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The Trailiad

Mark Trail, 2/24/11

Wow, this is actually a kind of surprising development in Mark Trail! Rather than Mark just punching out the villain and returning home to Lost Forest, he instead got shot and is washing up on on some distant shore at the bottom of that EMPTY boat. Cast your mind back to your classical education: you’ll recall that the Odyssey begins with Odysseus being held captive by the nymph Calypso, who wants the Greek hero as her husband, on her island. Likewise, Mark will soon be in the thrall of this lady, who’s wearing a revealing shirt and freakishly high-waisted jeans, which are the Mark Trail signifiers for “sex goddess.” Will Cherry remain faithful for the 10 years it will take for Mark to return to her and reclaim his kingdom, with Rusty’s help?

Spider-Man, 2/24/11

“Hmm, so you used to be a vampire … and you’re doing the same vampire bat experiments that resulted in your vampirism before … and there’s a vampire loose in the city … and you have visible fangs and strange claw-like fingernails … but you say you’re not a vampire? Sure, whatever, I’ll buy it. So, you got a TV around here?”

Marmaduke, 2/24/11

Of all of Marmaduke’s demonic powers, some find his ability to control human minds to be the most terrifying. But when you think about the awful fate that awaits this child, isn’t it a blessing that he’s living out his last moments in a sort of zombified ecstasy, rather than abject terror?

320 responses to “The Trailiad”

  1. Tripp Carter
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    Marmaduke death toll: 14,677,896

  2. Longhorn
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    Rusty as Oedipus!? I think I’ll go rinse my brain in battery acid now…..

  3. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    The Knight Life — Keef’s wife stars in an Off-Off-Broadway production of “Masked Maggot: The Play”!

    Spider-Man — All traces of vampirism ARE gone… if you don’t count the pallid complexion, oversized canines and putrid breath!

  4. S. Stout
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    Vampire or not, he sure is styling with his ivory suit and perfect Windsor knot.

  5. Gunky
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    Oh, please, please, please let Marmaduke stay with these new people and never return home. Mark Trail had to quit smoking a pipe to protect the impressionable comics-readers; Marmaduke should have been neutered years ago, AND his idiotic, irresponsible owners should obey the leash laws. Maybe Brad Anderson should run a story line showing the Winslow family living under a bridge, bankrupted by the fines they’ve had to pay for letting Marmaduke run free, terrorizing the neighborhood.

  6. nescio
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    Lockhorns: I’m picturing an “It’s a Small World” type procession of dozens of people from around the world, in their native costumes, staring in heavy-lidded silence while they listen to Loretta complain about Leroy on the phone.

  7. puguggly
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    Does anyone else find it odd that the first and second panels of MARK TRAIL are in different locations, with seemingly no break in the dialogue? I’m starting to think that the FBI, or whoever, doesn’t have a boardroom in their helicopter after all, but instead possess some kind of teleportation powers that allows them to zip back to the office any time they feel like continuing a conversation sitting down.

  8. Russ H
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    Maarmaduke: “Yes human female….let me KEEP him…he shall be the first of my thralls when my dominion over your world begins…”

  9. Terry in Maryland
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    Look at that first panel in MT. Where are they talking? A terracotta graveyard?

  10. But What Do I Know?
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    MT — “Yes, we’ve called off the search, but if Mark is out there we’ll find him.” The government official seems to mastered the art of sounding absolutely certain while having no idea if his promise is achievable. Give that man a promotion!

    To elaborate on your Odysseus theme, the hero was found washed up and naked on the beach by Nausicaa and her maiden companions. Just imagine what Mark would do in that situation!

    And lastly, who wears jeans to the beach?

  11. Tom
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    I gotta admit, I’m a sucker for the latest Gil Thorp storyline – it’s got me hooked! I kinda like those sappy endings where everybody learns something. Hopefully the gay dude will learn a valuable lessons that not all devout evangelist Christians (even those who happen to be jerks on the basketball courts) are bigoted bullies, and hopefully the school will learn that there’s no correlation between homosexuality and pedophilia.

    …I just wish they’d state explicitly what they’re talking about. The bigoted comments based on the wink-wink innuendo at gocomics.com are starting to get to me.

    Also, the authors seem to be operating under the assumption that “gay” actually means, “insouciant, flippant, mindlessly grinning at all times…” which may have been its original implication, but (given the suicide rate among gay teens) generally no longer applies.

  12. Professor Fate
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    MW: Everything Wilbur suggests involves food. At least it wasn’t the Bum Boat.

    FW: Post Surgery Rehab – you’re doing it wrong.

  13. Doctor Handsome
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    Tomorrow in Mark Trail:LOOK, Mommy! A giant WOODCHUCK providing EXPOSITORY DIALOGUE about how Mark survived!”

  14. Yael
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    @Longhorn (#2): You’re thinking of a different story. Odysseus’ son was Telemachos.
    Personally, I am looking forward to the scene where Mark Trail removes his disguise and, with the help of rusty, lays waste to all of Cherry’s suitors – who will of course have facial hair and/or mullets. Especially because I’m pretty sure he will be disguised as a giant duck.

  15. Little Guy
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#228): MT: Today’s installment of Jackelrod’s “The Little MerMILF.”

  16. Scott Bot
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    DT – I don’t know about the rest of you, but I plan to find a way to fit the expression ‘Egad!! What happened?’ into at least one conversation today.

    FW – Yeah, let’s not go there. Or anywhere else, for that matter. Just stop, if you don’t mind.

    Garf – If it makes you feel any better, that joke wasn’t nearly as funny as you thought it was going to be.

    JP – I really appreciate this elaborate month long description of Ms. Darling’s credentials, but would you mind if we actually went somewhere with this story already?

    MW – ‘Uh, Dad, it’s not people in general that I want to avoid contact with. It’s just you that I want to avoid contact with.

  17. Captain Plaid Pants
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    MW: Oh, I’m sure Wilbur will be just fine getting dinner for himself. Unless Kraft ran out of mayonnaise or Wonder Bread stopped making bread, Wilbur will be A-Okay. Granted he will probably be mumbling to himself all evening. “No dinner!? But, but… La Rosa has sandwiches… with mayonnaise. I don’t understand what she’s saying. How could she not want dinner? With sandwiches, no less. Maybe I should have mentioned the mayonnaise. I just can’t wrap my brain around this. She must be on the smack. I should ask Mary about this.”

    Crankshaft: It’s funny because Rose is a bitch.

  18. Écureuil Écumant
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    MT: With that flowing coif of hishershits, Mom’s li’l unitard best be behind one of those terracotta tombstones (tip o’ the hat to @Terry in Maryland (#9)) when Mark regains his marbles.

  19. Setec Astrology
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    @But What Do I Know? (#10): Not only is the mysterious seductress wearing jeans at the beach, but she’s also carrying an open can of housepaint–or maybe tar, to immobilize any washed-up strangers she encounters.

  20. Mibbitmaker
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    A3G: Margo just admitted she screwed up. Of course she feels numb after a crushing, unthinkable blow like that!

    Curtis: Satchel from GF: “HAHAHAHAHAHA! Good one!”

    Crank: Paul McCartney & Wings, 1975.

    DT: Yeah, Mordead’s face looks like a bunch of storm water splashing against a grainery! EEEWWWW!!!

  21. Maggie the Cat
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    MW- I would mock Dawn’s broken-looking neck, but I don’t want to offend those who have a broken looking neck. I willmock Wilbur, though, because I just can’t help it. Take a hint, Wilbur! Dawn isn’t into you that way!

  22. Drew Funk
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Uh oh, looks like Mark has washed up on the Island of Misfit Hair.

  23. Jessy
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    What kid would say, “Look, Mommy! An EMPTY boat!” Might as well say, “Behold, Mother! An abandoned motorcraft which appears to be listing dangerously to starboard!” It would be just as believable.

    ::Deep Breath:: It’s okay. Willingly suspending disbelief here.

  24. Chyron HR
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail – Each concussed forest ranger floats; silent sorrow in empy boats.

    Spider-Man – He should go ask Storm of the X-Men, since she was the Bride of Dracula. (This is true.)

    Funkerboo – No. No, that’s not ironic at all. Thanks for asking.

    And is Bull aware that Summer’s leg is fucked up, not her brain? I’m pretty sure she can tell how many fingers you’re holding up, dude.

    Mary Worth – Yes, that’s what happens when you spend all day on the internet. You don’t get enough to eat and just waste away. Yuh-huh.

  25. Dood
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    Josh, I saw your title and thought Mark Trail had washed ashore Hootin’ Holler because I read it as Trailhaid.

  26. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    A&J: gentle puns and green anvils.

    Frazz: same anvil, not so gentle anvil, no puns.

    CdS: demonstrates Civil Defense Drill against loose clowns.

    Lio: ewwwww.

    AD: is not about poker. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

    Bizarro: needs moar corgi.

    GT: obvious plot becomes obvious.

    Jumble: “Fell for it” doesn’t fit in the least. :-(

    MG&G: takes a BIG shot at FC. (and you thought Pastis was tough on the melonheads!)

    RwO: upright knitting needles.

    6Cx: ooo! I can answer that!

    Zits: *snurk!*

    standard oversnarpologies.

  27. CanuckDownSouth
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    @Setec Astrology (#19): Dang, I was going to mention that painting the beach was far more mysterious than why you’d wear jeans to do so :)

    The answer to “who wears jeans to the beach” is in my teenage experience “West German pilots on day leave from NATO training, who will then proceed shortly to strip their speedo-worthy bodies down to, well, speedos”.

  28. Anonymous
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    @But What Do I Know? (#10): People who bring their paint bucket and brush to paint the sand wear jeans to the beach … that’s who.

  29. teenchy
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    @Tom (#11): Make that two of us. GT has a slightly more realistic view of high school sports than FW, without the Mary Sue that is Les. It also has a slightly more realistic view of high school social relationships than Luann, without the squicky sexual inuendo… well, almost. I do wish the artists would study sports wire photos or at least buy a wooden artist’s mannequin if only to understand perspective and how the human body bends.

  30. Alice Bluegown
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    “Look, Mommy, an empty boat!”

    “Don’t bug me, Precious – I’m trying to get this entire beach painted with matt black emulsion before the tide comes in…”

  31. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    Henry — “Joe Brush” looks like this guy:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fredric_March

  32. Professional Mole
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    “I lost ALL TRACES of vampirism long ago”

    Except that obvious vampire bat face, eh? What the heck, Spidey, you used to be SMART dammit!

  33. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#27): fanservice! ;-)

  34. word-doctor
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    What handicraft will Cherry make and undo to stave off the crass and cravatted horde? I’m thinking a big macrame owl…

    Archie’s dad yelled so loud that he motivated the stripe off A’s shirt in the second panel.

    The Phantom: so slick he can age himself to have coffee in Marvin.

  35. Écureuil Écumant
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    FW: Bull overhears the resentful tone in Les’s voice, and reflexively flashes him a peace sign even though Les’s actual words are conveyed only as muffled mumbles. Les ignores him as always, preferring to flex his resentment as assiduously as Bull is working Summer’s knee.

  36. thegatwickview
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    FW: So who is taking pictures of Less Moore’s “greatest hits” from his past? Has Less been “Truman Burbank” before Truman Burbank? Does Ed Harris know anything about this? Hmm.

  37. Pozzo
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    Hey, if Apollo Anton Ohno says he’s not a vampire, it’s good enough for me.

  38. Katy
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    I don’t understand why, in Funky Winkerbean, we shouldn’t go there. Why wouldn’t Les want to lord it over the former bully who is now reduced to helping Les’s offspring in a universe where helping means you’re smirkable?

