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Sinister baby

Marvin, 2/14/07

There’s been something increasingly disturbing to me about the rage-a-thon that’s been building up in Marvin all week. Our titular enormous-headed baby has been alternately standing defiantly in the corner with his back to us and turning around to mug for the viewer, but I think this is the first time that his face has been such a transparent mask of evil and hate. Watch out, mom and dad: now that he has the ability to walk upright, he also has his hands free to kill.

Mary Worth, 2/14/07

I’m beginning to believe that this bedside conversation will go down in Mary Worth lore as the Great Meddle of 2007. Some might whine about how long and drawn out and boring it is, but that’s precisely the point; we’ve been privileged to watch Dr. Jeff’s will be slowly broken by degrees. Look at how he’s squirming around, clutching the bed handle in the first frame, adopting the universal Victorian “vapours” pose in the second: he’s like a particularly fascinating insect trapped under an entomologist’s pin, and there’s no escape for him.

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 15, 2007 at 08:38 am and is filed under Marvin, Mary Worth.

212 responses to “Sinister baby”

Old Fogeyette
February 15th, 2007 at 8:42 am [Reply]

I’m all-powerful! I can make threads end just by posting in them! No sooner did I “Finally say it” in the previous thread than this new one magically appeared!

Woohoo! If you ever get bored with the direction of a thread, give me a call!
monkey.dave
February 15th, 2007 at 8:45 am [Reply]

It took Mary Worth about two days to go from “I’m going to Vietnam” until she was browbeating the staff at her hotel. She’s up to a week and a half at slowly crushing Jeff’s spirit. By the first of March, she’ll have Jeff personally putting Agent Orange into the orphans’ kool-aid.
Anonymous
February 15th, 2007 at 8:46 am [Reply]

Wow – numero dos!
Mary has done it; she now has Jeff in her Talons for good. I wonder if she has a Mary Worth Book of Spells, or if she just works her black magic on the spur of the moment.
anne
February 15th, 2007 at 8:48 am [Reply]

third?

i just wanted to say that I kind of liked TDIET today. In panel 2, “Mother”’s butt rams up against the table, and it’s nicely drawn, with so much attention to detail: the candies (or whatever they are) are spilling all over, the lamp is about to fall down.
Black Card
February 15th, 2007 at 8:48 am [Reply]

I ought to be shocked at the white void of nothingness that is Dr. Jeff’s hospital room. But I think it’s a good way to represent the emptiness that Mary wants to make him into.

Plus the artist got probably got lazy.
Calico
February 15th, 2007 at 8:48 am [Reply]

Actually, numero tres!
I wiped out my cookies this AM. Back to being Calico. Mew.

MT – I’m very disappointed that there are no large rear-end-balloon-speak critters today. Just Cherry’s teeny tiny hand holding a glass of Porto!
Debt On
February 15th, 2007 at 8:49 am [Reply]

That’s a daunting sentence Mary’s spelling out there. It looks to me like in that last panel Jeff heard her say ‘a year’ and started looking around for the nearest suicide machine.
daryljfontaine
February 15th, 2007 at 8:49 am [Reply]

“A year? But I want to beat people up right now! I got the pajamas!”
Lynngineering
February 15th, 2007 at 8:50 am [Reply]

MW: He really is squirming, I am sure the artist is also tired of showing directions from left and right, soon we will have top views and from out in the hallway or something.
Isn’t Mary’s clothing progressively enveloping her in black? Is she already mourning Jeff? The way he thinks to himself “a year”, do we really have to read past this panel to understand the implications of what is to come… Jeff, it’s a year plus infinity, as this is Mary Worth for Gods sake. It could be worse, it could be stuck like FOOB is going, into endlessville.

Marvin: I never thought to write on Marvin,but yeah, he is evil, in that, isn’t he a Dennis the Menace counterpoint, in a sort of DC vs Marvel comics way?

FOOB: Man, this is all waaay interesting Luvy, giving Weed some lessons in the basics of economics as a landlord capitalist of the future. Wow. This is surely the sign that Michael is in DEEEP coma, and hardly dreaming anymore… just in autodrive. We await Lovepocalypse with baited breath.
Anonymous
February 15th, 2007 at 8:50 am [Reply]

Hail the All-Powerful Old Fogeyette!

I read your last post and thought I’d better check. Sure enough!
Pozzo
February 15th, 2007 at 8:51 am [Reply]

At least when Dennis the (no longer so much of a) Menace gets put in the corner, he gets a rocking chair to sit in. I think Marvin is now seriously re-thinking his move to bipedalism.
gh
February 15th, 2007 at 8:51 am [Reply]

#10 was me. Too excited, I guess.
hogenmogen
February 15th, 2007 at 8:52 am [Reply]

Today’s rants:

Mallard – It’s past Valentine’s day, so knock it off. Also, I appreciate your instigation of partisan wrath by invoking a guy who hasn’t been in office for over six years. No WMD? Old news. Oh, Bill Clinton had an affair? Hot topic!

Why is Spidey’s head in the crime boss’s microwave?

TDIET: Sucks. We’ve seen several variations on this theme, and none are funny.
Didja ever notice? Scaduto thinks other comics are the pits…
“Those young whippersnappers don’t know a thing!”
But looka how he larfs over his own…
“Ha ha ha! This is – yuk-yuk! – great! Loopina contradicts herself! Loopina is such a funny name, too! Haw haw! etc…. ”

Gil Thorp: I didn’t know you could get beer from a photo copier. I’ll have to check that one out today.

Mark Trail: “You were underwater demolition for the army.”
“Yeah, I did some foolish things back then. Now I tell everyone I know never to serve your country. What a total waste.”
Isn’t underwater demolition the providence of special forces or naval personnel? I could be wrong on that.
I also may point out that in panel 3, it is revealed that MT lives in a giant beehive, no doubt built by 20 ft bees.
Krazy Kat
February 15th, 2007 at 8:53 am [Reply]

Why does Josh never comment on Henry?
Is it because he has no mouth?
Where’s the love for the little bald kid?
t.a.m.s.y.
February 15th, 2007 at 8:53 am [Reply]

This is why it’s important to listen to psychics. Otherwise, third-world children may live past the age of 8.
daryljfontaine
February 15th, 2007 at 8:54 am [Reply]

#11 – Pozzo – Even now the little red-haired demon is plotting his “Pet Sematary”-esque hamstringing of those meddlesome adults.

Sometimes, dead is better (than syndication).
Doctor Chinbeard
February 15th, 2007 at 8:56 am [Reply]

Just wait until Jeff finds out about Mary’s role in Aldo’s demise. Then the Great Meddles of 2006 and 2007 will coalesce into a supernova of cosmic biddyness.
hogenmogen
February 15th, 2007 at 8:56 am [Reply]

Marvin – I just can’t help but think that at the end of the week, there’s going to be a yellow stain in that corner.
Calico
February 15th, 2007 at 8:56 am [Reply]

#13 – yeah, Hogen, I thought that would be the jurisdiction of the Navy SEALs, most of whom are probably Marines as well.

Bring back the jumbo quadripeds!

Wondering what Cherry and the other wifey will do to amuse themselves while the menfolk wrestle boats.
John C Fremont
February 15th, 2007 at 8:57 am [Reply]

Old Fogeyette, I am in awe! I was in the middle of responding on the last thread that I thought I was the one with this almost Chennux-like power to end a thread merely by commenting – but, much like The Highlander, there can be only one.

Please remember, though, that with great power comes great responsibilty. Use your power wisely!
Michael L.
February 15th, 2007 at 9:00 am [Reply]

Mary : Dr. Jeff :: Annie Wilkes : Paul Sheldon?
The Photocopiest
February 15th, 2007 at 9:00 am [Reply]

MW: “These children don’t need a doctor, Jeff; what they need is a bake sale!.

