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Escalating sexual horror edition

Baldo, 9/20/06

Baldo is one of those strips that I like enough to read every day, but it’s almost never so exciting that it gets mentioned here. This week there’s some serious oddness going on, though, as the title teen attempts to romance a bottle of conditioner. It was weird enough when it happened yesterday; its recurrence today is starting to freak me out. The fact that Baldo’s hair retains its perfect shape even in the shower may go to show just how intimate he is with hair-styling products.

Beetle Bailey, 9/20/06

One of the odder recurring bits in Beetle Bailey is Beetle’s extremely intermittent relationship with Miss Buxley. Although they are occasionally seen going out together or even holding hands, they seem to be perpetually on a second or third date. This is to my knowledge the first time that Private Bailey has even tried to get to first base with the buxom secretary, and the dialogue around the attempt is particularly bizarre. I myself have never been in the army, but I did go to public school, and so I know a thing or two about old water fountains, and if Miss Buxley thinks that the techniques needed to get water out of one makes a man a “good kisser,” then she’s much, much kinkier than I ever gave her credit for.

Actually, the more I think about it, Miss Buxley is probably not complimenting Beetle for trying to suck her liver out through her windpipe by asking him if he’s a man-whore, but rather saw him coming at her face with his lips ludicrously extended and is trying to come up with something — anything — to say to distract him from his advances. This fits in better with their body language, in which he’s grabbing her by the elbows and she’s bracing herself against his chest, and with the fact that she’s way, way out of his league.

The Lockhorns, 9/20/06

don’t visualize it don’t visualize it don’t visuAAAARRRGGGH MY BRAIN MY BRAIN MY BRAIN

159 responses to “Escalating sexual horror edition”

  1. Beth
    September 20th, 2006 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    Baldo’s hair, to me, almost looks like David Bowie’s hair but Bowie’s hair is way cooler.

    I could be wrong though.

  2. Beasley
    September 20th, 2006 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    There’s a nice nudiepic of Miss Buxley you can find easily enough. This link may or may not work for you:

    http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:Bd6sy_9Ja1E-LM:http://sonofnostalgiazone.com/prodimages/MissBuxleyPrint.jpg

  3. Teague
    September 20th, 2006 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    But wait, look at how Mr. Lockhorn is cocking his eyebrow at her suggestion. Could this be the kinky turning of the tides in their misserable relationship?……or maybe he’s just thinking about getting intimate with his computer. Look at that sexy USB port.

  4. Beasley
    September 20th, 2006 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

    Oh, crap. I just now read that Lockorns panel…a bit too late. Now I will excuse myself to puke…..

  5. Ubiq
    September 20th, 2006 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

    Huh, I can’t decide if it’d be more or less pathetic for Baldo to use a seperate voice for “Angela”.

    What’s bizarre to me about the Beetle Bailey strip is that it was clearly “pucker” in the newspaper when I read it earlier, but here… well, it has an entirely different spin on it to say the last.

  6. Chromium
    September 20th, 2006 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

    The really creepy thing is that Baldo is apparently so into this roleplaying thing that he’s either a) talking for the bottle, or b) actually hearing the bottle talking to him. It’s interesting that don’t get to see what’s actually going on when Angela is speaking, kind of like an extremely twisted version of Calvin and Hobbes.

    Also, I think Baldo is engaging in some serious nipple stimulation in the last panel.

  7. micah
    September 20th, 2006 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

    Am I the only one who thought Baldo was talking to a severed head?

    …never mind

  8. mooselet
    September 20th, 2006 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

    Are you sure that’s a conditioner bottle?? Looks like the disembodied head on a manequin, which is infinately more disturbing than talking to a bottle. Does he keep it on a pillow in his room, does he buy it gifts?

    As for the Lockhorns… oh hell no. Nonononono and NO!!!

  9. reader-who-posts
    September 20th, 2006 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

    More information about kissing can be found on the internet.

  10. Beasley
    September 20th, 2006 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

    Oh, crap. It IS a ‘head’ he’s dealing with!

    /Freudian slip?

  11. Mooncity
    September 20th, 2006 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

    Yes, Loretta. You used to be Leroy’s laptop… back when 5 1/4″ floppy discs were still sexy.

    Yes, I said “discs”. I purposely avoided smutty “hard drive” references, or mentioning the “PARK” command…

  12. Other_Sally
    September 20th, 2006 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

    Beth, nothing can be cooler than Bowie! Except maybe Ian MacKaye. But Bowie still has the better hair.

    I don’t know whether to laugh or to cry at Beetle Bailey. Laugh, because the idea of someone considering a grade-school pucker “good kissing,” or cry because some 10-year old boy reading this strip might actually use this strip for future tips. And boys already kiss too much like water fountains.

  13. the angry black woman
    September 20th, 2006 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

    MW: Aldo has the tolerance of a sailor. he made it all the way out to where there are trees and cliffs without running over a small child or Toby.

  14. inversed
    September 21st, 2006 at 12:12 am [Reply]

    First, I have to say, Beth: You are never, ever wrong when proclaiming David Bowie’s ultimate coolness or sexiness. There is no one cooler or sexier than him. It’s a mathematical property: f(bowie)=(sexiness)^2(coolness)^10 / P(anyone is sexier and/or cooler than bowie)

    Second: I’m mostly a lurker here (I think I’ve posted once) but I have to post because I have had *three* dreams about ALDO KELRAST (not like that, you pervs). THREE! What the hell?! This is serious, people. Mostly, I’m just discussing his stalker behavior with others, but last night my subconscious invented a niece of Aldo’s who was trying to convince me that he wasn’t that bad, despite his weirdo mustache.

    I need help.

  15. Colleen
    September 21st, 2006 at 12:12 am [Reply]

    Why is it that the Tradam left June almost completely unplussed, while having to cancel her credit cards leaves her outraged? Sure, her husband’s lover has run away, but what really matters is that she can no longer buy Harlequin romance novels on ebay to quell her pain

  16. Cornwhacker
    September 21st, 2006 at 12:19 am [Reply]

    June Morgan: not a Plugger.

