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Little big man

Family Circus, 3/8/07

Man, does the total and constant humiliation of Jeffy ever get old? I’m going to go ahead and say “no.” In a normal human family, Grandma would have probably sent clothes a few sizes too big in the expectation that her grandson would soon grow into them; however, since Jeffy’s been the same height for decades and shows no sign of getting any taller, we have to assume that her aim was to drive him ever deeper into self-loathing.

The Phantom, 3/8/07

So the Phantom is in the midst of an incredibly dull storyline involving the kidnapping of Old Man Mozz and some bank robbers who want the seer to [Note: Rest of recap cut because of extreme dullness. --Eds.] Anyway, I’d just like to point out that Kono slipping and falling on the steps of the bank he’s attempting to rob, followed by him cracking his dreadlocked skull open as his eyes roll back in his head, is a pretty gruesome image for the funny pages.

And where is our purple-clad, stripy-butt hero in all of this? Last we saw him, he was lounging in a jungle clearing while his cone-headed midget sidekick was napping on top of an elephant. No, really.

Pluggers, 3/8/07

You heard it here first, people: The only choice available for the radio-listening plugger is “AM” or “FM.” What, you also want to be able to change channels within each band? What are you, some kind of chardonnay-swilling East Coast liberal elitist? In this sense, plugger radios are like the one available in Nazi Germany, which were also pre-set to a single station. Although my guess is that pluggers listen to a lot fewer hateful rants about how the Jews are undermining the purity of the master race and a lot more hateful rants about how the Cowboys really need to get more free agent help for their offensive line.

I also note that today’s featured plugger has been banished out of the house entirely, presumably so that his radio listening doesn’t distract his she-plugger mate from her “stories.” Either that, or all his furniture has been repossessed and a tree stump is a “plugger easy chair.”

They’ll Do It Every Time, 3/8/07

The looks of pure joy on the faces of Loopina’s parents in the first panel at the prospect of a Loopina-free evening are only matched by the wave of obscenity-tinged bile we get in the second. It seems that her parents don’t really like her very much, though that should have been obvious from the mere fact that they named her “Loopina.”

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 8, 2007 at 01:29 pm and is filed under Family Circus, Phantom, Pluggers, They'll Do It Every Time.

365 responses to “Little big man”

Beehoppy
March 8th, 2007 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

I think that’s one of Grampa’s old shirts
Canard
March 8th, 2007 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

Things must be looking up for our Plugger hero — he hasn’t had to use his hand-held wireless device to make a withdrawal at the Plugger ATM! Now I feel like there’s hope for me too.
Gabe
March 8th, 2007 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

I’ll say it again: Loopina looks like an incredibly old midget in drag.

Thirst!
The Ray
March 8th, 2007 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

Have they run out of “Plugger ATM” jokes or something?
Irion
March 8th, 2007 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

So is today’s TDIET about bratty kids or the parents who enable them? It’s not very clear.
MsMolly
March 8th, 2007 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

I’m pretty sure that the second panel of TDIET features Pa’s underpants hanging off the edge of the night table under the phone. So now I’ve been forced to contemplate the fact that Loopina’s parents must have been trying for a little Looper Jr. Thanks a lot Scaduto!
Dingo
March 8th, 2007 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

I feel mighty sorry for li’l Loopina’s parents. If a night at home with the kid away means still sleeping in those pajamas, a trip to the marriage counselor is needed. Plus, Momma should know to never tuck the cum towel under the phone. It just ain’t fittin’, not fittin’, no sir.
wocket
March 8th, 2007 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

You know, I twisted my ankle something fierce last night and have to walk around today without a brace or cane or anything due to the ineptness of the college health center. I just ate a bagel and got cream cheese in my hair and on my pants. I’m pretty sure I failed the test I took this morning in Stats.

But I’m still smiling. You know why? Because I will never be as much of a loser as Jeffy. :D
Kenny
March 8th, 2007 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

Today’s TDIET really doesn’t say much either way about who’s in the wrong here. I second that Lupina has the appearance of an 85 year-old bassett-hound
Perky Bird
March 8th, 2007 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

“Although my guess is that pluggers listen to a lot fewer hateful rants about how the Jews are undermining the purity of the master race and a lot more hateful rants about how the Cowboys really need to get more free agent help for their offensive line.”
Hey, now, Josh, I do hope you’re not implying that all Cowboys fans are Pluggers! I’m a Cowboys fan, and I’m certainly not a Plugger—my toilet paper gets put on the holder and everything!
Potato
March 8th, 2007 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

My girlfriend was reading the Pluggers over my should. She ask, “You think the only music Pluggers like is Oldies?” To which I replied, “Does a Plugger shit in the woods?”

