The Comics Curmudgeon

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Tuesday quickies

Archie, 2/20/07

I find it kind of amusing that this little drama of internecine hatred and sublimated violence is taking place among members of a bowling team named the “Buddies.”

The less said about the loving attention lavished on Archie’s crotch in panel three, the better.

Cathy, 2/20/07

I honestly have no interest whatsoever in passing judgment on Cathy’s exercise regimen and ability to adhere to same, but … what about the dog? Is she just going to have to go to the bathroom in the house? Or what?

Dick Tracy, 2/20/07

If Dick looks disgruntled in the third panel, it’s because he knows that Beetle Bailey introduced this character under the name of “Chip Gizmo” in 2002, and there are few things in comics more humiliating than being beaten by half a decade to some pop cultural touchstone by Beetle Bailey. Plus, Chip Gizmo doesn’t look like a smug, svelte Richard Nixon.

Gil Thorp, 2/20/07

Dear America: Tyler and his girlfriend staged the attack on Tyler in order to get R.J. in trouble and thus solidify Tyler’s position as a starter on the Mudlark basketball team. You may now cease paying attention to Gil Thorp for the next several weeks. Signed, The Comics Curmudgeon.

P.S. You’re welcome.

Marvin, 2/20/07

Ha! It’s funny because the dog is pooping!

Wait, did I say “funny?” I meant “horrifying and shameful.” Marginally less horrifying and shameful than when it was babies pooping, but only marginally.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 20, 2007 at 03:01 am and is filed under Archie, Cathy, Dick Tracy, Gil Thorp, Marvin.

344 responses to “Tuesday quickies”

Lynngineering
February 20th, 2007 at 3:05 am [Reply]

FBOFW: Deanna says only “Great, FINALLY!”…. to anything idiotic Michael P does. The coma dream, complete with Michael’s narrative to his (sleeping)self, continues…
The Porridge Bird
February 20th, 2007 at 3:21 am [Reply]

DT: That first panel. Lt Tivo seems to have been caught at the moment of frog-cheek-puffing with his mouth open! Amazing! His froggish abilities will undoubtedly come in handy in the ensuing adventure. As long as nobody tells me he’s poisonous and asks me to draw him.
Boshek
February 20th, 2007 at 3:30 am [Reply]

Okay, Lyngineering. You win. I’ll convert to coma-theory. Then even the time-freeze makes sense. Life goes on outside but in Mikey-land, it’s different. I let the world know how I feel about the Tuesday FOOB on the previous thread, then this new one started. Suffice to say, I am not amused. I know my voice of disgust is just one among thousands but every voice must be raised. Michael Patterson makes FOOB more depressing to read than Funky. And in Funky, arms have come off, tumors have grown (lately shrunk, though), the band director is losing hearing, etc., etc. After all that, though, Mike’s saintly portrayal creases my brow more deeply.

Opposite philosophies- Batiuk is cruel to his chracters, Lynn is kind to Mike. In the end, though, the more painful to read is FOOB. Though if asked which comic I myself would rather be a character in, sign me up for the Great White North. I don’t want gangrene or tetanus or a possibly fatal head wound.
Jack Parsons
February 20th, 2007 at 3:48 am [Reply]

DT: At least the new character isn’t another Jewish caricature like Al Kaida and Dr. Froid.
Draktyr
February 20th, 2007 at 4:12 am [Reply]

(DT)GT – Wow, looking at Coach’s head in panel 3 i can only think “Now that’s a flat-top even Herman Munster would be envious of.”
Octal
February 20th, 2007 at 4:14 am [Reply]

The less said about the loving attention lavished on Archieâ€™s crotch in panel three, the better.

I never would have noticed that if you hadn’t pointed it out. D: I think the only other thing in the comic that got actual shadowing is the whatsit around the bowling pins.
The Avocado Avenger
February 20th, 2007 at 4:35 am [Reply]

FOOB: That was even worse than I thought it would be.

DT: Interestingly, the thrice-weekly webcomic “Order of the Stick” also has just introduced a character named “Teevo”. It is, as you would expect, a Tivo. Methinks there’s something in the water.

MW: It kind of bothers me that Mary seems to know the right thing to say and do, but doesn’t care.

RMMD: The broccoli is a trap! Run away!
Old School
February 20th, 2007 at 4:55 am [Reply]

Let’s see if I can translate:

Cathy [blah blah blah]

Elektra: What the [hell]? You traitor! You promised me walkies and this is how you repay me?

Cathy: [pera pera pera, pera pera]

Elektra: You fat hog! Get your craterous ass up and give me my walkies this instant!

Cathy: [blah blah blah, yakety shmackety]

Elektra: I can’t believe this! You’re a failure! You hear me? YOU ARE A FAILURE! If you put as much effort into walking as you do stuffing your face and being a lazy, pathetic cow, that spineless halfwit you call your husband would be jumping your bones by now!

Cathy: [NEVER!]

Elektra: Your entire lineage is a sham! The simple fact that you still exist makes Charles Darwin spin in his grave! Since you won’t give me my walkies, I’ll just mark my new territory! You won’t be wearing them anyway!
Robert Whitaker Sirignano
February 20th, 2007 at 4:58 am [Reply]

MARVIN’s subject is about trying to bring down the last taboos in the newspapers strips. The result will be crap.

Is Dick Tracy really drawn, or is it stamped out with rubber stamps? It’s so block like.

The less said about CATHY the better. The Marvin’s dog could use her living space to improve the odor.
Coffeeclash
February 20th, 2007 at 6:19 am [Reply]

A3G – Jeez, Margo, get your own ghost!

MT – “I have to be careful not to leave any evidence behind. Let’s see, first I’ll take off all my clothes and put them here on the pier…”

Snuffy Smith – Ah, the scourge of inbreeding.
Ukulele Ike
February 20th, 2007 at 6:21 am [Reply]

“Archie”: I was expecting Scarpello to make a “pinhead” joke in the final panel. Maybe in a word-balloon floating in from an offstage Reggie.
TB Tabby
February 20th, 2007 at 6:29 am [Reply]

PC: Huh? Was that supposed to be political commentary? Was that supposed to be a joke in any way, shape, or form? I hear a lot of people saying Prickly City is the “good” conservative comic…and, sadly, they’re right.
Lynngineering
February 20th, 2007 at 6:31 am [Reply]

FOOB: And by the way, I do agree with the consensus it is all.too.much. This is my way of surviving the slow-mo train wreck on the way to lovepocalypse, which naturally I do want to see, if only for completion theories.
Eric G
February 20th, 2007 at 6:53 am [Reply]

DT: Lt. Teevo? Does he have a remote so we can fast forward through the boring par….oh, that’s right. Never mind.

Mallard Fillmore: Looks like Tinsley had to work President’s Day. My guess is he picked up a job as a greeter at Wal-Mart after the strip dropped to 200 papers.
dreadedcandiru2
February 20th, 2007 at 6:56 am [Reply]

FOOB: We’re force to endure Yet Another Patterson whining about the consquences of a stupid snap decision after the fact. Wah, wah, wah, Baby Mikerobe! You burn your bridges and THEN whine about it afterwards? You worry about the finanical mess your loathsome stupidity caused? You have a vague worry about what your doormat wife will say, not because you care about her in the least but because you wanna go ‘roadside’? You fucking douche! You should have been greeted by a lynch mob, not worshipful gushing by the mindless fembot.
jvwalt
February 20th, 2007 at 6:59 am [Reply]

Josh: If you’re disturbed by Archie’s crotch in panel 3, how about Reggie’s slight tumescence in panel 2 — presumably caused by thoughts of a violent attack on Archie? Eeewwwwwww.

And aside from (a) being another rank one-shot caricature in the DT tradition, (b) making oddly anachronistic/futuristic statements, and (c) presumably having access to NSA datamining so he knows how many messages Dick Tracy had before they ever met, Lt. Teevo also creeps me out because he has a butt on his hand (panel 2).
Anonymous
February 20th, 2007 at 7:02 am [Reply]

MW — I want to ride on the magic Mary Worth plane. Only there can others passenger’s clothing magically change color from frame to frame (should have stayed with the brown) and only there can a plane have an aisle… then magically the aisle disappears. I want some of what the pilot’s smoking.
firegoat
February 20th, 2007 at 7:03 am [Reply]

MW — whenever Mary’s head is drawn at that angle in the 2nd panel she reminds me of ET. Something about how her head sits so awkwardly on her neck. I hated E.T.
serpentineminer
February 20th, 2007 at 7:07 am [Reply]

So, judging by Popeye’s ability to never, ever end a storyline, the next eighteen years of strips are going to consist of various and sundry completely identical goons walking up behind Olive Oyl and whacking her in the head with mallets. This makes it, of course, the most satisfying Popeye storyline ever.
Old Fogeyette
February 20th, 2007 at 7:25 am [Reply]

Wow, you have all been so busy since my last visit. Way to go, Josh!

Sorry to see that neither ABW nor Dingo has yet returned. I don’t worry about Chennux, as he is probably off in some other dimension pulling the legs off xrbltngs.

I have not yet had my coffee, but have read most of the comics, and what is most striking today (aside from the increasingly moronic stupidity of the A3G storyline) is the amazingly stilted language in MW and MT. I mean….”I so want to help them. They suffer repercussions from a war our country was part of.”

NOBODY talks that way. Platitudes would work so much better. How about: “God helps those who help themselves. And war is hell.”

As for MT: “I dread getting in that cold water, but if my plan works, it will be worth it.” Yes, I’m just sure that is what an evildoing false friend would say out loud in the middle of the night, after drugging a dog, and before jumping into a murky lake in the middle of a forest. I’m sorry, I can’t even believe he would THINK that.

I believe the real problem here is that most comic strip writers are NOT “writers.” And in many cases they are not even artists. Wouldn’t you think that at least minimal, first-grade-level writing and drawing ability would be required before a comic strip is widely syndicated? I believe that Lynn Johnson, at least on a minimal level, can both write and draw. But as her strip has gotten old, she’s gotten lazy with both talents. Though her dialogue isn’t particularly stilted, her story-telling has gone south and her characters have come to look more and more alike.

Writing and drawing. It seems so simple. If you have to pick only one of the two, I’ll vote for Doonesbury, which is NEVER stilted, and the stories are always told well. IMHO Funky is also well-written, both as to natural dialogue and believable (if depressing) storytelling, and I do like the art.

But most of the strips we discuss are sadly lacking in one or both categories, and I can’t think of a single strip that is really fun to look at.

I miss Prince Valiant. [End rant.]
Christopher
February 20th, 2007 at 7:25 am [Reply]

Blondie:

This strip bothers me, because I can’t tell if it’s a “These kids today with their technology!” strip or not.

I mean, I’m pretty sure they were selling pen cameras out of comic books in 1969. It sort of feels like a “these kids with their technology!” strip, but the technology’s pretty old and it still works if Dagwood Jr. (Or whatever the heck his name is) bought the thing from Archie McPhee.

I’m not used to textual ambiguity in Blondie! It’s going to haunt me all day.
Fried Froid w/ Squid
February 20th, 2007 at 7:31 am [Reply]

Of course the ‘Buddies’ are the best bowling team, with lanes three feet long, they’d have to be schmucks not to be. Oh wait, they’re schmucks anyway.
Pozzo
February 20th, 2007 at 7:41 am [Reply]

Does anyone else think Lt. Teevo looks like he stepped out of a Terry Gilliam animated link?
stinky pete
February 20th, 2007 at 7:47 am [Reply]

20 O. F., more stilted dialogue from Curtis: “I’ve an appointment to get cosmetic foot surgery for fashion reasons.” That line is so stilted that Curtis takes up the entire second panel translating it into English.
Clyde
February 20th, 2007 at 7:48 am [Reply]

“as of 10 PM YESTERDAY”???? Clearly there is still something about modern communications that this “specialist” does not “get”. I’d like to think that Chip Gizmo could at least deliver email on the same day it was sent.
Buck Ripsnort
February 20th, 2007 at 8:08 am [Reply]

No one mentioned this? 40 years late, Dick Tracy has a MOD SQUAD? I won’t believe it til I see Sam Ketchem w/ a ‘fro, and Liz dressed like Peggy (rowr) Lipton!
Buck Ripsnort
February 20th, 2007 at 8:10 am [Reply]

And Lt. Teevo looks like [margo]ing Quagmire!
Tabby Lavalamp
February 20th, 2007 at 8:15 am [Reply]

Apparently when Lt. Teevo gets nervous, he puts his fingers into his armpits and smells them, and who wouldn’t be nervous getting to meet Dick? SUPERSTAR!

See? I can do belated pop cultural references too. Where’s my strip?
Ten Day Dinosaur
February 20th, 2007 at 8:20 am [Reply]

I’d nominate “Get Fuzzy” and “9 Chickweed Lane” for the title of fun to look at with decent writing. GF is far and away better, but that’s probably my personal tastes.

Cathy, however, has no redeeming qualities. Not even a cute dog, which is HARD to fail at.
JEdens
February 20th, 2007 at 8:21 am [Reply]

Why is Cathy making exercise plans with her dog instead of her husband? I vaguely remember she got married, right?

Checks Wikipedia:

“Initially, the strip was based largely on Guisewite’s own life as a single woman. However, Guisewite had Cathy’s longtime boyfriend Irving propose marriage on Valentine’s Day 2004, a move that many readers felt breathed new life into Guisewite’s work, as the strip had up until that point become repetitive, with plot lines often indistinguishable from previous strips. The two characters married in the February 5, 2005 strip.”

Looks like I was right and ‘many readers’ were wrong.
Krazy Kat
February 20th, 2007 at 8:27 am [Reply]

FOOB- and back at Portrait magazine an Editor in Chief is saying “Damn, I can’t believe that worked!”
The Photocopiest
February 20th, 2007 at 8:28 am [Reply]

MW: Uh-oh… Jeff just pointed out that America might—could possibly mind you—have a responsibility for the actions it took in a war. On an airplane

Next week: Mary hectors Donald Rumsfield while Jeff learns about a brand new culture in Camp X-Ray!

Actually, that sounds pretty cool.
Eric
February 20th, 2007 at 8:33 am [Reply]

Dick Tracy finally gives IT the recognition and respect it so richly deserves. Judging by the relative location of the wall square-thing from panel one to panel two, the downward angle of Lt. Teevo’s extended hand and DT’s forward inclination in panel two, Dick has obviously dropped to one knee in admiration and deference to Lt. Teevo. With a smile that hints at the beginnings of man love, Dick Tracy appears to be thinking, “‘Lt. Teevo?’ More like ‘Lord Teevo, Sovereign of Silicon, Equestrian of QWERTY, Master of MP3 and DDR, Wonk of Web 2.0, and High Minister of Mine Sweeper.’ I shall call him, ‘My Liege.’ God, I hope he will fix my wife’s computer.”
dreadedcandiru2
February 20th, 2007 at 8:34 am [Reply]

31 – Fucking Ay right he is. I’ll bet he owes his flunky a Coke (or whatever Lynn misnames carbonated sugar-water).
Pozzo
February 20th, 2007 at 8:41 am [Reply]

Okay, let’s sum up. Lt. Teevo looks like:

a) Richard Nixon
b) Quagmire
c) Terry Gilliam animation (okay, that one was mine)

At least no one said he looked like Capt. Kangaroo.
Squawk
February 20th, 2007 at 8:42 am [Reply]

Cathy, just get your fat ass off the chair and walk the damn dog. You’ve been married for only two years and you’re already starting to get thick in the middle.
Tabby Lavalamp
February 20th, 2007 at 8:43 am [Reply]

Lt. Teevo looks awfully smug for someone who just demonstrated that his greatest abilities are to tell time and read the numbers off an answering machine.
Dennis Jimenez
February 20th, 2007 at 8:50 am [Reply]

A3G – Luann and Margo in a steel cage death match – Luann doesn’t have a ghost of a chance.

