The Comics Curmudgeon

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Compulsion

Wow! I go away for a few days to spend a little quality time with my mom and now I’ve sat down to do some bloggy stuff and found that you guys have made … some comments. A lot of comments. An extra large number of very funny comments.

I bow down to your comics obsessiveness. I was going to skip over the days I flaked out on, but now I see that you all deserve better than that. Thus, today I offer you quick takes on the weekend’s strips just past.

Judge Parker, 8/11/06

As has been widely noted, the new Judge Parker artist, after a very strong start, seemed to suddenly come to the totally understandable conclusion of “Holy crap, this is Judge Parker, why the hell am I putting any work into it?”, and the quality of the lettering and, to a lesser extent, art suddenly declined. It’s still an improvement over the previous artist, who made everyone look vaguely like one another and not-so-vaguely like monkeys. He also deserves kudos for making Horace look at least quasi-human. For your reference, here’s old-artist Horace:

Yeesh.

By the way, if the phrase “more than just a business relationship” doesn’t make your gaydar ping just a little, then you and I have very different agendas in reading Judge Parker, my friend. It adds a particularly twisted twist to Horace’s desperate attempt to get randy young Randy married off to somebody — anybody — before enduring the public scrutiny of an election.

Mark Trail, 8/11/06

Like any true Mark Trail aficionado, I find this strip totally unrealistic. Everyone knows that Kelly Welly wouldn’t beat around the bush, but would just say “bear penis.”

For Better Or For Worse, 8/12/06

You know, I think this strip is really sweet. I mean, in this go-go, youth-focused world, it’s nice to see a depiction of the sort of gentle, loving, but still very deep intimacy that builds up over the decades of an essentially decent marri… oh, who am I kidding. PLEASE GOD DON’T MAKE ME THINK ABOUT ELLIE AND JOHN DOING IT NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Gil Thorp, 8/12/06

You know, for a strip as manic as Gil Thorp, the wordless final panel here is almost shocking. It really brings home the sad and quiet desperation behind a character who’s usually full of bluster. It almost makes you feel sorr… oh, who am I kidding. WEEP, MOON, WEEP! YOU’RE SCREWED! SOON YOU’LL BE IN THE POORHOUSE! MOO HA HA HA HA HA!

Apartment 3-G, 8/14/06

You know what’s important to creating a storyline about underlying sexual tension? Having it involve at least one character who we might believe to have some sort of inner sexual persona. I’m not sure how either of these sad sacks would react to some sort of potential romantic relationship, but I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be sexy. Tommie’s look of panic and confusion in the final panel seems about right.

This entry was posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 at 06:12 pm and is filed under Apartment 3-G, For Better or for Worse, Gil Thorp, Judge Parker, Mark Trail, Mary Worth.

71 responses to “Compulsion”

The Paradox
August 14th, 2006 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

Yes Tommie is a pal…AND SHE’LL BE EVEN MORE WHEN I HAVE HER IN MY PIT!!! BWAHH HA HA!!!

“It puts the lotion on its skin…”

Oh wait a minute, that’s Aldo…
Dingo
August 14th, 2006 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

So, um…, just exactly what does Ted mean when he asks Tommie if he can call her when “he feels like climbing the walls”? Just exactly what walls does he mean? Sugar walls? She doesn’t bear any resemblance to Sheena Easton. Actually, Tommie bears little resemblance to an adult female. With that orange-ish mop top mane and Sister Bertrille outfit, she bears a striking resemblance to the Cuddly Dudley dog I had as a child (for those who remember Ray Rayner). I’m surprised the neighborhood dogs don’t start baying every time she steps foot from the apartment.