Also, while you were away, I killed a man.”
Lynngineering
February 15th, 2007 at 9:02 am [Reply]

FOOB: It now becomes clearer why the Valentines D-Day got deferred in the time-space screwup that is FBOFW: Michael lost the plot again – in the midst of his COMA-DREAM, he has returned to the scene of the crime, the HOUSE that was where it all started, his run up to save his novel, and subsequent coma, and his fantasy that the novel is important, he is important and so on. Weed occurs to tell Michael subtly – not like Grandpa Jim “BOXCAR”ing Michael- subtly, hey man we should Party…but first, let’s go look at the old house that I am going to purchase and REDO, that house you lived in and where….something happened Michael… And notice Michael is quietly being led in the last few strips. He isn’t sure anylonger around this Weed person who is guiding him. “Huh…Party?” he seems to say…”Uh, house, you’re buying house?” and so on…

The D-Day is just deferred, its going to be like leading horses to the trough.
anne
February 15th, 2007 at 9:03 am [Reply]

18. hogenmogen — if he’s there all week, there will be more than yellow stains in that corner. if his parents aren’t even letting him use the bathroom, maybe he should be plotting his revenge.
Non-Shannon
February 15th, 2007 at 9:07 am [Reply]

Oh, what has become of me?!
I just woke up this morning next to my significant other and realized that I had actually used MARY WORTH (the comic, not the biddy) to illustrate a problem in our relationship. He seemed to finally get it after I resorted to that–hence the fact that I woke up next to him–but now I feel dirty.

In case you were wondering, I remarked that, like Mary Worth, he’s always getting my hopes up just to dash them later in the most boring and frustrating ways possible, just like when I got all excited that Mary was going to Vietnam, only to watch her spend the entire time hovering over a hospital bed.

Somebody kill me now.
Drewbob
February 15th, 2007 at 9:09 am [Reply]

Todays MW proves my belief that Mary is nothing more than a gaint case of syphilis. There is no cure, you simply get used to dealing with it.

Also, I refuse to believe that Neddy is in France. She’s been there at least a full day now and I’ve only seen 1 cigarette the entire time.
Justafoob
February 15th, 2007 at 9:12 am [Reply]

Well, isn’t it Loverly.

The Kelpfroths nearly burning down the neighborhood has reaped benefits for all.

Well, except for the Kelpfroths.

I just hope they can take their broom into the hyperbaric chamber.

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!
willethompson
February 15th, 2007 at 9:18 am [Reply]

#12 gh – premature posting is a problem, but not the scourge it used to be. I find that if I think of baseball players, or Mary Worth…
Red Greenback
February 15th, 2007 at 9:23 am [Reply]

# first! Old Fogeyette- It’s a deal!

#320 willethompson-It’s a deal!
zenbowl
February 15th, 2007 at 9:24 am [Reply]

If I were Dr. Jeff, I’d be concerned about how none of the tubes from any of the Vietnamese hospital machines are going into my arm. Not to cure me, mind you, but to put me out of my misery. I’d be pressing that morphine button like a telegraph operator on meth. But something tells me even that wouldn’t end the Wortherrogation.
Saxman
February 15th, 2007 at 9:25 am [Reply]

Curtis

OK, a few days ago when I suggested that an invisible monster from Flyspeck Island might save the day I was *kidding*. Or at least I thought I was.

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070215&name=Curtis
ianscot
February 15th, 2007 at 9:26 am [Reply]

2/15 Mark Trail:

Last week we learned that Mark spent time in the army.

This week we learn that the Army has a Navy seals unit, his friend having served on “an underwater demolition team when you were in the army.”
AeroSquid
February 15th, 2007 at 9:29 am [Reply]

Hold onto that NVA captured US Army bed railing Dr. Jeff ! It’s gonna be a wild ride and Mary Worth is at the controls !
Saxman
February 15th, 2007 at 9:32 am [Reply]

Peanuts

OK, this is a genuine on-line/hard copy disconnect situation (not like all the previous false alarms).

The Peanuts in my hard copy of the Houston Chronicle is all about Snoopy catching pneumonia and his beagle relatives agthering at his (possible) death bed. The on-line version is about Linus’s cowboy hat.

You know, we don’t talk about Peanuts much around here, but it is amazing how up-to-the-minute topical it remains. And old Sparky deserves our admiration for (it appears) killing off one of his most popular characters. What a wakeup call for all of us to get our pneumonia vacination. Sure, Lynn killed off her popular pet years ago, but let’s face it: Farley never had his own Macy’s parade balloon.

What? Oh!

Never mind.
Pelagius
February 15th, 2007 at 9:33 am [Reply]

More information on the “US Army Underwater Demolitions Unit” can be found on the internet.

Slightly off topic, but a retired Navy Chief here at work tells me he was stationed at a Naval base in Europe where the Navy provided the ground security, Marine aviators provided air security, and Army patrol boats secured the water.
hogenmogen
February 15th, 2007 at 9:34 am [Reply]

I like the way that the nurse in Mary Worthless refuses to show her face from sheer embarrassment of being an extra in this rotten strip. Maybe Giella has acquiesced, and acknowleged that he can’t draw an Asian face, and is now just using contrived methods to get Jeff & Mary the hell out of that unholy place filled with non-caucasians, like movie people use to cover private parts in nude scenes.
Lyman Returns
February 15th, 2007 at 9:35 am [Reply]

FBOFW-2/14-Thanks for clarifying that you’re talking about “Lovey Saltzman”, Weed. That way Mike won’t get confused, seeing as how he knows a billion other people named “Lovey”. Who the boxcar is this “Carleen” that Weed mentions? Are we really supposed to know who the Saturn he’s talking about? Not all of us are up on the Byzantine interrelationships of your wretched characters, LJ.

TDIET-That girl looks like she’s at least in sixth grade. Does any 6th grader really call their mom “Mommy”?

Mary Worth-”I accept that, Jeff” translated into Biddy means, “You’ll come back to this third-world hellhole over my dead body, you mindless sack of flesh! You are mine, and mine alone, to control! Mwah-ha-ha-ha!!!” Wow, if the KGB was still around, they could use the last two weeks of ‘Mary Worth’ cartoons as a how-to guide on breaking the wills of people.

Family Circus-What kind of psychotic OCD kid has the patience to scribble and scribble until a pen totally runs out of ink? I tell you, he’s one step away from typing up reams and reams of paper that say, “All work and no play makes Billy a dull boy.” LOCK HIM UP WHILE YOU CAN!

PreTeena-What kind of stupid boy checks the “Yes” box without knowing which girl sent it to him? Putz. Always do your research before letting someone know you’ll be their Valentine, fool!
Pelagius
February 15th, 2007 at 9:35 am [Reply]

Holy cow! I thought I was joking, but indeed you can sign up to be an Army Diver (MOS 21D), among whose duties include blowing crap up underwater.
Saxman
February 15th, 2007 at 9:37 am [Reply]

Pipgorn (help!?)

I love Pipgron, which now seems to consist of stunning drawing crossovers with 9CL, and dialogue mostly (or entirely?) ripped off from the Great Bard.

http://www.comics.com/comics/pibgorn/archive/pibgorn-20070214.html

I even bought the trade paperback. But I started late. How did the theme move from a cute fairy, her human lover, Satan, and killer bees to trendy looking (if partially disrobed) socialites and an alien.

Not that I’m complaining, mind you. Just curious.
Coffeeclash
February 15th, 2007 at 9:38 am [Reply]

#38 – sounds like Extreme Boat Wrestling.
Clifford Kuhn, M.D.
February 15th, 2007 at 9:40 am [Reply]

Every time I read Mary Worth I invariably wonder, “If someone took random snapshots of me would I be caught in such strange physical contortions and facial expressions?”
Coffeeclash
February 15th, 2007 at 9:42 am [Reply]

#37 – More information on Carleen Stein can be found on the Internet. She is categorized as a Minor Wretched Character.
Saxman
February 15th, 2007 at 9:42 am [Reply]

32 Mark Trail

If the MT dailies are set shortly after WW2, then Mark and his sneaky friend must have served somewhere around the Spanish Civil War (well before the SEALS and for all I know, before the SEABEES too). I’m thinking more like the dawn of underwater demolition warfare. “Recruits? Who can hold their breath a long time and likes playing with firecrackers?”

The next scene will possibly show him out in the boat with Mark. He opens his tackle box and takes out a foil-wrapped stick of C-4. He considers his collection of detonators and asks, “How deep is the water here?”
Ran
February 15th, 2007 at 9:43 am [Reply]

The navy has UDT, or Underwater Demolition Teams, who do a fine job of blowing up things under the water. Although the Army Corp of Engineers probably has some people who can do the job, it seems a bit odd.

Mary Worth is now trying to sabotage health care for vietnamese orphans. I bet she has a pair of wire cutters in her purse for snipping the spokes on wheelchairs.
texlebeauf
February 15th, 2007 at 9:45 am [Reply]

A year in the lavender-scented, musty embrace of the white-haired demon in her eldercare complex, haunted by the ghost of Aldo Kelrast (and probably Mr. Greenjeans, too) or a hellish prolongation of his third-world fever dream leading inevitably to his own death, screaming; any sane man would choose the latter. But no sane man would have been trying to get his ashes hauled with Mary Worth in the first damned place.
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 15th, 2007 at 9:46 am [Reply]

#13 Hogenmogen, Mallard may be tiresome, but he knows his audience. Some people will never forgive Clinton for, well, being a Democrat and getting elected anyway.