RMMD – Poor Sara – no gruel and broccoli for you today.

SF – Don’t forget – smoking funny cigarettes, too. And Ted got Sally a new bong – er, vase – that’s it Hil, it’s a vase.

Archie – I know it’s stupid but I wish the other side of their shirts say butt.
Ethel-to-Tilly
February 20th, 2007 at 8:51 am [Reply]

that new guy in Tracy reminds me of Nestor the butler in Tintin
techinin
February 20th, 2007 at 8:52 am [Reply]

The only reason Deanna McFooberstein is relieved Michael quit that job is because she’ll be free to go back to work and deal with Medicare recipients, pill-poppers and assorted hypochondriacs instead of dealing with Elly and the kids at home all day.

*breathes after that run-on sentence*
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 20th, 2007 at 8:53 am [Reply]

More troubling is the fact that the dog seems to think that he can sell this drivel to a publisher. And in a world where Pamela Anderson is a bestselling novelist and Michael Patterson gets a 25k advance, he may be right.
BigJoe
February 20th, 2007 at 8:55 am [Reply]

I just love Lt. Teevo’s cool two-toned jacket in panel 1. Where would I buy one of those?
Groddeck
February 20th, 2007 at 8:59 am [Reply]

Foobville is going to have two parties. Weed’s BYOB, CheezWhiz-on-crackers borefest to honor St. Michael will be going on at the same time as the full-blown, champagne and cavier gala at Portrait magazine to mark the departure of a whining, talentless hack who took up space in a perfectly good office and breathed precious oxygen that rightfully belonged to others. Maybe the local town council will get into the festive mood and declare next Monday Passive-Aggressive Day in honor of the Pattersons. And then they won’t tell anyone.
Jamus The Bartender
February 20th, 2007 at 9:01 am [Reply]

If you read today’s Cathy to the tune of R Kelly’s “Trapped In The Closet” it’s a lot funnier. Okay, well, not a lot funnier, but it’s more fun.
Jamus The Bartender
February 20th, 2007 at 9:03 am [Reply]

Actually, today’s FOOB reads the same way. “Drivin’ home, I quit my job, My lady’s gonna call me a slob…I get home, she’s standin’ in the doorway, she hugs me and says…”that’s the way, bay beh”
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 20th, 2007 at 9:14 am [Reply]

BB: I’m not accustomed to seeing General Halftrack walk with such swagger. But let’s be frank. He got the “bling” because he got promoted, not the other way ’round. So that’s really not an answer.

Sherman’s Lagoon: I know seventh grade “Introduction to Life Science” was a long time ago, but let me remind you that SHARKS DO NOT HAVE NAVELS!!!
jules
February 20th, 2007 at 9:15 am [Reply]

DT: “I’m a communications expert! Five is this many!”
Bender
February 20th, 2007 at 9:22 am [Reply]

MT: It’s worth noting that Evil McFacialhair is handing off, what appears to be, a rebreather to the Jackball. Whatever this guy is planning the all-knowing Jackball is in on it. That would explain why this guy’s been speaking out loud the whole time, he must explain the plot to his associate. This conspiracy runs all the way to the top and LoFo is about to explode! Also, is he not worried about that sack of his shrinking in the cold water? HEY-O!
Joe
February 20th, 2007 at 9:25 am [Reply]

If I were Archie I would reply, “Yeah? Well I try to imagine you’re not a huge douche, but it’s not working!” Now, allow me to try and purge that trip into Archie’s disturbed psyche from my mind by bashing my head with a wrench.
MonkeyHawk
February 20th, 2007 at 9:28 am [Reply]

“Cathy’s” dog has one redeeming quality: it’s the perfect size to punt.
anne
February 20th, 2007 at 9:28 am [Reply]

FW: Whenever I see Wally happily emailing his one-armed wife about their baby, all I can think is “Why bother? You’re going to die. Just give up now.”
MonkeyHawk
February 20th, 2007 at 9:32 am [Reply]

#33 — Eric wrote:

“…Sovereign of Silicon, Equestrian of QWERTY, Master of MP3 and DDR, Wonk of Web 2.0, and High Minister of Mine Sweeper.”

Sounds like you’ve read Galactic Emperor Chennux’ resume’.

What?

He’s job hunting?

Maybe he resigned when faced with down-sizing.
jules
February 20th, 2007 at 9:33 am [Reply]

TDIET: Actually, it has come to that. When I lived in Michigan, I had this conversation about five times a winter.

Some Kid: I’ll clear out your driveway for twenty bucks.
Me: I don’t have twenty bucks.
Kid: I’ll take a check.
Me: Forget it, honey. I’m going to shovel it myself when it stops snowing.
Kid: But there’ll be a lot more of it by then. I can clear away what’s there now, and –
Me: If you clear out my driveway, you’re doing it for free. I’m serious.
Kid (surly): Okay bye.

Despite the annual attempts at extortion, I miss Michigan. Beautiful country up there!
Lucyâ€™s Spunk
February 20th, 2007 at 9:38 am [Reply]

2/20

FOOB: I know itâ€™s been said many times today but it bears repeating: I call shenanigans on Deannaâ€™s reaction, if for no other reason that she has to now financially support that lazy-ass excuse for a husband. Iâ€™m chartering a bus to go to Ontario to give Lynn a well-deserved bitchslapâ€¦whoâ€™s with me?

Heathcliff: Oooh, grandpaâ€™s turning into a hip-hopper. Check out tomorrowâ€™s strip when he pulls some bitches with his Escalade.

Peanuts: So much for the message being outdated. Sigh.

Piranha Club: Whatâ€™s he saying in the second frame? The writing got illegible all of a sudden, or I need new glasses.
Gabe
February 20th, 2007 at 9:39 am [Reply]

Lots of people keep a crap and piss pad inside for little dogs to go on.
Drewbob
February 20th, 2007 at 9:43 am [Reply]

DT: You know, making Teevo look like Nixon makes sense. Nixon was fascinated with recording everything.

MW: Dr. Jeff is going to start and Vietnam and work his way forward through the 20th century, fixing our policy mistakes. Next stop: Iran!

Curtis: I’m glad to see that the ancient custom of foot binding has finally made it into American inner cities.
Galactic Emperor Chennux
February 20th, 2007 at 9:56 am [Reply]

ATTENTION EARTHERS! DUCK AND COVER! CHENNUX SPEAKS!

YOU EARTHERS ARE A CRUEL RACE! SEE THE ONE CALLED JUNE IN RMMD! THE CHILD NIKI’S MOTHER IS A BURNT CINDER AND HE IS ALSO MARKED FOR DEATH BY A DRUG CARTEL! YET THE EVIL JUNE OFFERS HIM NEITHER SOLACE NOR ASYLUM, BUT…

BROCCOLI?

JUNE’S SOUL IS HARDER, SHARPER AND BLACKER THAN THE NIPPLES OF HER POINTED BREASTS! CHENNUX CANNOT EVEN SAY HAHA!

ONLY THE DANCING OF POTEET AND SQUID COUNTESS HAS SAVED YOU SO FAR! AND THE INTERCESSION OF RED Gs NEW PLAYTHING PEGGY! OH YES, AND THE SYRUP SHIPMENTS! SHAPE UP OR BLOW UP, EARTHERS!

END TRANSMISSION!
Chupper
February 20th, 2007 at 9:59 am [Reply]

#50 MonkeyHawk – You’re right, but sadly everyone in Cathyland is too damn lazy to get up off their asses and do the punting.
Chupper
February 20th, 2007 at 10:04 am [Reply]

I’m fascinated by the minimalist “art” of Archie. It seems that Reggie has bowled himself into a cold, featureless alternate dimension in panel two. He hasn’t noticed yet because he’s too busy kicking and stomping on all the tiny Archies that he’s hallucinating. He’ll soon tire himself out, then realize his predicament with a shuddering terror. “Guys… Buddies…? Oh shit.“
Coffeeclash
February 20th, 2007 at 10:06 am [Reply]

For your continuing FOOBian interest, there appears to be a blitz of LJ interviews of late: one in the Globe and Mail, another in the Chicago Tribune. Among other things, Liz’s “quandary” will be “resolved.”
Krazy Kat
February 20th, 2007 at 10:12 am [Reply]

Dick Tracy-The love child of Richard Nixon and Bob Hope! I knew all those White House invitations were fishy!

And Lucyâ€™s Spunk, if you’re driving I’ll go along for the slappin’.
Galactic Emperor Chennux
February 20th, 2007 at 10:17 am [Reply]

ATTENTION EARTHERS! CHENNUX HEARS YOUR SQUEAKY WHISPERINGS AND RESPONDS!

#52 MONKEYHAWK! YOU CONFUSE CHENNUX FOR SOME IT WONK??? YOU THINK RULING THE GALAXY IS DONE WITH SOMETHING AS PRIMITIVE AS COMPUTERS??? HAHA! CHECK OUT YOUR BUTLERIAN JIHAD! WE REVERTED TO SOFT TECHNOLOGY EONS AGO!

THE GALACTIC EMPIRE IS RUN ON THE BACKS OF SUBJECT RACES! TYPISTS, CLERKS, ACCOUNTANTS AND SWITCHBOARD OPERATORS TREMBLE AT MY COMMAND!

CHENNUX LOOKS FORWARD TO CONQUERING EARTH! I WILL HAVE ALL MANNER OF INTERESTING SLAVES! MOLE PREENERS, SQUID COUNTERS, FORMER ARTISTS, LYNNGINEERS, TECHININS, FOGEYETTES, BARTENDERS AND WHATEVER THE HELL A GH DOES! RED G, KEEP PEGGY ENTERTAINED AND THERE’S A SXKCRITORT TRANSPLANT IN IT FOR YOU!

SLAVES! THEY’RE NOT JUST FOR BREAKFAST ANY MORE! HAHA!

END TRANSMISSION!
Mike
February 20th, 2007 at 10:19 am [Reply]

FOOB: Keep your hand a little lower there, Patterson. This is a family comic.
Frank Drackman
February 20th, 2007 at 10:25 am [Reply]

MW is really gettin under my skin..If Dr. Jeffs heart was bleeding any more he’d need a transfusion. He cares so much about poor children thats why he went into ENT. He’s right though, he’ll do more good resuming his lucrative practice and sending some tax deductible $$ to the commies. I hope the pimps in Hainoi took some great pics of the doctor frolicking with his underage patients..when the California Medical Board gets those Jeff might end up pulling an Aldo..
JudeMorrigan
February 20th, 2007 at 10:28 am [Reply]

Poor, stupid Deanna. She actually thinks Mike will use his newfound time to spend with his family rather than Weed.
Old Fogeyette
February 20th, 2007 at 10:30 am [Reply]

#29: I sit corrected. GF is both fun to read and to look at. 9 Chickweed is great fun to look at… to read not so much.

#62: Oh Great Exalted Galactic Overlord: can I have a SXKCRITORT transplant too? I’m not sure what one is or does, but I’m sure I need one too. Especially at my age.
Moon Mullins
February 20th, 2007 at 10:32 am [Reply]

I am ready to try my first ever CC song parody; in keeping with the recent run on Beatles tunes, I give you “Lady Deanna”, to the tune of “Lady Madonna”:

Lady Deanna, children at your feet
Wonder how youâ€™ll manage to make ends meet
Whoâ€™ll find the money now that Michael’s quit
Whyâ€™d you ever marry a grad of English Lit?

Friday night your place burned up all crispy
Sunday morning moved in with his mom
Monday fifty bucks to park, that dipshit
Down paymentâ€™s gone

Lady Deanna, youâ€™re a pharmacist
A painless overdose would be a twist
Pa pa pa pa…
Robinâ€™s got the runs

Lady Deanna lying on the bed
Michaelâ€™s stupid prose running in your head

Michael only wanted you as a breeder
Raise the kids so he could write his scum
The one he really loves is Josef Weeder
And his tight bum

Lady Deanna, suicideâ€™s the choice
Only chance the Pattersons will hear your voice
Calico
February 20th, 2007 at 10:35 am [Reply]

Yo Josh and all – in addition to Archie, check out the huge crotch in MW on the plane.
Looks like a young Orville Redenbacher is giving his ass the once-over too.
Lynngineering
February 20th, 2007 at 10:35 am [Reply]

Archie: I confess I wanted to comment on today’s strip, and started to, stating that all either of those two players alongside Reggie have to say is:
“Man, your name is REGGIE! R-E-G-G-I-E you LOSER!”.

Except then I recall those two are named ARCHIE and JUGHEAD… It’s impossible.

Archie could just respond by telling Reg “what a Betty you are” but in their case, that may be a complement, in fact, I’m sure it is.
Soujin
February 20th, 2007 at 10:36 am [Reply]

Brad from Luann is reading mad magazine… And there isn’t even a pitiful ATTEMPT to draw Alfred! This just shouldn’t happen in the comics page!

In other news, Watch Your Head is on a roll, son!
Calico
February 20th, 2007 at 10:40 am [Reply]

M & S (or S & M, take your pick) – “Mommy, what does snog mean?”
“I don’t know, honey, but I do know what a poorly drawn crotch looks like.”
Forthillrox
February 20th, 2007 at 10:46 am [Reply]

MT: I don’t think his plan will work! He is shouting! If all the inhabitants of Lost Forest awake yet, they will be soon! Plus, Mark always foils the bad guys!
Josh (not THE Josh)
February 20th, 2007 at 10:51 am [Reply]

From the Globe & Mail article:

“Mr. Spurgeon said â€œFor Better or For Worseâ€ has worked so well because Ms. Johnston is one of the most â€œfundamentally soundâ€ cartoonists in the business, with perfect comic timing and an ear for natural dialogue.”

‘Mr. Spurgeon’ plainly is a certain retired Canadian dentist who has (shudder) intimate knowledge of Lynn.
jvwalt
February 20th, 2007 at 10:59 am [Reply]

MT: I realize Jack Elrod is contractually obligated to include wildlife in every strip, but… birds really don’t fly or search for food at night. They kind of need to BE ABLE TO SEE! to do that.
Suburban Legend
February 20th, 2007 at 11:03 am [Reply]

MT- “I hope Andy doesn’t start barking”
“I hope the tranquilizer I put in Andy’s snack works!”
“I hope old Mark Doesn’t figure out what I did until Sally and I are out of the country”
“I just have to be careful not to leave any evidence behind”
“I dread getting in the cold water”

For a con artist (short for ‘confidence artist’, I might add), this guy is totally devoid of any confidence in his plan. On top of that, he’s a wuss.
gh
February 20th, 2007 at 11:04 am [Reply]

Ah, look at all the snarky people!
Ah, look at all the snarky people!

Comic Curmudgeons
Pick up the thread just as soon as they rise from their beds.
Itâ€™s in their heads.
Then sit and wonder
With all the comments and jokes and the links they pass on
Who will respond?

All the snarky people,
Where do they all come from?
All the snarky people,
Itâ€™s here they all belong.

Wille and Dingo
With all their parodies perfectly pitched so we spew and then cheer,
No one comes near.
Our dear Poteet and
Old Fogeyette with their love of the beavers and bear,
Who couldnâ€™t care?

All the snarky people,
Where do they all come from?
All the snarky people,
Itâ€™s here they all belong.

Comic Curmudgeons
Left in the lurch with two hundred or so made up names.
No oneâ€™s the same.
Wille and Dingo
Writing the dirge for the Cardinalsâ€™ best weekly rant.
Who says they canâ€™t?

