The Comics Curmudgeon

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Lu Ann Powers: Girl detective

Apartment 3-G, 10/6/06

The Case Of The Dumb Blonde In The Mysterious Dark Building has been grinding on slowly while the other A3G girls enjoy their old-man-taunting dinner party. It’s not exactly clear where it is that Lu Ann is sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong; presumably its door was opened by the mysterious set of keys Alan left for our blonde bombshell back in August, and it’s the only building in New York that isn’t in the midst of a condo conversion. Hopefully the moodily lit Lu Ann will get to the top of the stairs and discover that Alan has been living for the past few months Phantom Of The Opera style in a ruined but strangely beautiful aerie, where he’s been perfecting his art in isolation and brooding over the girl who got away. Either that, or it’ll be some kind of sex dungeon.

I don’t like to criticize when I can’t offer alternative solutions of my own, but: I’m not really sure how in the context of a single relatively small panel you’d indicate that a character’s flashlight is starting to flicker on and off, but I’m pretty sure having it emit the words “BLINK BLINK” isn’t it.

Mary Worth, 10/6/06

OH MY GOD FUNERAL FUNERAL FUNERAL! You know what happened the last time Mary went to a funeral, don’t you? Don’t you? AWESOMENESS! Even if Aldo really is dead, surely the presence of the evil meddlers who drove him to desperate self-harm will cause some sort of angry riot among his (no doubt many) friends, family members, and loved ones. Will Mary and Toby have to flee one of Santa Royale’s classiest funeral homes one step ahead of an enraged mob of Kanes and Kelrasts? Will Ian and Wilbur find their bodies strung up from the nearest lamppost the next day? Or (better yet) will this “funeral” turn out to be an intervention for inveterate meddlers, presided over by none other than the not-really-dead Aldo himself? I mean, in real life, it’s probably going to be a chance for Mary to dispense Bartlett’s-worthy bon mots about alcohol abuse, but let a guy dream for a day or two, OK?

Mark Trail, 10/6/06

Uh, yeah, but Mark is really just lulling Hoyt into a sense of complacency, and then he’s going to turn around and punch him in the jaw, right? Right? I mean, the phrase “Keep your dogs off of Lost Forest property, Hoyt” would be best delivered with Hoyt supine, cowering, and nursing a broken nose.

I have a feeling that Molly is going to have a hard time understanding the hostility towards her from the administrators of the local hospital and the county health inspectors.

Ballard Street, 10/6/06

Uh, yeah, her own mind. That’s what she’s deriving all that pleasure from. Riiiight.

This entry was posted on Friday, October 6, 2006 at 05:41 pm and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Ballard Street, Mark Trail, Mary Worth.

127 responses to “Lu Ann Powers: Girl detective”

BethThe#20Fan
October 6th, 2006 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

Um that last comic. If I ever see my grandmother doing that with that look on her face, I’m pouring bleach into my eyes.
Lore
October 6th, 2006 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

How do you handle blinking in a comic strip? Ask Lynn Johnston.
MossMoses
October 6th, 2006 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

What’s this touchy feelie crap in MT? The mixed messages are confusing me the way hostile people confuse Molly. Punch the facially haired evildoer already, for God’s sake! The man kicked chickens!
mon-ma-tron
October 6th, 2006 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

I want some Lu Ann powers!
I’d use them for evil, of course.

Blink. Blink.
Mr. X
October 6th, 2006 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

I’d like to stick around and comments, but instead I’m going to go to the bedroom and derive a great deal of pleasure from my own mind.
treedweller
October 6th, 2006 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

One wonders what Lu Ann does with her flashlight that she just happens to have it handy and speaks of it so fondly. Maybe it’s fritzing out because, um, moisture has penetrated to the electrical circuit.
DaveyK
October 6th, 2006 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

Assuming Aldo is really dead (I am still holding out for a zombie revenge tale) I can’t wait to see how the artist’s render Aldo’s coffin, considering that his plunge off the cliff no doubt fused Aldo and car together in a single ball of tissue, metal, blood, rubber, and bone.
treedweller
October 6th, 2006 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

The flashlight’s electrical circuit, you perv!
Herold
October 6th, 2006 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

As a man who has seen many terrifying things, I can safely say that that Ballard Street is easily in the top five.

Can’t sleep, masturbating grandmother will eat me, can’t sleep, masturbating grandmother will eat me…
Steve S
October 6th, 2006 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

Panel 3 of Apartment 3G should have indicated the flashlight problems by being all black, with only the speech bubble. Likewise, every panel of every For Better or for Worse should be all black to indicate its utter soullessness.
wocket
October 6th, 2006 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

Never mind the “blink blink”. What’s with the CREAK SQUEEK SQUEEK? Are we readers supposed to be utterly terrified that she stepped on a rather irate mouse?
Steve S
October 6th, 2006 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

Also likewise, every panel of BC should be all black to indicate Johnny Hart’s drawing laziness and/or impending death.
roydrink
October 6th, 2006 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

TDIET – What???

