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Divine Wednesday quickies

Mary Worth, 1/5/11

Look at panel two in isolation and you’d think that Mary views father-son bonding as a spectator sport. “Here we go!” she thinks, as she pops something tan and oblong into her mouth. “They’re gonna hella bond! This is going to be great!” But check her out in panel one, looking blissed out as she shoves something or other up between her gum and her upper lip. I’m assuming it’s something hallucinogenic. “Here we go!” she’s saying in panel two. “Oh, the colors!”

Gil Thorp, 1/5/11

Much as I’ve been trying to avoid bringing it up, I feel have to acknowledge that the Gil Thorp basketball season plot seems to have set its two new characters — a Jesus-happy basketball player and an almost-certainly-gay teen as imagined by someone who’s heard of gay people but never actually met one — on a collision course. This certainly won’t be awkward, at all!

Gasoline Alley, 1/5/11

Speaking of piety, Gasoline Alley has continued its attempt to ditch its goody-goody image by dabbling in blasphemy. Today it suggests that the Holy Bible is best used as a weight-loss aid.

Spider-Man, 1/5/11

Spider-Man has lost interest in the middle of his own comic strip and let his mind wander. And who can blame him, really? I only wish he weren’t wearing his spider-mask in panel two, because it would be great to see his slack jaw and the little bit of drool emerging from the side of his mouth.

Luann, 1/5/11

Dear Luann,

Never use “finger” as a verb ever again.

Sincerely,
The Comics Curmudgeon

264 responses to “Divine Wednesday quickies”

  1. Chyron HR
    January 5th, 2011 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    “Those dull, half-lidded eyes… That hair, slick with LA Looks strength 17 styling gel… That generic, doughy cartoon character body…”

  2. Scott Bot
    January 5th, 2011 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Today’s guest star on Gil Thorp – Jimmy Olsen!!!

  3. Neal R
    January 5th, 2011 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    Mary, Mary, Mary, you are NOT a Bears line-backer, so cut it out!

  4. Neal R
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    No Bernice, you were not talking out loud, you were imagining that ‘Hummer’ you want to give.

  5. Big Daddy
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    I think she was thinking about what she’s going to do later…

  6. Mike K
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    Look at panel two in isolation and I’d think that Mary is thrilled to see father-son bonding progress from obsessive shoulder-holding to the fulfillment of non-specific incestuous fantasies concocted via electronic communication.

  7. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    PMP: WIN!!!! I lol’d, literally.

    OBH: good point, kid.

    Lio: d’awwwwwww.

    R&R: snowmen and comics takes continue! funny, but not as awesome as yesterday’s.

    RwO: wow. just wow. Pastisian levels of punny.

    SB: *blinks* oookay.

    CdS: everything’s better with puppies! (and I should know!)

    9CL and Pibgorn both feature some evidence that Brooke is aware of his audience. In Pibgorns case, it appears to be a one-finger salute.

    Zits: ok, now they’re just playing with us. oh, and the obligatory AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

  8. BERTMARCH
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: He’s actually an unbearably wacky prop comic. “Howya doin’ folks!” ::activates spinning bowtie::

    Luann: (vomits)

    JP: “Don’t worry Sam, I’m immune to filthy slatterns with their deceitful ways.”

  9. Shawn S.
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    Luann: I didn’t know “bedroom eyes” consisted of two soulless black dots. Needless to say Bernice, you can use your vibrator AFTER Luann leaves.

    Spider-Man: William Dafoe is such a beautiful bride. I’m glad he put that Green Goblin nonsense behind him and is finally settling down.

  10. nescio
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    Apparently once Marvin stops eating he can still produce five pounds of crap.

  11. commodorejohn
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    A3G – “Won’t you come into my parlor?” says Margo.

    BrS – I keep checking Brenda Starr by reflex…oh well, at least I saved the nice huge color versions of the 2010 strips before they’re taken down…

    BB – “Well, Martha can just fuck right off. It’s bad enough dealing with one Halftrack.”

    Crock – I assume the verbage in panel three is meant to indicate the nameless soldier reporting this to someone in the fort, but the lack of any other indication plus the fact that he’s just staring off into space makes it look more like Rechin just lost the part of his speech center that contains articles.

    Curtis – “But after months on a planet with no women to be found, Trinklet was startin’ to look reaaal good, if you get my drift.”

    FC – Jeez, it’s like she paid a visit to Judge Parker.

    FW – Ha ha, fuck no. He’s just stringing her along for attention while he makes out with his ghost-wife. What, are you blind or something?

    GT – “Like my jauntily-displayed handkerchief? I got it from Blaze in Apartment 3-G!”

    JP – Sam eyes his mentor warily. “I hope you are,” he thinks. “I know we bond on many levels, but I’ve always wondered if I’m not alone in the firmness of my resolve to never, ever let a woman get close to me. Don’t disappoint me, friend.”

    Love Is… – just a matter of time before the populace of Colorado Springs catches on and four corpses are buried on the mountainside.

    Luann – Even putting aside the running fan-interpretation of Bernice as a character, note that she actually expresses opinions and desires about things? You know, that make her actually kind of interesting? Why the hell isn’t she the main character?

    MT – Oh, dear God.

    MW – “It’s not easy bearing the white man’s burden, son, but I have some ideas!”

    OBH – Win.

    Phantom – Isn’t that Rorschach’s apartment? You’d think he’d have creatively mutilated the guy by now.

    R&R – Funny, Red, that’s not what Google Image Search calls it…

    SM – Spider-Man could spend the rest of its run consisting of Spidey staring blankly into space and people getting amusingly annoyed with him, as far as I’m concerned. At least it wouldn’t be making any pretense of action.

    WoI – Well whaddya know! It is a zombie strip!

  12. Buck Ripsnort
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    9CL: FINALLY!!

  13. Thomas B.
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    MW
    I think it’s the MW artists that are on the hallucinogenic. Why else would they draw a cannabis plant right in front of a picture of a cannabis plant?

    Meanwhile the bride and groom continue the long standing tradition of dancing in every room of the banquet hall.

    I’m surprised to see Mary conducting a peyote ritual and so soon after admonishing Jill for her substance abuse.
    —-
    The way Mary jumps from meddle to meddle with all the subtlety of the opening scene of “Quantum Leap.”
    GT
    I always wondered what would happen if Kirk Cameron was infused with the genetic material of Kareem-Abdul Jabbar. Now I know.

  14. Maggie the Cat
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    I love the lifelike liver spots on Gramps’ head. Gross.

  15. yellojkt
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    Notice that we can’t see Bernice’s hands. Not that I would want to.

  16. That Library Nut
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth’s line in panel two is also one of the late Heath Ledger’s lines in the Dark Knight. After he says this, stuff explodes, and Batman is forced to make a sadistic choice to choose between Harvey Dent and his girlfriend. Presumeably, this universe’s version of the Joker, Ms. Worth, will force Drew to choose between Vera and Dawn.

    Since this is Mary Worth, though, she’ll probably only force them to choose who gets to go back to Vietnam.

  17. LUJBEM FEJF
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    Spidey- This really is a family affair. Who knew that Aunt May’s twin brother was a preacher?

  18. Scott Bot
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    GT – Would someone a little more familiar with this strip tell me what is up with the dark line down the side of the one character’s face? He looks like my kid after he got ahold of the magic markers.

    SM – Didn’t Mark Wahlberg do this bit in Boogie Nights? I now expect to see firecrackers and the Mole dancing in his underwear to Jessie’s Girl…

  19. Lurker Bob
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    Apparently the hallucinogenic properties of the cookie affect the reader as well. Why else would her dress be changing from red in the first panel to black in the second panel. I am waiting for her face to melt tomorrow.

  20. Patrick
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    What a fun wedding! Mary is eating beige circles in an adjacent room to the reception, while the happy newlyweds dance in front of a whiteboard.

  21. Terry in Maryland
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    Phantom: So what is Old Man Mose about to do? Tell the kids that they’ve been living with the President because everyone thought their mother was dead, but didn’t feel the need to tell them…but everything is ok now?

  22. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    9 – A gift for cutting repartee? Uh oh, he really is gay, in Brooke’s world.

  23. ComcisFan
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    MW: Mary is so delighted to see father and son reunited that she whips out her portable eucharist wafer.

  24. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    Curtis – How long does the food in those fine restaurants stay good enough for (presumably) Andrew to cook and eat? For that matter, how long does the supply of gasoline — whatever is easy enough for him to harvest without working electricity in the gas pumps — stay viable? Or did the wish somehow include a viable and unending support system for things that normally require thousands of humans to keep the supplies and logistics flowing? (Some Mouse!)

    (And hello to wossname for a similar observation.)

  25. Jesse
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    hahhaha I am snorting with laughter at the mary worth “between her gums and her upper lip” line

  26. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    Dick“Just you, me and the elements, tracy? NOT A FAIR FIGHT.”
    Good lord! Does this mean that the elements themselves are going to die a gruesome death, possibly involving an industrial cutter or municipal incinerator?

  27. TheDiva
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    9CL: I like Roger.

    C’shaft: Cranky fills his locker with uneaten food, inviting vermin and other health problems into the workplace. His co-workers remain unsurprised at the depth of his callous disregard for their well-being.