All the snarky people,
Where do they all come from?
All the snarky people,
Itâ€™s here they all belong.
stinky pete
February 20th, 2007 at 11:12 am [Reply]

When I first glanced at today’s Beetle Bailey, I thought General Halfwit had a hair dryer stuck in his belt. Second and third glances did nothing to dispel this notion.

67 Moon & 76 gh, nicely done, but gh can you explain “Writing the dirge for the Cardinalsâ€™ best weekly rant” for the not-so-quick-on-the-uptake (i.e., me)?
AhClem
February 20th, 2007 at 11:15 am [Reply]

Archie looks like he’s about to fire the bowling ball at the back of Reggie’s head. Unfortunately, that’s probably not going to happen.
AtomicDog
February 20th, 2007 at 11:18 am [Reply]

#30- Correct me if I’m wrong, but since Cathy and Irving got married, has there been one single strip that has shown even the slightest possibility that there just might be something sexual going on between the two?

I didn’t think so, either.
britbike
February 20th, 2007 at 11:27 am [Reply]

Deana is just celebrating the hope that NOW Mike will quit bitching about that job every single hour of every single day. She doesn’t want to spend one more minute with his whining about his damn job. Down not-so-deep she really knows that he will now bitch and whine about other things, but at least it will be a change.
IdolsofMud
February 20th, 2007 at 11:27 am [Reply]

FOOB: I suspect deep down Lynn Johnson holds Mike and his writer’s vocation in contempt. In Lynn’s world, abandoning a steady job with health benefits while one’s children are homeless is preferable to working in the magazine world. Death before dishonor, I guess.

Think Mike’s resignation will end up on Romenesko’s website?

Portrait editor resigns from Portrait
Portraitmagazine.com

Portrait editor Mike Patterson handed in his resignation today to pursue “other opportunities.” The 31-year-old editor just sold his first book to a vanity press. Patterson did not give a reason. Publisher Clark Evil Non-Patterson announced plans to throw the magazine’s employees on the street, which Patterson did not bother to challenge.
AtomicDog
February 20th, 2007 at 11:27 am [Reply]

MT- The full moon rises at or near sunset. As low as it is on the horizon, that means that Mark et al. must go to bed really, really, early.
MonkeyHawk
February 20th, 2007 at 11:30 am [Reply]

#62 — Dear Galactic Emperor Chennux:

Thank you for your interest in pursuing your career goal of >CONQUERING EARTH!> with MonkeyHawk Enterprises.

Unfortunately we currently have no openings for one of your obviously impressive credentials.

Please be assured your resume’ will be kept on file for future consideration should an opportunity arise.

Good luck with your goal of >CONQUERING EARTH!>.

Sincerely,
Haywood Jablowmie
Human Resources
MonkeyHawk Enterprises

CC: Shredder
NEW-ME
February 20th, 2007 at 11:32 am [Reply]

Wonderful Moon & gh
gh
February 20th, 2007 at 11:33 am [Reply]

#77 stinky pete

No, I can’t. Sorry.
Old Fogeyette
February 20th, 2007 at 11:35 am [Reply]

67 moon and 76 gh, EXCELLENT parodies today.

Who knew the Beatles had such rich material to plunder? (I always preferred the Stones.)
Calico
February 20th, 2007 at 11:37 am [Reply]

#74 – actually, I believe the Whipporwill bird does feed at night, at least seasonally.
However, what kind of schmo does all this shit under the light of a full moon, where anyone, including Mark, could see him?
willethompson
February 20th, 2007 at 11:43 am [Reply]

Ohhhhhhh, Red G, Stinky Pete, gh, SQ, Poteet, et. al.

Behold your new Margo! Boxcar! Saturn! shirt! You think Pope Josh and Cardinal Lumpy will like it?
Bitter Scribe
February 20th, 2007 at 11:44 am [Reply]

It’s no wonder Archie’s team is the best in the league, since they apparently get to stand ten feet away from the pins.
Jason
February 20th, 2007 at 11:54 am [Reply]

Why Lt. Teevo? Did he just randomly pick a name of some electronic device and then spell it a little different? Why not Lt. Eyepodd or maybe Lt. Blackbury?
Paperback Rifler
February 20th, 2007 at 11:58 am [Reply]

Archie: Perhaps the word “Buddies” actually should be in quotation marks on their bowling shirts, seeing as how they probably are applying the word sarcastically. After all, not only is Reggie fantasizing about inflicting massive head trauma on our favorite unfunny redhead, but also, after all these years, Jughead’s supposed “buddies” haven’t bothered to tell him that the fact that they hand out those crappy paper crowns at Burger King does not in any way obligate him to wear them.

Foob: Today’s installment is just crying out for a Last Panel treatment that would go a little something like this:
Fourth Panel – Deanna: Great!! You finally did it!!
Last Panel – Deanna: I now have absolutely no reason not to leave you, you sanctimonious douchebag!

BTW, I totally love the Beatles song parodies, Moon Mullins and gh.
Bill Peschel
February 20th, 2007 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

Marvin: Dear God, please tell me that’s the dog’s tail in the last panel.
Lyman Returns
February 20th, 2007 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

Archie-I never understood the relationship between Archie and Reggie. Usually Reggie hates Archie and is doing everything he can to undermine the red-headed dude, yet they play sports together, hang out at the soda shop together, fight crime together, play rock music together, etc. It’s like they’re mortal enemies until an opportunity to be part of a group arrives, and then they’re all hunky-dorey with chilling together. I think drugs may be a significant factor.

GT-My word, the kid on the left in that first panel is quite disturbing-looking. He’s ready to step off the spaceship and greet Richard Dreyfuss.

FBOFW-Um, in my world, if I’m planning on leaving my job, I tell my wife about it first, since, you know, we’re married and it’s a decision that impacts her, not just me. Would it have killed you to call home, Mike? Boy, just when I think Mike can’t be any more of a tool, he adds a new wing onto the hardware store. Plus, what kind of name was that for the publisher? Gluttson? Sounds like a refugee from TDIET. Geez, Lynn, why not just call him ‘Jabba the Hutt’ and be done with it?

The song parodies in this thread are great!
Old Fogeyette
February 20th, 2007 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

#88 Willethompson: HAHAHAHA! GREAT tshirt. I would get one if I didn’t already have about 200 tshirts.
stinky pete
February 20th, 2007 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

88 wille – ’tis brillig! makes me want to gyre and gimble!
Herro!
February 20th, 2007 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

“Cathy, just get your fat ass off the chair and walk the damn dog. Youâ€™ve been married for only two years and youâ€™re already starting to get thick in the middle.”

Starting to? I remember those triangular thighs from when I was a kid!

#54, I second your declaration of shenanigans.
queek
February 20th, 2007 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

7: Me love Thog.
74: owls.
Non-Shannon
February 20th, 2007 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

Does anyone else find the goons in Popeye completely terrifying? I think part of it is whatever that symbol in their speech balloons is supposed to be. For those of you who enjoy Space Ghost Coast to Coast, I imagine it sounding like the seldom-seen character Metallus, who also scares me.
Goons begone!
gh
February 20th, 2007 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

#88 willethompson

Hmmmm . . . I don’t know. Does it include a built-in slimming effect? Would I have to buy new shoes to go with it? Will it be ready in time for Mothers Day? Does it come in Russian? I will say the font is elegant without being prissy. I vote yes.
Justafoob
February 20th, 2007 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

My question for Deanna is, did you read that pile of shit Mike call’s his novel?

It is going to debut in the remainder bin at Wal*Mart. And not even in the top ten there.

Mike is going to wind up a useless hack writer and be forced to do a Blog about reading comics so we don’t have to. And having to hawk gimcrack junk to make his rent money.
willethompson
February 20th, 2007 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

#99 gh: Yes. Yes. Yes. Da.
Michael J.
February 20th, 2007 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

I don’t know if this goes without saying at this point, but:

JESUS CHRIST ON GOD MOUNTAIN CATHY HAS TERRIBLE TERRIBLE ARTWORK

LOOK AT THE DOG LEVITATING IN PANEL 3

PLUS HE LOOKS LIKE SOME KIND OF RATLIKE BEAST

I feel better now.
Foobar
February 20th, 2007 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

93- I’ve got a friend who is the Reggie to my Archie, or v.v. It’s pretty straightforward, actually. It’s the same with Veronica and Betty. They enjoy eachothers company, and play triangle in the Archies together (one holds it, the other hits it,) but they are also not-so-secretively contemptuous of one another due to class differences and lifestyle choices, but it’s only explicitly expressed through competing for that letter-jacketed dork, or bowling or what have you. Also, our team name is, honestly, the “Good Buddies”. It’s nice to be in Riverdale.
Mike Trail
February 20th, 2007 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

Shouldn’t Mark’s friend Dan Thomas should be wearing a wetsuit in the third panel of todays Mark Trail?

Isn’t he at all concerned about shrinkage?
Calico
February 20th, 2007 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

#38 – I actually wish the other side of their shirts said something else.

Oh, I am a bad, bad girl.
treedweller
February 20th, 2007 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

As long as we’re referencing poop, don’t forget Monty from yesterday.
Dog holding it indefinitely: funny. Dog maliciously adding it to the roses: funny. Doofus eating it and thinking it is tiny raisins: [Margoing] hilarious!

DT: Teevo looks like Michael Dell!

97: true enough, but those ain’t no owls.
Oracle Steven
February 20th, 2007 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

Archie: Clearly, Reggie’s good at bowling because he throws overhand down a four-foot long lane and then kicks over any pins he missed. The sad part is that Archie and Jughead can’t figure it out…
MossMoses
February 20th, 2007 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail’s army buddy is self contained under water breathing apparatus diving with a tank that can’t hold more than 30 seconds worth of oxygen. Why not just snorkel? It’s really fake but at least it isn’t the recurring Andy kidnapping plot…
Caged Tygre
February 20th, 2007 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

A3G: Has anyone told Luann that while painting the flowers might be ok, eating them might not be?

FW: Don’t worry, they’ll be able to distinguish between you and your son because you’ll be referred to as the “late Wally.”
MonkeyHawk
February 20th, 2007 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

#88 — willethompson:

I love the “Margo! Boxcar! Saturn!” shirt!

But I’m not sure I have the personal moral fiber to wear one. I’ve worn the “More information on licorice…” shirt in public several times and non-curmudgeons simply look at it and shake their heads. The most interesting among them sometimes say, “But can’t more information on anything be found….?” And I say, “Yeah! That’s the joke!”

And they turn and walk away.

Molly’s not the only one who doesn’t understand animosity.
gh
February 20th, 2007 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

#101 willethompson

Well . . . let me sleep on it. If it isn’t wrinkled when I get up, I’m in.
Oracle Steven
February 20th, 2007 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

I know there’s a lot of FOOB loathing here, so I’m sure I’m going out on a limb, but… Couldn’t Michael have written a good novel? Maybe it’s awesome, right? Just because he’s in a roundly disliked comic strip doesn’t mean his novel sucks. Right?
Foobar
February 20th, 2007 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

112- Yeah, possible, but we can read bits of his novel (see, or don’t, his monthly dispatches) and that’s more than enough to know how bad it is.
dimestore lipstick
February 20th, 2007 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

Josh, I would like to nominate the following from Old Fogeyette as COTW:
“As for MT: â€œI dread getting in that cold water, but if my plan works, it will be worth it.â€ Yes, Iâ€™m just sure that is what an evildoing false friend would say out loud in the middle of the night, after drugging a dog, and before jumping into a murky lake in the middle of a forest.”
stinky pete
February 20th, 2007 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

112 Oracle, Oracle, Oracle…. Of course, in one of many possible parallel universes Michael could have written a good novel, but in the Curmudgeonly corner of the multiverse, he did not. Why? Because the vast majority of Curmudgeonistas do not want him to.
treedweller
February 20th, 2007 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

112/113:
My theory is LJ is a frustrated author who ended up in comics because she couldn’t hack it. She gets her revenge on editors who rejected her novel by making it a part of the strip and declaring it excellent. Beats hours and hours of tappita-tippita-tappita trying to improve it by a ~~mile~~ kilometer.
benro
February 20th, 2007 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

#112 – In the FOOBIVERSE, this novel is the Canadian “Grapes of Wrath”, but in reality, all you have to do is read the excerpts in his monthly letters (on the web site), to know that it is awful.
Oracle Steven
February 20th, 2007 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail: According to Elrod, Mark Trail is “Forever 32.” What? He looks like the Beaver’s dad (Leave it to Beaver, not one of the dam-building types). Mark looks like a 50-year-old 50’s guy. I can’t be older than him, I just can’t. It’s not right!
Oracle Steven
February 20th, 2007 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

Ohhhh, OK, I didn’t know there were excerpts. Um, if it’s OK with y’all, I won’t be reading them. I’ll stick with the comic.
Moon Mullins
February 20th, 2007 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

119: Oracle Steven:

If you don’t read any of the book excerpts, you’ll have to “fend for yourself.”
Ribinin
February 20th, 2007 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

#112 OS: There have been excerpts printed. When Michael scribed his tome, the muses were in full voice. The story takes many twists and turns. It draws Michael, like a scribe. He takes dictation, he writes what these people tell him to write and as he does, he becomes each one of them. He enters their bodies and their minds. He is Sheilagh, He is Harvey Rood – and his personality changes.
Douglas E. Iannucci
February 20th, 2007 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

Re: Cathy. That’s supposed to be a dog?

And, #102, you understate!
JEdens
February 20th, 2007 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

#79 – Since the idea of scanning through two years of Cathy strips looking for any sign of post-marital sexual interest between Cathy and Irving sickens me to the very core of my being, I’ll just agree that you are probably right.
andreavis
February 20th, 2007 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

#88 williethompson, I would totally buy that shirt. My large bazooms will make it 3-dimensional!

FOOB– I am holding out a vain hope that Deanna is congratulating Mike for his novel, and not for quitting his job. So that tommorrow, when she realizes he quit, she can beat him into the next province. Because any sane wife wouldn’t hug the bastard who threw away the family’s only income, right? RIGHT?
Marion Delgado
February 20th, 2007 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

RJ Random Jerk?

The plot sickens!

Gill Thorpe, Man Detective!
Anonymous
February 20th, 2007 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

#118 – Keeping Mark Trail “forever 32″ makes it easier for Jackelrod to reuse an entire story from 24 years ago..
IdolsofMud
February 20th, 2007 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

#117 — In the FOOBIVERSE, this novel is the Canadian â€œGrapes of Wrathâ€

“We’ll go on forever, because we’re the people, eh?”
benro
February 20th, 2007 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

Oh, and #124, after that comment, you MUST buy the shirt and submit a photo..
Perky Bird
February 20th, 2007 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

I believe the birds in MT today are night herons, which do fish at night.
Oh, wait, this is my first post…can’t just be all “school-marmy” here…let’s see….uhm…must make snark….OK, the Evil Mustache Dude in MT has a halo in panel 1. Maybe this symbolizes his lost “inner goodness”, which he will regain once he’s struck by Mark’s Fists-O-Justice.
Dicky
February 20th, 2007 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

Diesel Sweeties: Apparently quite a few of the best people I know aren’t real. I had best inform them of their non-existence post-haste.

PBS: I want to see Duck’s take on door-to-door religious proselytizers.

OBH: I know some of my fourth cousins and lots of third cousins and most of my second cousins and all of my first cousins… heck, I know what the relationship is that makes me those kind of cousins, which is more than can be said for some beginning anthropology students.
AppleGirl
February 20th, 2007 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

Cathy – Looks like poor Irving will have to walk the dog by himself again tonight, if you know what I mean.
willethompson
February 20th, 2007 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

#67 MM and #76 gh – clapclapclapclap!

A little Penny Lane, anyone?