Oysters Parmesan ?

Giant Squid Fondue ?

I wouldn’t even trust a burger from a place that has Stuffed Pork Snout with Herbal Couscous on the ‘menu’.

And what’s up with not even bothering to write down the specials? Does this indicate the place is hoydie-toydie?

eewww…
Harry Paratestes
October 6th, 2006 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

Ballard Street: It’s obscene on three levels: that the author should depict an elderly woman masturbating; that her vagina has actually sagged over the years until it lies directly between her knees; and also that the woman is Rodney Dangerfield in drag.
Islamorada Girl
October 6th, 2006 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

#7–Obviously, it will be a closed casket funeral. Anyone wanna bet MW will hurl herself on the coffin, waling with grief. guilt and Alpo casserole?
Prince of Darkness
October 6th, 2006 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

Longtime lurker, first time poster. Just wanted y’all to know I have Bruce Tinsely’s soul corked up in a tiny green bottle and he isn’t getting it back. Hell, I invented cortract law! Stay cool!
Sheilagh
October 6th, 2006 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

Hahaha, boys! That’s how we girls do ACCIDENTAL MASTURBATION!

Eat yer hearts out ;-)
Kirbyoto
October 6th, 2006 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

Is it just me, or does it seem really presumptuous of Mary to attend Aldo’s funeral? I mean, I’m not 100% up to date on funeral regulations, but showing up and being like “Hey, I was the target of the deceased’s stalkerly affections, and these are my friends who told him to leave me alone in unison right before he died.”
Harry Paratestes
October 6th, 2006 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

Look at Raju in panel 3 today, he looks like a thing of evil incarnate. He’s thinking that tonite he’s definitely going to score some nooky from Neddy, and Sophie too. That chick in the clothing shop set him up with some Rohypnol, no doubt about that.
Cornwhacker
October 6th, 2006 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

Lu Ann is uttering Aldo Kelrast’s last words. This can’t be good.
NJP
October 6th, 2006 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

Isn’t Lost Forest a state or national park? Who the hell is Mark Trail to tell Hoyt what to do with his dogs on public lands?
Sheilagh
October 6th, 2006 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

Um, I thought Mark Trail was the ranger.
BethThe#20Fan
October 6th, 2006 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

Grandmother Va Gina’s husband looks like Peter Boyle dressed up as the Monster in Young Frankenstein.
Opus
October 6th, 2006 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

Oh for pity’s sake. The only way they could have made the resolution to the Aldo storyline more boring is…actually, there’s no way it could be more boring.

What do you suppose Mr. Pauline is thinking? “5-4-3-2…”
Chromium
October 6th, 2006 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

The only thing that could possibly be scarier than this Ballard Street is the last one. I think it’s a draw, actually.

I love how ashamed Hoyt looks in the first panel. Only Mark Trail can make villains feel so horrible about themselves.
Albatross
October 6th, 2006 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

Aldo-Mania 2006 is not over! Just imagine an entire family of creepy passive-aggressive alcoholic Bob Keeshan look-alikes!

Can NOBODY see that Hoyt is merely Mark Trail’s evil twin from the evil Star Trek universe of the Spock-Goatee? NOBODY?

And what has “Pauline” of Ballard Street got clenched in her two hands? And is it buzzing?
Mike
October 6th, 2006 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

The best part of today’s Mark Trail are the mile-wide, duck-shaped spaceships arriving to destroy the earth and make way for a hyperspace bypass.
sj
October 6th, 2006 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

I know it’s a solemn time and that a funeral is very serious . . .
But what is up with Toby’s breasts in the last panel? They’re not at all on the same level???
The G-Man
October 6th, 2006 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

I’m beginning to have my doubts about Raju. At first, I thought he was going to be some crazy foreigner who got pulled into all of this, and he’d turn out to be like the TA’s in EE labs, but now I’m suspecting he’s some kind of evil mastermind, bent on world domination. Which would still be pretty awesome, except his plan seems to be to woo every female in Wherever-the-heckville with inventory control and fruity t-shirts.

Actually, I’ve changed my mind. Taking over the world with Hawaiian T-shirts (no matter how fruity) is badass. Hands down, the coolest world domination scheme ever. It’d never work, but it’s so awesome, I’m going to keep hoping it will.
Rad Lightning
October 6th, 2006 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

Hoyt has two shirts in his closet. The gay-ish orange one is worn when he’s shooting at local wildlife. The pale blue one is worn when he gets put in his place. A quick change artist, AND a bad shot. God, how I love him so.
Sjofn
October 6th, 2006 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

You know what’s sad, I hadn’t scrolled down past that Grandma’s head and was already thinking, “Man, that looks dirty.”
Grendell
October 6th, 2006 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

Ballard Street obviously wants to get a mention on The Arlo Page.
Bill Peschel
October 6th, 2006 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

MW alert: We’ll finally get to see Alpo’s cousin! (I call him that because, after crashing down a cliff, he bears an amazing resemblance to the stuff).

