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Who’s really on top?

Panels from Mary Worth, 10/31/10

After a lunch spent mostly insulting and undermining Adrian, Jill leaves for an appointment, but the Sunday throwaway panels thoughtfully give us a glimpse of her as she walks away. Curiously, as she leaves the restaurant, her face melts from the cruel mask she’s worn throughout this episode into the dead-eyed, plump-lipped look of vagueness more typical for women in this strip. Could it be that she’s been cast into the role of emotional abuser against her will? That the masochistic Adrian pays her for the public insults and cruelty to satisfy some sick urge that her “perfect” husband-to-be Scott can’t know about? And this has been going on for months or years? No wonder she looks so exhausted in that second panel.

Panel from Marvin, 10/31/10

Just about all comic strip text is done on computers these days, so the strangely smaller font on “little candy extortionists” is probably just a lazy way for the artist to cram the words into the space available instead of rewriting or redrawing. Still, it does give the impression that something’s been changed at the last minute, and I sincerely hope that this word balloon originally ended in two or three of the foulest cuss words you can imagine.

Crankshaft, 10/31/10

The most horrifying thing any inhabitant of the Funkyverse can see is of course a member of the medical profession, since they will be spending their last agonizing months of life in a hospital, and sooner rather than later.

220 responses to “Who’s really on top?”

  1. Ed Dravecky
    October 31st, 2010 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    Fred Basset meets his doom in a spooky forest and thus ends a… what? Fred Basset lives while My Cage and Cleats die? This truly is the devil’s holiday.

  2. Uncle Lumpy
    October 31st, 2010 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    Jill Black: Reluctant Dominatrix

    Sign me up!

  3. Bill Peschel
    October 31st, 2010 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    So how is the Washington Redskins player in the third from last panel supposed to be scary? If he can’t scare the Detroit Lions this past Sunday, how can he compete with the prospect of future cancer surgery?

  4. Bryan
    October 31st, 2010 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#1): Fred Basset meets his doom in a spooky forest and thus ends a… what? Fred Basset lives while My Cage and Cleats die? This truly is the devil’s holiday.

    Yeah, Fred Basset and Crock staying alive while My Cage dies does make me question the possibility of justice in an unfeeling universe.

  5. Rusty
    October 31st, 2010 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    These are O.R. scrubs.

  6. Joe Blevins
    October 31st, 2010 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    MW: I don’t know what kind of lunch joint that is, but for Jill to hear Adrian and Mary’s conversation from where she’s standing, they’d pretty much have to be yelling. Acceptable behavior in Mark Trail, perhaps, but uncouth here in Santa Royale. Try to keep your voices down, ladies.

    ‘SHAFT: I like the specificity of “your surgeon” rather than just “a surgeon” or even just “a doctor,” which is what 99% of kids would say in that situation. I get the feeling our young scrub-wearer is going to start practicing for his future profession… and sooner rather than later. If you ever make direct eye contact with a person while saying the words, “One day I’ll be your surgeon,” your real future is as a homicidal sociopath. Someday, people will be dressing up like that kid for Halloween!

  7. Captain Thunder
    October 31st, 2010 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    “Still, it does give the impression that something’s been changed at the last minute, and I sincerely hope that this word balloon originally ended in two or three of the foulest cuss words you can imagine.”

    So, what, it originally said, “You just don’t look scary enough to frighten off the greedy marvin marvin marvin”?

  8. Ed Dravecky
    October 31st, 2010 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    Look out, Brenda Starr! You’re about to be attacked by Wolverine and Doctor Strange. If only Spider-Man were around to… oh, right, never mind. You’re on your own, Brenda.

  9. numbskull72
    October 31st, 2010 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    Re: Crankshaft, Sat. 10/30

    Oh hell no! Today we find out that Crankshaft is an Ohio State Buckeye fan, which means I have something in common with the cranky smug old prick! I will now remove my brain through my ear with a pair of tweezers.

  10. Spunde
    October 31st, 2010 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: What’s scary is the thought that he’ll live long enough for the kid to become his surgeon. And every day of his life will be lived with Crankshaft.

    (Of course, any actual child would have answered, “Because it’s Halloween.”)

  11. greghousesgf
    October 31st, 2010 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    Oh, are they, Rusty?

  12. Chance
    October 31st, 2010 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    I dislike it when the comics take the lazy joke set-up; no one would ask “Why are you dressed in surgical scrubs?” to a child at Halloween, because the obvious answer is “Because it’s my costume, you moron. I’m dressed up. For Halloween. As a surgeon.”

    But more than that, I’m depressed that Batiuk honestly seems to think that everything is horrible. Children growing up? Wanting to have a noble, helpful profession? Or maybe just having fun for a night of dressing up? The unimaginable horror of it all!

  13. Chance
    October 31st, 2010 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    @Spunde (#10): Missed it by that much! Because I had to vent more bile.

  14. Chance
    October 31st, 2010 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    @Rusty (#5): O.R. they?

  15. ElkMeadow
    October 31st, 2010 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Other than it’s the usual over-done “Frank is no fun and a snotty jerk, it is the end of steampunk.

  16. Rusty
    October 31st, 2010 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    @greghousesgf (#11): That line kills me.

  17. ElkMeadow
    October 31st, 2010 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    @Spunde (#10):

    Great plug for voting for the local school bond. Which always seems to pass in the Funkyverse, making the place even more unreal.

  18. Meander
    October 31st, 2010 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    Looks like “MyCage” is going webcomic-only, which is great news. I don’t think that he realizes it yet, so let’s give him some encouragement:

    http://mycagecomic.com/?p=485

    ~~

  19. ElkMeadow
    October 31st, 2010 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    R.I.P. My Cage. Thanks, and I hope to see your next venue soon!

  20. ElkMeadow
    October 31st, 2010 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    Whoa, I did not see the update–looks like my wish is already granted! Web-com, please!!!

  21. Sequitur
    October 31st, 2010 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    C’Shaft: “Because one day I’ll be your surgeon!”

    Leave it to the Crankshaft strip to have a cutting remark.

  22. John C Fremont
    October 31st, 2010 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#20): Your wish is granted. Long live Jambi.

  23. demoncat
    October 31st, 2010 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

    jill face changing is due to the fact she has figured out she will be the next target of Mary worth espically after all she did to Adrien. juniors expression is one of evil for he is planning on giving the little candy extorists if they survive marvin his own treat.

  24. Alison
    October 31st, 2010 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

    Who asks a kid “Why are you dressed as a surgeon?” on Halloween? Does he not understand the concept of trick-or-treating? Does he ask this to every kid who comes to the door? “Why are you dressed as a witch?” “Why are you dressed as a pirate?” “Why are you dressed as a ghost?” “Why are you dressed as a football player?” etc etc etc. It’s gonna be a loooong night!

  25. Hank
    October 31st, 2010 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    On a meta note, is it me or is everyone being forced to enter some sort of ad spam code before reading strips at the Dean Booth’s Comics Time tunnel? If so, is there any way to get rid of it?

  26. Poteet
    October 31st, 2010 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    S-M — So what’s the explanation for the mole dude? Was he supposedly bitten by a radioactive mole? And why in the name of Cerunnos does a guy who’s supposed to be a mole have tentacles?

    I wish the dweebs who inhabit this strip would quit picking on Mother Nature and just use clown costumes and makeup. That would still allow them to express their individuality, it would be far more appropriate to their usual modes of action, and they would also perform a therapeutic function, in that after watching Clown-Man in action for a few months, I’ll bet I’d be totally over my IT trauma.

