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Devil child

Family Circus, 10/30/06

There’s always some sort of twisted psychodrama going on this ostensibly innocent little feature. Today, I’m wondering why Jeffy looks so damn depressed about Billy’s unfunny little joke. Some possibilities as to what might be running around his misshapen head:

  • “Mommy’s wrong and preacher’s right! There really are such things as witches, and evil and the devil are real!”
  • “Uh oh, Billy’s on to my initiation into the dark arts. I need to cast some sort of hex on him to keep him out of my business.”
  • “‘Baby witches?’ This is my big brother who I’m supposed to look up to? Jesus, I don’t know if he’s this stupid or if he thinks that I am.”
  • “Uh oh, I pooped my pants again.”

For Better Or For Worse, 10/30/06

OK, let’s for a moment assume that the crowd is going to go wild for the Hose-O-Phonium (which of course it wouldn’t in any rational world, but we are way past any rational world, baby). And let’s assume, against all evidence, that Uncle Phil really is the cool professional jazz-ish musician we’re told he is. And let’s assume that the endeavor on display here — the attempt of 4Evah and Eva to upstage the professional and talented (but still, of course, whorish and evil) RebaccaH — is a noble one. So, basically, Apes and her little friends are bringing in an adult professional to humiliate a thirteen-year-old. Nice. Shannon is so embarrassed by the whole thing that she’s attempting to escape through some kind of trapdoor in the floor, which is the only explanation I can come up with for why she comes up to about April’s navel in panel two.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/30/06

Ah, Mrs. Dr. Morgan, always trying to bring a little positive energy and dignity to a thankless world. Because who cares if the people in line behind her have to wait even longer than she did, she’s determined to make friendly chit-chat with this underpaid bureaucrat. It’s a bad idea, though: check out the seam down the side of the teller’s face in panel two. That’s no human clerk, it’s a pitiless android, and when it says “the clock keeps ticking,” it’s in deadly earnest: if June uses up her allotted time and the transaction isn’t complete, the DMV-bot will vaporize her with lasers from its eyes. So let’s get a move on, lady.

Luann, 10/30/06

So does it still count as an infuriating rehash if you get all post-modern and have one of the characters note that it’s an infuriating rehash? Yes, yes it does. Tune in next week when Luann has an awkward phone conversation with Aaron, and Bernice stands behind her with an enormous sign that says “NOTE: THIS STRIP IS ‘PHONING IT IN.’”

264 responses to “Devil child”

  1. Bill Peschel
    October 30th, 2006 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

    For all the slagging that the Foobiverse takes, I would like, in the interest of equal time, to note that 4Eva has a wicked satanic set going on behidn them. They could open for Spinal Tap!

  2. edgeways
    October 30th, 2006 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    Jeffy is about to be slapped with a whisk broom and he knows it.
    An hour? AN HOUR? JUNE YOU IGNORANT SLUT!
    “Wow, that was long, I’m not use to having to wait for anything in my upper-class life”
    sheesh, sometimes an hour is short, did you bring a book or anything, how about yer encephalitic excuse for a daughter.

  3. edgeways
    October 30th, 2006 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    Been wondering why April has been playing acoustic guitar, it’s not even wired in. Perhaps she just plays so poorly that the rest of the band intentionally has not told her no one can HEAR YOU!

  4. Martin
    October 30th, 2006 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

    Wasn’t Mrs. Dr. Morgan mugged like 5 months ago? She has been talking about geting a new driver’s license forever- please end this stupid story arc.

  5. Chris
    October 30th, 2006 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    Luann just needs to send a few BIEs to Aaron to see if there’s any “caring” going on.

  6. PreparationH
    October 30th, 2006 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    Waiting at DMV.

    vs.

    Reading strip about waiting at DMV.

    *Kills self*

  7. Poteet
    October 30th, 2006 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    Foob — Migawd, you mean that’s UNCLE PHIL under that sheet?! Oh, that is so, so wrong. To paraphrase RAISIN IN THE SUN, I look at this strip and see the final triumph of stupidity in the universe.

    FC — I suspect that maybe the emotion that Keane was trying to plaster on little Jeffy’s puss was “fear.” Instead, he managed the sort of expression that Jeffy will have years from now as he’s listening to the IRS representative during his first audit.

  8. Bobdog
    October 30th, 2006 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

    Foob — The comic loses something not being in its full color glory. Why for instance, are the memebers of the band dressed in clumps of seaweed?

    I didn’t say it lost much.

  9. dramashoes
    October 30th, 2006 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    If I believed in God I would ask Her to send a voltage spike and let April be part of the circuit while she and her friends are holding hands, and to let them all be wearing costumes made of copper wire. Although I’d settle for the lot of them being drowned in pigs’ blood. Also I want a teller machine with a placard floating in midair above it that says “Wilson + Noaln 10-30.”

  10. Harry Paratestes
    October 30th, 2006 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: You wonder where you’ve seen such costumes. Then you remember: they’re the garage-sale castoffs from George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic. Word.

  11. Harry Paratestes
    October 30th, 2006 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    #1
    Bill Peschel
    You know that their amps go up to 11, right?

  12. Ouish
    October 30th, 2006 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

    A nice sick little collection of Halloween horrors you’ve got there, Josh.

    Jeffy is miserable at the thought that there’s only one way even a baby witch could ride such a small broomstick: by holding in upright, as Billy is doing, and sitting on top. Rotating optional.

    Meanwhile in FOOB, while Phil is standing in his closed coffin waiting for his cue, the bad seed Rebecca will sneak up and kill him through the prop’s flimsy back. When the coffin opens at the climax of the show, Phil’s dead body will fall out. The audience will applaud wildly, thinking it’s part of the act.

    Then there’s LuAnn, just about to reveal the ultimate comics horror. Those aren’t her eyebrows in her hair. In fact, that’s not her hair. It’s an alien parasite that’s eaten the top of her skull, and its eyes are slits of happiness at having found such an easy mind to dominate.

  13. Harry Paratestes
    October 30th, 2006 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: So what happens if 4evah wins? Poor Beckster goes out and drowns her misery in alcohol, and by morning she’s not just roadside, she’s I-95side!

  14. Doug Puthoff
    October 30th, 2006 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    10-30: MF: Bruce, a lot of us conservative Christians hate Halloween. Maybe you should just let the subject go.

    Doonesbury: McDonald’s-bashing is so 2004. It’s the week before the election, and this is the best they can do for a rerun?

    Real Life Adventures: Even lamer the usual. Tim Allen beat that macho schtick to death years ago.

    Peanuts: Rumble reference are so 1950s.

    Mother Goose and Grimm: I actually laughted at this one, even though Daylight Savings Time jokes are so yesterday.

    Pluggers: Pluggers are also so stupid, they can’t fix a car clock.

  15. Jeff Coleman
    October 30th, 2006 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

    Re: Luann

    It’s like how the voiceover at the end of EVERY episode of Scrubs tries to make some kind of apology for its own cheese-ridden sentimentality:

    “And as cheesy as it sounds, sometimes you just need each other.”

    “And, even if it’s a bad cliche, sometimes you find the answer in yourself.”

    Etc. etc.

    If you’re calling out the fact that you’re doing something stupid, maybe just don’t do the stupid thing!

  16. Ryan
    October 30th, 2006 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    I feel bad for Bernice. She’s the dweeby friend of the self absorbed blond, and she wears glasses and a hairband she bought in 1993. Also, I just noticed that she doesn’t have boobs. Poor girl.

  17. Da Scrodfather
    October 30th, 2006 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    #12–Ouish, wouldn’t a brain parasite have starved to death on Luann years ago? And “This strip sucks wet farts out of dead pigs and you’re a schmuck for reading it” jokes can’t take the place of actual, y’know, JOKES.

  18. coyote
    October 30th, 2006 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

    Uncle … Phil … is some … hoser … eh?

  19. Mr. Barkie
    October 30th, 2006 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

    When and if Luann grows up, I hope she lives next door to Cathy. She deserves it. They both deserve it.

    And you know what else? I wish Aldo was alive so he could give 4Evah and Eva a ride home –via the Jack Daniels Expressway.

  20. Mr. Barkie
    October 30th, 2006 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

    Also, when Shannon says “break a leg” I think her comment is meant to be taken literally. At least I hope so.

  21. Derelict
    October 30th, 2006 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    FBOW: Maybe the real surprise is that Uncle Phil will jump out of the coffin at the climax of 4Evah + Eva’s set. He’ll be blowing the Hose-A-Phone for all he’s worth, twirling the funnel around his head for some extra special effects.

    And he will be completely naked.

  22. Rarebit Fiend
    October 30th, 2006 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    Mallard Fillmore can only play one note on his hose-o-phonium.

  23. RoboMax
    October 30th, 2006 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

    Dude…the fucking prop ghost is talking.

    FBOFW, not content to suck as much as it already does, is now ripping off Mark Trail, I guess.

  24. treedweller
    October 30th, 2006 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    That show is one tightly run ship. “you’re on in 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . . ” is followed by six lines of dialogue. Did whoever was counting them off see their set and go all catatonic? Did the curtain puller fall asleep? Are they just stalling the show until the Mounties: SVU can com get the adult man who’s hiding under a sheet at the back of a junior-high talent show?

    I haven’t looked forward to tomorrow’s FOOB strip like this in . . . well, ever!

    As for Luann, it seems clear that Aaron is not really behind the message, but I don’t think Tiff could pull off such a stunt. My guess is Gunther is finally getting his revenge for all the years of being treated as Luann’s whipping boy. And if he gets caught, he can say he was only following orders.

  25. Bill Peschel
    October 30th, 2006 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    Harry, if uncle’s in the coffin, then I’m hoping for a “Tap” style entrance, ending with crowbar-levering roadies.

  26. treedweller
    October 30th, 2006 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    Also, why is “Lian” in quotes? What did she really see in HI?

  27. Reid
    October 30th, 2006 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

    Great. We get a Luann Clip Show. Just take a vacation, you lazy @%$#.

    http://www.reidaboutit.com

  28. mumbles
    October 30th, 2006 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

    #21 – laughing out loud. Can’t wait for the next story line: Uncle Phil registers with his local law enforcement authorities as a convicted sex offender. When he runs into Howard Bunt-Erk in line at the sheriff’s…oh the laughs! (Yeah I know there’s no Megan’s Law in Canada, but still.)

    RMMD: Mrs. Dr. Morgan better lay off the attitude or Silent Bob behind her is gonna get all in her grill.

