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At least it’s not faded jeans he’s complaining about

B.C., 10/31/06

KIDS TODAY! WITH THE BIG, BAGGY JEANS! THEY’RE SO HUGE! THEY LOOK THEY MIGHT FALL DOWN, AND SOMETIMES YOU CAN SEE THEIR UNDERWEAR EVEN! HOO! BAGGY PANTS! IT’S CRAZY! WHO WEARS THAT STUFF? THE KIDS! THEY’RE NUTS!

HOO!

Good times.

Actually, I do find it kind of funny that Peter (or whoever) is pulling up his … um … diaper … thing in the third panel. Also, kudos for not letting us know that we’re all going to hell on Halloween this year, Johnny.

Judge Parker, 10/31/06

Look at Abbey’s face in panel three: she’s thinking, “God-damned lucky bastard, at least he was.” Have you noticed how difficult it is for her to convince Sam to fulfill his marital obligations? They act like they can’t get it on if there’s anyone else at home, which is kind of strange considering they live in an enormous ranch with, like, outbuildings and such. I’m thinking that Randy isn’t the main “family values” liability to this campaign.

Momma, 10/31/06

This strip made me happy, for a brief moment, that Pluggers exists. Because if it didn’t, I probably would have seen this strip and thought, “Oh my God they want her to have sex with the freakish half-beast — that’s disgusting and horrifying!” But as it is, I just thought, “See, this is why you need to put ‘NO PLUGGERS’ very prominently in your personal ad.”

Mary Worth, 10/31/06

“Yeah, I’d say it went pretty well, seeing as I’m high as a fucking kite right now.”

185 responses to “At least it’s not faded jeans he’s complaining about”

  1. El Capitan
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    Raju needs a spinoff comic where he and his jocky wrestler friend travel from place to place, setting grain supply discrepancies right where they once went wrong/

  2. Cornwhacker
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    I don’t think Momma has ever made me laugh so hard before.

  3. majolo
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    From the Simpsons:
    Dr. Hibbert: Welcome to Mensa. You join such luminaries as cartoonist Mel Lazarus, Gina Davis, and Parade Magazine’s Marilyn vos Savant.
    Frink: Each the tops in his or her field, er excep for Mel Lazarus.

  4. andreavis
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

    I almost feel sorry for Mary Worth– she’s trying to assert control of the meddling, but it’s clear that Ella has done a biddy end-run around her.

  5. Pedants R Us
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

    If you’re a copy editor or proofreader, the joke in Momma works only if it’s spoken, not written in a speech bubble. A dog-person is different from a dog person.

  6. Harry Parateses
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

    Momma: Yeah, you’d screw a half-man beast if you were some whitebread bimbo who could make an Ethiopian war refugee look fat.

  7. Michael McCluskey
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

    I like how she yells “…prompted me to see Tommy!”

    And Mary stares her 100 yard stare…..

  8. Len
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    I don’t think I like the company little Lio is hanging with tonight.

    http://www.gocomics.com/lio/2006/10/31/

  9. Harry Paratestes
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    JP: Remember Bobby Wright? Is that a new rallying cry, or is Bobby an old lover of Abbey? Inquiring minds want to know before overindulgence in comic madness rots them out.

  10. Harry Paratestes
    October 31st, 2006 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

    I think that Iris was once cursed with the proverb: “May your son be so handsome that his cellmates constantly fight over him “.

  11. Cornwhacker
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

    #9: Agreed. Does anyone here remember Bobby Wright? Any long-time Judge Parker readers care to fill us in?

  12. yellojkt
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    “Ella gave advice? She will pay for that. And pay in AldoBucks, if you know what I mean.”

  13. Blueline
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    You called on the hot, cockblocking action, Josh. I don’t know who deserves my sympathy more – Mrs. Morgan waiting in line at the DMV or Mrs. Parker who can never get some.

  14. yellojkt
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

    Sam better go check if Bobby and Raju need some help. And by help, I mean “lube.”

  15. Robster
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    I bet that Raju is the top of that couple…

    From my experience, dog people are much easier to get along with than wolf men/women. Always up on their shots, happy to please, full of unconditional love, willing to hump your leg at the drop of a motheaten hat..

  16. Chris
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

    Sam, Bobby, Raju and Abby star in “I am Bi-Curious (Asian/Wrestler/Lawyer”).

    Sophie, run for your life!

  17. James Schend
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    Hey guys, do you think that Dick Tracy has established that the machine can read minds enough yet? Maybe they should spend a few more weeks on it. “Wow, that machine can read minds!” “Look a mind-reading machine!” “Remember a month ago when I got this machine? It still reads minds!”

  18. James Schend
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    It occurred to me that the Dick Tracy masterminds must have gone to the “Spider-Man School of Pacing.” After three solid months of establishing that the machine can read minds, he’ll spend 2 panels using it to defeat the most horrible terrorist plot yet.

  19. Chris
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    #17 James Schend, I think Ella and Dick (oh, and doesn’t that just take you places) should meld mindreading capabilities to create the greatest crime fighting team ever.

    Or to learn the dark, ugly secrets of the creepy residents of Charterstone.

  20. Rusty
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    That Dog Person in Momma is far too thin to be a Plugger. What’s the deal with that character, why is her slacker brother Francis a chick magnet and she has to hang meat around her neck to get a dog to date her? I always thought there was something fundamentally unfair about their relative attractiveness to the opposite sex back when I would actually read Momma some 30 years ago. I’m glad to see it still trotting out the same old themes.

  21. reader-who-posts
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

    You can see from the look on Mary’s face that she is already planning an intervention on her new psychic competition. Then she’ll drug her and make it look like she drove her car off that convenient cliff out back with a bottle of Johnnie Walker in the passenger seat. She’s probably thinking “tulips – I’ll put tulips on that bitch’s casket”.

  22. RoboMax
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

    Momma has gone from trite and stupid to balls to the wall fucking crazy. I imagine the missing third panel shows the lycanthropic monster man ripping out the girl’s throat.

  23. Albatross
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

    I can’t believe that the Hallowe’en FBOFW has escaped mention. “For Evah and Eva” clearly stole their costumes from the trailer behind the Black Eyed Peas bus. Are Canada’s schools so liberal that nobody cares someone is waving his instrument about in front of the entire school? And does the panel read “waving it aboot” in the original Canadian strip?

    I don’t know what Rebecca is so resentful about. Nevermind that she’s already some kind of pop star in the microverse of Foobery (do the distant, isolated cities of Canada have their own pocket-Hollywoods of local celebrities?), look at the boobeses she’s packing offstage! At the ripe young age of sixteen Rebeccah already has Farrah’s hair, Nikki Cox’s chest, J.Lo’s attitude, and Britney Spears’ two-baby tummy pudge.

    So what if her former bandmates are having a good night: ‘Becca can already see debauchery, addiction, rehab, recovery, and a Big Band-era comeback album stretching out before her, into the golden sunset of VH-1 ‘Where Are They Now’ features, and a quiet retirement pushing wrinkle cream and Time-Life ‘Turn of the Century’ pop hit collections.

  24. Laurie Ann
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

    Why do all of Mary’s neighbors sublet? Does no one want to live near her?

  25. Phil
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

    The “Get Fuzzy” thing today with Bucky and MMMcM is one of the funniest effing things I’ve seen in quite some time.

  26. Mikel P
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

    BC (Blasted Cavemen!)

    I also have a blog about BC. I do not know if the Blog is any good, though.

  27. Da Scrodfather
    October 31st, 2006 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

    I think what Peter’s adjusting is called a loincloth. And thank heavens he’s wearing the maxi version.

  28. Doug Puthoff
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

    Tank McNamara: A few years back, the Cincinnati Bengals were laughingstocks because they played about as well as Scott Adams drew cartoons–badly. Now they’re laughingstocks because they get fingerprinted more often than Batman villains. I don’t think that’s an improvement.