  27. Poteet
    October 31st, 2010 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    @Hank (#25): Some evil entity has hexed the comics at Dean’s site. But I’ll continue to visit for the wonderful panel alterations. Thanks, Dean!

  28. Steve the Pocket
    October 31st, 2010 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

    B.C.: Excellent.

    Between Friends: Man, this comic is like if the writers of awkwardly-structured zombie comics took over Cathy. At least Guisewite tried to be clever and sum everything up in some TDIET-esque situational irony.

    Crankshaft: One day, you may be operated on by someone who used to be a kid! SHOCKING.

    Crock: One panel of actual joke, followed by two panels of explaining it for the brain-dead geriatric readers.

    Curtis: Oh god the perspective on those cars, it burns!

    Daddy’s Home: Quoth the reader, “Je l’adore.”

    Funky Winkerbean: Yes, please, let’s do turn back the years to when this comic was still entertaining, and not a putrid pile of pretentious piddle. Oh, wait, you’d rather stay pretentious and occasionally milk the empty nostalgia? Well screw you too.

    R.I.P. Cleats and My Cage. The revolution will not be syndicated, indeed. ¡Viva la Internet!

  29. Poteet
    October 31st, 2010 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    A3G — Could we please have just one small example of one “adventure,” please? I’d like to know if we’re talking about “Last year, for six months, I shacked up with a sexy porter near Namche Bazaar” or “Once, in San Francisco, I tried sushi.”

  30. timmy the dying boy
    October 31st, 2010 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: He’d feel a lot worse if he knew that the kid only said “surgeon” because he couldn’t pronounce “oncologist.”

  31. bunivasal
    October 31st, 2010 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    “That is scary.” Muses Jeff. “That I could suffer this hellish life long enough for that kid to complete medical school.”

  32. bunivasal
    October 31st, 2010 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    Jim Brozman’s art is a tiny middle finger to every artist who has ever tried to get into the paper, My Cage especially.

    That was originally going to be lighthearted and funny, but I eventually decided I hate Dick Tracy too much to think of something clever to say about it’s horrible art.

  33. AndyL
    October 31st, 2010 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    More realistic punchline : “Because it’s Halloween! Moron!”

  34. Buck Ripsnort
    October 31st, 2010 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    @Bill Peschel (#3): Obviously, Batiuk had money on the ‘Skins.

  35. Walker of Dog
    October 31st, 2010 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

    Joe Theismann arrives on another one of his errands for Satan. Thanks to the fortuitous timing, he’ll score some of those tiny boxes of Milk Duds before he has to get down to business.

  36. Anonymous
    October 31st, 2010 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#26): Maybe he’s a Star-nosed Mole.

  37. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 31st, 2010 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#36): at least he’s not a Star-Belly Sneetch.

  38. Henchman 21
    October 31st, 2010 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

    One day, that kid will be your surgeon. His friends will be, from left to right, your seafood restaurant waiter, dead from cancer, dead from cancer and unable to move on, the Republican nominee for Senator from Delaware, playing for a team that can’t even beat the Detroit Lions, and your killer. Happy Halloween!

  39. McManx
    October 31st, 2010 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft – Let’s see, he’s with a group of kids in costume; he’s bumming candy; he’s got a bag with a jack o’lantern on it. So he’s wearing surgical scrubs because … it’s Happy Career Day? Aw, come on Batiuk. You missed the obvious. You should have had one kid in a red hat and a bulbous nose who says when asked “I’m the old son of a bitch who drives my school bus.” Now that would have been scarey funny.

  40. Pseudo3D
    October 31st, 2010 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    Is there any Batiuk strip that has any characters genuinely enjoying themselves with the resident namesake jerks (Crankshaft and Funky) in company, and conscious?

  41. Mibbitmaker
    October 31st, 2010 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    I was all too painfully aware of My Cage‘s (happily temporary) demise. However, I didn’t realize Cleats was coming to an end at the same time. I certainly apologize about my snark on the Saturday strip (though the “replacement” strip does have possibilities). This week, Monday-Sunday, was a perfect way to end it.

    And may the My Cage webcomic arrive faster and more certainly than the Arrested Development movie seems to be.

  42. Mibbitmaker
    October 31st, 2010 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#41): My ‘bracket-/-i-bracket’ has failed AD. Apology again.

  43. Lisa
    October 31st, 2010 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    I was so glad to read Ed Power’s blog and to know that My Cage will live on! Hooray!! :o)

  44. tb4000
    October 31st, 2010 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    S-M: Mole Man thinks that the man with the proportionate strength of a spider is a big deal on the surface.

    Bro, if you only knew how wrong you were.

  45. OKStan
    October 31st, 2010 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    Sorry to hear “Cleats” is discontinues as well. I know “My Cage” will be mourned, but I really liked “Cleats”. They’d get a little weird at times, and truly surreal, but it kept it’s heart.
    Oh, check out the Sunday edition of it. Really a morbid little ending.

  46. captainswift
    October 31st, 2010 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    “Why are you dressed in surgical scrubs? You specifically. I couldn’t give two fucks why the rest of you kids are dressed in specific costumes.”

  47. Anonymous
    October 31st, 2010 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

    Cranky – It makes you wonder what’s going through his head. ‘Gee, for some reason tonight, there have been a number of little kids knocking at my door, dressed oddly, asking for candy. I guess it’s quite fortunate that I just happen to have a bowl of candy nearby. I don’t know, perhaps I should ask them why they are engaged in this strange behavior, or at least discern why they have dressed the way they have.’

    JP – Today’s strip seems vaguely pornographic.

    Funky – That sign would be much more accurate if it simply read ‘Meet Les Moore, Jerk.’

  48. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 31st, 2010 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

    One Big Happy — Together they make one normal couple!

    Ripley’s — It’s been downhill for Kato since the “Green Hornet” TV series
    was canceled!

    Watch Your Head — Cory gets dissed by Hagar the Horrible of all people!

    Mark Trail — “There are eight million tails in Jackelrod’s City. This has been
    one of them.”

  49. Anonymous
    October 31st, 2010 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#47): This one was me. Stupid me deleting my browsing history.

  50. ElkMeadow
    October 31st, 2010 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    @OKStan (#45):

    Wonderful ending for Cleats, although I’d rather that it hadn’t ended. The game goes on.

  51. Scott Bot
    October 31st, 2010 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#47): @Anonymous (#49): Ok, I give up on this…

  52. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 31st, 2010 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

    @bunivasal (#32):

    Don’t blame Jim Brozman… blame Dick Locher and Tribune Media for not holding him to a higher standard!

    @ElkMeadow (#50):

    The “game goes on” in the form of Bill Hinds’ OTHER sports strip, Tank McNamara!

  53. Dr. Weird
    October 31st, 2010 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#362):

    Regarding the giant robot in Sinfest, that’s the original Mobile Suit Gundam, RX-78-2, the one that started it all. Everyone in there is a “classic” Japanese character, which I found to be a nice touch.

    Luann

    Steampunk outfits reflect a more genteel time that never was, and don’t have bare knees. That’s practically pornographic for the “period.”

  54. Ukulele Ike
    October 31st, 2010 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

    @Dr. Weird (#53): “Everyone in there is a “classic” Japanese character”

    Time for me to go discover Urusei Yatsura. Yummy.

  55. Sequitur
    October 31st, 2010 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

    MT: Yea! GIraffes!

    They like necking and giving a bit of tongue.

  56. Sgt. Stoned
    October 31st, 2010 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

    MW: Jill may be a dominatrix, but if she is it’s because, like all dominatrices, she has never found love; and if she isn’t, she is a meanie because, well,she has never found love.