Ok that really didn’t happen, but man would I be feeling witty had it.
stinky pete
March 8th, 2007 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

The Josh Reads Millenary Moment

Josh Reads post #488, dated December 22nd, 2005, hit a milestone by garnering a whopping 201 responses, several by â€œAnonymous,â€ who continues to occasionally post up to this very day. Faithful reader Anonymous, we salute your dedication and longevity!

This has been your “Josh Reads Millenary Moment.â€ 18 more posts till the millennipost!
philip
March 8th, 2007 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

I used to work for an insurance company. The only redeeming feature of the job was the collection of names I amassed from all of the forms. One of my all-time favorites was a man named Rodney who named his oldest daughter “Rodnikka.”

I can only guess what Loopina’s father’s name is.
anne
March 8th, 2007 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

Rasta man looks like he has one of those raggedy-ann twisted yarn wigs for hair.

Also, who thinks Mozz in panel 3 is gripping his giant member? Yeah I figured it was just me. Mozz, put that away before someone gets what’s “coming” to him!
Shannon
March 8th, 2007 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

“Although my guess is that pluggers listen to a lot fewer hateful rants about how the Jews are undermining the purity of the master race…”

You’re making a pretty big assumption there.
bootsybooks
March 8th, 2007 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

Phantom: Mozz throws an invisible banana peel!
MW: Inappropriate touching!
A3G: The holy kiss of Eric Mills!

All exclamation marks! All the time!
AppleGirl
March 8th, 2007 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

TDIET – Ew, Loopina’s mom has such a gross scene going on next to her bed. #7 Dingo nailed it totally. I can only imagine what Grandma’s house must be like for Loopina to be so terrified at 2am.

Hey, I listen to FM radio in my car! Je suis une Plugger, n’est pas?
Flip Corkin
March 8th, 2007 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

# 8, Wocket, not to be harsh or anything, but you still will be if you keep using those little punctuation faces!
Coffeeclash
March 8th, 2007 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

Old Jungle Saying – “Phantom is everywhere, like invisible banana peel in the path of evil.”
New-Me
March 8th, 2007 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

How about being named Lemonjello
pronounced Le mon g lo
With a twin brother named Orangejello
prononuced O ron g lo!
I am not making this up!
MonkeyHawk
March 8th, 2007 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

Loopina has Mommy’s hair and Daddy’s nose and jowls, answering the question: “Who the hell would [Margo} them?!

Still, we’re all jumping to conclusions here. We’re supposed to “Guess who?” is calling. I’m betting the spread and guessing it’s Gramma.

The little hellion is certainly pond scum of the gene pool.
Bitter Scribe
March 8th, 2007 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

What gets me about Pluggers is the rapt attention with which the Plugger is regarding the radio. Is he wondering why there aren’t any pictures to go with the sound? Contemplating an attempt to make contact with the little man inside the box? Or does working an AM/FM switch require his utmost concentration?
Pelagius
March 8th, 2007 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

Some suggested alternate captions for today’s FC from the daily FC defiling thread at Fark:

“I know you told me you’d cut off my hands if I kept touching myself, but I didn’t think you were serious.”

“Grandma says I’m hung like a 10 year old.”

“Mommy, I’m not ready for big kid’s clothes. Bill Keane is still drawing me like a ill proportioned infant!”

“Yo, Biatches! Where my fat gold chain with the Benz symbol be at? Don’t make me pull out my strap, you busta ass tricks!”