    More information about the Bengals can be found on the Internet–www.cincinnatipolice.gov.

    FW: Let’s see Jessica has been drinking heavily, and she’s seen her boyfriend with another girl. I’m predicting that she’ll do an Aldo an drive off a cliff–that is, if there are any cliffs in Ohio.

    SF: Nooo, no more mothers-in-law. We’ve had enough of them in “The Born Loser.”

    Real Life Adventures: Thing #3,214,785 I hate about this strip. The caption is usually repetitive or just a non-sequitor. This strip has hit a new low–and it’s a remarkable achievement.

    Dilbert–Replace “X-box” with “PC,” and you get the story of my life.

  29. blase
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

    JP: I’m thinkin’: Why the heck did they suddenly decide to replace their inking artist in panels 2 and 3?

  30. ragthetiger
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: Hey, I like getting all snarky on FOOB as much as anyone when it deserves it, which is 99.9% of the time. But this time, I gotta give credit where it’s due. Am I the only one who thinks this ghost from the coffin playing jazz on a hose-a-phone would actually work? I can see it being funny as hell, played for a laugh, and the kids actually enjoying it.

  31. ragthetiger
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

    Mary is pissed as hell that someone else is going to take over her role as Advice-Giver Extraordinaire to the Masses at Charterstone. How can she compete with a psychic? Could it be time for… an intervention?

  32. ragthetiger
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

    Ooh! Ooh! It just came to me. Mary’s going to get psychic advice about Dr. Whosis. So that shortest-plot-line-in-the-world didn’t really end. There. I said it first. (did I say it first?)

  33. blessened
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    I predict Rebecca will flake out on the show. Totally roadside, eh?

  34. fillmoreeast
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

    In that Momma strip, is it my imagination or is the girl a refugee from Schoolhouse Rock? I’m sure she’ll drive off the mandog fairly quickly, once she starts singing about gerunds. or the number six, or presidential signing statements.

  35. carla
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

    When crafting a complex strip like B.C., with its copy-paste “artwork” and geriatric-”Mad Libs”-style of dialogue, Johnny Hart can only draw new character poses for special occasions. In today’s case, it was to show a nearly-nude caveman self-righteously adjusting his loincloth.

  36. treedweller
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

    I wondered about what the caveman was doing, as well. I decided he must be checking to see if his boxers’ label was most prominent. Seeing as it wasn’t, we can only assume baggy jeans are not back in style now. Don’t forget to check again tomorrow. Fashions change quickly.

  37. Barmy
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

    You’re not going to believe this, but before he became a cartoonist, Mell Lazarus wrote one of the funniest novels I have ever read in my life, a magazine-world satire called THE BOSS IS CRAZY TOO.

  38. gg
    October 31st, 2006 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    I do appreciate how very happy the receptionist in the “Momma” strip is. She’s just so darn pleased with herself! “He’s just the guy you asked for! And Mr. Smith, you said we’d never find anyone for you. Lucky thing I told you to hide in our janitor’s closet until the perfect lady came along!”

    In the Halloween FOOB, just how exactly are the Eva(h)s holding the Ds and Gs in “SOUUUNDDD,” “AROUNDDD,” “THINGGGGGGGG,” and “SWINNGGGG”? Try it for yourself, and see how far you get! (Do please try not to choke as you do, though.) Also, Rebecca, “good” isn’t the word I’d use. “Popular,” maybe. “Funny,” perhaps. Maybe even “entertaining.” But probably not “good.”

    P.S. How sad is it that I checked the number of repeated letters in each word so I could type it correctly?

  39. Dasmarius
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:09 am [Reply]

    My god, look at the size of her pupils in the last panel of MW today. They’re like dinner plates. She IS high.

  40. Doug Puthoff
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:16 am [Reply]

    11-1 MW: Tommy has got religion? This is even scarier than this past Sunday’s “Fox Trot?” What next, Mary no longer being judgemental?

  41. blase
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:18 am [Reply]

    #39: IMHO the MW artist is high. They couldn’t even cut-n-paste her eyes to align properly on her face. And come to think of it, it looks like Mary’s features they used.

  42. gg
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    Dang it, I really should have read yesterday’s posts before posting. My apologies for just saying what Rich and others already mentioned.

    I would make a joke here about how Aldo looks like a certain children’s TV show host, but even the jokes about that are getting old. Alas, I am devoid of new content! Forty lashes with a wet noodle!

  43. Anonymous
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:25 am [Reply]

    I love the motion lines around the bible in Mary Worth (11/1). Fffshooom!

  44. fillmoreeast
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:25 am [Reply]

    38: I’m a stickler for placing repeated letters properly to represent drawn-out sounds. There’s a site I read that regularly uses the word “niiiiiceeeee,” and I want to punch the guy who writes that word that way until he can explain to me what all those extra e’s are for.

    That said, I will cede Lynn her repeated g’s in “THINGGGGGGGG” and “SWINNGGGG”. The sound in question is NG, not just N, and repeating the G is as acceptable as repeating the N — possibly moreso, because it emphasizes what makes the sound different from regular N, namely the velar positioning of the tongue.

    The repeated D’s in SOUNNDDDDDD are just stupid and insane, though. The rules are simple, really — you should only repeat letters if (1) they represent an actual sound, and (2) they’re vowels, nasals (m/n/ng), liquids (r/l), fricatives (f/v/the two varieties of th), aspirates (h), or sibilants (s/z). Plosives (p/b/t/d/k/g) are, by their very nature, impossible to draw out. Well, without sounding like a motorboat, anyway. Which I doubt is what Lynn had in mind.

    Jesus. I just wrote a phonology mini-essay in the comments of a comics blog. I’m just going to nip into the kitchen now and jam a fork in my eye.

  45. blase
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    11/1 MW: Yay! Tommy’s changed addictions!

  46. SurpriseWitness
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:36 am [Reply]

    Momma: What’s worse, that the “dog-person” dresses snappier than the creepy girl, or that the creepy girl is pleasantly surprised when the dog-person trots out?

  47. Kenny
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:40 am [Reply]

    Personally, I was agast to see that Mary Worth – on this most ghoulish of days – didn’t center solely on the ghost of Aldo Kelrast haunting Mary and shaking her to her most conservative-core. Isn’t that what this whole, “Aldomania” was about – a perfectly-timed ghostly comeback?

  48. Key Lime Pie
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:46 am [Reply]

    Mary’s just playing it cool and is just glad that she will soon be able to re-establish an old conection.

  49. Cafangdra
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:54 am [Reply]

    #30, I’m with you on that.

  50. Melly
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:59 am [Reply]

    Who goes to a dating service these days? I think Momma’s daughter would be on match.com, where dog-people are presumably easier to avoid.

  51. Von Zeppelin
    November 1st, 2006 at 1:17 am [Reply]

    Am I the only one for whom the name “Mell Lazarus” evokes an image of the Richard Deacon character from the “Dick van Dyke Show” being raised from the dead by Jesus? Probably.

  52. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    November 1st, 2006 at 1:23 am [Reply]

    Does he really spell it “Mell Lazarus”? Perhaps he stole the extra consonant from Bil Keane.

  53. fillmoreeast
    November 1st, 2006 at 1:24 am [Reply]

    11/1:

    Foob — what the hey? So the big comeuppance for Rebecca (and nice paper-tiger evilness in the first two panels, Lynn) is … um … a technical glitch? Whoop-de-shit. I guess Uncle Phil overloaded the sound system with his hose-o-phonium stylings? Or something? At least it spared us more awful Johnstonian lyrics, though not the horribly stilted before-song crowd-stirring-up speech and WHAT THE JESUS HELL. Look at April’s legs in the first panel. Look at them! She has no calves! Just shinbones! Gah!

    Also, nice to see that Rebecca’s band has a rockin’ acoustic guitarist, too. And his guitar appears to have been designed by M.C. Escher, because according to the perspective I can see, in order to be grasping the neck at that angle his elbow would have to bend backwards. Which may explain the pained/constipated facial expression.

