Did I miss something, but wasn’t the villain called “Nothing” at the start of this arc, and now it’s Blank? Or was Nothing the name of the character in the play, and he happened to be played by Blank?
troy macgregor
July 12th, 2010 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

In honor of The Comics Curmudgeon’s sixth anniversary, I drew a comic strip mocking political cartoons that feature children.
I’m a little nervous as this is the first time I featured any of my art on the Comics Curmudgeon comments section, but I figured you’re a cool bunch of people so what’s the harm?
Patrick
July 12th, 2010 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

So are Mama Kat and Kitty going to make over the three roommates in their image? That image being twin Patty Dukes in a 60s-era play about lesbian schoolteachers?
bourbon babe, unbuckled
July 12th, 2010 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#52): Although for once, you kinda have to give A3G props for verisimilitude here—right down to the not-so-attractive hosts denigrating the attractiveness of their subjects.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
July 12th, 2010 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

@Patrick (#69): Wait—is that what the Patty Duke Show was about? I guess I was just too young to pick up on it…..
Fashion Police
July 12th, 2010 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

We would suggest that the difference between Miss Thompson’s wardrobe and the ever-so-fashionable Mrs. Kat’s is that Tommie’s came from the bargain basement (and looks it). Mrs. Kat’s came from an overpriced designer boutique attempting to emulate the downscale look. Or, as the Bard of Minnesota once said (in a different context), “money doesn’t talk it swears.”

Further, the Kitty-Kat people have entirely misjudged Miss Magee. Her electric-blue double-breasted faux military coat-dress is all the more stunning for not being ripped from the pages of last month’s Vogue, and is, as such, the mark of a real trend-setter. Miss Magee’s style could perhaps use a little tweaking, but only to make her even more severely starched and buttoned up.

We heartily applaud Ms. Shuloch for attempting this. However, it remains to be seen whether the less-than-impressive Kitty-Kat people and Mr. Bolle have it in them.
Sequitur
July 12th, 2010 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

A3G: Oh, no! The girls are getting mad!
Kibo
July 12th, 2010 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

So if the gals of “Apartment 3-G” are in “a time warp”, does this mean they’re also going to tell their younger selves that they’re going to have prostate trouble? If so, the effect of using time travel to change their genders could cause shockwaves that would ripple through the genitals of all the other comic strips, reversing the geometry of everyone’s plumbing. Scientists know this as The Venus Butterfly Effect. The consequences will affect every character in every strip, except for Peppermint Patty, Zippy (already wearing a dress), and the Pluggers.
zerowolf
July 12th, 2010 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

@Fashion Police (#72): I thought Kat stole her wardrobe off an Amish clothes line….
DairyStateDad
July 12th, 2010 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

In fairness, it probably is time for Margo to update that hairdo.
zerowolf
July 12th, 2010 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

Curtis: Only in the anorexia driven entertainment industry is having to eat a whole pan of lasagna considered a bad thing.
Vince M
July 12th, 2010 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

9CL: Jane Russell is still alive, right? If so, kick her ass, Jane.
Chyron HR
July 12th, 2010 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

You think it’s implausible and/or hypocritical for Kitty and Mama ~~Cass~~ Kat to be criticizing anyone’s appearance? Well, remember that Joan Rivers used to make a living insulting actual attractive women, before she hit the big time by starring in today’s Dick Tracy.
Fashion Police
July 12th, 2010 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

We would say further to those of you who complain that the Misses Thompson and Magee and Mrs. Powers look like refugees from the Sixties: you’re wrong. The Sixties have nothing to do with this. If the ladies dressed like they did in the Sixties they might look a bit dated but no one would accuse them of looking tawdry, tired, or frumpy.

Sixties fashion was quite exciting and original. Like Sixties popular music, nearly everything we see today is derivative of it (well, except hip-hop – and we do not care to see Miss Magee dressing like Snoopy Dogg). One might recall that the Sixties saw the invention lf the miniskirt, and – even more important – women in trousers. The Sixties saw bold innovation in patterns and colors. The Sixties saw fashion embrace a wider specturm than ever before.