    Luann: I always thought “fingering” was something that happened below the waist, so is Bernice talking about…oh no, brain bleach, brain bleach!!!

    MT: “I’MNOTANUNDERCOVERAGENT!”

    MW: Kettle chips…the perfect snack for meddling! (By the way, is nobody bothered by the fact that Adrian’s skirt is shrinking?)

    And hey, what happened to Jill? Is she waiting to mow down the bride and groom as they leave the reception?

    SM: POP QUIZ: In panel three, the minister just got a wiff of:
    A) The silent-but-deadly Spider-Man just let rip in panel 2
    B) May’s old lady funk
    C) The half-liter of Hai Karate Mole Man doused himself with just before the ceremony
    D) The unmistakable smell of ten thousand unwashed mutants
    E) The early reviews for Spider Man: Turn Off the Dark

  28. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    Fred – Fred cuts one and runs. Nice cloud of stink there.

    Gil – (Josh, That’s Forrest Lawford Swisher III, aka “Swish,” from the National Lampoon High School Yearbook Parody.)

  29. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    Mark – Okay, now it’s obvious to even the three-year-olds having the strip read to them (poor little wretches) that the ships are stashing diamonds in the buoy and Ben Smith is sneaking them out. Here’s where Ellery Queen turns to the audience and says, “You have all the clues! Now, you be the detective! How long will it be before Mark Trail stops futtering around and ventures a tentative conclusion on this subject? Two weeks? Four weeks? Eight weeks?”

  30. teenchy
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#2): I thought the guest star was Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

    Re Luann: I thought Bernice once had a relationship with a much older young man in a wheelchair. It’s conceviable she may be the only person besides Fank and Nancy who’s actually had sex.

  31. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    Marfield – In his case that’s a good thing, because at the rate the little monster shits, he’ll be gone completely in seven or eight days. (Let him keep sucking his thumb. The saliva helps keep the system going.)

    Phantom – Chatu’s agent in Boomsby Prison keeps his client out of the spotlight in exchange for ten percent of the cigarettes.

  32. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    R=R – Aw, looks like Pasquale’s got him one a them Pedobear hats!

    Id – Aw, how could I not like this? Considering my own perennial holiday special and all.

  33. teenchy
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    Oops, should’ve read post 13. Mea culpa.

    That said, I do think the GT artists are at least making an effort.

  34. Shawn S.
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    @That Library Nut (#16):

    Well actually, he said it when he expected the boats to blow up and they didn’t. So really Mary is hoping they fight so she can meddle, and if they don’t she will rush in there and meddle anyway.

  35. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#18):

    (Re: Gil Thorp) It’s braided hair. Rod likes to stay on the cutting edge (pun very much intended) of hair fashion!

  36. Scott Bot
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    @teenchy (#30): Yep, I caught that one, I was talking about Bow Tie Boy…

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#35): Ah, I get it, thanks. I thought it was just a very poorly done definition line for the guy’s face…

  37. Jonn
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    Josh, I’m surprised at you. Liking Glee doesn’t mean you’re gay.

    …Right?

  38. Sequitur
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#28): After your explanation, that’s the funniest Fred Basset ever!

    Maybe the only funny Fred Basset ever.

  39. Esther Blodgett
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    GF: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP with the Muppets already! I’m the biggest Get Fuzzy (and Muppet) fan there is, but geez! Even Funky Winkerbean takes a break from cancer to give its characters traumatic head injuries and such once in a while.

  40. Sequitur
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    I’m a bad boy.

  41. Mustang
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    Luann – I fingered some hair out of my kid’s shower drain downstairs. Romantic? Not really. Disgusting and annoying? Absolutely. A lot like Luann — so it works. By the way Bernice, girls named Bernice don’t get to finger boys with cool names like Quill, so get back to your library book or online video game or whatever it is you people do.

  42. Old School Allie Cat
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    Luann – As soon as I read today’s offering, I just knew that my fellow mudges would have their “finger” on the pulse of Bernice’s musings.

  43. That Library Nut
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    @Shawn S. (#34): Honestly, I’m just hoping something blows up/dies at this point. I was a little excited a few days ago when Jill appeared to be driving into the party, hoping to kill everyone there, but sadly, it didn’t happen.

    Perhaps Mary is popping a poison pill in panel one? The two Dr. Corys might just be too much for her.

  44. Doctor Handsome
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    Mary can barely even conceal her derisive laughter behind her hors d’oeuvres as she watches this so-called “parental involvement” unfold. “He’s your son, and he asked for your input,” she thinks. “This is barely even meddling at all! Fucking amateur.”

  45. Josh
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    @Jonn (#37): It does in STEREOTYPE WORLD, where everyone in Gil Thorp lives!

    Josh

  46. ComcisFan
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    @Mustang (#41): “By the way Bernice, girls named Bernice don’t get to finger boys with cool names like Quill, so get back to your library book or online video game or whatever it is you people do.”

    Thanks for the laugh!

  47. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    for True Fable. Not the best pic, but still amusing.

    aerial view of the USS Otter.

    walkies?

    Flowers for bb,u.

  48. rembrandt36
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    As I said earlier in yesterday’s posts: Best damn 9 Chickweed Lane EVER.

  49. ScienceGiant
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth, eating a spice wafer of melange? Holy Herbert!

  50. ComcisFan
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    Perhaps “that hair you want to finger” can become an off-the-shelf running joke, to be inserted spontaneously in any comic strip episode otherwise lacking a little zing.

    It might have worked in the last word bubble of today’s Beetle Bailey. And Dennis would have proven a real menace had he answerwed the teacher’s question this way. On the other hand, it would have been sublime replacing “a suggestion box” in today’s Blondie.

  51. Red Greenback
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    “Dear Luann,

    Never use ‘finger’ as a verb ever again.”

    …use “poik” instead.

  52. Keaaukane
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    GT: It’s not Jimmy Olson or Swish. It’s a young George Will. God knows what he brings to the GT table.

  53. Mibbitmaker
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    ~ 1/5 NOT-MST3K “Curtis” KWANZAA 1/5 ~

    Panel 1
    MIKE: “And he chose that?”

    Panel 2
    CROW: “Provided he cooked it.”

    MIKE: “He didn’t really think this through, did he?”

    Panel 3
    CROW: “It was a great grandbedroom.”

    Panel 4
    SERVO: “…which turned into years, which turned into decades,
    which turned into the 9CL World War II storyline…”

    CROW: “Everyone was on Mars, snickering!”

    Panel 5
    MIKE: “The insanity didn’t take long to set in.”
    SERVO: “Hey, the Kwanzaa story‘s supposed to be crazy, not HIM!”

  54. UncleJeff
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    MW:
    Dr. Corey jr.: “We’re still having problems at the clinic.”
    Dr. Corey sr.: “Aw, to hell with the clinic, son. Do you have those pictures of the new talent over at the Lon Dik Bar you told me about in your e-mails?”

  55. Zork The Mighty
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    Jimmy Olsen, ace cub reporter for the Daily Planet, will let nothing stop him from watching the latest episode of Glee.

  56. Mr. Goboto
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    @ScienceGiant (#49): “What’s in the box Mary?” “Pain, Jeff, pain.”

  57. BrutusJ
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    Is Gil Thorpe so obsessed with Jesus and Glee that no one cares about the blood running down their friend’s head from what must be a brutal head wounds?

  58. Mibbitmaker
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    9CL: WOO! (loud applause!)

    A3G: All of a sudden, Trey’s voice briefly changes into that of Emily Litella addressing Jane Curtin: “Bitch!”

    Archie: Laughing like in DT. Awful, yes, but truly better than laughter actually in DT!

    Doones: Drinking tea through a straw? Iced tea, maybe?

    HotC: Get in line, Heart!

  59. Seven87
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    Every A-lister knows that you simply must wear a three-piece suit with black cuff-links and a polka-dot bow tie and pocket square everywhere, especially to your abandoned classroom.

  60. boojum
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    GT: Like every high-school girl I’ve ever known who towers over her male classmates, today’s heroine chooses to accentuate her 6’4″ height with high-waisted toreador pants and a BeDazzled bolero jacket from the 1986 Alexis Carrington Collection. Meanwhile, Swish accessorizes a dress shirt with French cuffs and high-standing collar with a suit vest, bow tie and matching pocket square. In his vest pocket.

    I would be fascinated to hear what Fashion Police has to say about the cutting-edge style of high-school students in Milford, but I fear for the sanity of anyone who willingly enters Gil Thorp World.

  61. Mibbitmaker
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    H&L: Oh, push the button, Frank!

    MT: Wow, it’s a regular WikiLeaks over there!

    S-M: Jeez, can’t that guy do anything?!

  62. Braniff
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    Zits: Am I the only one who think that Jeremy’s mom probably is a street walker (fille du joie, call girl, woman of the night, madam–you get the idea) on the side? (Which might explain why she is angry so often).

  63. boojum
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    @Seven87 (#59): Oops! Great minds. Great, terribly confused minds…..

  64. Chuck Howell
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#40): Thanks for doing this – I was about to explode from the erotic tension that’s been building since I first saw the “strip” this AM…

  65. Zork The Mighty
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    @Zork The Mighty (#55): No, I take it back. If anything, he resembles the Eleventh Doctor.

