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Mark Trail vs. the Fourth Amendment

Mark Trail, 7/26/10

Ha ha, dognapper! Mark Trail and Officer Murphy have used technological wizardry to track your ransom call back to your home! Dognapping being a crime of the most heinous nature, they don’t need any warrant from any fancy judge in order to rip your house to pieces looking for the poor mutt! In fact, since this is a “ticking time bomb” scenario (who knows what horrors he has planned for that dog, or for America?), they’re well within their rights to torture you, by letting loose that horrifying demon-thing at the lower left of panel two! Let’s take a closer look at this gap-toothed, bug-eyed monster, shall we?

Yes, we can see why you wouldn’t want this little demon in your house, screeching and clawing at the faces of your wife and family. But I guess you should have thought about that before you became a crime suspect, crime suspect!

Apartment 3-G, 7/26/10

In panel three, it’s clear that Tommie has become far too accustomed to the abuse that everyone heaps upon her, as it appears that she’s decided to save everyone a lot of time and just punch herself in the face.

This entry was posted on Monday, July 26, 2010 at 02:59 pm and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Mark Trail. |

140 responses to “Mark Trail vs. the Fourth Amendment”

nescio
July 26th, 2010 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

B.C.: What is actually going on here? It makes no sense whatsoever.

MW: I guess Mary is qualified to give psychoanalysis because she dressed to match the couch and chair.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
July 26th, 2010 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

MT: Good point, Josh. If Jack Bauer had Rusty Trail at his disposal… well, let’s just say the title of the show would have been 2-3, Tops.
commodorejohn
July 26th, 2010 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

Material like that Mark Trail commentary is the reason I came to this site, and pretty high on the list of reasons I stick around. Ahhh…
Bootsy
July 26th, 2010 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

GAAH! Did you have to spring that horrifying closeup on us with no warning? It’s making me randomly bold!
Bootsy
July 26th, 2010 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

…and I’m all ready for the punching now too! Mmmmm. I feel punchy. And bold.
ElkMeadow
July 26th, 2010 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

Looks like Mary Worth’s storyline is doing a shout out to FOOB’s Stone Season, Mike Patterson’s horried novel–”Fend for yourself!”
Patrick
July 26th, 2010 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

Wow, not only does Kat have her own makeover show, according to her jacket, she also just won the Masters Tournament!
Stu
July 26th, 2010 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

Great. So now it’s a “Tommie vs. Mary Worth” battle of the untrained, unqualified, un-degreed pop psychologists. Winner gets an all-expenses paid weekend de-fleaing Sassy.
Steve the Pocket
July 26th, 2010 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

Funky Winkerbean: “Laughter as medicine is really overrated”
Me in Montgomery Burns’ voice: We know what you think!
Poteet
July 26th, 2010 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

9CL — Oh yeah, that’s real subtle, that first panel there. Typical Brooke bait — if anyone complains or comments, that person just has a dirty mind. Right.
benro
July 26th, 2010 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

Close up of Rusty – NSFW or anywhere else for that matter
Just some guy
July 26th, 2010 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

Wait… Rusty and Mr. Reed are wearing the same blue shirt… have the same unkempt black hair… and those same soulless eyes…
I think we found Rusty’s real father!!
Semper Insolitus
July 26th, 2010 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

SlyFox: Slylock’s pathetic persecution of our soricidaean friend continues unabated. “A-ha, you vermin! Your clock is wound, proving that you stole the carrots because… because… because shut up!” Just eat him already, Slylock. We all know that’s what’s behind your obsession with Shady. Any child reading today’s solution who doesn’t think, “But couldn’t Shady have taken his clock with him on his trip?” needs to be given a special test.

@nescio (#1) re: BC: I think the baseball guy’s supposed to be on ‘roids, but I don’t think that really answers your question.
Nekrotzar
July 26th, 2010 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

Josh, you hypocrite, complaining about MT’s violation of the fourth amendment while simultaneously violating the eighth [*] with that enlargement of Rusty!
The Man with the Golden Nose
July 26th, 2010 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

Worst case of Stockholm syndrome I’ve seen. Soon, Tommie will be going around calling herself “Tanya” and robbing high-end dress stores to help the proletariat.
Poteet
July 26th, 2010 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

LUANN — I’m happy for the firefighters who are being spared this nauseating spectacle. If only we readers could be so lucky.
Les of the Jungle Patrol
July 26th, 2010 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

Those panels (especially the second one) from Mark Trail look like they’re drawings of cardboard cutouts of the characters. It’s charming to see Jack Elrod embrace meta-devices like this, where the consciously and intentionally two dimensional drawings reenforce the two dimensional characters and writing. I foresee the originals of this strip eventually going up at the NYC MOMA.
LaurenM
July 26th, 2010 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

