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Jeffy becomes Electra

Family Circus, 1/21/07

I thought I had seen the depths to which Keane family dysfunction could sink, but that was before murderous little Jeffy sweet-talked his mother into lovingly handcrafting the very projectiles with which she would soon be pelted. In a way, this cartoon is emblematic of that dark, little-discussed side of parenthood: sometimes, you can pour all of your soul into that little life that you nurtured first in your body and then in your home, neglecting your own private life, personal development, and relationship with your partner to help them become a person, only to see them transformed into an inscrutable monster, an opaque being who only resents you for crimes you can’t imagine or explain, who, despite the years of midnight feedings and changed diapers and band-aids and drives to school and hot meals, is ready to crack your skull open with a ball of ice the moment you turn your back.

On the other hand, she did call him “little man.” I’d be pretty pissed too.

Beetle Bailey, 1/21/07

I know they’re called “throwaway panels” because they just get thrown away, but really, this isn’t even trying. “Hey, I’ve got to fill these two panels with something — how about something that isn’t funny on its own, and that doesn’t really fit in with the main joke, but is just close enough to it that you sort of stare at it for a while scratching your head waiting for it to make sense, but it never does? Bingo! Tee time! I’m off!”

Judge Parker, 1/21/07

With what look like new Barretto-drawn strips back in the daily Judge Parker, our anonymous fill-in artist is offering his swan song with some entirely gratuitous Abbey T&A. I ask you, does anyone rock the chino capris like Ms. Spencer? I think she goes down to Old Navy and buys the Ass Crack Revealing Cut version in bulk.

Also, Sunday’s Mary Worth was a wasteland of exposition and white people, but in the final panel we did get to see her terrifying all-seeing third eye!

I never doubted your powers, o master! Please to not tear my soul asunder with your oculus of ultimate power!

This entry was posted on Monday, January 22, 2007 at 11:20 pm and is filed under Beetle Bailey, Family Circus, Judge Parker, Mary Worth.

95 responses to “Jeffy becomes Electra”

  1. Jamus The Bartender
    January 22nd, 2007 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

    MW. So this is where Mary picks up where Kurtz left off with her all seeing third eye? Damn…what DO we say about Mary when she’s gone…she was a kind person, she liked to meddle…

  2. The Mighty Sam
    January 22nd, 2007 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

    In that panel, Mary’s the yellowest person in Vietnam.

  3. Jamus The Bartender
    January 22nd, 2007 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

    FC. And why does Thel have to make snowballs for Jeffy? Are his nails drying? Still, it was fun seeing Thel get hit in the back of the head with a snowball. If that had been me, my ma would have chased me around the yard…

  4. looks2ce
    January 22nd, 2007 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

    did Miss Buxley get a haircut?

  5. Kenny
    January 22nd, 2007 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

    I love how the light hits Mary’s recessed third-eye.

  6. Mr. O’Malley
    January 22nd, 2007 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

    More from The Daily Cartoonist:

    Inexplicable news from Evansville.

    The Courier & Press has decided not to drop Bruce Tinsley’s Mallard Fillmore or Garry Trudeau’s Doonesbury after a two week period to collect reader input. The result was “readers of the Viewpoint page have let us know in no uncertain terms that they want us to continue running the “Doonesbury” and “Mallard Fillmore” comic strips.”

    The reader comments are a study in diversity.

  7. Bucky Ripsnort
    January 22nd, 2007 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

    To be fair, FC didn’t show the aftermath, when Thel woke her “little man” up at 6AM the next morning with a bucket of slush in bed.

  8. Dicky
    January 22nd, 2007 at 11:43 pm [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey: Those don’t seem as much throwaway panels as necessary parts of that story. Without them, there really is no reason for Miss Buxley to be shouting in the office. The argument could be made that Buxley knows her boss so well that she gladly is his matron alarm. But why??
    I actually would like to know why she’s still working on a military base as a secretary. There are so many other companies that she could work for that wouldn’t be as obviously misogynistic as the army as portrayed by Beetle Bailey. Maybe the health plan is that good? There don’t seem to be many prospects for romance for her at Camp Swampy… Not that that’s any reason to work somewhere.

  9. ohgrl
    January 22nd, 2007 at 11:43 pm [Reply]

    And so Mary, with the all-seeing beam of enlightenment upon her, suddenly knows what she must do.