The ladies do not look like the Sixties. They look like they don’t care. They look like Mr. Wilbur Weston might if he were a thirty-something single woman in Manhattan.
H-Bob
July 12th, 2010 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

@Farley’s Revenge (#33): “Jenna’s pretty much planning where she and the doc will be buried after a full, long life” based on her “Quality, not quantity” approach to retirement planning !
Fashion Police
July 12th, 2010 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

@zerowolf (#75):
Dressing Amish is beyond Mrs. Kat’s capacity. Anyone can pay too much money for ugly clothes.
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 12th, 2010 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

@littlestevie (#59): Too bad Smokey Stover isn’t still around — a much better man than Brad DeGroot when it comes to putting out fires! (I don’t believe I’ve ever actually seen Brad put out a fire — literally or figuratively!)
Chyron HR
July 12th, 2010 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

Also, my stage name is going to be “Tommie, the Flaming Hot Mess”.
Pere Ubu
July 12th, 2010 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

A3G – is it just me, or does Tommie look the most pissed off? And would the colorists please decide what the hell Kitty is wearing and stick with it? (Of course, maybe she’s wearing one of those old Hypercolor T-shirts and the emanations from Margo have turned it dead black since yesterday…)
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 12th, 2010 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

@Sequitur (#73): and once again, the city is saved! (utter win, well played!)
bats :[
July 12th, 2010 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

@troy macgregor (#68): *snort* Nicely done — I’ve always wondered about these types of kids, when, at their age, I was far more interested in expanding my collection of troll dolls and Breyer horses.
The only politics I really remember is that my parents (and about 20 of my relatives who also lived in Arizona at the time) must’ve been the only people who voted for LBJ in 1964, when his opponent was Barry Goldwater.

@Sequitur (#73): I know very little about the Powerpuff (Powerpuff?) Girls (see? I told you!), but boy oh boy…I want to see this!

@DairyStateDad (#76): huh. Come to think of it, isn’t that kind of the distaff version of Wolverine’s pointy hair?

@Chyron HR (#79): Joan at least appears to be wearing classy attire and jewelry accessories, dressing for “a show.” OTOH Mama Kat and daughter seem to wear less jewelry than the Benedictine nuns who live down the street from us.

@Fashion Police (#80): minus the sandwiches and mustard dribblings…
Poteet
July 12th, 2010 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

Whoops! Carried away by some of the touching anniversary comments on the last thread, I forgot that it was a dead thread and necroposted several times. Oh well, sorry. I guess my brain was a flaming hot mess.
Matt
July 12th, 2010 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

I especially love that the girls seem to be focusing a joint lazer eye beam into Mama Kat. It makes me want to make a photoshop of them doing it like the powerpuff girls but I’m a bit too lazy. But I gotta say I love Mama Kat just for the fact that she called poor Tommie a “Flaming hot mess!” That was harsh of Kat, especially when in the panel she says it her face has taken a creepy yet cartoonish troll-y visage. I think from Margo is going to shove a stiletto heal straight through Mama Kat’s brain stem for that “old fashion school marm!” remark. How the heck can they makeover Lu Ann WITHOUT her looking like Barbie, I wonder?
CanuckDownSouth
July 12th, 2010 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

@troy macgregor (#68): Funny! (and IMO, this is a fine place to mention any comics-snarking art, not just mashups. I used to do a FOOB foe/fix-fic and announced it here during the Foobocalypse wedding)
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 12th, 2010 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

@Kibo (#74): So any male character who’s decked out in a dress would be immune to the Venus Butterfly Effect? Besides Zippy (already mentioned), I come up with Swee’Pea (from Popeye) and the Yellow Kid. I also think a compelling case could be made for the inclusion of Brenda Starr’s best bud — the androgynous Hank!
Poteet
July 12th, 2010 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

A3G — I find the names “Kitty” and “Mama Kat” intensely irritating in this context, so when Margo corpsifies the two of them, it will be fine with me. Actually, I can’t imagine a context in which this Kitty-Kat act wouldn’t be irritating.
tb4000
July 12th, 2010 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

9 Chickweed Lane would be so much more enjoyable if it wasn’t for those pesky words. Old Brooke’s art style, I confess, has a nice zing.
Bobbie Merrill
July 12th, 2010 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

@Helen Clark (#26): Helen! How are you, my dear? I’m so glad you pointed that out to that sanctimonious old broad. If she’s not interested in bumping radiators with that suave Dr. Corey, she can send him up here to the Upstate Home for the Snobbishly Bipolar. And tell him to bring his prescription pad — Ari hasn’t been to visit for a while.
Austria
July 12th, 2010 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

Arch: Ohhhh, AJGLU-3000. You try so hard to stay current, and yet those plaid pants of the ’80s just keep sneaking back into your strip…Look, even the bush monster is freaked out by this culture clash.

