The Comics Curmudgeon

40 responses to “Metapost: Josh needs tips!”

1. treedweller
   August 6th, 2006 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

   In yesterday’s Austin American-Statesman, we learned that a federal court has redrawn several of Texas’ congressional districts. A couple of years ago, Tom Delay and company did their level best to defeat Congressman Lloyd Doggett and other Dems by redistricting; instead of representing most of Austin (largely a liberal oasis in the vast dubya wasteland that is the rest of the state), his district became a long, narrow ribbon stretching from south Austin to the Mexican border (he still won, to the chagrin of the R’s) The rest of Austin got parceled out to Republican districts (I am now in a district that stretches to Houston, where the majority of its members reside).

   Anyway, I’m still marginalized, but Lloyd got back a nice, compact district representing most of Austin. I don’t know how blog-worthy all this is, but I’m enjoying the opportunity to gloat over Delay’s defeat.

2. Bigfoot
   August 6th, 2006 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

   Just check for news about MD’s comptroller & former Governor (also former mayor of Baltimore) William Donald Schaefer. He’s a gold mine of inflammatory statements and general stupidity.

   But don’t be “unpredictable” like Kelly Welly. Willie Don’s been known to dig up phone #s of people who complain about him & call to harrass them back.

   Good luck!

3. John R.
   August 6th, 2006 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

   Somewhat offtopic, but have you seen:
   http://garfieldisdead.ytmnd.com/
   (also mentioned at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garfield#Short_storylines)

   Paging M. Knight. M Knight, call on line one…

4. Marc
   August 6th, 2006 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

   MW – Yay! More taupe colored food and self-satisfaction! And Mary, let’s put two and two together…ALDO IS ON THE PHONE YOU OLD HAG! Don’t answer it! Call Verizon or whoever is your telephone provider and ask them to block his number! And what the hell…only you would go out to buy things for an apple pie and then end up baking a lumpy tuna casserole….and apparently Mary can sense the taste of things…”I’m a darned good chef!” Taste the food please.

5. Dingo
   August 6th, 2006 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

   Josh, look into those allegations that Laura Bush (who, in a Christmas 2001 card from the White House would make a Hooters waitress blush) left the village idiot and moved into a hotel for a few days because of the amount of time spent with his “other wife” – one Condaleeza Rice!

   Remember, the Star broke Gary Hart and Bill Clinton’s piccadillos. No one believed them and they were true.

6. ak_teacher
   August 7th, 2006 at 12:05 am [Reply]

   This is kinda interesting and weird…
   Bong hits 4 Jesus
   http://www.juneauempire.com/stories/012902/Loc_freespeech.shtml

7. bonnach
   August 7th, 2006 at 12:08 am [Reply]

   It might help to blog without your pants on… like she does. Freedom of the press!

8. Legion
   August 7th, 2006 at 1:26 am [Reply]

   I don’t have any political dirt for you, Josh, but if you run out of things to say, always remember you can plump up your columns with TDIET-brand mumbling. For instance:

   So, j’hear? Israel Air Force launched . . . um, uh . . . airstrikes on the Lebanese town of Qana– real, real big jets– releasing . . . um . . . MK-84 precision-guided bombs on an apartment building. Heh, heh. Well, y’know. 30 people are confirmed dead. Mostly children.

   See how easy that is? You’ll fill up those column inches in a snap!

9. catastrophile
   August 7th, 2006 at 3:46 am [Reply]

   Hehehe . . . that’s . . . terrible.

   Didja ever notice how every time your intelligence and recon reports that a building is full of terrorists, and you order massive airstrikes to flatten it . . .

   . . . but somehow, all they ever find in the rubble is women and kids! Oh, yeah!

   God, that’s awful. If I could draw, I’d make that strip in a second.

   (BTW, I know that was completely tasteless and horrible. You don’t need to yell at me.)

10. Zorba the Geek
    August 7th, 2006 at 5:55 am [Reply]

    Go on over to the Washington Post website, print edition (or buy the daily paper) especially “Reliable Source” in the Style Section. The Metro Section and Politics can also be fertile fields. You have to register, but it’s free. If you don’t feel like using your own info or making something up, use Bugmenot.com to get a log-in that will probably work. The Connecticut Democratic primary (tomorrow) is a particularly fertile field for mockery.