Yep. And Kat is an attractive woman but she’s managed to oh god my eyes, my eyes
Uncle Lumpy
July 26th, 2010 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail is a picture of the shadow of a statue of a comic strip named Mark Trail — explains a lot, really.
Dude...wait...what?
July 26th, 2010 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

I still don’t see punching, WHEN WILL THERE BE PUNCHING?!?!?!?!
UncleJeff
July 26th, 2010 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

@Les of the Jungle Patrol (#17): I believe you’re on to something…but I think the only cardboard cutout here is Rusty Itself. They just got one of those things they use to make noises in greeting cards…recorded Rusty’s voice and take the Rusty Placard around town…terrifying everyone until they find out who has safety.
The Rusty Placard is lighter to drag around than the real thing.
nescio
July 26th, 2010 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

@Semper Insolitus (#13):
Yes, my problem is what exactly is a guy sitting behind a rock labelled “Cub Scouts” doing? Is he trying to attract/sign up Cub Scouts? Is he selling them? Remember, there are no human children in the strip.
littlestevie
July 26th, 2010 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

MT: Who needs such niceties as The Bill of Rights, Miranda rights, due process when there is a napped dog to be found! Mark, punch first, and ask questions later.
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 26th, 2010 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail — That pic of Rusty’s face is a paste-up job if I ever saw one! Since Mark’s right elbow is missing in the second panel, it’s obvious that Jack Elrod simply cut out a photostat of a previously used Rusty head and glued it on a new(?) body. (Sigh… Elrod no longer brings his “A” game to this comic, but hasn’t that been the case for at least 10 years now?)

Arlo & Janis/Snuffy Smith — There seems to be a surfeit of blonde guys named “Arlo” in the comics today! (Happy 25th Anniversary, JJ!)

Soup to Nutz — It looks like Andrew and Royboy have made a rash decision!
wossname
July 26th, 2010 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

@Dude…wait…what? (#20): My money is on punching tomorrow.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 26th, 2010 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#10): y’know, it looks like the version on Yahoo has been edited to conceal that. The shading is darker on Yahoo (& SeaPoI) compared to on the Chron.
Poteet
July 26th, 2010 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

MT — Rusty’s face is so appalling that only just now have I taken a good look at his hair. Arrrrgh!
Poteet
July 26th, 2010 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#26): Interesting.
Carlo
July 26th, 2010 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

So, Mark Trail is a statist with no regard for basic human rights. Is he any different than Dick Tracy?
Semper Insolitus
July 26th, 2010 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

MT: Mark Trail does not recognize your bourgeious notions of “due process” and “privacy.” There’s no such thing as private property in primeval forest law, and the only process you’re due is a punch in the mouth.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 26th, 2010 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

@Carlo (#29): Tracy uses guns, Trail uses fists. Rusty’s face, however, counts as a WMD.
seismic-2
July 26th, 2010 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

MT: In lieu of presenting the dog-napper a search warrant, Mark and the cop present him Rusty. It’s a writ of hideous corpus.
Farley's Revenge
July 26th, 2010 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

@The Man with the Golden Nose (#15): Will she become an heiress, too?

MT: To boldly punch where no one has punched before…But is so richly deserved.

Oh, and thanks for the close-up of the demon-spawn. Best diet aid I’ve ever used.
Chip Whittle
July 26th, 2010 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

@Carlo (#29):

So, Mark Trail is a statist with no regard for basic human rights. Is he any different than Dick Tracy?

Yes: Mark Trail looks for clues, uses them to make potentially logical deductions, and follows those conclusions to capture wrongdoers, often in action-flavored climaxes.

Dick Tracy wanders around in a squinting, uncomprehending haze while people shoot around him, blurt out incoherent threats (early in the story) or incoherent motives (in the last weeks), and finally die through methods which are maybe infinitesimally accelerated by his presence but otherwise don’t need him there. And then he gloats.
Farley's Revenge
July 26th, 2010 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

9CL: What the hell is that thing sticking out of the front of Kiesl’s silhouette? Is the big reveal going to be that Kiesl is really an alien life-form, here to impregnate chinless women with his seed?
Calico
July 26th, 2010 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

Tommie really has man-hands, doesn’t she? Damn, that’s a big paw.