  54. Ron
    November 1st, 2006 at 1:25 am [Reply]

    Meanwhile, in FOOB, Lynn engages in a fine bit of narrative overdetermination by making Rebecca mean to Sharon. The first draft undoubtedly said “Get out of my way, YOU ‘TARD,” just to make Rebecca look even skankier, until the syndicate made Lynn fix it.

    And then…the sound goes out! Oh my!

  55. Wirrrn
    November 1st, 2006 at 3:14 am [Reply]

    I’m surprised that the Caveman in BC doesn’t just look at the card that pops out of the Know It All Boulder in total puzzlement for a moment before sniffing it cautiously and then eating it. Cavemen were around in the Pleistocene Era, Mr Hart; Jeans of any kind- baggy or elsewise- didn’t occur until about 40,000 years later in the Levi-Scene, after Humankind had managed to struggle out of the Evolutionary tar-pit that was the Corduroy Period

  56. kippetje2000
    November 1st, 2006 at 4:02 am [Reply]

    oh, josh. Kites don’t use drugs.

  57. Von Zeppelin
    November 1st, 2006 at 5:51 am [Reply]

    Rex MD 11/1–Apparently the Phantom, in his fedora-and-overcoat disguise, today is Ghost-Who-Renews-Drivers-License. Also in panel 1, the DMV clerk is able to disarticulate her left arm at the shoulder and elbow, allowing her to simultaneously display the paper to a glaring June, stare at her computer, and pronounce bureaucratic doom.

  58. Cherri V
    November 1st, 2006 at 6:19 am [Reply]

    I had no idea until this morning that the same artist draws both Pluggers and Shoe. I was wondering why a character from Shoe was making an appearance in today’s Pluggers.

  59. Pinback65
    November 1st, 2006 at 6:54 am [Reply]

    Where, exactly, is the Rex Morgan DMV located? I can accept that Ron Jeremy and Nancy Reagan are standing in line–at least their mortal souls have not passed from this earth. But why is John Wayne in The Quiet Man just sort of floating by? Are we in another dimension?

  60. Von Zeppelin
    November 1st, 2006 at 7:02 am [Reply]

    59 Pinback–I think you are onto something here, PB. Notice the alien grey standing in the distant background. Also, microwave ovens suspended from the ceiling are not commonly found on our earth. The clerk appears to be an obese Vulcan, with the hint of pointed ears and quizzically arched Spockbrows.

  61. Islamorada Girl
    November 1st, 2006 at 7:15 am [Reply]

    Bible bobble alert in today’s MW!

  62. Len
    November 1st, 2006 at 7:19 am [Reply]

    Election Day approaches. Both Rat (of Pearls Before Swine) and Hawthorne the Crab (of Sherman’s Lagoon) are running for Mayor. Realistic enough. Most politicians are rats or crabs.

  63. smacky
    November 1st, 2006 at 7:23 am [Reply]

    Karmic justice is swift in the FOOB universe: Mess with the ‘tard and you’re screwed. Shannon is standing off-stage holding a plug in her hand: “That’ll… show… that… bitch…”

    And today’s Mark Trail is a perfect example of how NOT to build tension:

    “Careful, Andy, someone might be inside!”
    (2 seconds later):
    “No one seems to be inside!”

    Hoo! Between panel 2 and 3 I was shaking with expectation. Would Shake and Bake be just inside, waiting to pop anyone who enters? No. Of course not. Whew!

  64. Len
    November 1st, 2006 at 7:30 am [Reply]

    #59 — Well, Pilgrim… Best get your vehicles together in a circle.

    The ghost of John Wayne is haunting the DMV! Nancy, just say “No” to Ron Jeremy’s stick shift. And the Phantom is hanging here, too. This office rocks!

  65. ChefMike
    November 1st, 2006 at 7:51 am [Reply]

    MW: “my boy’s found religion, oh I’m so proud, he’ll be a changed man when he finally gets out” nah, just means he’s got you fooled along with everyone else, the minute he gets outside, like most other junkies, he’ll find a way back onto the stuff.
    GA: Not knowing where a place is has never stopped you before, Uncle Walt… You go right on ahead, wander off and make your family worry. it’ll be good for at least two weeks, if not an entire month of Alzheimer’s related storyline. Maybe if he somehow manages to arrive at the ‘Old Comics’ home,’ Skeezix or one of the other kids will be available to suggest that he stay there from now on. I guess at the very least a scene at the old comics home will make for good Sunday strip material, I remember how they’d show Walt falling asleep with the newspaper and having hallucinations of frollicking with ancient comic strip characters, only this time they’d be drawn to show their true age.
    FW: well Jess ran away from the party before she could drink anything more, so I guess there’s not going to be any acohol poisoning after all. but we are in for some kind of lesson on the stupidity of getting drunk.
    Luann:really needs to learn to move on…that is all.
    TDIET:in either case, that poor cashier is going to get reprimanded for being off when they count out his drawer. Additionally, I think that lady neglected to look at the “sales tax” line on her receipt, and should be thankful that ten cents is all she was “overcharged”

  66. Harry Paratestes
    November 1st, 2006 at 7:56 am [Reply]

    GA: I’m thinking that Uncle Walt’s in the 106 – 110 year old range, so maybe he’s getting ready to go out and get hit by a truck so he can exit the strip in a geyser of bloody hamburger

  67. Our Fran
    November 1st, 2006 at 8:07 am [Reply]

    Momma panel three: Mr. Smith humps Miss Lonelyhearts’ leg as her dogs look on in terror and try to sniff everyone’s butt. 2 hott for the comix.

  68. Ran
    November 1st, 2006 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    In Mark Trail the cave entrance seems to have expanded after he entered. Also, it seems to be lit inside, as he has not flashlight. Maybe the dog is glowing.

    In MW that guy in prison is definitely somebodys bitch. Its as if the artist wants to draw an edgy, gritty strip but is trapped in Mary Worth.

  69. Abbey the Wonderdog
    November 1st, 2006 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    A suggestion to June, next time, before you go to the DMV to replace a lost and/or stolen license, check out their web site to see what you need to do. You can use that computer thingy that is in the rec room to go onto the internets and use the google to find your DMV.

    Even here in RI, where we have the DMV from hell, at least their website tells you what you need to do and what to bring in if you have lost your license.

    Next time, ask the dog what to do.

    BARK! BARK! BARK!

  70. Justafoob
    November 1st, 2006 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    uh oh, the beckster pissed off the prop ‘tard.

    I bet that Shhhh….. shhhhhh….. shhhhhannnonnnnn unplugged just to get even and so that her friend, St. April Paterson could shine even brighter.

    Plus, ssssss …… ssssss sssssshhhhhaaaannnooonnnn.,…. couldn’t get down to the slaughterhouse to get a bucket of pig’s blood to drop onto the Beckster.

    Maybe next year.

  71. Harold
    November 1st, 2006 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    Dammit, we should’ve gone Trick-Or-Treating to The Phantom’s place! He’s passing out guns!

  72. Ohyes
    November 1st, 2006 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    JP – Abbey gives a thoughtful look at memories of Bobby Wright, and then an intrigued look at Raju’s extensive knowledge of “wrestling,” perhaps from the Kama Sutra. But no wonder – poor Abbey has been smoldering on that couch for weeks!

  73. mattt
    November 1st, 2006 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    Actually, holding out the “d” like the kids are doing in “SOUUUNDDDDD” and “AROUNDDDDD” is easy, and really cool. You sound all bionic!

  74. some guy
    November 1st, 2006 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    44–Don’t you mean you’re going to jam a forkkkkk in your eyeeeeee?

    MW- Is that the Reader’s Digest condensed Bible?

    (DT)GT – Gil makes the players rotate his tires. Come basketball season, he’ll have the scorekeeper do his taxes.