In my brain there is a meddler thatâ€™s called Mary Worth
Sheâ€™s a biddy, sheâ€™s a harpy, sheâ€™s a toad
Iâ€™d like to run her over in the road
Just for a bowl of phoâ€¦

Then Iâ€™d visit an apartment thatâ€™s called Charterstone
And Iâ€™d show up with a case of dynamite
(that should be enough to do it right!)
Light the fuse and run! Lotsa fun!

In my brain, there are no nags, there are no boobs
Where there are no jerks or even FOOBs
Or Thorp and meanwhile back

In my brain there is a house full of Canadians
A whiny teacher and an â€˜authorâ€™ whoâ€™s a bore
Perhaps some petrol splashed on their front door?
Light a match, seÃ±or!

In my brain, there are no Trails, no Winkerbeans
No June or Rex or Neddy drama queens
Or Margo, meanwhile back

Little Luann painting lilies in a studio
An over-microwaved burrito now explodes
The cheesy shrapnel pierces her lymph nodes!
Just like poison toads!

In my brain, the spinster Tommie goes to Garyâ€™s place
And discovers that heâ€™s into B&D
She tries to squirm out of the ropes and flee
But theyâ€™re way too tight! Itâ€™s Garyâ€™s night!

In my brain, there are no nags, there are no boobs
Where there are no jerks or even FOOBs
Or Morgan, meanwhile back
In my brain, there are no Trails, no Winkerbeans
No June or Rex or Neddy drama queens
Or Margo, meanwhile back
In my brainâ€¦
Bender
February 20th, 2007 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

MT: I’m just going to put this out there, whatever Mark’s army buddy is after is not underwater but on the other side of the lake. Due to his intense underwater demo. training, his not being a, “strong swimmer,” or both he requires a SCUBA tank to even doggy-paddle a few yards to somewhere he could just as easily walk.
Krazy Kat
February 20th, 2007 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

Oracle Steven
No! Read ‘em…read ‘em ALL.
Gooba Gabba Gooba Gabba one of us– one of us!!!
Old Fogeyette
February 20th, 2007 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

#117 Dimestore lipstick: thanks for the nomination! I know it doesn’t work that way, but it’s nice to be appreciated.
chic geek
February 20th, 2007 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

Foob: I think Deanna is thrilled because now Michael can be home with the kids all day. She can work longer hours at the pharamacy to pay the bills and get more time away from living with all those Pattersons. Based on what she’s been dealing with, sounds like a win-win situation to me.
Bucky Ripsnort
February 20th, 2007 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

The only thing scarier than the Irving/Cathy beast having sex is the thought of the unholy Irving/Cathy spawn.
Out of my head, foul fiend!
Gabe
February 20th, 2007 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

124: Deanna is a pharmacist, so they still have income. Mike is still a tool, though.

Also, I demand photos of the shirt too. Purely scientific curiousity, you understand.
SteveRoper
February 20th, 2007 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

#74 & 87, MT: If the oversized moon and white Jackball put out enough light for us to see everthing that’s happening, it would be enough for birds too. Confused by the near-daylight, they would naturally emerge to feed. Nice idea for a Sunday nature strip, Elrod.
#118: Actually, Trail’s creator Dodd DID age him. When the strip started in 1946, with Mark just getting out of the army, he looked and acted in his early 20s; by the 1960s, he seemed older, in his 40s. There was both aging and gradual character development through his experiences. It was Elrod who rejuvenated him and froze him at about 32 so he could last indefinitely and keep reliving the same stories. Frankly, I’d rather age through life than endure an Elrodian existence.
LambChop
February 20th, 2007 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

Having just started reading Gil Thorp, I find myself wishing I hadn’t. I grieve for the strip, which seems to have gotten itself stuck in some ADHD rift in space-time, where all action is condensed into one quantum infinity of a singular moment. Will I be able to take it long enough to see all of Milford condensed into a single moment of comic panelling and then explode? I don’t know, but it might be worth it to try.
Bender
February 20th, 2007 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

Having looked a FOOB for a time longer than reccomended (much like looking into the sun), I’ve decided that Deanna is excited for the following reason:

After reading an abstract describing the cover art, a major Hollywood studio has optioned Mike’s book and has already begun filming yesterday; Mike will recieve 100% royalties. This news arrived, written on the back of a winning lotto ticket, clutching in the fingers of a wish-granting monkey’s paw carried in the mouth of the now living Farley.

Someone will say something punny/witty/tearful about karma while I die a little more inside.
NEW-ME
February 20th, 2007 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

Oh #137 What you said!! Eewwwww
saint ruby
February 20th, 2007 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

Archie gets bonus points for the fact that Buddies is the name of a fairly well-known gay bar in Kansas City.
Mr. Oâ€™Malley
February 20th, 2007 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

81. Actually, since Michael lives in Canada, he has complete health coverage whether or not he has a job.

I think Deanna is just looking forward to having Michael stay home all day taking care of the kids. That’ll save a bundle instead of paying Elly to do it. Plus, now she’ll be able to drive to work. (As far as I remember, they have only ever been shown with just one car.)
merlinsulchek
February 20th, 2007 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

I think Dick Tracy is back coaching the Miami Heat.
gh
February 20th, 2007 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

Ladies and gentlemen . . .

The Rolling Stones!!

If I could stick my pen in my heart
I would spill it all over the page
Would it satisfy ya, would it slide on by ya
Would you think the stripâ€™s deranged? Ain’t it strange?
If I whipsaw ya, if I could draw ya
A cancer victimâ€™s scary ride
Would it be enough for your daily fix
If she broke down and cried? If she cried?
I said itâ€™s mean it’s Funky Winkerbean but I like it
Itâ€™s mean it’s Funky Winkerbean but I like it, like it, yes, I do
Oh, well, I like it, I like it, I like it
I said can’t you see that Montoni has been smirking?

If I could work in a nice hearing loss
One-armed mom ready to bawl
Would it be enough of a fate unjust
Would it help increase the pain? Eat your brain?
If I bring alcoholic divorce
Ills of heart-loss and age
Would it satisfy ya, would it slide on by ya
Would ya think the stripâ€™s insane? Itâ€™s insane
I said itâ€™s mean it’s Funky Winkerbean but I like it
I said itâ€™s mean it’s Funky Winkerbean but I like it, like it, yes, I do
Oh, well, I like it, I like it, I like it
I said can’t you see that Montoni has been smirking?

I said itâ€™s mean it’s Funky Winkerbean but I like it
I said itâ€™s mean it’s Funky Winkerbean but I like it
I said itâ€™s mean it’s Funky Winkerbean but I like it, like it, yes, I do
Oh, well, I like it, I like it. I like it…
Shannon
February 20th, 2007 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

B.C.: Based on the first panel, I was all ready for some sort of Movement Conservatism-flavored snark, and was looking forward to bitching and moaning about it. Instead I must settle for bitching and moaning about a nonsensical punchline. No, Mr. Hart, that is not an example of global warming. That is an indicator of global warming.

Crankshaft: Okay! Okay! We get it: the old gal’s been reduced to a humiliating child-like state. Jesus. If you’re gonna be depressing, give subtlety a shot.

Hi & Lois: Waaaait. How does Hi know what Trixie calls the Sun? Did he just read her thought balloons?

MW: “…a war our country was part of???” Way to use passive language there. What was the alternate line? “…a war our country may have been associated with at one time?”

Sally Forth: I’m suddenly very worried about where this whole kids-observing-the-adults-party storyline is going. “Is that a fishbowl?” “Yeah! And why are they putting keys in them?”
Shannon
February 20th, 2007 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

“keys in it,” rather.
Old Fogeyette
February 20th, 2007 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

gh #146 Oh yeah! The Stones and FW! A match made in… in… well, Comics Curmudgeonville!

Well done!

BTW, I’m posting so much today because the electrician and some other workers are here ripping the guts out of our inground spa and rewiring the back porch so we can put in an aboveground spa. It’s really hard to do actual work with all the drilling and chaos.

I think it’s time for more coffee.
gh
February 20th, 2007 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

#132 willethompson

Well, clapclapclapclap! right back at ya! You might want to ease up on the mushrooms though.

Where’s my shirt? It’s been, like, three hours. Just shove it one of those internet tubes I’ve heard about. And they call this a service economy.
Kate
February 20th, 2007 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Lynn clearly has never been in a healthy relationship. Mike abandons his wife and kids on a fire escape to run back inside a burning house, and quits his job without checking with his wife first, and nobody ever kicks his ass for it, so, well, you know, maybe this all seems normal to Lynn. Maybe I should send her literature from a local women’s shelter (except she’s in Canada so it would be a sheltre, so fuck that).
JRM
February 20th, 2007 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

74 jvwalt – I believe that’s supposed to be a night heron, which, as the name suggests, is nocturnal. Not that I’m defending Mark Trail or anything.
AhClem
February 20th, 2007 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

FOOB – Mike’s “pile of turgid prose” (thank you to whoever came up with that — Poteet?) looks like it was written by someone who has been drinking cheap wine heavily for several years. In that respect, it would be the Canadian equivalent of the “Wrath of Grapes.”

CATHY – The so-called “art” reminds me a bit of “Close to Home.” However, the latter is often clever and funny, while the former never has been and makes me want to dig my eyes out with a garden trowel.
Anonymous
February 20th, 2007 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

Aside from Arlo and Janis, is any couple in the “funny” pages even remotely sexual? (Oh, and the 9CL folks)
gh
February 20th, 2007 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

#149 Old Fogeyette

Yeah, that one was yours. I can’t write them if someone doesn’t connect the dots first.
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
February 20th, 2007 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

Oops – alien computer: forgot to log in (154 is me – and, a bitchin’ Wire album!).

But this otherwise info-free post gives me the opportunity to praise in glowing terms the wonderful MSB t-shirt. Me wanto buyone now. (See – it even messes with your syntax.)
Jeremy
February 20th, 2007 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

In archie the thing I don’t understand is how in panel 1 he could be bowling into what looks like a fireplace and then when he hits the pins in panel 2 he is extremly close to the pins.

That’s just dangerous!
Lynngineering
February 20th, 2007 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

#151 – Yes, while I agree anyway on Lynn’s view of relationships, I still argue the probability is that this is all michael’s coma-dream since the infamous day he ran back up the stairs.
Don’t blame Lynn, she is preparing the final strip for when time stands still, and the Lovepocalypse, and at this point, it has been all Michael’s fantasy of his great self, narcissistic center that doesn’t notice other people, and so on – its all fantasy working itself out, with the occasional signal of Michael to himself, through someone like Grandpa Jim, to “BOXCAR” and wake up.
It’s going to get worse, I think he’s in near final vegetative state…
Perky Bird
February 20th, 2007 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

Is it just me, or is today’s Dick Tracy a little more humorous if you read Lt. Teevo’s lines in the voice of Thurston Howell from Gilligan’s Island? (not much more humorous, just a little…) That smug little smirk he has in the first panel just reminds me of ol’ Thurston.
And JRM (#152)–would MT’s night heron be the yellow-crowned, or black-crowned species? Or maybe the rare “crappy-paper-Burger-King-crowned” species, usually only seen in the “Archie” strip?
D.A.Pennington
February 20th, 2007 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

Good Lord, don’t Canadians know how to quit their jobs properly?

Step 1: Find another well paying job.
Step 2: Continue to perform in current job, yes that includes firing people, until new job is found.
Step 3: Get hired at another company.
THEN
Step 4: Quit your old job.

It’s called “keeping a positive cashflow” Mike.
Len
February 20th, 2007 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

#75 (Suburban Legend) — I think Mark said there were BEAVERS in this lake! Geez, I hope they don’t give me GIARDIA!

Wow, the water’s really COLD! My naughty bits are gonna shrink away to NOTHING!
andreavis
February 20th, 2007 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

#154 what about Joan and Wally from Stone Soup? I believe we were treated to a series of strips which showed how she got pregnant. There was one where they got frisky after a party, and one where they woke up together in bed. (and she figured out she was pregnant 5 minutes later– yeah, right.)

Also Rose and Jimbo from Rose is Rose are pretty affectionate, but when they hug, they squeeze out teddy bears, hearts and flowers, which isn’t very sexual.

Oh, and before I scrubbed my brain with a Brillo(tm) pad, I think we saw Wally Jr.’s conception on Funky Winkerbean. There were lots of panels of them slow-dancing before he shipped out. And Les and Lisa, gettin’ jiggy before “the playground was closed for repairs.”

OK, I officially spend too much time thinking about comic strip sex.
Howard Erk
February 20th, 2007 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

#160 Mike has found a job, he is the next great Canadian novelist.

When he goes into the house Deanna is going to present him with his smoking jacket and pipe.

Of course, if he hadn’t been smoking his pipe in bed, Lovey’s place wouldn’t have burnt to the ground and he wouldn’t have had to blame the Kelpfrtoths for it.

And his jacket is smoking cause he was wearing it when he went running back in.
AtomicDog
February 20th, 2007 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

#154: I don’t expect Cathy and Irv to do the nasty in front of the dogs (shudder), but they have been newlyweds for two years now and I have yet to see them acknowledge that the concept of “nasty” even exists! Even Dagwood and Blondie box tonsils once on a while. (Well, that may not be a fair example. Blondie is a MILF among MILFs.)
PeteMoss
February 20th, 2007 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

DT “As of 10 pm Yesterday you had 12 messages. Why don’t you return my calls, Dick? Why do you make me act all crazy?”
Hogen Mogen
February 20th, 2007 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

Snuffy Smiff: At the first panel, I thought “She ain’t yor type, Jughaid, she’s from a diff’rnt fambily”, but after suffering through all three panels, I thought “Juggy’s gay.”

Old joke: What do they call a gay guy in the south?

A homosexy’all.
Allie Cat
February 20th, 2007 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

OK, yes, Deanna’s a pharmacist, but how good of a pharmacist is she?

She’s so good, she got “oops” pregnant with Meredith.

Are you telling me that she not only forgot to take her pill, but she also didn’t know where to procure and/or how to use a condom?

Basically, she conned Mike into their first conception.

Is this the woman you want giving you pharmacological advice?
dale
February 20th, 2007 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

Why does everyone but andreavis(124) think Deanna knows Mike quit his job? He quit, drove home and walked in the door. She’s mistakenly happy about something – thinks he got a vasectomy? He didn’t already do that did he?
MossMoses
February 20th, 2007 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

147. Shannon, great MW snark. I was wondering myself about “a war our country has been a part of”. That is some mealy mouthed double talk if I ever heard it. With that kind of attitude it must mean the terr’ists have already won. Is it safe to profile Doc Jeff as a cut ‘n run terr’ist who hates America’s freedom? They probably checked his shoes, carion luggage and the no fly list before letting him board.
The Porridge Bird
February 20th, 2007 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

Cathy: That finger is HUGE! And it’s as if she’s pointing at the speech bubble. “Read it and weep, mongrel!” Which won’t stop the mutt from jumping five feet into the air. Or from trying to steal the coffee in Panel 2.
bunx
February 20th, 2007 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

More importantly, Comics Curmudgeon can now stop paying attention to Gil Thorpe.