FW: Class rings=ring tones. Ah that’s rich. It’s, its… Tom, you can go back to being depressing now.

SM: Do LA crime bosses really look like pot-bellied retired gangsters. I thought even their mafia dons went on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

Archie: Could come up with some much better word balloons for this seqence
“Daddy, not again!”
“Veronica, sweetie, this isn’t what it looks like.”
gh
February 15th, 2007 at 9:50 am [Reply]

#43 Saxman

Maybe you’re right. Maybe that’s his idea of “fishing” since he’s never done it before.

Hey, Dan! Try anything funny underwater and you’ll have to answer to the beavers!
ImyourHuckleberry
February 15th, 2007 at 9:51 am [Reply]

#39-Saxman

Pibgorn has been illustrating “A Midsummer’s Night Dream” for some time now, with modern-day characters. The portion he is currently showing is the play-within-the-play of Pyramus and Thisbe. (That’s why they are on stage.)
anne
February 15th, 2007 at 9:52 am [Reply]

39. saxman: it looks like they are doing the play-within-a-play from Midsummer Night’s Dream. But I can’t figure out why The Duke Of Athens is that weird alien dude from 9cl.
anne
February 15th, 2007 at 9:55 am [Reply]

48 huckleberry: jinx. buy me a coke.
andreavis
February 15th, 2007 at 9:55 am [Reply]

#37-Lyman- in all fairness, Mike could have assumed they were talking about Lovey Smith, coach of the Chicago Bears. Knowing how clueless and self-absorbed Michael is, Weed probably needed to remind him that other people exist AND were affected by the fire (cough*kelpfroth*cough). Not in Patterson Family=Not Worth Caring About, you know?
Joe
February 15th, 2007 at 9:56 am [Reply]

I’ve gotta say this Mary Worth storyline is pretty disappointing after all that buildup. Which is kind of like saying the garbage you just ate is a little funky after all that ketchup you put on it.
bobbaloo
February 15th, 2007 at 10:04 am [Reply]

Gil Thorpe has taught me many things. today it taught me that you can photocopy a bottle of soda
dave
February 15th, 2007 at 10:04 am [Reply]

#13 Hogenmogen: My favourite part is that that Mallard Fillmore has angel wings, but no duck wings.
John C Fremont
February 15th, 2007 at 10:06 am [Reply]

# 37 – I’m afraid to admit it, but I know who this Carleen is. God help me, I know who Carleen is!!

On the plus side, I only learned this a few hours ago when I went to the Foob site to learn more about Weed. God help me, I went to the Foob site to learn more about Weed!!
FootFace
February 15th, 2007 at 10:17 am [Reply]

MW: We all know what’s coming, right? I mean, you did see “Misery,” didn’t you?
gh
February 15th, 2007 at 10:21 am [Reply]

A3G: Luann? Thatâ€™s because theyâ€™re the flowers you just painted! Just because you look away for a second doesnâ€™t mean something â€œmysteriouslyâ€ appears when you turn back around. Why do I get the feeling that anything you put in the microwave ceases to exist to you when you close the door? Then you remember you’re hungry, grab a Hot Pocketâ„¢ from the freezer, open the microwave door â€“ and thereâ€™s one already in there! And itâ€™s hot! Spooky!
fishmorgjp
February 15th, 2007 at 10:23 am [Reply]

Why doesn’t Marvin’s neck snap under the weight of his huge, hydrocephalic head already?
hogenmogen
February 15th, 2007 at 10:29 am [Reply]

Comments have been made about the glacial pace of Mary Worth contrasted to real time. However, it is a documented scientific fact that Judge Parker has duly earned this ignoble prize. I did some research, and here’s the timeline as far as I can tell:
Day 1 begins in May with Randy’s secretary leaving him, continues with the discovery of Sophie’s homework outsourcing, and culminates with Ragu’s visit.
Day 2 features Judge Parker himself announcing retirement, Randy discussing running for the soon-to-be vacant post, and Horace getting annoyed that he wasn’t consulted yet, though the campaign is only hours old. Somehow, Reggie Black hears about that he won’t be running against the illustrious Judge Parker, but the young and inexperienced son, Randy Parker, and somehow this angers him. Meanwhile, the girls take Ragu shopping, go to a party and Ragu lands a job with an admitted boat wrestler – full boats, too.
Day 3: Abby and Neddy go to Paris and the Reggie Black campaign implodes. Aunt Rachel’s butler/lover is sick, and calls “the agency” for a replacement. The replacement arrives, but probably won’t include servicing the madam as part of his duties. Neddy goes out on the town.
Day 4 – and this is where we are today – Neddy wakes up with a hangover and goes to a pretentious school, only to realize that she doesn’t know a damn word of French.

The point I’m driving at is that less than four days have elapsed in nine months.
Coffeeclash
February 15th, 2007 at 10:36 am [Reply]

#57 gh – This is supposed to be yet another spiritual manifestation. Pretend this is FOOB and suspend disbelief.

Luann’s current love interest may only be a ghost, but she is still way ahead of her roomies; Margo’s is a reflection, and Tommie’s is a delusion.
hogenmogen
February 15th, 2007 at 10:37 am [Reply]

Several comments have also been made (including mine) about the existence of the US Army Underwater Blowing Stuff Up Unit. What I found weird wasn’t the unit, but how the guy is so derisive about it, like joining the service was such a young and foolish thing to do. The armed forces has a history of cleaning up young and foolish people. They avoid life mistakes like cooking up silly scams like the one he’s about to launch on Mark. I got news for you, Grifter, pull your con on someone who doesn’t live in his father-in-law’s house on a nature preserve. The guy writes fish stories for a living and only owns one set of clothes. How much coin are you going to score here?
cheech wizard
February 15th, 2007 at 10:40 am [Reply]

Hogenmogen – The problem is that the characters in Judge Parker are actually Pierson’s Puppeteers from Larry Niven’s Ringworld series, transporting their home planet to a new solar system at neat the speed of light. Due to relativity, nine months to us appear to be only four days to them.
Al Scaduto
February 15th, 2007 at 10:43 am [Reply]

#13 hogenmogen

Yep, theyâ€™ll do it every time. Every freakinâ€™ time. And every time they do it, I’m going to tell you alllll about it alllll over again. Every. Single. Time. Because that’s what I”m here for. I don’t want anyone to feel he didn’t get his full measure of reading pleasure. See you ~~every~~ next time!
teegee
February 15th, 2007 at 10:46 am [Reply]

MW: I can’t wait for Mary to start calling Jeff “Mr. Man,” then hobbling him and telling him it’s for his own good.
IdolsofMud
February 15th, 2007 at 10:47 am [Reply]

Mary Worth is still in fullblown Soultaker mode, but Jeff’s spirit remains trapped in his body. Someone call Joe Estevez.
Saxman
February 15th, 2007 at 10:49 am [Reply]

62

That *would* explain Abbey’s sudden changes in weight. And maybe the strange color changes as the red shift varies every time they swing by a black hole and shed velocity and mass.
Calico
February 15th, 2007 at 10:50 am [Reply]

#42 – I love this from Phil’s entry on Wiki:

Elly’s younger brother, a trumpeter and music teacher known for being as adventurous and high-spirited as his sister is anxious and stress-prone.

At least he got some distance away to one of the coolest cities in the world. I think Elly and Mary Worth are morphing. But even Mary can meddle on an international scale – not sure if Elly has those skills, at least yet.
dreadedcandiru2
February 15th, 2007 at 10:56 am [Reply]

FOOB: Today we see a genuinely funny strip based on actual knowledge of the subject at hand.
All right, whoever’s drawing this: who are you and what have you done with Lynn Johnston.
A Friend
February 15th, 2007 at 10:57 am [Reply]

Confidental to Non-Shannon (#25) Your husband sounds like a classic passive- aggressive. Get help before he drives you over a cliff saying, “What turn?”
John C Fremont
February 15th, 2007 at 11:09 am [Reply]

# 69 – No, no. Everyone knows that what you say when driving off a cliff is “Oh, no…” while clutching your Old Friend Johnny.
Squawk
February 15th, 2007 at 11:12 am [Reply]

Marvin doesn’t say why he’s being punished, leaving us to surmise that it has something to do with his styling his hair defiantly to look like Robert Smith of the Cure circa 1984.
cheech wizard
February 15th, 2007 at 11:13 am [Reply]

66 – Ah, yes, I neglected to account for the red shift. Though the increase in mass would explain why they are all so dense.
Craigers
February 15th, 2007 at 11:17 am [Reply]

#53 : Gil Thorpe has taught me many things. today it taught me that you can photocopy a bottle of soda

I don’t understand what you mean – how do the rest of you make new soda?

