The Comics Curmudgeon

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Metapost: WRESTLEMANIA LIVES!

Hey kids! Does wresting your fellow humans, or even your fellow carbon-based life forms, bore you? Would you rather let the world know that not only are you into wrestling boats, but that you also have the skill level in said pursuit necessary to earn a scholarship at a state university? Then you ought to own a fine piece of Comics Curmudgeon Boat Wrestling Merchandise!

Here, faithful reader Gabe, along with pals RoboRob and Hooper_X, illustrate that the boat wrestling craze has spread to the world of lucha libre. Fear them! But you should still buy the shirt.

(If you’re totally baffled by all this, go to this post and scroll down to the Judge Parker strip.)

This entry was posted on Monday, February 12, 2007 at 09:11 pm and is filed under Judge Parker, metaposts.

125 responses to “Metapost: WRESTLEMANIA LIVES!”

Poteet
February 12th, 2007 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

WOW! Now THAT’S an action photo!
stinky pete
February 12th, 2007 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

Geez, only 8 comments on the old thread and we get a new post? Who knew Josh could get another one up that fast? we salute you, sir!
Red Greenback
February 12th, 2007 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

Hot Damn, Vietnam! That last thread went by faster than nitro -burning cheetahs on Brylcreem.
FREE HOWARD NOW
February 12th, 2007 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

So, how much for just the mask?
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
February 12th, 2007 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

You know, I already made a joke last time about “Josh getting it up” so I will refrain from mentioni – d’oh!

And Gabe – it looks like you’re in a good position to take the silver-and-gold masked guy and force him to the Bucket!
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
February 12th, 2007 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

Oh – my never-ending efforts to publicize the noble sport of boat-wrestling receive more photographic documentation here and here - plus mixin’ it up with the Joss Whedon crowd….
True Fable
February 12th, 2007 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

Gadge Cubic, Firefly Preener?
andreavis
February 12th, 2007 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

Gadge, I knit my husband something similar:

http://beeziesblog.blogspot.com/2007/01/more-finished-items.html

He’s no boat wrestler, but he appreciates sci-fi knitwear (I made him a 13-ft Dr. Who scarf also!)
Cafangdra
February 12th, 2007 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

Freaking A, I need money so’s I can buy me up some merch. And pay rent. But man, do I want some Comics Curmudgeon gear.
Cafangdra
February 12th, 2007 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

Also: andreavis, you probably already know this but your husband is a cutie.
Bill Peschel
February 12th, 2007 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

What great hats! How’d you know Jayne’s mother?

(What great timing you’ve got. We’re moving through the box set and just saw that episode last week.)
Anonymous
February 12th, 2007 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

Have you ever tried to enziguiri a pontoon? They’re slippery, I tells ya.
Gabe
February 12th, 2007 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

Eep, not logged in here. That was me.
Ralelen
February 13th, 2007 at 12:14 am [Reply]

That is the gheiest shit i have ever seen.
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
February 13th, 2007 at 12:20 am [Reply]

14: Clearly, you’ve never clicked on any of Dingo’s links…
Red Greenback
February 13th, 2007 at 12:25 am [Reply]

Me ‘n’ “Peggy” invented a game called “bow tressling”. It involves a tub of “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Ghee”…Hail Chennux!
Hooper_X
February 13th, 2007 at 12:36 am [Reply]

FUCKING ROCKSTARS ON THE INTERNET.

you wish you were this awesome.

-hx
robo_rob
February 13th, 2007 at 12:41 am [Reply]

OUR AWESOME IS OUT OF CONTROL.
mumbles
February 13th, 2007 at 12:46 am [Reply]

FBOFW: In the third panel, Weed is rocking the mommest of mom jeans ever. Cripes, I haven’t seen a waistline that high since Greg Brady judged the cheerleading contest.
TB Tabby
February 13th, 2007 at 1:56 am [Reply]

Have you seen today’s 9 Chickweed Lane?!

Chennux won’t like this…
Red Greenback
February 13th, 2007 at 2:11 am [Reply]

TB Tabby—Thorax will suffer the excruciating pain and be humbled by the Mighty SKXCRITORT of Chennux! …And I will get sxkloppy seconds!!!
Red Greenback
February 13th, 2007 at 2:45 am [Reply]

Also “GOOCH” said “Peggy” can tag along to do her Chick Hearn play-by-play…
Nyssa23
February 13th, 2007 at 3:12 am [Reply]

Gadge, andreavis, those are some cunning hats.

And speaking of sci-fi…Meanwhile, in panel 2 of the 2/13 Rex Morgan, June appears to be receiving an incoming transmission from the mothership. That wacky Chennux!
TB Tabby
February 13th, 2007 at 3:17 am [Reply]

Curtis: Whoahboy. Not only have D & “O” trained pit bulls that can eat metal to kill and sicced them on Curtis, but now those same pit bulls have harmed police officers. If those two don’t end up in juvie when this is over, I will be royally boxcared off…but not surprised.
Dub Not Dubya
February 13th, 2007 at 3:29 am [Reply]

(DT)GT: I’m calling it right now: Tyler was gay-bashed. I want recognition of being the first to call it if I’m right.