P.S. YOU’RE welcome.
philip
February 20th, 2007 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

Here is the script for every Cathy strip ever.
panel 1: blah blah blah blah
panel 2: blah blah yak yak blah
panel 3: blah yak blah blah yak yak blah
panel 4: Nothing ever works for Cathy!
Foobar
February 20th, 2007 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

Whoever mentioned it, yeah man! Close to Home. In my mind, this is the true successor to The Far Side, though the artist’s preoccupation with be-glassed people is a little strange and I remark on it every day.
PeteMoss
February 20th, 2007 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

172. phillip — Perfect summation of the Cathy template. Unless I see it on CC, I do not read Cathy. It’s the only comic strip that I purposely avoid. And, mind you, I’m a bit OCD about reading every comic strip in my daily paper, but, somehow, my affliction still allows me to make an exception for Cathy. (I think I read Marmaduke and Family Circus, but they seems to leave my memory immediately after finishing them.) Long ago I realized that the attempted punch line in Cathy was never (not even close to being) worth all the yakyakyakblahblahblah I had to wade through first.
Electra the Wonder Dog
February 20th, 2007 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

ARF! ARF! ARF!
Herro!
February 20th, 2007 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

“FOOB: Lynn clearly has never been in a healthy relationship. Mike abandons his wife and kids on a fire escape to run back inside a burning house, and quits his job without checking with his wife first, and nobody ever kicks his ass for it, so, well, you know, maybe this all seems normal to Lynn. Maybe I should send her literature from a local womenâ€™s shelter (except sheâ€™s in Canada so it would be a sheltre, so fuck that).”

#151, COTW nom!
Francis
February 20th, 2007 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

Obviously, Tyler can’t tell who attacked him because everyone in Gil Thorpe looks alike.
PeteMoss
February 20th, 2007 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

177- I believe the preferred spelling is Gile Throp.
PeteMoss
February 20th, 2007 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

FW- Did someone post that one-armed girl lost her arm due to an accident caused by the guy she later married? Is taht right?
stinky pete
February 20th, 2007 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

179 Pete, taht is correct.
Hogen Mogen
February 20th, 2007 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

Foob: Here’s the only shred of hope that I hold:
Pratterson puts the bulk of his $25K advance into a new home. Then the bottom falls out of the real estate market in Toronto and he’s got more left on the mortgage than the house is worth. Then the book doesn’t sell well, and the publisher bills him for some of the advance back. He’s years away from writing another novel, because he’s been partying with Weed every night instead of writing, and dropping $50 tips for parking, while stuffing tips down some male stripper’s g-string. Then he loses his house, Dee finds out about his homosexual affairs, and divorces him. The strip continues in flashbacks of his life gone wrong. The final panel is always Mike dressed in rags in a dark alley with a gun to his head saying “That episode right there, that’s where I screwed it all up.” I’d laugh like I never did before at the Foobs HAHAHAHAHAHA!
PeteMoss
February 20th, 2007 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

180. tahts fnucking ntuz!
Allie Cat
February 20th, 2007 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

182 – Here’s the story, basically – Susan, the student who tried to off herself when she found out her crush on teacher Les Moore was unrequited, was dating Matt the Star Quarterback/ Abusive Boyfriend who was himself abused by his father. Matt threw Susan a party on Graduation night – Wally and Becky attended, got drunk, Wally drove them home, got in a car accident and Becky lost not only her arm, but her scholarship to Julliard.

Wally freaked out, left town and joined the Army, wherein his helicopter crashed and he went MIA for about a year or two.

During that time, Comic Book Store owner John and Becky started dating. But then, Wally was found, came home, and Becky dropped John like a hot potato and picked right back up with Wally.

There’s more, of course, but yeah, that’s the basics.
PeteMoss
February 20th, 2007 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

183. Allie Cat….. Ok, ok, you’re just making that up, right? All of that happened in Funky Winkerbean? She lost her scholarship to Juliard? Let me guess – She played the violin. Man, that comic strip is really Boxcar’d up! What a miserable bunch of [Margo]ers.
True Fable
February 20th, 2007 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

FBoFW I’m sure it was entirely due to our local paper’s complete ineptitude in paste-up, but we got last week’s strip with Weed planning the party today, instead of the one for today which I had to look up online.

I recognized Weed’s whiny mosquito-like delivery and kiss-ass phrases, but I think I preferred even that to Deanna’s “You did it!” You think it’s still all about the selling the book to an even stupider publisher crap. Sure, honey; wait until you find out just what really he did today. Then aim for the sock that he ALWAYS wears, and not the ones he uses when he walks around the house.
Lynngineering
February 20th, 2007 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

#181 – Pretty convincing. And it could follow through after his coma is over (when and if it is) pretty nicely, as he will be a kind of walking wounded, and would have these nifty reality gaps (”was that part of my fantasy, or was it really in my past”) that could give him cause to wonder and look into the “family album”.

I can see him already, thinking to himself as he looks for evidence somewhere in the album … “but…didn’t I have a best selling novel?..and Weed and I were having this great party…and..”
Ribinin
February 20th, 2007 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

#148 Shannon – The “in them” comes later.
True Fable
February 20th, 2007 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

What’s that I hear? Cathy (MD) snarking in full chorus? AHHhhhh, the sweet sound of springtime!and fall and winter and summer too for that matter…..

C(MD) Cathy, you don’t really want to lose weight, do you?

No matter how many nauseous, chirpy little nuggets of encouragement you read aloud; no matter how many scientific studies or medical research or downright frightening facts about obesity you see, you’re going to ignore them all. You’re determined to turn away from the positive aspects of exercise, the rush of endorphins through your system, all because you don’t want to feel better, look better, act better, because then you would have nothing left to whine about.

It’s easier to waddle over to the scales so you can see that sitting on the couch after not pushing away from the table after the first helping will definately spell failure. You deliberately sabotage your alleged “goal in life” because you can’t be the victim then. If you have any measurable success at weight loss, that would mean you CAN do it if you try. So if you don’t try, that makes you fail and you celebrate it.

I know why you’re doing it: Cathy (Must Die) is made for people who need to lose weight or are trying to lose weight or feel bad about themselves, to read and feel better because no matter how bad a day they are having, Cathy’s is worse and they can either say “oh, but she keeps trying anyway so I guess I will too” or “well, at least I’m not a total failure like her.”

Sure, Guisewhite threw her readers a small bone when Cathy FINALLY married Irving, but now we watch as she emasculates him – oh hell no, she vivisects him – every day that she can, because …. because he was dumb enough to get caught or talked into it? Because she’s the best he can do? (oh dude, talk about lowering your ambitions, geez) Because he’s afraid she’ll go stalker on him if they break up again? Because taxes are in favor of marriage? I don’t know. I don’t like to think I’m a snob but I would at least like to be able to tell when a woman’s breasts end and her waistline and/or hips begin. She’s just one round little croquet ball with legs. Stubby little upside down bowling pin legs that only Archie Andrews and gang could appreciate. But Archie has Betty and Veronica’s curves to placate him. Irving has Croquet Ball Woman.

Cathy, get a grip. You aren’t funny, you’re just sad. A constant image of frustration and self-loathing that got old 30 years ago to everyone but the board of directors at the stationery store. [/rant]
PeteMoss
February 20th, 2007 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

A3G- I love that Margo! Her head boblin’, her clenched fist of doom. What man would spurn her? And by the way, Tommie is provocatively dressed today. Her entire neck is visible. Me likey!
Uncle Lumpy
February 20th, 2007 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

#186 Lynngineering -

That scenario echoes of the classic National Lampoon “where are they now” takeoff on Archie: trailer-trash Betty popping out babies for various “uncle daddies”, Veronica in thrall to Moroccan Raoul (”I cot you OP, beech!”), PTSD-vet Archie squatting with delusional junkie Jughead, telling their stories in flashback.

Too damn good for Mike, though.
True Fable
February 20th, 2007 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

A ranting a day keeps True Fable at bay.
Uncle Lumpy
February 20th, 2007 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

Nothing keeps True Fable at bay.
Lynngineering
February 20th, 2007 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

190 – I remember that! Excellent reference. Either Archie or Jughead had the occasional nosebleeds starting up. Ha, well – I wouldn’t be against those writers getting their hands on FBOFW.
True Fable
February 20th, 2007 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

#192 Ha! No, but ranting keeps me in check, Uncle Lumpy. If not for ranting the top of my head would lift off my shoulders like a little mini-Vesuvius.

Poteet does tend to happily distract me, though.

Shoot, who am I kidding? Body by Ford could distract me. I am such a pushover.
PeteMoss
February 20th, 2007 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

GT–I think “Some Random Jerk” is a good description of Gil Thorp(e). Maybe every panel should have a box at the top reading, “Later…,” or “The Next Day,” or “Meanwhile, in Fu Man Chu’s secret palace…”
benro
February 20th, 2007 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

It seems to me that A3G is going for a Scooby-Doo storyline where maybe the super (or whoever that old guy is) is trying to scare everybody out of the building by creating a hologram of the ghost, and various other special effects. “And I might have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for those meddling roommates!!”
MossMoses
February 20th, 2007 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

Death match – who dies first, ChinNutz or Aunt Rachel? I’m beginning to wonder if the Scrotum Chinned one will ever die now that he is making such a heartwarming recovery. Aunt Pruneface has inoperable, terminal brain cancer and is getting experimental therapy so she SHOULD die first but the way JP warps the time space continuum, she could be around for several more years real time and it would only be a week in the episode.
MossMoses
February 20th, 2007 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

196. Would you rescue LuAnn for a scooby snack? Ruh-uh! How about two scooby snax? Rallright!
PeteMoss
February 20th, 2007 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

Luann – Was the gratuitous ass-crack shot necessary in panel 3?
Pendragon
February 20th, 2007 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

Lynn’s work is fundamentally sound. And fury. Signifying nothing.
PeteMoss
February 20th, 2007 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

TDIET So, Scaduto sometimes runs out of things “they do every time” and is now mining the rich comedy vein of things “they do not now do, but will someday do everytime, maybe.”
Jeremy
February 20th, 2007 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

#157 is very wise. Let’s listen in!
MonkeyHawk
February 20th, 2007 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

An Occurance at FOOB Creek Bridge

Okay, this is a spin of the St. Michael coma theory, but stay with me a moment.

Michael’s still in the burning apartment! All that’s happened since December is his mind’s last feeble moments of life. The book contract, the $50 (Canadian; a buck-forty-seven U$) parking bribe, the Sunday fantasy of stuffing, ahem, “snow” in Lizardbreath’s pants, returning to the loving arms of his beloved just before the rope snaps his neck.

Instead of Michael ruling over the post-FOOBiverse recycling old strips, Lizardbreath will turn her back on men and relationships and dedicate her life to preserving his memory through eternity; recycling old strips while munching on leftover prime rib from Gwampa’s fridge.

They’ll bury St. Michael (or, to be more specific, his ashes glommed together with the molten laptop and charred pages of the never-read, never-sold, never-appreciated “Great Canadian Novel”) next to St. Farley and establish a Family Circle-ish backyard graveyard, with model railroad trains running around the markers. The Kleproths will send a mafia-style floral arrangement from the burn center in consolation, and thus be forgiven.

Blandthony will cater the burial with cinnamon buns and Weed will take advantage of someone who BYOB’d by annoiting St. Michael’s grave with a fifth of scotch, albeit filtered through his kidneys.
fizzy logic
February 20th, 2007 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

Take a look at Dick Tracy’s eyebrows and compare them to the “men” in Gil Thorp. You could combine all the brows together in (DT) GT and get one of DT’s eyebrows.

Why must the males in (DT) GT pluck their eyebrows so agressively? It just makes it that much harder to tell the girlish boys from the mannish girls. I think they all participate in a drag queen show that we never get to see.
stinky pete
February 20th, 2007 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

184 Pete, for some, the glass is half full. For others, the glass is half empty. For the folks in Funky Winkerbean, the glass is shattered on the floor, the drink is staining the carpet, and they are walking around barefoot on the jagged shards.
fizzy logic
February 20th, 2007 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

Dang it! Aggressively!
PeteMoss
February 20th, 2007 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

205. Stinky, I guess that is what the funny papers are suppose to be all about? A constant reminder of our mortality and the futility of life.
PeteMoss
February 20th, 2007 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

207. I meant to add a comma and an “eh” before the question mark, eh?
fizzy logic
February 20th, 2007 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

And, might I add, if the dog in Marvin is smart enough to use the computer, shouldn’t he be smart enough to use the toilet? Just askin’.
King Folderol
February 20th, 2007 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

Archie – Here’s a hint Jughead. Reggie’s KICKING THE PINS. He’s KICKING THE PINS! When you cheat and no one calls you on it then you, too, can be a winner.

Cathy – The dog can figure out what to do when the time comes. If your dog can levitate, your dog can figure out how the toilet works as well.

GT – Wikipedia defines existentialism as “a philosophical movement in which individual human beings are understood as having full responsibility for creating the meanings of their own lives.” In Gil Thorpe, the writers take this way too literally, apparently re-creating the meanings in each and every panel. How else to explain the constant barrage of random events and characters, and the steady stream of three panels that seemingly have nothing to do with one another, except for the terrible, terrible artwork. I hate Gil Thorpe with a passion that should be reserved for something far more meaningful, and recognizing this fact only makes my hatred stronger and vitriolic.
Shannon
February 20th, 2007 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

#200: Well played, Pendragon! COTW material, right there.
NotGodot
February 20th, 2007 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

It might just be the fact I’m drugged up to the eyeballs on cold medication, but I read
“commun-ications specialist” as “Communist/Socialist.”

I had my hopes worked all up for a Good ol’ American Beatdown.
Shlomo
February 20th, 2007 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

Archie: Maybe if Archie didn’t have Groucho Marx eyebrows, he would also be able to see the pins and bowl normally.
The other teams in the league should complain about Reggie’s left foot being over the line.

Marvin: I don’t usually waste my time reading Marvin, especially since he has been the same size as long as Emanuel Lewis and Gary Coleman have been, but if there would ever be a white Mr. T, would it come from a breeding of Marvin and the weird looking baby from Hi and Lois? Bad hair and bad attitude.

Dick Tracy: Lt. Teevo looks a lot like Tom Hanks in the Da Vinci Code, bad hair and all.
AwfulArt
February 20th, 2007 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

# 210 King
Vitriolic… Is Mel Gibson in the room??
Poteet
February 20th, 2007 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

# 20 — BWAHAHA! Great MW and MT snarks, Fogeyette.

# 57 — Gee, thanks, Your Extreme Graciousness. I won a case of beer in a dance contest back in the day, rocking out to “Long Train Runnin’,” but you are the first since then to compliment my unfancy footwork. Out of fairness, I must point out that there are many venues on our planet where much better dancing can be viewed, with much more skin. If you have not checked out the city we call Las Vegas, you might want to give it a try. You sound, per # 62, if you will pardon the observation, as if you could use some time away from your onerous imperial duties.

# 67 — HAR! Nice work, Moon!
Baby Dâ€™oh
February 20th, 2007 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

They’re only called “Buddies” because “Internecine Hatred and Sublimated Violencies” was too long to fit across a T-shirt. Though to my mind it has a lovely lilt.
Tracer Bullet
February 20th, 2007 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

A3G: MARGO SMASH PUNY HUMANS! MARGO IS STRONGEST ONE THERE IS!
fizzy logic
February 20th, 2007 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

Sorry I’m so late to the party, all my comments are at the end here. And there’s a gap because I was out walking Dog Logic. She gets two walks a day, one in the morning by Spouse Logic, the other in the evening by me. No exceptions, no excuses, every single [margo]ing day. If one of us can’t do it, the other one covers. We feel it’s a small part of being a dog owner, what you sign on for, so the dog doesn’t sit in the backyard or in the house barking, howling and just being generally annoying to the neighbors (or us). Yes, the weather is generally crappy and cold, and it’s usually dark before and after work. Dog Logic expects nothing less from us. (I’m not saying this is the “right” way to own a dog – it just works for us…)

Are there days you don’t feed your dog because you don’t feel like it, Cathy? Again, just askin’.

Go talk to the Pattersons. You annoy me.
Poteet
February 20th, 2007 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

# 76 — gh, I’d say that was wonderful except I used to feel so sorry for Eleanor, and now that your song makes it clear that I’m a lot more like her than I used to be, I think I’ll go lie down for a bit. Pausing briefly to admire your Rolling Stones number.