  17. lesles
    September 21st, 2006 at 12:23 am [Reply]

    just want to let people know that what aldo’s been chugging on is actually bundy (bundaberg rum) – a fine drop of jet fuel out of queensland. the bottle and label give it away clear as day.

    i think aldo’s reference to “johnny” is his demented personalisation of the bogan polar bear mascot that advertises the stuff, though down here he’s known as “bundy bear”.

  18. GeoX
    September 21st, 2006 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    Way back in the day, when Beetle Bailey was a comic book, he actually had an intermittently-seen girlfriend, “Bunny.” Struth.

  19. MJ1066
    September 21st, 2006 at 12:39 am [Reply]

    Thursday: Now Baldo has *two* talking bottles of shampoo. This is getting weirder and weirder.

  20. mfdshan
    September 21st, 2006 at 12:40 am [Reply]

    GF 9/21
    Some of us are going to need this while Bucky’s cousin is in town…

    http://www.peevish.co.uk/slang/index.htm

  21. 2fs
    September 21st, 2006 at 12:45 am [Reply]

    Okay, you know that Ray Charles song “Lonely Avenue”? I keep hearing it as performed by Aldo and the Naysayers… Aldo’s singing about how he’s trying, he’s trying, he’s trying to get to Mary – and the damned Naysayers backing chorus keeps coming back with “you’d better not!” (FWIW, I hear Aldo as having a sort of gritty yet nerdy voice. Professor Chinbeard has a resonant but rather out-of-tune baritone, Toby tries to do the soul-chick thing but ends up closer to Alanis Morissette, and Wilbur…oh dear: Wilbur’s nasality makes Pere Ubu’s David Thomas sound like the rumbling, chesty Voice of God.)

    A bit of sampling, and someone with a talented voice to do all four parts… Not sure what the revised lyrics should be yet.

  22. Canaduck
    September 21st, 2006 at 12:49 am [Reply]

    Baldo appears to be feeling himself up, too. C’mon, kid, the bottle of conditioner is NOT that good-looking.

    It does look a little like a disembodied head, though.

  23. 2fs
    September 21st, 2006 at 12:50 am [Reply]

    #20: Did you realize the author of your slang guide is named…Ted Duckworth? (I think that’s Mallard Fillmore’s gay cousin – who never appears in the strip…)

  24. treedweller
    September 21st, 2006 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    Do you suppose that was how he held his hand when she was his laptop?

  25. miss alexandra.
    September 21st, 2006 at 1:25 am [Reply]

    omg at today’s garfield.

  26. miss alexandra.
    September 21st, 2006 at 1:26 am [Reply]

    that is, if you have a burning curiousity about jon arbuckle’s sex life.

  27. AppleGirl
    September 21st, 2006 at 2:20 am [Reply]

    I don’t know what’s more “ew.” Beetle Bailey’s puckered lips or Leroy’s laptop.

    In the meantime, what a wild ride Aldo’s taking us on! Whoo-hoo! Almost ran that guy in the Miata off the road! Hahahaha! Aldo, you are sooo out of your league with Mary Worth, because you are sooo much more awesome than she is. Faster, pussycat!!!

  28. AppleGirl
    September 21st, 2006 at 2:33 am [Reply]

    Um sorry about that. Drinking and driving is wrong, kids.

    It’s just that I love reckless guys who don’t mind spending their cash. Any guy who begins a lost weekend with a fifth of Johnnie Walker GOLD… well, I’m just sayin.

  29. Doug Puthoff
    September 21st, 2006 at 3:27 am [Reply]

    Okay, we know Aldo is drinking and driving. We could’ve assume that from Monday’s strip. NOW ADVANCE THE FRIGGING STORYLINE!!

  30. LB
    September 21st, 2006 at 4:15 am [Reply]

    25 + 26 : i think Garfield meant that Liz has seen HIM naked.. you know the whole thing about how Liz is Garfield’s vet, so just like a doctor-patient relationship (where doctors have seen their patients naked…for some reason) but ha ha see how Garfield is a cat and he’s already naked?..And his bewildered bug-eyed expression is because he’s embarrassed Liz has seen him naked but hes naked all the time?
    I totally hope that I got that right. Cause I really don’t want to allude to Jon Arbuckle’s sex life.

    Baldo: I thought he was covering his nipples like how objects are strategically placed in front of people’s bits in TV shows and PG-movies. So, just as women’s titties are un-PGlike for the comics page, I would imagine a female Baldo covering them like so. But does censorship prohibit exposing male nipples??????
    If it doesn’t, then Baldo has some serious sexuality questioning to do ….

  31. TB Tabby
    September 21st, 2006 at 4:54 am [Reply]

    And people were horrified by the thought of Sally and Ted Forth making love.

  32. adlithium
    September 21st, 2006 at 5:11 am [Reply]

    I don’t know what’s wrong with me today but today’s Garfield made me laugh. I spent, like 10 minutes afterwards wondering how I’d let myself get this way.

    And then I re-read it and I laughed again.

  33. Von Zeppelin
    September 21st, 2006 at 5:35 am [Reply]

    29 Doug–Aldo is not only drinking and driving, he is simultaneously drinking, driving, and talking to himself. The man is a multitasking phenomenon.

    MT–Speaking of multitasking, notice the “Oh, shit” expression on Andy the St. Bernard’s face as he and Molly are swept down a waterfall, after plummeting over a cliff while being shot at and beset by vicious Labrador retrievers.

  34. flatlinecat
    September 21st, 2006 at 6:09 am [Reply]

    Speaking of sexual tension, my mind came to a full stop when I saw today’s Garfield. Whaaaa??? When Garfield says “Its hard to be friends with someone who’s seen you naked” I was thinking something like this Medium Large, but then I remembered she’s a veteranarian. Whew!

  35. yudantaiteki
    September 21st, 2006 at 6:10 am [Reply]

    #32 – I was going to post the exact same thing. I think this is the first time Garfield has made me laugh since I read the very early strips in the collection books.

  36. Richard Onley
    September 21st, 2006 at 6:36 am [Reply]

    #30: “does censorship prohibit exposing male nipples??????”