#69 : Your husband sounds like a classic passive- aggressive. Get help before he drives you over a cliff saying, â€œWhat turn?â€

“Can you just check over there to see if there’s a guardrail on that side?”
rich
February 15th, 2007 at 11:17 am [Reply]

12: “Also, while you were away, I killed a man.”

COTW!
Escalator Temporarily Stairs
February 15th, 2007 at 11:18 am [Reply]

# 8: “A year? But I want to beat people up right now! I got the pajamas!â€

I feel Ed Gruberman is not wholly wrong. I want to boot some head, too.
Lyman Returns
February 15th, 2007 at 11:18 am [Reply]

#58 Fishmorgjp-I’ve been wondering the same thing about the denizens of ‘Peanuts’ and ‘Family Circus’ for a long time now. Oh, and Mike from FBOFW, too.

#42 CoffeeClash-Ahhhh, you took me down with you! I followed the link! God help me, I FOLLOWED THE LINK AND READ ABOUT THE MINOR FBOFW CHARACTER KNOWN AS CARLEEN! ARRRRGH, I am WRETCHED, absolutely WRETCHED, the most hated and vile of ALL MEN!

#55-John C. Fremont-It’s OK, I know all about Carleen, now, too. I am coping thus far.

#51 Andreavis-Yeah, what DID happen to the Kelpworths, anyway?

FW-Is there any rhyme or reason to the last week’s worth of cell phone and computer-related hijinks? I mean, it’s cool that Batiuk is 110% more down with modern technology than the vast majority of his cartoonist brethern, but blast it, Batiuk, you’ve got to take it that extra step further and make it FUNNY, man!
Craigers
February 15th, 2007 at 11:20 am [Reply]

2/15 Mark Trail : I find myself wondering what sort of “foolish things” an underwater demolition team gets up to. “The worst one was when we set off that boat full of explosives next to the U.S.S. Cole! Boy, was my face red!”
Laura c
February 15th, 2007 at 11:22 am [Reply]

“I did some foolish things when I was young, back in that underwater demolition unit…”
…blowing up the USS Maine in Havana harbor, yep, that was me…
…introducing zebra mussels to the Great Lakes, yep, that was me…
…sinking all those ships in the Bermuda Triangle, yep, ‘fraid that was me, too…

Meanwhile, Apartment 3G is starting to resemble Down a Dark Hall.
NotThatGuy
February 15th, 2007 at 11:25 am [Reply]

Anyone noticed the longer Mary harangues Dr. Jeff, the healthier and mightier he looks?

And I can’t wait ’til he realizes how much cheaper it will be to convalesce in India vs Charterstone…
Len
February 15th, 2007 at 11:25 am [Reply]

#48 — “Modern day” — only if you define the 1940s as “modern.”

The rude mechanicals performing “Pyramus and Thisby” are all young women because the young men are all conscripted in the Army, fighting the Nazis.
Gabe
February 15th, 2007 at 11:26 am [Reply]

Other services CAN do underwater demolition, but yeah, it’s normally Navy EOD.

And no, SEALS are not ever, ever Marines and would probably slap you for suggesting it.

Salty Seaman Gabe
gh
February 15th, 2007 at 11:27 am [Reply]

How is it I know exactly who Carleen is, a character I haven’t seen in months, yet have no recollection of who was at Paris’s party yesterday in Gil Thrp? [Every time someone adds a vowel, I'm taking one away. Tough love.]
rich
February 15th, 2007 at 11:30 am [Reply]

This is clean-out-the-desk-drawer week in Funky Winkerbean — no continuity, just random “gags” that Batiuk’s had no real use for but which were apparently too good to waste. To review:

Thurs.: A pun on “Class ring tones” (class meaning “classy”? I don’t quite get it)
Wed.: “Would you like to join us in taking the test?” (Oh, this one is a real knee-slapper!)
Tues.: “Come to the front of the class and text message everyone”
Mon.: “Mr. Kablichnick’s not a genius.”

By the way, Mr. Kablichnick seems to be going for a 1983-era Prince look. The hair, at least.
TB Tabby
February 15th, 2007 at 11:44 am [Reply]

Aren’t you glad Mary Worth never met Albert Schweitzer?
Mountain Mama
February 15th, 2007 at 11:44 am [Reply]

I used to read a lot of horror/suspense novels when I was a teenager, but nothing chilled me to the bone more than today’s MW. “If it’s up to me, you’ll never know.” That struck a cold, numbing fear in my heart.

Jeff needs to fake another coma until she goes away.

Maybe Mary is the Borg. Jeff’s been assimilated.
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
February 15th, 2007 at 11:46 am [Reply]

(DT)GT makes much more sense if you rearrange the panels from different strips at random, remove all the dialogue, translate it into Babelfish French, then reinsert the translated dialogue at random. Or at least, it provides a curious simulation of what a sports-obsessed “Zippy the Pinhead” might read like in French: I present five panels of “Gilles Theaurpe.”
SixFootJen
February 15th, 2007 at 11:55 am [Reply]

It’s official: “comparing the current Mary Worth plotline to ‘Misery’ ” is the new “mentioning that Aldo looks like Captain Kangaroo.” Duly noted, people!
Chromium
February 15th, 2007 at 11:57 am [Reply]

#5 – I ought to be shocked at the white void of nothingness that is Dr. Jeffâ€™s hospital room. But I think itâ€™s a good way to represent the emptiness that Mary wants to make him into.

And with that line it occurs to me that this entire sequence is like the hospital scene from “Dellamorte Dellamore.” I hope the next strip features Jeff shouting, “I don’t know you! GOOO AWAAAYYYY!”
Lammergeier13
February 15th, 2007 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

foob: Oh, great. The extreme Jewish stereotype is back, perfect. So, wait, there was still a house left after the fire? ‘Cause the picture in the first frame makes it look as though there’s just an empty lot, with a house in the vague background.
HBGlord
February 15th, 2007 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

gh, in the previous post you, Kate and NEW-ME were bantering about a couple of the finer burgs in the Palmetto State (Florence’s slogan: “It’s not Sumter”). I’ll have you know that as a child in the ’60s and ’70s i spent many a long, hot summer in Sumter, as my mother was wise enough to escape after high school but not wise enough to transport her mother with her to safety, hence my almost annual pilgrimages. (Oh, yes: My grandmother’s house was flanked on two sides by a cemetery — her land is currently part of said graveyard. Made for a fun playtime, let me tell you.)

I was last in Sumter in 1997, and they’d acquired real classy chain motels and restaurants and everything. Wonder if they still have any remaining Catholics, though. When i would go to Sunday Mass there in the early ’70s, they barely had enough for a minyan.
Lammergeier13
February 15th, 2007 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

jp: Oh, french SNAP!

9cl: She’s out of ideas again.
White Rabbit
February 15th, 2007 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

I have a friend at work whose son actually was an Army diver. He did some foolish things, too, like trying to carry his dive knife through airport security. I’m glad to report he’s out of the service now.
NEW-ME
February 15th, 2007 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

HBGlord – I am happy to report that not only are there remaining Catholics but they are building a new Church – and School (k-12) along with a retirement center, on hgy 521 They are combining St Anne’s and St Jude. The money is supposedly rolling in! Sumter is growing, When I first came here they did not even have a mall! (maybe that was a good thing) BTW I am being held hostage by a job, and grandchildren!
Howard Erk
February 15th, 2007 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

You KNOW that Liz is going to have to go back to court to testify and you know once she sees Howard she is going to get all wet and horny. To the point where Granthony wouldn’t know what to do with her.

Masturbation in the courtroom thy name is Lizardbreath.
smacky
February 15th, 2007 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

Can we all remember that Mary started worrying about Dr. Jeff not answering her calls in OCTOBER?!?

Mary’s beside conversation is already twice as long as the entire span of Aldomania 2006.