  29. Nori Chan
    October 30th, 2006 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

    … You’d think witches would normally eat babies or something, like in Hanzel and Gretel. Or possibly bathe in baby blood to retain their youth.

    But if Family Circus actually made a joke about that, it might actually be *gasp!* funny.

  30. Dingo
    October 30th, 2006 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

    #20 Barkie: The problem with the setup of this site is I made that comment two sets of postings ago.

    Here’s what I’m hoping for tomorrow’s Foob: the coffin fails to open, ala This is Spinal Tap, and Apwil’s secret weapon remains that. A secret. HeccebaR comes out and rocks the house, the Canucks go apeshit for her, and Apwil and Uncie Phil drive home together in awkward silence. When they arrive home, it’s announced that while they were away, Grampa Chinnuts died. Apwil walks slowly to the creek behind the house, walks in, and allows the current to take her away. On the banks, the ghost of Farley laughs maniacally.

  31. Genetic Mishap
    October 30th, 2006 at 11:54 pm [Reply]

    Hello, this is my first time commenting after several weeks of browsing through the archives when I should have been working in class. I was wondering if Josh accepted t-shirt designs- I too desire hose-o-phonium.
    So instead of working on my mid-term, I made this:

    http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c400/Genetic_Mishap/hosephone.jpg

    It may not be famous, but it’s gonna be FUN!

  32. arto
    October 31st, 2006 at 12:00 am [Reply]

    How many Stevie Nicks impersonators had to die to make those costumes, Apwil? People for the Ethical Treatment of the ’70s are gonna be super pissed.

  33. Doc Bill
    October 31st, 2006 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    I had an opportunity to time the clerk at our local DMV and she was remarkably efficient at about 4 minutes per customer. Of course, there were 10,000 of us in line. Chit-chat simply added unnecessary time to an otherwise efficient process.

    Those of us behind Mrs. Dr. Morgan would have been muttering, “Get a rope!”

  34. Dactyl
    October 31st, 2006 at 12:19 am [Reply]

    Didn’t Gasoline Alley already do a DMV story this year? Isn’t there a legal limit on DMV stories in the comics? Maybe I’m overreacting, but watching these characters wrestle with the DMV makes me want to poke myself in the eyes with something very, very sharp.
    DMV DMV DMV DMV DMV DMV DMV DMV DMV DMV DMV DMV DMV DMV DMV DMV DMV

    Also – A3G. I’m sorry, I normally love Margo, but here she’s made screwing with her head so easy that even Luanne can do it. And Luanne’s switch from smug passive-agressive to concerned friend in the last two panels is not even remotely believable. She’s got 40 years of roommatery resentment stored up, and Eric “Hat Man” Mills is just the catalyst she needed to seek some easy revenge.

  35. Jennifer
    October 31st, 2006 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    #10 Harry etc.

    No, I’m telling you: it’s an homage to the BRADY BUNCH! Those are THE BRADY KIDS’ COSTUMES!

    They’re calling from inside the house!!!!!

  36. Amber
    October 31st, 2006 at 12:23 am [Reply]

    I love Rex Morgan as much as the next sad, sad person, but come ON. The DMV? Honestly. What’s next? Will we sit through an exciting two weeks while June cancels her credit cards on the phone? A month of strips devoted to getting a new library card? And maybe, someday, in 2012, June will once again get enough stamps on her new sub club card to get that 10th sub free.

  37. Mysterio
    October 31st, 2006 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    The most recent installment of Mallard Fillmore is like a small child sticking out his tounge and saying “This is you! Blaah!”. Unlike a small child, Mallard is unlikely to choke on a small toy if left unattended. More’s the pity.

  38. KitsuneWarlock
    October 31st, 2006 at 12:31 am [Reply]

    Believe it or not, I ONCE in my life had a good trip to the DMV. It was fast, the service was friendly and there were no lines. People were helpful and even a bit LENIENT.

    AND it was in southern California. Go figure.

  39. JonboyDC
    October 31st, 2006 at 12:31 am [Reply]

    A3G — Is that a rare sighting of Margo with her hair down? When was the last time we saw that? It makes her look so pretty and soft — I hate it.

  40. Weasel Boy
    October 31st, 2006 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    At first glance, it looks like Billy is offering Jeffy and PJ a swig from a bottle of Jack Daniels. Maybe they could all drive off a cliff afterwards.

  41. Proteus
    October 31st, 2006 at 12:40 am [Reply]

    I think Billy just ripped the torso off Jeffy’s hula doll and he’s giving it back with attitude. Well, that’s what I think, anyway.

  42. Poteet
    October 31st, 2006 at 12:52 am [Reply]

    #36 — Congratulations, Amber, I think you’ve got a good shot at COTW with that one!

    Come to think of it, I just went through six weeks of incredibly boring paper drama due to a messed-up truck title. Maybe I should send the details to Woody and Graham.

  43. Splinky
    October 31st, 2006 at 1:13 am [Reply]

    It seems to me like we’re all overlooking the expression of pure evil on Billy’s face. I think this is less Billy telling a joke than it is Billy preparing his siblings for the traditional Keane family Satanic initiation rites. I have a feeling that tomorrow’s strip will be a follow-up of “And this goat’s head is the vessel from which we drink the blood of the virgin.”

    I suspect that Jeffy’s expression comes from the fact that he just realized what all that screaming from the basement is about.

  44. Christian
    October 31st, 2006 at 1:14 am [Reply]

    That looks a bit like Silent Bob behind June.

  45. Poteet
    October 31st, 2006 at 1:15 am [Reply]

    Halloween:

    Foob — Oy, ouch, my brain is melting. Thank you for this site, Josh — it would be so painful to have to follow this ridiculous story by myself. It’s painful enough even with company.

    MT — Please, let it be Snake and Jake boinking. . Please.

    RMMD — I sense a lynch mob forming behind June. Go, mob, go!

    MW — I smell Tommy spirit!

    JP — Okay, this isn’t even REMOTELY subtle. Geez. Everyone’s getting some except poor Abbey.

  46. Alex Blase
    October 31st, 2006 at 1:27 am [Reply]

    HOLY MOLY! Momma Jr. realized her mother’s strip was so lame today that she’s going to join the pluggers!
    Tomorrow we’ll see “A plugger can only score women that have a genetic predisposition to shrinking to half their original size.”

  47. muskox
    October 31st, 2006 at 1:32 am [Reply]

    As a professional musician who has performed a few hundred times in just about every situation imaginable, I have yet to see a curtain in front of me. 1930 was a long time ago, lady.

  48. Splinky
    October 31st, 2006 at 1:33 am [Reply]

    #44 You know, Kevin Smith has written his fair share of comic books over the years. Maybe he’s branching out. Personally, I would LOVE to see his take on Rex Morgan, MD.

  49. Kate
    October 31st, 2006 at 1:37 am [Reply]

    You know who’s underneath 4Evah and Eva’s sheet? Aldo.

  50. Sango
    October 31st, 2006 at 1:38 am [Reply]

    Family Circus: Making grim undertones of familial emotional abuse funny for over 40 years.

    Wait. That neither feels nor sounds right.

    Family Circus: Making grim undertones of familial emotional abuse funny for over 40 years.

    Much better.

  51. Ouish
    October 31st, 2006 at 1:57 am [Reply]

    43: It seems to me like we’re all overlooking the expression of pure evil on Billy’s face.

    How right you are, Splinky.

  52. fillmoreeast
    October 31st, 2006 at 2:06 am [Reply]

    10/31:

    Foob: Yay! Rebeccah’s all sulky! We’re supposed to feel good about this, right?

    Right?

    … guys?

    I can’t imagine how I might have reacted had this “band” played this “song” at a party when I was in high school. Stunned disbelief, probably, followed by throwing heavy objects stageward.

    More awful lyrics, too. Thanks, Lynn! I defy anyone here to figure out how to make music out of this.

    And in the collection of severed heads in panel 3, I’m not sure which one is most disturbing: the pumpkinny creature, the Furry in the lower right, or … no, we have a winner. It’s the fuzzy thing(gggg) in the lower left, whose face appears to consist of a soullessly staring pair of eyes AND NOTHING ELSE.

  53. Opus
    October 31st, 2006 at 2:10 am [Reply]

    Could April look more condescending towards Shannon? And this when she’s the one who’s about to go out on stage and make a complete and utter ass of herself. Shannon, on the other hand, has the good sense to avoid even being seen in the audience for this fiasco.

    And what the hell are they wearing, anyway?

  54. Edward
    October 31st, 2006 at 3:04 am [Reply]

    Okay, today’s Get Fuzzy is the proverbial last straw. I have patiently waited through several weeks of the author’s complete inability to understand that NOT ALL BRITS ARE COCKNEYS, and that not every ‘cute’ British expression is found in every dialect. But today, he gets the currency wrong. Pound notes haven’t been printed for 20 years, and I haven’t even seen one in 15 at least. You’ll occassionally get a Scottish £1 note, and maybe a Northern Ireland one, but there ARE NO £1 ENGLISH NOTES. NONE. (and hey! We don’t use the word ‘bills’ to refer to money. Notes.) I mean, if YOU were going to write about a foreign country, and include details about it, wouldn’t you maybe…I don’t know…ASK SOMEONE ABOUT IT? Or maybe VISIT?

    Okay, maybe this is a bit strong, but I’m really sick of it. And ‘Mac’ has a date with a burlap sack, a bridge, and a fast moving stream.

  55. Mr. Barkie
    October 31st, 2006 at 3:24 am [Reply]

    # 30

    Dingo, the problem with the setup of this site is I don’t know what you’re talking about.

    Anyway, if you already said that April should break her leg, well, all I can say is, good work and I “second” that “motion.”

    Maybe Shannon will get freaked by Uncle Phil’s Enemaphonium stab him. That would be cool.

  56. Mibbitmaker
    October 31st, 2006 at 3:46 am [Reply]

    10/31:

    FOOB: Oh, my God!… panel 2… stupidest thing I’ve seen in my life! They can’t possibly – wait! Th-the audience loves this bizarre hokum?? Wha’? An’…an’… “They’re too good”?!? Wha’ t’hell??? Yeah, go to hell, comic strip!

    SM: Flattop Schickelgruber fired Peter’s ass over last week? That long-dead dictator has no sense of humor!

    FW: Oh, the gasp-worthy runaway bit. That’s how they deny us a girlfight. I wonder about A3G…. (in general terms, that is)…

    A3G: There’s still hope. Faster, Quotycat, Kill, Kill! I mean, the woman snorted. Snorted! Is that a first?