  39. Calico
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#26):
    I loved your comment about Chef singing by the fire on yesterthread – I miss him!
    I can even do a fairly good impression of him, when he says something like “Whoa whoa whoa, Children-where did you learn that kind of language?”

  40. Anonymous
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    MW: My ivorysoapPhone. I’m going to eat my ivorysoapPhone.

    (Posted just before jump.)

  41. Comcis Fan
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    #40 was me.

  42. Calico
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    C’mon, Wilbur-show her you really care-make it a double date with Mary and Jeff at the Bum Boat! Screw that fancy La Rosa-you can’t get white bread slices there anyway.

  43. Scott Bot
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    S-M – ‘Since I didn’t get the part as Edward in the Twilight movies, I’ve lost all interest in vampirism. Except the bats. The bats I like.’

  44. Comcis Fan
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    FW: For all of Les’s unctuousness, and despite the fact that Bull has been a kind adult to him for decades now, Les is not over Bull’s high-school bullying. Bullying is a terrible, terrible thing. It’s just that I think Bull has made amends by being a decent adult to Les, consistently, and probably even apologized somewhere along the line. Meanwhile, little does Les know that his smug, self-pitying, spineless ways have irritated legions of curmudgeons to an extent Bull Bushka never imagined. Cayla loses points in the Lesstakes by bringing up the bullying.

  45. Doctor Handsome
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    I sense another Aunt May wedding in the works. Her eHarmony profile lists her #1 turn-on as, “maybe not a vampire anymore.”

  46. Nostradamus (unless that\'s been taken)
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    Wounded by the bullet to the head, Mark Trail has amnesia. You heard it here first. The crystal ball is cloudy, however, on whether, after he sets up a new life with this woman and her daughter, they all move to the city, where he runs a cockfighting ring. I see… GINORMOUS ARMED ROOSTERS!

  47. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    yup, Spidy is like that.

    I’d call this a win instead of a fail.

    thoughts inspired by Frazz & A&J today.

    ferret kisses.

    KAAAAHHHNNN! (ottersquee)

    squeetah family.

    epic puppy eyes.

    corgi yearbook photo.

  48. New_squid_in_town
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    MW: And so we slip seamlessly into Mark Trail and the MILFs of Cannibal Island.

  49. bats :[
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    @S. Stout (#4): Werewolves of London, Vampires of New York, Spiders of La-Z-Boy…

    @Pozzo (#37): there is a chilling resemblance.

    @Scott Bot (#43): who doesn’t? :D

    MT: Yeah, I’m gonna repeat (this Josh posting in the morning really throws me off-kilter, but I like it). Think of it as harpies or sirens or somethin…
    While it would be kinda cool and edumacational if the Trailiad were to happen, I don’t like the idea of Mark’s faithful old pal Andy (aka, Argos) cashing in his chips when Mark finally returns. Maybe Cherry’s dad (aka, Laertes, more or less) could.
    And Odysseus was known for his cunning — he suggested the building of the Trojan Horse. Umm, what has Mark done in recent memory to compare to this?

  50. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    @Calico (#39): I had Chef on the mind yesterday. Was planning to make Salisbury Steak for dinner. :-)

    “Pig and Elephant DNA just don’t mix.”

  51. T. Chicana
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    FW: Are you sure you’re supposed to start rehab the minute you get home from the hospital? With a high school coach moving your leg up and down? I was never into sports, but this seems a little wrong!

  52. Calico
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#47):
    Chef songs medley! Hahahaha! (NSFW or children under the age of 45, LOL)

  53. Calico
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#50):
    Salisbury Steak
    Green Beans
    Milk

  54. Mibbitmaker
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    FW: “Do not go there, back to when the strip was actually good! That’s a big no-no!”

    MT: Finally, someone in the strip acknowledges Mark’s absence/invisibility!

    MW: “Aren’t you going to SHUT UP?!!”

    MG&G: More malaprops, mule!

  55. Esther Blodgett
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    Crank: What are all the other old ladies in the neighborhood going to forfeit now that Rose is injured?

    FW: Sorry, Cayla, but if you want to score points with Les, your flashbacks must depict him as a windblown, brooding poet. More specifically, he should be shown manfully defending himself against Bull with a roundhouse punch and a witty bon mot, something like “Here’s a little Ezra POUND for you!” Try it again, with more fawning adoration.

  56. Écureuil Écumant
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#49) on MT: “And Odysseus was known for his cunning — he suggested the building of the Trojan Horse.”

    Yes, he devised this classically cunning stunt in honor of Helen, a classically…

    *dashes for exit*

  57. Mibbitmaker
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    Phantom:

    “Stop playing sick, twisted mind games, Pop!”
    “Yeah!!!”
    “But I really thought she was — oh, nevermind!”
    “No, Pop! Really! I wanna know!”
    “Alright — I really thought your mom was dead! Why, I didn’t even put much effort at all into looking for her very long, I was so certain…”
    “You didn’t even keep looking for her?!?”
    “Well, no, I…”
    “I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU……!”
    “ME, TOO!!!!!!”
    (kids run into their guest bedrooms)
    SLAM!

  58. TheDiva
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    MT: Why does almost everyone in Mark Trail sport the exact same shade of inky-black-with-blue-highlights hair? I suspect severe inbreeding, which would go a long way towards explaining Rusty.

    SM: “I lost all traces of vampirism, except the fangs, the Orlock nose, the pointy ears, the aversion to sunlight, garlic, and holy symbols, the compulsion to count any pile of small grains in my path…”

    9CL: Since Edda just rammed her leg up your crotch for the second time this week, I don’t think you should be throwing stones about “non-regulation areas.”

    C’shaft: Admit it, Pam, it was a stupid question.

    DT: Anyone else think this will end like that one Twilight Zone episode, and Dr. Mordred will have the only attractive, normally proportioned face in the strip?

    FW: No. No it’s not.

    GT: And two months in, we finally come to the point! Pretty fast-paced for a soap strip.

    MW: How does Internet addiction tie into this again? So far there’s been no evidence that Dawn doesn’t want to spend time with anyone at all, only that she doesn’t want to spend time with Wilbur–which, as has been noted, is a perfectly reasonable sentiment. Maybe the dialogue is recycled from a previous story where the new evil technology was video games or television or them new talking pictures.

  59. Oregonian
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    We could have had a full morning of classic literature if the kid had just used Marmaduke like a Trojan horse and crawled up inside his… eh, no, don’t go there.

    In other topics, was anyone else perplexed by the “plate carrier” reference in Doonesbury? There better be a Wikipedia page with that title by midnight.

  60. But What Do I Know?
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    @Setec Astrology (#19):

    And Anonymous #28. My bad–I missed the paint brush. The mysterious woman of a certain age must be the Rosy Fingered Goddess of Dawn. . .

  61. Dennis Jimenez
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    MT – The weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed….

    S-M – Billy Ray Cyrus hair $8 (Supercuts), Michael Jackson nose $3,000 (Shapiro and Horawitz, MDs – Brentwood) – handjob from Peter P. – Priceless….

    Marm – So, he crapped a kid, right? This strip cracks me up….

    Adios Amigos. DJ.

  62. TheDiva
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    @T. Chicana (#51): Well, you don’t expect Les to send his daughter to a professional physical therapist, now do you? Everyone knows they’re a bunch of sullen, sarcastic meanies who only exist to make life difficult for the Specialest Snowflakes, like all other medical and service personnel in the Funkyverse.

  63. Écureuil Écumant
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    GT: “Do I see anyone else ultra-religious in here?” Despite the historic relevance I guess we have to exclude Goliath, rising from the grave to pick your nose, because Philistine Lubavitcher.

  64. Swordsmith
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    @Longhorn (#2): Did I miss something? I thought we were talking Telemachus.

  65. bats :[
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    @T. Chicana (#51): like everyone and everything in Funkytown, Coach Bushka is desperate (and not above anything to maintain the communal misery of the place).

  66. Écureuil Écumant
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    Well, that got incomprehensibly munged in transit. Try again.

    GT: “Do I see anyone else ultra-religious in here?” Despite the historic relevance I guess we have to exclude Goliath, rising from the grave to pick your nose, because Philistine ? Lubavitcher.

  67. Pseudo3D
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    9CL – “Non-regulation areas?” Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Nymphomaniacs, I don’t think you should be commenting on that.

    A3G – Why am I reminded of the Mills malls for some reason? They’ve definitely gone down hill.

    FW – Bull, rehab is supposed to hurt. Make it hurt.

    GT – Predictability keeps the plot moving, folks.

    MT – Well, in the Odyssey, Odysseus was kept as a sex slave. Mark as a sex slave? Hm.

    MW – Try to tone it down there, killer.

    S4 – I’ve heard about the C-3PO cereal. It looked a bit like kitty kibble, and reportedly, tasted like Honeycomb.

    S-M – “Say, there’s a great Italian restaurant on 54th! They make great garlic toast…ever eaten there?”

  68. word-doctor
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#45):

    dingdingding!

  69. Muammar the Haggard
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    I rise from the grave to pick the nose of the greasy infidel rat who programmed this blogware!

  70. spike
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    @jayjaybear (#y146): Re: 9CL Looks like you called this one, but perhaps not in the way you expected.

    @Old School Allie Cat (#y161): Re: Tango Yeah, there’s a difference between a “generically good tango and Fernanda Jons-style” one, but it would be lost on most people, unless they’re dancers themselves. [mrs. spike and I are still working on achieving the former in our ballroom classes.] The only analogy I can think of at the moment is a once-a-year office ball game vs. The World Series–you’d recognize the difference in the calibre of perfomance there, I’m sure.

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#y205): Thanks for the link. From now on, whenever I feel I’m having a bad day, I’ll return to it and put things back into perspective.

    @Little Guy (#y228): Yes, Seth is gay. For some reason, Fernanda is now part of his social circle (guess it took place a few months ago when she was homesick and ended up at Seth’s and Edda’s place on a crying jag), and he feels obligated to “defend her honor”, although it sounds as if she’s capable of doing so herself.

    @Longhorn (#2): Put that battery acid down. Josh is talking about Telemachus

    @Mibbitmaker (#57): Yes!!!

    @Swordsmith (#64): No, you’re right.

  71. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    the last couple days of 9CL makes the Geico “does it take two to tango” ad ever so much funnier.

  72. Walker of Dog
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    @Dr. Weird (#Y222): For a Batiuk character, the physical pain is unpleasant – it reminds them that they haven’t achieved death yet. But the most agonizing injury is an injury without snark.

    @But What Do I Know? (#10): I think Mark may have drifted to the Island of the Sirens. Except instead of seductive songs, these sirens have BARE SHOULDERS. Quick, Mark – stuff your eyes with wax!

    @Écureuil Écumant (#63): Thanks for the helpful Perspective Advisory – that hand didn’t look quite right.

    @Maggie the Cat (#21): While drawing Dawn in the second panel, Mr. Giella received some unsettling news.

  73. Jessy
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#55): Ezra Pound! Snort!

  74. Effluvius Erratus
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    DT: For all we know, it could be Mordred saying, “Your face reconstruction didn’t go to well,” in response to Dick’s “EGAD!!” Just look at that mug!

    MT: “Mmm! Mmm! This lotus is delish!”

    Sally Forth: What about Quisp, Ted? Or Halfsies? Surely you must remember something as obscure and irrelevant as Halfsies!

  75. Scott Bot
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    MW – This latest plot is Reefer Madness with computers instead of drugs and Wilbur and Dawn instead of attractive and interesting people.

  76. OMOT
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    Home at last!

  77. OMOT
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    That was in response to Drew Funk #22, by the way.

  78. Calico
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    @Calico (#52):
    Here’s the link, finally!
    (Agan, NSFW)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLaglAD4iG0

  79. spike
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    PBS: Rat is my hero. I now have a new-all-purpose excuse that covers most situations.