    It’s been a long, long time since I played football, but aren’t the tires supposed to be close together in the tire drill?

    FBFOW – “We Rule”?? Lynn, why don’t you just have Becky say “I’m a slut, not a saintly Patterson”.

    There are two types of people in FBOFW: Saintly Pattersons, and the rest of you are going to hell.

  75. JEdens
    November 1st, 2006 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth 11/1

    Tommy looks like a girl.

  76. David C
    November 1st, 2006 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    30 – “But this time, I gotta give credit where it’s due. Am I the only one who thinks this ghost from the coffin playing jazz on a hose-a-phone would actually work? I can see it being funny as hell, played for a laugh, and the kids actually enjoying it.”

    With the exception of the (implied – is that really supposed to be Phil, and not one of the kids?) use of an old guy to play the thing, yeah, I think it could be kinda fun. And perhaps more importantly, good “counter-programming” for Becky. I’m assuming her act is some sort of earnest, overblown “Canadian Idol” type stuff, but probably much slicker and more polished than anything “4 Evah” could come up with. So the best way to counter that? A Halloween-theme “novelty” act with some goofiness – truly not a bad idea.

    JP: At this point, I have to think all the innuendo about Raju and the boat wrestler “getting roadside” *must* be intentional! And why, by the way, is Sam such an informed expert on local high school boat wrestlers?

  77. Archivalist
    November 1st, 2006 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    Why is the would-be dater in Momma wearing a barrel?

  78. Joe
    November 1st, 2006 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    If the woman were to produce an offspring with the half-man half-beast, what would be more embarassing to the child? That he’s 1/4 German Shepherd, or that his parents met through a dating service?

  79. Bombcar
    November 1st, 2006 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    OK, someone make me feel stupid and explain the current Frazz. I’m not getting the whole silent mop thing.

  80. Ohyes
    November 1st, 2006 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    With Tommy coiffed as someone’s prison bitch, and Raju and Bobby sitting together on the porch swing at night, talking quietly about Bobby’s body health, well, my guess is that in A3G the person in the loft is Gina, who wants a little quiet time to get to know Luanne.

    And in MT, they’ve found a little, off-the-track gay bear bar.

  81. Pozzo
    November 1st, 2006 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    Showing my age, but does anybody remember when Steve Martin debuted “King Tut” on SNL in the late 70′s. During the break in the middle of the song, a guy dressed as a mummy (possibly “Blue Lou” Marini) came out of a sarcophagus to play a sax solo. I’m guessing Uncle Phil saw it. “It killed then, it could kill now!”

  82. hogenmogen
    November 1st, 2006 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    Phantom: “If he moves, shoot him.”
    BLAM! BLAM!
    Phantom: “You shot Devil!”
    Bald Guy Who Probably Doesn’t Speak English: “Oh, I thought you meant ‘shoot the WOLF’.”

    Foobs: That’s the way to win a battle of the bands in the most gratifying way possible. Sabatoge or technical difficulty. Yeah, I can see the crowd really getting pumped for a fun band, but “fun” doesn’t win competitions. Glenn Close in 101 Dalmations, Wesley Snipes in Demolition Man, Samuel L. Jackson in Snakes On A Plane and the entire cast of Flintstones were clearly having fun, but I don’t think anyone considered them Oscar contenders. Plus, “We’ve lost the sound.” isn’t a punchline, it’s a line of dialogue. Where’s the friggin’ punch line? At least he could have said “We’ve lost the souuunddd.” That would have been funny.
    “A ghoul is coming out… waving it about…” Wouldn’t the Canadian translation be “A ghoul is coming oot… waving it aboot… “?

    Spiderman is so lame that it could be very funny if it just took it up a notch. However, it turns out that if you’re not really working that angle, the line between hilarity and pathos is precariously thin. Parker smashes a table because he’s so enraged about losing a crappy, low-paying job, working for a Nazi boss that he detested. Fear not, young Parker. After Dagwood opens his sandwich shop, you can always work for Dithers. The kicks in the ass that he will routinely give you should be a tickle compared to the smacks that supervillians dole out with iron fists.
    “That was my favorite table!” Uh, you’re in a hotel, MJ. At least they’re back to mentioning Doc Ock. Should I be surprised that after realizing that a criminal maniac with super powers was on the loose, Parker and MJ decided the best course of action to take was to continue on their sightseeing tour of LA?

  83. rich
    November 1st, 2006 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    “The power is oot…”

    So apparently it’s not enough that Apes’ band wows the crowd with their winning combo of pluck and enema horns, now even acts of god are working in their favor to defeat that mean ol’ Becky. Quite a universe those Pattersons live in.

    Though I credit Lynn for showing a little bit of dramatic restraint. She was probably tempted to follow “Break….a….leg….” with a scene of Rebeccah stumbling and crying out “Aaugh! I just broke my leg!!

  84. hogenmogen
    November 1st, 2006 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    TDIET: I have to compliment the subtle punchline/empty space bit. I do, however, believe that Scadulto is still in his Cuban-missile-crisis bomb shelter and hasn’t seen an actual supermarket since 1962.
    1) What is that thing with all the buttons? The cashier really types in the price and pulls a crank or something?
    2) Nothing costs $3. Things in grocery stores would cost $2.99.
    3) The cashier’s hat?
    4) I haven’t seen someone at a supermarket cash register over the age of 20 in a long time.
    The casual observer would also point out that the people in the background change and lose all color. Ah, but this is a subtle detail that adds flavor to the strip. Allow me to explain. Both the woman in line and the cashier have become noticably younger, and the image has gone to black and white. That is symbolism meant to give rise to the illusion that Daffia exits the store so quickly that she surpasses the speed of light and goes back in time.

  85. JB2
    November 1st, 2006 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    TDIET

    Amazingly enough, this morning’s edition actually points out a slight instance of hypocrisy that most people will do, if not every time, then at least much of the time (People will vocally disagree when they’re shortchanged by a cashier, but keep quiet when the cashier makes an error in their favor).

    But the whole thing is ruined by irritating Scadutese (“tenner” for ten-dollar bill) and by Daffia acting like a complete maniac.

  86. Justafoob
    November 1st, 2006 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    I get it.

    The sound was out for 4nevah and eva too.

    That is why they were such a hit.

    They were up there looking like the biggest bunch of dork air guitarists this side of Finland.

    Then an old fart comes out playing a hose-o-phonium and sounds like a fart machine.

    yuckkkittty yuck yuck.

  87. rich
    November 1st, 2006 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Funniest Phantom line since “Guess that puts us in conflict!”

    “And don’t whimper…you sound like prey!”

  88. Derelict
    November 1st, 2006 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Spiderman 11/01–This is, without doubt, plumbing new depths in stupidity, and renders the strip unreadable.

    Evidently Stan Lee and his sidekick have the proportionate appetites for excitement of spiders.

  89. benro
    November 1st, 2006 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    FOOB – This is not a competition!! It’s Rebeccah’s triumphant return to her “roots”, where she can awe all the losers that she inexplicably still goes to school with, even though somehow she has managed to crank out more than one CD (“are you going to play stuff from your latest CD?”) before reaching the age of 14. She chose Apwil’s lame band as an opener to enhance the impact of her (also inexplicably) professional “Canadian Idol” performance.

    Why do I keep reading and obsessing over this crap? We really need to start a 12 step program for CC addicts. I’ll pick Tommy as my sponsor.

  90. hogenmogen
    November 1st, 2006 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    JP: Maybe Ragu will be a permanent cast member of the JP menagerie. Because, what could possibly be better than to have a know-it-all walking around?
    “You’re a pain in the ass, Ragu.”
    “I’ve done research on inflammation of the gluteus. I may be helpful in that area!”

    MW: Tommie has certainly changed a lot – with the exception of the Steven Segal pony tail that went in and instantly out of style circa 1990.