A long time ago on the forums, someone posted a blurb from the GT website where it said the strip had dealt with controversial issues over the years, including homosexuality. I remarked that I couldn’t remember a gay storyline in GT. But then I realized that actually, the strip has quietly included gay relationships for years. It’s just that the art is so bad that no one has noticed that some of the couples were same-gender.
willethompson
February 13th, 2007 at 6:05 am [Reply]

#25 Dub – the art was so bad that the CHARACTERS didn’t notice they were same-gender.
yellojkt
February 13th, 2007 at 6:06 am [Reply]

I demand a Gadge-Gabe boat-off. This is the gayest group hug since Mike and Weed’s celebration “party.”
Calico
February 13th, 2007 at 7:32 am [Reply]

MT – if Mark and friend are going fishing, you know they might have to wrestle a boat or two, what with a 20-mile shoreline.
Or they will just have to be content with a mini-smackdown against the two gargantuan turtles, who also have learned to speak English like the super-geese.
Cafangdra
February 13th, 2007 at 7:44 am [Reply]

I’m in love with the thrilling turn toward fund-raising, the respectable alternative to actually practicing medicine and helping people, in “Mary Worth.”

Also, can someone tell me why I continue to obsessively follow “Edge City”? The characters aren’t likeable, it’s never funny, and it’s usually sort of mean-spirited and leaves an unpleasant aftertaste in my little mouth. The artwork’s pretty, I guess, but that shouldn’t be enough to justify this level of interest.
I suppose it’s storylines like this week’s, that focus on the HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE children that startle me out of my complacency and make me wonder: why?
Coffeeclash
February 13th, 2007 at 7:48 am [Reply]

A3G – What ever happened to fun Tommie? Magee sucked the life out of her, like the black hole of human interaction that she is. I wouldn’t be surprised if Margo actually spent the weekend in Milford, cold-cocking random basketball androids.
jules
February 13th, 2007 at 7:52 am [Reply]

That is an awesome picture. I’ve heard that sometimes, when you are a man, you wear stretchy pants…it is for fun. :)
jules
February 13th, 2007 at 7:55 am [Reply]

February 13, 2007

Dear Al Scaduto:
Junk e-mail is called “spam,” not “glop.” Just thought you’d want to be brought up to speed on that.
True Fable
February 13th, 2007 at 7:59 am [Reply]

MT The two giant turtles not only admire the lake, but they are able to articulate just what it is about it they like! See? They are even sending over the Jackelrod Ball for Mark to use as a floatation device.
A3G And the reason Margo doesn’t want to talk about the wedding she directed?…. well, some clever Curmudgeon called it earlier – she was doin’ the nasty for fees down at the docks, but she’s not going to let Tommie know. Tommie might want to horn in on the action and that would just scare off the potential clientele.
S4th Sally and Ted are about to get beamed up by aliens. Tomorrow – they get unceremoniously tossed back.
DT Sam Catchum, the only cop in history who is also a priest with a bowtie on his turned around collar. Proof that this man is way beyond confused.
GA and (DT)GT I understand now. Gasoline Alley took all of Gil Thorp’s plump rounded lines, and Gil Throp took all of Gasoline Alley’s angular lines, and both strips ended up with the 2 most butt-ugliest groups of people in the history of ever.
FBoFW Drum roll, please!
“Invite everyone, Mike… I mean everyone! Family, school buddies, guys from work…”
Brace yourselves, the Great Snark-O-Rama is officially kicked off! You know where this is leading, and honestly, they deserve one another. Not just Liz and Granthony, but the whole freakin’ family.
willethompson
February 13th, 2007 at 8:09 am [Reply]

Ahem. My plan (and all that it is, too):

1) Weed has his party in his loft.
2) The brood Patterson assembles to annoint Michael.
3) Invite ‘Carrie’ and spill some pig blood on her.
4) Do it on Sunday. I want to see it in color.
TB Tabby
February 13th, 2007 at 8:13 am [Reply]

All the Foobs in one place…this is a golden opportunity we can’t afford to miss! We have to reach Toronto by tomorrow so we can take them out in one fell swoop! TO THE CURMUDGEONMOBILE!
Calico
February 13th, 2007 at 8:15 am [Reply]

MW – could Mary be going all soft on us?
She actually asks Jeff “What do you think?” Instead of “You WILL come with me, and that is FINAL!” Please, Mary, stop sneaking Jeff’s pain meds. Don’t lose your firm meddlesome iron fist of Mary-Ego-Justice!
jules
February 13th, 2007 at 8:20 am [Reply]

Foob: “Invite everyone, Mike! Invite people you haven’t seen in years, so you can rub it in their faces that you’re a huge success! Which you are, because you’re a Patterson! Invite old girlfriends and say things like, ‘How do ya like me now? Booya!’ Just make sure you don’t invite your crazy grandfather, because he might embarrass you by saying to you exactly what everyone else in the room wants to say to you! And then they’ll say, ‘Yeah, Jim! I wish I’d had the courage and honesty to say that!’ And suddenly the party will be a celebration of Jim’s honesty and courage and verve! Which won’t be fair, because this is about you you you!”