    Luann: Crystal rules!

    A3G: Margo, you’re abviously struggling with the anger and contempt you originally felt for Trey when you first met him. Go with your strengths, Girl!

  80. Digger
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    Here’s hoping the wounded Mark ends up stranded in this woman’s remote beach house for awhile. As he lies in bed recovering, he will be unable to shave and will grow a beard. Then, he will look in the mirror, see the evil being he has become, and automatically punch himself in the face.

  81. commodorejohn
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    Bizarro – Thrill to random people being bored with TV!

    Crankshaft – Every day, I pray for nuclear warfare to obliterate the Batiukverse.

    FW – No. That’s not ironic. That’s not even ironic in the “random person who doesn’t actually know what ‘irony’ means” sense. And JESUS FUCK WILL YOU WIPE THAT GOD-DAMN EXPRESSION OF SUPPLICATION OFF YOUR FACE YOU’RE ONLY FEEDING HIS FUCKING EGO. GAH!

    GT – Ham-to-ham combat!

    HOTC – Hey, Dean gets what idiot marketing agencies don’t: Internet memetics are utterly non-deterministic and thus can’t be engineered. Pat yourself on the back, Dean, you’re smarter than Madison Avenue. (Not that that’s saying a lot.)

    JP – How is she getting her arm to do that? I mean, that’s her right hand, but it’s where her left ought to be. Forget connections, she’s the most flexible intern in the industry! What, were her parents from Milford or something?

    Love Is… – Elton John roleplay.

    Luann – “Here’s our resident assclown, Luann audience! Laugh! Laugh at her scripted idiocy! Laugh at the fact that she has no option but to fail horribly at everything she does! Laugh at her buffoonery as stand-in for the cool kids who used to taunt Greg Evans! Laugh, dammit!

    Mandrake – Eh!? I mean, I think Millie is by far the awesomest person in this storyline, but when did Chief of Police become a hereditary position?

    MT – Okay, does every woman in this strip besides the villainesses and Sue the Developer look like Cherry with different hairdos?

    MW – “No, I’m too busy turning into a Deep One to bother eating.”

    Monty – AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

    Phantom – Kit, do you speak English, or is this just an unusual sequence of glossolalia?

    SF – I did not need to know this existed, Ces.

    Ziggy – Thank you, Ziggy, for officially making Twitter as uncool as possible. Those of us on the real Internet have been waiting for this.

  82. TheTJ
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    Man, this “Non”-vampire fella may be on to something! Not that it’s exactly HARD to escape Spiderman, but’s it’s still nice to know that if you were caught by him, say, murduring someone, all you have to do is say “I lost all traces of homicidal rage tears ago!” and you’re pretty much of the hook.

  83. Walker of Dog
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    DT: If Dick isn’t careful, he’s going to make Mordred self-conscious. In the off-panel action, I assume that Dick has whipped out his cellphone camera for a few quick pics.

    GT: Sitting alone in front of his locker, Jeff the Unitarian is overlooked again.

    Phan: What a tool. Just below the frame of the second panel, I hope Devil is taking a big dump on Kit’s foot.

    JP: Sam thinks to himself: “She’s really coming on to me – look at her, rubbing her speech bubble against my chest! Yep, all the ladies want to swing the Driver.”

    MT: Dick is hopeful that Mark will be found alive but Kelly, picking out a gravesite, is less optimistic.

    – Today’s Mark Trail product placement: Oceanside MomJeans, from the Uptight Beachwear collection by Alexander McQueen. Available exclusively at Target.

  84. chrishocker
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman: an awful superhero, or the most awful superhero?

  85. Ed Dravecky
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    I know David E. Kelley’s Wonder Woman series is probably going to suck but it’ll be pure bliss compared Jack Elrod’s take on this comics classic… “What manner of creature is this in the boat, Mother?” “Diana, this is what is known as a man.”

  86. Uncle Lumpy
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail — Amnesiac Mark washes up on a northern island and is saved by a fisherwoman who cares for him and painstakingly teaches him the local language (“Eng…lish”? “No, handsome stranger — “English”). Months pass until he discovers a scrap of Woods and Wildlife in the outhouse, and vows, “I will travel to this Lost Forest, and learn the secret of my past.” He falls into the hands of a gang of hairy renegades who equip him with a cyanide pistol and program him (“Hey, Tiny Basic running on DOS — this will be easy!“) with a mission to kill Bill Ellis.

  87. Captain Plaid Pants
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    I can always count on @commodorejohn (#81) to articulate my feelings about Batiuk and his artistic excretions.

  88. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#78): ahhhhhh, the classics. :-D

  89. commodorejohn
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#85): What are you talking about? That would be awesome.

  90. Sequitur
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#49):

    And Odysseus was known for his cunning — he suggested the building of the Trojan Horse. Umm, what has Mark done in recent memory to compare to this?

    Mark has built the giant Trojan Stack O’ Pancakes!

    Mark: Look, Cherry! A Trojan Stack O’ Pancakes! We can live in this thing while stalking the bad guys!

    Cherry: Mark, that’s a friggin’ stack o’ pancakes. You’d just eat us out of house and home!

    Rusty: Where’s Sassy??!!

  91. Chip Whittle
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: “I’m not sure what I’m feeling now… It isn’t rage, it isn’t joy at dominating what’s-her-name and that other woman that keeps being in my apartment…it’s…it’s…” And before long Margo is sure to turn to Trey and ask, “What is this thing you call ‘love’?”

    Curtis: “He says no to it! No to a pet python, no to a BB gun, and no to leopard print underwear!!” “Hey! Look out!! Oh, if only someone had a BB-gun-wielding pet python in leopard-print underwear! I mean besides Dr. Burbur!”

    Edge City: So now we know what Dawn was planning that’s better than dinner with her dad at La Rosa.

    Mark Trail: The customs guy must be worried about Mark. In the first panel there he’s brought in Gleep and Glop from The Herculoids to help look. Oor they’re just sneaking up on the bereaved.

    Though, in a sense, isn’t a boat “empty” even when Mark Trail is in it?

    Marvin:“You really need to lay off the strong coffee. You don’t even look like you’re on the verge of death. Do you want to be stuck in Marvin forever?”

    Mother Goose and Grimm: If I may: “More circles, mule!”

    The Phantom: “Yes, kids, your mother is alive! And I’ve abandoned her in a beachfront hut twelve feet from the Rhodian border so you can wait three months to see her! Kids, if you don’t grow up hating me, you’re not paying attention.”

    Rhymes with Orange: To be fair, some days, any cat deserves this.

  92. Evan
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    “What’s that honey? The beach? Ok, grab your paint can and we’ll put on our mom jeans and go!”

  93. Rondello
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    @T. Chicana (#51): FW: Are you sure you’re supposed to start rehab the minute you get home from the hospital? With a high school coach moving your leg up and down? I was never into sports, but this seems a little wrong!

    Being un-snarky again, but I had surgery on my broken wrist a couple of Weds. ago, and the discharge orders said to start therapy 1-2 days after the surgery. I’m finishing up my second week, and all they’re working on is the fingers, not the wrist. But the idea of a high school coach doing the therapy is all kinds o’ wrong.

  94. UncleJeff
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    MT: Odysseus, Telemachus…I never got past the Classic Comics versions.
    But I do like the idea of Rusty fighting alongside Mark as they slaughter Cherry’s suitors (the guy who ran the bait shop Mark broke into, the sheriff who let Mark punch him in the mouth, the conservation warden who gets overruled by Mark).
    Only Rusty would probably hand his sword/submachine gun over to one of the suitors as soon as the fight began.

  95. gnome de blog
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    So Cortez didn’t do the website. Where’s the guy who whacked himself in the head with the barky stick?

  96. Doc Lemming
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    S-M: I’m looking at Morby and thinking, even with the Windsor knot, he looks sloppy. I know it’s a pain for the artists, but since we’re going to say who he is about a hundred times, why not give him a haircut? Maybe a shave? ‘Cause, you know, if I stopped being a vampire, I’d probably want to eliminate all traces of looking like the vampire I once was.

    I mean, kudos to them for not drawing him in the costume (insulated long underwear in the first appearance), but they could go a little further. For instance, maybe a buzz cut but a full beard–I’m thinking something Amish. (And we never see any Amish vampires. Hmmm. Got to get to work on that.)

  97. gnome de blog
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    Obviously, somebody told Dawn to get a life and she took it to heart.

  98. Rimrock
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    And in the first panel it looks like they are in a cemetery. What’s up with that???

  99. Rimrock
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman…that “vampire” looks freakishly like Michael Jackson.

  100. Fashion Police
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    @Doc Lemming (#96):
    Whatever is the point of being a vampire without Victorian evening clothes?

  101. Sequitur
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    @Rimrock (#98): Those aren’t grave markers. They’re R2 units that fell off commodorejohn’s truck.

  102. Renee J
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    MT- Hmmm. The Coast Guard stops the search for Mark because of the storm, but a mother and young girl can play on the beach. How far did Mark travel?

  103. Hairhead
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    Luann – You think Luann’s been squicky before? Wait until Greg Evans fills an entire daily strip (many two or three) with undressing/swimsuited teen girls checking each other out. Now, in order to maintain consistency within the Luanniverse, either Tiffany is going to be shown to have knockers visibly bigger and perkier than Luann’s, or when Luann takes off her shirt she will suddenly show much greater “talent” than she has before!

    Ick! Ick! I feel icky even writing these words — (sigh) but I’ll be there, reading Luann every day and wondering about Greg Evans’ high school experience. (I have a feeling the “naked-Gunther-worm-cock-story” is not an invention, but a memory seared into Evans’ brain.)

  104. Red Greenback
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#90): Might i add:
    Doc: Well, we all learned a valuable lesson!

  105. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 24th, 2011 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    Arlo & Janis — I’m trying to cut down, so I refuse to eat anything larger than a DIVAN!

    Judge Parker — Now that she’s sold the sizzle, it’s time for Constance Darling to sell the STEAK! (Or is Alan Parker more of a pork chop?)

  106. Sequitur
    February 24th, 2011 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#104): And…

    Kelly Welly: Ohh! Ohh! Can I pour the syrup?

  107. bunivasal
    February 24th, 2011 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    No wonder Mark Trail is so concerned about the environment: apparently everyone who goes near water ends up with their hair dyed the color of oil slicks.

  108. Jon the Red
    February 24th, 2011 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Spider-Man reminds me of that PC game Magicka. “I used to think Vlad was a vampire, but then he assured me he wasn’t. Boy, do I feel better!”

  109. commodorejohn
    February 24th, 2011 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    @Hairhead (#103): *shudder* I feel like I’ve committed several felonies just reading that post.

  110. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 24th, 2011 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: “She apparently was trying to walk down the driveway when she slipped and fell.” No shit! I can’t even imagine what other plausible explanations he dismissed before coming up with this glaringly obvious conclusion — although I suppose “making snow angels” had to be one of them.

    And yes, @Dr. Weird (#222), I would say that a possible broken hip would be enough to stop even a Batiukite from snarking for a couple of minutes.

  111. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 24th, 2011 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    Archie – I guess it’s a Riverdale thing that everybody there apparently decorates their surroundings with images of themselves. Reggie’s not conceited at all. He’s just a typical teenager.

    Close – Sketch artists don’t work by appearing magically on the crime scene and drawing it in progress.

    Crock – Slight Changes Theatre:
    “It’s the gayest bar in town.”
    “How gay?”
    “The cockroaches wear bras.”