Won’t reveal more, except that you should note that the word balloons and the hand gestures do not match up. Write your own dialog to fit. It’ll make you look like Ballard Street’s grandma!
Harry Paratestes
October 6th, 2006 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

A3G: I like all of the ‘doubled’ sounds (blink, blink, squeak, squeak, etc) but what I really like is the look of Luann in panel 3. She looks like Pam Andersen without a complete makeup job. Observe!
http://www.methodshop.com/tech/articles/powerofmakeup/pam-anderson.jpg
Maybe Pam will star if they make this wretched beast into a movie. Her ‘low budget’ film career with Tommy foundered, alas, and she might need the cash.
dramashoes
October 6th, 2006 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

If you look at the second panel of today’s MW, you can clearly see that Mary has sprouted a freakish ponyail made of white sheet metal. Also, Toby is vomiting up a bunch of black ink blots whilst clutching Mary’s arm, and still manages to speak. Thus my theory is proven: Mary Worth represents Thomas Jefferson, who secretly invented bulimia in order to bring about the apocalypse. Why else would Mary Worth’s name be an acronym for “throw army?”
Doug Puthoff
October 6th, 2006 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

Poor LuAnn. Remember the last person who said “Oh No” in a Friday comic strip (hint: He looked like Captain Kangaroo). She also reminds me of the comic books superheroine Black Canary, except she needs to wear black fishnet stocking.

MW: OMG! The plot advanced! One millimiter, but it advanced.
ohgrl
October 6th, 2006 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

Where can I buy mood wallpaper like Mary’s? Mary + sad= black; Toby + afterschool-special-style hope = white. Keen!

And Mary, I wouldn’t refuse Toby’s request…she’s suddenly sporting some major man-hands.
Mik Holmes
October 6th, 2006 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

35> I noticed that too. Hmm, how often do we see the back of Mary’s head? Perhaps she’s had this anime-esque ponytail in the back for some time.

If you notice, Toby’s hand isn’t shown in the first panel, I can only assume it’s on Mary’s behind. I come to this conclusion because in the second, she isn’t putting her hand on Mary’s arm, its going for the chest.

Its (grand)MILF time folks.

Also, I’d like to mention that Lu Ann’s expression in the last panel doesn’t really fit. It looks more like “Oh no? o_O”
Heckler123
October 6th, 2006 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

I mentioned this a few days back – Aldo can’t really be dead. I’m telling you he has an evil twin.
Just look at how Aldo has blue eyes in the Sunday comics, while his eyes are brown on week days.

Check his eyes out on Sunday, September 10 – blue as the autumn sky. In the days leading up to his death, his eyes are either averted or, when he glimpses at us plaintively, his eyes are as brown as a Dove dark chocolate bar.

The blue-eyed Aldo is still lurking out there.
Summerhouse
October 6th, 2006 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

Where’s Uncle Lumpy these days? Too stricken by Aldo’s death to post?
Sundance
October 6th, 2006 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

Way, way back I recall a discussion with my mom about a comic I was readin on the funny pages and wow, she used to read it too, way way back when she was a kid too. Yep, that was the classic Mary Worth & thanks to TCC, I again need my MW fix everyday. Actually, it’s bordering on obsession now. So what’s next, after the funeral I mean,,,,Jeff’s return,,,,,what’s her name that I can’t remember is skinny…..Mary discovers the cure for cancer !!!!…..OMG,I can’t wait……………….oh I so need a life
TurtleBoy
October 6th, 2006 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

On the subject of blinking: does Lynn Johnston’s Shatner-girl Shannon not blink at all, or does she just…blink…really…slowly…? I watched anxiously for a minute or so this morning (damn you, Lynn Johnston! Damn you to hell!) trying to detect some sort of movement, and I saw no blinks.
Fred P.
October 6th, 2006 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

Alright, so the old girl is enjoying herself. Unsettling, perhaps, but that’s her business. What is far more deeply alarming to me is the expression on her companion’s face, a mixture of jaded indifference, studious attention and grim determination. That and the fact that we can’t see what his right hand is up to.
Adfella
October 6th, 2006 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

GIL THORP FASHION ALERT

Following in the proud Gil Thorp tradition of food-related apparel, as exemplified by Mrs. Raptor’s stunning Doritos Nacho Chip blouse, today we witnessed Ted Pearse sporting the latest in cuisine-inspired outerwear…the Krispy Kreme dougnout shirt.
Heckler123
October 6th, 2006 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

RM – What is this crap about Milton’s clan? I have family from Scotland, and I’ve visited over there, too. I could have missed out on something, but everyone I talked to just referred to folks as their family.