BB: Sarge walking right under Beetle? There is only one logical explanation: ~~FAIRY GODPARENTS~~ COLORING GNOMES!!

FW: Funky looks like a potato. A big potato with legs. What I want to know is where everyone went off to all of a sudden.

Luann: Look at it this way — she could be requesting iCarly, or Suite Life. With that in mind, Luann, you oughta let her watch the sponge prance around. Especially if it’s the chocolate episode, or the camping one. Those are gold.

MG&G: Again with the selective censorship!! I applaud MG&G right now, don’t get me wrong, but it seems strange that something like this could get past the censors while Pearls’ strip about not using the word “sucks” on the comics page can’t.

Jeremy’s Parents: The upturned mug on her head is a nice touch.
seismic-2
July 12th, 2010 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

I think Kat and Kitty deliberately “dress down”, to make their ~~victims~~ make-over subjects feel less intimidated. Also, they want the focus of attention to be the show’s contestants at the end of their make-over, so Kat and Kitty don’t want to distract from them by showing them up and looking even better than they do. That’s why the show’s premise was synopsized as “You Dressed in the Dark! (and so did we)”.
Dee
July 12th, 2010 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

A3G: I do like the contrast between Tommie and Luann and Margo. Tommie and Luann are angry, ready to defend themselves. Margo is in disbelief: “Really? They’re dragging me into this? I wasn’t planning on killing anyone today, but I suppose I’ll just have to…”
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 12th, 2010 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#92): What I find even more irritating is Mama Kat making fun of Tommie’s redheadedness. My sister happens to be a natural ginger — and the jokes about her hair color have been relentless! I made a crack earlier about Mama Kat being an insult comic in her “other” job, but perhaps I’m giving her way too much credit. Even Don Rickles knows when to stop (I read his autobiography and he actually sounds like a nice guy) — and this woman clearly doesn’t.
nescio
July 12th, 2010 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

B.C. That’s a triangle, dumbass.

FC: Billy’s eyes say “Not my stupid father like you.”

SlyFox: There’s actually a place near where I work that cuts the pies into 7 slices, at least the ones they sell by the slice. Shady’s friend is totally baked.

Ziggy: Tomorrow morning the bird will defecate upon itself!!!
seismic-2
July 12th, 2010 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

If Lu Ann is a Barbie doll, I suppose that means that Margo is G.I. Joe. Tommie, of course, is a lump of stale Play-Dough.
Ed Dravecky
July 12th, 2010 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

B.C.: “It’s a pyramid. You know, for kids.”
Helen Clark
July 12th, 2010 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

@Bobbie Merrill (#94): Maybe we can work something out; I’d certainly hate for you to go without your attitude adjusters. I hear that the good Dr. Corey will travel just about anywhere if you tell him there will be ((hic)) orphans.
commodorejohn
July 12th, 2010 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#91): Hank’s a dude? I always thought Hank was a magically-animated Punch puppet.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
July 12th, 2010 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

@Ed Dravecky (#101): Oh, nice Hudsucker Proxy reference! You don’t see too many of those, which is a shame.
numbskull72
July 12th, 2010 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

Only in the A3G universe can a mother and daughter pilgrim duo fresh off the Mayflower be considered fashion-forward enough to host their own fashion makeover reality show. If kat’s collars were any bigger and floppier, our three “fashion victims” could hide under them and avoid further embarassment.
MikeP
July 12th, 2010 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

For those keeping score at home, today’s Dick Tracy bad guys have four legs, five hands, and one face.
Fashion Police
July 12th, 2010 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

We were delighted with Mrs. Worth’s fetching yellow blouse on Sunday. A muted blue might have worked better with her skin-tone, but that’s only a quibble. We’d have to say that of late Mrs. Worth’s wardrobe shows signs of life from time to time. In fact, that lovely blouse made her appear much more youthful than her advertised age, even with her firmly-bunned white hair.