  112. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 24th, 2011 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    Monty – I try not to clutter the CC up with positive comments, but the drawing in this strip often cracks me up. Fleshy, in particular, has character and humor even when he’s not doing anything in particular.

    6 – Look! It’s the Lady of Shallot! (And the clerk must be Lance.)

  113. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 24th, 2011 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    @Icebang (#y224): Always a spammer, never a bride.

    @But What Do I Know? (#10): “Yes, we’ve called off the search, but if Mark is out there we’ll find him.” The government official seems to mastered the art of sounding absolutely certain while having no idea if his promise is achievable.
    They’ll bring him in, right after bin Laden.

  114. word-doctor
    February 24th, 2011 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    @Renee J (#102):

    Here there be monsters. THAT far.

  115. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 24th, 2011 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    @Swordsmith (#64): Telemachus, Telemundo… it’s all Greek to me!

  116. ???
    February 24th, 2011 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    Yes, MT as Odysseus, Cherry as Penelope, Andy as Argus, Rusty as Telemachus, that woman and her daughter as Circe and Lyta, etc., etc., etc.

    Why did the gov. agents need MT in the first place? Would they employ an outsider, a magazine writer, to solve a diamond smuggling case?

    How does the weather change so quickly, and night become day so fast? How much time has really gone by?

    Who’s paying for Kelly’s lengthy stay at the lake/ocean?

    Is this the stooooopidest MT story yet?

  117. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 24th, 2011 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    @??? (#116):

    Is this the stooooopidest MT story yet?

    I’m pretty sure it’s not even a contender.

  118. Callidus
    February 24th, 2011 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    MT: Okay, with Mark Trail playing the role of Odysseus, does that mean that the Sunday strip will feature the noble cyclops? “The Cyclops is one of nature’s most misunderstood bipeds.” “Feasting on a diet of sheep and man flesh, the cyclops plays an important role in the ecosystem of the Greek islands.”

  119. Walker of Dog
    February 24th, 2011 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#110): I’d just assumed that Rose had fallen out of a passing blimp.

  120. A New Day
    February 24th, 2011 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    FW: Les’s life lesson for today: growing older is not about forgiveness or reconciliation, or even revenge. It’s about the endless war between resentment and smugness, each doing battle for your soul until sweet, sweet cancer finally has its say.

  121. Poteet
    February 24th, 2011 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    C’shaft — So Rose has a possible broken hip and she’s just been lying there dreamily wondering how she fell and why she can’t get up? I want some of whatever she’s been drinking.

  122. Poteet
    February 24th, 2011 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    LUANN — I found high school so emotionally challenging that I tried hard to hang around with friends who were nice to me and vice versa. This usually-sarcastic-and-critical “friendship” between Crystal and Tiffany is beyond my ken.

  123. Maggie the Cat
    February 24th, 2011 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    @Evan (#92):

    Ahahahaha!!!

  124. Katy
    February 24th, 2011 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#81): [pointing] What he said about Funky Winkerbean. That.

  125. trey le parc
    February 24th, 2011 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    S-M: I have to give the guy credit; he dresses well and ties a decent Windsor (no dimple in the knot, however) despite his freakishly long fingernails. A full set of caps and a decent haircut would go a long way toward making him look less weird than his spangly spider-suited interlocutor.

  126. Charterstoned
    February 24th, 2011 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    MT – I think the “Odyssey” interpretation fits pretty well–the line in the first panel, spoken by the guy with the really bad hairpiece, seems pretty poetic, but could have been improved a little: “Off their search the Coast Guard had to call, until the storm over the ocean passes.” For the life of me, though, I can’t imagine why there isn’t SOME sort of gigantic bird flying to the left in that last panel, where I’m also thinking we should be seeing rosy-fingered Dawn (unless Wilbur has done something with her).

  127. Dood
    February 24th, 2011 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    Are we eventually going to see Mark punch the golden fleece off somebody or something?

  128. EricF
    February 24th, 2011 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    If Mark doesn’t return to Cherry for 10 years, at the rate soap strips advance, in our time that would be… oh, never mind, I won’t live long enough to see it.

  129. gnome de blog
    February 24th, 2011 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    @??? (#116):
    Every MT story is the stooooopidest one yet. Unless someone gets chained to a log.

    I don’t understand why Andy isn’t here. You’d think he’d know something was wrong and fly his plane over from LoFo to organize the search.

  130. Crankenstank
    February 24th, 2011 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    I’m looking forward to seeing Mark shoot Cherry’s suitors full of arrows. That will be good family fun.

  131. Gal Friday
    February 24th, 2011 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    @Alice Bluegown (#30):

    MW: I think she’s got Sherwin Williams’ “Wine-Dark Sea” in glossy finish.

  132. Mars
    February 24th, 2011 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    Huh…….I thought the only chick with an island who tried to seduce Odysseus was Circe. I don’t remember a second one; nor do I remember it happening at the beginning. He meets the cyclops first, doesn’t he?

  133. Dr. Weird
    February 24th, 2011 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    Hagar

    Some misandry with your breakfast, sir? Was this guest-written by Wiley of NS?

  134. Violet
    February 24th, 2011 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    I’m trying very hard to understand the significance of Kelly Welly unbuttoning her shirt in a sparsely populated graveyard in the background of panel one. Is it supposed to be symbolism? Necrophiliac exhibitionism? What, Mark Trail, what?! Okay, I’m just going to finally admit it: this strip is too challenging for me.

  135. Baka Gaijin
    February 24th, 2011 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    @Drew Funk (#22): “Uh oh, looks like Mark has washed up on the Island of Misfit Hair.” Oh ha HA ha HA HA HA! Be seein’ ya on the float tomorrow afternoon.

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#26): “[Cul de Sac] demonstrates Civil Defense Drill against loose clowns.” Unless the drill incorporates trebuchets of flaming salmon squares, I’m not participating.

    @Doctor Handsome (#45): “I sense another Aunt May wedding in the works.” And another jealous pouty MJ sequence until an unsatisfactory climax. Sorta like I’d imagine sex with Peter Parker would be.

    @Oregonian (#59): Plate Carrier=Bulletproof vest for those fighting in the sandbox. Vest worn over the torso that can hold ceramic anti-artillery plates. The plates can be arranged in the vest for best protection and comfort.

  136. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 24th, 2011 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#129): if Andy was an Aireseer Newf, he probably would have already.

  137. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 24th, 2011 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

  138. Jim North
    February 24th, 2011 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#135): . . . you’ve imagined what sex with Peter Parker might be like? I’m . . . I’m so sorry.

  139. Red Greenback
    February 24th, 2011 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    ATTENTION mr 12 oz can (or other Andy fans out there):
    Be the first on your block to own this fine item.

  140. sully
    February 24th, 2011 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    BALD ADAM @ HOME Update:

    After a week of hilarity involving 35 year old Kojak references and other such drivel, the title character’s thinning locks are back in place as if never shaved off. What’s next? A back wax and a Brazilian? Worst comic strip currently in print, and yes, that even includes Spider-Bore and The Dinette Set.

  141. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 24th, 2011 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    Landseer Newf and stiff, khaki-clad person.

  142. Jim North
    February 24th, 2011 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    9CL: So Fernanda and the mystery dancer are doing exactly the same things that Edda and Amos are doing? Is this actually some kind of Fight Club scenario?

    Crank: “Well your broken hip obviously isn’t keeping you from the wisecracking, old woman!”

    DT: “That square chin! That nose, obviously broken and reset many times! That cylinder shaped skull! Those squinty eyes! You’re hideous!” “You’re not much of a looker yourself, Mordred.”

    FW: “That’s right, Summer. When kicking someone in the crotch, always double tap!”

    GT: “Do you think it’s funny when we lose, Verde?” “No, but I don’t think it’s a tragedy. The tragedy is that massive bundle of nose hair you’re showing off! Seriously, could you stand at a different angle when you’re trying to be threatening?”

    Phantom: Go for the eyes, kids! The eyes!

    Pluggers of the Future are still a bit leery about the auto-sorting trans-dimensional warp that’s been installed in their mailbox.

    RMMD: Dex has let the mask of obfuscating stupidity drop for just a second in the middle panel, revealing the thirty-year veteran con man of his past. Mr. Amawhatever doesn’t stand a chance now.

    SF: Okay, so that pegs Ted being approximately five years older than me. I remember all the stuff he mentions except the Marathon bars, since they were apparently discontinued in 1981, when I was two years old.

  143. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 24th, 2011 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    iz nawt Shar-pei, iz Nee, iz Neo, iz mastiff puppeh!

  144. UncleJeff
    February 24th, 2011 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    @sully (#140): Adam apparently used Extra Strength Rogaine.
    I think the new artist was just looking at a shortage of black ink and rather than run out to the store, he just omitted drawing Adam’s hair for a week’s worth of strips.
    But we can’t blame the artist. He only does contract work with Brian Bassett, who is solely responsible for the insipid storyline.

  145. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 24th, 2011 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    @sully (#140): worse than Dustin? That would take some doing. Then again, not much is worse than Dinette Set.

  146. UncleJeff
    February 24th, 2011 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    MT: “Mommy” as Circe?
    Maybe she could turn Rusty, Doc and Andy into pigs if they come looking for Mark.

  147. boojum
    February 24th, 2011 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    @Mars (#132): Perhaps when Ben Smith shot our hero in the forehead, he lost one of his eyes. Thus, Mark himself becomes the Cyclops he must escape from. To do so, he has punched himself back into hero status – thus his lying lifeless in the EMPTY boat. On to Circe’s isle!

    Bonus: from now on, Mark’s dashing Nature Punchman handsomeness will be enhanced by a sexy, sexy eyepatch. Let’s just hope his Random Bolding Syndrome has not been affected.

  148. odinthor
    February 24th, 2011 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    @Jim North (#138): I think it involves a remote and lots of Cheetos®.

  149. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 24th, 2011 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @sully (#140):

    No, the worst comic currently in print is this one:

    http://www.seattlepi.com/fun/comic.asp?feature_id=Todd

  150. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    February 24th, 2011 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    9CL: So Seth is going all papa-grizzly on Fernanda Jons? Looks like someone needs to break it to him that he’s actually straight. Now if only there were a character in this strip arrogantly self-important enough to do it… Oh, wait. That would be everyone.

    FW: “Rehabbing your…” what? Does Batiuk not want to say what relation Summer is to Les? I’m seeing a Chinatown revelation here. “She’s my daughter!” *SLAP* “She’s my lover!” *SLAP* “She’s my daughter!” *SLAP* “She’s my lover!” *SLAP* “She’s my daughter AND my lover!” *sobs*

    thorps. Why is Lini constantly grinning like an idiot, even when confronting the guy he thinks is behind the defamatory website? I’m starting to think the full name of the page is “WWW.LINIISTHERIDDLER.COM.”

    Two Fellows Who Co-Own An Establishment: There once was a man from Rangoon
    Who starred in a laughless cartoon
    With a much shorter man
    Who has much more hair than
    The other one in the cartoon.
    (It’s harder than you think to write poetry as nonspecific and unfunny as this strip!)

    MT: Those aren’t tombstones. Kelly’s tending her Pokemon. “Diglett! I choose you!”

    SF: Silly Ted. Spider-Man never foils criminals.

    6C: I dunno, but since they’re green, you’ll probably find them to the left, just past the green cantalopes, green tomatoes, green eggplant, and green rabbit heads.

  151. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 24th, 2011 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#145): I wish you two wouldn’t “sully” Julie Larson’s Dinette Set… it’s a funny strip once you get to know the characters!

  152. bats :[
    February 24th, 2011 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

  153. Chip Whittle
    February 24th, 2011 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    Dick Tracy: The shocking thing about Dr. Mordred’s face is it’s actually drawn to look like a real human being.