Sigh.
Ham Gravy
February 15th, 2007 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

It’s a shame Mark can’t trust his old army buddy Dan. It’s also a shame that Mark apparently doesn’t notice that mustache on Dan’s face, which is proof positive of his evil intentions according to the ECLF (Established Convensions of Lost Forest). So what is the dastardly scam that Dan and Sally are going to pull on Mark? Andy hasn’t been kidnapped yet this year, so maybe that’s it. Or perhaps they intend to team up with a dirty politician to put an international airport in Lost Forest? Makes some sense, what with that casino being right over the mountain or behind the lake or just past the giant squirrels or somewhere like that. Or maybe they intend to harvest Mark’s organs and pass them off on the black market as bear spleens. Oh well, whatever it is, we should find out by July.
HBGlord
February 15th, 2007 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

#93: That’s interesting, NEW-ME — St Jude’s is the church i would attend, as it was within walking distance of my grandma’s. For sure i though by now any remaining parishoners would have to tele-worship online.

Sumter isn’t as picayune as you’d think; it has sustained a minor league basebal team, affiliated in the ’70s with the Houston Astros and in the ’80s with the Atlanta Braves.

My sister, a born-and-bred New Yorker, recently relocated with her family to Columbia (which is where most of my Sumter relatives have also moved). Must be the better malls in the capital city.
Michael L.
February 15th, 2007 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

#56: I did, yes. See #21.
kingklash
February 15th, 2007 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

“The best defense is a good offense. You know who said that? Mel, the cook on Alice.”
compass rose
February 15th, 2007 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

#86
Gilles Theaurpe! C’est magnifique!
Cornwhacker
February 15th, 2007 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

I’m still hanging onto the hope that this Mary-Worth-in-Vietnam storyline is going somewhere. Sure, they’ll go back to the States this time, but maybe they’ll return next year! A year will give Mr. Giella plenty of time to retire and be replaced by someone who can actually draw Asians. I want the setting to shift to Hanoi permanently, so we can watch Mary & Jeff dine out on the Pho Boat and befriend Vietnamese versions of Chinbeard & Toeby.
Cornwhacker
February 15th, 2007 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

In Canada, it’s spelled Thourp.
lexy
February 15th, 2007 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

“The Great Meddle of 2007″!!! A t-shirt to replace “Aldomania 2006″!!
Jym Dyer
February 15th, 2007 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

=25= I, on the other hand, made the mistake of saying, “I’ll deny you, Missy!” and woke up alone.

=34= Peanuts Classics runs on two tracks, I’m not sure why. The Houston Chronicle and comics.com only publish one track, and the other track shows up in certain newspapers.

=61= Maybe Mark Trail’s articles make him seem wealthier than he really is. Perhaps his editors fluff up his essays with product placement for the advertisers, and The Evil Pornstache (whoops, wrong strip) wants to get his hands on the latest titanium boat-wrestling gear.
SteveRoper
February 15th, 2007 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

Ham Gravy #96, re MT: No, if it’s the same story as in 1983, and so far it’s an identical rerun (see Discussion Forum :MT for a synopsis), it’s just 2 months, so it should be over before July — unless Elrod sticks in some new scenes.
gh
February 15th, 2007 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

#105 SteveRoper

Oh, yeah? Did they have beavers back in 1983? Huh? And otters? Say it ain’t so, Elrod!
AhClem
February 15th, 2007 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

#86 Gadge,

I don’t speak or read a word of French, but your version of Gil Thorp is far more comprehensible than the real one. Shoes for Industry, compadre!
Poteet
February 15th, 2007 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

# 8 & 75 — Bwahaha!

Johnston takes decent comic strip
Makes it dreadful instead!
Now the strip will go on, she says –
Give her a boot to the head!

MT — I have racked my remaining brains and cannot figure out how some nefarious scheme in LoFo could bring in the big bucks, though a few wild ideas have come to mind. One of them — will Evil Moustache set up some underwater peril, using his Army experience, deliberately injure himself thereby, and then sue LoFo with the idea of acquiring it and selling it to a developer who will turn it into LoFo Estates, an upscale subdivision for the discriminating executive who demonstrates his/her deep appreciation of nature by building a McMansion right on top of it, accompanied by a new personal fake pond (created by destroying a rare wetland or trout stream, of course) and a gigunga mowed chemical-intensive lawn? (Not that I’m bitter.)
Old Fogeyette
February 15th, 2007 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

Well, I just submitted a word to the Urban Dictionary. Non-comics related, but a word I have used my whole life and for which no really good substitute exists. Thanks to whoever mentioned it!
Ham Gravy
February 15th, 2007 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

SteveRoper #6: Ha, I guess Elrod thinks that his readers from 1983 are all deceased by now. If this all ends up with Mark kicking Dan’s ass, and then drinking coffee at the kitchen table while giant ducks make comments outside, I’ll be satisfied.
Poteet
February 15th, 2007 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

# 105 — SteveRoper, I beg your pardon. I was multitasking while writing that last comment, and it took so long that only when I entered it did I see the latest comments, including the one in which you have already predicted what the MT plot will be, and I bet you’ll be right. Since it won’t put LoFo or adorable beavers or bears in peril, I like it. Also, I have only seen the Righteous Fists ‘O Fury, or whatever they are called, once since discovering CC, so I look forward to seeing them again.
benro
February 15th, 2007 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

#109 – Are you going to tell us what the word is, or am I going to have to read through 700 comments to figure it out?
Saxman
February 15th, 2007 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

101 Mary Worth in a year

I expect the “Mary Worth back in Vietnam after a year of fundraising” story line to pick up about the same time I buy my first flying car.
Old Fogeyette
February 15th, 2007 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

Omigosh! I finally got around to reading today’s comics! And, and…

MT: Yay! Theodore to the rescue again! Mr. Moustachioed villain is going to do something evil under the lake, like drill a hole and let loose bottled up carbon dioxide (which actually killed hundreds or maybe thousands of people in Africa a few years ago, but not from a villain’s drilling), but before he can do so Theodore and/or Castoria will swim up behind him and use their sharp orange beaver teeth to chew a hole in his air line, and then hold him underwater until he drowns. They will later take his bloated carcass back to their den, where their children can feast on it.

RMMD: I’ll bet that’s not all that’s rubbed off on her over the years.
Old Fogeyette
February 15th, 2007 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

112 benro: The word is “Bletch,” and it’s used as noun, adjective or verb for any blemish, blotch, blot, spot, especially one that’s unidentified or you can’t think of the word for. Examples: “Ugh! I have a bletch on my forehead.” “Who bletched the new tablecloth?” “I can’t turn in my homework, the dog bletched it.”
migellito
February 15th, 2007 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

crankshaft: Hehe.. she’s embarrassed about using a walker, so she shuts the windows first… lol.. hilarious! I just love laughing at old ladies with walkers! Haha!

At least it’s not FW, where she’d undoubtedly end up dead because of it.
benro
February 15th, 2007 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

#115 – Excellent!! I will be working that one into my conversations now.
John C Fremont
February 15th, 2007 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

# 115 – Thanks! I was afraid you might use your thread-ending powers before telling us the word you submitted… but what if the thread is ending even as I type? Noooo!!
Trotzenbonnie
February 15th, 2007 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

#115 – Not to be confused with Blechh! – the Mad all-purpose interjection. Although you could say “Blechh! That’s a big juicy bletch on your forehead!”
Coffeeclash
February 15th, 2007 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

#117 – Such as, “Somebody hit me, and there’s a bletch coming out of my ear!
AhClem
February 15th, 2007 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

RMMD – Rex and June have been getting hot and bothered in the kitchen for several days now. Meanwhile, Starfish-hair boy has tied up Widdle Sawah, locked her in the closet, and is headed out the door with the flat-panel TV, a case of Rex’s Cuban cigars and June’s digitally-controlled vibrator.
gh
February 15th, 2007 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

#115 Old Fogeyette

I warned Dan about the beavers (#47), but I’m not sure what they can do about insurance fraud. Maybe they’ll see him swimming away and be called as witnesses?

Judge’s Gavel: Theodore Beaver, does your tail swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

Theodore’s Tail: I do, Your Gavel.
B
February 15th, 2007 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

#77: I think you mean the USS Maine, as it’s been previously determined that Mark and buddy served in the Spanish-American war.
Herro!
February 15th, 2007 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

JP: The French don’t necessarily hate Americans. They learn English because the English don’t learn French before coming. I visited a northern coastal town in August 2005, and the locals treated me with disdain before they found out I wasn’t English. After that, they didn’t care where I was from. I don’t blame them. The English came to Roscoff in droves and were extremely rude.