Is it possible that Milton is just a member of the Klan, instead? If so, I’d think Heather would be WASP enough for them.
Fred P.
October 6th, 2006 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

As far as Lu Ann? Tommie and Margo are worried about Lu Ann being so late. It’s coming up eleven, folks, obviously every Manhattanite is wondering where her room-mate could have gotten to. Frankly, do we have any solid evidence at all that this comic is in fact set in New York City? How do we know that its not, say, Mayberry? Or whatever bumfuck nowheresville Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C. hails from.

And as for the blinking flashlight, she shouldn’t be so surprised. After the way that light’s been creaking and squeaking the last couple panels, everyone knew the poor thing was on its last legs.

But then again, she is Lu Ann.
ragthetiger
October 6th, 2006 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

#26: Yes, Albatross. I see it now. It’s so clear…

MW: No, no, no. None of you get it… Mary will call Hal Kane to ask about services for Aldo, and Hal will reply – “Aldo? Aldo who?”
Sara B.
October 6th, 2006 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

Mik Holmes: that’s not a ponytail, that’s whatever passes for tasteful art in Charterstone. Maybe you guys knew that and were being snarky, I couldn’t tell.

Turtleboy: everything about FOOB enrages me, but I especially don’t understand what kind of handicap Shannon Lake has that causes her to put ellipsis-length pauses at irregular intervals in her speech. Sometimes it’s ev…er…y… syl…lab…le and sometimes it’s… every few words… or so. Doesn’t make any sense. It reminds me of the way people at my work write emails: “Please……………. going forward action-item soft launch etc……… etc.. THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Actually, typed out like that it kind of reminds me of Scaduto and his triple-dashes—Oh, yeah!
Biblio
October 6th, 2006 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

So in today’s (DT)GT, is Ted saying “What the heck?” because he’s just caught sight of himself in a mirror and is wondering why his hair looks like Carol Brady’s?
Squeak
October 6th, 2006 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail has a hard time understanding the sarcasm directed toward him. “Yeah, I’ll do that!”
zeeba
October 6th, 2006 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

MT: I don’t believe Hoyt for a minute. “Wow, it’s a good thing I’m a bad shot!” Wow? How old is Hoyt anyway–12? At least he admits he’s a bad shot. And another thing, Mark calls Buck an “old man.” I don’t remember that character looking all that elderly.
Scoopernicus
October 6th, 2006 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

Lu Ann stumbles into the place were the Cylons where hiding!

Sorry, just finished watching the series premeir of Battlestar Galactica. I’m a bit confused right now.
Key Lime Pie
October 6th, 2006 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

I still can’t help but wonder how the police knew to call Mary when Aldo was found stewed in his heap.
Wouldn’t they call Hal Kane and not the busy body who drove him literally over the edge?
Maybe Aldo left a note…
reader-who-posts
October 6th, 2006 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

It looks like WIlbur is positively lunging for the door. He’s probably going to drive off the same cliff just so he can get away from Mary and Toby.
LaughingOnTheInside
October 6th, 2006 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

“Include me too,” chirps Toby. She’s so excited that she can go to the funeral. She wants to tell all of Aldo’s loved ones about that great bumper sticker she saw.
LaughingOnTheInside
October 6th, 2006 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

Blink Blink.
Oh No.

I thought Lu Ann was having some sort of problem relating to communication via Morse Code.
treadwell
October 6th, 2006 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

Raju is leering because he realizes at the party he’ll get to see Ned in one of the revealing outfits she just bought.

…and we’d better get to, too.
stevedogg
October 6th, 2006 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

i bet hoyt is so pissed he kicks a whole COOP of chickens when he gets home.

good job, trail.
Jim Walsh
October 6th, 2006 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

“Blink blink”? Hell, that’s nothing…I remember Cathy wolfing down a snack, and the words “Gulp! Chew! Eat!” appearing in thin air around her head. Such is life, I suppose, in the Land Of Onomatopoeia…
Marion Delgado
October 6th, 2006 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

I get what Josh is driving at! I have a …. plan!

What Hoyt needs is..

AN INTERVENTION ……..
Roscoe P. Soultrain
October 6th, 2006 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

Anyone else feeling somehow a little let down that “Hal Kane” doesn’t anagram into much of anything?
Mibbitmaker
October 6th, 2006 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

What flickers and goes with LuAnn up the stairs?

Abbey the Wonder Flashlight.

BLINK! BLINK! BLINK!
Ohyes
October 6th, 2006 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

Hoyt: “Man, I am such a doofus!”

LuAnn uses great hair conditioner.