  66. Red Greenback
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    @BrutusJ (#57): It’s cool, the barky stick was rough enough that he didn’t even have to hit that hard.

  67. commodorejohn
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    @boojum (#60): It’s probably less to do with her height than it has to do with this being Gil Thorp, a world where blatant “HEY FOR THE RECORD I AM A GIRL” visual signals are pretty much necessary due to the artist’s vagaries.

  68. AhClem
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    SM Spider-Man is distracted as he blissfully reminisces about last night’s “Desperate Housewives” episode.

  69. Mr. Goboto
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    @Keaaukane (#52):

    It’s a young George Will. God knows what he brings to the GT table.

    A love of bow ties, sticktoitiveness, and any in-season sport he can mutilate into an unapt metaphor for contemporary U.S. politics?

    If it were Tucker Carlson on the other hand, his love of macho manly machismo manliness would translate into an unconditional love of all things Kaz and provide a nice counterweight to Marty Moon’s constant negative-nellie naysaying.

  70. Jim North
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Did . . . did Brooke just call himself out? That’s just awesome.

    Blondie: Did . . . did Blondie get a new writer around a few weeks ago? Because ever since they played out the tired “husbands carrying tons of boxes at the mall” thing, I’ve actually been finding a lot of the strips at least halfway amusing. Is there something wrong with me? Am I dreaming? Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

    DT: Don’t worry, Doc Mo. I’m sure a volcano and a rampaging elephant will eventually show up to help you and the elements fight Dick. It’ll still be difficult as hell, but the four of you might just manage to take him down once and for all!

    JP: Now, I have to admit that I don’t own a laptop. In today’s hurly-burly world of technology “haves“, I know that this is a pretty damning proclamation on my part. But I bring it up just to give context for my asking . . . do people really sit like that while using their laptops? That just seems uncomfortable.

    Luann: Hmm, looks like some moral guardian editor got into Evans’ script, took the ellipsis from between “hair” and “you”, then put it between “finger” and “that”.

    Marvin: It’s quite obvious he didn’t lose the five pounds from that gargantuan melon that’s sitting precariously atop his noodle-thin neck.

    MW: “OM NOM NOM NOM oh yah here we go OM NOM NOM NOM this gonna be good OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM oh gawd why can’t i stop eating OM NOM”

    RMMD: And so the big con begins . . .

    S-M: I’m pretty much convinced now that Spidey’s got a sports channel or something running on the insides of his mask lenses.

    WoI: My, what a verbose evil snowman. Whatever happened to the good ol’ fashioned bellow of “BRAAAAAAAAAINS!!!”?

    Zits: . . . so many conflicting emotions . . .

  71. AhClem
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    MW – Things must be rough for Dr. Corey Jr. in Vietnam, as he is forced to wear a tie he made himself from expanded metal grating.

  72. Mibbitmaker
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    MW: “Ooh, those wacky men in my life, on and on about helping those who most need help! Poor dears, they can’t help it!

    – Well, off to meddle someone I go…..”

  73. Pozzo
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    At least Bernice’s mouth is closed as she says “Mmmmmm”

  74. commodorejohn
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    @Jim North (#70): I sit in a lot of weird positions with mine, but I’m a bit of a strange person, so it might just be me. With a laptop that size, though, it is a good idea to balance it on the bony parts of the leg, as the Judge seems to be doing, to avoid cutting off blood flow – those big-ass widescreen laptops are heavy. (Well, at least by comparison with my nice little 10″ netbook – both are practically feather-light compared to the laptops of yore.)

  75. boojum
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#67): True dat. God forbid they ever introduce a male character with a ponytail. Kaz’s pearl earrings are bad enough.

  76. Krazy Kat
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    Things gay people like to do, listed in order of priority:
    1. Dress like a dandy,
    2. Watch Glee (new episodes only!),
    3. Attend high school sporting events.

    Yeah, that sounds about right.

  77. boojum
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp — On the subject of whom Kareem is addressing in the first panel: I’m pretty sure that’s the sensitive assassin from Boardwalk Empire, half of whose face has been blown off and replaced with a rigid mask. I can hardly wait for this story to unravel in a nightmare cataclysm of conflicted homophobic/evangelical/sports-related/teenage-hormone-fueled violence, possibly set to the Broadway-musical song stylings of Glee.

  78. Ned Ryerson
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    For those of you not following Gil Thorp regularly, that foppish beau brummell’s name is Lini Verde.

  79. mumbles
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    A3G: I’m getting a strong “Miss Havisham” vibe off Margo….

    GT: Here’s hoping these storylines end in a Glee-style “mashup” – the basketball team stages a spirited performance of “Jesus Christ Superstar”, with special guest Marty Moon channeling all his contempt for Gil in a spirited outing in the role of Judas.

    MT: Diamonds? I didn’t say diamonds. That was my cough. (“Cough-diamonds, cough-diamonds”.)

  80. Little Guy
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Did Greg Evans give a FARK shoutout for UFIA?

  81. boojum
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    @Krazy Kat (#76): Don’t forget: the first time we met Swish, he and the girls were watching re-runs of Project Runway.

    There is no shorthand shorter.

  82. Thomas B.
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    GT
    As you can see, Milford has had so many incredible athletes and retired so many numbers that the basketball team now uses a combination of alpha numeric symbols to identify the players. “And at the small forward, number Z4, Billy Morris.”

  83. Mr. Goboto
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    DT: So, I hadn’t read any daily comics for about two weeks, up till yesterday. Color me surprised that Dick and Mordred are still in the car, in the rain, about 10 feet further down the road than last I saw them. I have to give Locher & Brozman props for capturing the excruciating boredom and awkward unease of being stuck in traffic. The last thing I read so completely committed to capturing the rufrác of sitting around doing nothing but watch nothing happen were the 131 chapters of Moby Dick between setting sail and finding Dick.

  84. Dood
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    Looks like Mary picked the wrong wedding to give up Nilla wafers.

  85. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    a Jesus-happy basketball player and an almost-certainly-gay teen as imagined by someone who’s heard of gay people but never actually met one

    This is why you’re the pope, Josh.

    Tip for readers: Read today’s Dick Tracy but imagine it with the dialogue from Family Circus and vice versa. You’ll be glad you did.

    S-M: Is it me, or is Aunt May making bedroom eyes at the minister now. It’s like she’s saying, “Elton here falls asleep early, Preacher Man. Why don’t you stop off by the bridal suite and give me seconds?”

    DtM: Just then the teacher throws down the book and says, “I don’t need this crap! I’m Princess Grawfixing Diana!”

    WofI: I… actually laughed at this today. What is up with the universe?

    MT: Mark’s inability to not speak every stray thought leads him into a lie so transparent it doesn’t cast a shadow. His guide rightfully responds with “Yeah, right!” If I didn’t know better, I’d think Jack Elrod was engaging in deliberate self-parody.

    JP: “Hey, back off, Judge. Indifference to women is my thing.”

    BB: I look forward to Miss Buxley beating Mrs Halftrack into a coma with her own coffee pot.

    OBH: Granted. But what are your chances of seeing an alcoholic bite off a chicken’s head at the mall? 50-50, if your lucky.

    C-Shaft: Crankshaft hoards what he hates. That’s him all over.

    9CL: Of course it justifies his arrogance. Look at the byline over your head.

    SSmith: A shotgun wedding? And we don’t get to see the hillbilly baby bump? Rip. Off.

    Marvin: Given Marvin’s diaper output, I’m guessing he’d lose five pounds if he stopped eating for three hours.

  86. The Modesto Kid
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    So is Jill going to Viet-nam? Will Sylvester Stallone be there?

  87. Pseudo3D
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    In addition to Summer’s androgyny continuing to bother me, there’s always something about Aunt May’s face that makes her look like an older man wearing a wig.

  88. Pseudo3D
    January 5th, 2011 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (yy#188): Bad thing? I just think that based on the current NSFW furry comics on the Internet, the syndicate might’ve have rejected it. Maybe.

  89. Bill Peschel
    January 5th, 2011 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    @boojum (#81): Oh, dear, and we just finished watching Project Runway season 5 last night. On DVD.

    Don’t tell my wife.

  90. commodorejohn
    January 5th, 2011 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#88): I dunno, if they were going based on the look of the thing, the look My Cage ended up with is a bit closer to Better Days than those sketchy designs…

  91. This Guy
    January 5th, 2011 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    DT: Tonight, the role of Dr. Mordred will be played by Crackotage from Cheat Commandos.

  92. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 5th, 2011 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    @Old School Allie Cat (#42): Actually, Bernice, girls like Luann are allowed to finger boys like Quill “down under.” They just don’t get to marry them.

    (“Down under.” Two words that add so much when you put them after random sentences!)

    @Keaaukane (#52): Forgive my skepticism, but I can’t bring myself to entertain the idea that there was ever a young George Will.

  93. Old School Allie Cat
    January 5th, 2011 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    FW – I have decided that Special K is by far my favorite character in this morass of do-nothing mouthbreathers.

    Sure, she’s getting into her Momma’s business, but somebody needs to take some action.

    Les has been a widow for a decade – he needs to quit living in the shadow of his dead wife and live a little – and if he’s not into Cayla, he needs to quit dicking her over and be honest with her. And he needs to stay the hell away from Susan because that cannot be healthy for either party in any way.