    Jamus, this one’s for you.

  10. Ron
    January 22nd, 2007 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

    “what DO we say about Mary when she’s gone…she was a kind person, she liked to meddle”

    It’s good that you wished Aldo off the cliff, Mary. That was a real good thing you did.

  11. Stuart P. Bentley
    January 22nd, 2007 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

    “I’ll have her back in a couple hours”, which is to add “… in my hot, greasy palms as she discovers my ‘personal approach to cooking’ firsthand”. Of course, Abbey just lets it slide since the whole point of this trip was to get some sense fucked into Ned anyway.

  12. Mr. O’Malley
    January 22nd, 2007 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

    I thought this was amusing. Slylock Fox for adults. (No, not those kind of adults.)

  13. reader-who-posts
    January 22nd, 2007 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

    FC: Jeffy has overcome so much. After a horrible childhood in which his family tried to have him beat up and he was mentally challenged to the point that he couldn’t even pack snow into a ball, he is now able to draw a mediocre comic strip.

    Edison Lee: OK, we get it, global warming will kill us all! This strip has more environmental jokes than BC has boomerang jokes.

    GT: Until I saw the ginormous rack on the girl on the right, I had no idea if this is a boy’s or girl’s basketball game.

    Curtis: Forgetting for a second the fact that neither word should have quotation marks, can someone explain why “Onion” gets double quotes but ‘pal’ only gets single quotes?

  14. What's wrong with Mallard Fillmore
    January 22nd, 2007 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

    Mr O’Malley, thanks for those links. I’ll save that article for commentary when Mallard Fillmore becomes too dreary and repetitive to merit its own post for the day.

  15. Mr. O’Malley
    January 22nd, 2007 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

    A single improperly used comma in the first panel makes the entire strip collapse into unintelligibility.

  16. AppleGirl
    January 22nd, 2007 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth is evil, and we like her that way.

    I’m not understanding the Greta Weber thing. Did the name Greta Weber come to Mary in a dream? Or was her name given to her as a contact by Dr. Jeff before he left?

  17. Derelict
    January 23rd, 2007 at 12:02 am [Reply]

    Mary does not rend souls–she merely peers into them with that third eye, then fills them with platitudes. You can find hints of this power in the Baghavadgita, though it is a power so terrible that even Shiva himself recoils from discussing it at length. Some scholars hold that the actual translation of one key passage is, “Behold! Now I am become Mary, Destroyer of World Views!”

  18. reader-who-posts
    January 23rd, 2007 at 12:03 am [Reply]

    #8: In the main strip, she’s shouting to give him fair warning through a closed door that his wife is coming, allowing him to run out before his wife sees him. In the throwaway panels, he is shouting after he hears her speak normally – but then she assumes he can’t hear her. How is it that you think these are related?

  19. reader-who-posts
    January 23rd, 2007 at 12:04 am [Reply]

    My third eye is blind.

  20. Dave
    January 23rd, 2007 at 12:10 am [Reply]

    Wow, Neddy looks creepy in that first panel of Judge Parker. It’s looks like she’s so surprised that she can go that she’s gone hysterically blind.

  21. Vernitis
    January 23rd, 2007 at 12:14 am [Reply]

    Thel enjoys using her hands to cup Jeffy’s balls.

  22. Dub Not Dubya
    January 23rd, 2007 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    I didn’t notice Mary’s third eye when I first saw the strip because I was convinced that she had been turned into a giant Oscar statue.

  23. Bill Peschel
    January 23rd, 2007 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    That wasn’t just a third eye, that was the Eye of the Illuminati, in honor of the late, lamented Robert Anton Wilson.

    R.I.P. Bob

  24. Rusty
    January 23rd, 2007 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    That’s not a third eye, it’s an extra orifice. I was kind of hoping someone calls MW “roundeye” during this excursion.

    “Onion” is always written with double quotation marks, it adds to his street credibility.

  25. Chromium
    January 23rd, 2007 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    Dickey is right, the throwaway panels explain why Miss Buxley is yelling. Otherwise she could talk in a normal tone of voice and the general could still hear her. Except then the punchline wouldn’t make any sense. Ahh… headache forming…

    #6 – Holy crap, there are people who like BOTH Doonesbury and MF? OK, now I’m getting dizzy and need to lie down.