    BBailey: Nah, Harvey Kurtzman and Will Elder did it vastly better in Mad (seriously, the most chillingly satirical ending ever! “After all, it’s only a duck”. The Walker brigade couldn’t even come close.)

    Dilbert: Dilbert has a MOUTH! And a BIG one! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!

  57. maidhc
    October 31st, 2006 at 3:47 am [Reply]

    The last time I had to renew my driver’s license I made an appointment online and I was in and out of the DMV in about 10 minutes.

    I did see a whole lot of pluggers standing in the long “non-appointment” line, though.

  58. Mibbitmaker
    October 31st, 2006 at 4:03 am [Reply]

    Monty: Ew! Ew! Ew!

    Foxtrot: Ew! Ew! Ew!

    Blondie: “…Plus, you don’t have a stem on your head”. I just like that line.

  59. Dr. Laura
    October 31st, 2006 at 4:44 am [Reply]

    When I first glanced at those stupid costumes, I thought that the band members were being consumed by flames, a la Michael Jackson’s head during that Pepsi commercial. Imagine my disappointment!

  60. Fred P.
    October 31st, 2006 at 6:27 am [Reply]

    So April’s Halloween costume involves long hair, an acoustic guitar and a fringe-y top. What, is she dressing up as some hippie folksinger from the 1960′s or something? Because that really is pretty frightening.

  61. gleeb
    October 31st, 2006 at 6:50 am [Reply]

    Dr Mrs Morgan had about 80 numbers before her. An hour later, she’s being seen to. That’s less than a minute per person; Morgan-DMV rocks!

    Seriously, though, today, we see she hasn’t made any attempt to gather the correct ID. Sheesh! They can’t change the law, just for you, Doc.

  62. Von Zeppelin
    October 31st, 2006 at 7:04 am [Reply]

    A3G–Eric is (per Margo) a “Cad!” What happened to all that @#%&*$ from her mouth in the past few days? Maybe all that symbology doesn’t mean the traditional comic cusswords that we assumed. We thought she was saying “asshole.” Actually, *@*$%& means “base scoundrel,” or possibly “lowborn rogue.”

    Now that I think of it, it seems that the writing bullpen at King Features Syndicate is slowly being taken over by 18th-century Brighton fops or Restoration dramatists. Think about it. “I refuse to believe you prefer to be alone!” “I will not be denied!” What 21st-century American actually talks that way?

    You’ll see. It will slowly work its way into all of our favorite strips. The next time Elvis the Junkie slaps Niki around, he’ll say, “By my oath, you young jackanapes, you’ll show proper respect for your betters! I’ll warrant you’ll guard your tongue more closely in future.”

  63. Stevie Naive
    October 31st, 2006 at 7:10 am [Reply]

    I can’t wait until Mrs. Morgan gets in the wrong line at the turnpike toll booth or is early for her semi-annual teeth cleaning. The suspense is killing me already.

  64. smacky
    October 31st, 2006 at 7:16 am [Reply]

    # 56: A3G: Look again, Margo didn’t snort, she said “Snort…” She actually SAID “Snort…”

    FOOB: Beckster is going to pull a wardrobe malfunction and drop her top. It’s the only way to make the audience forget the amazing talent of a grown man in a sheet playing an enema hose.

    And Winkerbean completely cheated us out of a French maid fight! There’s still a chance she’ll wipe the vomit off her chin and make a clumsy pass at Spider-Ringo to make French Fry boy jealous.

  65. smacky
    October 31st, 2006 at 7:22 am [Reply]

    (DT)GT: If you were dating someone and discovered that your mother had had sex repeatedly with your date’s father over 20 years ago… would you continue dating the person? Or would it suddenly feel like incest?

  66. Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
    October 31st, 2006 at 7:25 am [Reply]

    FBOFW: Of course the crowd goes wild when Uncle Phil comes out of the coffin. Every party gets better when somebody shows up with a beer bong.

  67. Tukla in Iowa
    October 31st, 2006 at 7:32 am [Reply]

    There sure is a lot of subletting going on in Mary Worth. I’ve lived in six apartments under different owners, and none of them allowed subletting.

  68. Mr. Doob
    October 31st, 2006 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    If Uncle Phil is a true jazz musician, he’s totally hopped up on heroine at this point.

    And..please…someone…explain…why…Shannon…talks….like…this… Do…retarded….people…speak…normally…but..pause…two…seconds…between…words….?

    I refuse to believe that Johnson lacks the sophistication to realistically and believably portray a “developmentally challenged” person. And Shannon’s sole purpose is not to demonstrate how kind and compassionate April is, right? She obviously has a much greater role in the narrative, right?

  69. Mr. Doob
    October 31st, 2006 at 8:16 am [Reply]

    …heroin…

  70. Jennifer
    October 31st, 2006 at 8:19 am [Reply]

    See? Big Top is AWESOME!

    Just needed to share that.

  71. Krazy Kat
    October 31st, 2006 at 8:22 am [Reply]

    and there’s Uncle Phil, right on cue, swingin’ his hose

  72. Tukla in Iowa
    October 31st, 2006 at 8:23 am [Reply]

    MT: Look out, Mark! Jack Elrod is going to run you down with his motorcycle!

  73. Anthony Cartouche
    October 31st, 2006 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    If you Google “pluggers,” this is the first thing that comes up:

    Pluggerville
    Almost surreal single-panel daily cartoon, by Gary Brookins.
    http://www.pluggers.com/ – 8k – Cached – Similar pages

    The only thing surreal about this is the notion that the word “surreal” almost describes the cartoon.

  74. Ohyes
    October 31st, 2006 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    A3G – Well, since Eric has been plying Margo with champagne and making her wait for it and then f**king her all the livelong day, all for the price of a party deposit, it IS a bit caddish to meet alone with her roommate in an empty, empty loft and smirk at her.

  75. Ohyes
    October 31st, 2006 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    Now FBOFW should have a good lesson about how it’s cheating to use a solo routine by a disguised, adult, professional musician as the highpoint of your school talent show performance.

    And other adults should frown at Uncle Phil about why exactly he wanted to hang with April and her friends and help them cheat.

  76. hogenmogen
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    #`13 – Harry says “FOOB: So what happens if 4evah wins? Poor Beckster goes out and drowns her misery in alcohol, and by morning she’s not just roadside, she’s I-95side!”

    I think if April wins, Beckster should get drunk and go out for a wild night on the town with the French maid in Funky Winkerbean, where they will drown their sorrows in vodka-cranberry concoctions and eventually find solace in each other’s arms. Yeah, baby!

    We had a little Halloween lunch at work. Everyone was saying that they were going to dress up, but no one did. Everyone, that is, with the exception of yours truly. My God, when did my life become a TDIET?

    Speaking of which, today’s strip is lame as usual. First, obviously the joke teller has forgotten the punch line and is only stalling for time. Second, maybe “Come and get it while it’s hot!” is a better punch line than what Barfo had in mind. Third, are we to blame the hostess for announcing that the food is ready? This woman has been selflessly slaving away in the kitchen while everyone else socialized. Now they’re making her the enemy? Oh yeah! Fourth, since everyone present has immediately turned away from Barfo, it is obvious that they had lost interest in his excruciating circus joke about an hour ago, y’hear?

    Today’s Marmaduke: Marm is a big dog! Ha ha ha ha!

  77. Joe
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    Family Circus is completely divorced from reality. What child under the age of 95 would use the term “whisk broom?” I suppose next we’ll see a joke about Jeffy wondering what Pa Keane’s spitoon is really for (hint: he doesn’t spit in it).

  78. OnandonAnon
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    #54: I’m inclined to cut GF a bit of slack… after all, he did go to the trouble of getting most of the expressions correct. Mac is from Manchester, so not a Cockney. I don’t think he is supposed to be one, because he never drops his aitches. A lot of details are correct, such as noticing that Manchester people are sometimes City fans, not United. So put yer plates up, ‘ave anuvver cuppa, mate, and realise that this strip means being a Limey is cool again!

  79. Devil in the Drain
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    Phantom: Could someone here who knows about guns tell me what The Phantom is doing with his non-gun hand in today’s strip? Is it karate?

    MW: Just want to point out that some of us called it — Ella Zbien is a psychic — a few days before it happened.

    Curtis: No stupider than usual, but stupid. “Mommy said I could go trick-or-treating as an ugly little hobgoblin.” No she didn’t! No mother in her right mind says anything like that. Even if her kid is going to dress up like a goblin.

    (DT)GT: I love this plot. “Decades ago, the seeds of anger were planted. Now, unknowing children must eat the fruit of betrayal.” The incoherent, boring, fruit, but still.

  80. jules
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    Okay, I am about to lose all Curmudeonly cred…but this morning’s FBOFW made me laugh a little bit. There’s Uncle Phil on the Foob-o-phonium, dressed as a ghost, and the kids are clearly playing this for fun, as opposed to “Look how much cooler and better we are than Becca!” Because with a ghost playing a Foob-o-phonium, they are clearly neither cool nor good – they’re just having fun – and I laughed a little bit.

    I’m sure they’ll find a way to ruin this bit of good-natured fun, though. They’ll do it every time!

  81. jules
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    I meant “Curmudgeonly.” Way to proofread!

  82. hogenmogen
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Luann – Our choice of story arcs is thus:
    1) Luann pining for Aaron Hill and not finding success.
    2) Brad pining for Tony Daytona and not finding success.

    Why can’t they portray the adventures of real teen agers, which, if I remember my own youth was sort of like chasing after girls who didn’t know I existed, and if they did acknowledge me always dumped me in the “friend” category… Oh, so maybe Luann is frighteningly realistic after all….

  83. Justafoob
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    I still say they should have brought out Gwampa with his guitar.

    The kids would have thought he was a zombie from the “Day of the Dead” and gone wild.

    After all, it is about HUMILIATING the Beckster, isn’t it? Why stop at bringing in a ringer to humiliate her, bring up your drooling Gwampa too. And to drive that final nail into her coffin, have the noble ‘tard ssssss….sSSSSSS …. SSSSSHHH….SSSShaaannnoooo get chased by the “zombies”.

    The high school kids would eat it up and boo the Beckster off the stage. That would be great, seeing as she is from a broken home and has a crappy life to begin with. Let her know that if you are not a Saint Patterson, you are shit.

  84. SmartPeopleOnIce
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    It’s Halloween…and what could be more frightening than Pluggers!

    10/30 A Plugger’s clock is always correct twice a day, if you know what I mean.