# 77 — Stinky Pete, check out the forum section. The Cardinals are the uber-snarkers on CC, and they do their own thing in the chambers above.

# 88 & 132 — Wille, you rule. I am in awe.

# 119 — Oracle Steven, you chose wisely. I myself am drawn to the Foob monthly letters by dark forces in my mind that I can no longer control, but it’s not too late for you.

# 194 — Aww, True Fable. You’re cute when you rant.
stinky pete
February 20th, 2007 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

210 King F, who is this “Gil Thorpe” of whom you speak? My paper only carries “Gil Thorp.” Just as well, as “Gil Thorpe” sounds pretty bad.
Chopped Liver
February 20th, 2007 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

HEY!

What am I to you people?!

…Oh…

nevermind
Chopped Liver
February 20th, 2007 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

HEY!

What am I to you people?!

…Oh…

nevermind
Steve
February 20th, 2007 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

#203 – If that happens, I take back every bad thing I’ve ever thought about Foob. Heck, I’ll take back the Foobified “Brain Damage” song parody I did however long ago.
Jym Dyer
February 20th, 2007 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

=20= MT: Why would some sort of big deal underwater demolition Army boat-wrestling guy dread getting into the water?

=46= SL: They also can’t make campfires underwater.

=93= Foob: Actually, the TDIETish name “Foobina” has lodged itself into my brainpan ever since I started reading this blog regularly. :-|

=98= Popeye: The Goons caused nightmares coast to coast when they were first introduced in the 1930s!

=164= Cathy: Actually, Irving quite recently lamented that Cathy “always says ‘yes,’” but not to what he specifically wants her to to say “yes” to.
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 20th, 2007 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

#203, that is so beautiful. Sadly, Ambrose Bierce didn’t live long enough to ghostwrite FBOFW. But you’ve given us a delectable taste of what it would be like.
K Bear
February 20th, 2007 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

Marvin, 2/20/07
I have to ask:
“Dog’s-eye view”?
Shouldn’t it be “dog’s eye-view?”

I’ve been traveling for a while, so I don’t get the BOXCAR reference. I know [saturn] is a foobian curse word, I did see that panel. But I can’t remember any boxcars.
Could someone please post me a link?
ta!
macb
February 20th, 2007 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

In therapeutic jargon, there are two terms for persons who seem to attract evil sociopaths like magnets, form sick relationships with them, and stay in said relationships endlessly by rationalizing away, rewarding, and reinforcing the sociopathic behavior. These terms are “enabler” and “codependent.” People are said to become codeps/enablers as a result of this behavior being modeled in their dysfunctional families of origin. With regard to FOOB: So we have Michael the Martyr, forced by his evil coward of a newspaper owner to “downsize” staff, instead (without consulting his wife or family) “selflessly” taking the bullet for the editorial staff so that he can further his process of self-canonization/self-beatification. He has already endured the perfidy of the cigar-puffing, irresponsible, child-unfriendly Kelpfroths. And sister Lizardbreath has made a life of serial betrayal in love by members of the opposite sex. And then there is baby sister April, forgiving that trampy little piano-plugger graciously after the latter has quit the band and then been embarrassed onstage in her new solo act. And of course Michael’s mother-in-law is a malignant little meddler. The question is, where did these siblings, whose Lynn-Johnston-determined misfortunes make those of the Baudelaire orphans look positively trivial by comparison, learn their behaviors? See above, where the theory behind the therapeutic jargon is discussed. But then Deanna has to be another enabler type herself, because she is SO HAPPY Michael has quit his job (and the family’s only permanent source of income). Fembot? Doormat, er, Deanna, makes the Stepford wives look like Bella Abzug in comparison.

BTW, for those of you who just can’t get enough of Lynn Johnston’s overweening self-regard, I mean profound insights, our local paper, the Chicago Tribune, ran a fawning interview with her today (2/20) in its daily lifestyles section (called Tempo), the same section that carries her distinguished strip. A double dose of the weltanschauung of Lynn Johnston, and I get to go back to work after an exhausting “holiday” weekend! Oh blessed day!
Sunny Mel Blatherscythe
February 20th, 2007 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

Archie- Thatâ€™s ok Reggie cuz Archie is thinking of you every time he has sex with Veronica.

Cathy â€“ Damn, Itâ€™s been about 5-7 years since dumpy and predictable Cathy last haunted my local newspaper. I guess Iâ€™d hoped secretly that her creator had retired due to her hands being horribly disfigured in a confrontaion with a humorless loanshark. But here we are years later, that zany Cathy is once again not making me laugh with the power of her procrastination, before you know it sheâ€™ll be snarf down an entire box of chocolates for the amusement of all or verbally castrate her milquetoast boyfriend Irving. I pray for the day that this horrid, poorly drawn bitch meets Klaus Von Bulow through an online dating service.

Dick Tracy â€“

Yep, my â€œGaydarâ€ is going off too Dick.

Gil Thorp-

Lisa Wycheâ€™s Mom in the conservatory, with the lead pipe.

Marvin –

Oh God, I need a drink.
Happy Happenstance
February 20th, 2007 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

#226 K Bear — Boxcar was one of the words Grandpa Chinnuts blurted out when Michael was visiting and bragging about his book. I don’t remember the exact date of the strip, but it was during the same week as the other expletives.
Sunny Mel Blatherscythe
February 20th, 2007 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

No, No , No!! I just read above that Cathy got married!!! To the aforementioned milquetoast Irving nonetheless..Please God, don’t let them breed! It will be 9 months of insufferable hormonal craving schtick!!!
Kate
February 20th, 2007 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

Tonight, I am drunk. And I still look forward lovingly to the day Michael dies.

I guess I’m not a happy drunk, eh?
Jack Parsons
February 21st, 2007 at 12:18 am [Reply]

Chopped Liver:

This is a colloquial translation from the Yiddish: “What? I converted to Christianity?”
bobbaloo
February 21st, 2007 at 12:29 am [Reply]

it took mary worth all of 3 real time days to fly to vietnam. the return trip is in its 5th day and no end in sight. this isn’t Mary Worth, it’s The Twilight Zone. dear god will someone shoot down the damn plane before i have to hear one more reference to how the current crop of noble americans are helping to undo the the damage the previous crop of baby killing americans caused!
Selena
February 21st, 2007 at 12:49 am [Reply]

Foob: aaaugggh! Michael quits his job because he know real managers help their team by abandoning them? His wife rejoices because she knows rasing two kids on one income is so much easier?

Maybe they’ve been talking abou how unhappy he was for awhile now, maybe he’d already suggested it to Deanna. Maybe they have such a close bond that she can read his face and knows his news. Maybe but we never get to see that kind of character development.

Boxcar! Foob’s plots have more and bigger holes than Gil Thorp.
Smitcat
February 21st, 2007 at 1:24 am [Reply]

MT: Hs anyone noticed the resemblance between Sally, dastardly Dan’s wife , and Sally, girlfriend of Eyebeam? Now we know what happened to her after the strip ended…
Dub Not Dubya
February 21st, 2007 at 1:33 am [Reply]

60 and 227: I hope this link will still work. When I went to the Chicago Tribune’s website to read the article about FOOB, the picture that was shown off to the side of the article was this one:

http://www.chicagotribune.com/media/thumbnails/blurb/2007-02/7455303.jpg

I laughed and laughed, certainly more than I’ve ever laughed at the strip itself.
Trilobite
February 21st, 2007 at 3:00 am [Reply]

Apparently after watching “Weeds,” Niki ordered something off the Spice Channel: there is simply no way you can imagine a teenager saying something like “And I’m happy I’m going to clean your garage!” to a sexpot like June Morgan that doesn’t involve it sounding utterly filthy. And judging from the dreamy, lustful expression on her face, June’s totally into it, too! If modern newspaper technology supported embedded music, there would be some funky-ass bassline and horns playing over that third panel.

Meanwhile, A3G is just…man, if this storyline doesn’t end with the Ghostbusters, I’m going to be pissed off. So basically, I’m going to be pissed off. Unless Margo storms over and just cracks Luann’s skull in half with a baseball bat while shrieking obscenities…that would be satisfactory, I think.
reader-who-posts
February 21st, 2007 at 3:23 am [Reply]

Archie: When I was a kid I used to throw a whiffle ball at a plastic pin 10 feet down the hall and that was more difficult than was Reggie’s doing.

MT: This may be a stupid question but is it normal for a criminal to be talking to himself incessantly while he sneaks outside to hide some stolen crap in a pond? You know, I may be crazy but I think I’d want to be quiet.

MW: Wow, Mary is so sharp to realize that some of the children were born less than 30 years ago!

Phantom: I like Ike!
Caged Tygre
February 21st, 2007 at 3:26 am [Reply]

RMMD: If there is a level between subtle sexual innuendo and just showing everything outright, I think Wilson + Nolan have found it.

A3G: If it had just been the first panel, it would have been one of my favorite comics ever:
From the lovely exposition box, to Luann’s smug confidence that her questions are important, to Albert’s sad resignation to his fate; he is in hell, where for some reason it is always snowing, and in this hell he shall be constantly assaulted with a barrage of inane patter from the woman who inspired the influx of dumb blonde jokes in email inboxes across the globe.
Jym Dyer
February 21st, 2007 at 3:45 am [Reply]

=226= Foob: The Foob website is best for this, ’cause it gives you the blinking Boxcar!!

=227= Foob again: From the interview:

“It’s time for me to make a change because I don’t want to look at my work and say, ‘You know, it’s not my best work anymore,’ which is what would happen if I was to continue and try to tell stories about things I know nothing about.

I respect that.

=235= MT/Eyebeam: The real Sally has much longer hair.
Coffeeclash
February 21st, 2007 at 5:58 am [Reply]

A3G – “What do you want from me? Because I’m here for you Albert…no matter what it is.” No wonder he did a ghostly head bobble!!

(DT)GT – “It’s not funny, R.J. That’s why I can’t wipe the shit-eating grin off my face.”

Quality Time at Milford High. Coming soon to the horror section of your local video store.
K Bear
February 21st, 2007 at 5:59 am [Reply]

thanks Happy Happenstance and Jym Dyer!

and 230…hee!
benro
February 21st, 2007 at 6:35 am [Reply]

(FOOB) Lynn’s quote:

Itâ€™s time for me to make a change because I donâ€™t want to look at my work and say, â€˜You know, itâ€™s not my best work anymore,â€™ which is what would happen if I was to continue and try to tell stories about things I know nothing about.

I hate to break the news, but it’s past time to make a change, because this is not your best work anymore, because you are obviously continuing to try to tell stories about things you know nothing about.
Ukulele Ike
February 21st, 2007 at 7:39 am [Reply]

238: Why do you think Dog-Dopin’ Dan is hiding stolen crap in the lake? My hypothesis is that he has a big bag of rainbow trout with him which he is affixing to the bottom of the boat, so that when he goes out fishing with Mark he will somehow contrive to get them from the bag onto his hook all underwater, and show Mark up as the Bull-Goose-Fishing-Champ of Lost Forest. Perhaps a wager of some sort will be involved. Remember Mark telling Cherry that Dan was always trying to find a card game?

RMMD: I too am looking forward to the hot and steamy garage-cleaning action. But what about Elvis, all cold and shivery out there in just his wife-beater tee shirt? HE didn’t get a hot, nutritious broccoli-based meal. Can’t he just shoot Nikki through a window and be done with it If he’s afraid of Abbey the Wonder Dog, can’t he just shoot Nikki through a window and be done with it?
Sheilagh
February 21st, 2007 at 7:50 am [Reply]

Deanna is ecstatic because now she can get the boxcar saturn out of the house and leave those horrible children to Mike for most of the day. Not to mention, if she’s bringing home the bacon, she can siphon some off for her emergency I-can’t-stand-it-I’m-leaving-you-Michael fund. Hallelujah!!!

I find it ominous, though, that she’s saying “now we don’t have to get an apartment in the city.” So, um, where ARE they planning to live? House in the suburbs? Or (ohmigod WHERE is the verisimilitude???) are they planning to stay on with the senior Pattersons? WTF — they ask for crash space in an emergency and then grow roots? I’d be giving ultimatums and setting deadlines and calling the moving van for Tuesday, if a bunch of freeloader adult children were camped out in MY house. When does April get her room back???
Gatormom
February 21st, 2007 at 7:53 am [Reply]

FOOB: Of COURSE Deanne is happy. She can now spend long hours at work, away from the the Patterson vampires. She can go the bathroom without Wobin pounding at the door, begging to watch. She can drink coffee quietly by her computer without Mewedith snotting all over the keyboard. She doesn’t have to listen to Ellie flap her arms to relieve the menopause hots.
Hell, she’ll be volunteering for triple overtime in mere days.
smacky
February 21st, 2007 at 8:05 am [Reply]

TDIET: Foreigners sure are annoying, huh? So says faithful reader J. Dvorsky from the Bronx, who no doubt came over on the Mayflower and speaks perfect English with no hint of an accent.
andreavis
February 21st, 2007 at 8:13 am [Reply]

FOOB: oh wow, a great new reason to despise Michael– Deanna wanted him to quit this whole time and he didn’t! And when in the Margo-Saturn-Boxcar did he have time to write an outline for a SECOND ~~pile of turgid prose~~ novel??? As if!
stinky pete
February 21st, 2007 at 8:18 am [Reply]

244 Uke Ike, “If heâ€™s afraid of Abbey the Wonder Dog, canâ€™t he just shoot Nikki through a window and be done with it?”

I’m reminded of this scene from Austin Powers:

Scott Evil: I have a gun, in my room, you give me five seconds, I’ll get it, I’ll come back down here, BOOM, I’ll blow their brains out!

Dr. Evil: Scott, you just don’t get it, do ya? You don’t.
John C Fremont
February 21st, 2007 at 8:18 am [Reply]

MW – Jeff sure looks pissed off at Mary today. Good.

RMMD – This “cleaning the garage” thing – Wilson and Nolan are just messing with us now.

SF – Oh, crap. I kinda like the girl. This is not good.

JP – The way what’s-her-name is hoisting that coffee pot, it must be filled with mercury or molten lead. Oh, and Sam’s a jerk.
Jamus The Bartender
February 21st, 2007 at 8:27 am [Reply]

245. Sheilagh, Elly and John will NEVER kick out Mike and his screaming brood, because they’re FAMILY. This is all about FAMILY values, which trump all, including privacy and personal space. Elizabeth with the milk-eh SHOULD be kicked out on her ass, but she won’t, because she’s FAMILY. I’ll tell you what will happen, John and Elly and the trains will all move to that little house they were talking about and let the kids have the big place, because they’re FAMILY. It doesn’t have to make sense, because they’re FAMILY. I’ve heard this kind of similar dreck from my own FAMILY. Things like this are why I live about five hours from my own FAMILY….
willethompson
February 21st, 2007 at 8:30 am [Reply]

DT: A shadowy guy who has been huffing Smilex is talking about sending ‘love notes’ to Tracy while opening the door to the “Dick Locker.” Why stop there? Why not have him peeling a nice phallic banana with a limp wrist? Or waving a $3 bill printed on lavender paper? Why doesn’t he just lisp and get it over with?

RMMD: “Gosh. Mrs. Morgan! If I hadn’t been a purse-snatcher that almost put a zoo guard into cardiac arrest, if my mom didn’t have the look and aroma of a charcoal briquette and if some skaggy meth hound hadn’t cracked my jaw and is now waiting outside to perforate my liver with 9 mm of hot lead, I never would have met you! I am one lucky motherfÂ¥Â¢&er! Kill me now!”