    There was a time when editors objected to Miss Buxley exposing her navel. Whenever she appeared in a bikini, they’d Liquid Paper it over. Mort Walker got around that by drawing her with two, only one of which would routinely be removed. The censors got to take something out, Miss Buxley still had a navel, and everybody was happy.

  37. smacky
    September 21st, 2006 at 6:41 am [Reply]

    Don’t drink and drive kids, but do enjoy Aldo antics from the safety of your home. Three awesome things to note:

    (1) Aldo makes no effort to hide the bottle, no paper bag or wedging the bottle between his legs for him. Nope, Aldo holds it like he’s doing a commercial for Johnnie Walker.

    (2) Aldo takes long swigs with his eyes shut. His motto is “Hey, if you’re gonna drink, drink.” Like his stalking, Aldo never does anything half-assed.

    (3) You have to smile when Aldo says (out loud), “This is more like it!” Who among us hasn’t experienced that first soft glow of false confidence that comes from angry binge drinking?

  38. Richard Onley
    September 21st, 2006 at 6:44 am [Reply]

    #32: “I don’t know what’s wrong with me today but today’s Garfield made me laugh. I spent, like 10 minutes afterwards wondering how I’d let myself get this way.
    “And then I re-read it and I laughed again.”

    Let’s laugh while we can–I suspect the neutering jokes are soon due to arrive en masse.

  39. Woodrowfan
    September 21st, 2006 at 7:03 am [Reply]

    She was his laptop when he still enjoyed her twin floppies and multiple gameports. Very user friendly so long as his hardrive was working. And in the end there was the GUI interface…

  40. Bill
    September 21st, 2006 at 7:10 am [Reply]

    #15: She knows that when she calls to cancel them, she’s going to have to deal with the snotty customer service rep who wants to know if she authorized all those calls to the “man-service” chat lines.

  41. yellojkt
    September 21st, 2006 at 7:27 am [Reply]

    Baldo’s hair products ménage à trois is the most awkward solo sex shower scene since the opening shot of American Beauty.

  42. Sheila
    September 21st, 2006 at 7:43 am [Reply]

    Speaking of “lips ludicrously extended”, I’ve been meaning for some time to comment on that BIZARRE facial expression often seen in Foxtrot. All of those characters have giant rounded heads, and when they pooch their lips out like that, it always reminds me of the knot tied at the bottom of a big round balloon. The expression evokes, I dunno, a sort of self-satisified pensiveness. I don’t know if that’s what’s intended. It’s not an expression found in nature.

  43. Smitty Q. Smedlap
    September 21st, 2006 at 7:52 am [Reply]

    Leroy Lockhorn looks like he’s preparing to administer the “shocker.” If, in fact, such a feat can be accomplished with only three fingers and a thumb.

  44. Smitty Q. Smedlap
    September 21st, 2006 at 7:53 am [Reply]

    Oh, and meanwhile, over in (dt)GT land — it’s football season, but where’s the Brickhouse?

  45. Craigers
    September 21st, 2006 at 7:53 am [Reply]

    9/21 : Garfield has totally blown my mind. Is Jim Davis taking monkey glands or something? The last strip in the world I ever expected to generate a breath of fresh air, and here it is. Still, the thought of Garfield watching Jon and his dark lovely knockin’ boots – when he and Jon seem to have endless conversations – is pretty bizarre. Best not to think about it, or Ceiling Cat is going to make an appearance.

  46. EZ_e
    September 21st, 2006 at 7:54 am [Reply]

    “NOW ADVANCE THE FRIGGING STORYLINE!!” Sheer blasphemy, this is Mary Worth, dammit. Expect at least two more weeks of Aldo in a car drinking.
    Aload’s line about knowing Mary is out of his league – wow. almost makes you feel sorry for him

  47. Craigers
    September 21st, 2006 at 8:14 am [Reply]

    Best not to think about it, or Ceiling Cat is going to make an appearance.

    OK, how weird is it that I mention Ceiling Cat on a day that Marmaduke is… well… apparently referencing Ceiling Cat?

  48. Craigers
    September 21st, 2006 at 8:16 am [Reply]

    Let’s try that again…

    OK, how weird is it that I mention Ceiling Cat on a day that Marmaduke is… well… apparently referencing Ceiling Cat?

  49. TheMagicMel
    September 21st, 2006 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    Beth & Inversed: A day without Bowie is like a day without oxygen. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one obsessed. I’m also glad to see my condition described in mathmatical form.

    Baldo definitely does not have a ‘screwed down hair-do, like some cat from Japan.’

  50. TheMagicMel
    September 21st, 2006 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    Ah, I was so excited about The Man that I forgot to comment on Lockhorns.

    No. No, no, no, no no no no, really. just. no.

  51. Frank Drackman
    September 21st, 2006 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    More information on ‘The Shocker” can be found on the internet.

  52. Harry Mirth
    September 21st, 2006 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    Alpo is just not good enough for Mary.

    Hopefully he can get some platitudes from her that will turn his life around. Then she can introduce him to someone who will be a much better match for him.

    Ritazilla.

  53. TurtleBoy
    September 21st, 2006 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    Okay, this has been bugging me for the last few Mark Trail strips that have featured our hero (9/15, 9/18), and it happened again today (9/21)…where in the great green Earth is Mark in relation to the Lego-haired chicken-kicker’s posse/beleaguered bear? Elrod’s given no clue as to his whereabouts, but he seems to be pretty involved in the action…he could be viewing the scene clairvoyantly for all we can tell.

    “Mark, what is it?”

    “I sense a strange disturbance in the force…”

  54. johnw
    September 21st, 2006 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    Not only do Baldo’s bottles resemble disembodied heads… they resemble physically abused disembodied heads. Note the bruising around the eyes. He’s using haircare products as the focus of his frustrated sexual urges — and his Columbine impulses as well.

    9/21 A3G: Apparently Margo is planning to, er, ahem, practice her puckering skills on Eric Mills.

    JP: Speaking of images to get out of your brain in a hurry… Raju and three teenage girls about to indulge in a menage-a-quatre in one of those little changing booths. See: a knowledge of inventory control is even better than TAG body spray for makin’ the girls go wild.