    Mrs. D’Buckworth in yesterday’s Dick Tracy looks like a cross between Mary Worth and Angela Lansbury in “The Manchurian Candidate”.

  57. Stu
    October 31st, 2010 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

    I didn’t think the Steampunk thing could seem any stupider, but then that’s Luann–it surprises me every day!

  58. Comcis Fan
    November 1st, 2010 at 12:30 am [Reply]

    MW (Monday): Perhaps Adrian will invite George Costanza along to help choose wedding invitations.

  59. Baka Gaijin
    November 1st, 2010 at 12:52 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#29): A3G — “Could we please have just one small example of one ‘adventure,’ please? I’d like to know if we’re talking about ‘Last year, for six months, I shacked up with a sexy porter near Namche Bazaar’ or ‘Once, in San Francisco, I tried sushi.‘” It’s more like “Once, in Little Italy, I tried pizza.” Come on, it’s Apartment 3-G we’re talking about.

    @Comcis Fan (#58): We could only be so lucky.

  60. ElkMeadow
    November 1st, 2010 at 12:52 am [Reply]

    That it not how it works! No cashier would swipe Crankshaft’s credit card. The customer does it in the card reader. Once again, the strip is at least three years out of date. And because it’s been that long since he last used it, the card company has closed his account and the poor cashier will feel his wrath.

    Sorry, Adrian. You can’t get married without Jill’s permission. Although that will soon be a moot point, as you go driving distracted down the street, with your hands off of the steering wheel.

    I’ll take pity candy! Got any Tootsie pops?

    Gee, even in reruns, Cathy is still more current that FOOB.

    Meanwhile, at the webcom Sailor Twain, basic hygiene goes out the window.

  61. ElkMeadow
    November 1st, 2010 at 12:55 am [Reply]

  62. ElkMeadow
    November 1st, 2010 at 12:58 am [Reply]

    @Dr. Weird (#53):

    Steampunk outfits reflect a more genteel time that never was, and don’t have bare knees. That’s practically pornographic for the “period.”

    What she’s wearing is more Lolita style. Also, where was Frank’s outrage last year, when Gunther made her–and she wore–the pole dancer costume that had a witch’s hat? And it also had a corset, which made it about as steampunk as wearing a top hat with goggles.

  63. bats :[
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:20 am [Reply]

    Hope everyone’s home safe and sound after a good Halloween.
    Within reason…

  64. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:36 am [Reply]

    11/1

    MW: And she’s paid to cut into people. Scary.

    Phantom: Rhodia prison grounds seem to overlap with Sam and Abbey’s horse farm. They have wine tastings every other weekend too.

    OBH: I’m really trying not to read into the dialogue here.

    Crock: You should be able to find Captain Preppie with your nose too, since he’s walking like he just crapped his pants.

    GT: One’s selfish. The other doesn’t care. They’re a match made in Heaven.

    SFx: Is Animal-Town some some kind of postage-stamp monarchy? Or did Sly and Max just stumble into the annual RenFest?

    FW: That’s why Funky and Les have stayed friends all these years. They’re both connoisseurs of having their asses kissed.

    A3G: Aunt Iris’ pies are a class 3 controlled substance.

  65. Poteet
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:39 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#59): HAR! I suppose you’re right.

  66. Poteet
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:42 am [Reply]

    11/1 MW — “I don’t know what I should do, Mary! I loved the first invitation design I looked at, but Jill hated it! I don’t know what I should do, Mary! I loved the first wedding cake photo I looked at, but Jill hated it! I don’t know what I should do, Mary! I loved the first flower arrangements I looked at, but Jill hated it!”

    Someone hand me a gun.

  67. bats :[
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:44 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#66): loaded, I assume.

  68. FOOBed again
    November 1st, 2010 at 2:20 am [Reply]

    9CL: Am I just imagining things, or does Fernanda look kind of like a female Amos?

  69. This Guy
    November 1st, 2010 at 2:50 am [Reply]

    Okay, is The Wizard of Id brain trust challenging themselves to see how many neurological disorders they can mischaracterize?

  70. Jack Parsons
    November 1st, 2010 at 3:03 am [Reply]

    Today’s Henry: WTF?

  71. Apeman
    November 1st, 2010 at 3:08 am [Reply]

    The real answer to “Why are you dressed in surgical scrubs?” is … (drum roll) … “Because my parents are too goddam cheap to buy me a costume and made me wear my mom’s old scrubs!” After all, he’s a child in the Funkyverse and there’s no way in hell he’s allowed to be happy or have fun.

  72. Apeman
    November 1st, 2010 at 3:11 am [Reply]

    @Jack Parsons (#70): “WTF?” was my reaction, but it was to the fact that Henry is still being published.

  73. Jack Parsons
    November 1st, 2010 at 3:22 am [Reply]

    And today’s Mandrake: Jesus Lord, what IS that?

  74. Alfred E. Neuman
    November 1st, 2010 at 3:27 am [Reply]

    @Jack Parsons (#70): The first R-rated Henry strip?

  75. Readem and Laf
    November 1st, 2010 at 4:01 am [Reply]

    MT What are the odds that there is a cell phone tower anywhere near Lost Forest? Hence, what good will a cell phone be when you’re facing a gun-toting wannabe politician alone in a remote location?

  76. John C Fremont
    November 1st, 2010 at 6:37 am [Reply]

    GT – You know, a lot of people are cursed with dry, flaky skin, but not Cody. His skin is blessed with an abundance of moisture.

  77. gleeb
    November 1st, 2010 at 6:51 am [Reply]

    Slylock: Why does being incorrect in his deduction make the rat a thief? Also, Slylock is a toadying, aristo-comforting climber, but we knew that.

  78. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 1st, 2010 at 8:12 am [Reply]

    MT: Wow, that is some look of dead-eyed despair on ol’ “Lucky” there. I bet he’s wishing now that Senator McCrony had taken his shot when he had the chance.

    MW: We’re all astounded by Mary’s powers of mind control, but Jill might have her beat. Then again, “mind” control might not be the best phrase to use when discussing Adrian’s susceptibility—maybe “empty, wind-whistling void” control, or “box of rocks” control.

  79. Tom Allen
    November 1st, 2010 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    In the Funkyverse hospital stays are always sooner rather than later, as well as more frequent and less interesting.

  80. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 1st, 2010 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    Blondie: yay Iron Chef ref!

    F-: I laughed, weakly.

    Dilbert: ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

    MG&G: *snurk*

    Luann: “Hey Boy” call back. Still lame.

    Mutts: o Great Maker, not another week of Shelter Stories!

    PMP: like THAT joke has never been done before. sheesh.

    RwO: we had more Bat-Girls than Bat-Men show up last night, actually, most of them around 5 or 6 years old. Clever strip for the day after Halloween.

    Love Is . . . waiting for the roofies to kick in, version eleventydozenthandtwo.

    standard disclaimer apologizing for any “not caught up yet” oversnark.

    Redid my “build your own Chron page” to remove Cleats and My Cage (*cries*) and added a few, since I refuse to deal with pop-ups and captchas.

  81. One-eyed Wolfdog
    November 1st, 2010 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    Today’s BB reminds me (tangentially, but quite appropriately) that you can sing the words of the Spider-Man theme song to the tune of Brahms’ famous snooze-inducer.

  82. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 1st, 2010 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    @Jack Parsons (#70): It looks like Henry isn’t strong enough to get toothpaste from the tube, so he brings it to the girl. But he is strong enough to do a one-handed flip over the tea kettle. So the initial WTF-ness remains.