Parisians, on the other hand, were really pleasant and polite. I believe Americans hate the French way more than the other way around.
John C Fremont
February 15th, 2007 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

Bletch is a great word for that thing on Lovey Saltzman’s face. Actually, bletch is a great word for Lovey Saltzman. In fact, bletch you Lynn Johnston!
Tweeks_Coffee
February 15th, 2007 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

GF: Rob, apparently, requires the largest gloves ever manufactured to clean up some cat barf. Though I am going to have to start using the phrase “gastronomic correction” whenever possible.

Curtis: Who guessed that Gunk would be taming the dogs? Because you win a cookie.
Trotzenbonnie
February 15th, 2007 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

Curtis – Exercise, check. Discipline, check. Now affection. Gunk is the new Dog Whisperer.
gh
February 15th, 2007 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

#111 Poteet

I don’t know. I thrill to imperiled beavers, as long as they aren’t too imperiled. And get to look all confused and stuff. Itâ€™s as much fun as Big Thunder Mountain Railroad at DisneyWorld! I donâ€™t like imperiled bears, though. Thatâ€™s just not funny.
Jimmy Sparks
February 15th, 2007 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

#127

Hail! Cesar aGUNKus!
Abbey the Wonderdog
February 15th, 2007 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

Rex only gets hot and bothered in the kitchen when one of his “buddies” is over.

June leaves him a bit cold, if you know what I mean.

BARK! BARK! BARK!
Fred P.
February 15th, 2007 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

I’ve been sort of enjoying Marvin lately. And that’s not the sort of thing I say very often.

As he’s been sitting in the corner this past week, the back of Marvin’s head is rendered in my local paper as a blank expanse underneath his unruly locks. This affords me the opportunity, after finishing the Jumble and before moving on to the crossword, to idly doodle fiendish caricatures of Marvin’s face in the empty space.

I find this much more rewarding that actually reading Marvin.
Drinky
February 15th, 2007 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

Does it not look like Mary is about to put on her Liberace records then get out the rope, 2×4, and sledge hammer?

“My penguin always faces due south, you dirty bird.”
Prehumous
February 15th, 2007 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

Fred P.

Leprosy would be more rewarding than actually reading Marvin.
Sheilagh
February 15th, 2007 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

Am I nuts?

Who else reads the funnies in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette? I read ‘em this morning, and several of them seemed to come sequentially BEFORE the ones I read yesterday. For example:

* FOOB — Weed is telling Mike that he’s buying Lovey’s house, like it’s new information. But the three of them were already discussing it yesterday or the day before.
* Curtis — today he’s running from the dogs and diving into a taxi. But yesterday Gunk seemed to have the dogs flummoxed.
* Cathy (and possibly one other strip?) had a Valentine’s Day gag. Valentine’s Day was yesterday.

Anyone else notice this? What gives?
Teem
February 15th, 2007 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

Read every day, but I’ve never commented before and probably never will again, because I’m ashamed to admit to reading comics.
Anyhow, I think Mary Worth is among the undead, come to steal Jeff Cory’s soul.
Have you ever seen her reflection in a mirror?
Bet you she doesn’t put garlic in her dreaded tuna casserole.
Look how pale she is. My guess is she sleeps on a bed of soil taken from the flower gardens at Charterstone.
John C Fremont
February 15th, 2007 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

I don’t want to beat a dead horse… not that I want to beat a living horse either – look, my stance on horse beating is don’t do it, ever! Live or dead, just leave ‘em alone. Dead ones can be turned into glue, but absolutely no beating! Wait, let me start over.

I don’t want to, uh, repeat things that have been, uh – okay, sorry, I can’t get over yesterday’s Plugger home security system. Crikey! I appreciate the Big Lebowski reference (I do, after all, pattern my life after The Dude’s teachings, aside from my strict “no bowling” stance) but I’m thinking more that along the lines that this is the sort of thing you do when you hear Sam Jackson and Vinnie Barbarino outside your door talking about foot massages. In that case, that’s not a Plugger thing to do, that’s just common sense. But – I know lots of (sigh) “Pluggers” in real life, AND THEY HAVE LOCKS ON THEIR DOORS! Aaauugghh!! I’d like to give that Brookins guy a Plugger Knuckle Sandwich, which is the same thing as a regular knuckle sandwich, ’cause no one uses the term “knuckle sandwich” except for those Margoing pluggers! Boxcar! Saturn!

Sorry, it’s just that this particular Plugger strip just reeeally got on my nerves. Really, sorry. End the, uh, transmission and stuff.
Groddeck
February 15th, 2007 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

#134 – I haven’t seen an explanation or an apology, but the Post Gazette ran the the 2/15 version of those comics on 2/14. After seeing the discrepancies with the chron.com ones I checked the dates on the ones in the newspaper and they were marked as 2/15. It’s a shame they don’t run Gil Thorp; they could mix those up for decades and no one would notice.
Groddeck
February 15th, 2007 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

#137 – No charge for the extra “the”, by the way.
hogenmogen
February 15th, 2007 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

#134 – Sheilagh “Am I nuts?”
Yes, but I think your paper printed the comics out of order, too.

#135 – Teem – Yeah, we all had our moment of embarrassment in coming to terms with the lame comic reading admission. I once got drunk and outed myself to my wife. She was ok with it after a while. We won’t tell the neighbors, though. So, you stuck your toe in, and felt the warm water. Stick in your whole foot. Then you’ll be swimming with the sharks like the rest of us.
gh
February 15th, 2007 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

#135 – Teem

Ashamed? And you work for a newspaper? I thought it was pretty good snark for a first-timer. I’m with hogenmogen on this one. I still haven’t come out to my family, though. They’re all about news and sports.
doug rogers
February 15th, 2007 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

Maaaan! Is that Curtis ever lame! I would never have seen this strip at all if it weren’t for you curmudgeons… I blame you all. To have been lifted to such great heights of anxiety and anticipation, looking forward to blood, body parts, atomic bombs destroying Philadelphia only for this flat letdown… What? Is that kid showing them his canines?
Saxman
February 15th, 2007 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

91

(9cl: Sheâ€™s out of ideas again.)

One day Thorax’s planet declars war on Earth (and everyone else), the next day the cat is playing.

I think the artist just got really into sweeps week. it could happen to anyone.
John C Fremont
February 15th, 2007 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

# 135 – Teem, don’t be ashamed of reading the comics. I’m not, and I obsess over all things Abbey and Neddy, and wish I were in Paris with them right now, and – Oh crap, I am ashamed. Still obsessed, though. And keep commenting. As Dave Death said to Bob Newhart from the elevator in that one episode, “Room for one more.”

And you (and Idolsofmud from earlier this morning) are right about Mary. Personally, I’m waiting for Robert Z’Dar to show up.

And now I’ll shut up for awhile.
hogenmogen
February 15th, 2007 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

Neddy: Everyone keeps saying “Say la ‘V’.” What is “la ‘V’”? “Lovey”? Look, I just came here for the French kissing and cheap merlot. I also figure that since Frenchies don’t shave, I’d have no competition for guys, since I wax from the neck down. Yeah, you heard me right, ALL of it.
Sheilagh
February 15th, 2007 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

Thank you, Groddeck! I guess I could have checked the little dates myself, but it didn’t occur to me when I still had the paper in front of me…

Durn Post-Gazette! Never will I forgive them for dropping the Piranha Club, though their killing Zippy ALMOST made up for it.
Sheilagh
February 15th, 2007 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

14, Krazy Kat: There are papers that still publish Henry????
Dollar Steak
February 15th, 2007 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

So Gunk is the dog whisperer… that doesn’t begin to explain what that substance is on Curtis’s hat in panel 1, and I’m not sure I want to know what it is, either…
gh
February 15th, 2007 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

#144 hogenmogen

You didn’t say that! She’s a minor! Well, maybe not technically, not in France at least, but still.

I wonder how long she’ll be in France? Anyway. Where was I?

Oh. And you wonder why Teem is embarrassed (what was that? em-bare-assed? *snort*) to associate with us. I know I am.
Groddeck
February 15th, 2007 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

#147 – I’m guessing that stuff on his hat is either bletch or gunk . . .

(A royalty check to Old Fogeyette in the amount of $25,000 Canadian is in the mail.)
MossMoses
February 15th, 2007 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

It’s too bad there are no Jewish saints because, oye veigh, does Lovey Saltzman ever qualify. Could they make an exception just for her? How about appointing her to honorary Patterson Associate Sainthood? She didn’t bother to consult with her real estate agent or put the house on the market but just sold the place cheap to Weed because she likes Michael and him. So Weed is going to fix it up and become a slumlord. What a shluhmeel! Is that distinctive wart on Lovey pre-cancerous?