    Get A Life!: “Now that I put a Skype camera on my Mac, I remember that every Mac sold in the last five years had a camera to start with, so I don’t know why I bought a camera to go on top of the camera.”

    Herb and Jamaal: Rangoon, Burma. So the strip finally decided to get specific and it’s on the issue of the legitimacy of the military junta? Props for moral courage, I guess, but why this issue?

    Thatababy: Here. This is why you should be reading Thatababy. Also, in four panels it’s concentrated more of the awesomeness of kids than the last 800 years of Marvin combined, which I admit is not much of a challenge.

    Wee Pals: Oh, all right, if we’re doing gags of the 60s, how is “Asian Jewish Soul Food” supposed to be different from “Chinese food” anyway?

  154. Black Drazon
    February 24th, 2011 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @Chyron HR (#24): It’s fairly common Funkyverse medical procedure to test every and all patients for early-onset brain-eating disease. It hasn’t happened yet, but they know their odds.

  155. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 24th, 2011 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#151): they are furless Pluggers, what’s more to know?

  156. bats :[
    February 24th, 2011 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    @Charterstoned (#126): must. resist. urgent. to. watch. Caligula’s. dance. in. I. Claudius…

    @Gal Friday (#131): hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#141): now THAT is a big dog.

    @UncleJeff (#146): Lord knows, with all the misadventures that Mark has led them into, “Squeal like a pig” must sound pretty familiar to Rusty and Andy.

  157. commodorejohn
    February 24th, 2011 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#146): “Mommy” as Circe? Maybe she could turn Rusty into a hideous mutant beast-thing. OH WAIT.

  158. Esther Blodgett
    February 24th, 2011 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    @The Spectacular Spider-Brick (#150): It’s harder than you think to write poetry as nonspecific and unfunny as this strip!

    And yet you did succeed on the nonspecific part. :)

  159. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 24th, 2011 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#156): yes, yes it is. same breed as Fang from the Harry Potter movies. :-D

    The English Mastiff puppehs are might squee as well. look at dat face! whosagooddogyesyouare!

  160. Jim North
    February 24th, 2011 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#148): Funnily enough, that reminds me of a joke concerning a man who goes to the doctor because his penis has turned orange.

  161. MaryAnnTheRest
    February 24th, 2011 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#141): That’s my puppy! Well no, mine has much cuter black spots on his legs. Yay Landseers!! And yes, he totally would’ve rescued Mark by now, foiled the jewel thief, solved the mystery of the locally disappearing storm, and taught Kelly Welly to play fetch.

  162. commodorejohn
    February 24th, 2011 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    @MaryAnnTheRest (#161): Oh, teaching Kelly to play fetch isn’t the hard part – it’s getting her to let go of the stick when she’s retrieved it.

  163. black butterfly
    February 24th, 2011 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    @The Spectacular Spider-Brick (#150): The unfunny part really didn’t work out =) You know, if that poem was printed on the cover of the non-specific strip’s collection (assuming they ever existed and could be sold to someone), it could even seem funny and ironic.

  164. black butterfly
    February 24th, 2011 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    The strip, obvoiusly. The poem doesn’t need to change surroundings to looks better.

  165. Pseudo3D
    February 24th, 2011 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    Hey, I don’t know if this interests anyone, but at the community college here, they apparently have all the “Luann Health Series” pamphlets, with things like abstinence and second-hand smoke. Everyone has seen them, right?

  166. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 24th, 2011 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#155):

    Excerpt from Wikipedia:

    “[The Dinette Set] satirizes middle-class culture; its main characters are 50ish sisters Verla Darwin and Joy Penny. The comic gently pokes fun of middle-class perceptions (and misperceptions) of common, everyday issues.”

    Pluggers are blue collar, TDS is about the middle class, so the two comics are NOT the same!

  167. Sequitur
    February 24th, 2011 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#159):
    My generation knew a different Fang from Get Smart.

  168. Jim North
    February 24th, 2011 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#165): Hah, yah, seen the one with TJ of all people giving advice about abstinence.

  169. Effluvius Erratus
    February 24th, 2011 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    Sing, o muse, of the man of wood and wild,
    Oak-fisted and subtle as a bullet to the head,
    Who speaks his thoughts for all to hear
    And wonder at his phrasing weirdly bold,
    Who aftering ravaging Cherry’s well-stacked
    Tow’ring pancakes, wandered far and wide,
    Bidden by the God of Plots to seek
    The secrets of the Cravated Smith, whose
    Diamond lures in which secrets wait.
    Sing, muse, o sing of Kelly Welly
    Brain of jelly, sent by dread god Elrod,
    To foil and finagle the Man of Wood…

  170. Riff Chick
    February 24th, 2011 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    MT: Is ANYBODY in this stupid comic strip a non-brunette??

  171. Sequitur
    February 24th, 2011 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#167): You got to have the proper cookies to see the first one so if you couldn’t see Fang at #167 you can see him here!

  172. Uncle Lumpy
    February 24th, 2011 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#166):

    About a year ago I halfheartedly smacked Dinette Set and was challenged by dull_old_man to look past the off-putting visual clutter and insidey jokes and actually, y’know, read it ‘n’ stuff. So I fired up the mighty Chron, figured out who was who, and read a month or so at a sitting.

    It was weird — the first ten or so were just painful, but once I started to figure out the author’s perspective it seemed more and more like sharp observational comedy, and the last few strips were just hilarious. Later, when I went back to it, it was back to square one: a bunch of lumps talking drivel past one another in a messy drawing. Very subtle stuff, and well-executed even though I no longer get it.

  173. CanuckDownSouth
    February 24th, 2011 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#153): re: Get A Life… well, if only I *could* buy a webcam off the shelf that would work with my 8-yr-old Mac with its original OS… my mom tried and failed to find one for me as a gift (for better Skyping, of course).

  174. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 24th, 2011 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#162): *SNURK*

    after all, she’s been trying forever to get a grip on Mark’s stick.

  175. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 24th, 2011 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#172): “a bunch of lumps talking drivel past one another in a messy drawing.” This.

    The strip ran in the local deadtree for ages, it joined Cathy as the only strips that I actively refused to read. Family Tree and Argyle Suckitude were at and approaching that stage as well when the deadtree contracted its lineup in the Great Paper Purge of 2008.

  176. Pseudo3D
    February 24th, 2011 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    @Jim North (#168): Right next to me there’s “Exercise”, “Tobacco”, and “Second Hand Smoke”.

  177. Jim North
    February 24th, 2011 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#176): Careful! Exposure to that much Luann can be more dangerous than all three of those things combined!

  178. Bill Thompson
    February 24th, 2011 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Got it. The Trailiad is based on an unfinished Harryhausen adaptation of the Odyssey. That explains the giant animals and the birds that speak from their asses. It explains why the people are less lifelike than the creatures. It will end when MT returns to the Lost Forest, which is now being exploited by the diamond smugglers. He will punch them out, starting with Ben Smith.

  179. commodorejohn
    February 24th, 2011 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    @Bill Thompson (#178): Harryhausen and Mark Trail? Oh, don’t tease me like that…

  180. gnome de blog
    February 24th, 2011 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    Ted Forth remembers when Spider-Man actually foiled criminals. With Hostess fruit pies. Did they stop making them or something?

  181. Islamorada Girl
    February 24th, 2011 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    He may not be a vampire, but it’s nice to see Michael Jackson come back from the dead for a very special episode of Spider-Man.

  182. ArchieNemesis
    February 24th, 2011 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    @Digger (#80): Below is a visualization of your idea.
    Mark Trail’s Beard Dilemna

  183. But What Do I Know?
    February 24th, 2011 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

  184. Irischano
    February 24th, 2011 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    Finding Mark won’t be easy when every person in your strip has THE EXACT SAME HAIR COLOR.

  185. Irischano
    February 24th, 2011 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    Finding Mark won’t be easy when every person in the strip has THE EXACT SAME HAIR COLOR.

  186. carbunicle
    February 24th, 2011 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#49): Trailiad! Rustyssy! Sunday color sailor/pigs! Giant-sized giant giants!

  187. Effluvius Erratus
    February 24th, 2011 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    @carbunicle (#186): From what I recall, the Illiad and Odyssey are full of misogynistic epithets like “brazen bitch,” “bitch quieen,” “whore queen,” etc. I’m wondering what the Trailian equivalent would be. Bearded bastard? Hirsute heathen? Folicle-faced motherfucker?

  188. tb4000
    February 24th, 2011 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    S-M: Even here in the real world, we all know that no one ever “stops” being a vampire. The proportional naivete of a spider, indeed.

  189. spike
    February 24th, 2011 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

  190. Dood
    February 24th, 2011 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    @Effluvius Erratus (#187): Reminds me of Phil Moscowitz in What’s Up, Tiger Lily? Saracen pig! Spartan dog! Roman cow!

  191. Sequitur
    February 24th, 2011 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#180): Spidey indeed touted the fruit pie!

    They could even capture The Penguin without the use of Batman!

    And, yes. They’re still with us!

  192. Poteet
    February 24th, 2011 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    @Effluvius Erratus (#169): Yes, bravo indeed. But are you trying to drive the muse to attempt suicide?

  193. Poteet
    February 24th, 2011 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    DT — Said Dick Tracy, the man with the hideous little hands.

  194. Mustang
    February 24th, 2011 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

    MT – I’m on pins and needles about what’s happened to Mark. Oh wait — Looks like I sat down on my grandmother’s quilting project. Never mind.

  195. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 24th, 2011 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    MT: So the diamond smuggling sting was supposed to be the Trojan war? I don’t think I’ve ever been more underwhelmed.

    S4th: It wasn’t just Spidey, Ted. Seemingly all superheroes could distract criminals with Hostess goods, at least long enough to deliver them to the cops. Keep in mind that these were peak times for marijuana use.

  196. Shrug
    February 24th, 2011 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#146):

    “Mommy” as Circe? Maybe she could turn Rusty, Doc and Andy into pigs if they come looking for Mark.”

    GIANT pigs. You forgot the obligatory “giant” part.

    Of course, if the new (for some values of the word “new”) MARK TRAIL story is going to turn into the ODYSSEY, the just finished (for some values of the word “finished”) story must have been the ILIAD, with the part of the Trojan Horse stuffed with Greeks played by the bad guy’s fishing lures stuffed with diamonds. (They would have had Ben Smith smuggle in diamonds stuffed into Trojans, but while that company was willing to pay for the product placement, comic page standards and practices department objected, and in any case Mark couldn’t wrap his head about what they were supposed to be or do; fishing lures he understood.)

  197. Jamus The Bartender
    February 24th, 2011 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    Spider Man: Oh dear God….Bella the depressed girl from Twilight wouldn’t have bought this story.

  198. Sequitur
    February 24th, 2011 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

  199. Effluvius Erratus
    February 24th, 2011 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#191): So when the Punisher uses this ploy, does he put rat poison or broken glass in the fruit cakes?

  200. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 24th, 2011 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#167): Wait, that’s not Phyllis Diller’s husband!

    @Effluvius Erratus (#169): Bravo!

    @gnome de blog (#180): Lacking stamina to chase them down, but the best versions of the Fruit Pie ads I’ve seen were the “Preacher” one that originally ran in Wizard magazine, and the “Watchmen” one that’s at the bottom of this page.

  201. Jamus The Bartender
    February 24th, 2011 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Wow. Things are picking up. I know 9CL isn’t a favorite here, but I gotta say, i’m looking forward to Seth hulking out tommorow. And don’t tell me you didn’t hear that chord that would sound when Bill Bixby’s eyes went green.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujTuZBek5UM

  202. gnome de blog
    February 24th, 2011 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#191):
    Maybe if someone sent Spidey a couple of cases he’d go back to his old villain-foiling ways.