It makes us wonder if her meddle powers include shape-shifting witchery, not to mention the ability to quickly change clothes while in the midst of a telephone conversation. One so rarely sees women in their sixties lounging about in tailored sleeveless dresses. We would heartily recommend that, instead of toying with the hearts of the unsuspecting, her time would be best put to use if she would immeditately fly to New York City, dispose of the Kitty Kat people and meddle some style into Mrs. Lu Ann Powers and Miss Abigail Thompson. That’s just the sort of dress Mrs. Powers in particular ought to wear.
worthinator
July 12th, 2010 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

So if those are Anja Nu’s hands in panel 2, whose left hand is that sticking out from under the Stuka in panel 1?
Fashion Police
July 12th, 2010 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

@seismic-2 (#96):
One would like to be confident that one’s dictatorial fashion consultant has some idea what she’s talking about. On might doubt the Kitty-Kat people could give useful fashion advice to a Plugger.
Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
July 12th, 2010 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

It’s Fundamental

Rex sat with his morning cup of coffee, staring at the newspaper. Just staring, as always. June sat on the other side of the credenza, her pert pouty cleavage moving with her every breath as though rising for the national anthem only to realize again and again that it was only a ceremonial pitch.

She placed her hand on Rex’s and released a light cough. “Rex,” she said, “we need to talk.”

He moved the paper aside like an elderly dowager with a Chinese fan. June gazed into his eyes.

“I believe, Rex…” June said slowly and deliberately, “I believe it’s time we discussed literacy. In particular, your illiteracy.”

Rex gasped a three-cock yawn. She knew! All of his faking and she knew.

“June, how? Wha-? When?”

June placed her hand upon his cheek. Not his big, hairy asscheek like she used to do back when they first married and she would grab onto each buttock like a deflated volleyball and the championship rested on her blowing them up to league rules through Rex’s penis but the cheek on his face, his smoothly shaven face, unlike the men down at the bowery she yearned for so much.

“Rex, we can’t hide this any longer. When we married, I knew you weren’t very good at it and, maybe, from time to time, I faked it so that you didn’t know but last night in bed when you were reading to me, it wasn’t good. In fact, it was horrible.”

Rex’s shoulders fell. “How so?” he asked.

“Well, dear, do you remember my recitation of Molly Bloom? Now that’s literacy. Hearts racing, nostrils flairing, hands dancing. A real good booking in bed. Dear, as you read The Velveteen Rabbit last night, I yearned for the rabbit to die. Right then. Oh, how I wanted it to be over and quickly.”

“But, June, what about my Skin Horse?” he asked.

“Rex, your Skin Horse has seen better days. Your Skin Horse needs to be thoroughly scrubbed and set aside for awhile.”

The awkward silence filling the room called for someone to fart. Alas, neither of them drank Folger’s. Rex placed the paper on the credenza and looked into June’s eyes.

“June, if we’re being totally honest, I have to tell you… you see… I haven’t enjoyed being literate with you in quite some time. I’ve begun reading periodicals alone when you’re out. I read them all the time.”

June gasped as though a bee had flown into her pussy with icy cold maracas and a sombrero sized too large. “Periodicals? Oh, Rex. For how long?”

“It started just once or twice a month. Maybe you went out for crullers. I’d slip into the basement and take one out of a box I keep down there. First it was Newsweek. I didn’t see any harm. But then I needed more. My lust for the written word grew too strong. I’d sneak out of my office in the middle of the day looking for something, anything, to satisfy me. And then I found Mother Jones.”

She screamed and placed her hand to her forehead. The sobs would be a-comin’ and the floodgates were pushing open.

to be continued
Anonymous
July 12th, 2010 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#91):@commodorejohn (#103): Hank is most definitely not a dude, unless she went to Denmark or Johns Hopkins sometime after the 1960’s. I clearly remember her wearing a pleated skirt with the rest of her androgenous ensemble. The beret was a hoot, but I think the lace-up, comfortable shoes were meant to be the giveaway.
curlyfries
July 12th, 2010 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

@Anonymous (#111): That was me. Damn cookies.
Crankenstank
July 12th, 2010 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

The Flaming Hot Mess sounds like a great idea for a mixed drink. I wonder what it would include…?
Bizarro Stormy
July 12th, 2010 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

Margo’s glare of pain is so strong that it’s already disfigured Mama Kat’s nose in panel two.
Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
July 12th, 2010 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

Somewhere in there, there has to be some mint.
curlyfries
July 12th, 2010 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

@Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#110): That, as they used to say in Brooklyn, is cherce. You slay me.
bats :[
July 12th, 2010 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

@seismic-2 (#96): you are too, too kind.

@Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#110): wow. And to think I already get all weird and funny-feeling whenever I watch beach volleyball. Now this reference…
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 12th, 2010 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

@Anonymous (#111): I didn’t follow the strip for a number of years (it was pre-internet and no local newspapers carried it), but I heard rumors that Hank acquired a husband and child somewhere along the way. Do any mudges know this for a fact?
Poteet
July 12th, 2010 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#98): I happen to think natural red hair is beautiful, and have to curb my tendency to stare at it. So Mama Kat, that’s another reason you deserve what Margo is probably going to do to you.
areawoman
July 12th, 2010 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

@Violet (#54):

COTW!
Buck Ripsnort
July 12th, 2010 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

If the Kit Kats wind up dressing Margo in rubber dominatrix gear, all will be forgiven. At least by the readers — Margo will take her vengence to the grave.
Buck Ripsnort
July 12th, 2010 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

DT: For those of us who remember a few weeks (months?) back, Anja Nu dead is only slightly more disturbing than Anja alive.
curlyfries
July 12th, 2010 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#118): Since I don’t think Hank ever had a life outside the newsroom that would surprise me. It would also surprise me because she was meant to be an archetypal lesbian career woman for two reasons: a) a perfect foil and no competition to Brenda in the man-market and b) literally married to her job and in a great position to support “our girl”. Dale Messick retired from the strip in 1980, so things may have changed, but I’d be disappointed if they did. Dale’s real name was Dahlia – which she changed to the androgenous “Dale” because male editors in the ’30’s and ’40’s were so biased wouldn’t even look at her work, let alone take it seriously. So I think Hank was a sort of barbed insider commentary, slipping what could be seen as an even more “objectionable” character under that male-dominated radar.
The Poster with No Name
July 12th, 2010 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

Josh — It’s a little late, but congratulations on this blog’s anniversary, and many thanks — Between your commentary and that of all the witty commenters, I’m always certain of having many laughs throughout the day.

…And having said that, feel free to disregard the following song-like tribute. Apologies to fans of the song “My Way” (i.e., Sinatra fans and drunken, karaoke-loving businessmen) and to everybody everywhere:

[verse 1]
And now, the time is here
For Josh’s sixth
Anniver-sary.
He’s been blogging six years
‘Bout Marty Moon and Meddlin’ Mary.

He’s read strips bad and good
Even through Crock he would be trudgin’ –
And now, we know him as
Comics Curmudgeon!

[verse 2]
He reads soap opera strips
And blogs when Judge
Parker gets racy.
He views Archie and Zits
And gruesome deaths caused by Dick Tracy;

And Fun-ky Winkerbean,
Whose subtlety hits like a bludgeon –
We’re all addicted to
Comics Curmudgeon!

[bridge 1]
How would we live without his quips
‘Bout Aldo and Foobocalypse,
And all the gals there in 3G,
And Spider-Man, who loves TV?
Like Mark Trail’s fist, we can’t resist –
Comics Curmudgeon!

[verse 3]
He’s wrung genuine laughs
From Margo’s snide
Finger quotations.
He’s put up with the crap
Of Luann’s sex-ual frustrations.

He sees idiocy
In Pluggers and
Mallard’s mad fudgin’.
But he’s better than that:
Comics Curmudgeon!

[bridge 2]
And he’ll even read 9 Chickweed Lane;
Not even that drives him insane.
He’ll snark on strips both small and large
And love between Beetle and Sarge.
If you want more, check out his store –
Comics Curmudgeon!
Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
July 12th, 2010 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

Regarding Hank: as a small child I always thought that Hank was a Scottish man. Granted, a skinny, tall Scottish man with no chest hair or beard. In my teen years (the Chicago Tribune has always run Starr), I thought that Hank was a lesbian. Now, she’s like that good friend of Sally Forth at work, serving no purpose but to make Brenda look good.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
July 12th, 2010 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

@The Poster with No Name (#124): Nicely done! I’ll be humming that for the rest of the evening!
Carrie at the prom
July 12th, 2010 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

Been chatting with my Dad about the Funky Winkerbean storyline. We both agree that there’s only two ways it can go: Funky wakes up from his coma, or he dies. Can we have a strip without a title character? Or will it be like John Darling(Thanks, TvTropes and Wikipedia!) with the remaining cast members moving over to Crankshaft?

I do have a side bet on Funky being brain damaged when he wakes up, or maybe paralyzed from the neck down, or something equally depressing and morbid.