  26. Poteet
    January 23rd, 2007 at 12:30 am [Reply]

    Since Josh has understandably forsworn further MT beaver-story commentary until the plot actually becomes interesting, it’s up to us MT fanatics to carry on. And so I will observe, per the 1/23 MT, that Rusty looks like he’s about 47. Perhaps he’s aging in dog years. And the last panel, taken out of context, is creepy. On second thought, it’s creepy IN context.

  27. Virginia
    January 23rd, 2007 at 12:31 am [Reply]

    I forget the old lady’s name in Judge Parker, but when my cousin read the strip, she yelled, “Oh my God! The Crypt Keeper’s wife just made an appearance!”

    I think she’s perfect to join here.

    Also weren’t Neddy and Abbey’s bodies distorted in the third panels? It was like if Stretch Armstrong had a sex change, and then made himself into two different looking transgendered people made out of stretch ychemically-made material.

    However, FC and Garfield actually made me laugh. I’m not sure if it’s because they were actually funny, or if the bad writing had made me a victim of Stockholm Syndrome.

  28. Black Card
    January 23rd, 2007 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    Mrs. Circus has her speech abruptly cut off when a snowball hits her in the back of the head. There are two possibilities. Either she was talking out of a second mouth, concealed under her distressing ’50s hair, or the snowball snapped her neck, killing her instantly. Either is fine with me.

  29. AppleGirl
    January 23rd, 2007 at 12:38 am [Reply]

    Tuesday’s A3G – The last 2 panels are like a Slylock Fox!

  30. Cornwhacker
    January 23rd, 2007 at 12:38 am [Reply]

    Barreto’s back on the weekday JP strips, all right: just check out Rachel’s distinctive lightbulb-shaped head. Raju better get a cut of her inheritance, they’re clearly related.

  31. Jamus The Bartender
    January 23rd, 2007 at 12:39 am [Reply]

    9. yes…Yes….YESSS
    Thank you ohgrl :)

  32. reader-who-posts
    January 23rd, 2007 at 12:42 am [Reply]

    #26 Poteet

    Those beavers sure like having those big logs in their mouths!

  33. Steve S
    January 23rd, 2007 at 12:51 am [Reply]

    I like how the person talking to Mary seems to be saying “Really, he became ill” as if trying to convince her that’s what happened, and he’s not off loving someone long time.

  34. Non-Shannon
    January 23rd, 2007 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    Ka-floompa GUSH! Ka-floompa squee! Ka-floompa GUSH! Ka-floompa squee!

  35. Rhekarid
    January 23rd, 2007 at 1:08 am [Reply]

    Children: They’re just like monkeys, only they know how to lie.

  36. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    January 23rd, 2007 at 1:13 am [Reply]

    Check out the Vulcan woman in the middle panel of 1/22 (DT)GT!

    Also, #15 (Mr. O’M): The implication is that the kids have only the one friend, apparently. Oddly, the Chron has an entirely different cartoon for 1/22. Somebody offended at the OCD reference?

  37. Bobdog
    January 23rd, 2007 at 1:26 am [Reply]

    MW – It’s a good thing all those signs in Vietnam are in English instead of oh, I don’t know maybe … Vietnamese, otherwise Mary might have no hope of finding Dr. Jeff.

    Seriously, I don’t think she’s in Vietnam at all. I think she’s just wandered into a more “ethnic” part of L.A. and she’s just confused.

  38. Scottius
    January 23rd, 2007 at 1:35 am [Reply]

    I don’t think we can rule out the possibility that there was a second thrower in the Family Circus case. I know the evidence seems stacked against Jeffy, but we don’t actually see the projectile being thrown. We all know Billy and Dolly’s murderous feelings toward their overbearing, vile mother, as well as their effeminate, worthless father. This could just be the first step in their master plan of framing Jeffy for their mother’s brain damage and then waiting for their father’s inevitable death by autoerotic asphyxiation. Naturally, PJ will be sold on the black market.

    But I’m just thinking out loud really.

  39. Mike P
    January 23rd, 2007 at 1:37 am [Reply]

    In 01/15… IS THAT CONTINUITY IN “FAMILY CIRCUS”?