    And wouldn’t the whole “daylight savings time” thing be frowned upon in Pluggerstan? Like evolution and contraception, isn’t it one of those bed-wetting east coast librurrl inventions?

    P1: Hey Bob, saw ya fiddlin’ wit yer truck clock.
    P2: Yeah, just wanna be on time for my AA meets.
    P1: Sorry Bob, you know the rules. That’s God’s time you’re trying to change.
    P2: Aw, shucks. Well, lemme go get the kids…

    Then they drag Bob out to the cement pond and stone him ala The Lottery.

    10/28 Oh, empty nester my ass. Plugger kids live in their parent’s basement and, um, post rambing comments on comics blogs. Let’s move on.

    10/25 Two words: “you’re next”.

    10/24 Isn’t aardvark lady married to rhino guy? Alternate caption: You’re a Plugger if you car cover is your husband’s underpants.

    Give’s a whole new meaning to “car bra”. Or “new car smell”.

    Thank you. Vote early and often.

  85. hogenmogen
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    #79 – Devil says “Could someone here who knows about guns tell me what The Phantom is doing with his non-gun hand”?

    I don’t know much about guns, but would that hand be cocking the gun? That looks like an old western gun fighter’s stance when they used revolvers.

    See, here’s why I think Phantom, despite it’s problems, is the best serial out there. Phantom shooting the guns out of a villian’s hand so he can let his pet wolf rip his throat out. What’s going on in Rex? June Morgan has problems at the DMV. What’s up with Mary Worthless? Iris talks about her talk with the new resident. Mark Trail: Recap of yesterday, with a bonus third panel that has been used like 20 times before. Elrod didn’t even bother to fill in the background, just sort of replaced it with a nauseating Lockhorn-green.

  86. pelagius
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    In today’s Judge Parker, it looks like Raju finally found an American who loves him for who he is.

  87. Concerned Citizen
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    #8 – Speaking of color, what sort of race is Eva? Sometimes she’s black, sometimes she’s white, sometimes something in between. She’s either a shape-shifter, Michael Jackson, or the perfect iconic comic character. As somebody has pointed out before, she bares a strong resemblence to Storm. If the ultimate in lame bands can’t upstage yet another vapid pop song tart, Eva can whip a little mutant power on her ass.

  88. JohnWadd
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    FW: flygirl recoils in virginal horror after fryboy offers to “supersize it” for her

  89. td
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    Wait, they worked “hose-a-phonium” into the lyrics?! Good god, I’ve got to get some of what they’re smoking up there in canada!

  90. TaxiGirl
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    Somewhere in this fair land of ours, someone was in fact reading that Rex Morgan strip while waiting in line at the DMV. They looked at the paper, looked around at the same dismal bureaucratic hell, saw that woman with the beehive, black lipstick and cat’s eye glasses… and then there was a loud explosion. And now, somewhere in America’s heartland, there is no longer anywhere to go to register your new ATV.

    Unrelatedly, I dreamed last night that a Family Circus strip was funny, and in fact shocking. Actually, in my dream, it was just the FC kids standing in a yard yelling obscenities, but in a childishly-endearing way. It was also a Sunday strip. It also claimed to be a re-run from 1974.

  91. Pozzo
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    Don’t know if anybody’s called our attention to this but—

    “For Evah and Eva, you’re on in 3…2..1…”

    And they’re all still backstage!

  92. hogenmogen
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Foob: They’re Canadian. Shouldn’t Uncle Phil be referred to as the “hoser”?

  93. Kate
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    I bet it’s Aldo playing the hose-o-phonium! I bet! It’s Aldo!

    Can’t anyone hear me? ALDO!

  94. rich
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    FOOB would’ve been slightly more realistic if instead of grousing “They’re too good,” RebeccaH had said “They’re so bad they’re good.” …based on the evidence before us, that would seem the more accurate appraisal.

    An’, I’m not really getting how one draws out that “g” sound, as in “It’s the ultrasonic hose-a-phonic thingggggggg”… “thiiiing” or “thinnnng” at least would make sense. (Or did Unca Phil teach them how to be Tuvan throat-singers, as well?)

  95. JB2
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    As soon as Phil hooked up the hose-o-phonium last week I got a sick feeling in my stomach. I began to dread the next few days.

    The auditorium full of dim-witted Canadian teenagers overcome with sheer unadulterated joy was worse than my worst nightmares.

  96. Francis
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    I think this Family Circus is symbolic of the slow passing of the weak, flickering, unfunny torch from Bil Keane to Jeff Keane. Billy (representing Bil) is making a lame joke to show Jeffy (Jeff) how it’s done, and Jeff(y) is sad because he understands that once Bil(ly) passes from this life, he will have no choice but to write jokes that are equally lame until he dies as well.

  97. Archivalist
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    Meanwhile, PJ is standing rigidly at attention. “See you in Baghdad in 2018, PJ! Love, Co-President Jenna Bush.”

  98. Poteet
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    #76 — Hogenmogen, please tell us what your costume was. And if you, unlike your colleagues, mean what you say, you are upholding the moral fabric of society.

    Foob — I’m sure some Curmudgeon could not only come up with the rest of the lyrics to “The Hose-A-Phonic Thing” but also a melody. Not that anyone should. And let’s look at the bright side — Uncle Phil looks a lot better in this strip than in his last one, and maybe in the next strip, Beckers will be facing us. Her top looks promising.

  99. Leslee
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    We’ve gone far too long this morning without anyone pointing out that it could be Silent Bob standing in line at the DMV.

    Moving on.

  100. Old Fogeyette
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    Watch Your Head is causing me a small existential crisis. On his Popeness’ recommendation I checked it out, and decided to add it to my daily comics page (for which I pay about $15 a year) from Ucomics. But I have too many comics so something had to go.

    I realized that lately I had not been reading either Elderberries or Cathy. I used to love Cathy, because her life mirrored my own. Really. This was a long, long, time ago. And my mom was more like Crankshaft than Cathy’s mom, but still.

    As for Elderberries, I used to work in a retirement home, and found it very true to life and often LOL funny.

    So–even though I have grown to hate Cathy, I once loved it so much that I feel bad about tossing it under the train. So I jettisoned Elderberries, mostly because the art is so bad it makes me want to puke.

    Who ever said comics are just for momentary entertainment?

  101. Josh (not THE Josh)
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    #31: You are my hero.

    #68: Shannon has developmentally disabling asthma, obviously.

    #94: I absolutely agree with you. RebekkcckkaHHH can’t possibly be scared about the talent level of 4Evah and Eva and Creepy Uncle Phil. In fact, I’m beginning to think that Foobville has lost touch with reality. Just a little.

  102. anne
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    62. Von Zeppelin: nice. And what’s with LuAnne’s reaction? “Margo — No!! Don’t say the word ‘cad’! It’s horrible! My — my virgin ears can’t take it!”

    Shit what else was I going to say… oh yeah. Noone has mentioned that the hose-o-phonium looks like a beer bong yet today! Get it? It looks like a beer bong!

  103. andreavis
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    Fear not RebeccaH, those FOOBish kids in the audience were laughing at the bongophonium– nasty, jeering, Carrie-at-the-prom laughter. 4evah’s humiliation will reverberate in the school halls for months.

    I never thought I’d say this, but I’d rather look at Grandpa Chinnut’s stroke recovery than this lame-ass battle o’ the bands.

  104. some guy
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    FOOB: So yesterday, the band takes the stage (in 3..2..1) and Uncle Phil has been waiting in that coffin for how long? The only explanation is that he’s been shooting up in there.

    Today, the kids go berserk as Uncle Phil’s ghost sheet only goes down to his waist (see panel 2) and he’s got nothing on underneath! It’s the rare double hose-a-phonic thingggg and the kids love it! Apes noticed it in panel 1.

    This may be the worst FOOB yet. I fear for tomorrow.

    Wait til they got a look at Rebacca’s cleaveage.

    “They’re too good.” Well duh. You can’t compete against TWO saintly Pattersons (in-laws count as saints).

  105. anne
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    28, 44, and 99 — I think the guy behind June in line looks sorta like Ice Cube. June, you’d better watch out, or he’s gonna have ta wetcha. You’d better check yourself before you wriggity-wreck yourself.

  106. hogenmogen
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    #98 – Poteet – I was the Joker from Batman. Back in the early ’90′s, zoot suits got another 15 mintues of fame. At minute 14:59, I was somehow taken by a garrishly purple one, and well,… that plus an orange shirt, green tie, white face paint and green hair will get you a slick costume.

  107. Krazy Kat
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    There’s an evil creepin up
    And it’s about to drive you wild
    There are creatures in the shadows
    And their gonna getcha, child!
    There are witches brewin’ poison
    And there are phantoms in their stew
    And the graveyards are a rockin’
    Because ol death is stalkin’ you!
    The crypt is opening wider and a ghoul is coming out
    He’s carrying an instrument
    He’s waving it all about
    What’s that sound
    It’s all around
    It’s the Ultrasonic
    Hose-a-Phonic
    Thinnnngggg!
    Hear it swing!

    Ok folks you take it from here!

  108. hogenmogen
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    Foob: “They’re too good! Quick, we need something even better!” She sends the drummer out to chow down as much beans as his stomach can fit, then sit on a microphone. “They have their hose-a-phoney-um, we have a fart-a-phone!”

    Before any old Curmudgeons point it out, this idea premiered in Hollywood Knights, starring Tony Danza.

  109. mattt
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    #99 see #44

    A3G- “Margo-NO!” No? No what? Is “The cad!” Margospeak for “I’m going to call him and give him a piece of my mind!” or “I’m going to leave him a message for him to call me so I can give him piece of my mind!” or (in a Very Special Halloween A3G) “I’m going to go over there and serve him his own entrails for lunch!” ?

    BC-Oh, hey, a baggy pants joke. Don’t cut yourself on that edge, Hart.

    BB-Oh, hey, a Disney characters clothes joke. Walkers, see above.

    Doonesbury-A Twinkies joke. Is everybody just phoning them in today?

    S-M- Peter gets fired by JJJ again. He shouldn’t be too worried since MJ’s gonna be a famous movie star. Wasn’t she already a famous model? Why did he need to work? Why do they live in that ratty old apartment? What did they blow all her money on? Spidey’s only consumable when crime-fighting is his web fluid, and it can’t be that expensive since he was able to buy those ingredients as a teenager.

    Meh.

  110. Rick
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    Phil is coming out. And waving his instrument about. His hose-a-phonic thingggggggg.