    MT: Mark suddenly hears SHOTS! But Hoyt already got off several rounds before Molly and the pooch did their cliff-dive. How did our noble hero fail to hear the earlier blasts?

    Popeye: If we needed any confirmation that this lame storyline is a decades-old rerun from the Sagendorf era, this is it: two classic hoboes in full regalia! One of the great stereotypes of a long-lost age of American illustration.

  55. Randy
    September 21st, 2006 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    FBFW: Only a Patterson could be saintly enough to remeber the good in a stuck up, teeny-bopper star who is willing to acknowledge the existence of lesser mortals only when she needs them (i.e. she realizes she’s too stupid to do her own homework).

    Wise up, April! Help someone who might appreciate it! Aldo Kelrast needs you!

  56. MaryAnnTheRest
    September 21st, 2006 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    Oh, Aldo!! How well we know the feeling that Mary Worth is out of our league. But whiskey won’t help, trust me on this. Aldomania rules!!!

    On a sadder note, I found myself nodding in agreement at today’s TDIET. Well, except for the “five and dime” reference. Still, I have a creepy feeling that when I’m in my eighties, I’ll be clipping out TDIET’s and posting them to my fridge. *shudder*

  57. wendyinflight
    September 21st, 2006 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    I realize that I will go straight to hell for this, but if Aldo, in his drunken stupor crashes into Dr. Jeff returning from his overseas I’m-a-saint trip….. I will laugh and laugh and laugh.

  58. Cornwhacker
    September 21st, 2006 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    Alas, young Baldo. It’s only a matter of time before he drops the ‘B’ from his name and attempts those lines on ladies out of his league.

    But by then he won’t be so “manageably smooth”.

  59. Woodrowfan
    September 21st, 2006 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    Wendy: so say we all!

  60. yellojkt
    September 21st, 2006 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    MaryAnnTheRest (#56):

    If you substitute “dollar store” for “five and dime” in today’s TDIET, you have a joke that is almost funny in this century.

  61. bootsybooks
    September 21st, 2006 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    #12 – “Boys already kiss like water fountains”.

    I laughed and laughed at that.

    Baldo – don’t follow this strip,but I thought he was doing his own voice throughout. I thought Baldo was the one who preferred men smooth and irresistible. Was I wrong?

    #21 2fs – Ray Charles may have covered “Lonely Avenue” but it was written by the incomparable Doc Pomus.

    #29 – Doug, Doug Doug. Calm down. This is as fast as it gets. Days of Aldo in his Chevy K car slugging whisky and driving around, while Mary wonders if they did the right thing. They never do.

  62. Craigers
    September 21st, 2006 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    a knowledge of inventory control is even better than TAG body spray for makin’ the girls go wild.

    This is actually true in the real world as well. (“Brian, I’m gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.”)

    by then he won’t be so “manageably smooth”.

    For some reason, this conjured for me the mental image of a naked and totally hairless Aldo Kelrast. I must now go clean the inside of my skull with a wire brush.

  63. Craigers
    September 21st, 2006 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    #12… boys already kiss too much like water fountains.

    Too much? Bah. We know how much you love those slurping sounds.

  64. Matthew
    September 21st, 2006 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    #17 It’s obviously Johnnie Walker Red, except the colorists screwed up the label color. (The small label on the neck is the wrong shape for it to be JW Gold or Blue, and if it were Black, the inker would probably have filled it in with black.)

    It is amusing though to think that he’s sprung for some Johnnie Walker Gold for his little binge (and doubtless purge).

  65. Matthew
    September 21st, 2006 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    Okay, I just looked at yesterdays TDIET and howzat? He’s gotta store stuff on the treadmill because – oh yeah – he’s storing his dead wife’s corpse in the closet.

  66. Pozzo
    September 21st, 2006 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    Okay, if Beetle and Miss Buxley go there, will he take off his hat? Also, how will he hide the bruises covering his 90% of his body from the daily beatings Sarge gives him?

  67. Poteet
    September 21st, 2006 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    #14 — Inversed, I sympathize, because my dreams have definitely gotten weirder since I found this website. Good luck with Aldo’s niece. Does she have his hairdo?

    #42 — Sheila, thank you. I have stared at those FOXTROT extended lips, trying to figure out how that expression could be described in words. Another sign that I’m going round the bend. But “self-satisfied pensiveness” is good.

    #53 & 54 — I hope that if/when Andy and Molly manage to save themselves with no help from Mark, and after he finally ambles along in his leisurely fashion and finds them, they’ll each take a bite out of him.

  68. Brucker
    September 21st, 2006 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    RE: Garfield
    Perverts! I really don’t think Davis meant to go there, and in fact, in reading the strip this morning, I laughed at it without even thinking about it that way. See, your doctor has seen you naked, so it can feel awkward to meet them outside of the office, right? So Davis is riffing on that concept in a lightly ironic fashion that, although falling far short of comedic genius, is above-par for a Garfield strip.

    But then, who am I to criticize? Apparently I was the only one following Baldo’s romantic feelings towards hygeine products in the shower and thinking, “Oh yes, high school… I remember those romantic showers for one…” Okay, ’nuff said.

    Craigers: Ceiling Cat?!?! WTF is that?

  69. Brucker
    September 21st, 2006 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    Actually, I was going to come in and comment on the Newsweek “Blogwatch” mention, but I see others commented on it yesterday. I guess I’m curious to ask Josh what sort of surge he gets in his traffic this week as a result of that.

    Josh?

  70. Sheila
    September 21st, 2006 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    You know what totally doesn’t work about that Garfield gag is, what the heck is he talking about with a “naked” cat? I mean, I take my kitties to the vet all the time, and they don’t get especially naked for it. Does Garfield take his collar off in the examining room? His fur? (Does the vet shave him?) Or did he maybe have an operation so she was like totally looking at his entrails? Or what?

    Oh, forget it. Bottom line, the gag doesn’t work! Count me with the people who first read it as the VET being naked… though I find it hard to believe even a huge-eyeballed Jim Davis chick would get naked in front of Jon…

  71. Paul James
    September 21st, 2006 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    JP on 9/20: in the last panel, what is up with Raju and his slightly sinister way of holding his hands up, fingertips touching and his face filled with smugness. He looks like Dr.Evil. I wonder is Raju going to be up to something?