  83. Amateur
    November 1st, 2010 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    MW: Always go with the first dress you try on, Adrian. Just like you’ve always gone with the first guy who looked at you. Look how well that’s worked out in the past.

    Lord help me, I think I’m channeling Jill.

  84. wossname
    November 1st, 2010 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    DT – If everybody stands back, who is he going to shoot?

    Sly – now just wait a minute. Yes, Reeky Rodney is lying, and we all know chimps don’t have tails. But does that mean Reeky Rodney stole the crown? What kind of alleged deductive reasoning is that? You just always blame the rats for everything, Slylock, you speciesist vulpine-chauvinist pig!!

    S-M – “It’ll be Spidey vs. Monster to the finish – or until ‘Days of Our Lives’ begins, whichever comes first.”

  85. But What Do I Know?
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    MW–”People can say want they want. It doesn’t matter.”

    Except for me–do as I say or I will be forced to expose you to a public shaming!!!

  86. Plinko Commie
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    monday bloody monday

    Funky Winkerbean: If you think about, it’s not THAT generous that Funky would allow Montoni’s to host a book signing event. Given the regular crew there — the surly alcoholic owner, the waitress who lost her arm because of the alcoholic owner’s drunken kid in an accident immortalized in a Fathead sticker on the wall, the Cancer Whisperer, Crazy and a bunch of customers with undiagnosed terminal illnesses — this might be the only way to pump fresh, healthy blood into the place.

    Family Circus: The mouth says Billy gorged on chocolate (at least we’ll take the author’s implied word on that). But the eyes say he found Daddy’s crack pipe.

    Popeye: At least Olive acknowledges that Tuna Salad is, in fact, a mermaid. And props be to the author for calling her Tuna Salad instead of Tuna Fish, which most people do.

    Pluggers: Of course there’s no doctors around! You can’t get malpractice insurance if you set up shop in downtown Pluggerdelphia, where the streets are lined with trans fats.

    Marvin: You think this is gross? What you don’t realize is that Marvin’s pants were white at the start of the day.

    Blondie: I’m willing to forgive the very odd proportions of the inside of Herb’s car in the second panel because the anonymous guy sitting next to Dagwood is so happy watching Spongebob. It’s such a sweet moment that you forget that he’s probably going to a job where lives are at stake and he’s blissed out on kids’ fare.

    Beetle Bailey: Good news: Gizmo has finally taught Camp Swampy how to use cell phones. Bad news: They’re using them because they’re so out of shape, they use them so they don’t have to walk 20 feet from their desks to the barracks.

    Snuffy Smith: Good news: The economic stimulus package has finally hit Hootin Holler. Bad news: It’s the one Roosevelt signed. But at least Lukey finally has enough money to get those solid-gold overalls he’s always wanted.

    Shoe: 3 a.m. might be a BIT early to start drinking, but hey, it’s your life. And if that life is in Treetops, maybe 3 a.m. is a bit late.

    The Wizard of Id: The donkey pulling the cart carrying a gas-powered lawnmower is a head-scratcher, until you realize that thing you think is the sun is actually some form of UFO sending deadly brain waves to the kingdom’s inhabitants. Too bad they chose Id, where gray matter is what the Spook gets for breakfast. Secondary question: Since when does Id have grass?

  87. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    @One-eyed Wolfdog (#81): Wolfdog! where ya been, mate?!?

  88. Russ H
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    In that Crankshaft strip, I keep seeing a title caption…
    “DEXTER…THE EARLY YEARS”

  89. One-eyed Wolfdog
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    Oh you know here and there hither and yon etc.

  90. agony
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    Second time this week I’ve laughed out loud at Pickles.

    9CW, however, still only fills me with vague disgust.

  91. Scott Bot
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    JP – Sam is into ladies shoes? Who would have guessed?

    Luann – Hey Boy? NO!!!! Not again!!!

    Pluggers – Mrs. Plugger looks like she just wants to give her hubby a smack upside the head with the book in her hands.

    Slylock Fox – Slylock better not let Cassandra catch him at some other woman’s bedside…

  92. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    9“Yes. All about you. I heard everything.”
    Today’s nominee for the category of things I’ve never heard a human being say.

    Dick – So the gun that looks like a bracelet charm in her hand looks much larger in his hand. That’s not how relative scale works. Or weaponry. Or optics. Or drawing. Or anything.

    My Cage – It’s really gone. Crud-ola. On the plus side, maybe they’ll keep running Sunday’s strip here every day to remind me to go to the URL and keep up with the classic strips.

    @Jack Parsons (#70): It’s obviously some kind of metaphor for a hand job. (Curse you for posting first, Alfred E. Neuman!)

    @One-eyed Wolfdog (#81): But if you put other words into Brahms’s Lullaby, you miss the tender line about shutting your big bloodshot eyes!

  93. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    ps: 92 is me. I know it already says that. I just like to assert my identity now and then.

  94. Tacobob
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    SIGH. Good-Bye (Until it pops up in Web Comic Form) My Cage. It’s sad to see new comics like this pass, while people will be reading (and not laughing) at comics like Blondie and Family Circus till the end of time. :|

  95. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#92): Your Tracy snark is much COTW-worthy.

  96. TheDiva
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: Cranky automatically suspects the rest of the world is out to get him, which is a) a reflection of his own misanthropic, malevolent personality and/or b) entirely accurate, given the sheer number of people he’s pissed off in his unnaturally long life.

    FW: I think Batiuk is trying to sell his cavalcade of misery by making his characters so hateful that we want to see them suffer. At least I hope so–the only other option is that he really does think their behavior is humorous and endearing, and I shudder at the sort of twisted mind that could arrive at that conclusion.

    Luann: Aaaaagh, and I had just blissfully forgotten that song, too…

    MT: Wow, imagine how many parasites are in that kid’s hair now…

    MW: Christ, how does this woman diagnose her patients? “It looks like a stomach ulcer, but Mr. Andrews is convinced he has cancer! I don’t know what to do!”

    SM: Vegas is giving the monster at 3-1.

  97. Dennis Jimenez
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    MW – Where do Ian and Toby stand on all this? Is the Charterstone community room even available for the reception?

  98. Sequitur
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    @Jack Parsons (#70): “WTF” should be the real name of the strip “Henry.”

  99. Patrick
    November 1st, 2010 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    “People can say what they want. It doesn’t matter.” Sage advice from the double doors. I find that double doors give the best life coaching, followed by automatic sliding doors. Don’t listen to revolving doors, though. They only think of themselves.

  100. Stu
    November 1st, 2010 at 10:43 am [Reply]

  101. Walker of Dog
    November 1st, 2010 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    MW: Adrian drives some Romanian junker with no front-seat console and a missing door. Cozy and well-ventilated, sure, but not very confidence-inspiring for her patients. The AMA will not be pleased.

    GT: Cody’s white pupils are unsettling.

    FC: Billy’s pudgy hands and stubby fingers are just slowing him down. His binge-eating will be much more efficient once he loops those bag handles over his ears.

    FW: Batiuk’s subconscious self-loathing slips out in the second panel. ASSI9 = asinine.
    Why yes, yes it is.

    MT: Lucky wonders how hard it is to catch chronic wasting disease.

    Phan: Diana has really gotten inside the warden’s head. Better split open that horse to make sure Prisoner Cole isn’t trying to smuggle herself to Aqueduct.

