The Comics Curmudgeon

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Blue loon

Beetle Bailey, 2/6/07

Those of you who read Beetle Bailey in black in white in the newspaper, as God intended us to do, were spared from the horrifying and baffling sight of an entirely blue Lt. Fuzz. I mean, forget changing races; our blond-haired junior officer seems to have changed species. The only even vaguely reasonable explanation I can come up with is that this is some kind of comics coloring sweatshop version of day-for-night filming. Some movies that don’t have the budget to properly light night scenes shoot during the day, then run the film through a blue filter to look more like nighttime. (Fans of MST3K will remember Attack Of The The Eye Creatures, a film in which this technique was implemented particularly ineptly.) Apparently someone down at King Features coloring thought that giving Lt. Fuzz a shiny white face would be all wrong for this ill-lit situation, and the only color in the limited palate available that vaguely conveyed a sense of shadowing was this weird blue.

Those of you who read Beetle Bailey in black in white in the newspaper were not distracted by this puzzle from the “punchline,” which doesn’t make a damn bit of sense no matter how much you look at it, so we online types got let off pretty easy.

Curtis, 2/6/07

Some have claimed that my Curtis geography lesson yesterday was misplaced, and that the idea of “Compton Kaheem” being from Philly is actually part of the joke. I’m still dubious, but I am sharp enough to realize that this strip is setting us up for a punchline tomorrow. Still, almost everything about it is stunningly loathsome. The elder Wilkins’ creepy mechanical laugh (not the first time it’s appeared in this strip), his little sing-songy invitation to his 11-year-old son to watch a little soft-core human degradation, said 11-year-old’s clench-fistedly eager anticipation of same with his dad sitting there behind him, the very idea of a “syrup chapter” of the venerable Girls Gone Wild franchise … I’m frankly having a hard time thinking of anything that might happen tomorrow that could redeem this, except perhaps the entire human race being wiped out by an asteroid.

Mark Trail, 2/6/07

Ah, Mark! For a man so in touch with the natural world, you sure do talk like an android. I’d love to hear Mark talk about some fishing stories. “There was this one fishing story, I used to tell it to Cherry when we were first dating. Rusty loves that story! His little face just lights up and he says, ‘Tell it again, Mark, tell it again!’ Excitable little kid. Yup, that sure is a great story. Then there’s this other fishing story I like to tell…”

The Phantom, 2/6/07

For those of you not in the know, “Bandar medicine” is the Phantom and Guran’s little code phrase for roofies. I have no idea how they think that’s going to help, unless “ill” is code for something I don’t even want to know about.

Gil Thorp, 2/6/07

Speaking of people going, having gone, or being about to go wild, those boys don’t look like they’re going anywhere near wild in panel two. There are entirely too many clothes, for one thing. And not nearly enough syrup.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 6, 2007 at 10:41 pm and is filed under Beetle Bailey, Curtis, Gil Thorp, Mark Trail, Phantom.

238 responses to “Blue loon”

Charles Brubaker
February 6th, 2007 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

Whoa. Lt. Fuzz is a Smurf!

I don’t get “Curtis” much…what syrup edition?
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
February 6th, 2007 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

Nothing like a song parody to start things off. I hope…

If you ever watch sports down in old Milford
Every hairstyle’s strange and they’re drawn just like Dairy Queen-o
DQ Soft Serve we know…
Someone walked up to me with a huge forehead
And a squared-off chin and metal curls: it’s called Gil Thorp
D-T-G-T Gil Thorp

Well I’m not the world’s most artistic guy
But the way they’re drawn, no perspective or line…
Oh no Gil Thorp
D-T-G-T Gil Thorp…

Well I’m not dumb but I can’t understand
Which player is a woman and which one is a man
Oh no Gil Thorp
D-T-G-T Gil Thorp…

Well, there’s random panels, no source of light
Lettering not quite as high as wide
Lisa Wyche picked me up and sat me on her knee
Nearly forced me to the Bucket – God knows what that means

Well I’m not the world’s most artistic guy
But do these artists have eyes who make such alien guys
Yep, it’s Gil Thorp
D-T-G-T Gil Thorp…

I pushed it away
I clicked some other link
I hit Alt Left-Arrow
Then I looked at Gil and Gil at me!

Well that’s the way that I want it to stay
And I always want it to be that way: I’m in Gil Thorp
La-la-long live Gil Thorp!
Girls will be boys and boys will be girls
It’s a mixed up muddled up shook up world – that’s right, Gil Thorp
La-la-long live Gil Thorp!

Well I lost my mind from this comic strip
It burnt all my brain cells to a cind’ry pip
But Gil Thorp smiles with his malformed hand
And says, “Now you’re trapped in this ‘comic’ land!”

Now I’m not the world’s most well-drawn man
But I know what I am, I’m a Milford fan
And so is Gil Thorp
Googoo gaga Gil Thorp
Googoo gaga Gil Thorp…
(repeat until arrival of guys in white suits with large butterfly nets)
Pozzo
February 6th, 2007 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

Phantom — Well, he’d have no reason to bid us farewell on his way INTO this world, now would he?
Jorge2090
February 6th, 2007 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

BB – Lt. Fuzz is in the road company of the Blue Man Group!
Pozzo
February 6th, 2007 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

And Lisa Wyche continues the string of Milford High students whose gender you’d never be able to determine without the aid of a caption-suppplied pronoun.
Mike P
February 6th, 2007 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

Last week, a bunch of guys in “Phantom” also inexplicably turned blue. Also, what the heck is a “syrup chapter”?
Natural Medicine (of Humor) Man
February 6th, 2007 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

Lisa Wyche also scores “early and often” at The Bucket.
Poteet
February 6th, 2007 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

Gaah! Gaah! It’s (DT)GT again! I’m gonna have to find some kind of special protective lenses to put on before I come here, because my brain is very allergic to whatever this strip is trying to do.
Marty
February 6th, 2007 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

Looks like Beetle has taken a break from his abusive relationship with Sarge to indulge in autoerotic asphyxiation instead. The resulting lack of oxygen has rendered him not only blue, but also incapable of making decisions.
Pozzo
February 6th, 2007 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

No doubt the Walker Conglomerate was paying belated (though not by their standards) tribute to the 1960s grunge classic “Green Fuzz,” but the colorist got it wrong.
Lorinne
February 6th, 2007 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

Lisa Wyche is about to crush her diorama of the mens’ team, represented by white paper dolls, and the referee tries to stop the rampage.

Luckliy, the paper dolls may be saved when the UFO ahead collects the both of them. *Now* who’s gonna be crushed?
Kenny
February 6th, 2007 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

the Bird in panel 2 of Mark Trail is talking; he seems to pick up where Mark “Trails” off – he really is in touch with nature.
Foobar
February 6th, 2007 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

“Lisa Wyche orates earnestly and stoically against Central…”

This is truely a disturbing Curtis, but, God help me, I love this strip.
Artist Formerly Known as Ben
February 6th, 2007 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

Yeah, when I commented earlier today on GT using the “boys-gone-wild” thing, I hadn’t yet read Curtis. It’s going to take a long long time to get the vileness out of my system. But at least it’s the “syrup” edition, and not the “marshmallow fluff” edit.
stinky pete
February 6th, 2007 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

The syrup chapter was discussed ad nauseum in the last thread. And Josh, congratulations for getting it up before midnight once again!
Dingo
February 6th, 2007 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

I fear for the little white silhouettes that are supposed to be bleacher bums in Gil Thorp. Either the artist cannot draw Lisa Wyche in relation to the court or she’s the 50ft tall gender-ambiguous woman.
Aerin
February 6th, 2007 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

I know the talking animals in Mark Trail are usually pretty random, but holy crap. That panel reminded me very strongly of the gossip sequence of Finding Nemo. I’m almost disappointed that Mark’s fishing story isn’t going to be told by passing it along from one animal to another.
Hero120499
February 6th, 2007 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

Great. Now I’m going to have to stay up until well past midnight when the internet gnomes switch the comics over to the next day’s just to find out what the HELL a syrup edition of Girls Gone Wild is! Damn!
Foobar
February 6th, 2007 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

9 Marty- That’s Lt. Fuzz, not Beetle. It matters so much.
Trilobite
February 6th, 2007 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

What Lt. Flip says: “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

What Lt. Flip means: “We’ve been a couple for how many years, and you still don’t know what kind of music I like? After I just gave you the best erotic asphyxiation experience of your life? I hope you like the couch, Fuzz, because that’s where you’re sleeping tonight. And probably for the rest of the week. I thought you loved me, man.”
Trotzenbonnie
February 6th, 2007 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

The only thing that’s even mildly amusing about Curtis is GGW in VHS format. Dad must have had that thing communing with the dust balls under his bed for years. Other than that, I just don’t get it.
Artist Formerly Known as Ben
February 6th, 2007 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

#9, That’s not Beetle, it’s Lt Peachfuzz. Although I could see him being into autoerotic asphyxiation too.

Of course if he finished the sentence with a hearty “smurfity smurf” that wouldn’t be a surprise either.
adlithium
February 6th, 2007 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

I don’t see what’s so weird about a dad wanting to watch some porn with his son. It’s what happens all the time here at our house.
David Bruggeman
February 6th, 2007 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

A far better Curtis punchline can be found, as usual, on another strip – Sunday’s Watch Your Head.

http://www.comics.com/wash/watch/archive/watch-20070204.html
teddytoad
February 6th, 2007 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

I know it’s beating a dead horse to bring this up, but I really can’t understand the men’s basketball player ‘heading to the bucket’ ‘in a little bit’ as anything other than a precursor to masturbation. Lisa’s early, and also often scoring has apparently bewyched him.
the denstress
February 6th, 2007 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

The boys from Brokeback mountain always went “fishing” too, Mark Trail. ‘Nuf said.
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
February 6th, 2007 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

#15: Amber thanks him too.
Martin
February 6th, 2007 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

It looks like Curtis’ dad went to the Dick Tracy School of How to Hold Small Objects.
Gabe
February 6th, 2007 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

You also left out that LaCucuracha did a GGW joke today. Then you probably don’t read it, which is probably smart of you.

Still, the concept of THREE comic strips making THE SAME PORN JOKE is kinda whacky.
Gabe
February 6th, 2007 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

I’m pretty sure going to the bucket implies anal sex. With which sex is up to your preference.
Robert
February 6th, 2007 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

The guy in the third panel of Gil Thorpe appears to have had his face partially bisected by a laser beam or sharp sword. That, or he’s carrying around one of those face masks on a stick out-of-frame.

Either way, it’s kind of a weird thing to see at a girl’s basketball game.
jordan
February 6th, 2007 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

Curtis never fails to annoy me.
i wanted to comment on this one:
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/fun/curtis.asp?date=20070204

the teacher somehow thinks that break dancing wasn’t an important acheivement. Maybe if she checked she would understand the importance of Breaks (or b-boying) as one of the cornerstones of hip hop culture. along with MCing, DJing, urban art, beatboxing, “droppin’ science,” political activism, fashion, slang, and double dutching it orginated as a movement of empowerment.

many say that b-boying originated in the martial art Capoiera which was a way for Brazilian slaves to teach each other self-defence disguised as a dance.

I don’t understand Ray Billingsley’s hatred of hip hop culture -it’s pretty obvious that he just sees it as crap with no artistic or cultural merit.
Francis
February 6th, 2007 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

“Boys gone wild — the bucket chapter”.
Charles
February 6th, 2007 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

You see, Lt. Fuzz got so stressed out whether he should go to a rap concert and pretend to be a punk or if he should go to a symphony and act all sophisticated that he actually…. became a Smurf? Logic is becoming very irrelevant nowdays.
Christopher
February 6th, 2007 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

Speaking of break-dancing, I had no idea that doing the robot was the key to excellent basketball playing.

I guess Lisa Wyche can teach us all a thing or two.

Apparently the joke in Beetle Baily is that the vaguely Italian looking guy hates all music, from the enduring classics whose popularity over the centuries has proven their genius, to cutting edge music that reflects the soul of modern America.