Oh, and since Josh has started a new thread, I put this animation on again here:

Mary Worth
Uncle Lumpy
August 14th, 2006 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

Serves Moon right. Don’t mess with the man who invented electricity, fer Chrissake!
B
August 14th, 2006 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

I hate to be a spoilsport, but it’s the gall bladder that poachers take from bears. You’re probabally thinking of tiger penis. And no mention of Zippy’s confusion of the Funky Winkerbean strip?
Lethargic
August 14th, 2006 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

Ya know, if I was gonna make a woman suit, I think I’d like mine to be wrinkle free. Can you imagine what a pain in the ass it’d be to iron out all those wrinkles from Mary’s leathered hide?
GotFuzzy
August 14th, 2006 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

Yeah, the lonely anguish of Marty Moon did make be feel a little bad for enjoying the pantsing that Lanny “William” Penn gave him.

Today, it’s Audience Feedback Monday in (DT)GT! I’m going to guess that what is wrong with the picture is that it was assembled by marmosets using the castoffs from a police artist’s sketch kit. The lack of opposible thumbs means all the features go sliding off the sides of the character’s faces.
Al Ewing
August 14th, 2006 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

Hi, I’m Ted. I allow my sentences to tail off suggestively…

And then finish them in a separate panel, revealing a deeper layer of meaning and suggesting a long dramatic pause, pregnant with sexy passion.

Look, I’m going to do it…

Again.
FleaBailey
August 14th, 2006 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

Ah, but in today’s A3G we see the ineffable loneliness, the sensitive pathos, the sheer idiocy that is Tommie. Finally her libido rears its ugly head (and a tear) over, of all things, her best friend’s husband, who is bound to come on to her for a some sympathy lovin’ sooner or later.

Tommie, you are SUCH a loser.
Morgan
August 14th, 2006 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

Anyone notice Sunday’s Mark Trail? He notes that one type of bird tidily cleans its babies’ droppings out of the nest. The final picture actually shows a bird flying off with a disgusting, grub-like item which is clearly meant to be a dropping. Ewwww.
Prehumous
August 14th, 2006 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

Hey, homeslices! Why does Gil have a goatee in the last panel of Gil Thorp?
gnome de blog
August 14th, 2006 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

We’re about to be treated to some as-yet unrevealed backstory. Tommie and Ted were probably a hot item back in college, until Ted got bored with Tommie’s dead-on impersonation of a mackerel and took up poetry reading with Lucy. Tommie has never gotten over it, and is stuggling with her desire to lead him on to the point where she can introduce him to her butcher knife.

Either that or she’s aching for that long-lost weekend at the up at the lake with Lucy and Ted and a whole lot of tequila . . .
Chris
August 14th, 2006 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

Tommie was so freakin’ hot when I was a kid in the 60s…snarky, smartass, and usuallly in a really hot nurse’s outfit. It’s borderline tragic that she’s become a sexless, boring, arid cipher…the old Tommie would have been (off panel, of course) taking the piss out of Ted and then taking Ted’s pisser out of his pants and having a jolly good time with it.

Oh, for the old days.
Chris
August 14th, 2006 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Peg time, duh. BOHICA, John.

It’s the only thing that keeps that relationship going.
anonymous
August 14th, 2006 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

The old-artist Horace! Still want to punch him in his stupid face!
Bitter Scribe
August 14th, 2006 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

I don’t get what Moon is mooning about. Is he upset because he lost? Or is he feeling guilty because he’s setting this guy up for one final hustle?
Desdemona
August 14th, 2006 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

Not to be preoccupied with prepositions, but in the final panel of Mark Trail, shouldn’t Kelly say “with” instead of “from”? I suppose it means the same thing, but it just sounds odd to me. Then again, since when do people in comic strips ever sound like real people. Never mind.
Pinback65
August 14th, 2006 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

Okay, I’m just gonna say it: If I lived in the same building as Tommie, and saw her walking the halls in a state of perpetual confusion, and it was a dateless Saturday night, I’d invite her back to my place. And she’d be a sweet and pliable lover, but fail to understand that it’s just for tonight, and she’d call, and I’d make excuses, but eventually I’d have to talk to her again, and if it’s another dateless Saturday night…

Sorry. Have I said too much?
Zorba the Geek
August 14th, 2006 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