  111. AhClem
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    How do we know for certain that the ghost with the Enemaphone is really Uncle Phil? He’s probably passed out in his room from JD and cocaine.

    Me? I’m betting it’s Granthony.

  112. Splinky
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    #76 – Yup. The Marm sure is big. And that’s why he’s the world’s greatest threat to human freedom!

  113. LittleGuy
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    Crossover time!

    “A Canadian Plugger can upstage any act with a Hose-A-Phonium.”

  114. Indiebass
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    Happy Halloween everyone! I am at work dressed as an airline pilot covered in snakes. Some have gotten it, some haven’t. Regardless, I’ve had it with these mother[MARGO]ing snakes.

    Funky Winkerbean : WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY DELICIOUS CATFIGHT??? And is that blonde crying because she is upset because: a) Frylock almost sort of kissed a girl that wasn’t her, b) she is uncomfortable with any interracial public affection, or c) the booze she just threw up in her mouth made her tear because it burned her esophogus,which was already raw from the bulemia? Oh, and why is the redheaded Raggedy Ann on the left SO HAPPY that another girl is fleeing the party in tears?

    Judge Parker Bow-chicka-WOW-wow Raju has finally found someone to share the love which dares not speak its own name.

    Foob: You have GOT. To. Be. F[MARGO]ing. Kidding me. “They’re good. TOO good.” Did Lynn Johnston forget to tell us that somehow Rebecca got teleported to a Who concert, or did she conveniently forget to tell us that Rebecca chews three peyote buttons before she performs every night? Because that’s the only way that last panel even REMOTELY makes sense.

  115. Krazy Kat
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    The dead are all so happy
    They no longer feel the pain
    Of livin here in Canada
    Where life is so inane
    And all you Foobs
    And Roadside chicks
    Can join him in his song
    He’s turnin’ the Hose-a-Phona-thinnggg
    Into a great big BONG!
    bbweettweetrrrggkkprrrggghtyyyeeeee!!!!

    Then they break into “Blitzkrieg Bop” everyone starts slammin’ and when Rebeccah comes out to do her Celine Dion schtick she gets pounded by Milk Duds
    The End

  116. fuzzmaster
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    So another foob plot crawls toward its inevitable but implausible conclusion with the slow and awkward grace of a circus elephant in a tutu. It’s like a movie where the camera pans slowly over a line of whipped-cream-covered pies in the background of a diplomatic reception. FBoFW manages to make the Dick and Jane books seem like swift concatenations of O. Henryish dramatic twists. It’s as if … oh, heck, I’ve clearly already put more thought into this post than Lynn has into the entire last year of strips.

  117. cheech wizard
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    FOOB jumped the shark long ago. Today, the shark threw up.

    So, Becky’s band can bring the house down by trotting out a guy in a sheet blowing on a hose? My, these Canadians are simple creatures. Fortunately for Becky, she has her own secret weapon – can you say “wardrobe malfunction”?

  118. King Folderol
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    I think Jeffy might be doing what I was doing when I saw this stupid strip: wondering if Billy thinks babies are the size of bacteria and take a super long time to grow into the size of PJ. Jeffy, who knows better even though he’s the younger brother, doesn’t know how to break the news to Billy, and has to deal with the taunts at school because his brother is constantly saying stupid things like this in public. If Jeffy is the Robert F. Kennedy of the family, Billy is Ted Kennedy. No wonder he looks so sad.

    FBOFW – Rebecca’s pretty damn stupid. I’ll do the same thing as Josh and suspend my disbelief and assume that the crowd does love this unspeakably cheesy act. The reason you have any kind of record contract, Rebecca, has nothing to do with your voice or your musical ability…it has everything to do with your attractive-in-a-non-threatening-way looks. You think a 5 foot 2, 170 pound teenaged girl with a great voice is going to get a record deal over the Britney Spears lookalike with marginal talent? Yeah, sure.

    RMMD – Once again, Rex Morgan veers off to the left. Last time it was the Iraqi vet with his anti-war message of being a soldier leads to drug and gambling problems. Now the post 9-11 world is surely going to be deemed responsible for the fact that June needs a photo ID to get a license. Damn terrorists!

    Luann – What’s even worse is that this is probably the 6th time that Luann has done this Luann and Aaron rehash. Greg Evans should at least give out a free toaster or something when he runs a storyline 6 times or more to the 12 faithful readers he has out there.

  119. anne
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    115, Krazy Kat — yay!

  120. Bill James
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    Don’t know if anyone noticed, but there’s a double-dose of vomit today: Funky Winkerbean and Stone Soup. Who know’s there may be more, I haven’t read all the comics yet.

  121. treadwell
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    Since when do ghosts come out coffins, anyway?

    Still, when Uncle Phil returns home, he can tell his friends how much fun he had at his father’s stroke.

  122. Kyle
    October 31st, 2006 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    I’m physically unable to comment on the FOOB right now, except to say that everything every one of you has said is true, but in the meantime I’m afraid I’ve finally figured out where the Raju plotline is going on Judge Parker, and if Boat-Wrestlin-Bobby gets Raju into State College, that will blow even harder than a plot about not making assumptions about people based on first appearances. Hell, it’ll blow harder than a ghost blows a hose-a-phonium.

  123. rich
    October 31st, 2006 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    115: That was great, Krazy Kat! By the way, I’ve had Jonnya’s version of the song stuck in my head for days…and it’s not altogether unpleasant!

  124. Harry Paratestes
    October 31st, 2006 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    Given the recent themes of Grandpa Chinnuts’ stroke and April’s crappy band, I would think an appropriate song might be “Trying Your Luck” from ‘The Strokes’.

  125. Krazy Kat
    October 31st, 2006 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    Yeah, I gotta give it up for Jonnya.
    I can’t imagine that was what was playing in Lynn’s head when she conceived the strip, but it rocks!
    Now add a Hose-a Phonium break

  126. Widdle Jeffy
    October 31st, 2006 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    Jeffy’s and PJ’s expressions in the 10/30 FC say it all.

    PJ has no idea what is going on, but Jeffy know just where the whisk broom is going to end up, again. Jeffy prays that Billy will never get tall enough to get the mop down by himself. As it stands now, every time Jeffy hears the broom closet door open, his sphincter tightens in dred.

    Jeff Keane certainly is working out his issues he has/had with his family via the circled ‘toon. Sadly, we all have to watch this public laundry airing. And like a car crash, we cannot turn away.

  127. rich
    October 31st, 2006 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    JP: When Reggie Black’s “family values” spies get a load of the homosexual wrestling orgy happening on Sam Driver’s front porch, Randy Parker’s campaign will have some splainin’ to do! October surprise, anyone?

  128. Len
    October 31st, 2006 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    More about wildlife can be found online in Sunday’s Mark Trail strip.

    http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20061031&name=Beetle_Bailey

  129. dimestore lipstick
    October 31st, 2006 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    I love Rex Morgan as much as the next sad, sad person, but come ON. The DMV? Honestly. What’s next? Will we sit through an exciting two weeks while June cancels her credit cards on the phone? A month of strips devoted to getting a new library card? And maybe, someday, in 2012, June will once again get enough stamps on her new sub club card to get that 10th sub free.

    Amber, I fully expect this to make next week’s “comments of the week” post. At the top. Good one!

  130. parkyakarkus
    October 31st, 2006 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    FOOB(#87): I know a young lady who works in Hollywood as a puppeteer and FX specialist, and being that she is half-African-American, she bears an amazing resemblence to Eva…except that lately, she’s been sporting dreadlocks. Really something to see…
    FW: WHAT?? NO CATFIGHT?? WORST–HALLOWEEN–TRICK–EVER–!!
    Luann: Another Aaron Hill Dilemma Rehash? What was it that Gil Grissom said in “CSI”? “…The thing about high school is…eventually, it’s over.” But Luann is never leaving high school…or Aaron Hill country…never…never…never…

  131. Phil the Wonder Pig
    October 31st, 2006 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    fbofw:
    “They’re too good.”??!! She’s worrying about getting upstaged by a novelty act? That’s like Britney Spears feeling threatened by a group playing ‘The Monster Mash’.

    ‘They did the Monster Mash
    It was a graveyard smash.’

    Britney: They’re too good.

    BTW, you can sing 4evah’s song to the tune of ‘These Boots Were Made for Walking’. At least the original lyrics, I don’t know if you can work the hosephonic lyrices into the tune.

  132. Phil the Wonder Pig
    October 31st, 2006 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    Yesterday’s JP: You can almost taste Sam’s relief to hear the “pitter patter of little feet on the porch.” He came so close to having to close his eyes and think of Randy working it like a claw, while he (Sam) did his duty.

    Today’s JP: You can almost taste Abby’s disappointment to learn that Raju is getting it on with Bobby on the front porch. Why, oh why, do all the men in her life have to be gay?

  133. Phil the Wonder Pig
    October 31st, 2006 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    9CL: ew ew ew ew

  134. Len
    October 31st, 2006 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    #114 — Raggedy’s smile is just painted on, Indie.

    And Bobby and Raju are filling each other’s smiles with sweet blond bananas and dark musky mangoes. Fruity, indeed!

    Moron in a Mohawk had to walk home.

  135. dimestore lipstick
    October 31st, 2006 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    smacky–
    Over 20 years ago…wouldn’t bother me.

    My age, plus about nine months? Then, I’d worry.

  136. Phil the Wonder Pig
    October 31st, 2006 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    Phantom:

    “You! In the costume! I’ll kill you!”

    Why did he feel it necessary to point out who he was talking to? It would have been cool if the Phantom had replied, “You talkin’ to me? Well, I’m the only one here.”

  137. Biblio
    October 31st, 2006 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    Ok everybody… Happy Aldoween!

  138. Colleen
    October 31st, 2006 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    Why couldn’t Uncle Phil just play his trumpet? Is he trying to get 4-evah&evaorwhateverthey’recalled in trouble for bringing alcohol paraphenalia to school? Because nothing would make me as happy as April being suspended from school

  139. Holy Prepuce
    October 31st, 2006 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    #10: Ah, but if these were truly George Clinton / Parliament / P-Funk All-Stars cast-offs, wouldn’t Uncle Phil be wearing that sheet around his loins, a la Garry “Diaperman” Shider?

    The intricacy with which FBOFW’s plot lines have woven together makes me wonder–was Grandpa Jim’s stroke just a convenient plot device to get Uncle Phil to town in time for the hallowe’en hose-o-phonium triumph?