  40. Cedar
    January 23rd, 2007 at 1:44 am [Reply]

    #36 You say Vulcan, I say Divine. Why do I always think Divine is making guest appearances in GT?

  41. Mibbitmaker
    January 23rd, 2007 at 1:59 am [Reply]

    Above:

    FC: Stewie Griffin’s favorite comic strip. Or a Hillary Clinton/Dick Morris allegory.

    BB/JP: Abbey vs. Buxley, in the boobie division.

  42. Charles Brubaker
    January 23rd, 2007 at 2:04 am [Reply]

    “Prickly City” – 1/23/2007

    Wow…Carmen’s face transformed into a smiley fact. Also, Winslow’s head shrunk in the last panel

  43. Charles Brubaker
    January 23rd, 2007 at 2:04 am [Reply]

    *face…not “fact”…”face”

    I should’ve saw it before I said it.

  44. Lame Lady
    January 23rd, 2007 at 2:07 am [Reply]

    Hey, Mary Worth! Looks like someone’s “got their eye on you”!

  45. lascauxcaveman
    January 23rd, 2007 at 2:13 am [Reply]

    Although I know we can alwys count on good ol’ Abby to flash the goods for us, Judge Parker’s loaded with the suggestive body parts this time. Nobody’s commented on the nose in Mr. Rent-A-Butler’s closeup. Get the dude a codpiece for heavensake.

  46. Mibbitmaker
    January 23rd, 2007 at 2:13 am [Reply]

    1/23 (456789…):

    FOOB: Definately a breather from the Storyline of Doom.

    A3G: TV Land presents a remake of an old sitcom, this version called “The Ghost and Ms. Moron”.

    Adam: Dear, you gave birth to Stimpy!

    FW: Why not just draw one long panel, write “MOROSE” in big, bold letters, and reprint it every day forever.

    Mutts: featuring B.B. King. The “B.B.” stands for “Bark! Bark!”

    Marvin: “Mallard Fillmore” for dogs.

    Curtis: I get it! This week will be a convergence of all the endlessly repeated storylines in this strip’s history. By week’s end, Curtis, while being chased by Chutney (as he chases Michelle), runs through getting back at D and “O” with one of Gunk’s pets, while running through the disguised rap record store, which annoys his father, who gets even by smoking in his son’s presence. After little brother rats him out.

  47. Mr. O’Malley
    January 23rd, 2007 at 2:21 am [Reply]

    36. Actually, Gadge, goComics is running OBH from two years ago for some reason.

    If anyone wasn’t familiar with the strip, he’d think from the first panel that the girl’s name was “Cylene”. (Actually, it sounds more like some kind of poisonous gas.) That would mean that in the second panel she’s referring to herself in the third person, the way Bob Dole used to do. That makes it unclear whose father is being discussed, Cylene’s, the nameless friend or the boys. And is the adult there also one of these three people?

  48. Mr. O’Malley
    January 23rd, 2007 at 2:23 am [Reply]

    47. boy’s, not boys

  49. Mr. O’Malley
    January 23rd, 2007 at 2:31 am [Reply]

    TDIET: Hold on there, Junior, Dr. Kildare is now considered a classic!

  50. Mibbitmaker
    January 23rd, 2007 at 2:36 am [Reply]

    More 1/23:

    MW: Tomorrow, Mary walks down the hall. Thursday, she continues until she gets to a door. Friday, we see the door, marked “Intensive care”. Saturday she opens the door. Sunday, we retrace her steps into the doorway, She peaks in and goes “Omigod!” in a close-up much like the 3rd eye image. Monday, she enters the room. Tuesday, repeat of “Omigod!”. Wednesday, we see a pan to……

    MT: “Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha! The kids are worried because you might kill the pet beavers! Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha! Dick, you slay me! Ha!Ha!…”

  51. Rob H.
    January 23rd, 2007 at 2:38 am [Reply]

    “With what look like new Barretto-drawn strips back in the daily Judge Parker, our anonymous fill-in artist is offering his swan song with some entirely gratuitous Abbey T&A.”

    Panels five and seven look like Daniel Clowes characters except less sweaty.

  52. Mibbitmaker
    January 23rd, 2007 at 2:40 am [Reply]

    That MW! It takes a blink of an eye for her to decide to fly to Vietnam and do it and find where Greta is, but it’ll take a month for her to get to Dr. Jeff inside the same hospital.