    It’s called “forward progress”, Batuik. You can use your “writing” to attain it.

  94. wossname
    January 5th, 2011 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#26): Do you think all the elements are going to be brutally slaughtered? Cause a few of them, like oxygen and carbon, come in pretty handy.

    @TheDiva (#27): You know, I wondered about Adrian’s skirt too, but just decided she had changed between the wedding and her arrival at “Catering.” But maybe her wedding gown had a skirt that breaks away in tiers. By Saturday she’ll be in a tutu.

  95. Esther Blodgett
    January 5th, 2011 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    S-M: They’d better get on with this wedding. Not only has the minister lost 20 pounds since he showed up, but now his face is melting, too. He needs to get out of there before his hair loses its fabulous body and bounce.

  96. Mustang
    January 5th, 2011 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    @ComcisFan (#46): You’re welcome. I work at a high school, so I’m fluent in cheerleader.

  97. DaveG
    January 5th, 2011 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    If I missed it, apologeis, but didn’t anyone else think “Bud Light Commercial” when Mary Worth said, “Here we go.”?

  98. AndyL
    January 5th, 2011 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    I think that you would fit in at high school better if you wore Dagwood’s getup than if you wore the costume on display here.

  99. Mr. Goboto
    January 5th, 2011 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    re: MW: My mind filled it in as “Here we go, Meddlers, here we go!” Guess what town I’m from.

  100. AndyL
    January 5th, 2011 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    Why is Mark’s guide so suspicious of Mark’s claim that he was “just talking to himself”. Mark has been monologuing non-stop ever since he arrived.

    Seriously, it’s like someone told the Mark Trail creative team that thought-balloons were going out of style, but they didn’t feel the need to actually change their writing to accommodate a more modern style, so they just fake it by having Mark constantly bellowing any little thought that happens to cross his mind.

  101. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    January 5th, 2011 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    C’mon, Josh. You contemplate Aunt May and the Mole Man consummating their marriage and tell me your brain doesn’t seize up.

  102. Tom Allen
    January 5th, 2011 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    “Oh the colors!” indeed. I assume we’re seeing the reception through Mary’s hallucinogen-induced viewpoint: walls painted an orange only slightly darker than the drop ceiling, pink boutonnières, a dress that changes from scarlet in the first panel to black in the second. And what a lovely painting of … part of a bush?

  103. Mr. Goboto
    January 5th, 2011 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    @Naked Bunny with a Whip (#101): My mind doesn’t quite sieze up, but I keep coming to the same question: Which will give out first, Mole Man’s heart or Aunt May’s hips?

  104. boojum
    January 5th, 2011 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @Bill Peschel (#89): No slight (or inference) intended, I assure you. We’re speaking of shorthand in Gil Thorp World, where manly sports and the men (and manly, manly women) who play them manfully shape the entire group consciousness.

    I profess a weakness myself for Project Runway. Since all reality TV is an exhibition of raw human psychosis, what better context to showcase it than the world of fashion, where everyone is this close to the edge at all times? It’s a lot like NASCAR: everyone in the stands is just hoping for the next huge pile-up.

  105. Hairhead
    January 5th, 2011 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    Luann – Ah, Bernice, a character in Luann who actually has — character! She’s — normal! She gets — horny! And admits it! Wow, how about that! And how about we make up a poll and everybody votes for Bernice to take over the strip. We send Greg Evans the results, and maybe, just maybe, he retitles the strip “Bangin’ Bernice” and shows us what late-teenage life is really like.

    And then, ONLY THEN will Brad get laid.

    (But probably by TJ. The only reason Brad’s crotch hasn’t exploded from 6 years of blueballs is that he has been mistakenly going after the gender he isn’t sexually interested in. Man, Nancy is living in that guy’s head. But, I digress.)

  106. Mr. Goboto
    January 5th, 2011 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    @Tom Allen (#102):

    …And what a lovely painting of … part of a bush?

    That there’s a Lu Ann Powers née Wright original, Shrub Study No. 97 if I’m not mistaken. Nothing but the blandest for Charterstone’s Burnt Umber Sunset Suite!

  107. bartcow
    January 5th, 2011 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    Forget the Jesus Freak and the Fabulously Totally Not Obvious Gay Guy. I’m much more interested in the Harlequin Guy Fawkes As A Westworld Robot character.

    Seriously. He’s creeping me out.

  108. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 5th, 2011 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Mark Trail and yesterday’s Scary Gary both mention diamonds (the latter strip even has Marilyn Monroe singing “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend”). Are cartoonists Jack Elrod and Mark Buford preparing for the world’s first-ever Mark Trail/Scary Gary crossover?

  109. mel aka Mel
    January 5th, 2011 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#51): Where’s Don Martin when you need him? POiK! … FWAPADA DAPADA … FWAPADA DAPADA … FURSGGLURK … GASHPLUTZGA … GLOIP!

  110. Harold
    January 5th, 2011 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    If this run of Gil Thorp is being guest-written by Jack Chick, I suspect it will end with the flamboyantly gay character burning in hellfire eternal, begging for forgiveness BUT IT’S TOO LATE NOW. It will also end with every other character also burning in hellfire eternal, including the praying player whose name I can’t be bothered to look up, on the off chance that he’s Catholic or Jewish or Muslim or one of those other heathens who prays to non-Jack Chick-approved gods.

  111. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 5th, 2011 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @mel aka Mel (#109): my feet bend in appreciation of that ref.

  112. Baka Gaijin
    January 5th, 2011 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#Y85): “Psst, Poteet. Them bazooms [Loweezy's] aren’t really all that baggy. That’s where they’re hiding the Spam™. Oh, yeah. And the basketballs.” This made me laugh uncontrollably. Loweezy with the shoplifting-friendly titties.

  113. TheDiva
    January 5th, 2011 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    @Jonn (#37): Liking Glee doesn’t mean you’re gay; it just means you’re terrible. [*]

    @Pseudo3D (#87): Indeed, the only measurable difference between Aunt May and the officiant at her wedding are the latter’s half-moon glasses and God collar.

  114. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 5th, 2011 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#94): This is the Dick Tracy universe we’re talking about, where the only elements that really count are surprise and doubt, and I’m pretty sure the element of surprise was tortured to death some time ago.

  115. Mr. Goboto
    January 5th, 2011 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    @mel aka Mel (#109): Too bad Don Martin’s dead. One of my favorite of his cartoons was the “Toll Ahead” gag—made me laugh for a good 1/2 hour when I was 9. I’d love for him to have taken over Dick Tracy. SPLUT! Maybe Duck Edwing could take the job when Locher-Brozman retire and rename it Tales from the Dickside. He’s got the sick sense of humor to pull off the grotesque levels of violence with aplomb, and his art would look hyper-real compared to Brozman’s.

  116. steve
    January 5th, 2011 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    “Funny you should say diamonds, Mark – Mr. Smith catches fish full of diamonds all the time. I guess if you wanna catch the world’s worst smuggler, send the world’s worst detective.”

  117. Ethan Shuster
    January 5th, 2011 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    That kid’s not gay. He’s obviously just a blackjack dealer.

  118. Bill Thompson
    January 5th, 2011 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    Pigborn: Reapers? Does this mean that McEek watches the CW?

  119. Ethan Shuster
    January 5th, 2011 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    It’s obvious that the Spider-Man writer — it says “Stan Lee” but somehow I doubt it — hates Spider-man. It’s like the only job he was able to get was ghost writing a comic strip nobody reads and resents it. You can almost hear the secret message beneath every scene: “Fuck you, Spider-Man!”

  120. Snuggs
    January 5th, 2011 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    Eeeugh, that reverend’s eyes follow me all around the room! Spider-Man, help! Oh, wait, you’re staring at me too…what a creepy strip.

  121. Calico
    January 5th, 2011 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    I just read Luann as saying “Quill is an ass kisser.”
    And it’s only Wednesday…

  122. MaryAnnTheRest
    January 5th, 2011 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    Wait, I thought Jill and Drew were going to end up together? Instead, Drew and Jeff are headed back to Vietnam? Who does Jill end up with then? And if Mary’s all alone … WAIT WAIT Stop thinking and look at how pretty Adrian’s dress got since yesterday.

  123. Ethan Shuster
    January 5th, 2011 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    I just wanted to point out that we don’t really know what’s going on below the panel in Luann. Hands above the covers, Bernice.

  124. Ethan Shuster
    January 5th, 2011 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    I can just imagine the options on Adrian’s wedding invitations: Chicken, Fish, or Nilla Wafers.

  125. Baka Gaijin
    January 5th, 2011 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    @ComcisFan (#23): “MW: Mary is so delighted to see father and son reunited that she whips out her portable eucharist wafer.” When you got to “she whips out” my train of thought went chugging down a completely different set of tracks.

    @Sequitur (#40): That is exactly what I was thinking when I read this strip comic.

    @Keaaukane (#52): Damn, that’s what I was going to post. Damn this work that keeps me from important stuff like commenting on comics.

    @Mr. Goboto (#69): “A love of bow ties, sticktoitiveness, and any in-season sport he can mutilate into an unapt metaphor for contemporary U.S. politics?” This is definitely not what I was going to post but could only dream of posting. Good one, Goboto!