  203. Baka Gaijin
    February 24th, 2011 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#198): Unless it involves chasing clowns into wood chippers I’m not interested. Or trebuchets flinging flaming fireworks at them. That. Yes.

  204. Jason1981
    February 24th, 2011 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

    MT: Actually, the most surprising thing to me is that someone in the Trailverse seems to actually have heard about t-shirts and tank-tops. Before Cherry discovered sweatshirts, I thought all they knew were button-downs and polos.

    Next thing you know Mark might hear about these things called “braces” that could fix that gap between Rusty’s teeth (fixing his face, however..that might take a few more decades for science to figure out )

  205. Jamus The Bartender
    February 24th, 2011 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    Sally Forth: I actually remember all of that, and more. Remember “Chuckles” the sugar coated jelly candy? They just came back with that. Also, you talked about “Fruit Brute”? I think they took that off the shelves because the Wolf character looked a lot like the scary hippies asking for change on street corners in 1974. They tried bringing back the fruity cereal and re-named it Yummy Mummy, but it too was canceled. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles once had their own cereal, from the Chex people, and it had marshmallow shaped ninja weapons. Steve Urkel had Urkel-Os in the nineties.
    Oh, best of all, does anyone remember Rondo? It was a citrus soda you could only get in Northern Wisconsin until around 1983. And damn, it was good. Not too bitter, not too sweet. The only citrus soda that was better was Jones Lemon Drop, which seems to be seasonal. Did anyone else ever try Rondo? They should bring that back!

  206. Jason1981
    February 24th, 2011 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    @puguggly (#7): “I’m starting to think that the FBI, or whoever, doesn’t have a boardroom in their helicopter after all, but instead possess some kind of teleportation powers that allows them to zip back to the office any time they feel like continuing a conversation sitting down.”

    ALPHA, BEN SMITH HAS ESCAPED. RECRUIT A TEAM OF MARK TRAILS WITH PUNCH-A-TUDE.

  207. gnome de blog
    February 24th, 2011 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#201):
    You know this is all about Edda the Precious and how jealous she’ll be if someone else gets Sethy to swing from the other side of the plate.

  208. demoncat
    February 24th, 2011 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    Marmudukes smile is saying yes soon lunch drooling over adding the poor kid to his list of victims. as his owner mrs. Hitler is concern over knowing she will see another innocent eaten by her demon of a pet.

  209. Jamus The Bartender
    February 24th, 2011 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

    @Hairhead (#103):
    You think Luann’s been squicky before? Wait until Greg Evans fills an entire daily strip (many two or three) with undressing/swimsuited teen girls checking each other out. Now, in order to maintain consistency within the Luanniverse, either Tiffany is going to be shown to have knockers visibly bigger and perkier than Luann’s, or when Luann takes off her shirt she will suddenly show much greater “talent” than she has before!

    Ick! Ick! I feel icky even writing these words — (sigh) but I’ll be there, reading Luann every day and wondering about Greg Evans’ high school experience.

    We’ll all be here, Hair. We’ll suffer this together. This too shall pass.

  210. Jamus The Bartender
    February 24th, 2011 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#207): Oh, definitely. These next two weeks are gonna have catfights aplenty between this and the beauty contest over in Luann .

  211. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 24th, 2011 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#167): @Sequitur (#167):

    I’m from an even earlier generation, and the only “Fang” I recall with any clarity is “White Fang” from Soupy Sales’ TV show. This is from the Wikipedia entry on Soupy and WF:

    “…’The Biggest and Meanest Dog in the USA’, who appeared only as a giant white shaggy paw with black triangular felt ‘claws’ jutting out from the corner of the screen. Fang spoke with unintelligible short grunts and growls, which Soupy repeated back in English, for comic effect. White Fang was often the pie thrower when Soupy’s jokes bombed.”

  212. Jamus The Bartender
    February 24th, 2011 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

  213. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 24th, 2011 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#205):

    Your choice of citrus soda brands is esoteric — to say the least!

    http://www.amazon.com/Brute-Man-Rondo-Hatton/dp/B00000IYR2

  214. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 24th, 2011 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    as mentioned yesterthread and as partial inspiration of the various Chef/SouthPark posts, I’m making Salisbury Steak tonight. The smell of mushrooms in the house is overwhelming. (morel broth as the liquid!)

    *swoon*

  215. Pseudo3D
    February 24th, 2011 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    @Jim North (#177): The Secondhand Smoke one, the only one that I looked at, managed to make the smokers seem like really polite people while making Luann and her friends look like assholes. Seeing as it isn’t on the Internet, scanned, yet, I need to pick one up and show you for myself.

  216. Dr. Weird
    February 24th, 2011 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#180):

    http://tomheroes.com/Comic%20Ads/hostess%20ads/spiderman_cupcake.htm

    Here’s an ad in which MJ emasculates Peter more completely than 9CL’s Edda could ever DREAM of doing to her boyfriend.

  217. Jimmy
    February 24th, 2011 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

    I haven’t posted recently; I’ve decided to follow Mary’s lavender-scented example and stay away from the Internets for a while.
    I’m sure y’all have seen this, but just in case …

    http://www.robertsinclair.net/comic/asshole.html

  218. zerowolf
    February 24th, 2011 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

    GT: No http://www.liniisas…. is not my site. My site is http://www.GodHatesLini.com

  219. zerowolf
    February 24th, 2011 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    Josh — When did the comments section automatically start creating links if you type enter w w w. anything?

  220. Jim North
    February 24th, 2011 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#215): do eeeeeeeet

  221. Sequitur
    February 24th, 2011 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#203): You are obviously a man of discernment and sophistication. One who knows what he wants.

    We don’t ask just anyone this but you seem to be the right kind of person to invest in our gentleman’s club.

  222. littlestevie
    February 24th, 2011 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

    MT: Is Kelly fondling herself as a remembrance of the (hopefully) departed Mark, because thats the way he used to touch HER during their clandestine encounters in Mark’s shower?

  223. Sequitur
    February 24th, 2011 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#211): I spend many an hour as a child watching Soupy Sales and “White Fang” the dog where all you could see was the giant white paw. I wouild say “White Fang’s” speech pattern is much like I imagine Rusty would sound if we could hear him speak.

  224. cj
    February 24th, 2011 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

    Trail:
    If this were Judge Parker, the first two panels would be Mark’s time to go on paid hiatus until the rest of the character arcs became super dull in 3 years.

  225. archikvetch
    February 24th, 2011 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

    MT: What are ’70s era Jerry Brown and Linda Rondstadt doing in panel one?

  226. Poteet
    February 24th, 2011 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    S-M — I have a feeling this laboratory would not pass inspections for either human safety or animal welfare, and I’ll bet the research conducted therein wouldn’t make it into any reputable peer-reviewed journal. But at least the guy isn’t just whining and playing with a remote, so he’s got Spidey beat all to hell.

  227. Sequitur
    February 24th, 2011 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    @Effluvius Erratus (#199): Yes. And a few salmon squares to make sure it does the job.

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#200): Of course. Phyllis Diller’s husband, Fang. How could one forget him. Could it be because we never saw him? (Throws head back, opens mouth wide) Haw! Haw! Haaaaaw!

  228. The Ridger
    February 24th, 2011 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#94): It’s Jamarr. I tell you, it’s Jamarr. He can’t stand Lini being the go-to guy for 3-pointers.

  229. Sequitur
    February 24th, 2011 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#226): Dr. Morbius has another thing going for him. He’s not Spidey. But I guess I could say that for all of us.

    Hmm. I wonder. Is it better to be not Spidey or not Wilbur?

  230. boojum
    February 24th, 2011 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#211): Oh, yeah? Well, back when I was growing up — in the summer of Nineteen Aught Six — White Fang was the title character in Jack London’s book. And we were grateful to have it!!

    Now all of you pesky kids, get off my lawn!

  231. wossname
    February 24th, 2011 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#228): Hmm… now I’m leaning toward the idea that it’s the dumped boyfriend. Since obviously it can’t be the angry Christian, if that’s who Lini thinks it is.

  232. Poteet
    February 24th, 2011 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#229): I have to vote for not Wilbur. I’ve at least heard rumors that Spidey exists in other media incarnations where he is easier to endure. But Wilbur exists only in MW, and he is…well, we know what he is.

  233. Sequitur
    February 24th, 2011 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    @boojum (#230): {sticks toe in boojum’s yard} Hee hee hee.

  234. Sequitur
    February 24th, 2011 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#232): And Spidey eats those delicious Hostess® fried pies. While Wilbur eats salmon squares and mayo sammiches.

  235. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 24th, 2011 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#212): You’re a big help, I’ll say! I could remember “-baby,” but not “Seanbaby”! So… many… ads (following the link back to Seanbaby’s Hostess page). Ah, what a world.

  236. Joe Blevins
    February 24th, 2011 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    Zombie Ziggy: Yeah, good luck with that.

  237. This Guy
    February 24th, 2011 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

    @boojum (#230): Well, back when I was a kid, we were forced read about 97,000 books about goddamned dogs in school, 38% of which were written by Jack London and 100% of which were completely excruciating. And if I could go back in time and convince each and every one of those authors to write about something more compelling and engaging, such as rocks or particle board, I’d do it.

  238. boojum
    February 24th, 2011 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

  239. commodorejohn
    February 24th, 2011 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#237): I’ve noticed this with pretty much any older collection of books (church libraries, old folks’ houses, etc.) Seems like you could not get a book published in the ’10s-’20s if it wasn’t about a dog.

  240. Écureuil Écumant
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#239): Yeah … or horses.

  241. zerowolf
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#228): You do have a point. Jammar has a track record of throwing teammates under the bus.

  242. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#237): needz moar books about heroic Mustelidae.

  243. commodorejohn
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#240): Yup. Although I suppose this may all be just an example of the weird representation popular culture gets the further into the past it becomes, like how thrift stores are infested with Andy Williams LPs and EA sports titles for the Sega Genesis. Maybe somewhere there’s a treasure-trove of really kickass books from that period, sharing space with all the other cool stuff that everybody loved yet is bafflingly difficult to get ahold of now.

  244. zerowolf
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#237): Remember back to when I was in school, I don’t so much recall an over abundance of pooches. Though I do recall the material appearing to be specially picked to destroy any love of reading.

  245. Jamus The Bartender
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    @Effluvius Erratus (#199): I suppose it depends on who’s writing him. If it’s Garth Ennis, you don’t WANNA know what he puts in those fruit pies.

  246. commodorejohn
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

    @zerowolf (#244): That one’s pretty much a cross-generational constant. I have never encountered any assigned reading in any level of the educational system where the reader engagement wasn’t in inverse correlation to the page number.

  247. Swordsmith
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    I remember some movie or filmstrip of To Build a Fire, that I saw, not once, but multiple times PER YEAR from 7th grade all the way up thru 12th and again in freshman English in college. It was the “go to” choice of substitute teachers, but at the same time every English professor thought it was perfect to base some project around.

  248. zerowolf
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

    @Swordsmith (#247): Anytime I as forced to read “To Build A Fire” I thought, “give me a match.”

  249. zerowolf
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#246): My Comp 1 professor thought the literary world revolved around Virginia Woolf. It was suppose to be “stream of consciousness storytelling.” But I always thought of it as stream of unconsciousness storytelling because it was so dreadfully boring.

  250. Sequitur
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    @boojum (#238): You may find this hard to believe but that’s the same thing my psychiatrist said to me when I told him that the anomaly in my space sucked catus juice at a rate equivalent to that of a water hog.