  140. David
    October 31st, 2006 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    I occasionally have to delurk in order to defend Lynn Johnston. I get upset when people insult multi-millionaire Ontarians.

    1. Who said it was a talent show? Why not bring in jazzy ol’ Uncle Phil? Why would that be cheating? Who’s getting cheated (other than the readers of the strip)?

    2. Shannon is a joy-killer of a character, and Lynn stole her speaking style from that black wheelchair-bound kid on “Malcolm In The Middle”, but Shannon is loosely based on a real person – a niece of Lynn’s, as I recall. You can criticize Lynn for her cheap sentimentality and manipulation, but don’t criticize her for not creating a character that doesn’t live up to your experience of “challenged”.

    3. Shannon is really, really short. Get used to it.

  141. SmartPeopleOnIce
    October 31st, 2006 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    #86 (Pelaguis) In today’s Judge Parker, it looks like Raju finally found an American who loves him for who he is.

    Maybe he’s just doing some more of that research on “athletic nutrition”….

  142. Justafoob
    October 31st, 2006 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    Unfortunately, Shannon is a prop and not a character.

    Whenever the fooberverse needs someone to speak the noble truth, up pops Shannon. Were she to be characterized as a real person, I would have a lot less trouble with her.

  143. Josh (not THE Josh)
    October 31st, 2006 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    So I was cruising around for other references to hose-o-phoniums. If you google ‘hose-o-phone,’ you get one image of a little girl apparently oblivious to the fact that she’s about to get strangled by one.

    But! I also found two other blogs that are nearly as obsessed about Foobtastic Foobtown as we are here. Thus, some supplementary reading:

    http://aprilsrealblog.blogspot.com/
    and
    http://howtheduck.blogspot.com/

  144. SmartPeopleOnIce
    October 31st, 2006 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    I am intriqued by this plucky Jack Elrod and his bold cliffhanger. Whatever could Mark have stumbled upon?

    a) A bucket of all-white-meat Molly Tenders (with dipping sauce).

    b) Snake and Jake getting a guided tour of Molly’s digestive tract.

    c) Molly and Andy making a Plugger (Sara B., you was robbed!)

    d) Mexican stoplight candy.

    e) A rare specimen of the elusive California Silver Beaver.

    f) The twisted wreckage of a 2006 Asymmetrica.

    Alas, I’m guessing tommorrow the answer will be g) lukewarm plot contrivance.

  145. Concerned Citizen
    October 31st, 2006 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    #130 – Being the simpering Liberal that I am, I didn’t mean that I was as hung up on Eva’s pedigree as an early 20th century Southern legislator. I was merely pointing out that Eva’s skin color changes everyday, as if she was only renting a tan from the tanning booth. This, of course, makes her the only interesting person in the band.

  146. David
    October 31st, 2006 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    Shannon a prop and not a character?

    Sadly, you’re right. And I know that Lynn’s PC-ness (as opposed to her C-penis, I suppose) is what makes her strip so hateful for so many…

  147. fuzzmaster
    October 31st, 2006 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    I wondered about the talent show angle myself, but was far too lazy to go back in Foobtime to see if I’d missed something. If this isn’t a talent show and, as I suspect, the newly renamed 4evah & Eva + A Man (forever and ever amen, get it? huh? Huh?) was signed as the opening act for rockin’-like-Anne-Murray-ish Rebeccah, I can only assume they got the gig because Gallagher was already booked.

  148. Dennis Jimenez
    October 31st, 2006 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    If Becky weren’t so shallow and self centered, she’d see that the beerbongaphonium could be upstaged easily in any Halloween show by the eerie tones of a musical saw or theremin.

  149. Bdizzle
    October 31st, 2006 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    Josh, I think the 10/31 ‘Bizarro’ cartoon was created just for us:

    http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/fun/bizarro.asp

  150. MonkeyHawk
    October 31st, 2006 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    The FOOB Halloween Party/Talent Show seems like a set-up for a plot continuity train wreck waiting to happen.

    I read, RebeccaH’s, “They’re *too* good,” as a hint toward revealing that Uncle Hairy Chinballs is gonna be revealed as a professional ringer in the Talent Contest. Except, RebeccaH is now a pro, right? Either she’s gonna show up with her union musicians or she’s thrown together a band made of classmates who aren’t good enough to make it into 4-Evah+Eva. (The upside there, I suppose, is Shannon might get to play tambourine on stage. But I digress…)

    The only way for this to resolve is for Shannon to show up on stage with RebeccaH and prove to be some sort of Enema-Bong savant, thereby one-upping Apwil’s half-assed superiority as Shannon’s *only* friend who betrayed her at the brink of Shannon’s handi-capable triumph.

    Oh. And Death to Gil Thorp.

  151. Wisconsin
    October 31st, 2006 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    #93 — And here I thought he’d rear his helmet-headed head once more in MW:

    “Oh yes, Mary, you should see Tommy now. Ever since his “break up” with “Tina” he’s put on weight and grown a fine mustache and got just the smartest little page-boy haircut you’ve ever…Mary dear… you’ve gotten so pale…” PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

  152. SixFootJen
    October 31st, 2006 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    We clearly have a RMMD/TDIET crossover going on.

    “D’jever notice — when Mrs. Huffy McDoctorswife is in line at the DMV, all she can focus on is her wait…”

    (June with speech balloon: ‘I’ve been in this line an hour! What’s taking so long?!’)

    “But when it’s her turn at the window, suddenly it’s th’perfect time t’chat!”

    (June to clerk: ‘I love your blouse! Where’d ya get it? Have ya been to that new shop downtown? Such cute fashions! Blah blah blah…” while behind her the standard ‘irate TDIET crowd’ grumbles and fumes.)

  153. David C
    October 31st, 2006 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    #79 – Devil says “Could someone here who knows about guns tell me what The Phantom is doing with his non-gun hand”?

    His hand is in the right position to be “fanning” – a technique used with single-action revolvers to fire very rapidly (albeit usually with poor accuracy.) With a single-action revolver, you have to pull the hammer back manually each time you fire (as opposed to more modern – as in, like, 1870s and later modern – double-action revolvers, where pulling the trigger both pulls back the hammer and lets it go.)

    Of course, the problem is that the Phantom uses automatic pistols, not revolvers of any sort, so what he appears to be doing makes no sense whatsoever.

  154. Donald The Anarchist
    October 31st, 2006 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    All right. My dream has been shattered. My one wish for Foobville was for the curtains to be pulled back, and quick as a wink Apwil’s bandmates slam a HUGE hat emblazoned with the words “World’s Biggest Dork” on her head. Uncle Phil, who was in on the plan all along, pops out of his coffin and joins in the pointing and jeering. In a tribute to “Peanuts,” an entire panel is filled with raucous “HAHAHAHA”s. And the final panel shows Apwil with a tear running down her cheek, thinking, “Well, I guess everyone is having fun…except for me.”

    And when is LuAnn going to admit to herself that “Lian” isn’t anyone’s name. No, LuAnn, Aaron is not misspelling anything. He has been dating a strapping young lad named LIAM, and you’re not going to turn him back. Not even Tiffany could. He’s found his true self, now just be happy for him.

  155. Poteet
    October 31st, 2006 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    #106 –Hogenmogen, thanks. Your workplace doesn’t deserve you.

    Foob — I’m confused (to the tiny extent that I care) about just how famous the Beckers is. She was lamenting to April that the press people follow her every move. Is she fantasizing, or is that true? And if it’s true, why, really, is she slumming at this middle-school gig? And is it possible that the press will be there to watch Becky perform, but will be inexplicably captivated by the ever-so-classy performance of 4-Evah and Eva, which might lead to…oh (Margo), the consequences of that could be much too hideous to contemplate.

  156. Uncle Lumpy
    October 31st, 2006 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    #153 David C -

    It’s another Phantom/Mandrake cross-over: our Mr. W is “gesturing hypnotically.”

  157. treadwell
    October 31st, 2006 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    Maybe the Phantom is just blocking the ejecting shells from hitting him in the face. “ooh, ow hot oo!” And a “ook-ok-oook” while I’m at it.

    144: d) Mexican stoplight candy.
    Is that the “cool thing”? ;)

  158. Heckler123
    October 31st, 2006 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    I have mixed feelings about the character of Shannon in FBOFW. I’ve worked in exceptional education in the Florida public schools, and the Down Syndrome kids are really high functioning.

    One of my favorite workers at a local Wendy’s has Down syndrome. (She’s one of my favorites because she always has my Diet Coke ready before I even get to the window to place my order.) Ashley is 27, and she’s worked there for nine years. She is also engaged to be married to a guy that is in a similar work program.

    So I’m glad that Lynn is including Shannon in FBOFW. On the other hand, Shannon is obviously just a convenient PC addition to the strip. And while Down Syndrome people are short, they are not Lilliputian.

    And by the way, I…have…never…known…them…to …speak…this…slowly…..

  159. Aaron
    October 31st, 2006 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    #144 & #157… You forgot the possibility that it might be… A SAMPO.

  160. rich
    October 31st, 2006 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    Has anyone else noticed that the words to that Foob song fit perfectly with the music to John Cage’s 4’33″?

  161. jules
    October 31st, 2006 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    #152: Holy Margo, that’s good! I’m going to start calling myself “Mrs. Huffy McDoctorswife.”

  162. mazeville
    October 31st, 2006 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    10/31 FC – I liked this one. Why? Because, in most households (comprised of people with normal-sized heads), finding a hat that perfectly fits a large pumpkin would be an impossibility.

    In FC, though, it’s not a problem.

    http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20061031&name=Family_Circus

  163. Son of Slam
    October 31st, 2006 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    83 – My last name happens to be Patterson. Thank you for validating my existence, and at the same time, devaluing everyone else’s.

  164. Indiebass
    October 31st, 2006 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    [MARGO] yeah!

    btw, what is Mexican Stoplight Candy (or Sampo for that matter)?

  165. Jennifer
    October 31st, 2006 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    I’m curious… is the blog tool automatically replacing a certain word with (Margo) or did we all just suddenly decide to do this ourselves today. Never even noticed it before…

    I tried it in preview and nothing happened, so… please someone tell me if I can swear and be auto-Margo’d. Cause that would be AWESOME.

  166. zeeba
    October 31st, 2006 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: Most any lyrics can be sung to the Gilligan’s Island tune–and this one is no exception!! Even Krazy Kat’s works.

    MT: “Well, well, what do we have here?”

    OMG, a cave full of bear gall bladders!!!