  53. tekende
    January 23rd, 2007 at 2:46 am [Reply]

    I was just reading a few TDIET strips, as is my occasional self-hating wont, and at the same time I had Futurama on the telly. It suddenly struck me–the narration in TDIET is a lot more amusing when read in Zapp Brannigan’s voice.

  54. Lisa
    January 23rd, 2007 at 3:07 am [Reply]

    Who’s the baby mama going to be in Luann? Oh please, oh please let it be TJ before his sex reassignment surgery, and let the father be Brad.

    Yes, yes, I know they are both only 19 or something, but they’ve been 19 for 20 years – anything’s possible, right?

  55. Djur
    January 23rd, 2007 at 3:31 am [Reply]

    #53: Is anything not more funny when narrated by Zapp Brannigan? I get your point, though. “Living on the edge-uh.” Yes.

  56. Greg
    January 23rd, 2007 at 3:32 am [Reply]

    Josh, you’re giving up on Mark Trail? But… but… they just introduced a new character–a TALKING ROCK! (I know, I know, but you just can’t make this joke enough.) I’m fascinated to see what the talking rock does next.

    Man, I’m really far gone, aren’t I?

  57. Caged Tygre
    January 23rd, 2007 at 3:55 am [Reply]

    MT: Rusty Dick Mark Beaver…dang, I almost had a sentence. Anyway, don’t they know the beavers are building a dam to provide LoFo with hydroelectric power?
    Sheesh humans are stupid.
    Speaking of which:
    Foob: Wow, Elly, why are you picking on the kid and the cat? Where was that anger when you had an employee stealing from you, or when your daughter was assaulted, or when your son made you read his novel? Talk about suppressed rage.

  58. willethompson
    January 23rd, 2007 at 5:13 am [Reply]

    JP – Aunt Rachel is that Dorian Greyish picture of Dick Clark that gets older while he stays young.

  59. Loppie Scaduto
    January 23rd, 2007 at 5:13 am [Reply]

    Hey all you fans of recent Dick Tracy sound effects [and I know you're out there]: the Jan 23 Lio has a shout-out to you!

  60. Mr. O’Malley
    January 23rd, 2007 at 5:14 am [Reply]

    57. Maybe it was having to read the accursed novel as a maternal duty that finally brought Elly’s long-suppressed rage to the surface. She’s finally getting in touch with her inner Margo. This might presage a whole new direction in the strip.

    Elizabeth: Boo hoo hoo .. Mtiggiewinkle … Paul … Warren … grandpa’s harmonica … helicopters … what about me? … me me me?

    Elly: WHACK … who cares about the [Margo]ing helicopter? … WHACK … you [Margo]ing skank! … WHACK … Don’t you know that people are dying in … WHACK … [Margo]ing Manitoba? … WHACK

    Elizabeth: Ow! What people in Manitoba?

    Elly: WHACK … not now, you brainless [Margo]ing bimbo … WHACK … listen to your brother … WHACK … back in the [Margo]ing Depression … WHACK

    Elizabeth: Ow! Boo hoo hoo you always liked Michael better! You even stopped me from pulling his thing in the bathtub. Nobody cares about me! Me me me me ME!

    Elly: WHACK … how many works of … WHACK … [Margo]ing tedious Canadian [Margo]ing fiction have you produced … WHACK … you [Margo]ing unnatural offspring? … WHACK … This [Margo]ing family is never [Margo]ing going to catch up to Margaret [Margo]ing Atwood at this rate! … WHACK

    Elizabeth: Ow! It’s not my fault! The First Nations were not characteristically noble! How can I be expected to write a touching memoir about heroic Granddad when people keep stealing his Dieppe-saliva-speckled harmonica?

    Elly: WHACK … if you wanted to have some really [Margo]ing depressing life experiences … WHACK … you should marry [Margo]ing Anthony … WHACK … you’d be on [Margo]ing Oprah in no time … WHACK

    Elizabeth: Ow! Mum! Girlz just wanna have mildly stimulating activities!

    Elly: WHACK … Take off, you [Margo]ing hoser! … WHACK

    and so on. Well, I’m just thinking it could be a new kind of direction for the strip.

    If you’re going to freeze the characters’ ages, you need to exaggerate their basic personality traits. Just look at Major Hoople and you’ll get the idea.