    @Jim North (#70): “Zits: . . . so many conflicting emotions . . .” Disgust, revulsion, nausea, and hysterical blindness aren’t conflicting emotions.

    @Esther Blodgett (#95): “He needs to get out of there before his hair loses its fabulous body and bounce.” They don’t have “Luster Cream Shampoo” in the underworld?

  126. Calico
    January 5th, 2011 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    Panel 2 of SM is hilarious – totally blanked out – good smoke, eh, Peter?

  127. Mr. Goboto
    January 5th, 2011 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    @Ethan Shuster (#124): I like how you phrased that. It implies that the chicken and fish are also in wafer form.

  128. Not "Worth" It
    January 5th, 2011 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    Is the minister Aunt May’s long-lost identical twin brother, or does Moleman just prefer a certain look to the humans who provide him comfort, whether of a religious or sexual nature?

  129. Mr. Goboto
    January 5th, 2011 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#126): Woah, you just explained everything we know about Peter Parker from his bouts of paranoid anxiety to his love of naps and bad TV, as well forgetting that he’s wearing his costume or forgetting that he’s not wearing his costume. Now I really really want someone to do a “Peter and Thing Go to Whitecastle” movie, with Matt Murdock in the Neal Patrick Harris role.

  130. benro
    January 5th, 2011 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    FW – Don’t know if this has been shared with the CC crowd, but it’s must reading for you Batiuk fans.

  131. Thomas B.
    January 5th, 2011 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    Hey new kid, raiding Mr. Kessler’s wardrobe is not the best way to get girls to notice you.

  132. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 5th, 2011 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    @Keaaukane (#52): Maybe he can be Marty Moon’s color commentary when baseball season starts.

  133. Bitter Scribe
    January 5th, 2011 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    Zits: At first, this “Jeremy’s mom flashes him” was about 50% funny, 50% creepy. By now it’s 1% funny, 99% creepy.

  134. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    January 5th, 2011 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    Crock: No, no, Rechins, that wasn’t supposed to be dialogue, those are your notes for what to draw in panel 3.

    Curtis: It’s been months, and his idea of “company” is mirrors? If I were him, I would have spent the last few months finding out where the “Real Girl” factory is, then driving there.

    DtM: I read this as “Which letter comes “All of ‘em!” after A?” Interrupting your teacher isn’t much of a menace, but we’ll take what we can get.

    OBH: “Grandpa, why are they going into that tent?” “Well, Ruthie, back in those days people weren’t as open about homosexuality as they are today. Now just keep watching ‘Bowery Butt Boys’ and be quiet.”

  135. bats :[
    January 5th, 2011 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    Y130. Little Guy: you know, I saw today’s Zits and just got squicked out. Then I faced my fear

    And just speculating on the ultimate future of FC if things had been a little different

  136. Walker of Dog
    January 5th, 2011 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#11): Drew is very much the center of the universe. He travels in a specially designed airplane, to avoid disrupting the Earth’s orbit. Dr. Jeff is making the best of a bad situation, now that he is on the wrong side of Drew’s event horizon.

    @TheDiva (#27): I would like to see some small, off-panel indication of Jill revving her engine in anticipation of the slaughter. Vroom. VROOM.

  137. Crankenstank
    January 5th, 2011 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    I’m surprised, given the fact Walt Wallet sold his soul (or possibly Skeezix’) to the devil for immortality — he is a hundred and thirty seven, at present — that the Bible did not instantly start smoking sulfur in the hands of he-who-is-damned-and-committed-to-the-evil-one-for-eternity. So I’m guessing it’s a joke Bible, probably filled with dirty limericks and excerpts from the Anarchist’s cookbook.

  138. Esther Blodgett
    January 5th, 2011 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#125): No, there’s no “Luster Cream” in the underworld, but maybe the Good Reverend could borrow Mole Man’s bottle of “Gee, Your Hair Smells Mutated.”

  139. Baka Gaijin
    January 5th, 2011 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    @The Spectacular Spider-Brick (#134): ‘Bowery Butt Boys.’ Band name!

    @bats :[ (#135): You reign supreme in the mashups. I bow to your greatness.

  140. Red Greenback
    January 5th, 2011 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    Panel 2 Spider-Man:
    Peter’s just deep in thought wondering if “Glee” is gonna be a rerun. (not that there’s anything wrong with that)

  141. Frank Lee Meidere
    January 5th, 2011 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    9CL Go Rog!

    DT I’ve been following this, which isn’t hard considering its glacial pace, but where exactly are they? Did they drive into the deepest pot hole ever? Did Dick accidentally steer into a lake? And with a criminal so dangerous they’ve put 40 pounds of chains on him, why didn’t they send along at least one other guy with a gun for backup? And when we get to see the murderer’s face, will it turn out to be Spiderman’s Aunt May, turned to a life of crime from her marriage to a disfigured freak who lives underground with 10,000 cloned zombies?

    Please let it me Aunt May.

  142. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 5th, 2011 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    The Argyle Sweater — Too bunny for words!

    Wizard of Id — Frosty the Abominable Snowman!

    Bizarro — Hey, it’s Jeff’s mother Rose from Crankshaft!

  143. Anonymous
    January 5th, 2011 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    @Keaaukane (#52): It’s a young George Will. God knows what he brings to the GT table.

    I, for one, think the idea of a gay high school teen modeling himself after one of America’s most prominent conservatives pretty hilarious. And that’s a lot to be brought to the Gil Thorp table.

    I’m glad you brought this up Josh, because I was super afraid that I was reading way too much into it (“They can’t seriously be making the has the girls over to watch Project Runway and Glee the gay kid — and, oh no, is one of the new recruits a super Christian… this can’t be where this is headed.” And yet. And yet.)

  144. Irischano
    January 5th, 2011 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    Fun Fact: When Gasoline Alley debuted, the Bible had just added Leviticus.

  145. Krazy Kat
    January 5th, 2011 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    @boojum (#81): Maybe he just wants to attend the Mudlarks home opener (seriously, a gay teens dream!) because he’s planning on doing the “Single Ladies” dance at half time.

    As long as Glee is a rerun, that is.

  146. Baka Gaijin
    January 5th, 2011 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    Dick Tracy: With everyone talking about Dick Tracy, I thought I’d take a look. Hmmm. Dick’s a graduate of the “Toonces School of Driving.” Right?

    More information about Toonces can be found on the internet.

  147. Baka Gaijin
    January 5th, 2011 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Mary looks more baked than those crispy crispy cookies. Seriously.

  148. odinthor
    January 5th, 2011 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    MW. — I’m finding it hard to stop contemplating Drew’s right arm in panel one, which appears to be doubling back on his own right shoulder. Clothed in black, it’s obviously not Dr. Jeff’s right arm, said M.D. being clothed in a gray suit with a slight brown tone. Indeed, the position of the upper part of Dr. Jeff’s right arm and the way he is steering Drew away from Mary suggests that, with paternal care, he has noticed (as has Mary!) that Drew’s fly is open and is zipping him up. The attentive, amused look on the faces of the wedding guests in panel two in turn suggests that his attempt was unsuccessful. Under this context, Mary’s comment in panel two implies that she thinks that an inverse bukkake is about to begin.

  149. Neal R
    January 5th, 2011 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    @DaveG (#97): Apology accepted.

  150. Fashion Police
    January 5th, 2011 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    @boojum (#60):
    As near as we can determine, our basketball-playing young lady seems to have outfitted herself with just the sort of overstudied indifference (spandex tuxedo trousers? really?) that is the bane of modern “fashion.” We have a niece who, in her pre-teen years insisted on wearing mismatched socks. Our young lady here seems of much the same mind.

    Young Lini’s commitment to gentlemanly attire stands like a beacon in a sea of slouching teenage indolence, and we applaud him for his effort. However, vest the with no jacket, the hanky in the vest pocket – so preciously matching the tie – definitely cross the line between stylishness and outright foppery.

  151. Fashion Police
    January 5th, 2011 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#94):
    Mrs. Hewlett’s wardrobe has displayed cameleon properties in the past. It comes as no surprise that her wedding dress is equipped with a magic hemline. It could possibly explain why she chose that one over Miss Black’s strenous (and well-reasoned) disapproval.

  152. Fashion Police
    January 5th, 2011 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    And finally, while we are not convinced that ruffled necklines flatter Miss Magee, we applaud her for not giving in to sloppiness. Dressing well is its own reward. We are not so enamored of Mr. Brooks’ choice of neckwear, which bespeaks of a foppishness that even young Lini might envy.

  153. un malpaso
    January 5th, 2011 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    Re: Luann AND Gil Thorp: This is what happens when that guild of ancient artisans, the newspaper comic artists, attempts to grapple with topics outside their monkish cloisters (i.e. popular media, teen sexuality, the 21st century) that they really shouldn’t concern themselves with.
    The results will be ickiness, uncomfortable silences… and a bumper crop of snark for the comin’ season! YA-HOOOO!!!!

  154. Red Greenback
    January 5th, 2011 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    Know what? Quill spits an awesome winkle, too.

    Hey, Gil Thorp artist. It’s called “correction fluid”. Look into it.

  155. bats :[
    January 5th, 2011 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

  156. Poteet
    January 5th, 2011 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#Y105): Thank you. I’m gonna use it.