    FW: I may be missing some continuity here, so if you can explain, I’d appreciate it. Isn’t this a SCHOOL Halloween party? If so, then where did Jess get the booze? If not, then did she raid someone’s liquor cabinet? Did she bring her own? Does she drink regularly and it’s never been brought out in the story before?

  167. Dennis Jimenez
    October 31st, 2006 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    Off subject, but I think the lyrics to Purple Haze can be sung to the tune of the Green Acres melody.

  168. Indiebass
    October 31st, 2006 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    Jennifer (#165)

    I started doing it this morning (see #114) and it seems to have found a niche. Which I think is [MARGO]ing Awesome! ;)

  169. Jennifer
    October 31st, 2006 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    IndieBass

    Well I’m [Margo]ing going to use it! [Margo], yeah!

  170. ben
    October 31st, 2006 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    #34 — there are also still Jersey £1 notes. And Guernsey, too, I think. The islanders take perverse delight in giving them as change.

  171. Uncle Lumpy
    October 31st, 2006 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    [M]‘n a!

  172. Duane Schneider
    October 31st, 2006 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    Well, this if [Margo]ing great.

    I am still hoping to [Margo] Margo, but I don’t own a [Margo]ing hat!

    Oh [Margo] you.

    Maybe she will [Margo] my [Gil Thorp]. Especially if I [LuAnn] her magnificient [Blondie]s. But if I [Plugger] her [Crankshaft] multiple times maybe I can [Rex] her [June].

    But, I am just a big [Aldo] so my chances are [Shannon]

  173. Mike
    October 31st, 2006 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    #143 – April is as functionally illiterate as I imagined.

  174. SmartPeopleOnIce
    October 31st, 2006 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    #164 (IB) Mexican Stoplight Candy and Sampo were running gags from Joel-era MST3K. The first was a prize in a name-the-cool thing contest, and the second was, if I remember correctly, either a strapless evening gown or a high energy prop comic (you sorta had to be there).

    I can’t believe I remember this crap. TV has like squished out all my childhood memories and most of my undergraduate education (not to mention my spelling and grammar).

  175. Dingo
    October 31st, 2006 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    Y’know, whene’er you’re having a day without rainbows, all that’s needed is to come onto this site and read about twenty postings. I’ve laughed harder in the last few minutes than any man should be allowed except when watching the death of Apwil Patterson.

    What’s Mexican stoplight candy?

    What’s a SAMPO?

    How do I give a lobstergram to the person who started this wonderfully [MARGO]ing habit of replacing swear words with her name?

    I want to meet the parents of the child dressed like a poodle in today’s FOOB. That boy has some serious home-life issues.

    What’s up with Heckubah, er… HeccebaR, er… RebeccaH’s outfit? Where are the seven veils? Just because you’re a belly dancer doesn’t mean you need belly. I’m almos’ afraid to think of how her act involves the microphone. I’m thinking that she’ll top 4Eva’ & Eva by employing vaginal farts into her act. Very Celine Dion.

    Lastly, it’s not a FOOB-a-phone, you dolts. It’s an enemahorn.

  176. kylegirl
    October 31st, 2006 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    Re: Get Fuzzy: I’ve been hoping for a while that Mac Manc McManx would turn out to be a clever riff on an American pretending to be British, but my hope is starting to fade. I still have a sliver of hope that Rob will call him on his nonsensical accent and vocabulary (and his likely nonexistent “bills”), but deep down I know it’s false hope.

    Also: OMG, I want to gouge June Morgan’s eyes out! I have had it up to here with “Can’t you make an exception, just for meeeeee?!?” types, lately (I don’t work at the DMV, thank god, but I do work in public service). I refuse to believe that Mrs. Dr. Morgan doesn’t have a passport that she could have brought along to the DMV. That’s what passports are for! For going to other countries and for using as ID when you can’t find your license or social security card!

  177. Duane Schneider
    October 31st, 2006 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    Shifting foob arcs. . .

    I wonder whose hose-o-phonium Liz is [Margo]ing this Halloween?

    Maybe she is in the little house with Anthony AND Dudley and getting to watch a hose-o-phonium duet.

  178. mazeville
    October 31st, 2006 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    Am I the only person here who has gone through my entire life thus far without hearing of a “hose-o-phonium”?

    It’s beginning to remind me of when V for Vendetta came out, and I had to google “Guy Fawkes mask”.

    I am sheltered, indeed.

  179. Tommy Addict
    October 31st, 2006 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    Arrgh! I love Mary Worth, but sometimes the glacial pace makes my eyeballs want to pop. If I don’t see Tommy soon I’m going to scream! The anticipation is killing me.

  180. Mibbitmaker
    October 31st, 2006 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    There’s an evil strip put up
    And it’s gonna be reviled
    There are Foobs that are all shallow
    And you’re gonna vomit, child
    There is Johnston drawin’ stupid
    And it’s not “The Phantom”, true,
    Though each one we are a-mockin’
    Just like ol’ Aldo’s stalkin’, too.
    This strip is getting dumber
    And a Foob shakes all about
    He’s carrying a limp beer bong
    He’s as lame as is the gout
    What dumb sound
    That shakes the town?
    It’s the ultra-dopey
    Hoser-Phonic
    Thinnng-g-g-g-g
    Hear it…. suck!

  181. Dingo
    October 31st, 2006 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    Okay, curmudgeonites. I sing and play guitar (yes, rhythm guitar). Who else out here is a musician? Can we put together an actual recording of the song?

    Who… wants… to… play… tambourine?

  182. MossMoses
    October 31st, 2006 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    “4-evah, Eva and Dingo”

    What are the cops doing? The wildlife expert/ranger told Mark Trail who the bad guys are, went with him to their house then promptly split. “I’m going back to the PigPen for some donuts. You go off with a gun, vigilante style after those poachers. You said you want to get your hands on them. Here’s your chance.”

    I think that new biddy is a con person and there are many gullible fools in Charterstone ripe for the picking. There is absolutely no questioning Iris Beedie’s gullible nature. She didn’t seem to know her son was dealing drugs and she is going out with that pudgy, bald combover freak, Wilbur Weston. The new biddy seemed to be telling Iris her “gift” is that she is clairvoyant. I doubt that but she certainly is ugly and she’s meddling in the wrong condo complex. How can she meddle there knowing the uber meddler is resident manager and head busybody?

  183. King Folderol
    October 31st, 2006 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    #150 – Don’t read this if you don’t want me to spoil it for you.

    …but yes, Rebeccah will have union musicians. April comments all about it in her monthly letter.

  184. Dingo
    October 31st, 2006 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

    Look for the union label /
    When you are vying the Foob-verse, you grouse!
    Because without that, that union label /
    your band is nothinggggggg, and you’re a louse.

  185. Indiebass
    October 31st, 2006 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    #174 (SPOI): Thanks for the infos! I know what you mean about television knowledge pushing out the important stuff. Between TV and esoteric music trivia, I can barely function at work.

    #175 (Dingo) Thanks, amigo! Though i’m not really sure what a lobstergram is…

  186. Harold
    October 31st, 2006 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    I assumed Shannon was fishing for the right words to say:

    “Hey…(oh, crap, I forgot what this talentless idiot’s name is…Ape-face? A Pill? Oh, right!)…April…(God, I hate her so much, why am I even talking to her? What can I say that will allow me to visualize her suffering in pain, yet sounds like encouragement? Well, how about…)Break a leg…(Wonderful, how do I get out of this? Let’s just go with that good ol’ Canadian space-filler)…Eh?”

  187. Krazy Kat
    October 31st, 2006 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    YE-ah! Sing it Mibbitmaker!

  188. java-jon
    October 31st, 2006 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    Todays Mark Trail . . .

    “Well Well what do we have here?”

    I’ll tell you. It’s that damned Jack Elrod ball. Andy has been chasing it for days.

  189. andrew howzer
    October 31st, 2006 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    please, please, please make a recording of the 4Evah song!!

  190. cheech wizard
    October 31st, 2006 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    167 – You’ve got it backwards – it’s Green Acres to the Purple Haze melody – a Detroit band called Elvis Hitler concocted it back in the 80′s or thereabouts.

  191. Proteus
    October 31st, 2006 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    Duane 172: Maaaargo! That was Margoing excellent, dude!

  192. dramashoes
    October 31st, 2006 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    Why is Becky not doubled over with laughter in the last panel of FBOFW? Seriously, “they’re too good?”

  193. Anonymous
    October 31st, 2006 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

    #31, that picture ROCKS and needs to go on a shirt. And on the back, we can put “We may not be famous, but we’re gonna be fun!”.

    Oh, man, I would TOTALLY buy that.

    -MB

  194. Mary Brandt
    October 31st, 2006 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    #31, that picture ROCKS and needs to go on a shirt. And on the back, we can put “We may not be famous, but we’re gonna be fun!”.

    Oh, man, I would TOTALLY buy that.

    -MB

  195. Stu
    October 31st, 2006 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    The current hoseophonium storyline is going to end in typical FOOB fashion– a life lesson learned with a lame cliche or pun. The Beckster will throw a temper tantrum directed at the 4-evahs about the use of a grownup in their band, and how she is the popstar, not them. Then Shannon will amble over and say, “Even..though….she….is…beautiful…on…the…outside… she …is…not….beautiful….on……the…inside….. ” Zing! Story over! Back to the cocktease adventures of Lizardbreath.

  196. dimestore lipstick
    October 31st, 2006 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

    God, I love the internet. Sound files of The Green Acres/Purple Haze mash-up here:

    http://www.maggiore.net/greenacres/sounds.asp

  197. Rarebit Fiend
    October 31st, 2006 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    Wow, until I discovered this website I never realized there was such hostility toward For Better or For Worse. Seems there are other comics out there more worthy of scorn, but don’t let me rain on anyone’s parade.

  198. dramashoes
    October 31st, 2006 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    #196: You have a point; there are plenty of comics we could be dumping on, and we do. The thing is that no other comic is quite as insulting as FBOFW. No other strip is so condescending towards gay people, handicapped people, elderly people, or just about any group that is outside of the Patterson family unit. No other comic makes such ham-fisted attempts at portraying teenagers, or turns an old man’s medical tragedy into a valuable life lesson. Perhaps most glaringly, no other comic is so utterly self-righteous in tone. I think that’s why there’s so much actual loathing and bile directed at FBOFW. I’ll be glad to see it go, personally.

  199. Marcelo
    October 31st, 2006 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    I’m amazed that no one has noticed that Shannon is actually working as event staff for the show. The fix is in!