  72. Hogenmogen
    September 21st, 2006 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    #12… boys already kiss too much like water fountains

    No, I never tongue a water fountain.

  73. Hogenmogen
    September 21st, 2006 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    #64 – Matthew – I’m inclined to think that it is Johnnie Walker Gold, but Johnnie comes in clear bottles, and Aldo’s bottle is all brown. I bet that’s just the color guy/gal who doesn’t know fine liquor. And – Johnnie Walker Red isn’t exactly rotgut. Try Kentucky Gentleman – I was getting some for a bourbon ball recipie last Christmas, and some soot covered guy who looked like Fencepost Frank looks at me and says “Man, that stuff is HARSH.”

  74. Hogenmogen
    September 21st, 2006 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    A3G: Eric Mills has scheduled both Margo and Luann for a 10:00 meeting. Margo thinks that means Luann will have to wait. Margo, wise up! He’s into a menage a trois, like pretty much everyone who has read A3G in the past 40 years.

  75. Fred P.
    September 21st, 2006 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    This Garfield would have been totally funnier if Garfield was thinking “It’s hard to be friends with the vet who fixed me” instead of that stupid naked crap.

  76. Scoopernicus
    September 21st, 2006 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    What ever happned to Beetle Bailey’s girlfriend Betty? At least I think her name was Betty. At one time I believe all of the women in Beetle Bailey had names beginning with ‘B’. This is the basis of my thoery that Beetle is actually a wounded soldier in Da Nang in 1973, and the strips are nothing more than his fevered imaginings as he dies, a la Jacob’s Ladder.

  77. Sheila
    September 21st, 2006 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    Bunny, not Betty. He used to turn up on her doorstep with chocolates or flowers.

  78. Hogenmogen
    September 21st, 2006 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    Lockhorns (above): I like the way Leroy’s expression hasn’t moved, other than the “Woman person is talking – must raise eyebrows as if paying attention…”

    The next panel would show the infinite horror of what Loretta has implied sinking in.

    Tomorrow’s strip, the couple is not enjoying their crappy breakfast, and with bloodshot eyes half opened, Leroy says something to the effect of “Sure, I want to die, but I want you to die a thousand deaths, you evil, miserable scourge.

  79. Scoopernicus
    September 21st, 2006 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    Way back in the day, when Beetle Bailey was a comic book, he actually had an intermittently-seen girlfriend, “Bunny.” Struth.

    Bunny! Damn, that was it.

    Thanks GeoX. I should read the comments before posting.

  80. Matthew
    September 21st, 2006 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    #75 – Fred P – you are 100% correct.

  81. Scoopernicus
    September 21st, 2006 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    Bunny, not Betty. He used to turn up on her doorstep with chocolates or flowers.

    Ah yes, corrected again.

  82. TheChemist
    September 21st, 2006 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    LOOK OUT, MARY! Aldo is on a collision course with your guilt-ridden conscience!

    And I just can’t look away…

  83. GodWithFire
    September 21st, 2006 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    TDIET: This comic appears to operate on a slightly different timeline, where the 1950s never quite ended. Yet a few of the advances the rest of us have enjoyed over the past 50+ years remain. As such, people watch large-screen televisions that still routinely need new “tubes,” and, as today’s strip reveals, autos haven’t changed much at all from 1955, other than adopting rectangular headlights. One can imagine other TDIET past/present hybrids: Cell phones with rotary dials; digital watches that operate mechanically; satellite TV that consists of only three channels; space shuttles that use propellers. You get the idea.

    Oh Yeah!

  84. snarkworth
    September 21st, 2006 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    #70 Sheila, on the subject of naked cats: Didn’t Bucky Katt moon someone out the window a few months ago? How can a cat “moon”?

  85. cheech wizard
    September 21st, 2006 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    Bunny was Beetle’s gf for a long time, in the newspaper as well as in comic books. She finally dumped him after he gave her a case of the Asian Black Clap he picked up from a Vietnamese hooker.

    There was also the little issue with his drinking and the PTSD nightmares. Beetle would wake up screaming in the middle of the night, thinking Bunny was the body of a bud who fell on top of him after getting cut in half by a VC .50 cal during the Tet Offensive. That’s why you don’t see Rocky in the strip anymore. Beetle’d damn near throw her halfway across the room trying to get her off him. Then he’d hit the floor and start crawling through the darkened house looking for the Cong. Too bad her cocker spaniel was sleeping in the hallway.

  86. Frank Drackman
    September 21st, 2006 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    “Bunny” was also Sgt Carters girlfriend on “Gomer Pyle USMC”. Gomers gf was “Luanne Poovie”. Sgt Carter never beat Gomer though, he just held his anger in so that he died of a heart attack shortly after the show was canceled.

  87. tefflan
    September 21st, 2006 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    “Lockhorns Better Captions” (patent pending):

    Mrs Lockhorn: “I remember when you wanted ME to be your laptop.”

    Mr. Lockhorn: “And I remember when you wanted ME to be your bassoon.”

    Hey Kids! Wouldn’t it be cool to learn more about bassoons? Bassoonists can be real crowd pleasers and make extra cash, even when they’re NOT playing their instruments. For more information, check the internet or visit your local public library. A public service announcement from “Lockhorns Better Captions,” 2006, all rights reserved.

  88. Gershwin
    September 21st, 2006 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    Didn’t Gomer and Bunny once have a date, though? She was impressed because he didn’t put the moves on her–he truly did want only to gaze up at the stars at Inspiration Point…

  89. David C
    September 21st, 2006 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    #70 – You know what totally doesn’t work about that Garfield gag is, what the heck is he talking about with a “naked” cat?

    That *is* the joke here – basically “See, Garfield’s been so human-ized that he’s having a human-style ‘shame’ reaction, and forgetting that he’s a cat who doesn’t even *wear* clothes!”

    It’s not a great gag, but that’s what Davis was going for. It made me chuckle a bit.

  90. rich
    September 21st, 2006 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    Garfield: Doesn’t everyone see Garfield naked?

    Baldo: Judging from her appearance, Baldo’s dream girl is Marcia Wallace from The Bob Newhart Show.