Ballard Street: I used to see an elderly woman looking much like that, in a bathing suit in a whirlpool, leaning into one of the water spouts. She was inspiring.
Marion Delgado
October 6th, 2006 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

Any bets on whether Toby will derive a good deal of pleasure from her own mind at the funeral?
Ohyes
October 6th, 2006 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

LuANn is either going to a dance concert in an alternative space, or trying to score drugs..
2fs
October 6th, 2006 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

#34: Good lord, Pam looks…almost…human!
Dub Not Dubya
October 6th, 2006 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

Fred P:

As far as Lu Ann? Tommie and Margo are worried about Lu Ann being so late. Itâ€™s coming up eleven, folks, obviously every Manhattanite is wondering where her room-mate could have gotten to. Frankly, do we have any solid evidence at all that this comic is in fact set in New York City? How do we know that its not, say, Mayberry? Or whatever bumfuck nowheresville Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C. hails from.

But of course we do. We’ll never forget that trip to the World-Renowned New York City Public Library!
Mibbitmaker
October 7th, 2006 at 12:00 am [Reply]

The pleasure derived by Pauline in her mind is the sex fantasy she’s separating her camel’s toes to.

Sad thing is, it involves Aldo and Molly….
Jim
October 7th, 2006 at 12:10 am [Reply]

Whoa… is it me, or is he thought of grandma ‘rubbing one out’ really hot… ’specially with gramps there watching, covering his rod with the newspaper.
apostate
October 7th, 2006 at 12:23 am [Reply]

17:
I don’t get it… Is accidental masturbation any better than deliberate masturbation? Anyway, it looks to me like Grandma is being quite deliberate.
Mibbitmaker
October 7th, 2006 at 12:47 am [Reply]

10/7:

A3G: Gee, what’re the chances of that happening?

SF: Now they’re going to tear the house down with soundwaves!

SM: “At home”?!! You don’t live in Los Angeles, dumbass! Just what’s needed in a superhero: quick thinking.

FOOB: Bring out the choir and the angels and fire up the cloud machine, April’s getting her St. Patterson halo now. She even prays in school! Get it, you right-wingers: it’s officially sanctioned prayer that’s verboden in school. Ha!

Nancy: Hell, that whole joke’s a bit of a stretch!

NS: There’s this week’s periodical Obvious and Hateful Bush/Iraq Analogy (OaHB/IA). Almost one a week now. Sad part is, it was already obvious a couple of days ago.
treedweller
October 7th, 2006 at 12:52 am [Reply]

What do mean kids call it when they have a party to see who can bring the worst date? So they can all laugh at the freaks who thought for a brief moment that they were going to hang with the beautiful people?

I can’t remember what they call it, but I think Raju is going to win.
Poteet
October 7th, 2006 at 12:56 am [Reply]

10/7 MT last panel — Awwwwwwwwww…(sniff). I’m happy now.
Mibbitmaker
October 7th, 2006 at 1:06 am [Reply]

MW (10/7): He had some “inner demons”? Ohmigod, they got to Hal! Well, Mr. Kane, you’re about to meet Aldo’s outer demons! (I believe you just met one of them now.)
booky
October 7th, 2006 at 1:11 am [Reply]

Hal Kane —> Alka Hen
gango4
October 7th, 2006 at 1:19 am [Reply]

C’mon now. SOMEBODY has to comment on the utterly DREAMY look in Dr. Rex’s eyes when he contmplates ‘congratulating’ Milton. (Friday: Panel 2)

Let’s not lose our edge here, readers…
cold eels, distant thoughts
October 7th, 2006 at 1:56 am [Reply]

Elrod, you’ve shed my tears for the last time. I’ll never again be sucked into your web of sentimental adventures of round-mouthed, suddenly minituarized bears.
cold eels, distant thoughts
October 7th, 2006 at 1:59 am [Reply]

Also – I’m appreciating the Nikki Sixx cameo in Judge Parker. I think he was cast in Momma once, but I might have dreamed it.
cold eels, distant thoughts
October 7th, 2006 at 2:00 am [Reply]

Crap, I mean Nikki Sixx is in Rex Morgan.
Virginia
October 7th, 2006 at 2:20 am [Reply]

#72, it’s called a Dogfight.

MT: Luckily, Hoyt ended up accidentally shooting a lawyer in the face instead of Molly. The lawyer later aplogized for being in the way of Hoyt’s awful shooting, and everyone lived happily after ever.