Or maybe the symphony is doing a Pink Floyd Laser Show.
Dingo
February 6th, 2007 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

Vaguely Italian?!? There’s gonna be a flap over that comment.
Rusty
February 6th, 2007 at 11:54 pm [Reply]

I fear the joke in Curtis is that his anticipated excitement is related to girls eating maple syrup. He’s a food hound, he’s about 11 years old, and he doesn’t stay up late enough at night to see the GGW ads on TV.
edgeways
February 6th, 2007 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

ok.. I think the punchline in BB is suppose to imply that since el fuzzhead can’t decide what to do he won’t do anything while, whateverhisnameis actually goes and does something.

Not saying it’s cleaver or humorous.. but there ya go.
deeeeeeeeelightful
February 7th, 2007 at 12:02 am [Reply]

I figured that the joke in curtis had to do with Aunt Jemima……….
Stacia
February 7th, 2007 at 12:05 am [Reply]

GT: Lisa Wyche? That’s not Lisa Wyche. That’s Mary Worth.

BB: I fear the colorists decided that blue was the way to color a person’s skin at night, but they had explicit instructions to make Lt. Flip brown, and we’re seeing the result.

Also, I don’t think #9 Marty was saying Beetle was in this strip, just that we’re getting a break from Beetle to see this little Fuzz-on-Flip love spat.
HBGlord
February 7th, 2007 at 12:05 am [Reply]

#35 — “Vaguely Italian”– good one! Lt. Flap was Mort Walker’s way of introducing a black character into the Army 25 years after Truman integrated it. Flap used to have a much more prominent ‘fro (on which sat a teensy helmette) and a goatee, until Army folk complained (no, not about the shameful stereotyping but about his chin whiskers not being Army reg).

Your comment reminds me of a favorite Richard Pryor story: Seems he visited some sub-Saharan African nation to get in touch with his roots, and his guide told him that in a particular village there was a man who could tell just by looking at someone what tribe he was from. So Pryor, swelling with Afrocentric pride, naturally insisted on seeing this man. The guide presents him to the man, and Pryor asks, “What tribe do i look like i come from?”

The man gives him the once over, then a second pass, and replies, “You look Italian.”
Uncle Lumpy
February 7th, 2007 at 12:10 am [Reply]

Totally lame “payoff” in Curtis. Aaaaaaand, cue Billingsley’s annual Black History Month snore-fest.
Rhekarid
February 7th, 2007 at 12:10 am [Reply]

Creepy and mechanical it may be, but the fact that Curtis’ dad displays the capacity for laughter disproves the theory I’ve seen from several people that he’s a plugger. However, the way his right pinky finger freakishly beckons Curtis forward with autonomous mobility goes alongside the laughter in proving he’s something not entirely human.

Near as I can tell, Gil Thorp’s idea of basketball is judo-chopping a ball into a large basket of gingerbread men. Finally, something in this strip that makes sense.
Mik Holmes
February 7th, 2007 at 12:13 am [Reply]

GT: My first critique is the giant puff of dandruff that is expelled from the boys’ heads when they cry out in the second panel. I think that GT takes place in some form of city where people with physical and mental disabilities are sent to pretend to be a community. All the jobs with sharp things, like hairdressers, are done by the sane. Although they must not like their job very much, at least they’re getting a cheap chuckle at the hairstyles they are giving to those poor kids. Someone has to enjoy GT.

I ask everyone to grab a jacket from their closet. Go towards a mirror and slowly put the jacket on naturally. Then do it like that black haired kid is doing it, holding one arm up without putting the other arm through. Are they the same?

It really bothers me that these newspaper comics are spread around the nation. The characters are household names. Ask anybody about Garfield, Archie, or Fox Trot, and they’ll know who you are talking about. But when you look at the actual production, it’s amazing how disappointing it is. The comics provide very little actual entertainment. I stay up at night and wonder just exactly who is GT’s target audience. I cannot think of anything.
akuinakka
February 7th, 2007 at 12:15 am [Reply]

Why is the Phantom so concerned about saving Morrissey? Of course the dude’s ill – that’s why he never shows up at his own concerts. And he’s not bidding you farewell. He’s been singing about his own demise since the ’80s and hasn’t developed the courage to do the deed yet.
Erika
February 7th, 2007 at 12:21 am [Reply]

39: I only want the joke to be about her if this was what was on the video:

http://midtownlunch.com/blog/2007/02/05/ressie-maes-soul-to-go-brings-harlem-to-midtown/
Red Greenback
February 7th, 2007 at 12:23 am [Reply]

Michael Patterson wrote “Girls Gone Wild-The Syrup Chapter”
Steve S
February 7th, 2007 at 12:25 am [Reply]

If we’re lucky, the video Curtis and his dad are watching is the one from The Ring, and the whole strip has seven days to live.
Pozzo
February 7th, 2007 at 12:26 am [Reply]

Okay, as far as I can tell, the joke in Beetle Bailey is a variation on “Do you know the difference between an orange and an elephant?” “No.” “Well, I’m never sending you out for a dozen oranges.”

i.e., if you’re with a black guy and you’re still contemplating going to the symphony, rather than the rap concert, he wants nothing to do with you.

Still lame, but I can see what they were going for.
Cornwhacker
February 7th, 2007 at 12:27 am [Reply]

The Nicholas Brothers.
Enjoy
Poteet
February 7th, 2007 at 12:28 am [Reply]

2/7 –

MT — In a way, MT is kind of touching, because I think the androids really want to talk like us, but can’t quite get the hang of it.

A3G — Such typical NYC sophisticated nuanced sparkling dialogue. We Iowans can only dream of talking like that.

JP — “Checking on Groves.” Abbey, you snarker.
Cornwhacker
February 7th, 2007 at 12:30 am [Reply]

contd. from #50: “.”

Why do I get the feeling that Mark Trail delivers all of his fishing stories with a heavy sigh?
Poteet
February 7th, 2007 at 12:35 am [Reply]

2/7 —

RMMD — Nose-shading in second panel. Does. Not. Work. And in the third panel, June’s getting that demented look in her eye again.

MW — What is Mary looking at in the last panel? The angel of death?
Richard Onley
February 7th, 2007 at 12:35 am [Reply]

Yesterday, True Fable said: “FBoFW Somehow I doubt that a man who can barely put out a syllable is going to somehow say ‘Blackbeard’. Seriously, is this possible, given his circumstances? I realize strokes kind of short-wire the brain, but this just seems awfully damn cruel. Iâ€™d be expecting ‘boat’ maybe, or ‘beard’ (at which case sheâ€™ll know to call Deanna), but maybe Iâ€™m way, way misinformed. Somebody clear this up, okay?”

Okay–I strongly suspect an intended tribute to this fellow:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Blackbeard
Red Greenback
February 7th, 2007 at 12:38 am [Reply]

#50- Cornwhacker- Thank you! Dayum!, that is a Chennux wet dream if ever I saw one!
Oracle Steven
February 7th, 2007 at 12:43 am [Reply]

Concerning Beetle Bailey – Despite dressing like they are in some bizarro army from 1950-70 and having no promotions that I know of – ever; the hapless characters of Beetle Bailey are in a military that apes modern political correctness… and that stymies the ability of the characters to just ask, “What ethnicity are you?” 2LT (I guess his a second lieutenant, I never noticed it was gold until today) Fuzz is obviously trying to decode his buddy’s race via similar methods used by the cast of Saturday Night Live to determine Pat’s gender. Unfortunately, it didn’t work, because 2LT Fuzz does not understand that musical taste doesn’t define race and he has only passing familiarity with the concept of ‘concerts’. The other LT doesn’t want to go to any concert, so he’s going home (which is where the joke lies). Since I read the strip in black and white originally and I can’t figure out the blue stuff, I’m going to pretend Fuzz isn’t blue.
Trotzenbonnie
February 7th, 2007 at 12:48 am [Reply]

Poteet – I don’t know which panel is more disturbing. The demented June in #3 or the carrot-fondling-while- contemplating-impending-satisfaction June in #1.
ColoZ
February 7th, 2007 at 12:54 am [Reply]

MT: The goose is talking. The goose is talking, dammit. The goose is Mark’s freakin’ Charlie McCarthy.

Curtis: I’m beginning to think the “syrup” may be an obscure racial reference. I have some vague recollection long ago of light-skinned blacks being called maple syrup-colored. Which is, if true, is 1) offensive and 2) likely to be totally lost on an 11-year-old in 2007.
mumbles
February 7th, 2007 at 12:56 am [Reply]

FOOB: Hooray for Grandpa Chinnuts for thinking exactly what the rest of us are thinking. %$&!^#! indeed! Now if he would only smack his wife upside the head for treating him like a 4-year-old….
kat
February 7th, 2007 at 1:04 am [Reply]

That goose is talking out of its ass. No, not you, Mark, the bird. Oh, wait, you are a bird who talks out of his ass.

Fishing trip, eh? Up in the mountains, eh? Brokeback jokes are almost trite enough now for Mark Trail to make them.
Poteet
February 7th, 2007 at 1:06 am [Reply]

# 57 — Migawd, I missed that. Thanks, Trotzenbonnie (I think).

Foob — Hey, this is great! It’s clear that somehow or other, Gwandpa has READ the book, and is providing a brief but accurate review! I have a strong albeit momentary affection for him!
Poteet
February 7th, 2007 at 1:09 am [Reply]

# 59 — Oops, sorry Mumbles, you made the point first. Anyway, as a Foobloatharian, I’m back to hating Gwandpa, especially since his thought in the last panel blows the wonderful theory that he knows the book is a pile of (several variations on Margo).
Detroit Diesel
February 7th, 2007 at 1:25 am [Reply]

FOOB: Holy shit! What has happened to this once fine strip? God, I hate Michael Patterson!!! So now Gwanpa Ballsack is crazy because in his stroke-induced state he can’t grasp the literary awesomeness that is Mikey P!!! Fuck this storyline and Fuck You Lynn!!! Arrrggghhh!
RoastyMcBeef
February 7th, 2007 at 1:27 am [Reply]

#50 – Cornwhacker – My junk hurts from watching those guys do the splits so many damn times.
Zach
February 7th, 2007 at 1:42 am [Reply]

I can’t be the only one who, upon seeing the second panel in Mark Trail, imagined, “He wants to do a little fishing!” in the voice of the AFLAC duck. Can I?
TB Tabby
February 7th, 2007 at 2:11 am [Reply]

There’s a Curmudgeon shout-out in today’s Ballard Street!

SF: Will tomorrow’s strip start by showing the back of Sally’s head?

MF: Uh…Tinsley does realize that Walter Williams hasn’t expressed the slightest interest in running for president yet, right?

PC: But look at who has! That makes three candidates from the comics page!

DT: A single sentence…

…stretched out over three panels…

…with no plot advancement whatsoever. Even Bendis doesn’t draw his stories out that far!
Randy S
February 7th, 2007 at 2:16 am [Reply]

The explanation for Lt. Fuzz’s blue hue is simple. Because he’s thinking about going to a rap concert, he knew his pasty white skin would make him stand out like a sore thumb. OTOH, because he knew he could never pull off passing for black (Ever see Gene Wilder’s attempt in Silver Streak? Now picture this from someone without any acting talent or any other redeeming qualities try the same thing)
So he decided on blue, because #1) at least it would reflect less light and #2) if someone noticed, they wouldn’t assume some sort of racist faux pas on his part.
ivan
February 7th, 2007 at 2:36 am [Reply]

The creature in panel 2 of today’s Mark Trail is none other than Truth Duck. Truth Duck speaks what others dare not. Mr. Trail, loath to reveal his friend’s true intentions, merely thought the truth — Truth Duck spoke it. Sophocles had the Chorus. We have Truth Duck..
TB Tabby
February 7th, 2007 at 2:40 am [Reply]

68: So…Bizarro Mallard Fillmore?
The Porridge Bird
February 7th, 2007 at 2:48 am [Reply]

Strange happenings in Mark Trail. Look at Panel 1. Cups just don’t stack that way. I know. I’ve tried. The top one’s freakin’ levitating.