  61. willethompson
    January 23rd, 2007 at 5:57 am [Reply]

    #60 Mr. O – In the future, do not post items like that unless preceeded with an OSHA warrning about not attempting to read this while drinking coffee. You owe me a roll of paper towels.

  62. Alan Vanneman
    January 23rd, 2007 at 7:51 am [Reply]

    RE Beetle Bailey:

    Can the wisecracks. Can we just admit that the phrase “harder than a diamond” should be replaced with “harder than Miss Buxley’s tits”?

  63. AhClem
    January 23rd, 2007 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    #38 -
    Many people believe there was a second thrower hiding behind the snowy knoll.

  64. Hogen Mogen
    January 23rd, 2007 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    Why did Abbey accompany Neddy to Paris? She kept on about how she didn’t want Neddy to get out of control, but then said ok to those soft-core porn dresses, yes to champagne (twice), and “go ahead” to partying at Champs E’useless at some wee hour in the morn. I wish she would have chaperoned me when I was a teen.

    And by “chaperone”, I mean “indulge my inner hedonist, especially by coming on to me and doing everything but strip naked and dancing around a pole but without requiring me to stuff dollar bills into her impossibly small G-string”. Sort of like she did with Ragu.

  65. Joe
    January 23rd, 2007 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth’s Third-Eye? Are you kidding me? The writers of Mary Worth are now exclusively pandering to hip snarky comics-related blog readers. And not only do the throwaway panels in Beetle Bailey not fit with the joke, they completely contradict the joke. I guess I’m guilty of this too, in a way, as the fact that I analyzed a Beetle Bailey strip so thoroughly contradicts my entire life up to this point.

  66. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 23rd, 2007 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    General Halftrack’s office seems to be located in a gardener’s shed. Is this at all the norm for the Army? I thought generals would at least have offices as nice as recruiting officers. Did he throw up on the SOD’s shoes or something? Oh wait, this is General Halftrack.

  67. Erik
    January 23rd, 2007 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    What’s even more horrifying is that that snowball so did not smush the way it should upon slamming into the back of Mom’s skull. Clearly, it’s hard as a rock. What’s even MORE horrifying is that the way she’s dropped that shovel and is falling forward. The handle’s going to drive itself clean through her eye and cause irreperable brain damage.

    Did I say horrifying? I meant hilarious.

  68. Dennis Jimenez
    January 23rd, 2007 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    MW – I was thinking some Alister Crowley Golden Dawn sort of thing. Let meddling be the whole of the law.

  69. Stacia
    January 23rd, 2007 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    #50 Mibbitmaker, your MW plot spec is dizzying. Stop the strip, I wanna get off! If Mary Three-eyes makes it to the door before next week it’ll throw me completely off.

    When she finds the good doctor sucking on a hookah, shacked up with some crazy Vietnamese callgirls and wearing nothing but a tie-dye sock on his nethers, she’s going to plotz. I expect Dr. Jeff to drive off a ravine forthwith.

    FC: Made me sad for some reason. There, I said it.

  70. commodorejohn
    January 23rd, 2007 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    I am so going to miss the guest artist in Judge Parker.

    Also, #60 – if that happens, I will be this close to forgiving Lynn for the recent crimes against writing.

  71. Rudy the Chimp
    January 23rd, 2007 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    If you have a laptop or free standing monitor, turn Mary Worth upside down and look at the forehead. Yes, ladies and gentlemen: It’s Bob Odenkirk’s “F.F. Woodycook Character with a flashlight shining on his face from below his chin!” Or it could be Rip Taylor, or the face from War’s Why Can’t We Be Friends album.

    God, I have no life.

    Rudy

  72. Concerned Citizen
    January 23rd, 2007 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    23 – Geez, I didn’t know Robert Anton Wilson was dead, sorry to hear it. I attended a lecture once where he explained James Joyce’s involvement in things Illuminated by dissecting Finnegan’s Wake. It doesn’t get much better.