A girl can dream, right?
Calico
February 13th, 2007 at 8:20 am [Reply]

FOOB – PARTY!
I hope Gwamps and Shannon will be there too, with music by 4 eva or whatever the “band” is called.
What the hell, bring all the babies as well, including Anthony’s kid, if he’ll unchain her from the playpen.
Hmmmm…an Ontarian FOOB-Fest – let’s get down with some tea with milk, Zwieback toast, and some Anne Murray records! Party on!
hogenmogen
February 13th, 2007 at 8:37 am [Reply]

I checked, and the moon isn’t blue. Dennis and Beetle are amusing today. Dennis actually did something menacing, and Gen. Halfwit mentioned armaments as if he were a soldier of some variety.

Marmaduke, however, is still a big dog.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
hogenmogen
February 13th, 2007 at 8:41 am [Reply]

Foob: Mike & Weed are acting like this PARTY! is going to be some raunchy, wild revelry with keg stands and loose women like Margo circulating around. They’re a little too old for that, and when you include family there’s a wet blanket right there.

Celebrate your new found success and still have a BYOB party. Yeah, that’s classy, dude.
andreavis
February 13th, 2007 at 8:41 am [Reply]

I’m guessing Mike and Weed’s book party will look a lot like my brother’s college parties– keg in the bathtub, an open bag of pretzels and chips with no dip, dinner plates used as ashtrays, and drunk people passed out on the porch couches. Nah, their party wouldn’t be that classy.
stinky pete
February 13th, 2007 at 8:48 am [Reply]

Beetle Bailey, the general’s wife says “Those who live by the sword, die by the sword.” They’ve been married for how long? 87 years? Has she always been a pacifist? Does she say this every time he goes “off to battle?” Is she just now noticing that he is in the army? Is she just now noticing that armies use weapons? Her comment is the least sequitur of any non sequitur she could utter in that circumstance. It would have been funnier if she’d said, “Pick up some milk and eggs on the way home.” No, wait, that would mean we’re reading Hagar the Horrible.

And since when does a general grab an automatic weapon and go “off to battle”? Does he really mean that he’s off to shoot rats at the Camp Swampy garbage dump?
Galactic Emperor Chennux
February 13th, 2007 at 8:49 am [Reply]

ATTENTION EARTHERS! IF YOUR EYES AREN’T BLEEDING NOW, THEY WILL BE IN A NANOSECOND! CHENNUX SPEAKS! AND, BOY HOWDY, DOES HE HAVE A PUNCH LIST! LEMME SEE…

RED G – GLAD THINGS ARE WORKING OUT WITH YOU AND “PEGGY” ARE WORKING OUT. IF PROPERLY STIMULATED, SHE CAN ALSO IMITATE VIN SCULLY. KEEP PRESSING THOSE BUTTONS! LITERALLY!

MOLE PREENER AND ANDREAVIS: WHERE DID YOU OBTAIN THE ZYNEXIZN FERTILITY NABOBS? AND WHY ARE YOU WEARING THEM ON YOUR HEADS? THAT’S NOT WHERE THEY GO! CEASE THIS SACRILEGE IMMEDIATELY!

#23 NYSSA23 – YOU HAVE OBSERVED THAT I AM IN CONTACT WITH THE ONE CALLED JUNE! WE ARE MERELY ADJUSTING HER PROJECTION CIRCUITS TO A HIGHER GRADE OF ‘NAGEL!” UNCLE LUMPY WILL EXPLAIN!

#20 TB TABBY – THORAX’S PLANET DECLARES WAR ON NEIGHBORING WORLDS WITHOUT A REASON? NOT EVEN CHENNUX IS CRASS ENOUGH TO DO THAT! WHAT DO YOU TAKE CHENNUX FOR? SOME SORT OF NEO-CONSERVATIVE WANKER FROM THE PLANET EXUZ-TAY???

END TRANSMISSION!
hogenmogen
February 13th, 2007 at 8:52 am [Reply]

JP: “I just don’t understand. This school director is talking gibberish to me.”
“That’s the French language, Neddy.”
“What?”

TDIET tries to prove that it was written within the past 15 years, by not only mentioning email, but mentioning EMAIL. I also like the upside down way the phone message comes out, and the fact that their answering machine is smart enough to speak in the vernacular “4 old ones”, referring to “4 old messages”.

The TDIET message implies “Don’t leave your house. Stay there and answer email and phone calls.” In addition, it’s not a real TDIET. A real TDIET would have shown nothing going on for weeks, then the two days Barfo and Migrania took off a load of messages, email and snail mail arrive, and they miss the most exciting episode ever of their favorite show (the one with the doctor and nurse who stare quizzically at each other for indefinite periods).
Hooper_X
February 13th, 2007 at 9:02 am [Reply]

re: #32: the sort of people who read plugglers/tedit/etc. still primarily consider spam a luncheon meat, not something that comes out of the computerbox.

you don’t want to confuse their fragile psyches.

-hx
lesles
February 13th, 2007 at 9:09 am [Reply]

#33 true fable – i don’t think marot’s “potential clientelle” get a chance to be scared off. by the time they realise what’s going on, they’ve been dragged from their bunks, off their ships and into the shadows to be planned to death. margot hasn’t got the time or patience to wait for them to go through that whole contacting her, running throught the various plan packages and custom touches, and negotiating a price, etc. she might actually find it handy to have tommie tag along. she could tidy up after, deal with the police, that sort of thing. sort of margot’s pa.
lesles
February 13th, 2007 at 9:17 am [Reply]

#46 – and i know that’s not how it’s spelt. and i meant “p.a.”
Howard Erk
February 13th, 2007 at 9:31 am [Reply]

So, is Mike going to get so hammered and stoned at Weed’s party that he will wind up in Granthony’s playhouse?
Coffeeclash
February 13th, 2007 at 9:42 am [Reply]

Public Service Announcement

In the spirit of the vital role played by this forum in fostering a broader understanding of the human condition via the comics, feel free to make use of the following mnemonic.