  157. Poteet
    January 5th, 2011 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

  158. terrapin
    January 5th, 2011 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    Luann: No Bernice. You were making me throw up a little.

    MT: Oh Mark, if you get any dumber we could use you for a channel marker.

    MW: Come on Jill! There is still time for you to ruin this wedding! Please, please, pleasepleaseplease! And by ‘ruin’ I mean ‘make it awesome’!

  159. Poteet
    January 5th, 2011 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#112): And it would be even better if we could watch her on a shoplifting expedition.

  160. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 5th, 2011 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#108):

    My, my ,my… either the cat (Cassandra, is that you?) has stolen everyone’s tongue or the very thought of a Mark Trail/Scary Gary crossover has rendered my fellow ‘mudges mute with terror. Trust me, Mark Buford was BORN to draw Rusty the Mutant Boy!

  161. commodorejohn
    January 5th, 2011 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#159): Oh God, no. Least sexy “breast pocket” scene EVER.

  162. Scott Bot
    January 5th, 2011 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#150): And here I thought she was just trying out for the Go-Gos.

  163. terrapin
    January 5th, 2011 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#161):” ‘scuse me while I whip this out.”

  164. Baka Gaijin
    January 5th, 2011 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#159): Speaking as a man, not so fascinating seeing Weezy stuffing general merchandise into her cleavage. Maybe once to see the mechanics but that’s it. On second thought, that could be hot.

  165. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    January 5th, 2011 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

  166. Fashion Police
    January 5th, 2011 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#162):
    And perhaps she is. She’s certainly too limp for Lady and the GaGas.

  167. Joe Blevins
    January 5th, 2011 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

  168. Joshua
    January 5th, 2011 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#24): Why would someone bother to go to a fine restaurant to eat if one were the only person on earth? One of the main reasons to go to a fine restaurant is so that other people, who are hopefully better cooks than you are, will cook your food, and a waiter will bring it to you.

    Given that Andrew has to do his own cooking, being the only person alive, he might as well just take his food out of a supermarket and cook it in the kitchen of whatever home he happens to move into.

  169. Walker of Dog
    January 5th, 2011 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

    DT panel 1: How exasperating. What else could go wrong for Dick and Mordred’s engagement photo shoot?

    FC: Thel: “I’m sorry, your stomach is mistaken. It’s not time for a snack.”
    Jeffy: “You’re just pissed that you had your stomach removed after you weighed in at 100 pounds. Jealous much?”

  170. Marion Delgado
    January 5th, 2011 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

    Bernice, if “accidentally” affirming your not-to-be-questioned heterosexuality – again – is talking out loud, then yes, you were. I don’t think Luann wants to watch Xena and Gabrielle tonight though.

  171. Riff Chick
    January 5th, 2011 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp basketball season plot seems to have set its two new characters — a Jesus-happy basketball player and an almost-certainly-gay teen as imagined by someone who’s heard of gay people but never actually met one — on a collision course. This certainly won’t be awkward, at all!

    ACCENT on the “but never actually met one.” But it’s obvious the reason why he’s doing it is for the cheap drama [that might have been considered fresh and relevant in 1998].

  172. Riff Chick
    January 5th, 2011 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp basketball season plot seems to have set its two new characters — a Jesus-happy basketball player and an almost-certainly-gay teen as imagined by someone who’s heard of gay people but never actually met one — on a collision course. This certainly won’t be awkward, at all!

    ACCENT on the “but never actually met one.” But it’s obvious the reason why he’s doing it is for the cheap drama [that might have been considered fresh and relevant in 1998].

    Can’t wait to see how he draws lesbians. Bet he has to get out the Timberland’s catalog for that.

  173. Riff Chick
    January 5th, 2011 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    And as for Luann, jeez.. didn’t this used to be a cute cartoon about a high school girl?? Its like Funky Winkerbean but instead of serious situations and devastating melodrama, it’s serious situations and pervy wrongness.

  174. Dark Corner
    January 5th, 2011 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#24): Not to mention all the nuclear meltdowns in abandoned powerplants, warheads exploding in their silos, etc., turning the world into a radioactive desert. (You know your house or planet or whatever has a bad infestation if removing the pests actually causes more damage than leaving them)!

  175. commodorejohn
    January 5th, 2011 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    @Riff Chick (#172): Mmm…

    (You might be thinking that’s the “mmm, lesbians” thing you’ll find all over the internet, but it’s actually “mmm, girls in flannel.” What can I say? I grew up in the Minnesota Northwoods.)

  176. Servo
    January 5th, 2011 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    MW-I see the dress being like a “mood dress”. It changes colors as she begins the mind manipulation.

  177. littlestevie
    January 5th, 2011 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#54): Was some of that talent named Mee Suc Dong?

  178. Uncle Lumpy
    January 5th, 2011 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#175):

    … “mmm, girls in flannel.”

    And a quick check of teh internets reveals this to be an actual thing! Thank you, sweet internets!

  179. Uncle Lumpy
    January 5th, 2011 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

    … or an actual thong, God help us all.

  180. Riff Chick
    January 5th, 2011 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

    it’s true, we sometimes wear flannel, but i haven’t owned a flannel shirt since i last borrowed my dad’s one winter when i stayed at his house…

    also, if no one’s pointed it out yet, “Luann” has “Finger that body” as it’s final line in Bernice’s word bubble. Just wanted to make sure everyone knows that.

    “Hey, Boy!”

  181. mr 12 oz can
    January 5th, 2011 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    gil thorp- no way lini verde is gay . he will just turn out to be the son of that guy who wore the ? mark jacket on tv commercials years ago telling you how to get goverment money for free . you just had to buy his book for some obscene price.
    mark trail – slip slip of the lip or diamonds mark your one bad actor.
    mary worth- ive only been reading mary worth for less then 2 years so i know nothing about drew . im just waiting for wedding to be over so they can all get back in orange jackets.

  182. zerowolf
    January 5th, 2011 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

    A3G: That’s right Margo, he’s an utterly clueless male in need of your extra special guidance, if you now what I mean.

  183. Minimoose
    January 5th, 2011 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

    @Irischano (#144): *snort* COTW!

  184. zerowolf
    January 5th, 2011 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

    Zits: Please tell me in the last panel that is Jeremy’s knee.

  185. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 5th, 2011 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

    @Dark Corner (#174): You know it wasn’t a natural disaster, because then it would be Andrew, Trinklet, a billion cockroaches, and Mary Worth.

  186. Alison
    January 5th, 2011 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    Poor Bernice. At least LuAnn got a makeover a few years ago and lost that weird hair ‘do with the bumps on either side of her head. Bernice has has the same frizzy hair, receding hairline, and glasses since the 1980s.

    I love Mary Worth’s blissful NOM NOM NOM face in panel 1. That must be some super-duper salmon square.

  187. zerowolf
    January 5th, 2011 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    @Irischano (#144): Brilliant! If that isn’t COTW, it better make the float.

  188. Fashion Police
    January 5th, 2011 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    @Servo (#176):
    Mood clothing is not uncommon in Charterstone. Mrs. Hewlett was an early practitioner, and apparently has recently passed on the technique to Mrs. Worth (if one recalls, the teal suit Mrs. Worth wore to the rehearsal dinner turned yellow for the Meddling of Miss Black).

    As we suggested earlier, Mrs. Hewlett has moved on to variable hemlines. We are constrained to disclose a distinct fondness for swirly skirts, so we are most pleased with what Mrs. Hewlett has conjured up.

  189. Jason1981
    January 5th, 2011 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

    Luann: And two seconds later, Bernice realizes/says: “Hey, who the f*ck are YOU to judge, Luann? I bet you already said the same stuff about Quill into that stupid tape recorder diary thing of yours. “

  190. Jamus The Bartender
    January 5th, 2011 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Um, I think I can field this one, Uncle Roy or whatever your name is….Yes. It completely does. This is Nine Chickweed Lane. Everyone’s into the arts so they’re like gods or something. Have you not met your niece Edda? Yeah, she’s got a sweet little hinder, but you really gotta shut her up fast, because that only gets you so far, you know? Also, your sister, with the tiger print panties ( mmm)? Yeah, she likes to bully the tenured staff professors while wearing them. I think she REALLY likes it, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. Anyway, good work calling Seth on his shit. Believe it or not, he’s actually the nicest of the lot, although you couldn’t tell these last two weeks. Hey, ask Edda to tell you about the unicorn she saw in her dream once. That story will keep you on pins and needles for two weeks.

  191. Jamus The Bartender
    January 5th, 2011 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    Archie : I actually wanted to hear Ol’ Tic-Tac-Toe’s ideas for improving the school. You KNOW one of his ideas is gonna involve compulsory “Girls In Swimsuits” day, for…I dunno, relaxation or something. Also, there’s “free cheesburger and milkshake day”, you know Jughead gave him that idea. Also, free presents for Veronica or some shit…OH ! Best of all. “Betty Gets Locked In A Closet With Archie For Fifteen Minutes Just Because….And No Questions Asked” day.

  192. Jamus The Bartender
    January 5th, 2011 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

    Dick Tracy: Oh, Mister Bad Man….you’ve just made the worst mistake of your miserable life. Dick has FORGOTTEN more about “accidental deaths while transporting prisoners” than any of us will ever know.