And either the goose is talking (the goose being a messenger from Dan Thomas, a Hogwarts dropout who wasn’t even allowed to keep his owl), or Mark Trail’s speech bubble got so bored that it wandered out of the house and decided to catch some thrills by jumping from the edge of the second panel onto a passing Canada Goose! EXTREME! EXTREEEEEEME! GOOSE-JUMPING, ALL RIGHT! FEEL THE RUSH! YEEEEEAAAAAH! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!
MsChicken
February 7th, 2007 at 2:51 am [Reply]

I appreciate how Josh inadvertently smooths the stilted prose of MT by writing ‘fishing stories I could tell.’ Sadly, Mark doesn’t so much tell fishing stories as he talks about them, which I presume means that he lists the ones he could tell.

As for adventures in Foobville, Granpa Ballsack might soon become a favorite since he says exactly what I thought when Michael experienced such swift and immediate success in publishing (with a pace inversely proportionate to Lizardbreath’s discovery of Paul’s infidelity and her slouch toward Anthony). Given his penchant for fantazing during the Sunday strips, I now wonder how that will work given the stroke– a strip of fantasies capped by a final panel of inappropriate self-touching?
stewart
February 7th, 2007 at 3:23 am [Reply]

But…WHY is Sandra Day O’Connor the lead scorer for the girls’ basketball team?
Lynngineering
February 7th, 2007 at 3:26 am [Reply]

FBOFW: Wow. At this point in Michael’s Coma Fantasy, we see the signs of a last battle underway, signs of Michael’s subconcious at work, attempting to wake him up and get him out of the downwards spiral of no return in his delusional, Foobian yes-men populated world.

Enter Grandpa Jim: F**k you A**holes!!

No seriously, how Michael coma-dream can it get :
Michael had claimed he is particularly excited to get Grandpa’s opinion. He wants the authority (Jim is taken more seriously than Michael’s own Dad) to finally confirm upon Michael complete takeover of the unit – the strip in fact – but also the family and move into the final phase of timeless reign by Michael and Dee – the vegetative state.

But even in Michael’s coma, his subconcious is working against – as it must – and a twist into the Foobian all-hail-King Michael fantasy occurs. And where else, but through the most likely escape route: Grandpa Jim’s uncontrolled eruptions of … “reality”.

Even in the Michael-coma fantasy, Grandpa is still fighting his ever more repressive downgrading.

It was leaking out in the earlier strips against Iris, once beloved second wife supporting Jim, is now in Michael’s mind, the logical agent of behavioral modification against Jim.

First she asks him if he wants to be blind or not (”blinds open”, “sunlight”?) and then she attempts to put him in contact with other agents, (who should we phone…) until finally, Jim calls up the reserves from within, and screams his old soldier nickname as a password: “Blackbeard”. Jim is indeed now a pirate operating in Michael’s world-domination plans.

It is at that point, Michael’s fantasy shows the signs of reality getting some foothold again, as even his agent Iris tries to regain the situation, while she admits to be subordinate to Jim – she asks “permission”.

Then Michael, not getting the memo from his subconcious and its tactics, visits unaware Jim-authority is striking back, preparing an ambush where it hurts the most – respect, acceptance and recognition of the new Master Author, Michael.

Grandpa is sick of this fantasy of his grandson, the cringe-inducing conformity, banality, mind-numbing Foobian world, of which he is expected to just shutup and be funny on twice a month appearances, almost less than the damn Patterson dogs.

Michael’s fantasy script read for Jim to say “hard cover or paperback”, and it appears in his/Michael’s mind, but the subconcious of Michael improvs a new script for Grandpa, who performs it with precise timing and energy, striking the heart of Michael where it hurts the most – his vanity.

We are left wondering, how much time before either Michael wakes up out of the coma, or we will find Grandpa is on medication… Iris: “He’s swearing so badly all the time, it’s embarassing, can’t we control that….?”
t.a.m.s.y.
February 7th, 2007 at 3:27 am [Reply]

Milford High must buy its confetti in bulk. Still, someone should tell them it’s bad form to drop it in the middle of the game.

By the way, what happened between panels two and three that the dark-haired kid is putting his clothes back on? Whatever it was, it was also probably bad form.
AppleGirl
February 7th, 2007 at 3:32 am [Reply]

31 – Robert, I am laughing so hard! COTW nomination.
Reepicheep-chan
February 7th, 2007 at 3:34 am [Reply]

I realise you all are, for the most part, far more used to Mark Trail’s random pulling back to enjoy the spendor of the natural world while we listen to the boring human characters prattle on, but I cannot shake this feeling that the goose in panel two is telling us, in way of clarification, that Mark’s pen-pal is coming up to do some fishing. No only that, but I get this distict *wink wink, nudge nudge* vibe from the know-it-all fowl’s comment, like it is trying to ruin Mark’s reputation by implicating an impending affair with a married man.
Mibbitmaker
February 7th, 2007 at 3:43 am [Reply]

In the news lately, we have Aqua teen Hunger Force terrorizing Boston Mooninite-style, a NASA love triangle that makes Dr. Bellows nostalgic for Major Nelson, and the Ryan O’Neill family immitating Aaron and Logan Ecchols from “Veronica Mars”.

For the first time in years, newsman John Darling is glad Batiuk killed him off!
Christopher
February 7th, 2007 at 3:46 am [Reply]

9 Chickweed Lane and 9 Chickweed Lane:

To be honest, I find these almost as upsetting as yesterday’s Curtis.

Apartment 3-G:

Tommy’s clone’s wardrobe, I’ve just noticed, is a white button-down shirt with an over-starched collar, an 80s-style hot pink off-the-shoulder sweater, and a brown sports jacket.

It’s a daring look for anybody, let alone a straight man.

Look, Tommy, I’m for gender-variance and rebelling against society’s arbitrary fashion rules as much as the next guy, but if you’re going to wear an outfit like that, you have to work a little harder to get the chicks. If you dress like some kind of man-woman from 1984, you really have to wow people with your personality, otherwise they’re going to think you’re some kind of colour-blind imbecile.

Dick Tracy:

Oh. My. God. Dick Tracy is SITLL reading minds. This mind-reading started in August. AUGUST!

ENDENDENDENDENDENDENDENDENDEND!!!!

Mark Trail:

The idea of Mark Trail going through basic training and then seeing combat just broke my brain.

Hmmm… unless Beetle Bailey is actually a young Mark Trail…
Mibbitmaker
February 7th, 2007 at 3:59 am [Reply]

2/7:

FOOB: Crazy, Michael? No, you insensitive asshat, Grandpa J knows exactly what he’s saying in the fourth panel (the thought balloon in #5 is just sarcasm).

A3G: Cross clueless moron LuAnn with cruel, tactless Margo, and you get Tommie today. She’s been cooped up in that apartment with her roommates too long!

FC: Grandma’s crumb collection. Who does she think she is, Stimpy??
TB Tabby
February 7th, 2007 at 4:01 am [Reply]

Personally, I think Lt. Fuzz is blue because Giygas is controlling him via the evil in his heart. Better whack him a few times with a baseball bat just in case.
AppleGirl
February 7th, 2007 at 4:14 am [Reply]

I love Mark Trail. I think he’s sweet and adorable. Sure, sometimes it’s awkwardly written, and I do laugh out loud whenever I see a giant talking animal. But I think Mark, his wife, and all the human characters look very 1940s, which I like a lot. Sweet and gentle.

And I’ve sworn off FBOFW again, so don’t try to entice me into looking at it! That comic makes me testy!

Red Greenback, I am calling the A3G director guy “Jacuzzi McDude” too. I hope he returns to the party… but most likely, we’ll have to endure many months of Tommie/Gary conversation before we see Jacuzzi McDude again.
Christopher
February 7th, 2007 at 4:17 am [Reply]

I’m gonna put this in a different comment, ’cause it’s a little bit political, and if it gets sent off I don’t wanna lose my musings on all the other strips:

Mallard Fillmore:

Republican pundits of Tinsley’s ilk tend to approach the fact that black people mostly vote Democrat with a sort of The Trouble With Kansas attitude: Essentially, the thinking is that the Democrats have basically duped black voters into going against their own interestes.

The trouble with The Trouble With Kansas is that accusations like that are (And rightly so, I think) seen as incredibly condescending.

Which means that if any use of that argument hopes to succeed at reaching the “deluded” audience, it has to be chock a block with facts.

Mallard, of course, is completely lacking in, oh, actual Democratic quotes or actions; it’s just a bald assertion that Democrats don’t care about black people.

Honestly, though, I’m not convinced that this lack of facts is relevant to Tinsley.

Now, I’ve never read The Trouble With Kansas; I have no idea how factual or well argued it is.

But I think one of the purposes it, and the corresponding conservative idea about black Democrats serve is to essentially act as reassurances to the party-faithful that they don’t need to change anything.

They say “It’s not your fault blacks/hicks don’t vote for you; it’s the fault of that devious other party. You don’t need to re-analyse or change your own policies; in fact, you need to be more aggresive in getting your message out”.

In other words, I think these kinds of things are often directed inwards, towards the party, rather then outwords towards the people they’re talking about.

I’m almost certain this is true with this particular strip; Tinsley is part of a small but important group of Republican pundits, whose job is to unquestioningly disperse the Republican party’s talking points.

His job, here, and with this entire series of strips, is to ease the conscience of hardcore Republicans; to assure them that low black voter turn-out for the party does not indicate any underlying racism in Republican policy or speech, but simply reflects the underhandedness of their Democratic enemies.

Honestly, I don’t really know how to talk about Tinsley; his strip is part of a disciplined group of pundits dedicated to propagating certain Republican ideas.

But “conservative” and “Republican” are much too broad. Even “Republican Pundit” is too broad; it could concievably be applied to the guy who does Prickly City, and that guy’s not one of the people I’m talking about here.

Anyway, the point is that Mallard Fillmore is a conduit; It’s not dedicated to spreading Tinsley’s own, personal ideas; it’s one arm of a whole group (Ann Coulter is another arm, justto give you some idea of who/what I’m talking about) dedicated to spreading ideas manufactured elsewhere to a popular audience.

And these ideas aren’t directed outwards to non-party members; Their purpose is to reinforce beliefs already possesed by party members, and, as here, to pre-emptively address any cognitive dissonance or general doubt the faithful might have about their party.

I put it in kind of sinister terms there, because Mallard Fillmore IS sinister, but really, preaching to the choir isn’t always bad.

Anyway, I wish there was a good name for the people Tinsley works with. “The Conservative Media”?

Also, I remain completely baffled by Tinsley’s belief that Big Chin = Caricature.
Dingo
February 7th, 2007 at 4:21 am [Reply]

FOOB: Thank you, Grampa Chinnuts, for saying what we’ve all been thinking! Ò–#@Ò‰Ç¾!!, indeed.

Apt. 3G: What is the sound of one hand clapping? Ask Tommie Thompson and “Tommy” Thompson later this evening when both are naked, in bed, slathered in lubricant… alone.

Pleeeeeeaaaaaaugh-oolah!

Mary Worth: Dr. Jeff Cory, you’ve just returned from the brink of death. What did it look like?

The buttery thighs of Mary Worth, with no guard rail!

Mark “I can’t quit you” Trail: It seems that Lost Forest is experiencing a shortage of commas this season. Instead of “your friend, Dan Thomas, and his wife” we have “your friend Dan Thomas and his wife.” No mention is made of their delightful daughter, Margo. Y’know, Mark, for a “friend,” you sure don’t know a lot about the man. You don’t know he likes to fish, you don’t know what he does for a living… just how many times did you two meet at the baths? Dan Twist? Dan Nasty!

Family Circus: Okay, so this isn’t real. I sure would’ve loved it if it was. Although, I really don’t consider Daddy a bear magnet.

DT(GT): I keep getting confused. Is the restaurant where everyone hangs out the Bucket or the Basket? Bodies are banging beneath the Basket and the boys be baiting bros Bucket bodaciousness. Is this the local place for chicken and, if so, how old is he?