What is the difference between Gil Thorp and Night of the Living Dead?

Dead has an “e.”
Foobar
February 13th, 2007 at 10:06 am [Reply]

Mallard’s poesy is so misguided today it is inconcievable. I can’t contrive any way to make that scan. Also, it is embarrassingly stupid. “Take THAT, Hilary! Obama said it, not me!” Oops, that almost scans and thus misrepresents the strip.
booper
February 13th, 2007 at 10:07 am [Reply]

I’m beginning to wonder if a baby got our Dingo.
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 13th, 2007 at 10:11 am [Reply]

For the first time this century, there seems to be a war going on in Beetle Bailey. Not only that, but General Halftrack is grabbing a rifle to fight it himself. That’s a first since Appomatox, I’m pretty sure.

Or maybe he’s just planning to take permanent care of Lt Peachfuzz.
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 13th, 2007 at 10:17 am [Reply]

#45, Funny you should mention that. Today’s Ziggy is about getting spam from vegetarians. Yes, I think I am doing it justice.
Coffeeclash
February 13th, 2007 at 10:25 am [Reply]

#33 – The turtles appear to have spawned talking offspring as well. One appears in today’s SF.
britbike
February 13th, 2007 at 10:28 am [Reply]

The big celebratory party is BYOB. Really? The hosts are providing no booze at all? And how successful are we supposed to believe these guys are? I certainly wouldn’t attend without free liquor being promised, and I can’t believe anyone else would, either, being Canadian notwithstanding.
Frank Drackman
February 13th, 2007 at 10:28 am [Reply]

I know BB isnt real life and Mort Walker is a blithering idiot in any case but Officers dont usually carry rifles although noones gonna tell the General hes got the wrong weapon. I like that he apparently keeps his M-16 at home . Jeff looks like a lobotomized zombie in that first panel…I SO want to see his hot “Me so Horny” gf/hooker show up to tell him he might want Dr. Tran to check him for the H-IV…alas I know it’ll only happen in my fantasies…and whats with the “Peace Village” without an article in front of it? Meddlin Marys too busy to use proper English??
andreavis
February 13th, 2007 at 10:35 am [Reply]

To the Honorable Emperor Chennux: I assure you, I intended no sacrilege with my cunning hat! By way of atonement, I’d be happy to knit up a Zynexian Fertility Nabob for your skxcritort– you just need to send me your measurements. Do they make a ruler big enough for the job? ;-)
Dean Booth
February 13th, 2007 at 10:49 am [Reply]

#26. Good one, willethompson. And that’s true even if they’re nude.
AhClem
February 13th, 2007 at 11:08 am [Reply]

Don’t forget that this PARTY will be happening in St. Pattersonville. “BYOB” means “Bring Your Own Bread” — preferably white bread.
gh
February 13th, 2007 at 11:21 am [Reply]

Poteet –

Well, that last thread can’t have been pleasant for you, what with all the (DT)GT dissection, plus seeing it up there larger than life. Don’t be concerned that you might “start following” it, though. No one follows it. Staring in slack-jawed amazement/horror/disbelief is as interactive as it gets.
gh
February 13th, 2007 at 11:41 am [Reply]

A3G: Poor Luann! Tommie forgot to tell her she canâ€™t get food by simply talking to the microwave and now sheâ€™s starved to death!

(DT)GT: Okay.. Paris = man hands + striped shirt. Must remember. Too bad weâ€™ll never see her again. Actually, it will be a blessing.

JP: Neddy, Neddy. Waiting your whole life for a door. So young, so innocent. Such easy pickinâ€™s.

MT: â€œIâ€™m in the insurance business. How much is Andy insured for? I mean, if something should happen to him . . a fishing accident, say.â€

MW: Nice expression in panel one, Jeff. It has â€œWhatever you do, Mary, donâ€™t move your elbowâ€ written all over it.

RMMD: Oh, yes, absolutely. Little Miss â€œWho the *&!# are youâ€ would make a great receptionist. Iâ€™m tingling with anticipation.
Chromium
February 13th, 2007 at 11:45 am [Reply]

42, 52, et al – Is this supposed to be some sort of antiwar statement, or is Mort Walker just being senile as usual?

Panel 4 of today’s Curtis is just about the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
February 13th, 2007 at 11:45 am [Reply]

#57: You know those knit mittens that people sometimes snip the fingers off of? Just take one of the snipped-off finger bits – that’ll do for our Chennux.

Also, I should note that I am not responsible (park it and lock it!) for the Jayne hat: our friend Joanne (in one of the pictures) made both of them.

Also: The FOOB party will no doubt feature Pepperidge Farm cookies placed on doilies on faux-silver serving plates, and nice little cups of milk. God forbid anyone even bring alcohol – as they will no doubt fall over after two sips, set fire to something, and give Lynn an opportunity to go all moralistic about the unsaintly unPatterson and their horrible ways.