  193. Jamus The Bartender
    January 5th, 2011 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

    Doonesbury: This might be a crass question to ask at a time like this, but….isn’t Benjy the guy who sold mail-order condoms back in the eighties? It is, isn’t it?

  194. Jamus The Bartender
    January 5th, 2011 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    reFOOB: Wow. John and Elly in Barbados. THAT’ll be awkward, especially when Elly meets the local guy who has “Wendy” tattooed on his penis. And it’s not “Wendy” either. I’m told it says, “Welcome To Barbados, My Name Is William St. John, Have A Nice Day.”

  195. Jamus The Bartender
    January 5th, 2011 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley: “…also maybe you’ll quit downloading all that porno onto the family computer, Slim. Maybe.”

  196. Jamus The Bartender
    January 5th, 2011 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    H and J” Yeah. I really could have gone without knowing that for a long time, Herb’s Mom.

  197. Pseudo3D
    January 5th, 2011 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#113): Oh, the officiant and Aunt May are different people. I really didn’t notice.

  198. Jamus The Bartender
    January 5th, 2011 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Bernice talking about fingering Quill just raised the strip about five cool points.

  199. Jamus The Bartender
    January 5th, 2011 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

    Spider Man: Nice work, Webhead. Sadly, there’s no TV reception in Subterrenea. You’ll have to miss the debut of the Oprah Network ™.

  200. spike
    January 5th, 2011 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#193): I don’t remember the mail-order angle, but he certainly went door-to-door at the student dorms selling condoms. His moniker at the time was “Condominium Man”, as far as I can recall.

  201. Jamus The Bartender
    January 5th, 2011 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox: Oh, this is bad. Slick Smitty’s headshot made it into today’s Slylock, as did Peppermint Patty’s, Michelle Kwan’s, and the back of Uncle Billy from It’s A Wonderful Life’s head. But Cassandra Cat’s did not. This is really bad.

  202. Jamus The Bartender
    January 5th, 2011 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

    @spike (#200): I think you’re right, Spike. I think the company logo was “Wrap That Rascal”.

  203. Jamus The Bartender
    January 5th, 2011 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

    FC: Thel, you gonna lose a finger unless you make with the snacks for Ol’ Bacon-Head there… with a quickness.

  204. Jamus The Bartender
    January 5th, 2011 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

    DtM: Wow. Hot for teacher….

  205. Strangefate
    January 5th, 2011 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    A lot of extreme close-ups of very old vaguely deformed faces in these strips. Did someone make a news years resolution we don’t know about or are the comics just pandering to their presumed base of undead mummies at this point?

  206. But What Do I Know?
    January 5th, 2011 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    I just wanted to say that Dennis the Vaguely Irritating’s teacher is a real hottie!!!

  207. User McUser
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    It’s too bad Gil Thorpe isn’t in color, or else we could learn exactly how gay mister “matching tie and handkerchief” there is.

  208. SideshowJon
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth has commandeered a full plate of hors d’oeuvres (or possibly cookies) and is lost in her own world of culinary bliss. The next storyline-Mary’s struggle with weight gain and Bulimia? Her adventures in competitive eating?

  209. Dr. Weird
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#186):

    Bernice already HAD her makeover storyline! She was pure nerd before Tiffany made her over, with bangs and straight, limp hair. They’re not going to do that again, she’s “stylish” now.”

    While searching for the date of when that happened, I came across this blog, with a subject that speaks for itself.

    http://livebythefoma.blogspot.com/2009/06/creepiest-luann-contest.html

  210. Esther Blodgett
    January 5th, 2011 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

    @User McUser (#207): Holy crap, that’s complicated. I’ll stick to whatever color says “missionary position, two to three times a week, and only with my husband although possibly while thinking about Johnny Depp.”

  211. Poteet
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

    MW — From the look on her face, those have got to be sugar cookies.

    GT — In the first panel, am I supposed to somehow know which character belongs to which talk balloon? Once again I am glad I don’t read this strip every day. For one thing, if female high school students now dress like that one in the second panel, I don’t want to know.

  212. mollificent
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

    Oh, bugger. I wrote a pageful of beautiful snark this morning, complete with several responses to fellow mudges. Cut and pasted it into the box (instead of copying…d’oh!), hit preview, and must have then gone out the door on my merry way without actually posting. Dammit! (It’s not like there was anything COTW-worthy in there, but still…I post infrequently enough as it is.) Sigh.

  213. Poteet
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#211): Never mind. I looked again and realized that the character on the right belonged to both balloons. Obviously a holy man. And then I looked at the second panel again. Yeesh, that outfit looks uncomfortable.

  214. Poteet
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

    @mollificent (#212): Sympathies. I’ve done my own version of that in which my carefully-composed comment is hurled into the ether by the evil spirits that sporadically inhabit my computer. And it’s always a long comment, too. I feel your pain.

  215. VochoCinco
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    MW – Anyone notice the tribble on Dr. Corey, Sr.’s lapel?

  216. Bill Murray
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

    MW panel 2 — As father and son head off the schmeplicate, Mary Worth thinks about all the Bud Light she’ll be drinking to take the edge off the salmon squares

  217. Bill Murray
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

    @Bill Murray (#216): or perhaps they head off to schmeplicate,

  218. Buchholz Surfer
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

    Random Lines From Today’s Funnies:
    That hair you want to finger… Doink! Hot flash! Talk about your toxic assets! Ha! Ha! He! Har! Hee, hee, ha, ha! Good grief! I am sad and lonely and a failure. I’m either confused or just sad. This could get real ugly. Must feed on the flesh of the living! Bang! Crash! Clunk!

    Oh, I was just talking to myself.

  219. TheTJ
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

    ……Is Aunt May the Priest at her own wedding?

  220. curlyfries
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    @Bill Peschel (#89): Too late – Seth probably has that covered. Say, by any chance do you have a combover, an insufferable niece and about 11 kids?

  221. Walker of Dog
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

    Jumb: Today’s cartoon is written entirely in a secret BDSM code, but the self-loathing is crystal clear.

    How he felt when he unplugged the sink: |D|E|F|I|L|E|D|.

  222. Tom T.
    January 5th, 2011 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

    Re: Gil Thorp. Yes, the kid looks goofy, but I have to admit that he’s dressed exactly like the gay kid from Glee. So I’m going to cut the artist some slack here.

  223. Old School Allie Cat
    January 6th, 2011 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    MW I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest that Mary isn’t noshing on cookies, but tortilla chips. I put forth that they sprung for the Nacho Cheese Fountain:

    http://www.chocofountain.com/Cheese_Fountain.html

    How else can we explain the nouveau-Taco Bell decor of their reception venue?

  224. curlyfries
    January 6th, 2011 at 12:19 am [Reply]

    Luann: “Hair you want to finger…” So finally, at long last, Luann is now digitally enhanced?

  225. Aviatrix
    January 6th, 2011 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    @Joshua (#168): For Curtis a fine restaurant is one that has comfy chairs and is located more than a hundred metres from a sewage outfall.

  226. bats :[
    January 6th, 2011 at 12:37 am [Reply]

    I didn’t think today’s MW was worthy of a second read…and then

  227. Baka Gaijin
    January 6th, 2011 at 12:50 am [Reply]

  228. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 6th, 2011 at 12:54 am [Reply]

    @mollificent (#212): Do you still have the program open that you cut from? Maybe hitting “undo” would bring it back?

  229. commodorejohn
    January 6th, 2011 at 1:13 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#226): Oh, the picture on the wall is the best part ;) Bravo!

  230. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 6th, 2011 at 1:18 am [Reply]

    Thursday’s A3G has ADULT THEMES (Partial nudity + possible incest)

    Description: When Trey begins to strip in front of Margo, the latter addresses him as “brother”!

  231. Sequitur
    January 6th, 2011 at 1:21 am [Reply]

  232. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 6th, 2011 at 1:28 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth — Uh oh… Mary found Scott and Adrian’s “stash”!

    Judge Parker — DC Comics’ Lady Blackhawk drops by for a cameo!

  233. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 6th, 2011 at 1:55 am [Reply]

    Love is… scraping your GF’s face off her windshield after she Aldo Kelrasts herself!

    Mandrake the Magician — Honey, in this strip ALL roads lead to Mandrake!
    (The current damsel in distress is standing in for Mandrake’s GF, Princess Narda of Cockalgne a/k/a “Womandrake”!)

  234. Sequitur
    January 6th, 2011 at 1:56 am [Reply]

    Luann! Be afraid! Be very afraid!

  235. Poteet
    January 6th, 2011 at 2:11 am [Reply]

    1/6

    A3G — Trey, kindly do not put that yellow thing back on your neck for the rest of your life.

    MW — Is Mary planning to rip off the newlyweds, or is she really stoned?

    PLUGGERS — I was once stuck for a few hours hitchhiking at the Butler, PA exit in a serious blizzard. Somehow this panel brings back those happy memories.

  236. This Guy
    January 6th, 2011 at 2:20 am [Reply]

    1/6
    9CL: Being a huge sf nerd, I often have dreams or idle thoughts about inexplicably waking up one morning in an alternate universe. Did that happen today? That’s the only explanation I can find for why Brooke would actually be echoing several of us.