11. Bigfoot
    August 7th, 2006 at 6:52 am [Reply]

    You can get access to almost every news website with the log-in dailykos (or dailykos@kos.com) and PW dailykos. It even worked for the Juneau Gazette’s Bong Hits for Jesus article.

12. yellojkt
    August 7th, 2006 at 7:21 am [Reply]

    I had no idea Wonkette was so, uh, desparate. I’ll clear out my clalendar in case they need someone next week.

13. Screamin' Norwegian
    August 7th, 2006 at 8:14 am [Reply]

    Randy checking out Gloria’s “filing papers” may be Wonkette-worthy.

14. Screamin\’ Norwegian
    August 7th, 2006 at 8:15 am [Reply]

    Randy checking out Gloria’s “filing papers” may be Wonkette-worthy.

15. Dan
    August 7th, 2006 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/006583.html

    Ahem. That is all.

16. Islamorada Girl
    August 7th, 2006 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    Josh–Make a list of all the politicians you’d like to see caught in bed with a dead hooker or a live boy. Improv from there.

17. pelagius
    August 7th, 2006 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    Let’s see – Baltimore was swamped with shit over the weekend. There was a road rage homicide on the Dulles Toll Road. There have to be some yuks in that. What about blogging from the POV of “the heartland” (i.e. anywhere but DC)? What bizarre things are happening in your neck of the woods?

18. James Schend
    August 7th, 2006 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    Anywhere but DC, New York, or LA. I agree entirely. From watching the news, you’d think those were the only three urban areas in the entire US.

    In any case, just do what most everyone else does: Rip-off Fark.com headlines.

19. bupdaddy
    August 7th, 2006 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    #12 – Wonkette got a real job as an editor for Time magazine. But by all means clear out your clalendar.

20. e
    August 7th, 2006 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    I’d suggest checking out thinkprogress.org and grist.org for good news items to ham up.

21. Zorba the Geek
    August 7th, 2006 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    You can also go to BuzzFlash.com- it’s “headline news” for lefties; they love to post links to (mostly political, but sometimes personal) dirt on right-wing politicians. For the equivalent political and personal dirt on left-wingers, there’s always Drudgereport.com (I’m holding my nose here, but I guess the right needs equal time).

22. Maxie
    August 7th, 2006 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    #5, it’s been done
    http://www.wonkette.com/politics/white-house/the-bushcondi-rumors-an-update-182711.php

23. Maxie
    August 7th, 2006 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    #5, it’s been done

    http://www.wonkette.com/politics/white-house/the-bushcondi-rumors-an-update-182711.php

24. Smokin Grassroots
    August 7th, 2006 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    Josh- you got me reading Apt. 3G, Mary Worth and Mark Trail religously, maybe you can similarly inspire folks to follow politics more closely. Or at least laugh at Katherine Harris.

25. rich
    August 7th, 2006 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    Big primary tomorrow in Connecticut between Sen. Joe Lieberman and challenger Ned Lamont.

    Joe Lieberman, that’s comic gold right there.

26. Cern
    August 7th, 2006 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    Pray that Katherine Harris does something stupid. You can milk that all week. Barring that, post old pictures of Katherine Harris in a tight sweater and make some comments about her “guns.”

    Katherine Harris = Wonkette Gold

27. Anonymous
    August 7th, 2006 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    This may or may not be a choice tidbit depending on your memory, but Rep. Bob Ney (R-Ohio) who is currently getting sucked under by the Abramoff scandal is the asshat that spearheaded the whole “freedom fries” thing. Oh Bob, you so clever!

    But of course what we all want to know, what we are dying to know, is: what is ana marie cox *really* like?

28. Zorba the Geek
    August 7th, 2006 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

    Surely Senator Rick Santorum has said or done something stupid lately- he can usually be counted on for mockability.