Finally: Does anyone else think a (DT)GT/Rocky Horror crossover would be a good idea? By “good,” of course, I mean “utterly terrifying.”
bootsybooks
February 13th, 2007 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

MT: Exposition turtles!

(DT)GT: The individual in the striped shirt is human, no? They call it Paris and it plays on the girls team, right? That’s a girl! omg OMG. I’m never having sex again. Not with men, not with women, nope. Paris roams the earth because a couple of drunk mutants weren’t careful after the prom, and that abomination was the result.

That’s it, I’m off sex. Goddamn you Gil Thorp and your creators. O sweet creamery butter, that WILL put a crimp in my Mardi Gras plans (not to mention a lot of other people’s too). Oh well, it must be done.
gh
February 13th, 2007 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

#63 Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener

And the milk will be served in wax paper Dixie cups.
HBGlord
February 13th, 2007 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

Curtis: Those straining for Black History Month content need look no further than panels 3 and 4. Notice the patronizing head pat (or, more precisely, hat pat) Curtis receives from Officer Duncan O’Donutz in the third panel, followed by a true enemy-of-my-enemy retaliatory moment in the fourth panel. Very Bull Connor in reverse — i envison a fifth panel where the dogs clamp down on some high-pressure firehoses and douse a few firemen.

The story eventually concludes with “Lucifer” and “Attila” (they clearly both belong to “Onion” as evident by the quotes on their names) giving a rousing speech on equality at the Washington Monument.
Ham Gravy
February 13th, 2007 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

Al Scaduto lives in Milford? Oh yeah-h-h-h!

http://www.connpost.com/localnews/ci_5205859
NOLA75
February 13th, 2007 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

FBOFW – I’m starting a grass roots campaign a la Tinsley to draft Lynn Johnston for FEMA Post-Disaster Spokesmodel Extraordinaire. She can compose inspirational pamphlets for the dispossessed. “Have you recently lost everthing in a tornado/hurricane/flood/fire/earthquake? That’s a real downer, man. But look on the bright side. Your old things were probably just tacky crap anyway. Now you get to buy all new stuff! Feeling any post-disaster depression? Don’t let it get to you, man. Just set up the MRE feed trough, rustle up some chairs and PARTY! After what you’ve been through it’s time to unwind!”
Had I only know getting over that damned hurricane was that easy….What’s the use of crying over spilt gris gris. See you Tuesday on St. Charles Avenue!
Galactic Emperor Chennux
February 13th, 2007 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

ATTENTION EARTHERS! LIQUIFY YOUR BOWELS IN DISMAY! CHENNUX SPEAKS!

#57 ANDREAVIS: THANK YOU FOR THE OFFER, BUT CHENNUX ALREADY HAS ONE! AND REGARDING ‘RULERS BIG ENOUGH FOR THE JOB,’ THAT WOULD BE ME! HAHA! I AM THE RULER BIG ENOUGH FOR ANY JOB!

#63 MOLE PREENER: YOU KNOW NOTHING OF SKXCRITORTS! CHENNUX’S SKXCRITORT POWERFULLY PROTRUDES INTO SEVEN DIMENSIONS! FOR INSTANCE, HERE IS A 6TH DIMENSIONAL MANIFESTATION OF A SKXCRITORT WITH THE FERTILITY NABOB IN PLACE! HAHA! THE WHISKERS TICKLE!!

END TRANSMISSION!
stinky pete
February 13th, 2007 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

56 Frank Drackman, please tell me you appreciate the irony of your last sentence.
willethompson
February 13th, 2007 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

#61 gh – re RMMD: YES! That’s exactly what I was thinking. And let’s take it one step further…

REX: And you want the meth hag, the one that looks and smells like the bottom of a bus station ashtray, to fill in for her?

JUNE: Oh, and Guillermo, the pharmacist? He’s moving to LA to take over weighing/measuring for the Somethingorother 13 (he said they offered him dental and everything!) so we need a replacement for him, too! Niki mentioned this guy named Elvis who has a lot of experience with retail medicines and he’s be able to step right in!
Smitty Smedlap
February 13th, 2007 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

#26 willethompson in response to #25 Dub not Dubya — same gender? The art in (dt)GT is so bad that the characters aren’t even sure they’re the same species.
kilgore trout
February 13th, 2007 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

RMMD, dept. of excessive exposition:

“Bet you didn’t know Ginny Tate is getting married next week.”

“Ginny Tate, our receptionist at the clinic? (or Ginny Tate, our dental hygenist? or Ginny Tate, the clerk at the grocery store? or Ginny Tate, our mail carrier? or Ginny Tate who works the toll booth on the interstate? Margo it, woman, which Ginny Tate do you mean?)”
Lammergeier13
February 13th, 2007 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

BYOB?! Honestly, Michael? I thought this party was supposed to be a celebration of your new wealth, not another display of your dickish miserliness, complete with ‘food trough’!!
gh
February 13th, 2007 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

#71 willethompson

“And we’ll put Niki in charge of the coatroom and Eightball can work security.”
Drewbob
February 13th, 2007 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

Is it just me, or has Weed looked suspiciously like Yoko Ono the past couple of days? Bad hair, turtle neck, bad glasses, random shouting. It’s all fitting in. Maybe he’ll appear naked on Michael’s book cover.
Dennis Jimenez
February 13th, 2007 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