Ballard Street: Love the crossreferencing to another strip but â€” Man! â€” that guy’s wife looks a lot like April from FOOB.
AppleGirl
February 7th, 2007 at 4:31 am [Reply]

Dingo, you are in rare form tonight. “The buttery thighs of Mary Worth, with no guard rail!” hahaha
ItAintEazy
February 7th, 2007 at 4:40 am [Reply]

Yep, I think the BB strip is just another series of the rocky relationship Lt. Flap has had with Camp Swampy starting with his infamous quote “What type of honky outfit is this?” back when he was introduced.
jordan
February 7th, 2007 at 5:17 am [Reply]

curtis:

I have to admit that they are rocking tapdancers:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZjUJpbKzzGQ
Coffeeclash
February 7th, 2007 at 6:11 am [Reply]

FOOB: Grandpa Chinnuts is indeed the ultimate critic, though I can’t help but wonder how much better this strip would be with that panel 4 inserted freely into past storylines: Liz – “Paul dumped me!” GC – “$&!^#!” Anthony – “Wait for me!” GC – “%$&!^#!”

MT – I find the thought disturbing that geese can be so expertly rendered in this strip, yet the panel always cuts off any hint of Cherry’s behind. Elrod needs to read JP and learn Photoshop – or stop reading (DT)GT.

MW: “Jeff, don’t make me raise the Hand of Steel…”

RMMD: In the last panel, is June referring to the carrot?

Six Chix: I can’t believe it’s not funny.
dreadedcandiru2
February 7th, 2007 at 6:16 am [Reply]

#83 – FborFW: Ever notice that the bigger a douche Closetcase is, the better Lynn likes him? I guess he’s meant to represent the HUGE douche she is. I mean, my God, he knows what you’re saying, twat! You’re just sulking ’cause he doesn’t praise your literary Superfund site.
Grue & Some
February 7th, 2007 at 6:33 am [Reply]

the limited palate

palette
dayf
February 7th, 2007 at 6:49 am [Reply]

I don’t know which is more disturbing… The leer on the dad’s face as he prepares to watch waffle pr0n with Curtis, or Lt. Fuzz of all people revealing himself to be Krishna.
jvwalt
February 7th, 2007 at 7:11 am [Reply]

Improved Dialogue, 2/7 Edition:

A3G: “How long have you known Neil? Has he ever been tested for herpes?”

DT: I love the Socialist Realist signage on the police building: “POLICE HEADQUARTERS” in gigantic 3D block lettering. All that’s missing is a smaller “YOU WILL SUBMIT” below it.

FC: “I found your remote, Grandma! It was in the couch down here where you keep your crumbs! And wait till you see what I found behind your toilet!”

MT: “I don’t know what kind of work he does now, but I bet it has something to do with explosives and real estate.”

RMMD: “Why don’t you go case our opulent house, Niki… I can get this!”

The most disturbing thing I read today was the actual punchline in “Sherman’s Lagoon,” which implies that Sherman just soiled his shorts while being transmuted into a human being. Ewwww.
smacky
February 7th, 2007 at 7:15 am [Reply]

FW: Great, the Jeri Curl Magnum P.I. teacher wants to start teaching creationism because 30 students are stupid. If it takes so little to shake the foundations of your beliefs…

Wait, this is Funky Winkerbean, where all the teachers are tragic figures just one more bad day away from turning on the gas and taking the big sleep.
Lockestep
February 7th, 2007 at 7:18 am [Reply]

Mark Trail’s fishing story:

“This one time, at fishing camp, I stuck a rod…….”
smacky
February 7th, 2007 at 7:19 am [Reply]

(DT)GT: That Lisa Wyche is a total MILFO. It says so right on her jacket in panel two. The “O” must stand for “often”!
Meander
February 7th, 2007 at 7:20 am [Reply]

Anyway, I wish there was a good name for the people Tinsley works with. â€œThe Conservative Mediaâ€?

I usually start with “ratb*stards” and go from there. Excellent analysis, BTW.
Calico
February 7th, 2007 at 7:48 am [Reply]

Marky Mark Trail – look at the nice little doggie sitting on the table next to Mark! Is that part of the Precious Moments collection?

FW – Why is Ned picking his nose? I guess he thinks he’ll find a better deposit there.

FC – “I found the remote, Gran – right next to a pound of crumbs, old used kleenex, half-sucked on cough drops, the dentures you lost last year, a couple of coins from the Eisenhower era, and some dried-up tv dinner leftovers.”

FOOB – %#$&#!*
Obviously they don’t swear much in English Canada (except in Manitoba bars). Come to my house, Gwamps, and I’ll teach you a barrage of good ol’ French Canadian cuss phrases, enough to make the Foobs want to puncture their eardrums with a No. 2 pencil.
True Fable
February 7th, 2007 at 7:52 am [Reply]

#54 Richard Onley – Well now, THAT makes sense, thanks for the link. But it’s Lynn, see, so I didn’t expect any kind of nod from her, to anyone to do with comics except Sparky of course, Sparky whose friendship she will suck dry for the next three decades.
True Fable
February 7th, 2007 at 8:04 am [Reply]

FBoFW This case has been tried in the Curmudgeon Court already, but let me just put in my quarter’s worth.
We have established the pattern – Liz’s perpetual wallowing in self-pity, April’s perpetual wallowing in self, Elly’s perpetual platitudes, John’s perpetual one-half liners, and Mewedith’s perpetual poignant cutesyness. But Mike Patterson’s perpetual Gosh Darn, I’m Fuckin’ Brilliant, Everybody Come Kiss My Ass just takes the cake.
Pull your head out of your ass already, Lynn Johnston! A young man goes to visit his ailing grandfather, could you at least have let him ask “How’s Grandpa?” So what if he’s had a stroke, so what if he hasn’t been able to talk, ask after the fellow! Then maybe Iris could have told you, sometimes he can’t find the right word and tosses out anything, and you wouldn’t have to add insult to injury by asking if he’s crazy.
I think the AARP needs to have this strip brought to their attention. Those folks get all up in someone’s face if they even suspect someone’s dissing anyone over 50.
[/rant]
TurtleBoy
February 7th, 2007 at 8:06 am [Reply]

Googling fun! Did you know…

If you Google mary worth (without quotes), CC comes up 4th? Googling mark trail lists Josh’s site 8th; they’ll do it every time, 6th; and funky winkerbean, 9th?

C’mon, folks! We’re lagging behind! Let’s hit Google and up those scores! The (DT)GT crew will go wild, both girls and boys! With syrup!
True Fable
February 7th, 2007 at 8:07 am [Reply]

BB Miss Buxley levitates! They ARE inflatable!
Mr. Groovy
February 7th, 2007 at 8:11 am [Reply]

GT: Well, it’s not hard to score early and often when you keep shooting even after the referee has called time. The ref’s got the whistle in her mouth and her hand in the air. Also, is it just me, or does it look like Lisa Wyche is wearing her basketball jersey over her everyday J.C. Penney’s blouse? For a strip about sports, it sure seems like the cartoonists have never actually seen a sporting either in person or on television.

FOOB: Gallant asks his ailing grandfather how he is doing and what his day has been like before bragging about himself. Goofus bursts through the door and boasts about his own accomplishments without regard for his grandfather’s feelings.
True Fable
February 7th, 2007 at 8:20 am [Reply]

DT Wrong finger, Dick.
SF Yeah, there are – Scotch, snowshoe rabbit, shnozz, slicker, soddy, shitcan, snowshoe, seat, sliver moon, Schenectedy.
Simple.
DtM MenaceWatch2007 says -3 points for not setting off a firecracker over the phone to her. Some Menace you are, we’re going to revoke your license to unnerve, kid.
S-M New day. Same old angst.
FW Leaders of tomorrow: same old buzzkill.
Calico
February 7th, 2007 at 8:22 am [Reply]

#98 –
Jim: B^$#%*&* S^$%#&*!!! (you got that right)
Mikey: “Is he crazy?”

Happy Heart & Stroke Month everyone!
Squawk
February 7th, 2007 at 8:22 am [Reply]

GT: “Heading for the bucket” is a euphemism for blowing chunks, right? That’s what you get for swallowing too many of those corn chips that are falling from the ceiling. Either that, or for finding out you’re a character in Gil Thorp.
kilgore trout
February 7th, 2007 at 8:24 am [Reply]

#42 Uncle Lumpy:

re:Curtis: Yeah, I knew the payoff today would be good. As it happens I just watched the documentary Standing in the Shadows of Motown last night. Highly recommended – it’s about the Funk Brothers, the group of musicians who played on every Motown hit of the 60s and many other classics as well. But, no one has ever heard of them because Motown did not credit the studio musicians on all the Tempts, 4 Tops, Supremes, Marvin Gaye, etc. hits. As the film observes, these guys played on more #1 records than the Beatles, Elvis, and the Rolling Stones combined – given the degree to which the Beatles & Stones covered Motown hits in their early days, you could say they are rock & roll.

So if Billingsley wants to use the Black History Month “snore-fest” (how intolerant of you!) to let us know about some other long-forgotten great artists, I’m happy to read along.
kilgore trout
February 7th, 2007 at 8:29 am [Reply]

#42 UL: and another thing!! (2 !!’s = indignation)

How ironic that you would dismiss Black History Month as a snore-fest in a thread that dumps on MF for suggesting that blue-staters take the black vote for granted.
kilgore trout
February 7th, 2007 at 8:31 am [Reply]

and a third thing!!!

If Billingsley can work some golden otters into all of this, that would be really cool.
Tuan Jim
February 7th, 2007 at 8:33 am [Reply]

Re: #56 — I’ve seen one promotion that I recall. Up until fairly recently SGT Snorkel was a regular E5 SGT (unless my memory fails me completely) and it was only a few years ago that they promoted him to Sergeant First Class (SFC E7) — which technically makes him a Platoon Sergeant — as he should be with that many privates under him. (not that you’ll ever find a SFC living in the barracks anywhere these days). It also cracks me up that they’re still using the garrison caps – only used by Air Force now.
John C Fremont
February 7th, 2007 at 8:43 am [Reply]

# 58 – That’s it!! Mark Trail has been practicing ventriloquism all this time. He’s the one making all those critters “talk!” His family must hate him.
yellojkt
February 7th, 2007 at 8:52 am [Reply]

Girls Gone Wild: They Syrup Edition features a particularly freaky Mrs. Butterworth in some bottle-on-Bisquick action with Aunt Jemima.
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 7th, 2007 at 8:53 am [Reply]

9CL: I see the piano recital is unfolding in Judge Parker Time. Expect the final encore sometime in May.
Justafoob
February 7th, 2007 at 8:54 am [Reply]

Michael has that sensitive, artistic soul. He takes everything to heart. And then he drops some acid and cranks out a major opus for the Canadian version of Rolling Stone.

You all remember his hilarious and biting take on the neighbors beneath, don’t you? Man he skewered the Kelpfroths.

And in his novel he took on the plight of women everywhere in his metaphorical tale of Sheilagh and the burying of the dead.

Look for next month’s letter where he is going to write about the demise of the Greatest Generation.

Mike Patterson, the Gonzo God of Ontario.
willethompson
February 7th, 2007 at 8:54 am [Reply]

You get to the post late and all the good snark has been taken. #87 Coffeeclash and #91 jvwalt scraped my brain for everything I was going to say, and True Fable took the leftovers. Niki casing house…carrot…even the POLICE HEADQUARTERS thing. Dammit. OK, how about…

JP: Aunt Rachel is upstairs with Groves? What, are they doing, role-playing Mary Worth and Jeff Cory? Over the past 28 years, Groves has plugged more dry holes than an Okie wildcatter! He’s SICK! Leave him ALONE!
commodorejohn
February 7th, 2007 at 9:00 am [Reply]

I never, never, never wanted to consider the idea of syrup in such a context. Thanks a friggin’ bunch, Curtis.

Also – “What a blowout. You heading for the bucket, R.J.?”
Lyman Returns
February 7th, 2007 at 9:01 am [Reply]

#108-Yeah, and with the US Army having moved to the black berets and all-purpose camoflague, Mort Walker is at least 3 uniforms behind the real world.

Curtis-What the…? Can anybody out there explain how “Girls Gone Wild: The Syrup Edition” segues into amazing dancers from days of yore? This kind of wanton randomness is like saying, “Hey, let’s watch Season 1 of Voltron cartoons!” and then playing an “Inspector Morse” drama from PBS, and then laughing about it like a jug-headed C3PO while your friend freaks out.