It’s not just his gall bladder that the bear is missing- the poachers probably got his paws, too. Bear paws are considered a hugely expensive delicacy in some parts of Asia.
Anonymous
August 14th, 2006 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

Gil Thorp: what’s wrong with this picture? Well, it’s dark at the arena in the middle of the day. If that isn’t sinister, what is, right? Then there’s the almost unbearable pathos of the balding man who has had to loosen his tie, probably out of shame and guilt over the situation. The empty shock of the nuclear family in the background. And then – wow! – that last panel. The smug joy on their faces as they realize that this is their moment! They alone will be visible in the darkness! The Glowing Milford Air Whatchamacallits! Plus, without digital scoreboards, they’re like, so going to win big. Eating all that depleted uranium has finally paid off.

Personally, I live for my daily Gil Thorp.
Von Zeppelin
August 14th, 2006 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

Sunday’s Mary Worth: (God help me! I can’t go a day anymore without reading it. I am becoming a pathetic addict. Six months from now I’ll be holding a cardboard sign at an intersection: “Will work for comic strips”) Anyway, it is interesting how Mary’s portion of food changes shape and size from panel to panel, while maintaining its unpleasant vomit color. Panel 3: a lumpy gelatinous blob. Panel 4: a folded extra-large flour tortilla, or possibly a dish towel. Panel 5: a hemispherical mound. Panel 7, an oozing mass with tentacle-like projections. She makes a hell of tuna casserole! Also, is she having coffee with tuna casserole, or does she just take her Night Train wine in a cup and saucer?

And that last panel– who among us has not chuckled at the zany adventures of Bathsheba Everdene in “Far from the Madding Crowd?”
AppleGirl
August 14th, 2006 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

#2: Hilarious animation, great job!

#11: I’m going with your long-lost weekend up at the lake with Lucy and Ted and a whole lot of tequila theory. Just because it helps me not hate Tommie.
Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
August 14th, 2006 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

I really like…
Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
August 14th, 2006 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

…the way Ted talks.
Fred P.
August 14th, 2006 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

So for a strip that goes eons and eons without much transpiring on the set, what’s up with today’s time-warp to “Mary ends her volunteer shift for the day”? Last time we saw her, she was curling up with a good book and a heaping plate’o'amorphous goo. Is that the end of the Aldo Kelrast storyline? She hangs up on him and that’s that? What a lame stalker he turned out to be! Still and all, even if we have gone on to the next storyline, I wouldn’t have suspected Mary to have finished her volunteer shift for, oh, say, three months or so.

oh, and the new Horace? two words- Wilford Brimley.
Chromium
August 14th, 2006 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

Jesus Christ, that is one ginormous heart coming out of John’s head. It’s understandable, though; who wouldn’t get turned on watching their wife scrapbooking?

I will admit that Elly’s shy expression in panel 3 is… OK, I can’t bring myself to say “cute,” but it’s nice. Like she hasn’t been talked to this way in years, and she’s enjoying feeling loved again. Ugh, I’m going to stop typing now.
Chromium
August 14th, 2006 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

Oh, and Smokey Stover pointed out in the last post that Shoe went completely off the rails today, and I feel it went sorely unnoticed. It’s pretty shocking.
catastrophile
August 14th, 2006 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

One week ago at wonkette.com, jumptheshark said to Josh:

“Please, please work Mary Worth in to these posts somehow… I really want to get your opinion on how long it will be till Aldo starts cutting himself in a ritualistic fashion in an effort to make Mary care about him.”

With today’s sudden scene change, that dream comes a little closer to reality.
Marc
August 14th, 2006 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

Catastrophile – You’re also on the Spamusement boards as well? I’m MP817 there…I just had that revelation.