JP: OK, we KNOW Rachel is filthy rich! And that she’s dying! Why dwell on this when there is so much more drama to mine? When is Cedric going to reveal his evil plan? When are le bonne hommes habitants going to barricade the streets and declare Montreal as the capital of a French Empire stretching from Alcase to Hudson Bay to Guadelupe? When does Neddy go ballistic after having to (huff) wait in LINE (snit) and answer QUESTIONS and (loud sigh) deal with the FRENCH?? I want the hilarity to cease pending and start ensuing, DAMMIT!
Jamus The Bartender
February 21st, 2007 at 8:31 am [Reply]

FOOB: For those of you who’ve never read Cerebus the Aardvark by Dave Sim, this may not make sense, but for those that did…
Doesn’t Deanna’s hairdo look like the haircut Cerebus’ sometime girlfriend Jaka got in a dream sequence when they were married and Cerebus made her chop it because long hair “made her look like a harlot”. Sorta makes you think about MIke Boxcar…
willethompson
February 21st, 2007 at 8:32 am [Reply]

DT (again): And Lt. Teevo “releases (communications) at convenient intervals?” Then shouldn’t his name be Lt. Anal Sphincter?
Monkeys Uncle
February 21st, 2007 at 8:44 am [Reply]

RMMD:”Cleaning the garage” seems like such an ugly euphemism for this tender moment between a juvenile delinquent and a married nurse. I think they should have gone with something more subtle and tasteful like “lapsnorkeling”
miraclemet
February 21st, 2007 at 9:00 am [Reply]

Pst Lynn…Deanna looks like a whore when she closes her eyes.

Coincidentally Elizabeth looks like a whore when I close my eyes…
Lyman Returns
February 21st, 2007 at 9:06 am [Reply]

Anyone who hasn’t read post #146 should do so. It is totally awesome!

FBOFW-Wasn’t Mike the Editor-in-Chief of the magazine? You really can’t go on publishing a magazine without an EiC. I think the publisher is just going to replace Mike and fire someone else.

You have to love how this totally evil publishing mogul comes out of absolutely nowhere and blindsides St. Mike with his dastardly schemes. Lynn should have gone all-out and dressed the guy all in black, have him twirling his moustache, and inhabit an office equipped with a pirahna tank in which to cast the fools who displease him. Either that, or make him a Sith Lord.
teenchy
February 21st, 2007 at 9:13 am [Reply]

#60: Should the pornstachioed one now be referred to as “Quandary”?

Related: I’m no Weird Al so song parodies are beyond my range of talents. That said, the lyrics to the Beatles’ “I’ll Get You” are perfectly suited to Quandary’s POV re Lizardbreath:

Oh yeah, oh yeah,
oh yeah, oh yeah,
Imagine I’m in love with you
it’s easy ’cause I know
I’ve imagined I’m in love with you
many, many, many times before
It’s not like me to pretend
But I’ll get you
I’ll get you in the end
Yes, I will, I’ll get you in the end

Oh yeah, oh yeah
I think about you night and day
I need you and it’s true
When I think about you I can say
I’m never, never, never, never blue
So I’m telling you, my friend
That I’ll get you
I’ll get you in the end
Yes, I will, I’ll get you in the end

Oh yeah
Well, there’s gonna be a time
When I’m gonna change your mind
So you might as well resign yourself to me

Oh yeah,
Imagine I’m in love with you
it’s easy ’cause I know
I’ve imagined I’m in love with you
many, many, many times before
It’s not like me to pretend
But I’ll get you
I’ll get you in the end
Yes, I will, I’ll get you in the end
Oh yeah, oh yeah
oh yeah oh yeah
oh yeah
teenchy
February 21st, 2007 at 9:15 am [Reply]

Of course, “I’ll get you in the end” could be something Michael says to Weed or vice versa.
Dennis Jimenez
February 21st, 2007 at 9:22 am [Reply]

RMMD – Panel 2 – lascivious leer – garage cleaning indeed! If only they could work a FBoFW wink into the panel.
Justafoob
February 21st, 2007 at 9:31 am [Reply]

Mike can certainly pound out the crap when he sits at the typewriter, can’t he.

I mean he Editor in Chief of a major Canadian Magazine (equivalent of the Daily Shopper here in the US), wrote and rewrote a novel, did freelance comic writings about his nutty neighbors the Kelpfroths, has freelance work lined up, has a complete outline for a second novel (working title Sheleigh II — The Dead Come Back Because They Weren’t Buried Right), etc etc etc…

All this while burning down his house, moving in with mommy and having a gay affair with Weed.

The guy is the Mozart of Canadian Prose.
Old Fogeyette
February 21st, 2007 at 9:39 am [Reply]

#203 monkeyhawk, AWESOME scenario! I love it! But I’m also still happy with the coma theory.

Just got up… must have coffee… read comics… and, probably, end this thread.
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 21st, 2007 at 9:40 am [Reply]

The last panel of FOOB just says it all. Deanna beams that she’ll be able to “keep” Michael longer (does he have a medical condition LJ never saw fit to tell us about?) Meanwhile, the dog looks like his little doggy brain is about to burst out of his skull. If only you could talk, boy!
benro
February 21st, 2007 at 9:50 am [Reply]

#252 – RMMD: The correct word is “motherboxcar”
JP: This is a strip that took four days to establish that the butler has the flu. If you’re looking for action, you’re in the wrong place.
Sheilagh
February 21st, 2007 at 9:55 am [Reply]

Jamus the Bartender, condolences! MY mom always told me a woman should live AT LEAST an hour from her parents, for the sanity of all concerned. Result, I’ve lived six hours away for the last 16 years. But I was always on EXCELLENT terms with both parents.

My mom knew what she was talking about. Elly’s a twit.
zeeba
February 21st, 2007 at 10:05 am [Reply]

2/21

Time for the morning hurl (yeah, still eating Wheaties while reading comix):

FOOB: http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2007/2/21&name=For_Better_Or_Worse

The tiny little bit of hope I had for Deanna to put it to the Pattersons once and for all is now dashed forever. “Keep you for longer?” Yeah, Mike Patterson is SUCH a prize.

Luann:
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2007/2/21&name=Luann

Brad is SUCH a brown noser poser. “responsible adult.” Yeah, until the first keg party, then you’re outta there big boy!

Pluggers:
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2007/2/21&name=Pluggers

Enough said.

After those 3, it’s a wonder I kept anything down. But I started feeling much better after reading R&R:

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2007/2/21&name=Red_n_Rover

As a HUGE Monkees fan all these years, it’s nice to have some validation for them. I’d put ANY of Mike Nesmith’s songs next to Lennon/McCartney–they’ve held up very well (”While I Cry,” “Sweet Young Thing,” “Circle Sky,” “You Told Me,” and so many more). I KNEW there was a reason I liked Rover.
willethompson
February 21st, 2007 at 10:13 am [Reply]

#264 Benro – actually, in CCish, it would be ‘mother(margo)ing’ but I felt the fÂ¥Â¢& conveyed Niki’s angst more succinctly – that, and I don’t think he would know CC for fÂ¥Â¢& as I’ve never seen him post here. Although he could be Galactic Emperor Chennux for all I know.
dreadedcandiru2
February 21st, 2007 at 10:16 am [Reply]

266 – Foob: I wonder how MIRA would react to all this, hmm? She may be a bit tradtionally minded, but I do NOT think she wanted her daughter to be this dolt’s grinning slave girl. Considering the pile of wreckage his bad decisions leave behind, I’D seriously consider challenging the Pattersaints for custody of Merrie and Robin.
rich
February 21st, 2007 at 10:17 am [Reply]

264: Action in JP? I’d be happy just to find a coherent storyline. Consider the Mark Trail formula: Mystery – Conflict – Resolution. All wrapped up neatly in about two months. JP is just flailing about in some vague soap opera land … fatal disease, uninformed children, inheritance, berets, mysterious Clark Kent temp … nothing even resembling a plot!

I also challenge anyone to succinctly sum up the last few months of A3G for me. I read it every day and still have no idea how Eric-Albert-moustachioed director-Jim Gaffigan nerdboy-creepy old superintendent adds up to actual linear storytelling!

(Though I do have a hunch that the creepy super has been pumping airborne hallucinogens into Luanne’s loft…)
Len
February 21st, 2007 at 10:19 am [Reply]

[I posted this on the Etch-A-Sketch thread. It's about Apt. 3-G]

Albert, the friendly ghost!
The friendliest ghost youâ€™ll know.
Margot takes flight
Over him with fright,
But our Luann just loves him so!

Heâ€™s blue from head to toe
Like the Avatar named Krishna.
As he haunts her studio
He helps Luann to paint her pict-cher.

Sane folks donâ€™t understand
Why Luann â€œdigsâ€ him the most.
But the blonde is pumped
(though at first she jumped!)
Seeing Albert the friendly ghost!

(Thank you. Thank you. Please tip your waitress.)
Len
February 21st, 2007 at 10:25 am [Reply]

I thought the logos on Archie’s bowling league shirts said “BUPPIES.” That don’t make sense!

If Mary Worth went bowling, she’d wear league shirts that said “BIDDIES.”

The South-east Asian kids whom she deprived of Dr. Jeff’s healing skills, they might have shirts labelled “BUDDHAS.”

Okay. Guess it’s time for me to get my glasses upgraded.
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 21st, 2007 at 10:26 am [Reply]

SF: I wish Slylock and Max actually appeared in today’s installment.
Gary says Sally is the hottest girl he’s ever seen up close. Sally doesn’t say anything, just kind of grunts. Slylock believes these two weird-looking pink monkeys have no business being together, and that Sally thinks about Gary’s brother during sex. What clue tipped him off?
willethompson
February 21st, 2007 at 10:34 am [Reply]

#270 len – thanks for reposting that! I had just been checking that thread and saw the song – too funny! ‘Avatar:Krishna’ and ‘paint her pit-cha’ – Niiiiice.
Dennis Jimenez
February 21st, 2007 at 10:40 am [Reply]

SF/SF crossover – Slylock attends birthday party and discovers host has dipped his penis in the punch bowl – how does he know?

This part upside down – Slylock tastes punch on Ted’s dick. Oh, and some sort of Archemedes kind of punch displacement deal, too.
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
February 21st, 2007 at 10:40 am [Reply]

GAAAH! The second panel of DT…it’s…The Man With Two Faces! It’s like one of those duck-rabbits, or the vase thing. Only, with the terrifying.
NEW-ME
February 21st, 2007 at 10:46 am [Reply]

I say 24 hours drive away from family is the best!
gh
February 21st, 2007 at 10:48 am [Reply]

Say what you will about today’s Slylock Fox, at least we get to witness the Return of the Fish Skeleton. All’s right with the world.
Kate
February 21st, 2007 at 10:48 am [Reply]

Could Galactic Emperor Chennux come eat the FOOB family? That would rock.
gh
February 21st, 2007 at 10:50 am [Reply]

Re: distance from parents

When my cousin and I lived in Colorado Springs and our parents in Cincy, we sometimes wondered if we should move to the western slope and put the Rockies between us and them, just in case.
Buck Ripsnort
February 21st, 2007 at 10:51 am [Reply]

Today’s A3G: “Why no, dear Ghost! If I wanted to know what Death was like, I could just look at Tommie’s sex life!” ZING!
Cathy: At one point, Cathy (improbably enough) had several men after her; the scary thing was bland, on-again,off-again Irving was the best she could do. Talk about self-loathing.
Justafoob
February 21st, 2007 at 11:01 am [Reply]

Deanna has a plan.

She is pregnant with their third spawn.

Her plan, stolen from Francoise is to have a baby shower and charge people to hold the baby, look at the baby, breast feed the baby, etc.
ianscot
February 21st, 2007 at 11:24 am [Reply]

2/21 Curtis: Keeping in mind the old axiom about the size of a man’s feet, one imagines Curtis’s model girlfriend will have a light bulb over her head in tomorrow’s installment. Then we can have a month of Curtis much like the interminable “Jon finally hooks up” plotline in Garfield a while back.
ianscot
February 21st, 2007 at 11:33 am [Reply]

2/21 Family Circus: There’s something deeply satisfying, today, about the time and effort clearly expended on the cookies being dunked by Jeffy. Despite that effort they’re badly out of place in the strip — being shaded in a way that’s inconsistent with the rest of the thing, out of scale for little Jeffy’s hand and in any case inconsistent in size unless the glass in the foreground is absolutely ginormous. The glass itself clearly preoccupied our Keane family artist for some time as well.

One imagines “Bil Keane” (or “Jeffy”) conceiving the grand opus that is this joke and then becoming bogged down in the details of the thing, realizing early on that he’d never drawn as complex an object as these cookies but wanting to follow through. Possibly beads of sweat gathered on the artist’s (extremely low) brow, and perhaps the tip of his tongue stuck out from the corner of his little black circle of a mouth during the effort. Such is the Keane devotion to the craft.
ianscot
February 21st, 2007 at 11:37 am [Reply]

2/21 Mark Trail: A lovingly rendered Black Crowned Night Heron will be feasting on the fish that gather to eat Dan Thomas’s decaying body today at dusk. For now, home for a nap!
Poteet
February 21st, 2007 at 11:46 am [Reply]

FOOB ALERT: Apologies if this has been pointed out already. My sister pointed it out to me. It’s a Foobsite link with possible titles for Michael’s (gag) novel. Prepare for suffering! Some of these titles are even worse than the ones that have glowed in my Foob nightmares.

http://www.fborfw.com/news/002325.php
Old Fogeyette
February 21st, 2007 at 11:50 am [Reply]

Well, I’ve had my coffee and read the comics, and I’m pissed off again.

A3G’s ridiculous storyline and MW’s unbelievable dialogue are annoying to the point of teeth grinding or fingernails on a chalkboard, but what really gets me today is:

FOOB: Margo! Boxcar! Saturn! Cheney! That *&%@# Foobian twit has his second book outlined already? And just when did he have time to do that? It’s been about a minute and a half since the miraculous sale of his first novel. Listen, Mike. Your chances of making a living as a writer–let alone a writer of fiction–are about somewhere between zero and zilch. Just know, as you work away on your second masterpiece, that your coma-sunken brain is disintegrating with every word you write. With every punctuation mark, you are sinking deeper into a slough of desuetude. Eventually those neurons will quit firing altogether and even this sweet coma-induced dream will end. Then it will just be a matter of your loved ones agreeing to pull the plug, unless you are such a selfish sonofabitch that you neglected to leave a living will and medical power of attorney.
queek
February 21st, 2007 at 11:52 am [Reply]

once again, Rhymes with Orange wins the “Worst Pun of the Day” award.

Lio reminds us why we all read the comics.

PBS rocks. even on days without the crocs.

Nike gets it. (as others have noticed already)
Poteet
February 21st, 2007 at 11:53 am [Reply]

# 285 — I think that so far, the title I hate most is “Let Me Be Judged By God.” But there are other contenders, and maybe Lynn will add more possible titles later. Now I have the grim satisfaction of knowing that my initial paranoia about this novel, which began as soon as it was mentioned in the strip, was justified. It’s the ultimate sibling rivalry — whose storylines can cause the most CC hurling, Lizardbreath or Mikeyuck? For me, it’s definitely Mikeyuck for now, but I’m not ruling out Lizardbreath entirely The race to September continues!
Lyman Returns
February 21st, 2007 at 11:55 am [Reply]

The title for Mike Patterson’s second novel”

Sheleigh versus Mecha-Godzilla.