  200. MonkeyHawk
    October 31st, 2006 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    “Event Staff?” For a junior high assembly?

  201. Poteet
    October 31st, 2006 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    I did the (Margo) thing in #155 because Indiebass did it first, so let me also thank you, Indiebass. We NEEDED this word.

    And #196, some of the hostility is coming from people who used to really like or even love FBOFW, but don’t like it any longer for various reasons (my biggest reasons are Michael and the Liz/Anthony romance, but other people have other reasons). There are sporadic laments here from people who used to love FBOFW. But mostly, as you have pointed out, there is hostility. And when the storyline switches back to Liz and Anthony, the hostility is likely to pick up considerably.

  202. roydrink
    October 31st, 2006 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    June Morgan’s a nurse, husband a doctor and she’s complaining about waiting? What profession came up with waiting rooms? At least she’s not in pain, about to get hit with a whopping bill!

  203. cheech wizard
    October 31st, 2006 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

    196- I think people pick on FOOB because it’s one of the all-time great strips that has descended into sappiness as Lynn has farmed out part of the work to staff and is thinking more and more about retirement. Besides, picking on strips like Heathcliffe or Momma would be like beating up a retarded kid – like Shannon. Although I guess some of us would like to do that, too.

  204. Uncle Lumpy
    October 31st, 2006 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    What is uniquely infuriating about FOOB is that its characters are presented for our admiration at the expense of entertainment. It is the Jimmy Carter, Sarah Brightman and Cirque du Soleil of comic strips.

    No other comic does this so blatantly (although 9 Chickweed Lane, Pluggers, and Funky Winkerbean come close). FOOB‘s smug self-righteousness earns it every horselaugh, Bronx cheer and sneer it gets.

  205. Pendragon
    October 31st, 2006 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    Uncle Phil = Ghost-Who-Blows

  206. dramashoes
    October 31st, 2006 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

    #203: Uncle L., can we add Anne Geddes to your list? Please? She really makes me want to puke.

  207. ice weasel
    October 31st, 2006 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    I generally don’t comment here but I love to read.

    But I have to ask this, is there some rule about each daily cartoon standing on its’ own? I mean, how could I possibly be entertained or intrigued or even horridly fascinated by anything as dipshitty vapid as For Better Or Worse?

    Can someone help me here?

    Please.

  208. MonkeyHawk
    October 31st, 2006 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    “It is the Jimmy Carter, Sarah Brightman and Cirque du Soleil of comic strips.”

    Golly, I like you people!

  209. Bob The Builder
    October 31st, 2006 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

    Jeffy looks like somebody’s giving him a really hard rimjob. Mmm.

  210. Monkey's Paw
    October 31st, 2006 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    Uncle Lumpy, its not just that Foob is self-righteous, its that no one besides the Pattersons are allowed to have any meaningful accomplishments. (Having babies is not an accomplishment unless they came out of a test-tube or godly intervention) And any characters that might possibly upstage Lyn’s creations are either pushed to the sides (mountie boy) or villainized (Becky)

  211. Mole Preener Gadge Cubic
    October 31st, 2006 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    #167: As done by Elvis Hitler, if I recall – which featured Warren (later “Warn”) Defever, whose own act His Name Is Alive is as different from that as you can imagine.

  212. Mole Preener Gadge Cubic
    October 31st, 2006 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    Lynn Johnston, there’s a reserved parking space in hell just for you…for utterly and completely ruining one of life’s simple pleasures – that of making fart noises with a hose and a mouthpiece. I damn thee, Lynn Johnston – I damn thee!

  213. Uncle Lumpy
    October 31st, 2006 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

    #209 Monkey Paw -

    TJMP – “I am Patterson; admire me.”

  214. blase
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    FW: Catfight? After guzzling down that Johnny Walker, Jessie looks about ready to do something else that cats are famous for… huk-huk-huk-huk…

  215. justafoob
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    I still say that you are a Saint Patterson or you are a prop.

    Unless you are Shannon.

    Then you are a prop ‘tard.

  216. RentedMule
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    blase please tell me that she’s not gonna lick her ass or cry for food just out of easy throwing range at 4:30 am.

  217. Len
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    #209 — Maybe P.J. has his thumb stuck up his brother’s patoot?

    Jeffy’s response to Billy should be to wave a snotty handkerchief (or P.J.’s diaper) and say, “Yeah? Well, this is the sheet that baby ghosts wear when they go a-haunting.”

    These “baby witches” must be like, aborted fetuses, right?

  218. Dingo
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    blase please tell me that she’s not gonna lick her ass or cry for food just out of easy throwing range at 4:30 am

    Who? Who? Shannon or Sarah Brightman?

  219. Uncle Lumpy
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    #218 Dingo –

    One guess:

    “Midnight
    I am hacking a hairball
    I am licking my rectum
    I am smiling alone.
    In the lamplight
    I am dodging the curses and shoes
    And the wind begins to moan”

  220. Audible Sigh
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

    #180, Unfortunately, at Foob-Borough High, you get disqualified for putting “d”s on your “and”s, plus I think the hose-o-phonium would blow more than it sucks.

  221. Poteet
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

    #219 — Uncle Lumpy, as the owner of five hairball hackers, I thank you:-). Though mine are old and spoiled, and only hack indoors.

  222. Edward W. Miller
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:10 am [Reply]

    #166 The party is at Jessie’s house.

  223. Marion Delgado
    November 1st, 2006 at 3:03 am [Reply]

    One of the continuties from Baltimore comx crtx Scocca and Macleod (S&M) to modern day cr1t1csm 1s compla1n1ng about luann and aaron. remember, luann got her k1ss wth aaron about 4 years ago! as the funny paper sa1d at the t1me that should have ended the str1p everyone go home.

    everyone go home!

    bah!

    Luann, 1f you don’t end the str1p now you and your fam1ly wll be drawn nto drugs and 1ll1c1t sex yo.

    no ths s not Mar1ons k1d brother (my leet “I” key usually does not work, sorry – needs f1xng)

  224. trubbaman
    November 1st, 2006 at 8:16 am [Reply]

    #168

    It’s true about the Gilligan’s Island theme being the universal tune! Amazing Grace and the poems of Emily Dickinson also have the same meter.

  225. mattt
    November 1st, 2006 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    #224 Emily Dickinson poems work perfectly with The Yellow Rose of Texas, too.

  226. Edward
    November 1st, 2006 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Sorry, #78, but I can’t let this go…first, ‘rhyming slang’ (such as ‘my old china plate’ (rhymes with ‘mate’) is a feature of Cockney, and only cockney…no one from Manchester (or anywhere else outside of London) would EVER say it. Most of the expressions he uses are ones historically associated with Cockney, but hardly used anymore…you’d be hard-pressed to find even the east-Londonest person alive use rhyming slang anymore (except for certain phrases that have come to be used widely, including in the States, such as ‘dukes’ for fists (Duke of Yorks=Forks, forks meaning hands).

    I’ll give an example of how irritating this is. Imagine it’s Bizarro world, and Get Fuzzing is drawn over here. Mac is, of course, and American. Here’s a bit of dialogue.

    “Whazzzzz up, pal? Y’all gonna go to da sto’ and get some ‘za? Like, whatever! Yins don’t gotta hate on me! Cuz look, bub, I’s gonna mosey on down da hood, pahtner. Dese grody boots is made fa’ walkin’, fo’ sure, and if’n you can’t gets dat, den you ain’t nevah gonna see how wicked good we is, fo’ shizzle!’

  227. treadwell
    November 1st, 2006 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    I see your point, Edward. Although I would find that hilarious, albeit in an unintentioned way.

    Like the “American” accents in BBC comedies, with very pronounced R’s. The American Python, Terry Gilliam, would do that when playing American characters, spoofing the “British American accent” without, perhaps, the others realizing it.

    It’s all good. Y’all. ;)

  228. Poteet
    November 1st, 2006 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    #226 — Edward, if it makes you feel any better, please keep venting. I feel your pain. At some point, some strip may set a storyline in Iowa and make a total hash of our accents and landscape, and if that happens, it’s good to know that I’ll be able to come here and complain.

  229. dimestore lipstick
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    Poteet–wasn’t that “Bloom County”?

  230. David
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    226. “certain phrases that have come to be used widely, including in the States, such as ‘dukes’ for fists (Duke of Yorks=Forks, forks meaning hands).”

    And this is why the sun set on the British Empire a looooooong time ago! You people make stuff too complicated!

  231. lefthanger
    November 1st, 2006 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    “Holy Moly” # 46
    I haven’t seen or heard that saying for 20 years. I said that for years but gave it up as i didn’t hear any one else using it.It’s nice to know that it wasn’t all in vain.
    Or did you read it in the comics?

  232. Jordan
    November 1st, 2006 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    So, seeing the Luann today at this site reminded me of my dream last night. I dreamt that Greg what’s his name wasn’t the original creator of Luann, but was the hack that the syndicate put in charge after they ended their contract with the original creator.

    In my dream the original creator of Luann was a former Black Pather and was freaking awesome, he was really bitter about the way that Luann had gone. He gave a lecture about the future of “digital cartooning” and about “fighting syndicates”

  233. Poteet
    November 1st, 2006 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

    #229 — Dimestore, thank you. My paper didn’t carry BLOOM COUNTY, and I didn’t know it was set in Iowa(?) I may have to check this out. But regardless of how it turns out, I won’t complain here, and will complain only about current hash-making:-).

  234. Some Guy Here
    November 3rd, 2006 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    I know with 233 posts this will just get buried, but I still need to note that Greg Evans has Rumiko Takahackshi syndrome.

  235. Steven Rosenberg
    November 3rd, 2006 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    Hey, assuming RebeccaH has some professional “ringers” in her group, even if they are drunken Canadians, why is it such a problem for April to have her own drunken Canadian professional emerge from a Spinal Tappish coffin on her side? And remember the other subtext: If you dress up for Halloween to perform, you’re automatically “in the spirit” of things, even in Canada, I presume. But who will comfort RebeccaH? April or Shannon? And you know there’ll be comfortin’, because it’s FBOFW

  236. Tonyman
    November 5th, 2006 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

    Luann – The perfect Christmas gift for Luann? Lead Shoes! To keep her air head from floating her to the next galaxy.

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  264. Roger M. Wilcox
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    1. Shannon is much, much shorter than April.

    2. Shannon is wearing a shirt that says “Staff” on the back.

    I think it’s obvious. The concert is a bit … SHORT STAFFED! HAR! {slaps knees}

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