BS: Her vagina isn’t low, she’s actually got a Pocket Rocket.
rich
October 7th, 2006 at 3:24 am [Reply]

79: I was about to say Trent Reznor. Looks like he’s wearing those same kind of shiny black gloves. Or Alice Cooper. I’m getting whiplash from these back-and-forth, radically different storylines. How will they eventually intersect, the urban junkie dirtballs and the mighty clan of offended Scotsmen? Perhaps Rex, June and the Nanny will fly off to Scotland, with the junkies trailing close behind. Hilarity ensues…kind of like when the Beverly Hillbillies visited the UK.
K Bear
October 7th, 2006 at 3:58 am [Reply]

ballard street– ew ew EW EW EW!!! i didn’t need to see that!
Von Zeppelin
October 7th, 2006 at 5:59 am [Reply]

The Cardinal Archbishop of Santa Royale, delivering the eulogy: “We will never know what drove our departed brother to this act of despair. Well, actually, we do know. It was those four assholes sitting in the sixth row over there. Proud of yourselves? Feel really good about tormenting a guy you knew was an alcoholic until he went over the edge (as it were)? And please don’t give me any of this shit about how you didn’t make him buy the bottle. You knew what you were doing. God, you people make me sick. I can’t believe you would show your faces here. On behalf of Hal, and the other people here who actually cared about this poor guy, let me say, with the full authority of my cardinalatial office, ‘Go fuck yourselves.’ In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritu Sancti, Amen.”
Grendell
October 7th, 2006 at 6:01 am [Reply]

I have to admit I find 10/7’s Rose is Rose much more disgusting than Pauline pleasuring herself. Seriously, who enjoys all that happyhappyjoyjoy? I need to wash the sap off of me right now.
bubujin
October 7th, 2006 at 6:32 am [Reply]

I think LuAnn is about to experience a comics crossover: she’ll discover where the REAL Aldo has been holing up since his bout with the bottle.
Da Scrodfather
October 7th, 2006 at 7:32 am [Reply]

The way Hoyt’s glaring at the back of Mark Trail’s head . . . he can’t possibly miss at that range. “It was an accident! I was aiming at the bear! Too bad I’m such a bad shot, huh, asshole!”
Rex Morgan, FOOB
October 7th, 2006 at 7:52 am [Reply]

A3G: That’s not a real light bulb, that’s one of those comic strip things where the character has an idea and they show a light bulb coming on over their head. LuAnn’s never had one before, so she’s really surprised by it.

FOOB: Apwil, that’s daydreaming in class, not praying.

MW: Instead of a memorial service, cousin Kane is going to have his own intervention for the Charterstone gang of four. “You do realize you overstepped your boundaries, don’t you, Professor Chinbeard?”
rotts
October 7th, 2006 at 7:53 am [Reply]

Ballard Street – 10/06 – I called it yesterday. Thanx for picking up.
FleaBailey
October 7th, 2006 at 8:07 am [Reply]

A3G: In Saturday’s episode, Lu Ann has more adventures in the world of talking appliances, as the lightbulb explains what it is doing.
Frank Drackman
October 7th, 2006 at 8:10 am [Reply]

Even more disturbing than the masturbating biddy on Ballard Street is Lyndon Johnson sitting next to her. Tobys really got the camel toe goin on in that first panel..Thanks for the flashback to Ritas daughter..maybe we’ll get an Aldo version complete with creepy hand puppets. Lu Ann is definately hot,,shes sorta got an Angelina Jolie look in that last panel. I’ve never been a bully, but something about Wilbur makes me want to climb into the comic world and give him a red belly and an atomic wedgie. I think Ian feels the same way,,its just his love for Toby that restrains him.
FleaBailey
October 7th, 2006 at 8:16 am [Reply]

What weird space time continuum does Blondie inhabit, anyway? I’ve heard all the groaning over B.C.’s post-apocalyptic cavemen for years, now, but what world does Blondie live in, where the 90s liberated, working-woman, caterer persona is mother to Alexander, the teen who apparently doesn’t even have a CD player, much less an IPod, but must make do with a stereo?
FleaBailey
October 7th, 2006 at 8:26 am [Reply]

And MT brings a bear into a hospital room? A BEAR????? I don’t CARE that he says it’s with special permission! What American health care facility is going to allow a BEAR to come traipsing down its halls, accompanied only by one wimpy park ranger, for pete’s sake? What if it decided to visit some of the other patients? What if it got caught short, as it were? What if only one other patient caught sight of the bear and, having a weak heart, immediately suffered a massive coronary and keeled over dead? Talk about your lawsuit just waiting to happen!

Mark Trail has now officially departed for fantasy land.
Von Zeppelin
October 7th, 2006 at 9:07 am [Reply]

92 FleaBailey–Hey, lighten up, FB. We’re talking about Molly here. She doesn’t understand your hostility.

The Joint Commission on Accreditation of Health Care Organizations has a special “Molly exemption” in its rules that normally prohibit bears from visiting hospitals. She is required to sign in and show photo ID, so that they don’t accidentally let in Arrow-Ass Bear by mistake.
Biblio
October 7th, 2006 at 9:15 am [Reply]

Oy, what’s with April the FOOB today? She’s not praying, she’s thinking about her grandpa…unless gramps is God? I’m sorry, that can’t be right. God made us in his image, so if Grampa FOOB was God, we’d ALL have chinballs.
Derelict
October 7th, 2006 at 10:04 am [Reply]

93–I think FleaBailey is simply pondering the possible outcomes to the age-old question, “does a bear shit in the ICU?”