RMMD – I sort of like the ring to the phrase, “…husband to-be has been….” Rex is something of a has been, himself, ignoring Congress and the shocking LACK OF UNIVERSAL HEALTH INSURANCE COVERAGE.
Old Fogeyette
February 13th, 2007 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

MT: I’m more and more impressed with LoFo. Not only can the turtles there talk, they can measure things too!
cinephile
February 13th, 2007 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

FOOB– Of *course* the party is BYOB– as sunday’s Valentine’s strip reminded us, the Pattersons become enraged at having to pay for anything. I can just imagine someone asking for a beer at the party, and John shaking his head mournfully and offering an aphorism to his children about the selfishness of others. I swear, Elly and John are the Canadian, middle-class versions of Richard and Emily Gilmore.
Ten Day Dinosaur
February 13th, 2007 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

Okay, so I was reading a book on noted cartoonist Wally Wood (he didn’t do much for the dailies, but worked with Eisner and was one of the big names), and I discovered a softcore porn comic sent overseas in WW2 to horny GIs. It’s titled Sally Forth. Will someone with a good connection and some spare time find out if there’s a connection? … Either way, I nearly choked on my bagel.
Moon Mullins
February 13th, 2007 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

80: Ten Day Dinosaur:

I think rather than any connection, it is just another logical name for a cartoon woman based on the expression “sally forth”, which means to venture out or go forward.

Other examples of cartoons named in this manner could be “Hi and Lois”, “Baby Blues”, “Andy Capp”.
Little Guy
February 13th, 2007 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

Curtis: I’m a-hoping the Mad Dogs of Doom break the fourth wall and start to chew and attack the other comics.

First stop: Mike’s Celebratory Pah-TEE!
gh
February 13th, 2007 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

#80 Ten Day Dinosaur

Gooooogle doesn’t think so. #81Moon Mullins is most likely right.
rich
February 13th, 2007 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

RMMD: Nice little ’stache there on June, panel two.

So when exactly did Madame Hitler plan to inform Rexmo that in less than a week they’d be without a receptionist?

And can Meth Mom realistically be healed of her injuries — not to mention de-skankified — in so little time??
gh
February 13th, 2007 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

#78 Old Fogeyette

Turtles gotta measure and geese gotta fly.

(Nice one on the COTWRU too!)
rich
February 13th, 2007 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

FBOW: Kudos to dreadedcandiru2 for yesterday’s correct prediction. It does indeed appear that Weed’s party will be the vehicle used to effect the union of that coital monstrosity known as Elizthony –

“Invite everybody, guys from work, your school buddies, guys from the aforementioned school buddy’s workplace who have unrequited crushes on your sister…”
HBGlord
February 13th, 2007 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

#86 — Let’s hope the invite list also includes “careless chainsmoking former downstairs neighbors” and “oily rags.”
Saxman
February 13th, 2007 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

84

Medical clinic receptionist? Meth lab gofer? What’s the diff?

I would think there would be very little overlap but as I understand it, RMMD is crafted by folks with input from medical professionals.
rich
February 13th, 2007 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

TDIET: Ever happen t’ you? Ya return from vacation and there’s a huge stack of mail, answering machine messages, email glop…and 1000+ Comics Curmudgeon postings to slog through!

“I’ll come t’ bed right away, honeybun … soon’s I pick a COTW (…in, oh, about three hours…ack-k-k-k!!!)”

Thanx to — Josh, “that Internet”
HBGlord
February 13th, 2007 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

90 — Don’t you mean, as in Scaduto’s original, “the phone’s answering machine”? I know he’s 78 and all, but who outside of an Oliver Sacks case study needs that kind of exposition?

“Honey, be a lamb and check the answering machine, would you?”
“Do you mean ‘the phone’s answering machine’ or ‘the
hat rack’s answering machine’?”
HBGlord
February 13th, 2007 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

I mean #89 — like Erich von Zipper, i accidentally gave myself the finger!
sevenyearlion
February 13th, 2007 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

There actually is a high school in Pennsylvania called State College High School. It’s named after the town of State College, which is the town surrounding Penn State University. Their school color is that same kind of maroony-brown that these shirts are. In my years attending Penn State, I never heard of any boat wrestling team at the high school (nor did I see any boats) but I did see a bunch of shirts of a similar design proclaiming the wearer’s allegiance to the school’s track or football team. Here is a link to their football website where you can see their colors.
Frank Drackman
February 13th, 2007 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

#70 So are you sayin I dont talk good? So sue me I learnd english from Brady Bunch reruns…
Mibbitmaker
February 13th, 2007 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

FOOB:
Michael: “Ah, Weed, this is one nice party. Hey, here comes Gordon. Hey, Gord, wecome to the party! As I was… what? Paul?? What’re you doing her– …KORTNEY? ERIC?! HOWARD WITH AN ANKLE MONITOR?? Oh, no… the KELPFROTHS?! Warren…really?!”

Weed:“Gee, Mike, I can’t imagine it getting any wors–”

Michael: “Now who the hell are those people… and dogs… and….”

Bucky Katt: “Hey, we all thought, when you invited everyone, you meant like that ‘Blondie’ shindig a couple years ago.”

Margo: “Hmph! I could’ve catered this yawnfest better!”