Whoever predicted the Curtis episode so perfectly yesterday deserves props.
Moon Mullins
February 15th, 2007 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

91, 142:

Brooke McEldowney, artist and writer of 9 Chickwood Lane, is a man. So it will be tough for her to be out of ideas.
Anonymous
February 15th, 2007 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

#141 – No, it’s rather that Gunk is a highly unnatural being, like Wilbur Whateley in The Dunwich Horror. His mere existence scares the living *expletive* out of creatures like dogs that can sense his unnatural nature.

“It was Gunk’s twin brother, but it resembled the father more than he did.”
commodorejohn
February 15th, 2007 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

#152 was me, BTW.
cheech wizard
February 15th, 2007 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

Moss – I made the call on Curtis yesterday, but I’m afraid I can’t take too much credit for it — because I could swear Billingsly’s pulled the same stunt before. Probably several times. Is there anyone out there with more time and research skills than I who might be able to locate those previous episodes where Gunk’s tamed wild dogs that were threatening Curtis?
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 15th, 2007 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

Anyone else catch The Phantom today? I’m thrilled that they got Grady from “Sanford and Son” to do a cameo.
Old Fogeyette
February 15th, 2007 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

117 ff.: Thanks! I’m so glad my “bletch” found favor. It was invented in the early sixties by my younger sister, who, in the Funky Winkerbeanverse that is my life, died a couple of years later. But I have always felt her spirit lived on in “bletch,” which was not only adopted by my family (all now dead), but by many of my friends (only some of them dead).

Bletch is pronounced as it is spelled. I believe BLECCCCHHHHH has a “kh” sound at the end.

I love the DTGT reference; yes, that is definitely a bletch coming out of his ear! And no question that Lovey has a bletch on her face.

And I apologize for all the manic posts today. I had WAY too much coffee this morning.
The Avocado Avenger
February 15th, 2007 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

Curtis: I thought the point was that the dogs were trained to attack black people but not white people? Eh, I remember seeing that plot on a TV show one time, I assumed “Curtis” had cribbed it from there. I’m probably overthinking it.

#57 gh: Easily the funniest thing I’ve read in days, and not just because I’m spending my time reading MW & FOOB.
colorado
February 15th, 2007 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

Archie Comic Artist Dies….

http://entertainment.msn.com/news/article.aspx?news=251705
cheech wizard
February 15th, 2007 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

The notion behind today’s Curtis is that people on Flyspeck Island naturally have a way with animals. Or, more precisely, have their way with them. That’s why the dogs are cringing.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
February 15th, 2007 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

The English language has been used by literary notables from Geoffrey Chaucer to Toni Morrison, and by leaders from Henry VIII to John F. Kennedy. It’s been spoken from the firths of Scotland to the veldts of South Africa, in Manhattan diners and Whitehorse saloons. But throughout this rich linguistic history, it wasn’t until the Feb. 14th TDIET that any speaker of English ever produced the expression “LOOKA THIS.”
HBGlord
February 15th, 2007 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

#157 Huh?! How’d you get that notion? I think you’re adding a racial element here that isn’t part of the story. The cops the dogs attacked were (probably, considering Billingsley’s “freewheeling” draftsmanship) depicted as white (i know it’s sometimes hard to tell without the Schulzian negrifying diagonals). And our favorite hood rats, Derrick and “Onion” — they’re black and clearly have control over their hellhounds.

And the film you’re referring to is most likely Sam Fuller racial allegory White Dog.
Trotzenbonnie
February 15th, 2007 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

#147 – Curtis did just jump out of a cab. That white stuff is taxi backseat bletch, one of the most vile forms of bletch known to personkind.
(Thanks for sharing bletch with us, O.F.)
Gabe
February 15th, 2007 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

AA: The dog attack is black on black crime, though some whities got caught in the crossfire.

You obviously missed a couple of days. There’s so racism inherent in this storyline.
Gabe
February 15th, 2007 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

no, not so
HBGlord
February 15th, 2007 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

#160: I beg to differ — it’s probably the second citation. I think i recall the first iteration of the phrase from a commercial for Puffa Puffa Rice. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1HAFXBQxRo
Saxman
February 15th, 2007 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

160 165

I googled and there are 3,360 citations for “looka this.”

“I’m feeling lucky” spit out the following typical citation:

http://righteousbubba.blogspot.com/2007/01/take-looka-this-nice-xmas-gift.html
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
February 15th, 2007 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

I googled, too, but I declined to share my results because it would have ruined my funny. But seriously, though, have some of you encountered “looka this” in conversation? It’s unfamiliar to me, but admittedly it could be more common in times or places that I’m not from.
Saxman
February 15th, 2007 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

167

Sorry to step on your Puffa Puffa Rice citation.

The places I come from, I’m more likely to hear “looka dis.”
Saxman
February 15th, 2007 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

I’m still getting it worng.
Islamorada Girl
February 15th, 2007 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

I hear “lookitis” a lot.

Sounds like there’s a lot of cabin fever here. Let’s hope the roads are clear by Friday. Some of us really need to get out of the house.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
February 15th, 2007 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

p.s. #161: LOL @ “Schulzian negrifying diagonals.” Now that’s original.
Poteet
February 15th, 2007 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

# 128 — Hmmm. Upon reflection, gh, I’m willing to accept imperiled beavers if that’s the only way I get to see the beavers, which might be the case in Elrod’s world. But I’d be happy with a storyline that consisted of Theodore and Castoria playing with their kits for a week or so. It would beat watching Evil Mary Helmet Hair doing her number on Vacant-Smile Jeff.
Junior Tracy
February 15th, 2007 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

In the second panel, Mary looks more than usually vampiric. No wonder Dr. Jeff traveled to SE Asia; only distance could break the evil spell of the undead.
HBGlord
February 15th, 2007 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

#170 — I used to have a bad case of “lookitis,’” but a few elbows in the ribs from my wife was just the cure.

#171 — I just hope the OED cites this page once the phrase spreads like “where’s the beef?”
deeeeeeeeelightful
February 15th, 2007 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

Mary worth is a good argument for elderly euthanasia. Nope, whether is down the block from the charterstone compound or halfway around the world, you can’t keep an insane, senile mary worth down!
The Avocado Avenger
February 15th, 2007 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

HBGlord: #157 Huh?! Howâ€™d you get that notion?

Unless I’m mistaken, I already explained why I thought that was the reference. And, no, I didn’t realize the cops were supposed to be white, but I’m not a connoisseur of “negrifying diagonals”. From now on, I’ll only read the colorized “Curtis” on the Houston Chron site.
John C Fremont
February 15th, 2007 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

Egads! Puffa Puffa Rice. Just a few weeks ago I was watching So Hi hawking Rice Crinkles. With memories like these, it’s no wonder I try so hard to forget.
Ortega2go
February 15th, 2007 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

Apparently Gunk’s ability to pacify animals is so amazing that even Curtis’ hat registers its surprise.
HBGlord
February 15th, 2007 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

#176 — But my point is that there aren’t any diagonals (or benday dots) used in Curtis. Truth be told, in black-and-white (the way i read the strip), everyone’s skin is white!
Red Greenback
February 15th, 2007 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

150-MossMoses: oyE veiGH, I got it. nicely done, Sir!
Uncle Lumpy
February 15th, 2007 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

I am holding on hard to my hope for Mary Worth. In the Vietnam storyline, Mary is seeing thoughtful and well-intentioned resistance to her advice; with Aldo, she saw her group’s attempt to preserve the status quo go horribly wrong. Karen Moy has put the focus of the strip on Mary herself – I’m hoping next for flashes of self-awareness, followed by a brave move off her self-satisfied dime.

I think I see it coming – I mean, is Jeff really going to sit down at the Bum Boat and say, “Y’know, Mar, you were right – screw those kids: I’m tired! Thanks for setting me straight”?

C’mon Karen – make Mary the anti-Foob. We so desperately need an anti-Foob!
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
February 15th, 2007 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

94 Howard Erk: Masturbation in the courtroom thy name is Lizardbreath:

Actually, it’s Donald D. Thompson…

Belated COTW nomination for whoever wrote, several threads back, the bit about “the baby got the Dingo.” Where is that guy? And where’s Genetic_Mishap? You know they didn’t run off together, unless the world just shifted on its axis. I mean, finally Angry Black Woman returns…and then we lose two other folks? I just hope nothing Winkerbeanish happened to them.
Mibbitmaker
February 15th, 2007 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

Above Marvin: Stewie from “Family Guy” shows up. As Marv looks towards him, Stewie says, “Ah! I do believe you’re ready. Come with me to learn the ways of parental destruction. Welcome to Hell, fellow infant”, followed by diabolical laughter. Marvin follows his new collegue out the door.
Andy L.
February 15th, 2007 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

I wonder if Dr Jeff is safe to travel in his condition. I hope not. It would be awsome if he died during the 20 hour flight back to the United States.