  91. tefflan
    September 21st, 2006 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    Ten bucks says Aldo drives off of a cliff and ends up in the hospital. Then Mary, who works in a hospital, has to take care of him and also feels guilty for letting Moe, Larry and Curly run an intervention on him. That ought to fill up about the next two years of Mary Worth comic panels.

  92. Major Disaster
    September 21st, 2006 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    Didn’t Gomer and Bunny once have a date, though? She was impressed because he didn’t put the moves on her–he truly did want only to gaze up at the stars at Inspiration Point…

    Gomer didn’t put the moves on her because it was Sgt. Carter he wanted up there.

    Sigh.

    And he was all starched up and spit shined.

  93. Biblio
    September 21st, 2006 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    Judging from the shape of the bottle in today’s MW, I’d say Aldo is hitting the Worcestershire Sauce pretty hard. Maybe he’s trying to marinate himself to death?

  94. TB Tabby
    September 21st, 2006 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    Not pictured: Baldo’s horrified scream when his date’s hair and facial features melt off under the running shower head.

  95. tefflan
    September 21st, 2006 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    #93 Biblio: I really can’t explain it, but your reference to Worcestershire Sauce caught me off guard and I ended up laughing so hard that a bunch of people came over to see if I was all right here at work. I was just barely able to emergency click to a work-related site before they got to my office. Many thanks for the laugh.

  96. Ouish
    September 21st, 2006 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    So Liz is a vet? That would explain her lips. She wanted collagen injections but discovered that a plastic surgeon would be too expensive, so she got them done by a veterinarian, probably the sphincter specialist who was giving the lecture the other night.

  97. Marion Delgado
    September 21st, 2006 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    Remember, you can’t write bALDO without ALDO!

  98. Sheila
    September 21st, 2006 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    #89, David C: So, wait, the “joke” is that the cat is having a human-style reaction — to something that hasn’t taken place.

    Huh?

    That’s just too much of a stretch for me.

  99. Albatross
    September 21st, 2006 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    I keep expecting Baldo to say “Do you like dance music? Ss-ss-ss-ungh-ss-ungh-ss-ungh…” (sorry, inside joke for AM radio listeners.)

    But WHO CARES about any of that? There’s finally a new The Pain Comics! Yay!

  100. bootsybooks
    September 21st, 2006 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    #68, Brucker, see Craigers’ #47 and click on the ceiling cat. You will know the stuff of nightmares.

    Not that I care if anyone sees my masturbating, but a cat sticking outta my ceiling freaks me out!

    I have a very big dog, who coincidentally looks a lot like Molly Minibear, and like Molly does not understand all the hostility from cats when she chases them.

  101. Reid
    September 21st, 2006 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    I think that is the first time we’ve ever had that kind of sexual abandonment discussed from the female perspective in The Lockhorns. She’s had to sit idly by as his drunken ass wears the lampshade and hits on the blonde girl half his age at least once a week, in the oldest recurring gag since Dagwood made a sandwich too big to eat.

    You know who would make a good third party in the love triangle? Rhymes with PAL-do, that’s who.

    http://www.reidaboutit.com

  102. Zikar
    September 21st, 2006 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    Ok, did nobody else enjoy the look of sheer horror Raju had at the mere thought of being naked? For someone who wants a girlfriend so bad, he doesn’t seem too gung-ho about it…

  103. Roonil
    September 21st, 2006 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    We always say our dog is “naked” whenever we take off her collar – however, now that I think about it, the vet doesn’t usually take off her collar.

  104. brendan
    September 21st, 2006 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    I find it very easy to be friends with someone who’s seen me naked.

    It usually means we’ve just finished having sex.

    As for Baldo, I hope no one elsee in the family uses that bottle of conditioner. You don’t know WHAT he was using it for, but clearly not in his hair (the hair on his head, I mean).

    For all th Baldo family knows, Baldo may have -ew- relieved his sexual tension INTO the bottle.

  105. Junior Tracy
    September 21st, 2006 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    Josh-

    You’ve posted three profoundly disturbing comics.

    Baldo (which I can honestly say I had never heard of) appears to be having a Norman Bates-like exchange with what you suggest is his conditioner bottle. In keeping with the demented nature of the conversation, however, I think it’s more likely to be one of Angela’s severed extremities.

    The image of Beetle Bailey (a) learning to kiss using a drinking fountain; or (b) actually kissing someone is freaky in the extreme. Further, based on her expression, Ms. Buxley is (contrary to your assessment) asking for it. We can only hope that Beetle’s extended romp with Ms. Buxley (satisfying, temporarily, her uniform fetish) is sufficiently long to get him declared a deserter, so that the remaining awful years of this strip will take place in the stockade.

    Finally, it’s bad enough for Hoeste / Reiner / whatever their names are to suggest that the Lockhorns were ever physically intimate in any way – you certainly don’t have to give the matter wider exposure.

  106. Eric
    September 21st, 2006 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    Oh dear god, is Leroy looking at porn wirelessly now?

    I reiterate that I am extemely uncomfortable with the idea of Leroy being on the same internet that I am. Can we create a separate internet just for him, please?

  107. SmartPeopleOnIce
    September 21st, 2006 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    #76 This is the basis of my thoery that Beetle is actually a wounded soldier in Da Nang in 1973, and the strips are nothing more than his fevered imaginings as he dies, a la Jacob’s Ladder.

    Given the age of the strip, I think Miss Buxley would be about Mary’s age by now, which got me thinking along similiar lines: Beetle Bailey is actually a depiction of what Mary Worth dreams at night.

    You know, remembering the good ole’ days when she was a vibrant civil servant at Camp Swampy. …What was that nice young man’s name again? Bebble? Beater? Alas, he done got himself killed when the Rebs blowed up Petersburg.

  108. Different Dan
    September 21st, 2006 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    Craigers: I had some fun with the comparison.

    http://img243.imageshack.us/img243/8345/ceilingdogpl6.gif

  109. SmartPeopleOnIce
    September 21st, 2006 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    In other news:

    I suppose recaptioning this “plugger bath” would be too depressing, even for pluggers.