Meanwhile, Hal Kane seems awfully cheery for someone who is in the midst of arranging his cousin’s funeral. Maybe O Stalker lad had some other problems within the family that will make them all want to dance on his grave? That would certainly give Mary and the rest of the Charterston Gang ample excuse to turn their Platitudinators up beyond “STUN” and into “ANNIHILATE.”
Heckler123
October 7th, 2006 at 10:05 am [Reply]

MW: Is Mary ever going to change out of her red jogging suit? Even Toby changed into some white pants the other day.
Thundheels
October 7th, 2006 at 10:24 am [Reply]

Did anyone else see the 9/29 Born Loser Cartoon? Brutus Thornapple takes a call that her says is a wrong number. The caller asks for ALDO! I imagine Mary Worths voice on the line desparately trying other strips to find him.
Red Greenback
October 7th, 2006 at 11:38 am [Reply]

I think the “dogs” M.T. refers to are Hoyt’s feet…Oh yeah!
jenga!
October 7th, 2006 at 11:57 am [Reply]

Finally! The salami-skank is back. Fortunately for her son, she’s brought along her pimp to shake him down . . . Thank you Rex Morgan.
SmartPeopleOnIce
October 7th, 2006 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

Molly was allowed in to see Buck because he’s in (wait for it) the intensive bear unit.

Thank you. Please tip your servers, otherwise they spit in the food.
SmartPeopleOnIce
October 7th, 2006 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

In other news:

A3G: Oh please, don’t quit now.

I suspect this is not the first time the flashlight has heard these words from LuAnn.
Harry Paratestes
October 7th, 2006 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

MT: Actually, FleaBailey, Molly – among her many talents – is a certified guide bear, so she can go wherever she wants. She can also do pole dances, cook, clean windows and is fluent in first-century Aramaic.
RMMD: Wow, meth-manga-mama’s boyfriend / pimp isn’t really Elvis, he’s Tommy Lee from Motley Crue. I guess he’s just going honky-ghetto because his music sucks. It just goes to show you that the only thing worse than a rusty ex-sports car is a washed-up hair band member.
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40604000/jpg/_40604485_motleycrue_body_ap.jpg
Dingo
October 7th, 2006 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

Jenga, I would like to see that phrase on a t-shirt: the salami-skank is back!. It has a Frankie Goes to Hollywood quality to it.

Oh, and let’s hope for salami mommy that her boyfriend shares some of Tommy Lee’s qualities. And… I’m… not… talking about… his… guitar… playing.
san antone rose
October 7th, 2006 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

Hoyt proclaims that he is a bad shot. The next panel shows ducks flying overhead.

Those ducks are soooo mocking Hoyt.
SmartPeopleOnIce
October 7th, 2006 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

#102 (Harry) Molly – among her many talents – is a certified guide bear, so she can go wherever she wants. She can also do pole dances, cook, clean windows and is fluent in first-century Aramaic.

In college, Molly was an Ursa Major…

Please kill me.
dramashoes
October 7th, 2006 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

#105: Don’t worry about it. Lots of people make bear jokes. It’s perfectly natural fur us. So long, I’m off to the maul.
Harry Paratestes
October 7th, 2006 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

We’ll just have to grin and bear it
Poteet
October 7th, 2006 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

#81 — Rich, maybe the crossover has already begun. The junkie-skank couple look like they could play the leads in a really dark edgy low-budget version of MACBETH.
SmartPeopleOnIce
October 7th, 2006 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

Mary will cry Aldo way to the funeral.
Shave Ezra
October 7th, 2006 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

What is Wilbur doing with his right hand in the first panel?
SmartPeopleOnIce
October 7th, 2006 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

And in still other news:

FC: Well, lil’ brother, I’m glad we had this opportunity to bask in nature’s splendor together. Hopefully, one day you will look back on this youthful time of innocence with fondness and perhaps remember me, your loving sister and how I tried to instill a sense of awe and wonder in you regarding our animal cousins and their mysterious ways. Now let go of my fucking ponytail before I beat you into a coma.
Moby
October 7th, 2006 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

Hal….Kane…Haaal….do…..Kaaane…. Haldo Kanerast? Eeek. Like a dead (get it?) ringer for…Aldo Kelrast? Everyone might be confused for months!
andreavis
October 7th, 2006 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

#72– I belive the phrase you’re looking for is “pig party”. Not that I’ve been to one!
Summerhouse
October 7th, 2006 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

There’s video available on the net of a bear visiting a hospital. It just ambled in through the automatic doors. Seems like it was news in the Spring. The bear wasn’t near patient rooms, but they shot him anyway, lest he bite someone before they could herd him out of the building. I’d find and link, but I have no more ability to do that than does the dead bear itself.
Summerhouse
October 7th, 2006 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