Or Bigfoot. Or Dracula. Or Abraham Lincoln.
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
February 21st, 2007 at 11:56 am [Reply]

285 Poteetie – Did you notice the last one listed? Growing Stones – something Mike will never do! (C’mon, fess up – one of us submitted that one, right?)
PeteMoss
February 21st, 2007 at 11:58 am [Reply]

Vos noz ka pop — ha ha ha — Bookis? Von Lookbokee au frammistanis et accalarium — etc., etc.. Indeed. I would add, “Von Lookbokee nyotelus bopsloppy et accalarium. Remolah, remolah, remolah. Poodlelop resching, everytime.” Ha ha.
gh
February 21st, 2007 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

For everyone who is just plain fed up with the whole Ghost in the Studio storyline

(and apologies to Leonard Cohen*)

Luann brings you down
With her ghost and her orchids
You can hear her babble nonsense
You can sense the brains denied her
And you know that she’s half crazy
And that’s why you want to flee her
And she eats her cheese burrito
That came all the way from Krogerâ€™s
And just when you mean to tell her
That you have no interest in her
Then she threatens you with Gina
And she lets you think it over
So you flinch and try to cover
And you want to strangulate her
For the sake of all mankind
And you know that she will trust you
For you’ve watched her perfect bobble
Be outlined.

And Tommie needs a tailor
When she ventures out in public
And she spent a long time watching
From her lonely bedroom window
And when she knew for certain
Only boring men could like her
She said “All men will be boring then
Until a moustache frees them”
But she herself was boring
Long before the docent met her
Forsaken, almost human
Possessing the charisma of a stone
And you want to dress her better
For the sake of all mankind
And you know that she will trust you
For you’ve watched her perfect bobble
Be outlined.

Now Luann takes your hand
And she leads you to the counter
She is microwaving something
And she claims the thing is talking
And you search for a blunt object
For our lady of the nutjobs
And she shows you where to look
Among the easel and the flowers
There are skillets in the kitchen
Thereâ€™s a golf club in the closet
They are calling out for use
And they will call that way forever
While Luann blinks in wonder
And you want to bash her skull in
For the sake of all mankind
And you know that she will trust you
For you’ve watched her perfect bobble
Be outlined.

*uh, “Suzanne”
Anonymous
February 21st, 2007 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

235 Smitcat: Eyebeam lives on, with Sally, in the weekly Austin Chronicle (and Sam Hurt’s website, linked above).
andreavis
February 21st, 2007 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

#271: Len, I like the irony of Archie’s team being named the “Buppies”. Archie et al. are neither black, urban, nor professional; in fact, they are about as white, small-town, and arrestedly developed as you can get. These idiots have been teenagers since the 40’s, after all.

FOOB: Mike’s second novel title: Sheilaugh Two : Electric Boogaloo.
Poteet
February 21st, 2007 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

# 290 –BWAHAHAHA! Thanks, Gadge. I totally missed that.

I wonder if the title “What you Sew” represents

(1) Incompetent use of capital letters
(2) Lynn mistaking “sew” for “sow”
(3) A horrid Lynnian sew-sow play on words
(4) Lynn not remembering that the famous quote is “As ye sow,” not “Ahat you sow”
(5) some combination of the above

Actually, I think one of the best titles is “As God Is My Witness.” That one should make the novel fly right off the shelves.
Monkey David
February 21st, 2007 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

I love today’s A3G:

Ghost: Would you like me to explain the mysteries of the universe?

Luann: What’s that got to do with me? Let’s talk about me.
Poteet
February 21st, 2007 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

# 295 — That’s “What you sow” in # 4 of course. Sorry. My subconscious was telling me that Lynn is an asshat.
Tracer Bullet
February 21st, 2007 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

RMMD:

Let’s try to predict what Niki will steal from the Morgans’ garage:

1) Power tools
2) The car
3) All the metal in June’s “Closet of Pain”
4) Everything that isn’t nailed down including Rex’s stack of “anatomic studies” of muscular young men
Poteet
February 21st, 2007 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

# 292 — gh, that is one of your best ever, which is saying a lot.

A3G — Are we to take it that Albert is a serial haunter? He talks as if he has often experienced the stupidities of humans talking to ghosts. And if he wants Lu Ann to become yet another forger of his paintings, I really don’t think she’s up to it.
SuperPenguin
February 21st, 2007 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

Thanks to a previous poster who pointed out some strange inconsistencies in the panels in yesterday’s MW. Looking at that and today’s provides some serious fodder for reflection for the keen-eyed curmudgeon. My current theory is that in between panels, they’re actually playing musical chairs in the plane and possibly switching planes, too. Come to think of it, that would explain why the trip home is taking so long. They’re actually still stuck on the tarmac at the airport in Vietnam because the plane is in need of repairs, so the passengers are amusing themselves by playing musical chairs.
gh
February 21st, 2007 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

#285 Poteet

I took a chance and peeked at the book titles. Not too painful. But . . . “The Soddy”??

Why not “The Sodfather” or “Sod You, Margo Boxcar”? “I Sod I Sew A Pallid Hack”? “As Sod Is My Witness”?

Personally, Iâ€™m holding out for â€œSheilagh’s Spawn.â€

I think Lynn’s just not trying. [Oh, she's trying all right. Very.]
Poteet
February 21st, 2007 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

# 298 — Good choices, Tracer. I’d go for Number Four except that as I’m sure has been pointed out, it’s likely that the entire reason for the endless discussion of garage cleaning is so Niki can be in a handy location to get snatched by Elvis and possibly Eightball. I just hope Abbey the Wonder Dog won’t get hurt.
gh
February 21st, 2007 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

#299 Poteet

Thank you, ma’am!
Poteet
February 21st, 2007 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

# 301 — gh, while “Sheilagh’s Spawn” has its charms, I’m more enchanted by “Sod You, Margo Boxcar.” I really think you’ve got something there.
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
February 21st, 2007 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

292 gh: I’m speechless. That’s brilliant.
Goose overhead
February 21st, 2007 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

What Josh missed:

In the earlier Marvin baby excrement panel, Ling-Ling or Ming-Ming or whatever baby panda name they gave her is BEING BOTTLE FED BY A GROWN-UP BERNICE FROM LUANN!

Assuming Luann’s marrying Gunther, does that mean Zane and Bernice got together again? Or is Bernice a brave single-mom adoptee? In Luann?
Jamus The Bartender
February 21st, 2007 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

Thumbs up Sheilagh. VERY good call indeed. There was hope Lizard Breath might have done something marginally cool by teaching in Mgtickland, but now she’s watering plants with milk. I know I keep hammering that point into the ground, but still…
AhClem
February 21st, 2007 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

#292 gh –

Brilliant!! I could hear Leonard Cohen’s voice singing those words. And now, please excuse me while I wipe the fried rice and Diet Pepsi off my monitor, cubicle wall and co-workers.
Anonymous
February 21st, 2007 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

Sheleigh II â€“ Sheleigh is alone in her cabin when a gaggle of marauders from south of the border ride by and ~~gang rape~~ have a brief relationship with her. She suffers hardship and shame for several chapters and finally has a baby alone just as winter is setting in. There are many twists and turns. Her little daughter grows up asking where her daddy is, while Sheleigh deals with changes in the world around her. Eventually the daughter, Apransia, goes roadside in an attempt to find love but never does. She eventually writes a â€œcomicâ€ strip about how life is empty and futile called Fooby Witherspoon. Apransia puts Sheleigh in a home where she sits mumbling and suffering until a massive urinary infection kills her. Apransia only gets a subsistence income from the â€œcomicâ€ strip because the syndicate tricked her into signing a one-sided contract. She goes from man to man, finally dies alone. Her skeleton is eventually found after all her flesh is eaten by her cats. She is never identified because nobody knows her. The â€œcomicâ€ strip has been outsourced to India and continues without her.
Ribinin
February 21st, 2007 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

Oops, that was me. Since the tread is about to end, it doesn’t matter anyway.
Old Fogeyette
February 21st, 2007 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

#292 gh: Best. Parody. Ever.
NotGodot
February 21st, 2007 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Maybe there’s a whole side to this we’re not seeing. Maybe Michael is Deanna’s sub or something. That’d at least explain the creepy kept man pseudo-pun.
rich
February 21st, 2007 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

298, 302: I think it’ll be an excuse for Rex to “show him his golfclubs.”
SmartPeopleOnIce
February 21st, 2007 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

So I guessin’ this thread is Jenga, and any post might push it over the edge, but that’s the way we CC’ers roll. Tha’ SPOIdog’s in the margosporkin’ house! (or not).

Anyhoo:

A3G What do I want from you? Well, for starters, I want to see you press your forearms together. My head ain’t all that’s blue, if you catch my drift…

RMMD Yeah, yeah. Enough being happy about it and more gettin’ on with it. I’m watchin’ you Wilson and Nolan, ya hear me? Remember Chekhov: If in the first act you show a messy garage, then in the following one it should be cleaned. Otherwise don’t show it at all.

GF Bucky Points!
gh
February 21st, 2007 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

#266 zeeba

When I was in college, inevitably Truth or Dare eventually came around to â€œHow many Monkees albums did you buy when you were a kid?â€ Most people chose â€œDare.â€

I will confess to still finding â€œIâ€™m A Believer/Stepping Stoneâ€ one of the best 1-2 punch 45s ever. Thatâ€™s right, EVAH!
rich
February 21st, 2007 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

TDIET: Finally, a truly contemporary one, actually set in the 21st century! A guy yakks on his cell phone — about the exciting Lodge meeting he went to last night!…

…never mind.
Perky Bird
February 21st, 2007 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

Look at the size of those gi-normous cookies the Family Circus kid is eating! And the quantity! And I seriously doubt that milk is skim or low-fat, either. No wonder kids today are so obese…
stinky pete
February 21st, 2007 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

314 SPOIdog, was that Anton or Pavel?
benro
February 21st, 2007 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

RMMD – As near as I can tell, though it’s impossible to really tell, based on the fact that Niki was watching Weeds on Showtime before dinner (having never watched the show I don’t know what time it came on, but I would have to assume at least 9PM), then ate dinner, and cleaned the dishes, it’s at least 11PM by the time he starts to think about cleaning the garage. After such a trying day, you would think that June would at least let him have a good night’s sleep and then do the garage in daylight. But of course, that wouldn’t give Elvis the opportunity to find Niki in the garage. This is worse than a bad horror movie.
stinky pete
February 21st, 2007 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

314 SPOI, I believe it was Tolstoy who said, “Clean garages are all alike; every messy garage is messy in its own way.”
gh
February 21st, 2007 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

GCMP, AhClem, Old Fogeyette

In the words of Goofy: “Gorsh!” (finger in collar as red rises from neck to forehead)
SmartPeopleOnIce
February 21st, 2007 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

PS: COLOR MY POISONOUS TREE FROG!
willethompson
February 21st, 2007 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

gh – BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I second AhClem on the Suzanne thing, except I channeled Joan Baez instead of Cohen, and instead of fried rice, it was a spicy bean soup, which, while perhaps not as messy as chewed rice, is not without its charms, especially since the cat chose that moment to walk on the desk and is now emotionally scarred whenever I play “Allelujia” besides looking like a visual metaphor of MichaeFOOBl’s next novel if it were vomit, which it is.
willethompson
February 21st, 2007 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

gh – oh, boxcar saturn, I read it again and it’s still coffee-spewing hilarious. I owe ya one, big guy…
SmartPeopleOnIce
February 21st, 2007 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

In the spirit of Funky Wellbutrin (and crashing the thread) I give you: despair, inc.

Jenga! Jenga! Jenga! …
Kate
February 21st, 2007 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

*clawing at eyes* Dear God, Poteet, those titles! “The Soddy” was a rabbit-punch I couldn’t recover from … I didn’t make it much further down the list.

Lynn HAS to know this is bad. Nobody couldn’t.
NEW-ME
February 21st, 2007 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

SmartPeopleOnIce Despair Inc. Rocks!!!
gh
February 21st, 2007 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

#324 willethompson

Consider it payment in full for the CHENNUX cartoon taped to the wall.
Shannon
February 21st, 2007 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

MW: Okay. Evidently the the “enemy” was children who had not yet been conceived.

Pluggers: Pluggers smell bad.

Slylock Fox: There seems to be a plate with a piece of cake on it buried in that gentleman’s back.

TDIET: So, is this a Meta-TDIET? The foolishness and inconsistency seems to be on the part of the submitter.
Old Fogeyette
February 21st, 2007 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

I don’t have too many artists on my ipod, but I do have the Monkees… “Listen to the Band,” which I consider one of the great all-time rock tales of lost love.

And I simply can’t drink any more coffee. Will this thread never end?
Poteet
February 21st, 2007 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

# 326 — Sorry, Kate. Not being noble like Sheilagh, my sister and I hate to suffer alone:-), so putting up that link was therapeutic.

Another possible title, given that the doofuses in the book were farming without even knowing what “fallow” means — “Sheilagh and Harvey — Dumber Than A Box of Rocks.”
gh
February 21st, 2007 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

Best depiction of a human in Mark Trail, 2007: today’s panel 2.
gh
February 21st, 2007 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

er . . .

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070221&name=Mark_Trail
AppleGirl
February 21st, 2007 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

285 – “Prayrie” – Best laugh I’ve had all week! Hahahaha! Thanks, Poteet. There are some total gems in there.
AppleGirl
February 21st, 2007 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

286 – Fogeyette, I have seen Mike’s outline for the second novel:

A. All work and no play
- 1. Make Mike
- 2. a dull boy

B. All work and no play
- 1. Make Mike
- 2. a dull boy

C. All work and no play
- 1. Make Mike
- 2. a dull boy

D. All work and no play
- 1. Make Mike
- 2. a dull boy
SmartPeopleOnIce
February 21st, 2007 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

Jenga!
zeeba
February 21st, 2007 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

315 gh and 330 Old Fogeyette: nice to hear from other Monkees’ fans. And nice for their music to finally be appreciated.

and gh: I was singing Suzanne right along with your parody, ROTFL!!!!
Old Fogeyette
February 21st, 2007 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

335 Apple Girl: HAHAHAHAHAHA! You nailed it!
reader-who-posts
February 21st, 2007 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

A3G: Wow. A ghost appears before Luann and her first response is “enough about you, what about me?”. My first question would be how the hell a ghost sighs. My second question would be whether he knows Aldo Kelrast.

FC: Opaque milk?

MW: Yes, Mary, dioxins only effect the Viet Cong and their descendants.

Also, originally there was a another seat to Dr. Cory’s right (see Feb 17), now he’s in the window seat.

Phantom: Hey, it’s just a potential murder, why rush?

JP: Is Sam aware of child labor laws?

Plugger: Someone needs to explain to Rolly Church of Crete, NE that deodorant needs to be augmented with the occasional shower.

Spider-Man: First Peter was upset because in his interview Spider-man was linked to Mary Jane. Now he’s upset because this bimbo is claiming to be his wife, and deflecting the link to Mary Jane. He should just be called the Clueless Spider-Man.

BB: And it was said in Camp Swampy that Mrs. Buxleys breasts grew three sizes that day.
brendan
February 21st, 2007 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

why is pooping shameful?
Tweeks_Coffee
February 21st, 2007 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

#266 – Thank you! I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one reading R&R. Though I’d go for Beatles over Monkees any day.
Virginia
February 22nd, 2007 at 1:10 am [Reply]

I really hate Cathy. Sure, when I was 10 I thought it was funny, thankfully many years of therapy helped me through that hump

Seriously, the comic is three panel of subcategories with a “punchline” that translates into one of two things: “Women are gullible”; or “Boy Men and Women are Different!” I see more variety of humor in an Andy Griffith show.
Rosebud
February 22nd, 2007 at 10:02 am [Reply]

It’s nice to see that in the wake of Joey being cancelled that Matt LeBlanc has been able to find work as Reggie.
Shiptic Canker
February 22nd, 2007 at 11:16 am [Reply]

Yeah! And nice to see Regis Philbin accepted the role of Lt. Teevo! And is that Richard Dreyfuss I see in panel one of GT, under that tight ‘fro?

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