Think maybe while he’s wandering around in the fake past he runs into Adult Lisa sitting on a bench with Masky McDeath? And they’re watching Teen Lisa doing… whatever?
This Guy
July 12th, 2010 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

@The Poster with No Name (#124): *sniff* That was beautiful.
Kibo
July 12th, 2010 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

@Carrie at the prom (#127):

Wait, are you saying Funky Winkerbean will be brain-damaged or “Funky Winkerbean” will be brain-damaged? ‘Cause I think it already is.
True Fable
July 12th, 2010 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

@troy macgregor (#68): Very nice! I could tell that was James Lipton right away, nicely done!

@Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#110): Enjoyable as always! You never cease to entertain me with surprise twists and turns.
mr 12 oz can
July 12th, 2010 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

mark trail- by cherrys confused look today how long could she have been at that hairdresser . i see a episode of cheaters coming up
gil thorp- gil is so lucky to have a hot and clueless wife but even she knows he prefers the manly grip of kaz and the drunken sluttyness of marty moon
maryworth- this is the only comic that shows constant repeats during the same storyline. they need a karen and joe reality show id never miss it
rush- the new dvd rush beyond the lighted stage is a great view even if you dont like the band . it shows how if you have a good freind you can really succced in life .
Emily K [Riff Chick]
July 12th, 2010 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

@numbskull72 (#105): LOL

also-

TOM BATIUK PUT A SORT-OF-JOKE INTO TODAY’S STRIP MY MIND IS BOGGLING
Emily K [Riff Chick]
July 12th, 2010 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

@Carrie at the prom (#127): oh, FUCK! i totally FORGOT about the merciless killing of John Darling!

in fairness, he did that to screw with the Syndicate, and hey, I can appreciate telling the boss where to stick it.

It seems to me he got the taste for cartoon character blood (ink?) and had to up the ante, by having a beloved character and single love of a main character’s life die slowly, morbidly, graphically, and painfully day after excruciating day in front of every reader’s eyes. Sort of like how a guy with a troubled childhood who violently assaults people can “graduate” to rape, then murder, then rape-murder.
DairyStateDad
July 12th, 2010 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#87): Come to think of it, isn’t that kind of the distaff version of Wolverine’s pointy hair?

I think the Kitty-Kat team will want him declawed before they give him hair advice.
DairyStateDad
July 12th, 2010 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

@The Poster with No Name (#124): Better late than never. Total win!
Walker of Dog
July 12th, 2010 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

@Helen Clark (#26): Helen, you are the original Flaming Hot Mess – don’t ever change. We all look forward to your visits, when you come lurching and staggering…straight into our hearts. And then you vomit in them.

@Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#110): Great story – plus a cliffhanger! In the next installment, will we learn whose lips move when they read?
Soundman
July 12th, 2010 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

9CL:Naturally, I comforted him, just like the girls in the USO taught me, by giving him a reach-around.
Poteet
July 12th, 2010 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

@Walker of Dog (#136): Re Helen Clark, yeah, Well said.

GT — Even the apples in the first panel look weird. If they are apples.
FOOBed again
July 12th, 2010 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#118) & also curlyfries @ 123: Brenda Starr used to be be in the Seattle Times in the 1980s and yes, they did introduce a grown daughter of Hank’s called, I believe, Henky (I think she and her mom were both called Henrietta). This would have been a few years after Dale Messick retired–I’d say this storyline probably happened in late 1985 or early 1986.

This Henky was very homely like her mom, but slightly more feminine, and she had a crush on a nephew of Brenda’s who I believe was a budding rock star or otherwise famous in some way. (I think he might actually have been Basil’s nephew–I can’t remember if he had an eyepatch though.) It seems like his name was something like Skip. This Skip knew Henky but thought of her as a friend or one of the guys. She wasn’t shy either–she threw herself at him quite often if I remember.

During this storyline another homely but extremely shy girl called Amy who worked either in a library or an accounting office, met or found out about Skip and got a crush on him as well. She probably had what we would now call extreme social anxiety disorder as well as depression and some other mental illness as well. She had no friends and lived with her parents. But she did have a good imagination. She thought of a way to get Skip interested in her.

With a lot of makeup, a wig, falsies or padded bra and some wild new clothes this Amy transformed herself into a beauty who passed herself off to Skip as having superpowers like Wonderwoman. She was really gorgeous after her “makeover”, unrealistically so, and she’d only do this at night–during the day she still went to her job as homely shy Amy. I don’t remember what she called herself but I’ll call her Supergirl. She found a way to meet Skip and he fell in love at first sight.

When she was in her Supergirl clothes she was outgoing and sexy–totally opposite to her Amy personality. She also had to be mysterious because she didn’t want Skip to find out she was really Amy.