Andy Capp: “Where’s th’ bloody booze?! …Wankers don’t know ‘ow to throw a bloomin’ party!…”

(Michael buries his face in his hand as Snoopy does his nose-in-air, flapping-feet dance in the foreground)
Dave
February 13th, 2007 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

67

Emilio Squeglio?
reader-who-posts
February 13th, 2007 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

So, Michael, Weed is going to invite all of your friends and family to the PARTY! Given the history of the FOOB-iverse, doesn’t that mean that there will be about 8 people there, including one that can’t walk or talk and 7 that you (well, we) wish couldn’t?
Hooper_X
February 13th, 2007 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

LESS TALKING ABOUT FOOBS MORE TALK ABOUT HOW AWESOME ROB AND GABE AND I ARE.

(mule!)

-hx
reader-who-posts
February 13th, 2007 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

#94 – I’m sure the Lockhorns will come so that Mr. Lockhorn can dance with Elizabeth while wearing a lamp shade on his head, and Mrs. Lockhorn makes some depressing comment to Granthony, scaring him off the idea of marriage ‘4Eva’. At least I hope.
Michael L.
February 13th, 2007 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

Today’s FBofW: I’m grudgingly willing to live Lynn some credit for avoiding a more awful last-panel pun:

“We’re talking past tense, Mike!–And future perfect!”
Nyssa23
February 13th, 2007 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

#97 HooperX–I was totally going to post about the awesomeness of you and your lucha libre posse.

However, over in the previous thread I seem to have just become Galactic Emperor Chennux’s newest consort, and you know how jealous he is. So I’ll just wave, a little bit, from over here.
AwfulArt
February 13th, 2007 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

“A professional writer is an amateur who didn’t quit.”
Richard Bach
Islamorada Girl
February 13th, 2007 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

And so many should have quit while they were ahead. . .

Death to Michael Patterson and all his kin.
Pendragon
February 13th, 2007 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

#73 – “June, do you mean the Ginny with two n’s in her name or the one with three n’s in her name?”
John C Fremont
February 13th, 2007 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

I’m coming down with something, so I gotta go medicate myself and go to sleep after working all day (I’m not proud – I’ll take all the sympathy I can get) but I just HAD to catch up on comics first. Unfortunately, I can’t afford to read all of the posts from the last 2 threads, as is my custom, before adding my comments… so please forgive me if I’m repeating something that’s already been covered.

MW – Okay, so I doubt if anyone has said this yet, but Dr. Jeff in today’s first panel – I finally got around to watching Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter last night, and I’m pretty sure Jeff is doing his impersonation of Jesse’s large, dumb friend. Or maybe it’s a fever dream.

RMMD – June in panel 1 – pretty sure she’s getting ready to say, “Well, duh!” Dammit, I LIKE JUNE! Not like I like Abbey and Neddy, but…

JP – I’m glad Neddy changed berets before today’s musical number. “Things look swell! Things look great!” Actually, I want to think she’s doing a Fosse number, but I just don’t have time to do the research. I need sleep. And meds. And a medication/fever induced musical dream featuring Abbey and Neddy – in Paris! (Written, produced and directed by Bob Fosse.)
John C Fremont
February 13th, 2007 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

The musical number will be called Metricule!
Poteet
February 13th, 2007 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

# 60 — gh, thanks for the sympathy. I’ve decided it’s time to grow up and quit whimpering about (DT)GT. From now on, I snark about it or keep quiet, after peeking at it through trembling fingers.
Charlotte
February 13th, 2007 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

40 (hogenmogen) Based on the relative girth of the Patterson clan – one would think that BYOF (bring your own food) would be a much cheaper option than BYOB.
Charlotte
February 13th, 2007 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

107 cont.
The Pattersons never cease to amaze me with their logical deductions . . . guess you don’t really have to think things through when you have a horseshoe rammed up your ass where your soul should be
Dicky
February 13th, 2007 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

Slylock – For one about to die at the dawn of life, the baby turtle is taking it pretty well…

Luann – I knew it! This is going to be a large story arc with Army Brother getting discharged by the military through “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”

PBS – I loved the 2/12 strip. If I could fit on one of those kiddie rides, I would so be there.

Curtis – Wow, that is some horrible condescension on the part of the officer, I mean, doubting the poor, harried young man’s account and patting him on the head, as though he has the authority to invade Curtis’ personal space. The dogs are remarkably effective in the resultant disciplinary action. I wonder if the police will blame Curtis for their injuries.
Darn it… HBGlord, 66 got there first…

RMMD: 61, 71 (gh, wille): With that kind of hiring scheme, June could have the roads of whatever city (?) they live in cleaned of all of those “bad elements.” I daresay she should go into politics if not for the fact that she’d get shot down as a bleeding heart so-and-so.
Red Greenback
February 13th, 2007 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

Thanks Chennux! In the throes of our sweet,sweet lovemaking I somehow managed to push one of her “buttons” which resulted in her doing a pitch-perfect Phil Rizzuto…”Holy Cow! , That one’s outta the park, Mr. G!”…And does “Peggy” know her way around a kitchen?…Just gotta say, her PETA pockets can’t be beat!

Oh yeah, the comics thang…That walker in Crankshaft has got me buggin’ out like that Twilight Zone episode called “The Fever” where Franklin (Everett Sloane) is lurked by a talking slot machine.
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
February 13th, 2007 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

#81: So how come FOOB isn’t called “Godbutt Wesuck”?