Not so much for him, you understand, But for us.
Mibbitmaker
February 15th, 2007 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

FC: …And each of those drawings is more entertaining than FC.

Curtis: Whoa! That did it, now that Gunk fellow is downright creepy. What power the islander has!

(DT)GTe: That kid in the checked shirt saying that crude jibe in the last panel… is that Dick Casablancas from “Veronica Mars”? Sure sounds like something he’d say.

Dilbert: A “Steaming pile of failure”. That really describes Cathy to a ‘t’. Also FOOB… and GT… and MF… and…..

9CL: You’ve heard of “breaking the 4th wall”? Welcome to “breaking the first 2 panels”.

JP: Is that a little pencil in French woman’s fingers, or a tiny little violin (as the saying goes)?

MW: No! She’s winning the sick mind games! He’s been controlled to the dark side. Mart Worth owns him. She killed some poor schlub (as Lovey Salzman would say) back home, Jeff! RUN, Jeff, RUN!!!
stinky pete
February 15th, 2007 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

#182 GC,MP, I said it here, but then “Dingo” ripped me a new one for saying it wrong, so I’m not sure it’s safe owning up to it yet. (But in my defense I was quoting Elaine Benes, not Meryl Streep.)
Mibbitmaker
February 15th, 2007 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

#185: That’s “Mary Worth”. I don’t wanna know what would get sold in a Mart Worth!
Uncle Lumpy
February 15th, 2007 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

#187 Mibbitmaker –

“Hi, there, welcome to WorthMart! How ya doin’ today? Yeah? That’s great, just great! Hey, we got some great tofu croquettes and tuna casserole fixin’s over at Samuel’s Deli, and don’t miss the big sale on soul-destroying complacency over in Aisle 6! Y’all have a great day, now!
Randy
February 15th, 2007 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

I really shouldn’t let Pluggers get to me, but I cannot get past the fact that Plugger couples are never made up of two from the same species.

At the common law, that was known as the “despicable Crime against Nature.”
Buck Ripsnort
February 15th, 2007 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

Marvin– The Hellspawn has always reminded of Chucky the doll, except anatomically incorrect–I hope.
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
February 15th, 2007 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

Pinky’s Teat – uh, Stinky Pete: No, I meant the person who said that “a baby got Dingo.” You were using the standard pop-cultural quote – whoever it was reversed it (and in context – was it about Marvin maybe? – it was even cleverer. Or clevererer. Something.)
True Fable
February 15th, 2007 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

#161 HBGlord: itâ€™s sometimes hard to tell without the Schulzian negrifying diagonals

This is without a doubt, the best post of the entire week. It’s so… understandable and yet specific. It is only one single aspect of the obscure hobby of comic snarking, but it rings true. Like linking gender-blurring alien life forms to explain the artwork, or perfection in a deeply troubled Canadian white-bread family, we understand the reference.
True Fable
February 15th, 2007 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

DT Poor neglected Cheif. You can’t even say “always the bridesmaid and never the bride”, either. It’s more like “always the valet parking attendant and never the bride.” Maybe it IS time you retired. They won’t likely notice anyway.
True Fable
February 15th, 2007 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

Archie Just what part of him were you aiming for, Judge Lodge?
BB And just who is Lt. Fuzz to talk, when one of his own species lies broken and bloody only a few feet away, and it is the mangled body himself who must call the lieutenant’s attention to the situation?
Curtis Still no explanation why Gunk has ordered the killer dogs to hump the ground, but I guess whatever works, meh.
booper
February 15th, 2007 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

Gadge Cubic — That was me wondering if a baby got our Dingo. I noticed he was missing. I wish there were some way to check up on people, without invading their privacy.
Jamus The Bartender
February 15th, 2007 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

….poop keeps Marvin and Dr Jeff wher they are….
booper
February 15th, 2007 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

#195 — I’m not sure how to post a link, so I looked my comment up. It’s #51, under Wrestlemania.
Ham Gravy
February 15th, 2007 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

The next time that Brooke McEldowney gets the urge to draw that cat, I wish he would just stop. And put the pen down. And take a deep breath. And draw us some hot legs instead.
MossMoses
February 15th, 2007 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

190. Good point! I just sat threw the rancid dreck that is “Seed of Chucky” last night. That was one sequel too many after the amusing “Bride of Chucky”. I would do the same thing to Marvin as I would to Chucky if he came running at me with a knife, stomp the shit out of him. For Marvin, he wouldn’t even need to be attacking me, either. I can never figure out why the people in these movies are afraid of a one foot tall doll. Kick him! How strong is he gonna be?

Cheeck Wizard, props on your accurate Curtis prognostication. If you can predict what will happen on Mark Trail’s fishing trip I’ll be really impressed. I have the feeling that it will involve evil ’stache boy trying to drown Mark Trail from the canoe.
MossMoses
February 15th, 2007 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

200. Gulp, sorry Cheech, that was a careless typo. Just don’t call me MostMoses…
booper
February 15th, 2007 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

Maybe Marvin is the baby who got our Dingo.
stinky pete
February 15th, 2007 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

#191 GCMP, Sure, dyslexia for my blame me!
Ribinin
February 15th, 2007 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

Bletch
apostate
February 15th, 2007 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

The artist is drawing him in that pose because he wants Marvin to replace Calvin as the kid peeing on various automaker logos.

Good luck with that campaign. Marvin would be a much better representative for retards who strongly prefer one shoddily-built pile of crap over another.
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
February 15th, 2007 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

197 booper: See the blue date and time under the name in each entry? That’s a link to that specific comment.
The Avocado Avenger
February 16th, 2007 at 5:21 am [Reply]

#179 HBGlord – I understood your point, I was trying to acknowledge your funnitude without simply saying “lol ur funni”.
HBGlord
February 16th, 2007 at 10:16 am [Reply]

#206 — Smile when you say that, pardner! : )
Pamster
February 16th, 2007 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

Stupid things I’ve heard (either firsthand or secondhand) or seen EOD personnel do:

“Wow! I didn’t think we were that close to it!” after detonating a bomb and pieces flew over their heads. I went back to my office shortly after that.

“I don’t think you want to touch that,” I said. “Oh my god, I thought it was a turtle,” he replied, backing away from a landmine. “Get your eyes checked.” “But they don’t let you do EOD work if you have glasses.” Note to self: keep a goodly distance from him in future fieldwork.

“Have you guys ever seen one of these before? Here, catch!” Some ordnance activitates if rotated. One dead, nine injured. Luckily, that’s one I just heard about.

“Since you’re stuck in the hospital with that broken leg, I snuck in this bottle of whiskey and brought this thing I found in the field for us to play catch with!” Blew hole in wall of hospital. Patient and friend were found stinking drunk and giggling on the floor–patient’s mattress sheltered them from blast.
Marion Delgado
February 16th, 2007 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

Is Mary Worth covert John McCain propaganda? Perhaps this hospital is Jeff’s own “Hanoi Hilton” where an enemy of freedom torments him trying to break his will.

Jeff knows that if he looks directly out of the panel and shouts HELP ME! he’ll just be beaten again.

I may have to revise my scene where Jeff whimpers “CAN WE WIN THIS TIME!” and Mary comforts the dying Jeff by handing him his old rifle and promising that yes, they can win.

In the new version, Mary says, Jeff, Jeff, GI Jeff! While you here in Vietnam, guess who I was having SODA with at SODA SHOP, GI Jeff?
King Folderol
February 17th, 2007 at 1:42 am [Reply]

I know being the 210th commenter this has probably been said already in some shape or form, but it bears repeating:

Mary’s plan is to transfer the convalescent Jeff back to Charterstone? Even though he’s sick and probably shouldn’t travel?

I’m a little late to this particular soiree, but I’m really starting to wonder what the hell is wrong with this woman.
Angry Beaver
February 17th, 2007 at 3:30 am [Reply]

Marvin-Looks like he’s in the running for a comic strip version of ‘The Omen’
the genghis
February 19th, 2007 at 8:10 am [Reply]

Marvin is obviously preparing to take the mantle of Menace from the chair-riding Dennis… each generation far more violent than the last, right?

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