    Nice title for this post. It reminded me of a subtitle of the next installment of Rocky and Bullwinkle with our heroes facing peril, it was Morning Comes Electrocuted. Haw haw

  73. sally
    January 23rd, 2007 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    “that dark, little-discussed side of parenthood: sometimes, you can pour all of your soul into that little life that you nurtured first in your body and then in your home, neglecting your own private life, personal development, and relationship with your partner to help them become a person, only to see them transformed into an inscrutable monster, an opaque being who only resents you for crimes you can’t imagine or explain, who, despite the years of midnight feedings and changed diapers and band-aids and drives to school and hot meals, is ready to crack your skull open with a ball of ice the moment you turn your back.”

    Wait a minute — I thought you and Mrs. C. didn’t have kids yet. YOU AREN’T SUPPOSED TO DISCOVER THIS UNTIL IT’S TOO LATE!

  74. Michael L.
    January 23rd, 2007 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    Josh, I like your pun, but Jeffy would really be turning into Orestes, Electra’s brother. Orestes kills his mother Clytemnestra to avenge Clytemnestra’s murder of his father Agamemnon. It’s all in Aeschylus’ Oresteia, another dysfunctional family circus.

  75. SmartPeopleOnIce
    January 23rd, 2007 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    It occurs to me that Beetle Bailey is what Judge Parker would look like if Billy drew it.

    Speaking of which: Great Googly Moogly.

    It’s like Rubin and McLaughlin draw Gil Thorp while being thrown from a moving vehicle.

  76. Randy S
    January 23rd, 2007 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    #36:
    I noticed that both today’s and yesterday’s OBH strips were different in each paper, so I checked back to last week, and oddly enough, ALL the strips are different.
    Pretty weird, huh?
    I guess they must send different sets of strips to different parts of the country.

  77. gh
    January 23rd, 2007 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    #75 SPOI

    Now, now. Remember, Josh says there’s redemption in the crowd scenes. Notice how the guy to EM’s lower left goes from puzzlement to terror as she nearly puts out his eye. And where’d that guy behind her in panel two come from? Nice headband!

  78. Mumblix Grumph
    January 23rd, 2007 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    My God! Mary Worth is developing yellow skin!

    I think she’s turning Japanese!
    I think she’s turning Japanese!
    I really think so!

  79. Just Plain Bob
    January 23rd, 2007 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    # 12 clicked on that link and at the top of the page was another link to http://gocomics.typepad.com/laughtracks/ that discussed the future of FOOB and another link to the press release about same at http://www.amuniversal.com/ups/newsrelease/?view=481

  80. Josh
    January 23rd, 2007 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    #74 Michael L. — me and my totally useless master’s degree in ancient history know exactly who Orestes is. I think you’re seriously overestimating Jeffy’s masculinity, though.

    Josh

  81. Mibbitmaker
    January 23rd, 2007 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    #60:

    You’ve heard of Everett True?
    Meet: Ellieverett Foob

    Her next adventure: beating herself up for the Kourtney fiasco.

  82. Soujin
    January 23rd, 2007 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    Crazy Little Thing Called Foob (with apologies to Freddie Mercury)

    ALL:
    This thing (this thing) called foob (called foob)
    It whines (like a baby)
    ‘Bout its boyfriends all night
    It pouts (woo woo)
    It shouts (woo woo)
    It moves all over like migratin’ geese
    I kinda hate it!
    Crazy little thing called foob.

    PAUL:
    There goes my baby
    She knows how to mess me up
    She drives me crazy
    She asks me ‘Wanna move closer’?
    She leaves me when my tranfer’s made!

    WARREN:
    I gotta be cool, relax, fly high
    Put her on the track
    They’re together
    It’s true.
    Come take a long ride in my whirlybird!
    See? He’s cheating
    On my crazy little thing called foob.

    ANTHONY:
    I gotta be cool, relax, spew crumbs
    Show her I’m laid back
    Anthony-cam:
    She’s hot
    Can’t wait to get her in a basement cage
    I’m ready (READY, LIZZIE!)
    You crazy little thing called foob.

    ALL:
    This thing called foob: she ain’t even that great
    This thing called foob: but I wish she were my date
    I don’t get it!
    Crazy little thing called foob
    Crazy little thing called foob
    (last line ad nauseam)

    :D Long-time lurker, first time poster!