I’d rather have a Fisher Cat loose in my house than the awful Rusty-thing. Ugh.
Spiff Bereft
July 26th, 2010 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

A3-G: Judging by her gestures in the last panel, is part of the new change Tommie’s embracing a career in bukkake?
Larry Fine
July 26th, 2010 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

FC — When she finds out it’s the moon that causes tides, Dolly will be so disillusioned. I’m looking forward to that.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 26th, 2010 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

@Calico (#36): The Fisher Cat looks better than Rusty, too!
Trilobite
July 26th, 2010 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

It would be much easier to believe that Tommie’s desire for change was genuine if there was anything to suggest that there was any change possible. When Kat the makeover queen has the same hairstyle as Tommie and is wearing the same fucking jacket and buttoned-up shirt that Tommie and Lu Ann and even Margo wear ten months out of the year, you have to wonder just what Tommie’s new look is going to be. Maybe she’ll start wearing more brown. Or put on sunglasses.
Cyranetta
July 26th, 2010 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

MW: Maybe it was because the coffee hadn’t yet kicked in, but I could swear that the final panel shows Mary trying to rip her own face off (to reveal herself as a Visitor, perhaps?).
Semper Insolitus
July 26th, 2010 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

@Trilobite (#40): She will learn the art of mixing and matching various shades and tints of brown in order to express the complex and mercurial soul that is Abigail “Tommie” Thompson.
Larry Fine
July 26th, 2010 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

MT — That closeup of Rusty should convince the skeptics: Rusty is Alfred E. Neuman’s twin brother! Alfred got the better deal on looks, though.
Digger
July 26th, 2010 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

MT: You waived your constitutional rights when you grew that mustache, Bucko.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 26th, 2010 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

@Cyranetta (#41): nah, Mary’s from “They Live”. (OBEY!)
bupdaddy
July 26th, 2010 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

The ‘punchline’ of every Funky Winkerbean for the past two weeks has essentially been Funky looking at the camera and saying, “Fuck you.”

“If this therapy doesn’t fix your spine, you’re looking at a steel rod.” “Fuck you.”
“You’re in our prayers, Holly.” “Fuck you.”
“Hey, Bill, look at pictures of the car.” “Fuck you.”
“Looking at the pictures of the cars, you’re lucky.” “Fuck you.”
“Funky’s going through the typical stages of grief.” “Fuck you.”

Maybe that’s the formula, and I’m only now realizing it. It’s “Fuck you, Winkerbean,” isn’t it? How long have the rest of you known about this?
Edgy DC
July 26th, 2010 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

Somebody needs to teach Mr. Reed a thing or two about the probable cause standard. You have facial hair, we have probable cause
ArtisticPlatypus
July 26th, 2010 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

That apartment 3-g strip gives me quite an overwhelming ‘brainwashing sect’-vibe.
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 26th, 2010 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

Apt. 3-G — At first read I thought Kat was saying to Tommie: “Don’t look at me, I’m a luger.” And if you look at Tommie in the last panel, it’s as though she were trying her best to imagine what it’s like to be a German semiautomatic pistol!

B.C. — What… no love for the GIRL scouts? (No Girl Scout Cookies for you, Zombie Johnny Hart!)

Nancy — Heh. Nancy is a Conehead!

Bizarro — Ink blotto!

Alley Oop — Because if you don’t, Umpa will kick you in the oompa-loompas!

Broom Hilda — Okay, we get it… the turtle has an underwater mortgage! (But wouldn’t it be funnier if the cartoonist had used a fish to make his point?)

Ripley’s — Ben Franklin invented the political cartoon in 1754! (Happy 256th Birthday!)
Baka Gaijin
July 26th, 2010 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

@seismic-2 (#32): Oh gawd that’s funny!

@seismic-2 (#Y265): “Mary covers her mouth in shock as the truth sets in. “Tell me, Mike… by any chance, was your father’s name ‘Wilbur’”?” My reality will fold in upon itself if this is true.

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#Y269): That’s sad. He has a wicked sense of humor.
spike
July 26th, 2010 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

@Dude…wait…what? (#20): Wednesday!
bats :[
July 26th, 2010 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#10): huh. Really. I am so jaded by this whole storyline, I (yes, right up there in the Hierarchy of the Gutterminds) failed to notice this. And once it was pointed out, still gets a resounding ‘meh.’
BMcE has become the teacher-and-wife from Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life, teaching a classroom full of bored schoolboys all about sex. I’d rather have an ocarina.

@wossname (#25): I’d say Rusty and Sassy reunited Tuesday. Punching Wednesday.

Hideous corpus. *snort*

@Calico (#36): @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#39): Oh, we’re talking fishers (the mustelid), not a fishing cat (the felid). Okay. I was going for a wolverine, but a fisher will do. Even a couple of minks.
littlestevie
July 26th, 2010 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#39): Queek, you poted a picture of a Fisher, which is in the weasel family. A Fisher Cat looks like a big brown tabby house cat with really freakin’ big paws.
UncleJeff
July 26th, 2010 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

@UncleJeff (#21): until they find out who has SASSY.
Jeez. It’s Monday.
Carlo
July 26th, 2010 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

@Chip Whittle (#34): Thanks for the clarification, Chip. Duly noted. Come to think of it, do any of the good guys have eyeballs, or are they all perpetually squinting in Dick Tracy?
ironflange
July 26th, 2010 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