  102. commodorejohn
    November 1st, 2010 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    A3G – Iris, did you just lead your niece into a really stupid question and then slam her with a perfectly sensible answer? You are my hero. Just don’t try it on Margo, okay?

    BB – You know, as many problems as I have with 9 Chickweed Lane, it is no longer guilty of the sloppiest shoehorning in of a classical music reference.

    Blondie – Sentence that proves Herb is really a smug ’50s B-movie alien: “It keeps their impressionable little minds distracted.”

    Crankshaft – Hey, speaking of sentences nobody would ever say but are forcibly included to set up a stupid punchline, “may I swipe your credit card?” is a prime example. First off, cashiers, like other ordinary, reasonable human beings, work off the assumption that if you have a credit card, and are attempting to pay with a credit card, you generally know how to WORK a damn credit card. And if you’re offering to pay with a credit card, and the reader is positioned for use by the employee and not the customer, it should be obvious that you need to hand it over, and they will politely and silently wait for you to do so. The only scenario in which this would make any kind of sense is if Crankshaft has just been standing there, stone-faced, long enough for the cashier to conclude that he needs a reminder, which is improbable, as Crankshaft would never intentionally prolong his contact with other members of the human race.

    DT – …nngh.

    FC – There aren’t all that many strips that make me want to casually murder characters just from looking at them.

    FW – Wait, what? Les is giving praise to other people? Is it Opposite Day?

    GT – Whoa! Rex Morgan-Cam!

    JP – Oh goody, one last “transvestite Sam” line for the road.

    Luann – How could you lose, Tiffany? I don’t know, but I’d bet that it has to do with all the time they spent “laying down tracks” in there.

    MT – Lucky looks appropriately depressed upon hearing that. Meanwhile, Cherry can see all the way to the center of the Universe, man.

    Marmaduke – You know what I think? I think the extent of Paul Andersen’s contribution to this strip is to ink his dad’s scribbles and wrack his brain attempting to come up with captions that make them seem like gag-strip panels rather than feverish hallucinations of a decaying mind.

    MW – ADRIAN. STEERING WHEEL. IT IS IMPORTANT.

    MC – …I clicked the My Cage large-comic link out of habit, and I got a 404. I know it hasn’t died the death or anything but still…damn.

    Pluggers – Some Pluggers are idiots.

    Popeye – You know, I don’t normally root for infidelity, but Olive’s such a bitch that I honestly hope Popeye is in there with Tuna Salad “solving the mermaid problem.”

    SFx – Uh, if Rodney Rat is in Princess Pussycat’s bedroom dressed in a peasant costume, I don’t think it was her crown he was stealing, if you get my drift.

    SM – Man, I’m honestly all tapped out for snarky “I’m betting on the monster” lines. That’s how low Spider-Man has brought me.

  103. Dennis Jimenez
    November 1st, 2010 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    MW – I doubt if the Bum Boat can handle a group of more than 12 before 5:00, so there’ll be no early-bird special for the rehearsal dinner – this is going to cost Jeff a fortune! You know, if everybody just arrives at the same time, and we don’t call it in as one reservation, we can avoid that stupid mandatory 12% gratuity they put on the check for large party bookings – 5% ought to be enough for anybody, right Jeff. Get with it Jill – you’re the wedding planner – do I have to think of everything?

  104. bats :[
    November 1st, 2010 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#80): re Luann: oh, what times are these when stalker themes are preferable.

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#87): yes, good to see you, you old dog! Probably howling it up on Halloween :)

  105. bats :[
    November 1st, 2010 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    Good lord, Ballard Street has been checking me out! (Although I usually have the good sense to just change the channel.)

  106. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 1st, 2010 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#102):

    Blondie – Sentence that proves Herb is really a smug ’50s B-movie alien: “It keeps their impressionable little minds distracted.”

    Herb does bear a resemblance to Lee Van Cleef in It Conquered the World. Okay, so Lee played a collaborator rather than an alien proper. Still, close enough for rockabilly.

  107. mojo
    November 1st, 2010 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    I really, really enjoy how just about every question Adrian poses to herself in Mary Worth seems a matter of life and death, as befits a Real Doctor. “I love the first dress I tried on, but Jill hated it! What should I do? AHHHH!” “Marrying below myself? What do you mean by that? AHHHH!” “Why does the Chron expect me to write the word “ToyotaCare” before they’ll let me see my comic? Don’t they realize I’m too stupid and inept for that? AHHHH!”

  108. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 1st, 2010 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    Saturday DT — Why is Mary Worth holding a water pistol like that?

    Waht, somebody already mention that?

  109. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 1st, 2010 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    @Dr. Weird (#53): I’ve noticed this about steampunk… everything is a shade of brown. Anybody else notice that?

  110. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 1st, 2010 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    Just had to let everyone know about this throwback to Bloom County — http://hackaday.com/2010/10/30/building-the-banana-jr-6000/#comments

  111. commodorejohn
    November 1st, 2010 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#110): Hah! There are very few things I’ll readily approve of dicing up a classic computer for, but that’s one of them :)

  112. gnome de blog
    November 1st, 2010 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    @One-eyed Wolfdog (#81):
    And you can sing the poetry of Emily Dickinson to the tune of “Gilligan’s Island.” Because I could not stop for death/He kindly stopped for me/The carriage held but just ourselves/And immortality/…

  113. ComcisFan
    November 1st, 2010 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#101):

    Good catch in FW! I’ll bet the Montoni’s jukebox plays “Revolution Number 9″ backwards!

  114. mollificent
    November 1st, 2010 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    @Ces (#yy363): Eek, I forgot you read CC! Sorry to seem ultra-pedantic…as I said, I’m slightly obsessed with “Impromptu” and therefore couldn’t help commenting. Besides, no harm no foul…she hung out with Liszt too, right? ;)

  115. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 1st, 2010 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#111): Now, if the builder could only modify it so it could sacrifice kitchen appliances to Dan Rather in front of the big-screen TV…

  116. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 1st, 2010 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    @mollificent (#114): probably depended somewhat on the dress she was wearing?

    *ducks*

  117. Mustang
    November 1st, 2010 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    @captainswift (#46): Exactly. He should have been asking “Why aren’t the REST of you children dressed as grim reminders of human disease? And wipe those smiles of your mugs. This is Westview, for God’s sake.”

  118. bats :[
    November 1st, 2010 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#109): I think it’s a response to sepia-toned photographs.
    Then again, I contend that orange was not, in fact, a true color, until discovered by fast-food restaurants in the mid-1950s as a color motif in their dining areas.

    @mojo (#107): maybe Dr. Adrian misunderstood the memo that the “Cathy” comic ENDED, and she’s been trying out for the role. AAAHHHH! might be better than ACK!, but not for long…

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#110): a thing of beauty is a joy forever! It’s got feeties, too! I’m forwarding this to mr. bats :[

  119. dhkendall
    November 1st, 2010 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    Am I the only one freaked out by the talking restaurant in the Mary Worth panels? As always, when Schultz does it, it’s classic, when someone else does it, it’s creepy.

  120. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 1st, 2010 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#112): And to the tune of “Yellow Rose of Texas,” for all the Lone-Star mudgeons out there.

  121. dale
    November 1st, 2010 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    The Mountain Top Lodge is a commercial establishment or a broken-down picnic shelter. There’s no way to tell with Mark Trail phraseology in all upper case.
    Either way, Frank doesn’t want to be seen talking to Mark.

    Just for the record – I’m not going to mention Jimmy Hoffa, but I do want everyone to know I thought of him.

  122. Baka Gaijin
    November 1st, 2010 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    At the risk of causing a thread jump, Monday’s thoughts.