Eventually Amy/Supergirl died tragically–I think she was going to pretend to fly out a window, and she had a ladder there but she missed it. Or she may have decided to commit suicide, but anyway, she jumped out a window. (No, Henky didn’t have anything to do with it.) Henky comforted the bereaved Skip, but I don’t know if they ever got together or if she ever appeared in the strip again, as I think the Seattle Times dropped it not long after that.

curlyfries, sorry to disappoint you, but at least it happened after Messick retired. It’s really cool the way that Messick slipped her in there past the censors.

Now that I’m thinking about it more–could Henky have been Hank’s niece instead of her daughter? Hank’s sibling might have named their daughter after her?

Anybody else remember this storyline?
[Old Man] Muffaroo
July 13th, 2010 at 12:02 am [Reply]

@The Poster with No Name (#124): Sinatra covered that? Jeez, he had a frickin’ nerve.
Carrie at the prom
July 13th, 2010 at 12:09 am [Reply]

07/13 FW: Wow, talk about self loathing! Maybe death would be better for Funky.
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 13th, 2010 at 12:11 am [Reply]

@FOOBed again (#139): Thank you for sharing your memories — I didn’t know any of this! Hmmm… I wonder if the Henky/Skip/Amy storyline took place during Ramona Fradon’s tenure on Brenda Starr? Fradon had a long association with superheroes (Aquaman, Metamorpho and Super Friends) before she worked on Brenda, and “Amy the Superwoman” sounds like a Fradonesque character!
Poteet
July 13th, 2010 at 12:11 am [Reply]

7/13

A3G — WOW. Now I know why I don’t watch reality TV. It’s too terrifying. I’m still recovering from THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS — I’m not sure I’m ready for THE BREAKING OF THE MARGO.

MT — In my county, strays go to a nice public animal shelter where the doors are locked at night, there’s a security system, and more than 90% of the animals get adopted. Think about it, LoFo City! You don’t have to depend on Apple Mary’s outdoor pens indefinitely!

MW — Are women even allowed to call men after the first date in this strip? Isn’t there, like, a law against it?
True Fable
July 13th, 2010 at 12:14 am [Reply]

Scenes from Suburban Hell Check Lois’s slutty half-closed eyelids in panel two, and tell me she doesn’t get her freak on now and then! It just probably isn’t with Hi, that’s all.
Doug Puthoff
July 13th, 2010 at 12:18 am [Reply]

Harvey Pekar dead: Bummer. Crankshaft and Funky Winkerbean still alive: Another Bummer.
Carrie at the prom
July 13th, 2010 at 12:20 am [Reply]

7/13

Just got back from checking Apt 3-G:

“You will submit to this makeover, or I will KILL YOU!!!”
Hi There
July 13th, 2010 at 12:21 am [Reply]

Old Funky reunites with the Fickle Sapling!!! Leaning up against his new best friend, Old Funky offers skeezy observations about the local slag. As usual, the Fickle Sapling is noncommittal.

I can see the ol’ park bench in panel two, but where’s the Vacuous Shrub?

Sounding like a vampire, the fat man describes the hell he’s going to put Holly through.
DeLand DeLakesd
July 13th, 2010 at 12:22 am [Reply]

Sooooo, I’m a long-time lurker who has emerged out of the woodwork to offer this apropos-of-Funky-Winkerbean’s-near-death-experience tidbit:
It all begins with the more dickish of Batiuk’s two projects. I am of course talking about Crankshaft.
Years ago, I had a dream about Crankshaft. Now at the time, I had not yet discover the Comics Curmudgeon and had not so much as thought about that comic strip in years, so the fact that I would dream about Crankshaft was odd enough. But it gets better:
I “read” the dream in Sunday-comics format, and in the comic, Crankshaft came to the realization that everything that had happened in the comic up to that point had been a mass hallucination on his part, because he was, in fact, DEAD. The second-to-last panel showed the old man’s face contorted in horror as he came to this realization, and the last panel was, simply, black.
Needless to say, I was kind of freaked out when Batiuk decided to actually carry out this story line, except on Funky instead. Crankshaft, as we all know, will never actually die.
DeLand DeLakes
July 13th, 2010 at 12:23 am [Reply]

Apparently I don’t know how to spell my own name! It’s DeLakes. Sheesh. @DeLand DeLakesd (#148):
bats :[
July 13th, 2010 at 12:24 am [Reply]

It was just a few years ago — four, to be exact — and a week — that someone. very. special. entered Mary’s life. How fitting, at this time of anniversary greetings, that something like this happens.
Poteet
July 13th, 2010 at 12:25 am [Reply]

7/13

FW — When I was wearing my uncomfortable old high school band uniform in hot weather, “happy and carefree” is not how I would have described myself.