    I gat.

  251. CanuckDownSouth
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    #244, 246 et al… the first novel we were assigned was “The Hobbit”. I liked it and then for the heck of it read LOTR twice in jr high/ high school. However, I’d heard about the ad nauseam analysis books were subjected to and I read it preemptively the summer beforehand :) Now, all the “message” books and the like – ick.

  252. This Guy
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#246): Not everything we had to read in my education was dreadful, really. We did Watership Down in 9th grade–I’d already read it, natch, but it’s great any time. My teacher couldn’t pronounce the Lapine names for shit, and she also couldn’t pronounce some of the English names for shit (is it hard to see that “Nuthanger” is nut-hanger and not noo-thanger?), but it was a nice time. The Shakespeare was pretty good–I still laugh about how people keep holding up Romeo and Juliet (the characters) as an ideal romance. Nonsense. We did most of The Crucible in 11th grade (we were supposed to do the whole thing, but my teacher that year was a useless old hag who couldn’t shut the hell up about her own life long enough to teach us the curriculum), followed by Huckleberry Finn. There was a lot of dross, but I beat them by continuing to read voraciously to this very day.

    We really did do a shocking amount of books about dogs, though, and most of them were ultimately dead (putting them out of my misery, but not nearly soon enough.) I guess that in the minds of many who design English curricula, “KIDS LOVE DOGS” and “KIDS CAN’T SPOT EMOTIONALLY-MANIPULATIVE TREACLE” are enshrined as immutable laws of the universe.

  253. Robin Stinson
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    If Mark loses his memory (and I’m pretty sure he will), I wonder if he’ll think his name is “Buddy” like the time he lost his memory in the mid-90s.

  254. Swordsmith
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    Found what I presume is the movie I saw all those times; looks like it was made in 1969 and was 20 minutes long, which meant it could be fit into a single 50 minute “hour” after a sub took roll (which of course always took forever) and basically allowed the sub to do nothing at all for his money. Surprised Big Nate hasn’t mentioned it during their “harass the sub” arc.

  255. Felix
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    On Mark Trail:

    It would be really interesting if the boat actually contained Mark’s corpse. A lot could be said about nature by having Mark return his body to the earth.

    This would make room for a young Rusty to overcome his tendencies to emotional devasion whenever one of his dogs runs off.

  256. Anonymous
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    @Effluvius Erratus (#169): Great one. Homeric.

  257. Homer
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

  258. gnome de blog
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#228):
    It’s Parker. The site showed up right after Lini advised his girlfriend to dump him. He would have done better with the barky stick.

  259. Austria
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

    Arch: I love how there’s a giant picture of winking Archie on the wall. It’s the little things that make me like this strip.

    Blond: I giggled.

    reFOOB: Hey, lady, you’re the one that asked.

    Luann: Y’know, I used to think I wanted a character in my comics that embodied all the snots I went to school with. Now I see this is a mistake. Thank you, Luann, for nipping that in the bud.

    MW: “Aren’t you going to eat anything?”
    “I can has cheezburger? LOL!”

    MG&G: I laughed. Wow.

    PBS: Beautiful.

    RMMD: DAT MOUF

    SF: Pokemon cereal. The box was holo and they had marshmallows shaped like Pikachu, Bulbasaur, Charmander, and…I want to say Jigglypuff. Pokemon poptarts. They came with little figurines. I still have mine. Pokemon macaroni. I could go on.

    S-M: No, no, no, see, he’s a VEGETARIAN vampire! Put him in the sunlight, he’ll sparkle.

  260. Pseudo3D
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#252): I love talking about the horrible, horrible books I read in school. Mostly because there’s the actual book, and how the teacher forces his or her interpretation down one’s throat.

    Some went from bad to worst with this (A Separate Peace being the golden example), and some were just annoying (Fahrenheit 451 wasn’t meant to be about censorship…)

    Seabiscuit was almost universally reviled.

  261. CanuckDownSouth
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#252): My education did miss out on the dog books – the closest I can think of was a novel where a 19th-century preschool-aged boy gets lost in a storm and ends up living with a badger for most of a year. We had dumb stuff about teens adjusting to some change in circumstances, a grandparent dying and the like, some boring classics, and some bright spots of engaging work by Shakespeare, Orwell, and Moliere.

    But I would have *loved* treacle instead of some of the things foisted on us. Sartre was wrong: Hell isn’t other people, it’s reading the experimental novel form called “nouveau roman” where each chapter employed a different nonsensical verb tense and the characters’ backstories kept changing – there was a mannequin-> androgynous woman-> other (male) protagonist-> mannequin (maybe) while there was a job – nope, a conspiracy – wait! maybe it’s an illusion…

  262. Pseudo3D
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

    Thursday evening leftovers!

    Archie – There’s giant leeches coming out of his ears!

    Curtis – Leopard print underwear?! Um…where did you get that idea?

    FC- Holy $hit, Jeffy just grew up to Billy’s age!

    H&L – “Looks more like you put Trixie in the Cuisinart, Mom.”

    Marv – If it wasn’t for the poop “jokes”, this is probably what Marvin would be like: blantatly unfunny.

  263. Donkey Hotey
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

    @Hairhead (#103): If it involves ogling breasts, I’m not sure how Greg Evans’ high school experience was any different from any other boy’s.

    @Callidus (#118): “More information about Nobody can be found on the internet.”

    @Effluvius Erratus (#169): Now THAT’S epic!

    @This Guy (#237): et. al. – As a former high school, now middle school, English teacher, I have to point out that the reason the short stories forced down all our throats were always B-list (or worse) has much to do with royalties and copyrights. Textbook publishers, greedy bastards that they are, aren’t content with charging school districts $50 a copy; they also fill those overpriced copies with material on which they’ve negotiated minuscule royalties. (And sometimes they’ve even bowdlerized the originals. I was reading through a textbook on my own time one summer and thought something seemed different from my own middle school memory; turns out the newer textbook had deleted Ray Bradbury’s reference to a lighthouse, from the point of view of a fish, as a “God-light.”)

  264. Donkey Hotey
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#261): That badger story was Incident at Hawk’s Hill.

  265. This Guy
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

    @Donkey Hotey (#263): Yeah, no doubt. Given the retail prices charged for textbooks that are little more than thinner-than-average trade paperbacks, not much would surprise me about the practices of their publishers.

  266. Gal Friday
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:43 pm [Reply]

    DT: If Mark Trail can channel The Odyssey, then I think the Dick Tracy folks are channeling the novels of Samuel Beckett. To add to Murphy, Molloy, Malone Dies, they now offer Mordred. Because Dick and Mordred can’t go on, but they do go on.

  267. CanuckDownSouth
    February 25th, 2011 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    @Donkey Hotey (#264): Oh, yeah, that sounds like it. I just remember a dreadful load of detail about badger dens, and I could already tell when they’d picked a book for regional rep rather than because it was any good.

  268. Maggie the Cat
    February 25th, 2011 at 12:31 am [Reply]

    @This Guy (#252): @Pseudo3D (#260): @CanuckDownSouth (#261):

    We were forced to read “The Bear” in 6th grade. We got to vote for the class novel and my classmates assumed that since it was made into a Disney snoozetacular that it must be a jolly good read! (I voted for Lois Lowry’s “Number the Stars” which is damned fine children’s novel, btw.)

    If you were lucky enough to be spared this misery, “The Bear” slooooowly follows 2 weird, grizzled hunters as they track a non-speaking bear and a tagalong cub through the Canadian wilderness. Yeah, I said a “non-speaking bear”. Had the bears talked, it would’ve been minutely interesting, but let’s just say there’s a devastating shortage of convo in this story… lots of just following the non-speaking bears around as they forage for grubs. To this day, I don’t think there’s been a book that I loathe more.

  269. boojum
    February 25th, 2011 at 12:40 am [Reply]

    On school reading: It’s odd. I read constantly as a kid, but I seem to remember almost nothing we were assigned to read in school. Maybe the readers were as bad as everyone else says, and I just forgot them as soon as I read them. (I would read the whole book as soon as they were handed out.) But it seems to me we were given more freedom pretty early on to choose our own stuff. I remember a 7th grade teacher giving me The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings to read, as she thought I would enjoy them. And I remember a lot of poetry, from about the 7th grade (“Evangeline,” “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner,” “Ivanhoe,” etc.) on. My brother and sister were both older, and they would share things with me they were reading. When our teacher asked us if any of us had heard of “Ivanhoe,” I startled her by raising my hand and saying, “Yes. Ivanhoe is the most boring book in the world.” Because that’s what my sister had said…..

  270. Poteet
    February 25th, 2011 at 12:44 am [Reply]

    @This Guy (#237): I have nothing against dogs. But that’s no thanks to Walt Disney, whose weekly Sunday night program featured dog story after dog story after dog story to the point that my little sibs and I would groan when we saw another one coming. Blech.

  271. boojum
    February 25th, 2011 at 12:49 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#270): I feel your pain. I saw (dating myself here) Old Yeller when it came out in the theaters. I’ve never been able to watch it again.

  272. Poteet
    February 25th, 2011 at 12:49 am [Reply]

    @boojum (#269): I don’t remember much about assigned reading either. I do remember scaring myself out of my wits by reading LORD OF THE FLIES and THE COLLECTOR when I was about eleven, even though my mother told me not to read them. I wonder if that’s one reason I’m such a weenie about horror movies now.

  273. TheDiva
    February 25th, 2011 at 1:03 am [Reply]

    @Donkey Hotey (#263): Well, that would explain why the same half-dozen or so short stories kept showing up in my English classes from seventh grade onwards. There’s only so many times you can talk about why the townspeople stone a randomly selected person each year or which door the prisoner picks or why that dumb bint didn’t fess up to losing her friend’s necklace before you cease to gain any educational benefit from it.

    My personal bete noire for novels thrust upon us by the school system was Lord of the Flies. I tried to get through it, Lord knows I did, but every single time I was bored out of my skull by the time they got to arguing over the conch shell. Plus, as a shy and socially awkward girl I wasn’t particularly shocked by the idea that boys my age could be evil little bastards.

  274. commodorejohn
    February 25th, 2011 at 1:27 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#273): Oh lordy, “The Lottery” has to be the most over-printed and over-discussed thing in the entire “obligatory school reading” catalogue. I mean, for crying out loud, what is there to discuss? The moral…lesson…allegory…thing is about as subtle as a brick to the head. You couldn’t miss it.

  275. Poteet
    February 25th, 2011 at 1:28 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#273): Fascinating — while Golding’s book bored you out of your skull, it left me whimpering and having nightmares. It was useful, however, as an incentive to make sure my glasses were in a safe place when I went to bed.

  276. Sgt. Stoned
    February 25th, 2011 at 1:32 am [Reply]

    MT: Jack Elrod as James Joyce? Far out.

  277. Poteet
    February 25th, 2011 at 1:36 am [Reply]

    Since it’s late at night, I will say that the worst thing that school ever did to me, even worse than certain aspects of phys ed, was force me to watch perky insanely-cheery movies about how much FUN it is to become a woman. Did boys ever have to undergo a similar ordeal? Somehow I doubt it.

  278. bats :[
    February 25th, 2011 at 1:43 am [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#153): Thatababy is a new favorite. (And there was even a bat in the Wednesday strip! Woohoo!)

    @Effluvius Erratus (#169): this is wonderful. I hope that I can quote you.

  279. Vinnie
    February 25th, 2011 at 1:49 am [Reply]

    9CL: Wha? The Brooke McEldowney I know would never use such a commonplace word such as “dude”! Who are you, mystery beefwit, and what have you done to Brooke? Most importantly, can you stay for a little longer? I can give you more chloroform.