    Pluggers: An apple a day will keep a Plugger’s doctor away. A Plugger’s doctor knows that an apple causes a Plugger’s gigantic innards to produce more toxic gas than a phosgene plant at full tilt.

    Rose is Rose: Two guesses who got burned by a Realtor recently.

    Slylock Fox: Rodney Rat? That’s the best you got? The obvious culprit is Cassandra Cat. She has a superiority complex, she’s pulled heists like this in the past (Egypt exhibit at the museum?) and, crucially, she has a tail! The one who really did it is Mrs. Rachel Rabbit. “Mrs.” yet no one has seen a “Mr.” Rabbit or even a “Mr. Right Now” Rabbit. Sorry for the digression. Mrs. Rabbit’s long con has been to constantly accuse everyone else of petty thefts. With those years of deflecting guilt behnd her, no one will think of her when she pinches the big booty. Or so she thinks. I’m watching you bunny. Watching you like a HAWK!!!

    Apartment 3-G: Iris, if your next dream involves a long tunnel with a bright light and dead relatives beckoning, GO INTO THE LIGHT!

  123. Aviatrix
    November 1st, 2010 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#60): As someone who travels extensively for work, I can confirm that there are some places where the vendor swipes the customer’s card, some places where the customer retains custody of the card throughout the whole transaction, and other places where after the customer demonstrates cluelessness about the whole swiping procedure, the merchant takes the card, swipes it, and gives the terminal back to the customer for the PIN. The cashiers all look at me like I’m Crankshaft when I don’t instantly realize which regime they follow.

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#64): I can’t even picture Adrian confidently and competently cutting out supermarket coupons.

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#92): Dick pocketed the little gun she had and substituted another larger one. Notice it’s a different colour, too? The new one is actually loaded. Sort of like Dick himself.

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#109): I hadn’t really, so I’ll assume you’re setting up a straight line for me to explain it’s because steampunk is all crap.

  124. Sequitur
    November 1st, 2010 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#120): And also to “Amazing Grace.”

  125. Sequitur
    November 1st, 2010 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#124): And you could squeeze it into the chorus of the Eagles “Peaceful Easy Feeling.”

  126. Darryl Heine
    November 1st, 2010 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    You didn’t mention:

    In the Blondie comic strip for October 31 – Elmo disguised himself as Mr. Dithers.

    The final My Cage strip ended with a Snapple REAL FACT cap saying “The End” – That’s how you run the final strip?

  127. Baka Gaijin
    November 1st, 2010 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#123): “I can’t even picture Adrian confidently and competently cutting out supermarket coupons.” Ah ha ha ha ha HA! Adrian has to get new shoes everytime the little “L” and “R” rub off the heel insole of her shoes.

  128. Krazy Kat
    November 1st, 2010 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    “Seriously though, kid, why are you dressed in surgical scrubs? Is this normal behavior? Do kids just put on some strange get-up and go door to door asking for handouts once a year? Wait, hold that thought, I need to give some free candy to this pirate, witch, skeleton, football player, psycho killer, and Klan member. Okay, now back to you, scrubie. Account for yourself.”

  129. Ed Dravecky
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    @Jack Parsons (#70): My first thought was, well, unprintable. My second thought was that the girl is Little Lulu, the character that replaced Henry in the Saturday Evening Post back in 1935…. but she’s got dark hair. There’s a blonde character like Lulu whose name escapes me that she strongly resembles. What the heck is happening with the toothpaste, I fear to speculate.

  130. Amateur
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    MT: This family worries me. One of these days it’s going to be “I’m glad my stepdaddy’s boot didn’t leave a mark when he kicked me in the ribs!” “Me too, sweetie!”

  131. commodorejohn
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    @Jack Parsons (#70): If this is metaphorical, I really don’t want to think about it.

  132. Dood
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    “People can say what they want. It doesn’t matter.” Way to keep your awning up, nondescript Santa Royale talking restaurant!

  133. spike
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    MW: Cripes, Adrian! Who cares what Jill thinks? Are you marrying Scott or are you marrying Jill?

  134. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @Jack Parsons (#70): Henry is squeezing the last little bit out of a toothpaste tube so the little girl can brush her teeth. He had to use a flatiron to get the paste out.

  135. bats :[
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#134): dang, why didn’t I think of that? Handing out squeezes of toothpaste on Halloween instead of candy? :D

  136. spike
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    Phantom: Just because the Warden’s parnoid doesn’t mean that The Python’s not out to get her. And look! Not only is the Lieutenant Walker’s size, but he’s already sporting those spiffy sunglasses that Kit Walker favors! Foreshadowing: the hallmark of a quality comic.

    @bats :[ (#135): It’s never too early to start planning for next year. :-)

  137. Poteet
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    MT — Lucky was really hoping that Mark would point out that taking a wild fawn out of the woods and into one’s kitchen for no fucking good reason, even a giant mutant fawn, is not only a really bad idea, but is ILLEGAL, and that keeping said fawn as a pet is even more illegal. But nooooo, Mark is such a numbskull that pointing out these basic facts slipped what passes for his mind.

    Now Lucky his using his powers of psychic cervid concentration to try to ensure that Mark will get shot himself. We’re with you, Lucky! Focus! Focus!

  138. Sequitur
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#135): Well, hey, yeah. And you could have saved all that candy for yourself.

  139. Sequitur
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#137): I think Lucky would actually like a transfer to “Over the Hedge.”

  140. Poteet
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    @spike (#133): A marriage between Jill and Adrian? Now THERE’S an idea. I see a really dysfunctional but interesting marriage involving costumed B & D, with Adrian as the most boring bottom in the universe. I’d suggest a wedding here in Iowa except that but I don’t want my state to be responsible for hitching these two.

  141. Poteet
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#140): To clarify, I think Jill could ensure that Adrian had a very interesting costume. But I don’t think any power on earth could make Adrian interesting herself.

  142. Baka Gaijin
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#140): That’s so ewww. Adrian having sex? Ewww.

  143. Poteet
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#140): Preview is our friend. Sheesh.

  144. Sequitur
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#142): Kind of like clowns having sex, isn’t it.

  145. Poteet
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#142): @Sequitur (#144): Ordinarily I’d emphatically agree with you. But in Adrian’s case, all I can summon up is a zzzzzzz. I think even Jill might need to use sex toys just to stay awake.

  146. ComcisFan
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    Non Sequitur: Applause.

  147. Sequitur
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#145): Jill’s sex toy is a razor.

  148. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#129): You might be thinking of Little Audrey, who was a redhead. Like Little Lulu and the girl from today’s Henry she wore skirts so short/high up that her panties showed. I don’t know about the forties, but now that style is only considered acceptable for toddlers and Chicken Ranch employees.

  149. Walker of Dog
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#140): The only reason Adrian hasn’t proposed to Jill is that Jill hasn’t told her to.

  150. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#134): “He had to use a flatiron to get the paste out.”
    Damn. The metaphor just gets more and more alarming.

  151. CanuckDownSouth
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    Phantom is waaay past “ridiculously” convenient. Fortunately, I never suspended my disbelief* in the first place.

    * This is presumably Kit making up stuff for the chronicles when he couldn’t cope with reality after Diana busted out all on her own, found Kay and Hawa, and they went off together to destroy the Python’s organization. With the kids.

  152. KarMann
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#135): And you wouldn’t have had to buy any toilet paper for the next few months, either!

  153. whozitwhatzit
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#144): I recently learned that clown porn is a thing (found out from a co-worker, NOT from personal research). So there are discerning people out there who would infinitely prefer watching Krusty the Clown have sex over Adrian having.. well, just lying there noiselessly is what I can imagine for her.