“These pants are chafing my junk.”
Rhekarid
March 8th, 2007 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

I am opposed to the practice of inflating the already grossly oversized egos of small children with the practice of trying to convince them they’re “big kids.” You see what happens? It turns into a FC strip. In fact, people need to stop having or interacting with children at all. Everyone, stop continuing the human race. You’re just encouraging the Family Circus.
monkey.dave
March 8th, 2007 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

Loopina is named after a comic strip character who is popular among middle-aged dads in the parallel universe where TDIET is set (see 3/5/07), so no wonder she’s so hostile. It would be like somebody today naming their kid “Dilbert” or “Funky” or “”Onion”".
Eau de Plugger
March 8th, 2007 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

FC: Don’t sweat it Jeffy. We’ll see who’s laughing when you pull a gat out from under your big boy shirt.
monkey.dave
March 8th, 2007 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

#2: Loopina looks like a midget Fred Flintstone in drag.
Shannon
March 8th, 2007 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

BB: Sarge is…? Yeah. I’m pretty sure he’s naked.

FOOB: Apparently the “look” these days is tacky bath robes designed for midgets.

FW: Okay, I’ve missed the bulk of the current story line, so who are they burying? I’m surprised, as I thought the Winkerverse had become too cruel to let anyone escape it through death.

JP: That’s what she said last night?! Jesus Christ! Pick up the pace a little bit! If this strip were real time, the gals would be French citizens by now!

MW: “May have played a roll in his death?” Just like how the US was “involved in” Vietnam?
B
March 8th, 2007 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

Ha ha ha # 13! I work for an insurance company too. My favorite so far has got to be the lady who named her daughter “Adonis.” Her daughter!!!
andreavis
March 8th, 2007 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

The feminization of young Jeffey continues– that’s not a big shirt, it’s a darling minidress! A dress with pants is a fashion faux pas, though; better change into some fishnets and stillettos, Jeffey, or the Fug Girls will snark you into oblivion.
Dave
March 8th, 2007 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

TDIET – “So old Arfo finally convinces Migrainia to take the old ‘in-out’ up the Hershey Highway, when … y’know, heh-heh … Oh Yeah – h – h – h!”
Flealick
March 8th, 2007 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

The Plugger radio diet got me feeling sorry for those dwelling in Pluggerdom, seeing as Oldies stations seem to be a dying breed. Here in San Diego, we no longer have an Oldies station. But maybe that’s just the case for us costal-dwelling elites.

And is the Phantom now cribbing from Spiderman’s villain-trips-over-his-own-camera storyline? An arch-villain being done in by a trip-and-fall hazard outside the bank strikes me as pretty lame (even if it is cool to watch, with the eyes rolling in the back of the head and all). Maybe it would work if the Phantom’s nemesis was a gang of octogenarian bank robbers sporting medic-alert bracelets, but I generally expect my comic strip criminals to be fully bipedal and capable of negotiating slight changes of elevation, barring a reasonable explanation to the contrary (though I’m not prepared to actually read the Phanton to recieve that explanation).
Shannon
March 8th, 2007 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

#31: Gorramit, Dave! I can’t be laughing out loud at work!
saint ruby
March 8th, 2007 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

I think a more convincing indicator of Grandma’s agenda is the fact that she’s giving her grandson a shirt that is guaranteed to get his ass kicked.
anne
March 8th, 2007 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

31 dave — that almost sent coffee flying all over my keyboard. o-h-h-h-h y-y-yeah-h-h!

the horrifying thing is, I see the cartoon in my mind’s eye, clear as if Al himself had drawn it. Catastra is just rolling her eyes.
Shannon
March 8th, 2007 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

#32: “Maybe it would work if the Phantomâ€™s nemesis was a gang of octogenarian bank robbers sporting medic-alert bracelets, but I generally expect my comic strip criminals to be fully bipedal and capable of negotiating slight changes of elevation, barring a reasonable explanation to the contrary…”

Maybe that’s actually ED-209 in a Kono-suit.
ugh
March 8th, 2007 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

what is even the point of pluggers? do poor rednecks find their crappy lives broadcast to a national audience comforting or hilarious somehow?

“hahahah hey yeah, we ARE poor and dumb!”
Oracle Steven
March 8th, 2007 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

I’m really not clear on this whole Plugger thing. I even went to their website to clear it up. They define Pluggers as, “the hard-working people the world depends on.” What in the world does that have to do with that archaic radio (I suppose a Plugger might call it a transistor or wireless), or the toilet paper the other day? Apparently, from the different Plugger defects I’ve seen, they are less hard-working and more, I don’t know… ‘backwards’ I guess. Actually, the fact that the Pluggers can’t figure out how to keep within 20 years of current technological trends strongly indicates that they are either stupid or lazy. I suppose you could argue that they are so hard working they don’t have time to keep up with trends, but is a solid-state radio really that trendy? What about hanging the toilet paper on the hanger? That seems like something a hard-worker would do. It just doesn’t make any sense! NONE!