PHANTOM — They force prisoners to dig deep holes with hoes? No wonder she’s hellbent on getting out.
numbskull72
July 13th, 2010 at 12:27 am [Reply]

@Emily K [Riff Chick] (#132): Know what would be awesomely hella-kewl? If Kat and Kitty outfitted the A3G girls each with the big black wide-brimmed hats with belt buckles on them as a finishing touch! Who knew the Quaker Oats guy had it goin’ on like that?
Poteet
July 13th, 2010 at 12:29 am [Reply]

@DeLand DeLakesd (#148): Welcome! And ooooh, creepy dream. One more crime to add to Batiuk’s list.
FOOBed again
July 13th, 2010 at 12:36 am [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#142): I think it probably was. It says in Wikipedia that she did the strip from 1980 to 1995, and this was in approximately 1985-1986.
DaveyK
July 13th, 2010 at 12:37 am [Reply]

A Flaming Hot Mess is what Mama Kat is going to be once Margo’s done with her.
numbskull72
July 13th, 2010 at 12:54 am [Reply]

OK I’m up late, knockin’ back a few, but this just hit me about today’s Dick Tracy. How in the hell is he bandaged up already? Was there an emergency crew on the scene between panels? The same one that removed the plane from on top of Anja Nu’s corpse? It reminds me of the Road Runner cartoons, where Wile E. Coyote would fall off a cliff, land, then have a rock smash him, only to emerge fully bandaged up. The only thing Dick’s missing is a cardboard sign that says “!”
While I’m at it, did anyone happen to catch Pawn Stars on the History Channel Monday night? A guy bought in some original framed Dick Tracy panels from 1972, along with some older Lil’ Abner panels. Don’t think he got much for them. Hell, I’d give $200 to have the DT panels hanging in my game room just for the irony of it.
FOOBed again
July 13th, 2010 at 12:54 am [Reply]

@FOOBed again (#154): Oops, 1980 to 1985, not 1995. Sheesh.
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 13th, 2010 at 1:14 am [Reply]

Apt. 3-G: It’s Margo Magee vs. the Borg Queen! (Since Mama Kat is actually threatening Margo — a better name for her might be KRAZY Kat!)

Six Chix: Some cutting edge humor from the writer of Apartment 3-G. (“No shit, Shulock!”)

Hi & Lois: Do the night owl and the early bird get together for some Afternoon Delight? (Nice to know that the titular characters still enjoy a roll in the hay!)
Ed Dravecky
July 13th, 2010 at 1:16 am [Reply]

The COTW post is up! The COTW post is up!
Carlo
July 13th, 2010 at 10:44 am [Reply]

“You know what the judge said, and my lover Carlos will kick your ass if he catches you.”

Carlo can do that too, you know. . . . What is wrong with me, wanting to scam on some cartoon strip guy’s wife? Thank God everyone has jumped to the next topic by now.
fishmorgjp
July 13th, 2010 at 11:38 am [Reply]

127 Carrie at the prom: That’s it! Funky awakens from his coma with brain damage… now he cannot blink both eyes at once. Or maybe he can’t pronounce the letter ‘c’.
Robert
July 13th, 2010 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

Today’s Funky Winkerbean is pretty effectively creepy if you’re unaware that Funky is hallucinating that he’s in the past.
Brett
July 14th, 2010 at 8:41 am [Reply]

Dick’s look of joyful surprise is perfectly understandable. “Blank! You survived Anja’s attempt to steal my rightful kill! And you’re still holding a gun that I can claim was vaguely pointed in my general direction before I riddled you! Life is GOOOOD!”
Lala
July 14th, 2010 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

Sooo… no one’s commented on the fact that Gil Thorp’s emasculating Real Doll has suffered some sort of tragic disjointing, rendering her pelvis utterly separated from her “spine”? That anatomy is most disquieting.
harv
July 14th, 2010 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

regarding dick tracy, i think jimmy conway (robert deniro) said it best: “what are you, some kind of fuckin sick maniac?”

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Kat and Kitty’s firing squad of humiliation!

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