  154. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#135): the *real* question is just why Henry’s lady friend wants to brush her teeth in his back yard, and why Henry is so happy to help her out. . . .

  155. spike
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#142): She is a doctor, isn’t she? Probably has a textbook, took a course, or something like that…

    @Poteet (#140): Adrian would have to come up several rungs on the ladder to achieve “boring” status.

    @Walker of Dog (#149): And if Jill told Adrian to put on a fuzzy rabbit costume and leap off the tallest building in Santa Royale, would…oh, never mind.

  156. Sequitur
    November 1st, 2010 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#154): I guess Henry got hold of a real old tube of KY jelly. Ladies know how to make those work.

  157. gnome de blog
    November 1st, 2010 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#140):
    The logical conclusion, based on my theory that Tommie Thompson is Mary Worth’s secret abandoned daughter and that Professor Ian Chinbeard is the real Papagoras (possibly in the witness protection program), it follows that, instead of marrying Jill Adrian should trade places with Tommie. Tommie could achieve her destiny as Mary’s perpetual meddlee. Adrian’s friendship with Jill is adequate training for life with Margo.

  158. Baka Gaijin
    November 1st, 2010 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    @spike (#155): On Adrian having sex. It’s not that she knows how, it’s that I don’t want to imagine the O-face. AAAH! I did! I saw the O-face in my mind! Anyone have a red hot poker to jab into my mind’s eye?

  159. commodorejohn
    November 1st, 2010 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#148): Yeah, what was up with that? It’s odd in cartoons, but it’s even weirder when you look at some of the animated shorts from that period; it’s not just a stylistic thing, they have skirts flying up at every opportunity. It’s damn near Japan-caliber.

  160. Aviatrix
    November 1st, 2010 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#148): I don’t remember wearing them, but I saw hand-me-downs that included skirts that were paired with matching panties, so presumably it was an earlier generation’s version of acceptably visible underwear. Or my aunts were sick, sick people to impose such garments on my cousins.

  161. spike
    November 1st, 2010 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#158): Gads! Sorry. Will a cup of brain bleach do?

  162. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 1st, 2010 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    @whozitwhatzit (#153):

    just lying there noiselessly is what I can imagine for her.

    I don’t know about the “noiselessly” part; I mean, wouldn’t there be a lot of fretting and dithering? “I don’t know if I should do that! I mean, I liked it the first time I tried it, but then Jill said I looked silly! Wait right there, Scott, while I call Mary and ask her what I should do.”

  163. The Grandstander
    November 1st, 2010 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    S4th: Looks like a week of Sally and Ted dithering over having Sally’s mother and sister over for Thanksgiving dinner. And this year we have to worry about Ralph coming over. BTW, I’m thinking that Ralph will reconcile with his wife and Sally’s sister, whose name I can’t remember, will commit suicide. Sally will blame herself. Ted will say to hell with it and go start rutting with Aria.

  164. wossname
    November 1st, 2010 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#148): How about Little Iodine? I don’t remember much about her but I think she was a blonde.

  165. True Fable
    November 1st, 2010 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    Why are you dressed in surgical scrubs?

    Because I’m trick-or-treating as a fucking doctor, stupid.

  166. Aviatrix
    November 1st, 2010 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#165): And the kids think I’m dumb because I don’t know which Power Ranger, Disney Princess, or Mutant Turtle they are.

  167. Uncle Lumpy
    November 1st, 2010 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#164):

    Iodine was a redhead — her comic was a spinoff from Hatlo’s They’ll Do It Every Time, which Al Scaduto inherited but didn’t do much with. Little Lulu was The Saturday Evening Post‘s replacement for Henry when King took him over. Little Audrey rocked the panties-below-the-skirt look — she started out in cartoons as a royalty-free substitute for Lulu, then migrated to comics.

    All this is from Don Markstein’s Toonopedia, which is indispensible.

  168. Baka Gaijin
    November 1st, 2010 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @The Grandstander (#163): It would be funnier if Ted went on a rant about “Christmas Creep” while tossing handfuls of chestnut Stove Top at all assembled.

  169. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 1st, 2010 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#164): I had forgotten all about Little Iodine, probably because her comics weren’t around when I was a kid. From the top image on her Wikipedia page, she seems to have been a light redhead, so she’s in the running too.

  170. Calico
    November 1st, 2010 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#165):
    Or, “I’m here because I want to harvest your body parts for cash…who needs this stupid candy, anyhow?”

  171. Calico
    November 1st, 2010 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    @The Grandstander (#163):
    I think Sal’s sister’s name is Jackie.

  172. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 1st, 2010 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    @The Grandstander (#163): So your theory is that Raymond Carver is still alive and writing Sally Forth under an assumed name?

  173. Alfred E. Neuman
    November 1st, 2010 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#129) et al.: The girl in Henry is Henry’s girlfriend (and how!), Henrietta.

  174. Sequitur
    November 1st, 2010 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#171): Or as Ralph calls her, Jac-kieeeeeee!

  175. Poteet
    November 1st, 2010 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#147): THAT woke me up:-).

  176. Poteet
    November 1st, 2010 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#148): A couple of my less-reputable neighbors (well, neighbors in the rural sense) spent a few months as Chicken Ranch employees (I think they may have gotten fired), which is a major reason why I’ve never eaten there. Anyway, thanks for the laugh.

  177. Poteet
    November 1st, 2010 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

  178. Poteet
    November 1st, 2010 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#157): Ah, but is Margo ready for Adrian? I’m getting an image of Margo’s bun flying apart because of fury waves, followed by serious throttling.

  179. Alfred E. Neuman
    November 1st, 2010 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    @spike (#133), @Poteet (#140) Re: MW
    I’m beginning to think that Jill does want Adrian for herself, or himself, as the case may be.

  180. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 1st, 2010 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#169):

    There was nothing “light” about Little Iodine’s hair color. I used to read her strip in the Tampa Tribune back in the 1950s/1960s, and Iodine was what you call a “orange” redhead. Not as red as Brenda Starr’s hair, but certainly red enough that you wouldn’t mistake her for a strawberry blonde. Interestingly enough, my father was color blind, so I had to point out to him that Iodine was a redhead!

  181. ArchieNemesis
    November 1st, 2010 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#96): Thanks for pointing out that deer are an excellent tick vector. I’d like to see Mark Trail do the same sometime. Maybe a full Sunday panel explaining that cuddling wild animals is a bad idea for humans.

  182. Sequitur
    November 1st, 2010 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#176): Poteet, he may have been talking about this Chicken Ranch.

  183. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 1st, 2010 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#167):

    Yeah, but none of the other characters were ever featured in a LIVE ACTION film. Called simply “Little Iodine”, it was released in 1946 and starred Jo Ann Marlowe as Iodine. Worth checking out if for no other reason than Iodine’s mother was played by Granny in “The Beverly Hillbillies” — IRENE RYAN!

  184. ElkMeadow
    November 1st, 2010 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#97):

    Especially when hiring the hall is one of the first things to do after picking a date for a wedding.

  185. gnome de blog
    November 1st, 2010 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#120), @Sequitur (#124), @Sequitur (#125):

    Further evidence of Miss Dickinson’s greatness as a poet.

  186. Baka Gaijin
    November 1st, 2010 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#184): Have they picked out a date yet? Are we sure? This is “Queenie” we’re talking about.