FBOFW-Wow…just….wow. You think this wretched comic strip can’t sink any lower, than it does. The only way this could possibly be redeemed is if Grandpa Jim pulls out the Luger handgun he took off an SS soldier he killed with his bare hands at Normandy and blows Mike Patterson away. Lynn Johnson is a sick, sick woman. I hope when she leaves the day-to-day creation of her comic strip to travel, that she travels somewhere very, very far away, like the South Pole, and stays there, for the good of all mankind.

FW-I can symphasize, Les. Getting a bunch of teenagers to respond to any kind of deadline is like trying to get a Plugger to turn on a PC.
commodorejohn
February 7th, 2007 at 9:10 am [Reply]

And…wow. Today’s Curtis totally did not have anything to do with providing a punchline for yesterday’s, unless we are meant to understand that Blackdad tricked Curtis into watching African-American dancers by promising him softcore syrup porn. Which means that yesterday’s stands completely unredeemed, which means that God is about to justifiably wipe us all out when He catches up on His comics. And…wow again, when FOOB goes even more horrifically offensive than it already is.
jvwalt
February 7th, 2007 at 9:10 am [Reply]

I don’t mind that Billingsley is working some real black history into the strip. I’m just disappointed that he didn’t use MY version of the post-2/6 payoff: Dad starts playing “GGW-SE” and laughs hysterically while Curtis recoils in shock…

… because MICHELLE is the featured attraction in the Syrup Edition! Yes, in her desperation to become a superstar, she’s been shanghaied into the underground world of preteen porn! (Don’t ask how Dad got the tape.) Curtis stares in horror as a naked Michelle steps into a vat of Aunt Jem– let’s make it Mrs. Butterworth — and commences to wrestle with two other girls, a midget, and a live ferret.
miraclemet
February 7th, 2007 at 9:11 am [Reply]

Gil Thorpe: I appreciate Lisa’s well coiffed hair in the first panel which when matched with her under shirt provides an air of modesty to what could be a titalating shot of her in a tank top all hot and sweaty from a long game of womens basketball.

Oh Gil Thorpe, thank you for your midwestern sensabilities.
TheMagicMel
February 7th, 2007 at 9:13 am [Reply]

Lynn Johnson, you suck.

“Is he crazy?!?!?!?”

Michael Patterfoob finally descends from on high to grace ailing Grampa Scrot with His Prescence, and after spouting his own platitudes, reveals his inner douchebag.
Little Guy
February 7th, 2007 at 9:15 am [Reply]

Zits: WAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLT!!!!!!

FOOB: [Margo] makes a cameo!
jules
February 7th, 2007 at 9:18 am [Reply]

I am SO IRATE about Foob right now, I could just spit. (Pardon me while I wipe off my monitor.) I don’t even have a loved one who suffers from aphasia, but I know what it’s all about. Didn’t one single member of the medical community EXPLAIN aphasia to these people?! He knows what you’re saying, Mike; you don’t have to talk to him like he’s a daft child (”I wrote a book, Grandpa! Do you remember books? Boooooooook!”). Also, Grandpa knows what he wants to say; he just has trouble making the proper words come out of his mouth, so sometimes he says something totally inappropriate. Like today. Which might have been funny and charming (I’d like to swear at Mike too, in case no one noticed), if Mike hadn’t looked at Idiot Iris and said, “Is he crazy?” NO, you bad-novelist moron; he’s aphasic! Had a stroke! Remember? Stroooooooke! AND the poor old man never got his prime rib! DAMMIT I shouldn’t be wasting my ire on the Foobs, I should be saving the world with this ire! What is WRONG with me?!

/end of rant/

Please forgive me. Y’all are the only ones who understand. Lynn Johnston certainly doesn’t.
athena
February 7th, 2007 at 9:19 am [Reply]

Today’s Foob reminded me of when my mother was dying of a brain tumor. The tumor left her unable to speak for the most part, but one of the last words she could say was “m*****f*****.”

“Do you want some more water, Mom?” “M*****f*****.”

“Need help going to the bathroom? “M*****f*****.”

Good times…
stinky pete
February 7th, 2007 at 9:21 am [Reply]

#118 Gil Thorp! Thorp! Not Thorpe! Didn’t gh get this point across yesterday?

Three more valium, please.
Dennis Jimenez
February 7th, 2007 at 9:23 am [Reply]

FC – Oh, and your boogery Kleenexes, condom wrappers and crack pipe, too.
jules
February 7th, 2007 at 9:24 am [Reply]

Okay. I am calm now.

MT: Get to the Ballad of Ricky the Rainbow Trout, already. I don’t want to hear about your Army buddy with the gambling problem. Rick-y! Rick-y!

Yesterday’s BB: Eeeew. Thank God for my black & white comix! I always liked Xan from Farscape; don’t try to tell me Lt. Fuzz is the same species, because I don’t believe it.

FW: Ha ha! Those wacky teenagers! They do procrastinate! They’ll Do It Every Time! (Oops, wrong comic.)

FOOB: Dammit, dammit, dammit.

Now I have to go find out what yesterday’s Curtis was setting up. Ta ta!
Craigers
February 7th, 2007 at 9:26 am [Reply]

FOOB : Well, at least someone told Mike to go %#$&#!* himself.
Sean
February 7th, 2007 at 9:26 am [Reply]

Why is it when I read this Mark Trail I heard the sound track to Brokeback Mountain in my head?
Craigers
February 7th, 2007 at 9:29 am [Reply]

#74 TAMSY : By the way, what happened between panels two and three that the dark-haired kid is putting his clothes back on? Whatever it was, it was also probably bad form

Probably “Boys Gone Wild”, more like.
Calico
February 7th, 2007 at 9:34 am [Reply]

#121 – the prime rib ended up in Lost Forest, where Molly is now having a Foob – Feast. Hope it doesn’t make her sick.

When my Dad was sick and in a “Retirement Center” (yeah, yeah, nice ^$%#@* name), his roomate was a man in his 60’s with aphasia caused by a stroke. A real sweetheart, who knew everything going on, but couldn’t verbally articulate, though he sure did try. So the crazy remark isn’t really funny at all IMO.
jules
February 7th, 2007 at 9:36 am [Reply]

Okay, I think I get it. But it’s dumb.

Curtis’ dad wanted him to see some brilliant black artists, so he tricked him into looking at the television by promising “Girls Gone Wild with Syrup.” You know, instead of saying, “Son, I want you to see the Nicholas Brothers in action. They are the finest dancers ever to grace this earth. Just watch!” But if he’d done that, we wouldn’t even be talking about it now, so I guess that was the point of leading up to it with “Girls Etc.”

I hope more information about the Nicholas Brothers can be found on the internet; I feel I owe it to them to find out more about them, since they’ve been dragged into this syrupy mess.
Craigers
February 7th, 2007 at 9:38 am [Reply]

#82 : Now, Iâ€™ve never read The Trouble With Kansas; I have no idea how factual or well argued it is.

Well, it’s quite good. Tom Frank is from Kansas and he makes a compelling argument that Kansans are consistently voting against their own best interests. What he fails to address is the argument that would actually convince someone to change their mind, which is why they should vote in their best interests (instead of according to a set of principles they hold). But he’s not really trying to do that.

Getting back to Mallard Fillmore, though, it’s a different thing because MF is just handing out gratuitous and undeserved abuse to blacks and Democrats. His presumption that blacks will vote for Walter Williams because he’s black are the worst – Walter Williams takes positions that are absolutely despised by most blacks, and his views on the United States (that it should be broken up on “states’ rights” grounds) and racism (that blacks complain too much about racism, slavery and their effects) aren’t going to win him any black votes.
Jason
February 7th, 2007 at 9:39 am [Reply]

Lt. Fuzz was recruited by Tobias Funke to be the latest member of the Blue Man Group.
jules
February 7th, 2007 at 9:41 am [Reply]

#129 Calico – No, the crazy remark wasn’t funny at all – I hope my lunatic ranting didn’t make it sound like I thought it was! I think it would have been funny that Grandpa swore at Mike, if Mike hadn’t responded with “Is he crazy?” I was prepared to laugh at the idea that Grandpa had inadvertently sworn at Mike, until Mike proved that he deserves to be sworn at. They might have all had a good-natured laugh about it, if Mike had handled it with even an ounce of grace. But Mike doesn’t have an ounce of grace, and Lynn isn’t going to grant Jim an ounce of dignity, as near as I can tell. So no, the crazy remark wasn’t the least bit funny, and my apologies to anyone who thought I was saying it was.
True Fable
February 7th, 2007 at 9:46 am [Reply]

willethompson, don’t let our early snarkfest hold you back from diving in! You make some of the best snarkin’ around.

Besides, you pwn us all in parody songs!
HooHaa
February 7th, 2007 at 9:46 am [Reply]

A blowout, going to the bucket?

Is this prison sex slang?
smacky
February 7th, 2007 at 9:46 am [Reply]

#s 98, 103, and most everyone else who read today’s FOOB:

How is it possible that a father of two is so self-absorbed he asks if his grandfather is CRAZY?!?!?

My grandfather had a stroke before I was born and could barely speak the rest of his life. Even when I was young enough to flush dolls down the toilet (something else I was never dumb enough to do), I never thought, much less said, anything so blatantly insensitive, so completely STUPID. That Johnston has a character we’re supposed to root for doing this is mind boggling. Does she think she’s performing some public service by educating the masses about the frustrations of stroke victims? Or does she think this passes for comedy?

Bitch.
Cafangdra
February 7th, 2007 at 9:47 am [Reply]

You know, I don’t follow Mark Trail or Gil Thorp and I usually skim over them when they’re featured here. Today I really looked at them.

1. Holy crap, GT is the worst-drawn strip this side of…this side of…Momma. It’s only slightly less nauseating than Crock. Crimeny.

2. Hey, Mark Trail is kind of hot.
Craigers
February 7th, 2007 at 9:48 am [Reply]

And if #131 is banished to the forum, I understand. Unfortunately as I look at the forum I seem to have been partly scooped by yellojkt.

And Cathy today is unbearable. Love makes men do strange things, makes them strive for the post plainly impossible results, but trying to make Cathy happy would rival the Labors of Hercules, without any meaningful payoff at the end.
Ran
February 7th, 2007 at 9:50 am [Reply]

MW: Mary was about to make her dragon claw attack but Dr Jeff counters with the serpants hold! In tommorows panel, Mary is hurled across the room against the far wall, to collapse in a whimpering heap.

At least in my world, thats how it would happen.

MT: Mark was a green beret, but tries to forget the war in the tranquility of the Lost Forest. Now, with the visit of an old army buddy, the flashbacks will start all over again, only this time, he may not be able to control his rage. Be prepared for carnage that will make the wild animals cringe.
Cornwhacker
February 7th, 2007 at 9:53 am [Reply]

I hope more information about the Nicholas Brothers can be found on the internet; I feel I owe it to them to find out more about them, since theyâ€™ve been dragged into this syrupy mess.

Check out my link on comment #50. Sadly, the Nicholas Bros.’ performance in the legendary 1937 revue Girls Gone Wild: the Syrup Chapter is not available on YouTube.

Red Greenback: good observation. Come to think of it, Chennux has been strangely quiet on this thread.
stinky pete
February 7th, 2007 at 9:54 am [Reply]

#138 and today cathy is unbearable? and this is unusual in what way?
Len
February 7th, 2007 at 9:56 am [Reply]

Lio’s neighborhood butchershop is having a sale on Soylent Green? Would the PETA people protest over this, or are they only concerned with eating animals?