FW: Are we about to add “massive stroke resulting from ham-handed chiropractor” to the litany of woe that is Funky W.?
littlestevie
July 26th, 2010 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#52)</a One step ahead of me.
Baka Gaijin
July 26th, 2010 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail, fixed for those with delicate sensibilities.
Semper Insolitus
July 26th, 2010 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

MW: Mary is Dr. Mike’s father. I mean it. Has anyone ever seen a photo of Jack Worth, let alone a photo of Jack and Mary together?
Semper Insolitus
July 26th, 2010 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

@Baka Gaijin (#58): Thanks for covering up Rusty’s vestigal second head in panel 2. That thing always creeps me.
CJColucci
July 26th, 2010 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

Rusty claimed to recognize the bark of his own dog. Strikes me as probable cause to believe that a dog-napped dog is inside. The only issue is whether to enter and look for the dog right away or to secure the premises (keeping the dog-napper from going inside or leaving) and get a warrant first. And even if they do it wrong, all that happens is that evidence of the dog’s presence is excluded in a criminal trial, if anyone bothers with one. Rusty and Mark get their dog back. Theoretically, the dog-napper could bring a civil suit for the violation of his 4th amendment rights, but he’d be lucky to get nominal damages of $1.00. And since nominal awards rarely support an award of attorney’s fees, no sane lawyer would take the dog-napper’s case.
Shawn S.
July 26th, 2010 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

Alright A3G, you stretched this makeover storyline long enough! Time to smoothly make the change to the strip’s new artist, Frank Miller.
Blinky the Wonder Wombat
July 26th, 2010 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#49)- Today is the start of the Boy Scouts 100th Anniversary jamboree, hence the Boy Scout reference. I have no explanation for a non-funny comic, however.
Baka Gaijin
July 26th, 2010 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

@Semper Insolitus (#60): Someone had to do it. Think of the children. WHO’LL THINK OF THE CHILDREN!
ArchieNemesis
July 26th, 2010 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

@bupdaddy (#46): By substituting your punchlines for Funky’s, the strip actually becomes funny and enjoyable rather than baffling and painful.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 26th, 2010 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

@littlestevie (#53): the Fisher is often called a Fisher Cat, despite being a mustelid.

a captioned example of the furry confusion.
gnome de blog
July 26th, 2010 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

@Calico (#36):

Tommie really has man-hands, doesn’t she?

You shouldn’t have gone on TV Tommie. Ted Forth will see you and want his hands back.
Baka Gaijin
July 26th, 2010 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

Dennis the Menace: Damn, I never noticed Mr. Wilson has Ted Forthitis of the ankles. Could his ankles be any more dainty without collapsing under his body’s weight?
Semper Insolitus
July 26th, 2010 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

@gnome de blog (#67): Your comment makes me think that a better Reality TV choice wouldn’t have been a Tommie-for-Ted wifeswap.
Écureuil Écumant
July 26th, 2010 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

@UncleJeff (#54): Still, the logic in @UncleJeff (#21) isn’t the least bit problematic — although it will be a neverending journey because where there is Rusty (even in placard form), there can be no safety.
yaoi huntress earth
July 26th, 2010 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

FW: Who replaced Funky with Eyore (Mr.-I-Whine-For-Attention)? Sorry WtP fans, I never liked the guy.
Ed Dravecky
July 26th, 2010 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

Oh my. “Sam seems to have taken a liking to Jules!” Does it still count as subtext if Judge Parker puts it right there in the narration box?
Ray Jay
July 26th, 2010 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

Hey, Tommie’s got man hands!
DAS
July 26th, 2010 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

@Chip Whittle (#34): Dick Tracy wanders around in a [...] haze [...]. And then he gloats.

Properly edited, your statement allows us to make the analogy Dick Tracy:Police Work::RMMD:Medicine

Changing “gloats” to “sleeps in on the couch while his wife is dressed is flimsy lingerie” (which no doubt both Dick Tracy — is he married? — and certainly Rex Morgan do), we have Dick Tracy:Police Work::Spider Man:Superherodom

I think we should push for a Comics Curmudgeon section on the SAT.
TheSweetestBro
July 26th, 2010 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

The sweats ruse was a… DISTACTION.

i HAVE the cahnge
Canaduck
July 26th, 2010 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

Man, that Rusty kid just gets uglier and uglier. Good lord. What made things worse was that I initially thought that the left hand of the dognapper actually belonged to Rusty, who was throwing up gang signs with his giant, malformed hand. Can you blame me?
TheHella-estJeff
July 26th, 2010 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

check it out, the AJGLU 3000 is now accessible online:
http://www.abdn.ac.uk/jokingcomputer/webversion/welcome.php
Randy
July 26th, 2010 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

MT: The only probable cause Mark needs is that he is confronted by a man with facial hair. QED.
bats :[
July 26th, 2010 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