    JP: “B-b-but she’ a female! They’re not supposed to be competent! Smug… worldview… crumbling…”

  280. Uncle Lumpy
    February 25th, 2011 at 1:50 am [Reply]

    Steinbeck’s The Pearl. Ungh.

  281. Bill Thompson
    February 25th, 2011 at 1:56 am [Reply]

    When did Mark Trail turn into Wonder Woman? Not that I’m complaining. I just hope that Mark Trail’s amnesia lets Diana persuade him that he isn’t a boring klutz. “You have the Fist of Justice!” she says. “Use it more than once every six months!”

  282. commodorejohn
    February 25th, 2011 at 1:57 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#277): You mean stuff like The Home Economics Story?

    “Iowa State College – the high school after high school!”

  283. heynoni
    February 25th, 2011 at 2:05 am [Reply]

    MT: “Don’t give up. If Mark is out there, we’ll find him! And when we do locate the body, you can have it stuffed. Why, he’ll be as stiff, cold and unyeilding as ever, just like old times.”

  284. Poteet
    February 25th, 2011 at 2:11 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#282): HAR! And alas, no.

  285. CanuckDownSouth
    February 25th, 2011 at 2:14 am [Reply]

    I made the mistake of quickly reading Great Expectations because the Big Reveal was so bleeding obvious after the first chapter that I just wanted to check, and was assigned David Copperfield while the rest of the class finished GE. And I agree with the critic who said that Dickens was paid by the word and it shows.

    oh, right – there are comics…

    How can Wilbur tell whether or not Dawn looks unwell? *Everyone’s* eyes and hair slide all over their skulls in this world. I’d say her hair looks greasy and limp but it actually has more body than the usual painted-on mess.

    I’d complain about the medical hack job developing in MT (I’m sure he’s amnesiac and has no ID), but it can’t come close to topping Illness Of The Puppy.

    *sigh* count on Edison Lee to take an enormous engineering achievement and turn it into some lame contracts joke. I assume the artist’s secret agenda is to use his obnoxious characters to turn all kids off of science.

  286. Poteet
    February 25th, 2011 at 2:21 am [Reply]

    2/25

    BETWEEN FRIENDS — You’re the one with no spine at all, lady. Soon you’ll have to give him a car and a credit card.

    JP — It’s taking far longer to talk about the marketing campaign than it took to write the book.

    PHANTOM — Diana is all alone in a hut in the middle of nowhere, and I don’t recall her having any weapons. I hope old Stripey Butt isn’t being overly optimistic.

    ZITS — Desperately trying to forget third panel…desperately trying to forget third panel…

  287. Poteet
    February 25th, 2011 at 2:26 am [Reply]

    2/25

    DT — Dick is being threatened with death? Gee, that’s new.

    FC — All four melonheads fit on one bathroom scale? This is one of the creepiest FCs ever.

    MW — Dawn, you can actually move out and live on your own. The laws and customs of this country allow that now!

  288. Walker of Dog
    February 25th, 2011 at 2:27 am [Reply]

    2/25 strips:

    FC: Kids, Mommy is way ahead of you. She’s on the Chicago Mercantile Exchange website checking the latest pork belly prices. More cookie dough, Billy?

    FW: It’s all Bull can do to keep from punching himself. Yet another character cursing his sadistic Creator.

    JP: If the whole country promises in advance to read Alan’s book, would you shut up about it?!

    MW: Conversation, a sinister internet device, and a beverage – Dawn’s brain can’t manage all that AND avoid walking into a door.

    Phan: All guests and abandoned wives of The Phantom stay at the lovely Shack of Abusive Plot Contrivances.

    RMMD: I am really enjoying Tony the Swindler. Hope he stays around for a while.

    DT: I thought Mordred was going to lull Dick into dozing off. Now he’s trying to frighten him to sleep?

  289. greghousesgf
    February 25th, 2011 at 2:29 am [Reply]

    I’m normally very open-minded about transvestites but Curtis wanting to wear leopard panties is just one big bag of squick.
    also, that kid in Wee Pals is essentially saying “dumplings dumplings”. Not much of a punchline, really.

  290. un malpaso
    February 25th, 2011 at 2:39 am [Reply]

    Mr. Trail:
    I worked with Odysseus.
    I knew Odysseus.
    You’re no Odysseus.

  291. gnome de blog
    February 25th, 2011 at 2:56 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#287):

    MW — Dawn, you can actually move out and live on your own. The laws and customs of this country allow that now!

    Not is Santa Royale. Adrian Cory was 30+ years old and an MD and she had to get married to leave Dear Old Dad.

  292. KarMann
    February 25th, 2011 at 3:20 am [Reply]

    2/25 SM: Umm, maybe because he just blatantly lied to your face when he said he had no traces of vampirism, Sherlock?

  293. KarMann
    February 25th, 2011 at 3:24 am [Reply]

    2/25 GT: So, you don’t like him because he “waste[s] [his] God-given ability,” but thinking that your faith might have anything to do with it is just anti-Christian prejudice. Right. Got it.

  294. KarMann
    February 25th, 2011 at 3:26 am [Reply]

  295. KarMann
    February 25th, 2011 at 3:28 am [Reply]

    2/25 MG&G: Oh, that’s not Dr. Jeff!, is it?

  296. Yr Obt Servt
    February 25th, 2011 at 3:29 am [Reply]

    MT: I was thinking of a different literary allusion when the strong likelihood of amnesia came forth- another fisticuffs-capable icon with a comma of black hair across his manly brow…Bond, James Bond, 007, who fell into the ocean with an amnesia causing head injury at the climax of the novel version of ‘You Only Live Twice”. He is rescued by a Japanese fisherwoman who uses the amnesia to convince 007 to become her lover.

    Thus ends the sole connection between MT and James Bond. That any such connection exists at all makes me wonder about the whole 2012 thing. Eerie.

  297. KarMann
    February 25th, 2011 at 3:31 am [Reply]

    2/25 Zits: I’m actually with Scott/Borgman on this one. I need a shower.

  298. KarMann
    February 25th, 2011 at 3:33 am [Reply]

    @KarMann (#297): Oops, I meant to say: I literally need a shower. Of course.

  299. Another Kiwi
    February 25th, 2011 at 4:00 am [Reply]

    Mark is the new “Number 6″

  300. Alfred E. Neuman
    February 25th, 2011 at 5:50 am [Reply]

    Friday
    Curtis— Yesss! Our fondest hopes for Barry have come true. However, I suppose Curtis now will have to break into a hardware store to find the tools to rescue him before the tide comes in…

    DT— Why is Dick pointing the gun away from Mordred? It’s not logical. On further reflection, why do I continue to expect any logic from this strip?

  301. John C Fremont
    February 25th, 2011 at 7:06 am [Reply]

    @Another Kiwi (#299): “I am not a number! I am a free man!”

  302. KarMann
    February 25th, 2011 at 8:13 am [Reply]

    @#301: That’s what you think, #301.

  303. Comcis Fan
    February 25th, 2011 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    MW: “No, this weekend’s out. How about never–is never good for you?” (with apologies to Robert Mankoff).

    S4th: Speaking of the old days, Ted Forth, panel 2, resembles a girl’s high school PE teacher, circa 1976.

    FW: That must be some health plan they have for the Westview High faculty. If you or your family members get injured, the only in-network physical therapist is Bull Bushka. But he does make house calls.

  304. Little Guy
    February 25th, 2011 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    Curtis: (Checks bottle of chilled champange in fridge) And this is bad because….?

    Big Nate: If this bleeds over to next week about her Rule of Terror, then she’s just being a dick.

    MT: Lena Hyena and most of the Dogpatch womenfolk approve.

    TruSpidey: She works as a waitress at Merlotte’s.

    MG&G: bats:[ has been busy.

    S4th: Wait… they STILL exist? I thought anything associating candy and carcinogens was banished from the American landscape. I still miss the Candy Cigars from Fannie Farmer.

  305. gleeb
    February 25th, 2011 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    I look forward to a Sunday strip about the life-cycle of Rover.

    A 3-G: At heart, Margo is a 13-year-old girl, and can’t help it.

    ‘bean: So they’re going with “incompetent bully” instead of “medical professional” for Summer’s physiotherapy? I wish them all the luck they deserve for that decision.

    Gil: Still , that doesn’t mean he doesn’t dislike Lini. He’s gotta remain on the list of suspects.

    H&L: Lois knows it isn’t permanent. Soon her place will be taken by some “roadside” girl.

    Judge Parker’s Hotel Room!: Over a million and a half people live in Manhattan. All of them know her.

    Pluggers: …also move their lips when mumbling to themselves that they are the Chosen Instrument and that the Time of Punishment is at hand.

  306. ArchieNemesis
    February 25th, 2011 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    @Gal Friday (#266): Of course you are right, Dick Tracy has become a Samuel Beckett play. Here’s a line from Waiting for Godot: “”I don’t seem to be able to depart.”

  307. tb4000
    February 25th, 2011 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    9CL: I always suspected McEldoweny was going to showcase why Seth was such a big dude, now I guess we’ll see. Unless he pulls a bait and switch and gets his ass handed to him.

  308. Anonymous
    February 25th, 2011 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#278): Sure thing. The Trailiad is a days-old part of the oral tradition, after all.

  309. Efflvius Erratus
    February 25th, 2011 at 9:31 am [Reply]

  310. Effluvius Erratus
    February 25th, 2011 at 9:32 am [Reply]

  311. Prisoner
    February 25th, 2011 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#301): I am not a number; I am a free man !

  312. Plinko Commie
    February 25th, 2011 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    Feb. 25 comix

    Curtis:*car sliding out of control*
    Where’s Barry?
    *WHOOMP*
    There it is.

    Family Circus: “Mommy, guess how much children you have?” “Not enough to meet my supplier’s deadline unless you shut your yap and start eating that lard like I told you!”

    Hi and Lois: Never fear, Mom. My love for you is temporal at best.

    Zits: Plus points for skewering the misuse of “literally”. Minus points for making us stare at Pierce’s anus.

    Crankshaft: Concussions are more common than contusions in the Funkyverse. But you already knew that.

  313. teenchy
    February 25th, 2011 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#165): Luann preaching abstinence? Fuck that.

    No, really. It does at least explain the squicky slap-and-tickle that is the backbone of the strip.

  314. Leo McKern
    February 25th, 2011 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    @Prisoner (#311): A-HA-HA-HA-HA!

  315. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 25th, 2011 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    Candorville: life is to short for this. I quit.

    Lio: standard evil cat joke, or a sly dig at the US refusal to sign the Ottawa Treaty?

    AD: old joke is old. prehistoric, even.

    HotC: nice try, Dean. also, *squick*

    GT: oooo, a plot twist! God-power forward isn’t a hater!

    MG&G: WIN!!!!!!! *ROFLs*

    Ghost-who-returns: Hell-LO Nurse!

    6Cx: knitting needle fail.

    Zits: one for the Didactic Duo. *insert hot redhead joke here*

  316. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 25th, 2011 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#261): I read the RDC version of that as a kid.

    Ivenhoe rocks. being thread-jumped doesn’t.

  317. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 25th, 2011 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    It’s odd, but I don’t recall disliking any of the books I read in school. Great Expectations, Hot Rod, The Pearl, The Octopus… must have been something wrong with me, I guess.

  318. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 25th, 2011 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    Oh yeah, and A Separate Peace too.

  319. bats :[
    February 25th, 2011 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#280): And The Red Pony. And don’t forget the Old Man and the Sea

  320. Edgy DC
    February 26th, 2011 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    Forget Trail. Cherry has Scott Glenn to comfort her.

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