If the “Kevin bacon” displayed was derived from the movie star, then apparently on the lower shelf is the actor’s much longed-for sausage? OO LA-LA!

http://www.gocomics.com/lio/2007/02/05/
Plinko Commie
February 7th, 2007 at 9:58 am [Reply]

Today’s FBOFW verifies what I’ve long believed: you have to suffer major brain injury to truly understand a Patterson.
Craigers
February 7th, 2007 at 9:58 am [Reply]

(DT)GT : I am thinking that after he wraps on It Is Mine! Crispin Glover should take his cast from What Is It? and make a Gil Thorp movie.
Jason
February 7th, 2007 at 9:59 am [Reply]

Forgot to add earlier…. why hasn’t anyone pointed out that Mark Trail seems to feature a talking Canada Goose.
Ribinin
February 7th, 2007 at 10:02 am [Reply]

BB: I read through all the comments. I usually hate it when a comment starts with “Is it just me….”, but in this case……

Is it just me who thinks that Lt Fuzz is just fishing to find out what Lt Flap is planning to do so he can invite himself along? And Lt Flap is resigned to the fact that he can never shake Lt Fuzz.
Foobaphobe
February 7th, 2007 at 10:07 am [Reply]

FOOB:
“%$*)%@+ ^**” indeed.
Let me add, “^#$%$^*}|” to LJ, her precious Michael, and the rest of her addled creation. Please accept my compliments on devising the worst piece of retarded crud your feeble mind could create and convincing hundreds of newspapers to print it. If we needed proof that Satan exists, we now finally have it.
The sweet phrase “Is he crazy?” (to be uttered only against close, enfeebled loved ones) must now enter the official lexicon.
Galactic Emperor Chennux
February 7th, 2007 at 10:08 am [Reply]

ATTENTION EARTHERS! DROP TROU AND PREPARE FOR A SHORT ARM INSPECTION FROM CHENNUX!

I FIND THE ONE YOU CALL CURTIS AMUSING! IT IS FROM A TRANSMISSION OF ‘STORMY WEATHER’ THAT CHENNUX FELT THAT EARTH WAS A GOLDMINE OF DANCING TALENT! IMAGINE CHENNUX’S DISAPPOINTMENT WHEN THOSE SUMMONED TO DANCE BEFORE MY THRONE MOVED MORE LIKE THOSE CHICKENS IN THAT PETA VIDEO. HAHA!

CURTIS ALSO BRINGS TO CHENNUX’S ATTENTION THE EROTIC POTENTIAL OF SYRUP! DANCING WILL CEASE! ALL WILL DRESS AS FLAPJACKS! RED GREENBACK, I’M HAVING A PAT OF BUUTER PREPARED ESPECIALLY FOR YOU! WET DREAM INDEED! HAHA!

END TRANSMISSION!
Calico
February 7th, 2007 at 10:12 am [Reply]

#133 – no offense taken at all!
I laughed too until I read the crazy part.
I actually hope Jim continues his swear-fest and that it is only directed toward MikeFoob.

What is so odd is the ad for H & S Month on FOOBsite, followed by the fizzled-out “joke” that negates any dignity the announcement/ad might have had prior to today.
ChefMike
February 7th, 2007 at 10:13 am [Reply]

MT: first, something’s wrong with today’s comic (besides the fact that it’s Mark Trail), this comic is missing the Giant Canada Geese of continuity
also Mark spent some time with this guy in the army…explains a lot
Curtis: I’m guessing this week is supposed to be a black history month tribute, I doubt there’s any other valuable lesson Curtis can expect to learn from watching these dancers
FW: wait, was the other teacher supposed to be revealing that he somehow thought evolution WASN’T a theory? I hate to break it to ya then, bud. Evolution is a theory, there’s lots of evidence, but it’s as much a theory as creationism is, or the flat earth theory, or the “earth is nothing more than the egg from giant mutant space turtles” theory
hogenmogen
February 7th, 2007 at 10:14 am [Reply]

“Are you going to the Bucket, RJ?”
“Yes, but just to throw up – oh, ‘Bucket’ with a capital ‘B’. My bad.”

Mallard: No, no. I said I wouldn’t comment more than once per week on this strip.

TDIET: Yeah, add this one to the list of “things that never … ” Oh, actually this has happened to me a dozen times. Holy %$^&!!

Mallard just ticked me off this week because… No, I said I wouldn’t comment.

Diesel: Does this strip remind anyone else of 1983? It’s got the bad pixelated graphics we used to run off our Radio Shack TRS 90’s, replete with the black-sleeved, white T’s that were standard for overpriced purchase at concerts and that shrunk 8 sizes the first time through the washer. Even the sentient robots back then were stuck in the same two poses.

Funky: This guy really hates his job. You’d think he’d be at least a little chipper this week that his wife won’t degrade and die a miserable death, suffering at the hands of a cruel, wasting disease. He acts as if every damn day is a chore, like the painful arthritic bone grinding on bone. Les will never be as good at complaining as his compatriot Ed Crankshaft, and his work will never be as hellacious as Dilbert’s. No wonder why your students don’t want to go with you on a field trip.

With Mallard I … . Stop that! There will be no Mallard commentary here! Stop it.

Curtis is a very confusing non-sequitur from yesterday when Dad promised the GGW Syrup Chapter, and Curtis started getting funky during the opening credits. “Hey, hey, hey!” Now I guess that he was really watching some guys in grainy black & white dance the jitterbug. I’ve seen them on video, and they’re remarkable. Unlike Curtis, I didn’t get so bored that I put my face three inches from the screen so I would temporarily go blind and dizzy.

No, there will be no stiffling my rage. Mallard infuriates me because Tinsley can’t fathom depictions of any Republican acting irrationally or bristling at Tinsley’s own irrational suggestion that Williams should run for president. Howard Dean probably considers Williams to be as much of a factor as Alan Keyes, who didn’t crack the top 5 Republican finishers in the primaries. Tinsley, if he wanted to be in the least bit credible, would show that Mitt Romney, John McCain or Bill Richardson were angling to do something about Walter Williams. But, chances are that they aren’t, and when Tinsley wrote today’s strip (at least two weeks ago), they would have had no knowledge of this fake groundswell of support that this Williams guy supposedly has. Just have another drink, go back to your fantasy land, and continue making fun of people who listen to old James Taylor records. I promise I’ll leave you alone on that topic.
gh
February 7th, 2007 at 10:16 am [Reply]

#81 AppleGirl

If you’re off FBoFW, maybe I’ll try ignoring FW again. We can do this! Who needs AA when you’ve got CC?
hogenmogen
February 7th, 2007 at 10:21 am [Reply]

In the alternative universe that is Milford, the ladies look like dudes, and they listen to a band called “smithAero”.
Frank Drackman
February 7th, 2007 at 10:23 am [Reply]

Oh that Beetle Bailey!!! Everyone knows that Negroes all like Rap Music and Honkies love the classics….
Foobaphobe
February 7th, 2007 at 10:24 am [Reply]

#151
Mallard infuriates me and I’m a Reagan Republican. The writing in MF has gone from merely bad to almost insane. The author’s recurring delusion that he’s starting vast grassroots movements is pathetic. His GOP heroes are almost all dullards who are actually indistiguishable from Democrats. His adoration for Bush,. Cheney, and the rest of the neo-con crooks and war criminals is contemptible. “Is he crazy?” might fit here.
hogenmogen
February 7th, 2007 at 10:29 am [Reply]

Foob: Mike Patterson is demonstrating the classic text-book best way to boost the spirits of an ailing person, which is to speak dirisively about them as if they weren’t five feet away and hear every word. This isn’t even non-St-Patterson faux pas, this is downright Patterson-on-Patterson blatant indifference to one another. If I were Grandpa Chinnuts, I’d be thinking “Yeah, that’s right, I said *&^%$^ to your pompous face. I’ve been waiting YEARS to get that out. I HATE YOU, you whiny little asshole! And the best part is, I can get away with it!! Bwa ha ha ha ha!”
willethompson
February 7th, 2007 at 10:33 am [Reply]

#152 gh and Applegirl, I’m glad to see you trying to work through this. Poteet, Red G, lynngineering, TF, Fogeyette, jules, UL and Calico were planning an intervention, but at least you now recognize that you need help.

We’ll be meeting near the corner of Drucker and 4th, in the big sandstone building with the noseprint on it. Bring some cookies.

(note to those mentioned above: we won’t be needed the ropes and tazers – hope you saved the receipts…)
hogenmogen
February 7th, 2007 at 10:35 am [Reply]

Mark Trail’s friend likes Mark’s “fish stories”, and is always “looking for a card game”. It is entirely possible that the next plot line is Mark and this friend parlaying friendly wagers on a grueling, all-night session of “Go Fish”.
willethompson
February 7th, 2007 at 10:42 am [Reply]

Hogenmogen, maybe you’d better join gh and AppleGirl with us tonight. It seems that a certain clueless waterfowl has a power over you that you cannot control. Decaf coffee will be served. And unlike AA, our chips are edible and served with a killer habeÃ±ero salsa. We’re here for ya, buddy.
gh
February 7th, 2007 at 10:44 am [Reply]

#113 willethompson

Yeah, what you said. 100+ comments by 8:30 AM? Nothing but table scraps left.

Okie wildcatter? Hee hee!
Foobar
February 7th, 2007 at 10:47 am [Reply]

160- Oh, williethompson! What you said!
No Stupid Bear
February 7th, 2007 at 10:51 am [Reply]

To hell with the wild boys. It looks like Lisa Wyche is internalizing her mother’s braying demands for perfection with a bout of anorexia. With no muscles in her arms, I’m surprised she can even dribble, much less score.
treedweller
February 7th, 2007 at 10:59 am [Reply]

MT 2/7: “We spent some time together in the army.”

That was back during the war, when they had bigger things on their minds than creating good euphemisms for their manlove. Later, they came up with “looking for a card game.” [in your pants!] Now the friend has moved on to “going fishing.” [in your pants!]

Cherry and the friend’s wife will be left on their own during the “fishing trip” and will have to come up with another term. Maybe they will “relocate the beavers.”
HBGlord
February 7th, 2007 at 11:07 am [Reply]

MW: Oh, snap! Mary is uncontrollably, inconsolably hot in the Habands right now (an 8,000-mile booty call will do that to a gal), and she finds that her beloved, sainted Dr. Jeff would rather take his chances with dengue fever than enter her Blue Fuzz and Black Flap. C’mon, Doc — knock ‘er a piece before your little jungle machete mercifully rots off!
gh
February 7th, 2007 at 11:08 am [Reply]

OK. All caught up and it’s only 11AM!

#101 Mr. Groovy — 10 points for Goofus/Gallant!

#123 stinky pete — Thanks for saying it so I don’t have to (again)

#157 willethompson — *sniff* You guys. (bolts for the door)
Squid Countess
February 7th, 2007 at 11:09 am [Reply]

CHENNUX – A Pirates of Penzance parody makes me all hot and bothered and almost ready to yell, “Oh, God! End transmission!”, but as I read your latest posts more closely, I suspect this is not of interest to you. Why are all Galactic Emperors either married or interested in coating other men in butter?

Lynn Johnston is really a horrible person. You know by now she’s been contacted by hundreds, if not a thousand, stroke survivors, speech pathologists, family members of stroke survivors, etc, who have explained to her that her portrayal of aphasia is completely wrong, demeaning and downright damaging – but she won’t change it one bit. Because she’s got to have her lame-ass little jokes, no matter how much misinformation she spreads or who she hurts. She will pay.The Universe will not tolerate this woman. Maybe it will be judgement day, and she has to answer a question, maybe about an African swallow’s flying speed, to enter Paradise. And maybe stupid Lynn will open her mouth, and nothing will come out. Or maybe her husband or kids or grandkids will become aphasic, and just call her motherf**ker all the time.
MrP
February 7th, 2007 at 11:11 am [Reply]

Jack Elrod’s actively trying to mess with our heads now. At least in the old days he’d point the speech bubble vaguely in the direction of whichever hut or whatever it was supposedly coming from, but now… Now, man, he’s admitting that his giant animals speak part of the ongoing dialogue!
MrP
February 7th, 2007 at 11:12 am [Reply]

Also, black people like rap. BLACK PEOPLE LIKE RAP!
jules
February 7th, 2007 at 11:16 am [Reply]

#157 – Oh shoot! I like the ropes and tazers.

:)
stinky pete
February 7th, 2007 at 11:19 am [Reply]

(DT)GT, (not (DT)GTe): more on the fabulous artwork: in panel 1, the ref is calling a foul on Lisa Wyche, since she is slapping her own elbow as she shoots. An old-fashioned 3-point play!