Also, this is so utterly mindboggling that I can’t even say how to describe it, but, uh, the “real” Spider-Man, not the daily strip? Let’s just say…uh…“Like a spider, crawling up inside your body and laying a thousand eggs of cancer…I killed you.â€. Gaah.

(Damn, I need a snappy signoff phrase like that Chennux dude. Any suggestions?)
Anonymous
February 13th, 2007 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

#94, I love that party. The only thing that could make it better would be Uncle Duke showing up, spiking the punch with horse tranquilizers, then taking Granthony out back for a game of William Tell.
stinky pete
February 13th, 2007 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

#111 GCMP, “Gadge, out!” is too derivative. How about, “Bring down the curtain, the farce is over” (Rabelais); “Either that wallpaper goes, or I do” (Oscar Wilde); “Let’s do it” (Gary Gilmore); “Strike the tent!” (Robert E. Lee).

#67 Ham Gravy, this article is great. Scaduto in Milford! The man is 78 years old (which explains a lot)! Let Curmudgeonistas everywhere pray he never retires.
Nyssa23
February 13th, 2007 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

#111 Gadge–The horror. The unspeakable squidgy horror. Suddenly, Gwen Stacy’s looks like an enviable death.

Hey, as far as the signoff line, here’s a few ideas:

“Hasta luego, baby”
“I’m off like a prom dress”
“Places to go, moles to preen”
“Go, go, Gadge exit”

…Well, in all fairness, I didn’t say they were good ideas.
Red Greenback
February 13th, 2007 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

You may be asking…Who is this Everett Sloane person?

Sloane also worked extensively in television; he was the voice of Dick Tracy in 130 cartoons produced in 1960 and 1961. Beginning in 1964, he provided character voices for the animated TV series The Adventures of Jonny Quest. He reportedly wrote the unused lyrics to “The Fishin’ Hole”, the theme song for The Andy Griffith Show. He starred as the ruthless businessman in both the film and television versions of Rod Serling’s Patterns.
Sloane committed suicide at 55, reportedly depressed over
oncoming blindness..Hence the FW/ ’shaft crossover…It’s a small world, afterall!
Red Greenback
February 13th, 2007 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

Voila! your preening is tres magnifique! That’ll be $67.50, Mammozelle.
Red Greenback
February 13th, 2007 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

Huh?…Scaduto’s a MILF?…Ohhh, Noooo-o-o-o-o!!!…My brain just went KA-FLOOEY!!!
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 13th, 2007 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

In case anyone was dying of curiosity, I’m the “Anonymous” from comment #112. And I would like to point out that I wasn’t wishing for Granthony to actually take a bullet in the head. Soiling himself would be funny, though.
Mickey Dugan
February 13th, 2007 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

The “Beetle Bailey” drones had no way of knowing that a gunman would let loose at a Utah mall the same day they did a strip about what comical fun guns are. Still, as my brain threw up from the connection, the thought occurred: “You know, maybe guns really aren’t that funny…”
The Syrup Council
February 13th, 2007 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

Most Esteemed and Elevated Galactic Emperor Chennux:

We’d been told by your attorneys that you could be contacted here, as you regularly “monitor” this site’s “transmissions.” We at the Syrup Council would just like to express our undying gratitude for your ongoing clever (and, we must say, creative) promotion of our product. (Not incidentally, syrup sales in this galactic quadrant have risen 7.3% this past quarter! Our special waffle-shaped hats are off to you!)

As a token of our extreme, we’d like to extend to you an offer: we will send you 50,000 barrels of crude syrup per annum (as far as our best scientists can determine, that is equal to approximately 189.737083 metric xvbrtilxz – or using the old-style Enzglxicrt system, 251 hoxgatyz, 17 gruts, and 3 and one-half fzrthxngs); in exchange, you will shower the one Earthlings refer to as “Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener” with vast sums of wealth.

We hope you are pleased by this proposal, and we thank you once again for all you’ve done for what we call “The Golden Drippy Stuff of Life.”

As you’d say, “end transmission”!
Red Greenback
February 13th, 2007 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

I know, I’m all over the map here, but “Peggy” does this awesome Superintendent Chalmers thing! OK, sleepy night -night for RG.
TB Tabby
February 13th, 2007 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

111: Bleah. Comic books are in a sad state, aren’t they? All the superheroes are just sitting around angsting, brooding, fighting amongst themselves, dying, getting raped, or some combination thereof. Enough of this “edgy” crap, comic book industry! Listen to the little stuffed bull: COMICS OUGHTA BE FUN!
The G-Man
February 14th, 2007 at 9:24 am [Reply]

Revalation! I finally understand: Judge Parker, as we have long suspected, exists on some bizzarre Earth, in a parallel universe! I cannot believe it took me this long to figure out that the boy has what we, in our sane, sensible universe, would call a full ride wrestling scholarship. It’s possible that the vast majority of their world is covered in water, and the main method of transportation is by boat, giving rise to the term “to boat” meaning to get someplace. Most intriguing. Clearly, more study needs be made.
rich
February 14th, 2007 at 10:56 am [Reply]

115: Everett Sloane was also in a little thing called Citizen Kane!
alamo
February 14th, 2007 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

i thought it said “Goat Wrestling Squad” in which case i would want one.

sign me up for one of those funky hats though!!

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