As for Mary Worth – The story line ’tis not over til Ritzilla breaks more swans. I would love to see a recap of all the characters and how they would interact with each other. Who doesn’t laugh when they think about Stalkeraldo stalking on Jane Hand?
AwfulArt
August 14th, 2006 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

Stupid me was not aware Bob Thaves creator of “Frank & Ernest” had died 8/1/06 until reading “Candorville” today.. Darrin Bell showed some real class..!!
Dingo
August 14th, 2006 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

Scary but true: Mary Worth & Bea Arthur
Timothy Burke
August 14th, 2006 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

Doesn’t today’s Mary Worth make her look like Pol Pot or some other dictator being given a tour of the facilities of Her Great and Glorious Nation?
lenwhit
August 14th, 2006 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

Of course you have to be careful Tommie….otherwise he might feel you stealing his wallet!!!
Vince M.
August 14th, 2006 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

Old-artist Horace kind of looks like he’d be another face if you turned the picture upside-down.
jailbird
August 14th, 2006 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

#17 – Pinback, that sounds lovely. You can take me out anytime.
Kenny
August 14th, 2006 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

Anyone notice that Mary’s lookin’ a little chunkier in this entry? It’s probably all the tuna-caserole… Yes, all the tuna-caserole and impulsive eating due to you know… fearing for her life.
ben
August 14th, 2006 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

Dingo, what is it with you and links that go nowhere? That’s your second in a day.
Tony Stash
August 14th, 2006 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

the thing about this foob, besides what’s been mentioned, is that it isn’t speed dating; it’s speed inviting. Unless that last frame is them skipping all the stuff they just planned to go straight to bed.

EEEW! I think it’s the latter! EEEW!
catastrophile
August 14th, 2006 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

The link is fine — the flash file on the page seems to be missing, or else the server’s just refusing to serve it.

Marc: Yep, I’m catastrophile at Spamusement. I’ve been posting subject lines for a while, but didn’t do much there otherwise until my car broke down the other week and I was stuck at home. (That’s also when I found time to do this terrible, terrible thing.)
Poteet
August 14th, 2006 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

Actually, in regard to the Sunday Mark Trail ewwww, many if not most kinds of perching birds do the carry-the-fecal-sac-away-from-the-nest routine. But it’s a tidy odorless operation, compared to dealing with the average (blech) human diaper. And speaking of excrement, April in FBOFW is lucky to be cleaning horses instead of swine. As a rural Iowan, I can testify that horse manure smells like roses compared to pig exhaust.
King Folderol
August 14th, 2006 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

#24 – I had the same thought about JP, but I was thinking more along the lines of Wilfred Brimley coming down of alcoholic bender. The old version of this character cannot be compared to anyone…it’s like a clown who started taking off his makeup but had been wearing it for so long that he’ll never look like a real human being again.

GT – I think the pressure of being Evil Spock will get to a man after a while.

A3G – Sometimes the simplest explanation is the correct one.

This is the first time Tommie has ever felt a penis.
Kathryn
August 14th, 2006 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

The guy in the last two pannels of Judge Parker looks like Rex Morgan.
Dingo
August 14th, 2006 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

Dangitall, Ben. It seems that my web server isn’t allowing me to post Flash documents over 500kb. This new one just overreaches.

grrrrrrr…
ben
August 14th, 2006 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

Dingo, can’t YouTube help you?
Dingo
August 15th, 2006 at 12:15 am [Reply]

I don’t know if YouTube would accept it, Ben. I don’t have the copyright.

Here’s a new, smaller version of it. Mary Worth and Bea Arthur – separated at birth?
moe99
August 15th, 2006 at 1:29 am [Reply]

can it be that an entire week has passed and there is still a gun trained on Rex Morgan’s head? Whatever dramatic tension that might have been there is long gone…..
Scumbaggioni
August 15th, 2006 at 3:22 am [Reply]

Luann: I don’t remember under which post…but I called it! Not that it was all that difficult…or that anyone cares. Back to the hospital!

Sally Forth: Oooooo! I’m on a roll! Better yet, Sally and Ralph are finally going to go for each others’ throats.

PBS: Gag? Officially run into the ground. Move the hell on.

Mother Goose & Grimm: Oh, I LOVE this one.