  91. Concerned Citizen
    November 1st, 2006 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    #51 – No you’re not. I can just see a shroud falling off of Mel who then deadpans some smart-ass comment to Jesus, while Buddy throws in some colorful borscht-belt humor. Rob could could attempt to walk on water and do a pratfall. Wow, the possibilities are endless. Laura as Mary Magdalen confronted by an angry stone-throwing mob could say, “Oh, Rob…”

    Mary and the gang are going to intervention Ella, belittling her ESP gifts, and she’ll be the next to take the Aldo step. Before long there’s going to be a pile of cars and liquor bottles in that ravine.

  92. Harry Mirth
    November 1st, 2006 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    Tommie just uses the bible to hide his drug paraphernalia.

    Soon as he gets out, he is going back to Mary’s to get [Margo]ing high as a kite.

  93. benro
    November 1st, 2006 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    #90 – Please get your spelling straight

    MW – Tommy

    A3G – Tommie

  94. Blissful Ignoramus
    November 1st, 2006 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    I’m surprised to see Tommy wielding a Bible. With that hairdo, he’s primed for a conversion to Hare Krishna as soon as he’s out of the joint and has access to some buzz clippers. He should be offering his mom a plate of samosas.

  95. Albatross
    November 1st, 2006 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    Having been jammed feet-first into several cases of Spring Water, Shannon is actually trying to say that her own legs are broken. Unfortunately the pain and the glass shards are making it hard for Rebecca to speak clearly.

    Next strip: Rebecca pulls a “Carrie.”

  96. Leslee
    November 1st, 2006 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    JP: In the first panel Abbey appears to be caught interruptus, supported by what appears to be a ‘caught-me-with-my-mouthful’ look in the final panel. Or maybe she’s wistfully *remembering* Bobby and all the boats they used to wrestle in.

    Another horrid strip that I can’t get enough of!!!

  97. Albatross
    November 1st, 2006 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    Damn, need an edit feature:
    c/Rebecca to speak/Shannon to speak/
    :-(

  98. Inspector Chalupa
    November 1st, 2006 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    Is that girl in Momma wearing the classic barrel/suspenders combo that indicates extreme poverty?

    Also, am I the only one who is having trouble with comics loading on both the Seattle and Houston sites?

  99. pelagius
    November 1st, 2006 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    MW: Judging from Tommy’s cute little hairdo, I’d say he’s found a way to make himself a very popular inmate around the pen.

    JP: And speaking of hot man on man action, Raju knows what wrestlers like to eat…

  100. Allie Cat
    November 1st, 2006 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    The new monthly letters are up on FBOFW. No grotesque descriptions of Sheilarghh giving birth, but the astonishing revelation that Mewediff is a bed wetter. No kidding – she’s what, four? That seems like part of the territory.

    What’s interesting is that Mike points out the fissures in his marriage in his letter while Deanna gives advice on making “meat pudding” for the infirm. Which is almost as gross as Sheilagh’s labo(u)r.

    So the way I see it, Deanna is a boiling mass of rage covered in a thin veneer of helpful pharmacist -it’s only a matter of time before she starts covertly poisoning Mike.

    Well, a girl can dream.

  101. Josh
    November 1st, 2006 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    #98 Inspector Chalupa-

    No, you aren’t the only one. There seems to be some sort of trouble with the servers that the King Features strips are hosted on (all the syndicating sites just get them from that one server, so if it’s down, they’re all down). This is interfering with my dream of actually getting a post up before noon for once.

    At least I got to see Tommy waving a bible around this morning before things went south.

    Josh

  102. Indiebass
    November 1st, 2006 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    #55 Wirrrn FTW! As a commenter, I hereby nominate COTW!!!

  103. Harry Paratestes
    November 1st, 2006 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    MW: I think that a great story arc would be how Tommy learned to sew and and do tailoring as an inmate, like Jame Gumb did in ‘Silence of the Lambs’. That way he could get out of prison, come to Charterstone and start making a vest with tits on it for himself.

  104. Justafoob
    November 1st, 2006 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    Monthly foober letters. A lonely curmudgeons place to turn on the internets.

    Well, Liz is keeping up with Dudley on Skype, hmmm? She says she can hear everything that is going on there, just like she is in the next room.

    I wonder if she can hear Dudley getting his [Crankshaft] [Margo]ed?

    Good thing he and his “cousin” are not moaners, eh.

  105. Moesy
    November 1st, 2006 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    In today’s Mary Worth, we discover that Tommy hasn’t only found religion, but also found his femenine side.

    Seriously, is that supposed to be a dude? I guess he found his place in the prison hierarchy.

  106. ghastlymess
    November 1st, 2006 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    TDIET:

    Oh Al.

    Let’s assume that Daffia is correct, it does cost that much for…christ, what did she get? Sour cream, cheese, and milk? Nothing like a hunk of cheese smothered in sour cream to go with a cold glass of milk. I think this is a nod to Scaduto’s pierogi-filled upbringing.

    But!

    So how in the world would it be possible for someone to mistakenly give back the wrong change for a 6 dollar purchase? A shortage of one dollar bills?

    I can understand the wrong change being given if her total was $5.80, but if it was 6 even, there’d be no damn change to futz up! No way a ding dang dime is getting involved in this here transaction, AL.

    I just love the idea of Ally Scaggs ringing up his great grandson. “Hey there Barfo, how’s workin’ at the jalopy shop? By the way, what are the kids paying for a tub of sour cream these days? You don’t say! And milk? W-w-w-ha?? That much? Anyhoo, I think I got it, 23 skidoo!”

  107. Concerned Citizen
    November 1st, 2006 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    MW – 11/1 Iris is definitely tripping. The last panel is as surreal as any I have ever seen. Iris is looking at a tableau of a Tommy with big friendly eyes and a guard with an armlike appendage sticking out of his shoulder, and saying toherself, “Oh, yeah!” A TDIET moment if ever there was one. Horrified by her son’s use of drugs, but can’t seem to get enough herself.

  108. Poteet
    November 1st, 2006 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    RMMD — I don’t know what’s sadder, that I haven’t been able to access June’s DMV adventure today or that I care.

  109. Sean-o
    November 1st, 2006 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    FOOB – well, yesterday, 4Evah managed to retain the “d” at the end of their “ands” during their spooky number. However, Roadside dropped hers today. There is also a hilarious shot of her band in panel 5 where yet another guitar player (a very homely woman, possibly) is holding a big, clunky folky acoustic guitar. Has no one heard of solid body guitars in Canada? What about Alex Lifeson?

    (Also, Roadside’s utter contempt for Shannon makes us all wonder how WE would react.)

    Finally, doesn’t Roadside seem a bit “well devleoped” for a what, 13 or 14 year old?

  110. Indiebass
    November 1st, 2006 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    #98 Inspector Chalupa/ #101 Josh -

    I can’t tell you how [MARGO]ing frustrating this is. WaPo was no help either, and having read the comments and getting HALF the story, it’s like i’m jumping up and down behind a fence that is just too high for me to see over and all my friends are tall enough to watch the ‘big game’.

  111. Alan S.
    November 1st, 2006 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    I know this has been gone over time and again, but geez – is there some big box o’ facial feature clip art that they just potato-head together to make those godawful MW mugs? Iris looks like a surgical experiment gone terribly wrong. “Hey, let’s see what happens if we only pull back the left side of her skull!”

  112. Poteet
    November 1st, 2006 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    Foob — Thanks to the official Foobsite, which is still operating, I can report that Apwil inexplicably cut off at least twelve inches (um, twenty-four centimetres?) of her pants fringe between Monday’s strip and today’s strip, which is why her inexplicably really skinny calves are now on display. And the really tragic thing is that I am PROUD to have noticed this.

  113. benro
    November 1st, 2006 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    I think the characters in MW have been assembled by those guys in Star Trek with the huge brains who have never seen a human being before..