  187. ElkMeadow
    November 1st, 2010 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#123):

    I agree that there are places still where the vendor swipes the card. My post office unit has a Crankshaft double who works behind the counter is one. Don’t ask me what he does when you take the card out of the wallet. Please don’t.

  188. gnome de blog
    November 1st, 2010 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#178): It would probably be a couple of years before Margo even noticed she was around, by which time Adrian would be reduced from a dithering nincompoop to a drooling imbecile by her very presence.

  189. ElkMeadow
    November 1st, 2010 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#139):

    Why wouldn’t Lucky fit into OTH? We have a lot of Lucky’s living around here, including Lucky’s dad, who crashed through a car dealership window a few years ago, apparently thinking that his rival was on the other side.

  190. gnome de blog
    November 1st, 2010 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    Can anyone imagine Adrian in one of those “trust me, I’m a doctor!” commercials for Dr. Pepper?

  191. gnome de blog
    November 1st, 2010 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#189): We have Lucky’s relatives living in my neighborhood too, which is inside the limits of a city of over 500,000.

    I liked Lucky better when he was a beaver.

  192. Walker of Dog
    November 1st, 2010 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#179): The bride wore a scowl of angry triumph and a lovely sleeveless gown, looking neither silly nor old-fashioned as the assembled guests trembled at her ominous approach down the aisle.

    The other bride wore a chain and a ball gag.

  193. ElkMeadow
    November 1st, 2010 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#186):

    It looks from here like Adrian’s engagement is one of those type where the guy gives the girl the ring, says that they’re engaged, and once he moves half of his stuff in (leaving the other half somewhere convenient “just in case”), and claimed his side of the bed, has no intention of wedding date, etc.

  194. ElkMeadow
    November 1st, 2010 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#192):

    You are referring to Liz and Anthony, aren’t you?

  195. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 1st, 2010 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#183):

    Fans of child actress Jo Ann Marlowe (both of you!) probably already know that she played Rosie Palooka in “Joe Palooka, Champ” the same year she starred as Little Iodine. Two comic strip characters in one year — what are the odds?

  196. Walker of Dog
    November 1st, 2010 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#194): Except that on that occasion the scowl of angry triumph was worn by the mother of the bride.

  197. Joshua
    November 1st, 2010 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    @Plinko Commie (#86): The name of Dagwood’s fellow carpooler who watches “SpongeBob SquarePants” is Dwitzell, nicknamed Dwitz.

    Unfortunately, I’m starting to doubt this, because when I Googled for proof of this, the only thing I could find were my own previous comments here at The Comics Curmudgeon identifying him.

  198. Cloudbuster
    November 1st, 2010 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    MT: I’m totally not getting why Stepdaddy owes Mark Trail an apology. He owes almost everyone else an apology: his stepdaughter, his wife, the senator, the foreman he fired, even the damn deer … but the guy who trespassed on his property, publicly humilated him, then PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE for kicking a fawn … he owes that guy an apology because … why?

  199. Sequitur
    November 1st, 2010 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#189): Maybe HAMMY THE SQUIRREL! will show up and tell us if they’d accept Lucky. I would think the only one who may have an objection would be Verne.

  200. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 1st, 2010 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#159):

    Have you seen the first of three 1936 animated cartoons based on Fontaine Fox’s “Toonerville Trolley” comic strip? Poor Katrinka’s skirt keeps being pulled up over her head!

  201. Sequitur
    November 1st, 2010 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#200): The ultimate upskirt in cartoons/comics would be Daisy Duck. No skirt at all.

  202. Alison
    November 1st, 2010 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    Jill looks twenty years younger in the second panel! I guess just being around Mary Worth really takes a lot out of her. Meh, who can blame her?

  203. Aviatrix
    November 1st, 2010 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#187): Okay, I won’t ask, but you force me to infer some horror. He perhaps hums ominous music? Grins evilly? Licks the card?

  204. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 1st, 2010 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#201):

    That’s probably why Tom Wilson never created a character called “Ziggette”… most human minds would snap at the sight of a pantless/skirtless FEMALE gnome of Ziggy proportions!

  205. whozitwhatzit
    November 1st, 2010 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#162): Ooh yes, that’s a much better depiction of Adrian in flagrante delicto, thank you.

    @Walker of Dog (#192): Perfection.

  206. bats :[
    November 1st, 2010 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#195): I guess Hollywood really didn’t have any imagination in the ’40s. Comic strips as the basis of films — how silly! That’s like having movies made that follow the exploits of Superman and Batman and Iron Man and the Watchmen and the Predator and Spiderman and Wolverine (with or without the X-Men) and…and…

  207. Uncle Lumpy
    November 1st, 2010 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#189):

    … Lucky’s dad, who crashed through a car dealership window a few years ago, apparently thinking that his rival was on the other side.

    When actually that was John Deere.

  208. nescio
    November 1st, 2010 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    Two kids staring at Marmaduke’s anus and mistaking it for an actual balloon knot is so amusing I’ll overlook the fact that he’s floating around for no explained reason.

  209. This Guy
    November 1st, 2010 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#60): At my occasional retail job, I usually swipe customers’ credit cards myself, since I already have to examine them and check the name against their provided photo ID. For debit cards, I don’t have to check ID (the PIN being deemed sufficient), so I just let the customers do those.

  210. wossname
    November 1st, 2010 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#198): These are the questions that Mark should be asking himself right now.

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#173): Yes, Henrietta! It suddenly occurred to me about an hour ago.

  211. Jason1981
    November 1st, 2010 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#166):

    Meh, who cares which Disney Princess is which.

    And there’ve been so many teams of Power Rangers that anyone would get confused ( Jason David Frank probably got confused himself. “Wait, am I the Red Zeo Ranger today, or are we doing the Turbo season? Or am I still the Green Ranger?…Or did I become a Pink Ranger?”)

    TMNT are easy, though…they shoulda egged your house for not knowing that! Just listen to the 80s cartoon theme, it tells you all ya need to know ;-)

  212. Thomas B.
    November 1st, 2010 at 8:19 pm [Reply]

    Josh, the next time you ask “who is really on top?” can you arrange the comics so that Mary Worth isnt first? That question plus her name, plus a meal resulted in a ruined laptop.

  213. Sequitur
    November 1st, 2010 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#204): Well, there is Love is…

    Yup. Makes the mind snap.

  214. bats :[
    November 1st, 2010 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

    @ugg boots (#214): mmmm, uggy spamness.

  215. Poteet
    November 1st, 2010 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#182): How embarrassing (and enlightening). Thanks! I’m sure you are correct.

    I’m also sure that name gives boners to many men in the know. But to me, it seems like an unappealing name for a brothel.

  216. Uncle Lumpy
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

  217. bats :[
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#216): I like the name “Shady Lady,” a brothel north of Las Vegas. There are honest-to-gosh trees around it, too!

  218. Darryl Heine
    November 1st, 2010 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    Too bad the final My Cage didn’t go to the future to see the birth of Norm and Bridget’s first child, maybe if it is revived as a webcomic…

  219. Vince M
    November 1st, 2010 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

    Bit late to the party on classic horror movies, but I have to put in a nod to one of my favorites, “Night of the Demon” – not least ’cause Dana Andrews would’ve made a good movie Mark Trail.
    I’m still catching up with posts here, just coming back from a week long trek to Kansas.
    …What?

  220. Anonymous
    November 1st, 2010 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

    When I first read this Sunday’s Mary Worth I couldn’t help but notice the sultry glances going on between Adrian and Mary in the last panel, so I decided to render what I believe the ACTUAL last panel was supposed to be. It’s Saucy.

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