@littlestevie (#57): hey, we Forest Friends have to stick together! :)

I don’t know if we’re all being cynical, or have become products of our overly-litiginous society, but we have to remember that the very root of this story is a sweet, simple one — a little boy finding his dog. awwww…
Obi-Haiv
July 26th, 2010 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

Apartment 3-G: Step 1 of Tommie’s make-over: Man Hands!!!
Ed Dravecky
July 26th, 2010 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

Poor Mary Worth, emotional vampire, can barely control the drooling as Dr. Mike bares his delicious soul to her meddle-fangs. (I need a Twilight-style “Team Mary” t-shirt.)
Andysocial
July 26th, 2010 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

I’d love to know what makes a dog’s bark particularly “sassy.” Whatever it is, it gives you free reign to invade someone’s private property.
cheech wizard
July 26th, 2010 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

A3G – So the first step in unleashing the attractive woman Tommie truly is is by getting rid of the sweat pants and scrubs. Because let’s face it, young women are a lot sexier in just their underwear.
Helen Clark
July 26th, 2010 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

Cripes, Mary, we gals know (hic) that encouraging a man to yammer on about himself is a sure-fire form of seduction. But you could just get him drunk, and then you could skip all this (hic) poor-me blather.
True Fable
July 26th, 2010 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

I laughed at Josh’s post, read into the comments and haven’t stopped laughing. Good snarkage!

You deserve this!
cheech wizard
July 26th, 2010 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#79): That is just fuckin’ hilarious.
Fashion Police
July 26th, 2010 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

One wonder’s why someone who claims to be a fashion expert with her own television program would go on the air in a cheap knock-off of something Mrs. Mary Worth picked up at the Santa Royale outlet mall.
jnoble
July 26th, 2010 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

Luann: Anyone else hoping for a Funky Cancerbean type storyline where our fawning young couple, awash in the glow of mutual passion and not paying attention to where the car is headed, get into a massive head-on collision and have an out of body experience? Maybe they can go back in time…or forward. Hey, there’s a middle aged Gunther! Instead of a slightly bitter teenage virgin, now he’s a 50 something very bitter virgin still scheming of ways to get into middle-aged Luanns pants…something no-one has done yet for some reason.
Fashion Police
July 26th, 2010 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#79):
Yes, indeed. Quite up to your usual standards.

We couldn’t help noticing in your previous installment featuring Dr. Roberts and Mrs. Worth that, as the doctor’s hair regained its ruddy tone his necktie drained from red to lavender. You may have discovered an important clue in the ongoing mystery of the chameleon clothing of Santa Royale.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 26th, 2010 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

Week 2 of the “Rejected My Cage strips” is up. Another “no kidding!” one. :-)
Basil and Leroy
July 26th, 2010 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

“Where is the dog?” “What are you talking about? Wait! Would you like some watermelon?” “Why that would be wonderful!”
Fashion Police
July 26th, 2010 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

In our view, the only person Ms. Kitty-Kat is qualified to make over is Mr. Brad DeGroot. Mr. DeGroot appears to have attempted to upgrade his wardrobe by borrowing from his roommate’s closet. He would have been better served by Mrs. Powers’ ugly pink pantsuit, even considering that men invariably look silly in women’s clothing.

Mr. Frank Bolle (who used to draw Winnie Winkle, so he ought to know better) is past eighty years old, is not comfortable drawing in the smaller format, and probably doesn’t care any more. One sincerely doubts that Mr. Greg Evans’ excuse is nearly as compelling.
tbiggs
July 26th, 2010 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

@Shawn S. (#62): Frank Miller doing A3G – that’d be genius! I’d want to see him do Mary Worth, too! And… just imagine the punching in Mark Trail. Or Funky W. I’m about ready to hand the entire comix page over to Miller!
commodorejohn
July 26th, 2010 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

@tbiggs (#93): Let him take over Dick Tracy. It wouldn’t be any less inane, and then it could follow its premise of wanton slaughter under the pretense of justice through to perfect, Platonic-ideal conclusion.
Austria
July 26th, 2010 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

GF: “This is a picture of a French soldier. Just to prove that they really did exist.” – my history professor

MT: “YOU STOLE A FRIEND OF MINE’S PET DOG!”

MW: Our Lady of Meddling seems to find the good doctor’s anecdotes amusing. See how she attempts to stifle her giggles in the second panel? “Yeeees, your suffering amuses me GREATLY! More! I crave MORE SUFFERING!!”

SF: Can I just say I love, love, love the continuity with the robot monkeys? If Ted actually DOES get a robot monkey someday, I think I’ll explode with glee.
Violet
July 26th, 2010 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

I think Kat’s right about being mindful of the message one’s appearance conveys. She went through some heavy deliberation before settling upon the image she wanted to project: Hillary Clinton, business leprechaun.
Ukulele Ike
July 26th, 2010 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

Edge City: Hang on. Just a minute. You mean….they’re not going to go ON with the “China Hutch” continuity? You mean, after all that fuss, Len n’ Abbie are going to just settle for an Ikea china hutch?