Gasoline Alley: Geez Louise! Slim STILL refuses to acknowledge any fault of his own in the mess of the past few weeks. He SUCKS.

FOOB: Who’s the hidden character? The one shouting “trip!” and “bunt!”

The Born Loser: Dammit, we already have a Family Circus. Get your own gimmick.

Dick Tracy: Wait, maybe I didn’t go back far enough. …SHE? Dude, that’s Marlon Brando. Dick should be saying, “EEEEEEEEE! ZOMBIE!!” (And how can you be a marksman…um, okay, marksperson…if you don’t open your eyes?)
Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
August 15th, 2006 at 7:55 am [Reply]

Confession: As others have admitted, the sight of a disconsolate Marty Moon made me laugh aloud.
Sean-o
August 15th, 2006 at 8:59 am [Reply]

“bunt”? Another Canadian-ism? Someone must have compiled a dictionary somewhere…(she does look good covered in horse poop, however, Lynn’s little gift for the scat-o-philes)
mere cog in the machine
August 15th, 2006 at 9:16 am [Reply]

Fuck Luanne

Marry Margo

Kill Tommie
Wren Wah
August 15th, 2006 at 9:16 am [Reply]

Why is Tommie scampering around town with Scott Gaines? I thought Scotty was officially persona non grata in Apartment 3-G land. I mean first he disses poor dumbâ€¦Whatâ€™s that? His name is Ted? But he looks just like Sco…Oh I get it! Ted escaped from a pool of clones that rich boy Scott keeps around for spare body parts. Very clever.
EZ_e
August 15th, 2006 at 9:30 am [Reply]

tdiet – did anyone see yesterday’s, where he calls the car a ‘gas chariot’? Lousy horseless carriages, they’re taking over.
D.A. Pennington
August 15th, 2006 at 9:50 am [Reply]

FOOB: Nobody want’s to see Ellie’s “O” face?

Ooooh!

OOOOOHHHH!!!!!
SmartPeopleOnIce
August 15th, 2006 at 10:04 am [Reply]

MW (8/15): Who is Mary talking to in the first panel?

It’s Jack Napier, RN!

Apparently, the joker has fled Gotham City and got a haircut and a job.
Hogenmogen
August 15th, 2006 at 10:15 am [Reply]

51: EZ_e: 8/14’s TDIET wasn’t hilarious, but it got the job done. That says a lot for such a crappy strip. Kid takes care of car, but not his room. Could go the other way, too. They won’t do it every time, but this one is passable at least some of the time. “Gas chariot” is at least an interesting way to phrase it that doesn’t give away the fact that this guy has been hiding in a bomb shelter since the 1963 Cuban missile crisis.
Hogenmogen
August 15th, 2006 at 10:24 am [Reply]

What would be great on Gil Thorp is if those two kids at the golf course – Mandy and whassisname – (aka Nancy & Sluggo) decided to get back at Lanny (aka Ben Franklin) for hustling Marty Moon (aka Evil Spock). They tell Marty to go double or nothing, then swap Lanny’s balls with ones with an iron core that they control with magnets strapped to the back of gophers. They will also have a set up involving a vacuum cleaner in the hole that Marty is shooting for. They will train chipmunks to pelt Lanny with acorns right before his shot. That would be the mature way to handle it, anyway.
growler
August 15th, 2006 at 11:04 am [Reply]

“I thought I was sunk when my back siezed and you double-pressed. Good thing my short game came through!”

Was the homoeroticism way too obvious to comment on? Or perhaps you couldn’t even bring yourself to contemplate poor old Moon “settling up” with a little nineteenth hole action instead of cash.
tefflan
August 15th, 2006 at 11:07 am [Reply]

MT: Once you take the feet for ashtrays, the head for a wall display, the sex organs, heart, pancreas and liver for orientals who believe in old wives tales, the legs for an umbrella stand, the pelt for a rug in front of the fireplace, and the stomach for tripe, Mark and the gang shouldn’t really know WHAT the hell they were looking at.