    Anyway, perhaps CC has accumulated so many readers that it is starting impose a “slashdot effect” on the comic web sites.. Josh should be getting kickbacks for all the extra hits he is generating for them.

  114. John
    November 1st, 2006 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    I’m new to this because of a misplaced interest in comics. I’m not totally onboard with the abuse heaped on FBOFW but I am absolutely delighting in the endless slagging of MW. She’s a beast -albeit an oddly two-dimensional frozen-featured one.

  115. Krazy Kat
    November 1st, 2006 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    In the Next FBOFW-Shannon, holding a plug and saying:
    “Never…mess..with..(points to her shirt) E-Vent…Ssstaaff!”

    Can’t some of you tech savy whippersnappers create a real life FBOFW a la the live action Mary Worth tableau now appearing on YouTube?

  116. Krazy Kat
    November 1st, 2006 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    Hey Speaking of For Better or For Worse–I just got my monthly letter from April! Apparently the Halloween show was a lot better than we thought it was:

    “Speaking of my Uncle Phil, he appeared on stage with my band at the school’s Halloween party, wearing a sheet and playing a piece of tubing with a trumpet bell on the end! We rocked – we looked freaky and we sounded good. Eva’s mom and dad helped us make our costumes. We used straw, tissue paper and hacked-up garbage bags to make the shredded-looking parts – we dipped everything in tempera paint mixed with water to give it a rotten, moldy look then just attached the stuff to black t-shirts and pants with safety pins so we could get it on and off quickly – we only had ten minutes to get ready in the wings and we didn’t want anyone to see us in the halls in costume because it was supposed to be a surprise. We had the lighting guy put a bunch of blue gels in the lights to make us all seem really pale – I think it worked! It was fun, that’s for sure. “

  117. jules
    November 1st, 2006 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    A3G: No, Luann! Don’t go in there! AAAAAaaaauuugh—

    Oh what the hell, go on in. It’s probably only Margoing Margo waiting for that rude Margo Eric anyway.

  118. yellojkt
    November 1st, 2006 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    April is 15-1/2 (DOB: April 1, 1991). Assuming Becky is about the same age as April, that would make her well within the age range for a teen pop star. Becks went roadside over the winter holidays of 2004-2005 and the Canadian age of consent is 14, so 16 is a pretty good guess.

    Celine Dion met her manager/husband when she was 13 and he was 39. Do the math. Ewwww. Now I have to go take a long shower.

  119. Poteet
    November 1st, 2006 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    Foob — I just read Michael’s November letter. I won’t attempt to describe it. I won’t moan, screech, howl, or hurl. I will just say that any minor stray thoughts I have had in recent days that maybe we’re sometimes being just a little too hard on Lynn are GONE.

    DEATH!!! DEATH TO FOOBVILLE!!!!!

  120. Indiebass
    November 1st, 2006 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    11/1 Crankshaft

    Look, I’m all for suspending disbelief in comics, or at any time for that matter, but who is giving out unwrapped, freshly prepared gourmet food? I mean, is this some weird-ass social commentary that I don’t get? And who is going to spend that kind of money on Halloween treats? I feel a Cathy-like “AAAAAACK!’ coming on.

  121. mattt
    November 1st, 2006 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    I’m pretty new to MW, but went back and looked at some of those old Tommy strips to get up to speed. Seems to me he’s always looked like a girl.

  122. benro
    November 1st, 2006 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    #120 – It could be worse, they could live in Maine.

  123. MossMoses
    November 1st, 2006 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    Tommy’s prison transformation seems genuine. Even his evil tattoos are gone. His Steve Perry-like falsetto operetta in the prison shower room has made him really popular with the other inmates there, too.

    Rebecca has now proven she is evil incarnate with her “get out of my way” dis’ to the loveable, heart-warming Shannon. On the plus side she’s built like Tiffany Towers.

  124. [Margo]Me
    November 1st, 2006 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    yellowjkt: so is it a Canadian thing, going roadside immediately upon age of consent and marrying your manager?

    And does Wm. Shatner know this?

  125. hogenmogen
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    Foob: I originally thought that Lynn Johnson could make the argument that the hoser-phone can make more-or-less precise notes in the hands of a skilled professional musician. The way you blow into a bugle, you can change notes (although not hit every one like on a piano), and if you were really good, you could alter the sound or pitch depending on the way that you twisted up the hose. However, it dawned on me that Uncle Foob is just waving the thing around, without even a microphone close by. The acoustics would probably have the audience scratching thier heads as to if some whacked out dude in a bedsheet with intermittent honking is scary or not. If I were a member of the marching band, and I was suddenly presented with that bleak outlook for my future, I’d run screaming in panic, burn all my sheet music and take up computer programming in a hurry.

    I also bet that the culprit of BeckaH’s technical glitch is April’s wire eating rabbit, but this time it got cooked royally. BeckaH passes out samples of “Fluffy on a stick”, and although she loses that band competition, is able to open a new line of culinary rabbit treats and makes a far greater fortune in that new line of work than she ever made as a local pop princess. April wins the competition but then Uncle Phil goes back to the Orchestra, his paying gig. Minus the “secret weapon”, they never win any more contests, never achieve so much as a record contract or any sort of attention or recognition. Gerald turns gay. April, ever enraged at the success of her childhood friend Becky prematurely ages and dies alone. The End.

  126. cheech wizard
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    The power was cut by Shannon, thereby getting even with Becky and demonstrating she’s not as dim as everyone thinks. Unfortunately, her chosen method of sabotage was to chew through the cable and she got fried. She survives, only to discover that the crude electroshock therapy has miraculously burned away the neurological blockages that were impeding her thought processes and she emerges as an articulate, intelligent young woman, though still fat. To keep her company as she recovers, April brings over her pet rabbit, with whom Shannon discovers she shares many common interests and forms a deep, personal bond.

  127. Non-Shannon
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    #44 fillmoreeast

    I may not know your age, gender, or sexual preferences, but I am suddenly inspired to say that “you so crazy, I think I wanna have yo’ baby.” And what a wonderfully literate baby it would doubtless be!

  128. Ned Ryerson
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    In panel 2 of Gil Thorp for 11/1, I’m not sure what kind of “drill” Sean and Stormy are engaged in, but Sean looks like he’s coming up for air (Focus, Stormy, focus! I haven’t got all day!) What’s Liz’s Mom going to say about this?

    Today’s Pluggers reminded me of the movie Drugstore Cowboy. Junkie Pluggers’ cars are equipped with a drug stash disposal chute for when the heat is on. You don’t expect a ginormous, doughnut besotted Plugger cop to walk back and survey a half mile of roadway to try and recover the jettisoned goods, do you?

  129. Tabby Lavalamp
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    Putting aside the obvious crime against nature that is the dog-man, what kind of dating agency has so many loser clients that they have them just hanging out until someone comes in looking for just their particular freaky mix of lax hygeine and awkward social skills?

  130. hogenmogen
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    #129 – Tabby – I was contemplating a comment like yours. However, I could not possibly have spilled it out with that kind of outrageous wordsmith skill. Good thing I put my coffee down before reading.

  131. Bobulus
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    With Nov.1′s FBoW, and the sound system going out for the pop diva girl, I’m really hoping she pulls a “Ashlee Simpson on Saturday Night Live” and just gives up and does a stupid little dance out of desperation.

  132. Tak, the Hideous New Girl
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    Hi there, new poster here.

    I just read Michael’s Monthly Letter on the FOOB site.

    Is it sick and wrong to want a comic strip character to die horribly?

  133. hogenmogen
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    What’s scary about Momma is that Twiggy actually seems to have a bit of a smile at being presented with the literal interpretation of her request, and not the shocked look of blind panic and appalled terror when realizing that she has entered the nexus between human kind and the Island of Dr. Moreau.

  134. hogenmogen
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    Maybe there’s a point to those who think that stem cell research should be banned.