    Speaking of depressing: What really pushed Sylvia Plath over the edge….

  110. Scaduto Youth
    September 21st, 2006 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    My grandfather was a big Lockhorns fan; I’m kind of glad he’s not alive to see this.

  111. Bill James
    September 21st, 2006 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    #107: Not to be too picky (this is a comics site after all), but it was not the rebs that blew up Petersburg, it was a Union attempt to break their lines that blew up a portion of Petersburg. Failed badly, by the way, as a lot of Union soldiers were slaughter in the “Battle” of the Crater.

  112. NightRaven
    September 21st, 2006 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    A couple of mildly amusing links here:
    I found this page where various artists contribute to making the strip “Arbuckle”, where Garfield strips are redrawn in a more realistic style, removing the thought balloons as well:
    http://www.tailsteak.com/arbuckle/index.php?date=910328

    And, looking up Rex Morgan on Uncyclopedia, turned up this little gem, a short history of Rex Morgan through the eighties….:
    http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/History_of_Rex_Morgan%2C_M.D._%281980-1989%29

  113. anne
    September 21st, 2006 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    re 70.: though I find it hard to believe even a huge-eyeballed Jim Davis chick…

    My tired brain read “.. a huge-balled Jim Davis…”

    DO NOT WANT TO THINK ABOUT THE BALLS OF JIM DAVIS OR ANY OF HIS “CHICKS”

    People seem so perplexed by the “humor” in that strip (Garfield is naked, wait he’s a cat he’s always naked, wait who is naked, etc.) but isn’t this what we’ve come to expect from Garfield lo these many years? I’m almost ashamed to say I collected the Garfield books when they came out back when I was a youngun. Ha-ha! A cat who eats lasagna!!! That is rich!

  114. lesles
    September 21st, 2006 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    ok … so … garfield’s got no problem with the fact that liz is the person who does the whole uninvited arse/thermometer thing on him, but he’s totally freaked that she’s seen his furry little nads hanging out? hmm.

  115. Cornwhacker
    September 21st, 2006 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    I guess what we’ve learned, then:
    internet savvy Lockhorns = scary
    internet savvy Marmaduke = awesome

    who’da thunk?

  116. Sheila
    September 21st, 2006 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    114, Lesles: his furry little nads hanging out… Wait, Garfield’s not fixed????

  117. Biblio
    September 21st, 2006 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    Ok music lovers, have I got a treat for you…direct from the Charterstone patio, it’s the platitudinous song stylings of Mary Worth and the Naysayers

  118. bootsybooks
    September 21st, 2006 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    #109 – spoi – what really pushed Sylvia Plath over the edge: Ted Hughes

  119. Richard Onley
    September 21st, 2006 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    #64: “It is amusing though to think that he’s sprung for some Johnnie Walker Gold for his little binge (and doubtless purge).”

    I hope I’m not going all J. Alfred Prufrock, but has it been established what Aldo does for a living?

  120. Audient
    September 21st, 2006 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    I thought Beetle and Miss Buxley were cousins. But “maebe” not. But I thought they were.

  121. lesles
    September 21st, 2006 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    #116 not in real life. he has to strap them up for the strip.

  122. Zikar
    September 21st, 2006 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    Aldo Kelrast is, Aldo Kelrast, in Aldo Kelrast: Professional Stalker & Drunk Driver.

    I see him pulling up to some secluded cliff, ala Donnie Darko, with a dead Mary in the passenger side, and watching the cyclone come to swallow up Charterstone in all of its meddling glory.

    Anyone else with me?

  123. Tracibub
    September 21st, 2006 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    Thank GOD for you people. I’m just so utterly glad that I was not the only one who made the Ceiling Cat connection right away when reading this morning’s Marmaduke.

    *wipes brow*

  124. pelagius
    September 21st, 2006 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    Shampoo vs. Conditioner: Look, it’s clearly a shampoo bottle, because the conditioner is being saved for later. Everyone knows shampoo stings.

  125. King Dogmeat
    September 21st, 2006 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    LOCKHORNS! Yeah, it’s about time! Show more Lockhorns!

  126. James Schend
    September 21st, 2006 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    digital watches that operate mechanically

    You just BLEW MY MIND!

  127. Scoopernicus
    September 21st, 2006 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    #107: Not to be too picky (this is a comics site after all), but it was not the rebs that blew up Petersburg, it was a Union attempt to break their lines that blew up a portion of Petersburg. Failed badly, by the way, as a lot of Union soldiers were slaughter in the “Battle” of the Crater.

    It’s kinda sad when you feel compelled to fact check the senile ramblings of Mary Worth.

    It’s even sadder that my greatest regret is that you beat me to it.

    Liber Anglia Nova!

  128. SmartPeopleOnIce
    September 21st, 2006 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    Yikes, in addition to my usual spelling and grammar mistakes, today I can’t even get my civil war history and 20th century poety icons right.

    CC, you are a harsh mistress.

  129. Zikar
    September 21st, 2006 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    Ooh, I love harsh mistresses…much like Leroy Lockhorn, or B/Aldo…

    Maybe I do need help…

  130. Maggie
    September 21st, 2006 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    Ok, I do not mean to sound stupid but at what point are we told that Andy is a St Bernard? St Bernards are HUGE friggin dogs. He looks so… puny. Considering Molly fit comfortably enough in to the front to seat to french kiss, I would assume she was a small-ish bear, or in other words, the same size as a St Bernard.

    Also. Can somebody please tell me why Fred Basset is still a comic strip? I appreciate it.

  131. Maggie
    September 21st, 2006 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    That should be I would appreciate it… I don’t actually appreciate Fred Basset.

  132. Ouish
    September 21st, 2006 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    Yeah, why can’t Baldo take a shower with Fred Basset’s head?

  133. Dennis Jimenez
    September 21st, 2006 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    CC a mistress? Probably news to Amber!

  134. Richard Onley
    September 21st, 2006 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    #117: The only kind of music I can imagine Mary Worth playing would be Heavy Meddle . . .

  135. AppleGirl
    September 21st, 2006 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    104 – “I find it very easy to be friends with someone who’s seen me naked. It usually means we’ve just finished having sex.”