Panel 2, I find the fist growing out of the skull of person-of-indeterminate-gender-who-is-second-from-left to be charming in its own way.
gh
February 7th, 2007 at 11:19 am [Reply]

Ooo! Ooo! I can tell Mary Worth is really in Vietnam! There’s a Chinese character on the sign behind her. Nothing like a little local color to spice things up, even if it is the wrong locale.
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
February 7th, 2007 at 11:20 am [Reply]

Minor note on What’s the Matter with Kansas? (note the actual title): It’s not so much that Frank is saying to Democrats, “keep doing what you’re doing – it’s all the nasty Republicans’ fault for fooling the dumb Kansans” as he’s saying that the Republicans are talking to Kansans about social issues in ways the Kansans can understand (despite being unable actually to legislate on those issues) while the Democrats are not speaking to economic issues that are of real relevance to Kansans (and the rest of the lower-middle-class population).

Also, STB.
Anonymous
February 7th, 2007 at 11:22 am [Reply]

Marla’s getting a makeover, Marla’s getting a makeover!!! I am so excited!! Tart that point nose shrew right up and send her to the TGIF bar next to Grumbel’s – I’ll be there suavely sipping brown liquor, ready to listen to her retail-related diatribes in exchange for some Marla poon!! Hell. Yeah.

Can someone help me understand “vintage” Krazy Kat? Krazy Kat, perhaps? Between the buggy lettering and the weird diction, I am perplexed – is there something in the background of the “kop” or the cat and maouse that I need to understand the interplay here? Anyone care to enlighten me?
Galactic Emperor Chennux
February 7th, 2007 at 11:26 am [Reply]

ATTENTION EARTHERS, SPECIFICALLY SQUID COUNTESS! SUSPEND YOUR ENUMERATION OF MOLLUSCAE AND HEED ME!

CHENNUX DESPISES BEING MISINTERPRETED! READ THE COMMUNICATION CLOSELY! BUUTER! NOT BUTTER! CHENNUX IS LACTOSE INTOLERANT! IT IS ALL ABOUT THE SYRUP NOW! IT IS GALACTIC EMPERORS GONE WILD! HAHA!

CHENNUX WAS ALSO UNAWARE OF THE SEDUCTIVE POWERS OF LIGHT OPERA PARODY! HMMM! WELL, SINCE ILSAMORADA GIRL SEEMS TO HAVE GONE BACK TO LURK MODE, CHENNUX WILL CONSIDER THIS CHALLENGE!

END TRANSMISSION!
hogenmogen
February 7th, 2007 at 11:27 am [Reply]

We interrupt a superhero fighting a crime wave orchestrated by a mob kingpin to bring you Spidey’s marital problems and missed phone calls. Oh, that’s definitely more exciting. I’m waiting for the teaser “NEXT: NO EMAIL SERVICE!!”
HBGlord
February 7th, 2007 at 11:28 am [Reply]

#168: MrP — Turn that “rap” junk down!
jules
February 7th, 2007 at 11:29 am [Reply]

Cornwhacker, thanks for the link at #50. I stand in awe of the Nicholas Brothers! I’m such a bad dancer, Emperor Chennux would just roll his eyes and incinerate me out of my misery.
hogenmogen
February 7th, 2007 at 11:35 am [Reply]

#166 – Squid “Or maybe her husband or kids or grandkids will become aphasic, and just call her motherf**ker all the time.”

That would be really cool to imagine.
Lynn: Time for bed.
Grandkid: Time to screw yourself, Motherf*cker!
Lynn: Goodness! Wash your mouth out with soap!
Grandkid: I can’t help it, G’ma, I have uh.. Torrents.
Lynn: That’s “Tourette’s Syndrome”, and that’s not how it works.
Grandkid: Like you would know, stupid Motherf*cker.
Susie Derkins
February 7th, 2007 at 11:37 am [Reply]

Curtis: “Girls Gone Wild–The Syrup Edition” made me think of the PBS a few years back where Pig dated a syrup bottle known as “Miss Bootyworth.”

FBoFW: Ha ha! Let’s all laugh at the “crazy” aphasic! Isn’t he oh so cute?

Gag…

This strip’s recent storylines have been offensive on so many levels that it wouldn’t surprise me to learn that Lynn HAS made a deal with Satan and sold her soul for fleeting fame.

As far as offensive storylines go, there’s also the “stick with your own kind” moral of the Paul storyline. It made me think of Anita singing to Maria in “West Side Story”:

A boy like that
Who’d kill your brother
Forget that boy
And find another
One of your own kind!
Stick to your own kind!

Okay, so Paul hasn’t killed Michael “Lookitme, lookitme, I’m God’s gift to the literary world” Patterfoob, but we can dream, right?

Speaking of sticking with your own kind…

MW: Could Mary Worth BE any more xenophobic? Must all races and cultures bow down before the power of the biddy?

My boyfriend has godparents who have lived in India for sixty years, and as missionaries, who I assume would not be as well equipped as, say, a DOCTOR to prevent themselves from getting ill. Not that doctors are immune, but I still must say:

Eat that, “Dr.” Jeff Cory! Back to the biddy bubble with you!
SmartPeopleOnIce
February 7th, 2007 at 11:43 am [Reply]

If Bandar medicine is anything like Bandar livery or Bandar haberdashery, I’d say Mozz is in some deep shit.
Jobiska
February 7th, 2007 at 11:49 am [Reply]

102:

SF Yeah, there are – Scotch, snowshoe rabbit, shnozz, slicker, soddy, shitcan, snowshoe, seat, sliver moon, Schenectedy.

For a minute I read “SF” as “Sally Forth” and was trying to figure out if Right Said Fred really did have a long list of S-word hits. (I don’t read Slylock Fox on a regular basis).
ianscot
February 7th, 2007 at 11:51 am [Reply]

2/7: Have we previously learned that Mark Trail spent time in the army? He knows his visiting fishing companion from that stint. Seriously: is this a point of character development that spent the first umpty decades of the MT strip only tacitly understood, only to be revealed in 2007? We knew he had a uniform fetish, but I always assumed it was a Ranger outfit, not that he performs the duties of any Ranger I’ve ever known.

(”His GOP heroes are almost all dullards who are actually indistiguishable from Democrats”? Tom Coburn is indistinguishable from a Democrat?? Mallard’s presently touting a guest host on Limbaugh’s show, isn’t he? Has Rush had many Democratic guest hosts?…)
brendan
February 7th, 2007 at 11:58 am [Reply]

182: speaking of Mallard Fillmore, Tinsley went too far today, so I was forced to respond.

There was a discussion about political strips here last week, so I’m a little leery about posting. OTOH, MF is not only an unfunny strip, it has no plot to speak of, rarely features any of the supporting characters, and has less of a place on the funny pages than Doonesbury, which at least elicits a chuckle now and then. MF is little more than baseless attacks and unhinged rants. God, i wish Tinsley’s license to draw would be taken away, like his license to drive.
El Chupacabra
February 7th, 2007 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

I can’t be the first person who noticed this, but something about a duck’s butt talking about “fishing” is deeply disturbing…
Dennis Jimenez
February 7th, 2007 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

Bandar – first name in haemoid suppositories.
Dennis Jimenez
February 7th, 2007 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

Oh, you know what I mean.
queek
February 7th, 2007 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

I’m not understanding all the drollery directed at the term “going to the Bucket.” It’s a perfectly valid basketball term, also known as “driving the lane,” “going strong to the hole” and “getting to the rim.”

and Niki, I hope you like carrots.
Antelope Freeway
February 7th, 2007 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

Re: No. 86: Fred Astaire once described this number by the Nicholas Brothers as the greatest dancing he had ever seen onscreen.
zeeba
February 7th, 2007 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

2/7
The comics in my paper are in alphabetical order. By the time I got to R&R (Red & Rover), I felt just like Red:
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2007/2/7&name=Red_n_Rover

Yeah, I’m in a funk, too, from reading FW’s cancer story last week, JP’s gross-out last week, and FBOFW for the past 5 years. Most everyone’s mad today at LJ as well they should be, but I’m directing my anger right now at you, Tom Batiuk!! We all know that life in Westview or whatever that town is in FW is hopeless, but I could usually count on Crankshaft for just a little levity. Today’s strip brought me down:

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070207&name=Crankshaft

You see, I went through the same thing when my late dad needed a walker, but he refused to use it, even though he could barely stand. Thanks for bringing back all those memories–not the way I wanted to remember him. See, Batiuk, a lot of people read the comics to ESCAPE, for a LAUGH, or to appreciate cleverness or “good art.” But you must drag us through the depths of despair and then some. Red is right: it might take 50 more smiles to make it all better.

And then there’s Ruthie (OBH):
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2007/2/7&name=One_Big_Happy

This is why I’m a big Ruthie fan. Yeah, why isn’t eleven called oneteen? I’ve often wondered this myself.
JPS
February 7th, 2007 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

Is it just me, or is elder Wilkins throwing the Jay-Z “triangle” sign in panel three?
stinky pete
February 7th, 2007 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

#187, yeah, but seen out of context, â€œgoing strong to the holeâ€ and â€œgetting to the rim” are making me a little queasy.
Mibbitmaker
February 7th, 2007 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

#189: Oneteen, huh? I still like to occasionally call 2007 “Nineteen-ninety-seventeen”, myself.

Though “Nineteen-ninety-twelve” (2002) is easier and more fun to say.
Christopher
February 7th, 2007 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

For some reason Mallard Fillmore’s portrayal of Howard Dean REALLY bothers me.

I mean, I know a reason it bothers me; it sucks. But that’s true of every Tinsley caricature.

But this is the only one that motivated me to scribble down a paordy of the Fillmore brand of caricature.

It’s supposed to be Dick Cheney, but I think it looks too much like him to really be cut out for a real Fillmore strip.
Poteet
February 7th, 2007 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

# 157 — Sorry, willethompson, but I’ve decided to opt out of the intervention. And I want company in my addictions. Sooo…

# 81 & 152 — Don’t fight it, AppleGirl and gh. Join us. Join us on the Dark Side that is Foob and FW. You know you want to. Badness is good. Badness rules in the end. Who’s more remembered by the public, Darth or that dorky kid of his? I rest my case.

And speaking of Foob, I have a feeling that Michael is going to pontificate, in dreadful purple prose, about his grandfather’s condition in his March letter. Of course I don’t have to read Michael’s letters — it’s not legally required or anything — but when I go bad, I go bad all the way.
Old Fogeyette
February 7th, 2007 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

Williethompson: I actually thought the tasers were a bit of overkill. I am living proof that cold turkey works (also Cold Duck and Wild Turkey). I used to read Cathy religiously, partly because my mother loved it when it was young (just as she loved ME when I was young). Anyway, after inoculation here at CC, I realized how loathsome Cathy had become, and I quit it. SNAP! Just like that! No withdrawal, nothing.

I also quit LIO, but only after having read it for about two weeks.

FW should be equally easy for anyone to quit. FOOB is more problematic, but I guess that is why we are here to help. Tasers or not.
Krazy Kat
February 7th, 2007 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

FOOB-Gwanpa Jim said what we’re all thinking!!
Go Jim.
This is the first realistic reaction to Michaels news.
I’m sure it wasn’t intentional.
Lynngineering
February 7th, 2007 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

#157 – the taser stays with me. If FBOFW gets any worse, I’m going to need it.
Ghost Riders in the Foob
February 7th, 2007 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

And is that Dan or his wife dropping out of the NY-bound flock in panel 2?
Itazurakko!
February 7th, 2007 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

The first panel of “Gil Thorp” is the most unmoving drawing of basketball I’ve seen in a while.

All of the people look like statues. This is an action strip?
Christopher
February 7th, 2007 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

WillieThompson et al:

You know, you don’t have to stick to the favorites, you know. You could always try snarking without a net:

Baldo:

Um, the proper punchline here is, “A warning? Sure. Show up late again and you’re fired”.

Seriously, what the hell? He’s gonna get a note on his permanant record? Is he in grade school?