  135. MossMoses
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    132: Tak, unfortunately Saintly Pattersons don’t die horrible painful deaths. They die heroic martyrs’ deaths, even their saintly dogs. Scrotum Chin is taking his sweet time starting his dirt nap but that is just so we can have more heartwarming episodes of the nurturing Iris and the unbridled love for ChinNuts of the whole saintly clan. His last saintly words will be “Bury me by the Farley tree”.

  136. some guy
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    Damn you all to hell for making me read Michael’s monthly FOOB letter.

  137. SmartPeopleOnIce
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    So, um, Mr. Smith just hangs out at the dating service until someone walks in looking for his type?

    I believe there’s a word for this type of establishment, and it ain’t “dating service”.

  138. kingklash
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    I remember once, long ago, in my childhood, some science teacher demonstrating a hose-a-siphonium-tube-a-mabob. He chould change the sound a bit by how fast he twirled the funnel end. I was hoping that Jazz Uncle would clock somebody in the head, but no dice.

  139. Concerned Citizen
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    Actually the weird facial distortions in MW resemble something out of the Hellraiser series. It just keeps getting stranger.

  140. yellojkt
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    (Margo) Me (#124): Let’s just say that if you believe Alanis Morissette’s lyrics, she’s not a very good counter-example, except her manager was married already. Come to think of it, so was Celine’s. Now Becky hooking up with a mddle-aged Granthony-esque Svengali would be a great story. Which is why it will never happen.

  141. Rick
    November 1st, 2006 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    Like others, apparently, I was impelled by something here to go to the official Foob site to read the letters, and I’m left with one question: why does Elly keep her glasses in her ass?

  142. Bradles
    November 1st, 2006 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    Okay, I’m making my first foray out of lurkdom.

    Johnny Hart, I’m no fashion maven, but uber baggy jeans (and making fun of them) peaked about nine years ago, when I was in middle school. What’s next? The return of bellbottoms? Why, that’s just crazy talk!

    Also, I see Shannon’s revenge as less ‘Carrie’ and more ‘Jawbreakers.’ Our favo(u)rite developmentally-disabled staff member, having failed to slip the pop tart arsenic-spiked water, has enough guile to cut the sound of ‘Becky Roadside and the Been Theres’, and insert a discreetly made loop recording of Beckers snapping, “get outta my way.” The noble tard will appear on stage, mic in hand, and shudder, “have… you… no… de…decency, … bitch?

    Rebbekahhh, publicly humiliated, will tear from the stage, mascara streaming, breasts flopping from the sequined bustier, as indignant Canadian youngsters hurl ‘oot’ laced insults at her fleeing form.

    She will make her way into the northern wilderness and revert to a natural state, surviving on roots and precious bits of moose carcass for 15 years, until park rangers, responding to ranchers’ complaints that the wild woman is a threat to their livestock, accidentally end her life with an oversized tranquilizer dart.

  143. SmartPeopleOnIce
    November 1st, 2006 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    #38 (gg) P.S. How sad is it that I checked the number of repeated letters in each word so I could type it correctly?

    I found myself doing the same thing a few days ago when typing in that hosy trumpet noise. Suddenly I realized, holy crap, I’m like one blunt head trauma away from Pluggerville.

    And given the beating FOOB takes here on a daily basis, you would think whats-her-name would just email us the text in convenient cut-and-paste form.

  144. blase
    November 1st, 2006 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    #111: Here’s an idea for a Flash game: Build Your Own Mary Worth Character. Assemble the features haphazardly on a blank face with a hairdo and presto!

  145. Magnolia
    November 1st, 2006 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    Okay, unfortunately I just read April’s monthly letter.

    Who the fuck writes these things? Who the fuck thinks that animated movies starring Ashton Kutcher are what fifteen-year-old girls are in to these days? Who the fuck thinks that fifteen year old girls actually give a shit about their comatose grandfathers? Who the fuck thinks that fifteen-year-old girls WRITE LETTERS?!

  146. Red Greenback
    November 1st, 2006 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    Instant karma… “Get oota my way”…”We’ve lost oor soond”

  147. Maura
    November 1st, 2006 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    I see a hoedown in RebekaH’s future.

  148. SmartPeopleOnIce
    November 1st, 2006 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    Well, until the comics pages start loading again (dammit! if there were only some other way to access the comics… perhaps if they were all collected on a big piece of paper somewhere…) I have a non-snark question.

    How much do comics writers make? Anyone know? Wasn’t there someone here yesterday claiming the FOOB woman was a millionaire?

    If Tinsley or Johnny Hart is a millionaire, I’m going home and burning my college degrees…

  149. Justafoob
    November 1st, 2006 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    Must …… go…… to…… Canada…….

    Must….. find…… Mike….. Paterson. . . .

    Must….. shove….. Thesaurus….. up…. his…. ass…..

    If he were real, would anyone hire a hack writer like him?

    Plus, he has some serious Oedipal issues that I just don’t think writing about in a book is going to help.

  150. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    November 1st, 2006 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    #84: you must live in a fairly well-off area, then – grocery stores around here are full of middle-aged female cashiers.

    #147: I see the same thing, only without the “down.”

  151. jules
    November 1st, 2006 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    Why, why, why did y’all tell me about the letters from the Foobs? And why couldn’t I overcome my own morbid curiosity?! I am physically ill. Seriously. I think the worst part is Lizardbreath’s claim that she used Grandpa’s stroke as part of a lesson on aging and disability…isn’t she teaching third graders? Shouldn’t she be teaching them cursive and long division, and letting their parents handle the sticky questions about mortality? Heeeeeeeeeelp! I need help. Maybe Deanna can give me something for anxiety.

  152. Derelict
    November 1st, 2006 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    For everyone having trouble loading comics at the Chronicle, here are a couple of other sites. None are complete, and you may not find the soap strips, but you can at least get a comix fix.

    http://www.ucomics.com/comics/

    http://www.comics.com

    http://seattletimes.nwsource.com

  153. Da Scrodfather
    November 1st, 2006 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    OK, Funky Winkerbean is CLEARLY going towards a “Did he/Didn’t he take advantage of her while she was drunk” message. I’d call it a climax, but nothing ever climaxes in the FW world.

  154. Key Lime Pie
    November 1st, 2006 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    MW
    “He seemed like a different person”

    Yeah, that might have something to do with the fact that Tommy the Tweaker is a woman now.

    That is one happy looking prison.

  155. Coach Z
    November 1st, 2006 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    Once again, I point the blame squarely at tight pants.

  156. smacky
    November 1st, 2006 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    Wow, those FOOB letters are gold!

    (1) Elly says her brother must be a great kisser because of “the shape of the muscle in his upper lip…”

    (2) Lizard ends with “Keep your wits about you, ladies. There are lots of Howards out there!”
    (Jesus, who ends a letter by saying “Be careful! Lots of guys wanna rape you!”)

    (3) Michael loves the characters in his crap novel more than his kids.

    (4) Liz wrote a separate letter to update the status of the pets.

  157. rich
    November 1st, 2006 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    126 (Cheech): “…and she emerges as an articulate, intelligent young woman, though still fat.”

    … Okay, I’m not proud of myself, but I thought that was hilarious!

    142: Good one, ex-lurker Bradles!

  158. Len
    November 1st, 2006 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    So newsman Chuck Scarburrow has a breaking news story…

    http://www.comics.com/wash/watch/archive/watch-20061030.html

    And that Rat who lives with the Pig and Zebra is already using the problem for campaign strategy!

    http://www.comics.com/comics/pearls/archive/pearls-20061101.html

    Do you artist/ writers KNOW each other?

  159. Zorba’s Little Brother
    November 1st, 2006 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    Bombcar (#79says:
    November 1st, 2006 at 9:32 am

    OK, someone make me feel stupid and explain the current Frazz. I’m not getting the whole silent mop thing.

    He’s supposed to be “Chief” from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. I’m waiting to see whom he smothers with a pillow.