29. Kyle Lady
    August 7th, 2006 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    Here is a valid potential article/post that is worth bringing attention to: Reuters Caught Photoshopping (and Reusing) Photos in Lebanon (and elsewhere):

    http://www.leftandright.us/index.php/site/reuters_faking_photos/

    and commentary…

    http://ace.mu.nu/archives/189452.php

    Links in comments on both sites provide further blunders/fakeage. Might be an interesting story, especially since the mainstream media is less than likely to pick this up…

30. Hogenmogen
    August 7th, 2006 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    This is from News of the Weird, it’s just an in-state senate, not national.

    New York state Sen. Ada Smith, known to some as the “Wild Woman of Albany” for her temper, pleaded not guilty in April for yet another alleged outburst (accused of assaulting a staff member with hot coffee after a comment about Smith’s weight). According to Senate officials cited by the New York Daily News, more than 200 of her staff members over the years have either quit or been fired. Besides Smith’s previous run-ins with Albany police, New York City police and United Airlines, other former employees have claimed that she assaulted them (the latest being a woman who said Smith threw a phone at her). Smith has denied virtually every accusation, but her exasperated Senate party leader has stripped Smith of seniority privileges. [New York Daily News, 7-21-06; Times Union (Albany, N.Y.), 4-5-06]

31. Maughta
    August 7th, 2006 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

    Rick Santorum’s challenger in the primary, Bob Casey (whose best attribute seems to be that he’s NOT Rick Santorum), refused money from Dan Savage of Savage Love fame (http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove) because he doesn’t want to be linked to dat faggot who coined the most popular definition of Santorum (just google it).

    On the comics front, I thought for sure that (DT)GT was using some colloquialism (along the lines of dollars to donuts), “fifty bucks a dozen,” of which I was unaware, while Marty waves around a carton of eggs for no reason. Alas, it seems to be actual dialogue. Which, of course, doesn’t mean that I’m not going to say “fifty bucks a dozen” the next time I need some obscure interjection.

    Dog will hunt.

32. Pendragon
    August 7th, 2006 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    Josh! You worked Mary Worth and Aldo Kelrast into Wonkette! You rock! Now all you have to do is work an ass-f**king reference into CC and you will have acheived the Web Trifecta!

33. 2fs
    August 7th, 2006 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

    Just make shit up, then claim you’re a Republican. I mean, it works for the real ones.

34. juggernaut
    August 7th, 2006 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

    what about a piece mockingdickless cheney for shooting a lawyer? damn, that NEVER gets old!

35. Anne
    August 7th, 2006 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    31: I think those eggs are actually incredibly expensive golf balls. However, that is the ONLY thing I understood in the entire strip.

36. Nog
    August 7th, 2006 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    I know it’s not Washington news, but if I had a blog it would say something about the self-described Nazi who is running for Congress in Butte Montana.

37. Mibbitmaker
    August 7th, 2006 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

    A couple items:

    Scandal: it was revealed that the Presidential election system has been fatally flawed for decades. After the JFK assassination, it elected (1972 and 2000 are in some doubt) a boorish warmonger, then a paranoid crook, followed by an unelected klutz, a li’l incompetent, a far-right actor, a goofy lip-reader, a hapless horndog, and an awkward idiot.

    The longest race: The ideological left has gone completely insane in the 2000s. The far right was smug, however, having beat the left by 5 decades. Moderates have a good chance of going nuts by 2048.

    Goodnight, and have a pleasant tomorrow.

38. mentarman
    August 8th, 2006 at 1:17 am [Reply]

    #29, it’s already in the mainstream media.

39. andres
    August 11th, 2006 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    my coment is nice it better show bucse i am going to the pee room

40. andres
    August 11th, 2006 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    sorry Metapost: Josh needs tips! all i said i like your problrm is that you need to make it more relisteic and alive just like a movie someare sad thati s what you you have. you should make some sad and some happy. becuse lots of people say i like comics that have an emocinal feling that is ready to let that feilling burst out…

All the cool kids…

…buy Comics Curmudgeon merchandise!

Randomly Selected Post O’ Mystery

• OH MY GOD OH MY GOD