    Baldo: Or if you’re going by that big, heavy book, it’s an unspecified number of non-royal wise men/astrologers who presented gifts to the toddler Jesus, having observed a star rising on the night of his birth and having taken a long-ass journey to find him. But you know me; I don’t like to quibble.

  237. Poteet
    January 6th, 2011 at 2:25 am [Reply]

    1/6 A & J — Once again I don’t understand today’s strip, which probably means it’s another technology joke. I can see a possible time coming in the future where the only comics I’ll understand will be the ones about sex.

  238. Poteet
    January 6th, 2011 at 2:27 am [Reply]

    1/6 9CL — Ooh, fun. Next can we have a few strips in which Edda and Juliette are told how very annoying they are?

  239. Uncle Lumpy
    January 6th, 2011 at 2:51 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#237):

    Not so much — Arlo responds to the impending catastrophe by clicking the thermostat up a notch.

  240. Jason1981
    January 6th, 2011 at 4:21 am [Reply]

    Zits: As creepy and “wrong” as the strips the last few days have been, they still do the hot flashes thing way better than FBoFW ever did.

    FW: “Then again, he keeps making out with my dead mom, even though she’s not really there, so maybe he’s NOT serious about your mom. ….Or maybe he’s just freakin nuts.”

  241. Fata Morgana
    January 6th, 2011 at 4:34 am [Reply]

    Has this been shared yet?

    Archie in prison:

    http://mikehawthorne.blogspot.com/2010/03/archie-gang.html

  242. Jack Parsons
    January 6th, 2011 at 7:10 am [Reply]

    GT: Given the (non) hairstyle and clonestache(TM) on the kid who thinks Jesus gets on a dinosaur and shoops his hoops, the collision could take various forms. All of them should include protection.

  243. Jack Parsons
    January 6th, 2011 at 7:15 am [Reply]

    MT: “Sometimes jumping boobs indicate a school of them are nearby. Man, that was really out of character, huh?”

  244. Doug Starr Twinkle
    January 6th, 2011 at 7:23 am [Reply]

    S-M: I don’t which is more impressive: character actor John Lithgow as May or character actor John Glover as the minister.

  245. Doug Starr Twinkle
    January 6th, 2011 at 7:24 am [Reply]

    S-M: I don’t know which is more impressive: character actor John Lithgow as May or character actor John Glover as the minister.

  246. John C Fremont
    January 6th, 2011 at 7:52 am [Reply]

    MW – So is this a quote, or does she just naturally talk to herself this way?

    Retail – “Lunker only pawn in game of life.”

  247. Trilobite
    January 6th, 2011 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    Catering for the Scott and Adrian nuptials was provided by Purina Biddy Chow: all the nutrients a meddling old busybody needs, with the great taste of BEIGE!

    (Now with a free casserole dish with every purchase of a Value Sized 80lb bag!)

  248. Mr O'Malley
    January 6th, 2011 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#24): For that matter, how long does the supply of gasoline — whatever is easy enough for him to harvest without working electricity in the gas pumps — stay viable?

    Given time (a few years?) gasoline turns into something like explosive bubble gum. A friend of mine bought an old Jaguar—they have fuel tanks both sides like an airplane. But the former owners had only been driving on one side so the other side was all gummed up. It took him a long time to get it cleaned out.

    @Fashion Police (#150): I have to put a plug in for mismatched socks. Back in the Middle Ages, asymmetrical coloring was quite popular. And in my youth, when I was involved in competitive sailing, I liked to sport port and starboard socks. So asymmetrical coloring is a fashion option&$151;it happens not to be very popular nowadays, like Oscar Wilde’s ties. But I’m hoping that Oscar Wilde ties make a comeback, because then I might consider wearing ties again.

    Not that I have that much in common with Oscar Wilde, aside from the Irish ancestry thing, but it seemed as though people in that era (men anyway) had a lot more clothing options.

  249. Mr O'Malley
    January 6th, 2011 at 8:08 am [Reply]

    OK, I should preview.

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#24): For that matter, how long does the supply of gasoline — whatever is easy enough for him to harvest without working electricity in the gas pumps — stay viable?

    Given time (a few years?) gasoline turns into something like explosive bubble gum. A friend of mine bought an old Jaguar—they have fuel tanks both sides like an airplane. But the former owners had only been driving on one side so the other side was all gummed up. It took him a long time to get it cleaned out.

    @Fashion Police (#150): I have to put a plug in for mismatched socks. Back in the Middle Ages, asymmetrical coloring was quite popular. And in my youth, when I was involved in competitive sailing, I liked to sport port and starboard socks. So asymmetrical coloring is a fashion option—it happens not to be very popular nowadays, like Oscar Wilde’s ties. But I’m hoping that Oscar Wilde ties make a comeback, because then I might consider wearing ties again.

    Not that I have that much in common with Oscar Wilde, aside from the Irish ancestry thing, but it seemed as though people in that era (men anyway) had a lot more clothing options.

  250. terrapin
    January 6th, 2011 at 8:18 am [Reply]

    MW: “Stash? What stash? Who said anything about a stash? I’m not high!”

    Luann: Listen to your Mother, Luann! You will date Quill!

    Phantom: “Oh, yeah…and your Mother is alive.” HOW HARD IS THAT!?!

  251. Little Guy
    January 6th, 2011 at 8:19 am [Reply]

    9CL: As the meme goes: Do you know how I know you’re arrogant?…..

    The Kwanzaa Zone: “Peace on Earth” is a poor wish because mankind is inherently violent and greedy? *facepalm*

    Billingsly, you should have just gotten a pay-as-you-go phone plan.

    I hope this ends with him dining on the carcass of the Brengir.

  252. Mordock999
    January 6th, 2011 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    Today’s Luann – 01/06/11

    Bernice – “Well, NOW that You and Quill have Broken the “ICK” barrier, what comes next??”

    Luann – “Hey, I GOT to keep telling folks OVER and OVER and OVER again about Our KISS!”

    Bernice – “WHAT?”

    Luann – “I gotta tell My Mom and Dad, and then I have to find Delta and tell her. Then I have to tell Toni, and Brad. Next I have to go down to the Old Folk’s home and wake up Mrs. Horner and Tell Her. Then gotta I ambush Dirk at the garbage cans and tell him. And at school I’ll have to tell Ms. Phelps and Old Man Forgarty. Then Knute and Crystal and then, and THEN I’ll rub it in Tiffany’s freshly painted face! FINALLY I’ll go down to the Library and tell the Good News to Gunther!”

    Bernice – “WAIT! YOU are going to TELL Gunther about this kiss with Quill !?!”

    Luann – “Sure! Gunther knows he’s out-lived His usefulness with me! He’ll wimper at first, then take the news in stride!”

    Bernice – “Hey Look! Here’s Gunther NOW!”

    Luann – “WHAT??!!?? Oh, uh, HI Gunther. Wait, WAIT! WHAT are You gonna DO with THAT Ax…..,”

    ____________________
    DEATH to TJ!!!

  253. Thomm
    January 6th, 2011 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    Maybe the gay/straight meeting has already occurred in Gil Thorpe. The guy on the left in panel one looks like he’s wearing a Phantom of the Opera mask. With the writer’s utter lack of knowledge of what gay people are like (which is pretty much like everyone else), I’d suppose wearing Broadway show costumes as regular attire would be right up there with his notions.

  254. Vince M
    January 6th, 2011 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    @Mr O’Malley (#248): A friend of mine used to wear different color knockoffs of Converse sneakers, ostensibly conducting a comparative wear test.

  255. terrapin
    January 6th, 2011 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    @Mordock999 (#252): If only…

  256. bats :[
    January 6th, 2011 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    @Fata Morgana (#241): yikes! Creepy! And yet so much more readable and enjoyable than the real Archie.

  257. Mr. Goboto
    January 6th, 2011 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Goboto (#Y83): I see now that I was incorrect when I assumed that Dick and Mordred were still in the the car. What I thought were beads of sweat from clenching a turd for the 12-hours he’d been stuck in traffic was actually rain pelting his face.

  258. Another Kiwi
    January 6th, 2011 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    Mary is paying off a debt to the local zombie mafia. In the second panel you can see the Grey Horde advancing upon the two men as Drew is about to say “Whaaattt!!! you’ve been reading my emails???” and Mary is thinking “Here we go, I won’t have to eat dog biscuits anymore!”

  259. ComcisFan
    January 6th, 2011 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    Zits: Is this a hot flash or attachment parenting run amok? A boy, his mom, her boobs, dropped milk carton. What more need be said?

  260. greghousesgf
    January 7th, 2011 at 3:54 am [Reply]

    @User McUser(#207)
    orange means he’ll do anything? explains a lot about Fred from Scooby Doo, doesn’t it?

  261. sully
    January 7th, 2011 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    This stupid wedding of Aunt Cadaver and the Poleman is taking longer than the infamous FOOB nuptuals. Get it over with, and let’s get on to the hot honeymoon action. Then again, let’s not. Much too hideous to contemplate…

  262. Brenda Starr Destroyer
    January 8th, 2011 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

    The day Gil Thorpe referenced Joss Whedon, the world turned inside out.

  263. sanmoritz
    January 11th, 2011 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    @That Library Nut (#16): Finally, Mary is loosening up in panel 2 with a cookie from a fancy bag and a Bud Lite – HERE WE GO!!!

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