    Nick Theodorakis

  160. Cornwhacker
    November 1st, 2006 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    JP: I still want to know the whole story behind boat-wrasslin’ Bobby. The Drivers all seem to know him: has he appeared in earlier storylines? He’s going to break poor Raju’s heart, isn’t he? I can just feel it.

  161. Mokey
    November 1st, 2006 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    So I just got the latest Monthly FOOBer in my inbox, and Lynn is trying to shill some Christmas cards.

    Her “Merchants of the Inn” features a nativity scene with a stunned Foobian Mary, Jesus and Joseph who gaze outside while just outside the manger, people obviously not of Foobian ancestry peddle cheap Christmas souveniers.

    So Lynn takes a shot at the commercialization of Christmas by marketing/selling a Christmas card that illustrates the… commercialization… of… Chrismas.

    How does Lynn not get that? This is the exact sort of hypocrisy the Kelpfroths or Roadside would be lambasted for. On a Sunday. In color.

    http://www.fborfw.com/store/catalog/product_info.php?cPath=41&products_id=31&osCsid=de96337b18a4a395b5eee71ef31bc586

  162. Franklin
    November 1st, 2006 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    A Plugger’s hose-a-phone is his cat’s intestinal tract.

  163. anne
    November 1st, 2006 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    158. Len — I didn’t notice that ’til you pointed it out. Can the CYH author tell us whether it is a coincidence or not?

  164. MossMoses
    November 1st, 2006 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    Shout out to Johnya:

    Is there any way you could make a foobimated hypnotic swirly out of Iris’ glasses? Those blinkies are inane.

  165. Dennis Jimenez
    November 1st, 2006 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    And here I thought it was a plugger’s banjo was strung with his cat’s intestinal tract.

    The banjo kid from Deliverance is one of my favorite pluggers.

  166. tubbytoast
    November 1st, 2006 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    What’s the backstory on Hats McTweedy in panel two of RMMD today?

  167. Harry Paratestes
    November 1st, 2006 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    #166
    That’s George “Babyface” Nelson, a noted ganster who chose to grace today’s strip as his penance for his sins.

  168. SmartPeopleOnIce
    November 1st, 2006 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    Weird.

    Today’s BC at comics.com is different from today’s BC at chron.

    Was chron afraid of the (wholly superfluous) religious theme? Afraid of who? The atheists? You’re insane Hart! We run this pro-christian strip and frothing godless will drag us out into the street and kill us! The Christians? You’re insane Hart! We run this pro-idolatry strip and frothing christians will drag us out into the street and kill us!.

    Maybe chron is just anti-lame. Oops, wait a minute, then they wouldn’t run BC at all.

    Maybe tommorow Hart can have Fat Broad (or what’s the other one? Cave Slut?) come by and get a crucifix tat on her ass.

  169. rich
    November 1st, 2006 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    SMOI, what’s the date on the comics.com BC strip? It looks like 11-4 or 11-9 — maybe it was run out of sequence. The one at chron clearly says 11-1.

  170. jules
    November 1st, 2006 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    I just checked out today’s Watch Your Head at Comics.com – and they claim that if I love this comic, I may also like “Luann.”

    Is there something wrong with me that I like Watch Your Head, but not “Luann”? Or have they gone a teetiny bit crazy over at Comics.com?

  171. benro
    November 1st, 2006 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    #168 – That is strange. The comics.com strip is definitely a sign of advanced dementia. Who gives themselves a tattoo of a Jesus Fish? I’ve never seen one. And what the hell is the deal with a 20-inch chest? Does he mean 20 inches wide, or 20 inches around? Either one doesn’t make sense..

  172. hogenmogen
    November 1st, 2006 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    #168 – SPOI – Wow. I read the version at chron.com in my local rag, and I thought that since Hart started making sense, that I had gone batsh!t insane. However, now that you have shown me an alternate version that doesn’t make any sense, my sanity is reassured. Why say you have a 20 inch chest if your chest is bigger than that? I knew a guy in college who was trying to pass himself off as some kind of macho stud online to some chick (some primitive version of the internet). He said he had a 60″ chest, but didn’t mention his 80″ waist. Why a “Christian” fish? Is a Bhuddist fish significantly different? Why not just say a mermaid and leave the irrelevant religious aspect out?

  173. rich
    November 1st, 2006 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    (Sorry, SPOI, not SMOI…)

    Maybe he means this kind of chest?

    Because a human 20″ chest would either be sumo-sized (measuring the imprint area) or tiny (measuring the circumference).

  174. rich
    November 1st, 2006 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    …besides, aren’t tattoos punishable by death, to Bible literalists? (Leviticus 19:28)

  175. Donald The Anarchist
    November 1st, 2006 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    You Know

    You know your shoes are too tight when your feet ache more than your aging, arthritic back.

    You know your car’s tires are overinflated when you drive into a lake and the car doesn’t sink…and it’s not a VW

    You know your hat’s too big when you put it on and you can’t see anything.

    Have I figured out the formula yet?

  176. Vince M.
    November 1st, 2006 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    159: Aww, of course! And here I was racking my brain for novels featuring Emmett Kelly.

  177. Grendell
    November 1st, 2006 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

    #106: just wanted to say that i think nothing on this page ever made me laugh as hard as your comment just did.

  178. Len
    November 1st, 2006 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    #174 — If he’s tattooed, he couldn’t be buried in an Orthodox Jewish cemetery. That should make a Fundamentalist Christian caveman think twice. :-)

    #172 — Hogenmogen, he means (I think) by “Christian fish” the stylized fish-shape (sometimes labelled “Ichtheos”) that Roman Christians purportedly used to identify themselves to each other during the period of persecuting early Christianity. Some modern Fundies make copies to glue on their dashboards, etc. And pro-Evolution Theory people do a take-off with four legs and labelled “Darwin.”

  179. Pendragon
    November 1st, 2006 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    #168 – The other female in BC is “Cute Chick”. Mr. Hart is Cave Slut.

  180. bujoojoo
    November 1st, 2006 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

    Momma – In the comics, no one knows you’re a dog…

  181. King Folderol
    November 1st, 2006 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    You Know you’re reading an incredibly bad comic strip when you can hear the blood congealing in your head every time you read it.

    JP – How many lamps do these people have? Unless Soph sprinted to the other side of the house. But then in panel 3 it looks like there’s an empty picture frame behind Abbey. Perhaps it’s symbolic of the shifting landscape in Judge Parkerville, but I think it’s more symbolic of the illustrators newly emerging drinking problem.

    Momma – Every once in a while, Momma moves from simply inane to utterly surreal. There was a Momma once where Mel Lazarus imagined if Tina ran a restaurant and Momma was the only customer. It was a similarly surreal experience, and I found myself laughing, not because it was funny but because not to laugh would have caused “blood to shoot out of my eyes, and the next thing I knew they’d find me the next morning dead in my bathtub” (courtesy of Lewis Black).

    MW – I’ve noticed that Mary Worth pretty much says what she’s going to say no matter what. She’s not reacting to what’s being said to her. It’s as if she not being fed the right lines for her stupid platitudes to work quite right.

  182. suseyblue
    November 2nd, 2006 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    Oh, Ignoramus (#94) you made me so happy I sporked lassi. COTW with your samosas.

  183. Wanderlust
    November 2nd, 2006 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    160. Cornwhacker — yes, Bobby is going to break Raju’s heart and Abbey will be waiting with open arms for broken, follically and phallically confused Raju.

  184. kostia
    November 2nd, 2006 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    I’d completely forgotten Momma had a daughter (having not looked at the strip in many years), and for some reason my initial thought on seeing her (Tina, is it?) was her uncanny resemblance to Natasha Gregson Wagner on Pasadena. Uncanny.

  185. dandruff home remedy
    April 21st, 2011 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    Good stuff you have here, I was going to mention this to a good friend of mine

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