That’s IT?

Man, you let these characters into your life….you allow yourself to feel for them and care deeply about their china hutch problems and concerns….and they just drop the ball like that…

Oh, man.

9CL: Actually, I think that’s his shirt-tail.
skullcrusherjones
July 26th, 2010 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

Ceatures like Rusty Trail have to be invited into a human house but once invited, holy water and crosses no longer work.
McManx
July 26th, 2010 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

Garfield – Hot summertime at the beach comics in black bikini action continues: First it was Nancy’s Aunt Fritzi, yesterday Ma Keene; now it is Garfield’s veterinarian Liz who suddenly is revealed with a tight body. Tomorrow, I’m hoping for Blondie — she will have them all out-racked.

Mark Trail – Now that we have established Rusty as the crime fighting tool of the century (“Good Cop, Hideous-demon-child-bad Cop”), why keep the technique secret? Just think of what Slylock Fox could do with a Rusty in cleaning up the rampant crime all through his forest — plus he could retire that useless little bastard Max.

Mary Worth — I swear that Mary is stifling a laugh in panel two at Dr. Mike’s woeful childhood tale of abandonment. I can’t tell if it is a “Bwaa-ha-ha — I’ve got ‘im in me clutches” laugh, or just a “Snicker — what a fuckin’ dweeb” laugh. Or maybe just an old lady “Oops, just peed my Depends” gesture.

Phantom — Jesus, Diana. Forget the number at the Skull Cave? They are more likely to accept a collect call from a Ghostess-who-walks than your mother would be, considering she thinks you are dead.
erzuliemom
July 26th, 2010 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

I think we’ve found Don Draper’s true secret identity — he’s clearly Mark Trail.
gnome de blog
July 26th, 2010 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

@McManx (#99):
re Phantom – Nobody’s home at the skull cave, and there probably isn’t phone service in the Deep Woods. They still communicate with drums out there. Anyway, we’re less than halfway into a 17-month story arc. Eventually this call will help Stripey locate Diana. But not yet.

I still say her best bet is to go into a trance and contact Old Man Mozz telepathically. Or Mandrake the Magician.
Bobbie Merrill
July 26th, 2010 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

@Helen Clark (#84): You tell ‘er, Helen! Another surefire tactic is to do the yammering yourself (in an attractively insane way, of course) until he figures the only way to shut you up is to fill your prescriptions and fill your girly parts with his manly parts.
Hey, wait – was that an insight I just had? Maybe all this blabbing at the Upstate Home for the Disoriented yet Wealthy is working! At least the shrink doesn’t have a mint-green couch like Mary’s boy toy.
Helen Clark
July 26th, 2010 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

@Bobbie Merrill (#102): Well, all this talk of (hic) “filling up” has made me think of two things: the pool boy and this empty cocktail shaker. Let’s kill two birds with one stone. Oh, Raoul, I need you in the house! And grab the gin when you go by the bar, why don’t you?

That (hic) Mrs. Worth will have to fend for herself.
Joe Blevins
July 26th, 2010 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

A3G: I can practically hear Frank Bolle as he got this storyline: “Aw, crap. I’m gonna have to draw a bunch of different outfits now. That’s what I get for signin’ on with this girlie strip. Is Steve Canyon still running? Aw, screw it. Pantsuits! They’re all gettin’ pantsuits! Those never go outta style. Sheesh. Wimmen.”

MT: “WHY ARE WE YELLING?” “WHO WRITES THIS STUFF?” “WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME ANYBODY READ THIS STRIP NON-IRONICALLY?”
Paddy
July 26th, 2010 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

A3G: “Your problem is simple, Tommie. All you need to do is follow my example and style yourself to look more like a mid-drug binge Crispin Glover.”
Bobbie Merrill
July 26th, 2010 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

@Helen Clark (#103): Oh crap – I wish I had a pool boy! I suppose he’s rather lower-class, but if he’s young and vigorous, I can overlook that.

I should be out of here soon, Helen – maybe I’ll come for a visit.
Pariahic
July 26th, 2010 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

The prospect of Tommie punching herself in the face places me in an interesting position: I’m not used to rooting for Tommie to succeed at something.
JupiterPluvius
July 26th, 2010 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

“I THINK IT’S SASSY!”

Rusty, dude, this is a cartoon strip, not RuPaul’s Drag Race.

And no, we don’t want to see your jazz hands. EVER.
cheech wizard
July 26th, 2010 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

@Joe Blevins (#104): Maybe Elrod writes the dialog for Mark Trail the same way Robert E. Howard wrote the Conan stories, banging them out late at night on an old typewriter in a upstairs bedroom of his mother’s house, while shouting out the words aloud.