    Hmmm… in my world, that usually means we can never be friends again!

  136. Perry
    September 21st, 2006 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

  137. cheech wizard
    September 21st, 2006 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    Apple – I find it’s very easy to be friends with someone I’ve just had sex with. It’s after I’ve screwed them that problems arise.

    Not that I’m in the habit of doing that, mind you. The latter, not the first.

  138. Sheila
    September 21st, 2006 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    Perry, where the heck did you get that?

    Jon has a HOUSE? With actual functional ROOMS like bathrooms? That Jim Davis can actually DRAW?

    I thought he lived in a shack containing only a waist-high counter, a cat bed, and one mouse-hole.

  139. dimestore lipstick
    September 21st, 2006 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    Reid, #101
    “She’s had to sit idly by as his drunken ass wears the lampshade and hits on the blonde girl half his age at least once a week, in the oldest recurring gag since Dagwood made a sandwich too big to eat.”

    That pithy description had me chortling. I think that’s a keeper. Or at least a COTW.

  140. Dadzilla
    September 21st, 2006 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    If you can’t afford top shelf liquor like Johnny, I recommend vodka and Nyquil. It worked for me in the bad ol’ days.

  141. bootsybooks
    September 21st, 2006 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    130 Mags: The animals in Mark Trail range in size from minbears to ginormous squirrels. The size of the same animal varies from day to day.

    To be fair, so do the sizes of the humans. Andy has sometimes been so big he looks like he can’t fit into a cabin. One day they showed only his head, which was so big he looked like he must be standing in the crawl space beneath a slightly raised cabin with his head poking through the floor.

    Get used to the mad mad world of Mark Trai! it’s a psychedelic trip.

    Then just wait til the animals talk.

  142. bootsybooks
    September 21st, 2006 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    Crap. That is of course “minibear”.

  143. Lyppy
    September 21st, 2006 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    Oh no! Don’t visualize it don’t visualize it don’t visuAAAARRRGGGH MY LAP MY LAP

  144. Woodrowfan
    September 21st, 2006 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    #92: hell, the car crash alone will take two years. it’ll be like one of those slo-motion driver’s ed films they show you when you’re 15 to scare the beejeebus out of you.

  145. Fred P.
    September 21st, 2006 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    Wait—-

    #141-bootsy

    So you’re saying Andy is human??

    I had always assumed him to be a dog, but now the scales have fallen from my eyes! Andy is OBVIOUSLY a plugger!

    You’re a plugger if you fall off a cliff with your miniature bear pluggerette friend while being shot at by a beekeeper who’s so chicken-kicken’ irate he can’t even shoot straight!

  146. ratsonjulia
    September 21st, 2006 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    #136—I thought there were laws against posting kitty porn…

  147. lascauxcaveman
    September 21st, 2006 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    Re: #117

    Take note Liz, Jon prefers shaved pussy. (Aw C’mon! I was talking about the CAT for pete’s sake!)

  148. lascauxcaveman
    September 21st, 2006 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    Whoops, that should have been Re: #136

    (We will never post again…)

  149. Vince M.
    September 21st, 2006 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    42: I always thought that expression in Foxtrot was the equivalent of Homer Simpson’s ‘ooOOoo!’ of delight.

  150. andreavis
    September 21st, 2006 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

    Thank goodness for this site. When I first read today’s Garfield, I immediately thought he was talking about JON seeing him naked. I was clearly reading too much into Jon’s sock drawer comment earlier in the week. The whole ‘Liz is Garfield’s doctor’ never entered my mind until I started reading today’s comments. Thank you, all, for leading me out of the pervy wilderness.

  151. Ben
    September 21st, 2006 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

    Does a Garfield have an ass?

  152. genghis
    September 22nd, 2006 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    Lockhorns:
    AUGH! AAAUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!
    AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

  153. Mountain Mama
    September 22nd, 2006 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    #134—Heavy Meddle! I love it!

    And I usually hate puns.

  154. sally
    September 22nd, 2006 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    #120: Beetle is Lois’ cousin from Hi and Lois. There are occasional crossovers. I’m embarrassed that I know this.

  155. ohyes
    September 22nd, 2006 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    Molly has fallen off two cliffs in what, a day or two of her time?

    And now Aldo has gone off a cliff.

    And Spiderman’s nemesis fell off a cliff a couple weeks ago.

    They’re realy taking “cliffhanger” to heart in comic strip writing school.

    I see Aldo and Molly and Molly’s owner all in adjoining hospital beds, with Mary Worth chirping, “Cheer up, Buttercup” and feeding them spoonfuls of honey. Molly sees Mary as a friend.

  156. King Folderol
    September 22nd, 2006 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    I know I’m late here, but I can actually remember a time when Miss Buxley pretty much kept every man at arm’s length. In the last few years, she’s expressed some mild interest in Zero and seems to be dating Beetle on and off. Perhaps it’s the 12-year old in me talking, but I prefer the old days, when I could secretly believe, in my heart of hearts, that someone like me could break through the interdimensional rules of time and space and go to Camp Swampy and sweep her off of her tiny little feet. Yeah, I was a sad little kid, but at least I had dreams, baby.

  157. Call_Me_Fishmeal
    September 22nd, 2006 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    For shame, Mort Walker’s son, or whoever’s actually doing the strip these days. The “kisser” gag is not only lame, it’s a retread. It was first done about forty years ago, only with Killer and some anonymous bimbo*. Back then, it made a little more sense because old-timers like Mort would remember the REALLY old-style drinking fountains that used to shoot water up from a little ceramic ball. If the water pressure was low enough (and you were thirsty enough) you might actually be tempted to osculate the damned thing. Yuck.

    *Anyone obsessed with seeing the original might try digging up Mort’s out-of-print (and really quite entertaining) book, “Backstage at the Strips”. It’s included among his favorite gags(!).

  158. undecynup
    December 4th, 2008 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

    [url=http://zbixqziy.blogspot.com]child polo shirt[/url]
    m sunglasses
    http://koaxwnae.blogspot.com

  159. Tom
    April 8th, 2009 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    He uses the shampoo for, as a, uhhh lubricant for his little baldo

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