  83. katzy
    January 23rd, 2007 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    Is it incredibly sad that the movie Running with Scissors kind of emulates what I think the family in Family Circle ages if they ever do? I almost eagerly await when murderous jeffy becomes the cousin that sneaks in to kill someone in their sleep with a pair of scissors, or begins questioning his sexual orientation. Or maybe when his sister becomes the lady that talks to cats, and uses the bible to decide on fish sticks for supper (of course this also means that she dies an embittered old woman who never married/had sex as well) but I suppose it will never happen because jeffy has been the same age for as long as I can remember.

  84. King Folderol
    January 23rd, 2007 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    FC – I hate all of these people with a passion normally reserved for the guy who kidnapped your family and buried them in a shallow grave, but I’m on Mom’s side here. The only proper response is to whack Jeffy over and over and over with that snow shovel until you can’t see any of him, not even his hat.

    BB – Maybe it’s the general warning Buxley that his wife is coming by yelling loud, which is her cue to yell loud? But that makes no sense, unless a wormhole has opened up in the space-time continuum, where future Halftrack has temporarily replaced present Halftrack and knows that his wife will show up.

    Or maybe it’s just all the scotch.

    JP – I really can’t read JP with this hack author. The bespectacled dude looks like an extra from The Phantom.

  85. jethro the poster
    January 23rd, 2007 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    jeffy looks positively ducky in panel 2

  86. tekende
    January 23rd, 2007 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    55:

    Haha. “They’ll do it every time, Kif. Oh, yeah!”

  87. bunx
    January 23rd, 2007 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    It should be crystal clear to the regular FC reader that it’s only a matter of time before Jeffy finally buries that shovel in between Mom’s shoulder blades and carries out the ritualistic murders of his nemesese Billy and Dolly, leaving Daddy, PJ and Barfy to pick up the pieces. Oh, the humanity, Jeffy!

  88. Poteet
    January 23rd, 2007 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    Now that three newer posts are up (har, now I know they are not metaposts), this one is probably drawing to a close, so I dare to mention a non-comic idea for those Curmudgeons who may be looking for work that uses their considerable verbal skills. There is an obvious desperate need in certain foreign countries for people who can make the spam scams more credible. If I’m going to get generous financial proposals from fictional bank officials and business owners who supposedly live in London, those people should be able to get through at least the initial sentence without five or six grammatical errors. Surely this is an opportunity for some people who can actually write and edit English. Okay, done now.

  89. Drakkelian
    January 23rd, 2007 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

    Finally, now it’s Mary Worth’s turn to find herself careening off a fortuitously placed cliff while suffering from a drama-induced drunken stupor.

  90. macb
    January 24th, 2007 at 12:09 am [Reply]

    MW- We don’t get it in the Chicago papers, but her Vietnam venture at first evoked echoes of “Apocalypse Now’. But the panel Josh ran from Sunday’s comic suggested another film of the late ’70s/early ’80s, “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” I swear Mary’s head all aglow looks just like either that collaborationist French archeologist or one of the two Nazis just before their heads melted/exploded for blaspheming God when they opened the Ark of the covenant. The ghost of Ronald Lacey is stirring!

  91. Lupin the 3rd
    January 24th, 2007 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    I think Mary’s going “Super Saiyan” like in Dragonball Z. All she’s missing are the rocks floating up from the ground all around her and grunting noises like she’s constipated!

  92. deeds
    January 24th, 2007 at 2:49 am [Reply]

    Oh yeah Abbey can definately sport those khakis! So gorgeous even with a different artist!

  93. Marion Delgado
    January 24th, 2007 at 6:00 am [Reply]

    Jamus:

    I will say she was a “metal” person who liked “kind”

    rock on mary worth! satan! woo hoo! parteeee!

  94. insolenttomato
    January 24th, 2007 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    #87: I think this would make for a truly awesome FC; Jeffy burying the snowshovel between his mother’s shoulder blades, then proceeding to butcher Jeffy and Dolly in an arcane, ritual manner. However; he doesn’t stop there — Barfy is sacrificed upon his drawing-table/makeshift altar to Ba’al, sprinkled with the blood of a drained, trussed-up by his legs Daddy Circus. All of this demarcated by a black dotted line throughout the bloody, carnage-ridden house.

    #91: I’m glad I’m not the only one who likens the “Super Seiyan” noises to constipation. Must they last throughout the ENTIRE episode?

  95. Charly Hoarse
    January 24th, 2007 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

    So Rachel is dying. From the look of these people, I bet she has cancer of the hair.

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