If you check out Chuck Shepard’s News of the Weird for 10/1/6, you’ll see a story about a lady and her emotional-assistance monkey. The story reportst that many restaurants do not want the lady and her monkey; but I feel certain any hospital would welcome Molly, the Emotional-Assistance Bear. Come on! She’s helped me get over my crippling fear of intimacy, and she’s not even my bear!
Chip Zdarsky
October 7th, 2006 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

I’m weirded out that the light from her flash light is the same colour as her flesh. “Fleshlight,” I believe, is a sexual aide that men fuck. I could be wrong, but I’m actually quite right.
Quite. Right.
Summerhouse
October 7th, 2006 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

“Camel toe” refers to deliberately delineated labia.
I have only seen deliberately drawn delineated labia one time on Toby in the conversation scenes since Aldo’s death. It seems to me that the frequent camel toe everyone is seeing is just lines emphasizing where crotch ends and thighs begin. (The kind of drawing that causes guys to make “Eat at the Y” jokes.) I am a heterosexual, loose fitting-pants wearing woman not of any desert or nomadic extraction, so this is the most I have ever said the words “camel toe.” But I feel I must speak out. Misidentification of camel toe diminishes us all. It takes away from the deliberate, perverted effort the artist must go to in order to bring pants that “lift and separate” to the comic page.
andreavis
October 7th, 2006 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

#102 &103 — I thought that meth-mama’s pimp/companion looked a little more like Ron Woods, circa “Tattoo You”. He has it all: shag haircut, kohl-rimmed eyes, unshaven chin. Come to think of it, the mama looks a little like Keith Richards on a 3-year bender.
Richard Onley
October 7th, 2006 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

84: Grendell says:
“I have to admit I find 10/7â€™s Rose is Rose much more disgusting than Pauline pleasuring herself. Seriously, who enjoys all that happyhappyjoyjoy? I need to wash the sap off of me right now.”

It was once the second-best drawn strip in the papers (right behind Calvin and Hobbes). Now I think they should retitle it Glurge Is Glurge.

#96: Heckler123 says:
MW: Is Mary ever going to change out of her red jogging suit?

I’m sure she’ll have a nice black one to wear to the funeral.

#115: Summerhouse says:
I feel certain any hospital would welcome Molly, the Emotional-Assistance Bear. Come on! Sheâ€™s helped me get over my crippling fear of intimacy, and sheâ€™s not even my bear!

Molly does not understand your hospitility . . .
blase
October 7th, 2006 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

RMMD: At first I thought, “another old fogey artist’s attempt at depicting ‘lowlifes’”. But wait — there could be some deeper political/morality play unfolding here. …You see, the punky mom and the hair-metal dad/pimp represent the irresponsible generations who grew up in the ’80s. The kid represents the youth of today who will have to pay for the excesses incurred by their irresponsible, Reagan-era parental units….
RBF-at-home
October 7th, 2006 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

This is monitor-spewing stuff! what can I say?

Except that Meddlin Mary Worth will bring Alpo Casserole to Aldo’s funeral. No funeral is complete without that.
Period.
MrP
October 7th, 2006 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

I don’t get the timing on that Mary Worth strip. It’s like the blonde chick saying “Include me too” is some sort of dramatic occurrence. The way the panel’s drawn heightens this feeling, like she had something vitally important and unexpected. It’s like what she SHOULD be saying in that panel is “… Tell the priest that it was our fault”, or “… Be sure to have sex with his corpse when no one’s looking. It’s what he would have wanted.”
Tj
October 8th, 2006 at 2:51 am [Reply]

The last strip….OMG! No wonder she’s blind!
Craig Shergold
October 8th, 2006 at 4:55 am [Reply]

Cross Ballard Street with camel-toe, and you get: Sheela Na-Gig

Sheila NaGee is my new porn name, replacing Nipples Ultra (ne plus ultra), replacing my canonical porn name, Bambi LaRonda.
michael
October 9th, 2006 at 9:44 am [Reply]

I can just see the ’50s style cautionary movie, to be shown in church basements and health classes alike:

Father: That’s right Timmy. Deriving a great deal of pleasure from your own mind can lead to blindness.
surtr
October 29th, 2006 at 12:54 am [Reply]

I’m more concerned about the fact that Lu Ann’s apparently being given “the willies”.

the entire strip is totally sexual in a freudian way – the bedspring-like “creak squeak”, the phallic use of keys, darkness=the id, “willies”.
Erl137
September 25th, 2009 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

Re: the first comic

It strikes me as much more dramatic and even possibly funny to just have the flashlight fail, then LuAnn’s frustration in the dark.

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Lu Ann Powers: Girl detective

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