FBOFW: Hmm. I think these people are about 40 years old judging from the size of their noses (nose size is an indicator of how old you are in the Foob world). I guess this guy figures that coming home drunk from a hockey game and demanding a piece of ass ain’t going to cut it this time. Very clever. This approach requires that you be romantic and inventive, but what the hell, men in the Foob world are all pantywaists who have had their manhood garroted at some point in their past, so it’s no big deal.
rich
August 15th, 2006 at 11:25 am [Reply]

Ouch, Tefflan, I misread MT for MW and thought you were saying Aldo was going to take Mary’s feet for ashtrays, head for a wall display, etc.!

(Oh, by the way, according to Foob Central, John is 57 and Ellie is almost 55.)
Catman2530
August 15th, 2006 at 11:36 am [Reply]

Josh…for the record, Eduardo Barreto is now using the same font that Harold LeDoux used for lettering Judge Parker. I think Barreto has been an upgrade on JP, as you have noted.
SmartPeopleOnIce
August 15th, 2006 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

I didn’t think it was physically possible, but Old-artist Horace is sad and gay.

[ with apologies to whatever I'm ripping this off from]
Smitty Q. Smedlap
August 15th, 2006 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

In that last panel, Marty Moon looks like a guy in a Chick tract who has just come to the realization that Jebus hates him.
Wren Wah
August 15th, 2006 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

Tefflan:
Yuck!! Sounds like what happened to my Honda when I left it parked in South Central. Poachers must be the Lost Forrest equivalent of the Crips.
lady penelope
August 15th, 2006 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

At first I was all excited about the prospect of a storyline. But when it turned out she wasn’t going to get drunk on Margo’s vodka martinis and make a pass at Luann (either crushingly embarrassing or triple-X successful), sorry, lost interest. (Not that I’ll quit reading, mind you, unless they kick Margo out).

If the professor were really so sage, he’d buy Tommie a vibrator and move the plot along for us.
lady penelope
August 15th, 2006 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

Of a tommie storyline, that is. See it before you say it, I know.
ohgrl
August 15th, 2006 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

hahaha Dingo, i finally got to see your Mary Worth animation. Brilliant!
2fs
August 15th, 2006 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

Has anyone else noticed that Aldo Kelrast looks like Captain Beefheart?
Key Lime Pie
August 16th, 2006 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

Where in the world is Aldo Kelrast?
Why did Mary’s tuna casserole look like a terra cotta shingle?
Why am I being served a killer dose of Mary’s altruism, with a side trip to Viagra Falls courtesy of her in-the-car musings about Dr. Jeff?
Dr. Jeff. Who, by the way, ought to be damn careful in that too-cheery third world clinic he’s doin’ time in because the natives look a little restless and have mutiny in their eyes.
Alek Hidell
August 16th, 2006 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

Newbie here, directed from Wolcott’s link. Please be gentle with me.

Now, first of all, I have to say I like FBOFR. Been reading it since Mike and Lizardbreath were toddlers. And, hey, I’ve always had a kind of MILF-feeling for Elly. So thinking of her in the sack isn’t that bad a thought (with John, though – ugh). ‘Course, now Elizabeth is starting to look good too. [Lecherous laugh]
BigJoe
August 17th, 2006 at 7:55 am [Reply]

68 – FBOFR – “For Better or For Ridiculing?” Actually that’s not a bad description.
Evey
August 17th, 2006 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

Ahhh!

Why doesn’t everyone want to rant about how stupid Mary Worth as much as I do?

Ohhh, isn’t she just the perfect old lady. She’s so well-rounded (baking tuna casserole, weeding the garden, volunteering at a hospital) and everyone likes her so much, and she’s so good at giving advice and…..ahh….AHHH….AHHHH! How could any one person be so annoying? And she’s not even real. She’s not even real!!! (starts crying softly to myself)
Grendell
August 18th, 2006 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

#61: That is so spot on. And gambling is nothing Jesus could love him for.

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