Of course, these days, anyone who heard a voice coming out of a darkened house yelling “YOU STOLE MY FRIEND’S PET BEAR!” would probably call the cops, and the mental health authorities as well.
Helen Clark
July 26th, 2010 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

@Bobbie Merrill (#106): My dear Bonnie, if one (hic) is a woman of means, as I believe you are, one can have whatever one’s little (hic) heart desires. I live in the land of the young and the vigorous—goddammed annoying sometimes. But yes, by all means visit. I’ll introduce you ’round the Club, once that pesky (hic) suspension is lifted.
Citric
July 26th, 2010 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

The best part about the style ladies is that they look just as dowdy and dull as Tommie.
McManx
July 26th, 2010 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

Gnome @ #101
You are correct Gnome. She could have saved all the effort and just gone for Mozz. Or at least left a message with the Croccos. They always know where to find Mozz.

Oh, that reminds me. I bet the Croccos are OUTRAGED that Phantom took them to an oil rig in the Gulf. They are probably stuck in some makeshift hut somewhere getting their asses scrubbed with Dawn soap by some volunteers.
Bobbie Merrill
July 26th, 2010 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

@Helen Clark (#110): Now Helen, you’re not confusing me with that Bonnie Johnson, are you? Because she’s a frump! I know you’ve had a few cocktails, but surely you can tell the difference between a genteel woman of means and breeding like myself, and some shape-shifting credit-card-abusing loser!
Uncle Lumpy
July 26th, 2010 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

@Bobbie Merrill (#113):

Ernie, in contrast, is Fine.
Pseudo3D
July 26th, 2010 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

FW: She seems so cheerful when she’s talking about that metal rod…

FC: Ha ha, it’s funny because Dolly thinks she’s swimming in God’s pee.

BC: Since Johnny Hart died, BC is breaking down into unfunny inane comedy. Personally, I think it should end with a disaster of some sort.

Garfield: Jon has lived a sheltered life.
Buck Ripsnort
July 26th, 2010 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

I confronted the Rusty enlargement unafraid, and if I may say so, underwhelmed. I thought you’d go all Chip Kidd and make it full-page size.

As for BC — who IS that guy? He’s bigger and bulkier than anyone else in the strip, is he a new character?
Black Drazon
July 26th, 2010 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

You know, a lot of legacy strips look sort of like their new owners took the last fifty years of comics, spent an honest three months cutting out every unique drawing and entering them into a doc, and then using them like some sort of twelve-a-penny bits of clip art. But not Mark Trail! No, when not reusing storylines wholesale, Mark Trail goes the extra mile by paintstakingly hand-drawing new sets of twelve-a-penny bits of clip art. A quarter for an animal close-up, a dollar for no Rusty!
cheeky wee monkeys
July 26th, 2010 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

I was going to make a joke about Rusty and “Village of the Damned”, but I think I’m stepping over the line. Those kids are much less creepy than Rusty.
Jeremiah
July 26th, 2010 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

MW – While it’s possible that Mary is stifling laughter, she’s probably just trying to orgasm as quietly as possible as she thinks of the good doctor’s future castration. Though he doesn’t know it, showing emotional vulnerability in front of Mary is akin to dropping your trousers, spreading your legs, and handing over a pair of gardening shears.

RM – As Rex ruminates on the mayor’s misplaced concerns, he temples his fingers, a clear indication that the mayor will pay dearly for daring to think about his job security at a time like this. Perhaps Rex will take the Mark Trail approach and punch the bumbling mayor and his wife. Or he could go the Funky route and snark the mayor into depression. Of course, knowing Rex, this will all just lead to sexy-homosexual-innuendo-time.
sugarpie
July 26th, 2010 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail This whole Sassy-getting-into-trouble-thing is really starting to bug the heck out of Mark. “If I can just figure out how to get the little hobgoblin and its fucking dog back under the station wagon…I guarantee things will end differently this time”
ElkMeadow
July 26th, 2010 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

Cartoonist John Callahan died, July 24.

http://www.portlandtribune.com/news/story.php?story_id=128008998502590900

I’m not aware of anyone here ever snarking on his cartoons. After all, they were pretty far out there, pretty dark.

Every so often, someone would demand that libraries or newspapers drop his comics, as he was making fun of handicapped people, not aware that John was a quadriplegic.

He did an autobiographical strip of himself that ran in the short-lived Portland Permanent Press Paper. The two panels I remember most were his fanatasy of pimping out his naive Christian care-giver to raise some extra money, and when he tried to cash a check at the bank and the teller refuse because it was from Hustler Magazine. The most unbelievable part was when the State of Oregon demanded that he return his welfare payments: as he’d sold a couple of cartoons to magazines, he was obviously able to provide his own income.