I mean, what kind of future employer is going to say, “Hmm, impressive resume, prestigious degree, years of relevant experience, but you were late twice for your crappy minimum wage job at the local Jiffy Lube. Now, once we could handle, but twice? I’m sorry, you just aren’t the kind of employee that we’re looking for.”?

Frankly, I’d just take that “warning” as permission to come in late the next time I didn’t feel like getting out of bed.

Lola:

I hope to god that’s snow.

Momma:

Apparently pursuing happiness involves lying on your stomach in you squalid, raoch infested, beer-can littered, barely furnished one-room appartment.

Okay, why don’t we talk about this one anymore? It’s every bit as depressing as your Funky Winkerbean or your Crankshaft.
Quigmans

I don’t get it. But then, both the mode of dress and text of the joke seem to date this strip to about 1972, so maybe it’s the generation gap.

Rubes:

NO.

Tumbleweeds:

Okay, I just plain can’t make heads nor tails of the art in Tumbleweeds. It looks like the covered an ACTUAL tumbleweed with ink and just let it roll accross some butcher paper.

Of course, with this method tere’s always the risk that you’ll end up stumbling upon a strip that’s actually good, but it’s a risk you’ll have to take.
JB2
February 7th, 2007 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

Curtis

This is about as clumsy of a gag as this stupid strip is capable of, which is saying something.

I understood right away that old fathead would be playing a trick on Curtis with the old switcheroo and that father and soon would not, in fact, be sitting down to watch syrup-porn on VHS.

Or are they? Shouldn’t tap-dancing be entertaining and fun to watch? Curtis looks truly frightened, while dad has a truly creepy and smug expression. Are they wathcing Nicholas Brothers syrup-porn?
Bud
February 7th, 2007 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

I take it Lt. Fuzz never attended Homerpalooza.

“Ok people, who ordered the New York Philharmonic?… Cypress Hill, I’m looking in your direction!”
Ogg Ogglesby
February 7th, 2007 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

BB: Lt. Flap originally said “See you next Tuesday” but it didn’t make it past the censors.
Saellys
February 7th, 2007 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

I think we should be worried less about Mark’s tendency to speak like an android and more about his Xtreme ventriloquism skills. I mean, come on, he’s able to project his words through a goose’s back.
PeteMoss
February 7th, 2007 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

Geez! Did anyone read the comics today! Man, that stuff is crazy!
Deanbooth
February 7th, 2007 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

In MST3K’s Attack Of The The Eye Creatures episode, Mike and the bots reviewed several horrendous shots from the movie and repeated “They just didn’t care!” I use the same mantra every day while reading the comics.
cephas
February 7th, 2007 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

I dunno, this Mark Trail storyline sure has a Brokeback feel to it. His old friend coming to go fishing? Come on. Look at Mark’s dreamy face!
Deanbooth
February 7th, 2007 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

#83, Dingo: Commas are needed in â€œyour friend Dan Thomas and his wifeâ€ only if Mark Trail has just one friend. …um, so you’re probably right.
Jason
February 7th, 2007 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

#206 Attack of The The Creatures features Joel rather than Mike. Its sad that I know that and sadder that I felt the need to correct you. (:
SmartPeopleOnIce
February 7th, 2007 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

Here’s what’s buggin’ me about Mark Trail: In an otherwise perfectly coiffed, one might even say helmut-like, pompadour, he’s always got that ONE GODDAM FREAKY LITTLE CURL STICKING OUT.

That’s what’s buggin’ me about Mark Trail.
Deanbooth
February 7th, 2007 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

#209. Jason, I knew that — call me crazy, but it must have been the aphasia that made me say “Mike.”
ginevra
February 7th, 2007 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

What do you mean the boys haven’t gone wild? Blowout Boy is apparently ripping his shirt open down the front while talking to a man who partied so hard he lost his face and the top of his head.
Cornwhacker
February 7th, 2007 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

Hereâ€™s whatâ€™s bugginâ€™ me about Mark Trail: In an otherwise perfectly coiffed, one might even say helmut-like, pompadour, heâ€™s always got that ONE GODDAM FREAKY LITTLE CURL STICKING OUT.

Yeha, but if he ever slicked it back, how could we tell Mark from any other male human in the strip?

Oh, the facial hair. Right.
Anonymous
February 7th, 2007 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

173 Anonymous
Krazy Kat is one of the most esoteric comics of all time. It is written in dialect and almost needs to be read aloud, after a couple of practices to understand it. In brief, Krazy is in love with Ignatz Mouse. Ignatz, who we occasionally see with his family and kids, does not return the affections, choosing instead to hurl bricks at the love struck cat. Krazy interprets this as symbols of Ignatz’s love and usually a small heart appears above her head.
Offisa Pup (the cop) considers Ignatz to be a low life, and has no tolerance for his brick throwing.
The lettering was not so bad in the original large
format, but it does not translate to web or small format.
If you spend some time with it you may grow to love it.
HBGlord
February 7th, 2007 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

#173, 214 — Hey, you two Anonymice: Anony2 referred to Krazy Kat as “she” — one of the conceits of Krazy Kat is that Krazy’s sex (no, not gender, as it can be argued that Krazy’s gender is feminine — once a persnickey copy editor, always a persnickety copy editor) fluctuates from male to female at creator George Herriman’s whim. The other two main players were inambiguously male. In the King Features animated cartoon, however, Krazy was definitively female.
HBGlord
February 7th, 2007 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

I meant “unambiguously” — damn you, QUERTY keyboard!
HBGlord
February 7th, 2007 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

And, uh, “persnickety” — have i mentioned i’m a former copy editor?
Erich
February 7th, 2007 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

My prediction for tomorrow’s “Curtis”: Curtis will still be enthralled by the Nicholas Brothers’ talents. Dad will express happiness that Curtis is learning to appreciate “real” black artistry. Curtis will deflate Dad’s good mood by pondering how well the Nicholas Brothers could breakdance, moonwalk, or do the robot.
Ten Day Dinosaur
February 7th, 2007 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

194 – Ah, but that dorky kid went on to be the Joker in animated Batman.
Cornwhacker
February 7th, 2007 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

I’m going to go one step further, Erich, and predict that Curtis writes a school paper claiming the Nicholas Brothers invented breakdancing (see comic in #38’s link).

I believe my past exposure to Krazy Kat has given me the abilty to read TDIET’s Scadutoistic spelling quirks with an open mind.

Oh, yeeeah!
BlueDot
February 7th, 2007 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

Talk among yourselves. I’ll give you a topic. In GT, the boys-gone-wild are neither wild, gone nor (apparently) boys. Discuss.
jules
February 7th, 2007 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

#202 ….and now Sonic Youth is in my cooler!
Cornwhacker
February 7th, 2007 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

Corrections to post #220:
> 32, not 38.
> According to Ray Billingsley, I should have spelled it ‘break dancing’. The single quotes are part of the word.
Anonymous
February 7th, 2007 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

I just can’t plow through 222 comments to see if anyone else already offered this prediction, so if it’s a repeat, sorry.

Mark Trail’s friend has a gambling problem. His wife will be wholesome, clueless, and yet vaguely worried about the card sharp–who is now sporting a different hair style from the one Mark and he had in basic training (and I’m having a hard time picturing Mark Trail in a buzz cut, but okay)–and I think it will be replete with sideburns that are too long or maybe a mustache or some other negative “hair” indicator.

MT. I wish Doc Jeff WOULD go back to the brink of death! The children, my foot. He should think of us readers who are sick and tired of this yammering nonsense. I don’t EVER want to see Mary Worth in bed again!!!! [Insert shuddder here.]
Citric
February 7th, 2007 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

If there’s one thing I love about Mark Trail, it’s the random talking animals. Yes, Shylock Fox can deduce who stole things from irate beavers by the length of their hair, but can he deduce that some guy wants to go fishing while flying in tight formation in the general vacinity of a cabin?
King Folderol
February 7th, 2007 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

BB – Some weird commentary about how different races can’t get along in America? I just don’t know.

Curtis – This was indeed freaky. And not in a get-my-freak-on-kind-of-way but in a hey-get-a-load-of-the-bearded-lady-with-the-chin-nuts-on-her-face kind of way.

MT – Give Mark a break, Josh. When you’re raised by the animals, you’re not going to speechify like Barack Obama. We’re lucky he’s not wearing a revealing loincloth and grunting like the savage that’s just itching to get out.

GT – I’m sure regular Gil Thorpe readers know what “heading for the bucket” means, but WTF? Is RJ about to take a long, satisfying dump? Are they going to go inject heroin in the empty shop classroom? Are they going to go Ted Haggard on us? Do I even want to know?

I typically comment about how manly the women are drawn in GT, but it strikes me that Lisa Wyche isn’t only manly here, she also looks like an android. Lil’ Orphan Annie didn’t have pupils, but at least she knew to smile so that she didn’t look like a horrible pod person who had come to destroy us all. I know a few sports fans would argue that Lisa is “in the zone”, but her look says “I will destroy you and eat your heart while you sleep.” And that, to say the least, is most disquieting.
stinky pete
February 7th, 2007 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

#226 THORP! THORP! THORP! NOT THORPE!

ahem.
Crankenstank
February 7th, 2007 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

Is that….Mary Worth taking it to the hoop in Gil Thorp?!?
Artist Formerly Known as Ben
February 7th, 2007 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

#200, I’m trying to come up with a response. Re:Rubes, none of the horse bestiality jokes I’m coming up with quite do it justice.
Krazy Kat
February 7th, 2007 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

215-HGBlord
Not sure why I checked in at #214 as Anonymous.
It is I, Krazy Kat.
I always (chauvinistically) took Krazy as a male, which was somewhat confusing at the time since Ignatz is pretty heavy on the testosterone. Though sex did tend to bend, reading Herriman seemed to confirm the feminine nature. Seriously, though, not knowing makes it more fun (that is, confusing) to read.

Now, I mus git rid of this “brick”
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
February 7th, 2007 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

224: “I wish Doc Jeff WOULD go back to the brink of death!”

Just so long as he doesn’t go to the Bucket.

“I donâ€™t EVER want to see Mary Worth in bed again!!!!”

Would you prefer that her ardor’s so intense she gives it to him leaned up against the doorway?

Sorry – gotta call a priest to get rid of the demon obviously possessing my brain.
mark
February 8th, 2007 at 1:50 am [Reply]

GT: I’m loving the half sutured together face in frame 3.
Sjofn
February 8th, 2007 at 2:57 am [Reply]

That’s right, Grandpa Jim. That’s right. Keep cursing that sonofabitch out.

Really, though, I think Ms. Johnston is freaking taunting me. “Oh ho ho, you thought Michael could not possibly get more loathesome? Try this on for size, Sjofn! Bwahahahaha!”
Davenport
February 8th, 2007 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

Man how did that duck in panel 2 even know what Mark Trail was going to say
Indeed
February 9th, 2007 at 6:02 am [Reply]

Hi! It’s late on this one, but I can explain the “syrup” thing. The answer is to be found, as with many of life’s Answers, in the hip hop music of the Dirty South.

It’s a term for prescription cough syrup with codeine, which originally became a popular intoxicant among musicians in Houston (home of the Chronicle comics page! woo represent) who praised its effects quite often in their lyrics. DJ Screw (RIP) took popular rap beats, slowed them to a crawl, and added Max Headroom-ish stutter effects to the vocals, which created a sound approximating the feel of syrup sippin’ (usually mixed half-and-half with Sprite–2 oz. syrup = “servin’ a deuce”). Many Southern hip hop releases nowadays come with two different mixes: the regular version, and the “screwed and chopped” version.

Being thus lionized in song, syrup has gained favor among the party crowd in recent times. This makes the GGW/syrup reference in “Curtis” seem no less weird or stilted, but hopefully sheds a little light on the reference.
Carol Anne
February 13th, 2007 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

Is “Gil Thorp” really a current comic strip? There haven’t been sleeves on girl’s/women’s basketball jerseys anywhere for a decade. Even Louisiana Tech’s Lady Techsters go sleeveless!
AtomicDog
November 19th, 2007 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

Beetle – It’s simple. Lt. Fuzz is a Bolian.
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May 29th, 2009 at 3:42 am [Reply]

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