I saw him a number of times in Portland, OR. He’d be cruising around in his electric wheelchair, catching the bus. We’d visit at bus stops. Once he invited me to go with him on a bus. I had another place to be at, and so turned him down.

“You’ll always wonder what might have happened,” he cheerfully informed me, as our buses pulled up and we went our separate ways.
Helen Clark
July 26th, 2010 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

@Bobbie Merrill (#113): Oh my dear, you are so (hic) right! It all gets a bit blurry after the fourth martini—but what are a few consonants between (hic) friends?
Bob Weber Jr.
July 26th, 2010 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

@ElkMeadow (#121):
John was a brilliant, funny cartoonist! It’s so sad and hard to believe he’s gone at the age of 59.
JupiterPluvius
July 26th, 2010 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

@ElkMeadow (#121): Thanks for signal-boosting that sad news here, ElkMeadow. Callahan’s autobiography, Don’t Worry, He Won’t Get Far on Foot is a great read. He will be missed.
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 26th, 2010 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

@Fashion Police (#92): Mr. Bolle’s versatility as an artist is undisputed. During the 1950s he illustrated Western comic books (Tim Holt/Red Mask, Black Phantom) and during the 1960s he branched out into superheroes (Dr. Solar). At 86 he’s also one of the oldest artists currently working on a comic strip!
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 26th, 2010 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

@Shawn S. (#62): If only! Unfortunately, the reality is this: no one at North America Syndicate would be willing to pay Frank Miller anywhere near his asking price to produce a comic strip for a medium that’s probably on its last legs. You’re also assuming that Miller would be willing to put aside his movie-making aspirations to work on the ongoing soap opera that is 3-G.
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 26th, 2010 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

@ElkMeadow (#121): I inadvertently posted the news about John Callahan on a dead thread, so I’m glad you mentioned it here!
wynne
July 26th, 2010 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

Did Kat just call pretty much every medical professional who wears scrubs a loser? Ha ha! Just wait until you get your next medical bill, Kat, and we’ll see who’s the loser then!
Ukulele Ike
July 26th, 2010 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

I always hated John Callahan’s stuff. Sorry he died, though.
Anonymous
July 26th, 2010 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

Actually, that horrific Rusty visage looks like a cut and paste from another Mark Trail strip.
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 26th, 2010 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

@cheech wizard (#109): Jack Elrod was born c. 1930, so I’m pretty sure his mother is dead!
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 26th, 2010 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

@Anonymous (#130): I made the same observation earlier (#24), but this isn’t the first time Elrod has cut corners on the art — and it won’t be the last!
cheech wizard
July 26th, 2010 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#131): More than likely – but I have a living aunt who’s old enough to be his mom.

And it could still be his mother’s house. Hell, she could still be there, a la Psycho. But given this is Mark Trail, he’d probably have her stuffed and set up as part of a Cabela’s diorama.
cheech wizard
July 26th, 2010 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

@cheech wizard (#133): Not that I’m trying to imply any maternal relationship between my aunt and Jack Elrod. A tough old bird like her wouldn’t stand for any kind of demented fantasies, particularly illustrated ones paraded before the public. About every two weeks, she’d be on the phone to him, screeching “Are you on drugs?! Are you on drugs?!”
mr 12 oz can
July 26th, 2010 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

mark trail – 2 weeks ago slimstache and bizzarro cherry lived in a second floor apartment now they have a ground floor house
mary worth- i wonder who brought the desk and bottle of water in for the good doctor . what does his father leaving him at 12 have to do with dating a woman who likes to get soused ??? drinking woman put out quicker dont they dr mike
sugarpie
July 26th, 2010 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

Sorry to hear aabout Callahan’s death. Several of the old Nat. Lamp. cartoon anthologies included a few of his works. The works of Rodriguez, Revilo, Vey, Caldwell, S. Gross, MK Brown…still make me laugh but probably wouldnt fly as well in the current times.
mgm
July 26th, 2010 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

The reason Kat considers everyone who wears scrubs to be a loser is because she only trusts shamanic witch doctors– “Scrubs and sweatpants say: don’t look at me, I’m a loser. Robes and skulls are the only way to get noticed and respected, especially in the medical profession!”
Al Harron
July 27th, 2010 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

@cheech wizard (#109): It’d be quite amazing for Howard to do that, considering the Howard house *had* no upstairs bedroom…
Janet
July 27th, 2010 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

A3-G– I’m still trying to figure out how that mother/daughter shlub team think they have the fashion sense to advise anyone how to dress!
Edna
July 30th, 2010 at 2:20 am [Reply]

Property Magazines will serve as the ammunition of a new property investor before his venture out to the battlefield of property investment.

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Mark Trail vs. the Fourth Amendment

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