I’d like to close by pointing out the obvious: TDIET shouldn’t be a comic; it should be one of those tiny-print, unfunny jokes at the end of a story in Reader’s Digest where the useless drawings would be eliminated.
Sir Dick Pump-a-Loaf
March 8th, 2007 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

C*m towel? Who have y’all been boffin – Martha Stewart or Felix Unger?
Ham Gravy
March 8th, 2007 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

Pluggers have FM? Well, I must say I am surprised to hear that!
SmartPeopleOnIce
March 8th, 2007 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

#2 (Canard) By “hand-held wireless device” I assume you mean “9 mm”.
Shannon
March 8th, 2007 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

“A Plugger’s sex-life is limited to getting royally screwed through offshoring.”
bunx
March 8th, 2007 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

It’s true, Jeffy has been that size for decades. It begs the question: Is Jeffy the Zodiac killer?
zeeba
March 8th, 2007 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

3/8
JP:
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070308&name=Judge_Parker

“She hasn’t told anyone, Ned.” Then WHY ARE YOU BLABBING, ABBEY???? Maybe Rachel doesn’t want the whole world to know about her cancer, and most particularly not the sweet young thing that’s gonna inherit everything. Notice the closeup of Abbey’s shifty eyes in the last panel. She’s got a plan up her sleeve or she’s high again.

FW:
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070308&name=Funky_Winkerbean

Can someone tell me what the weather is doing in this strip today? (and yesterday, too, I think). Are those slanty straight lines rain falling, or wind blowing? Usually wind blowing is like puffy, curly lines, right? Aren’t straight lines more indicative of rain or maybe sleet? So these losers are working in the yard burying who knows what and carrying on their sarcastic, pun filled little conversation, while they’re getting soaking wet?
Dernelvoy
March 8th, 2007 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

Ya know, I’m seeing something in these latest Plugger submittals. The “Texas Trend”, in which this formerly great state (pre-1998 or so) bucks Kansas for most hopelessly out of it? First the Flat-Earthers get Texas Congressional props; then the whole state forgets how to operate a radio and install toilet paper. I was born there and I tell you, I don’t like it.
Derelict
March 8th, 2007 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

I guess next we’ll be seeing a Pluggers where they chase a photographer down the street for stealing their souls with his magic box. “Pluggers have a different idea of what a moving picture is.”

Hey, maybe I’ll submit that!
Quacks Like A Duck
March 8th, 2007 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

Dennis the Menace and Jeffy’s dialogue are increasingly similar.

It’s a sad, sad day for both comics.
Deborah
March 8th, 2007 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

So, are Kono’s eyes really rolling back in his head? I thought he was looking behind him with hostility, like “What’s that FRICKIN WALL doing behind me?”

But I’m probably wrong.
teh l4m3
March 8th, 2007 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

I can’t say I have no sympathy for little Loopina’s parents, as raising a disabled child can really test one — especially when dealing with a condition as debilitating and traumatic as progeria.
Uncle Lumpy
March 8th, 2007 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

Here’s a line of Plugger auto accessories. And here’s a jerk trying to get them banned.
Old Fogeyette
March 8th, 2007 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

Oh, Margo Boxcar. I prepared a bunch of comments in response to comments on the last thread only to discover that it had expired while I was at the vet. Well, Saturn it, I’m going to post them here, on the wrong thread. But without the referent numbers.

gh: Well, but do you stop and ask directions when you are lost? Do you surf through the tv channels to find out what else is on instead of sensibly looking at the tv guide that is right there by your elbow?

Foobar: nicely done!

Bootsybooks, thanks. I refuse to believe I’m old too, but the mirror don’t lie. (And my mama don’t rock and roll.) About men, well, there are a lot of strange things that get stuck on the Y chromosome. I’m very glad I don’t have one.
Y chromosome, that is. I do have a man. And quite an excellent one.

Poteet: Lovely poem. I too hope to get grixed by His Galactness one day. And thanks for asking about Google. He seems stronger each day. The one we’re worried about now is Tasha, who is peeing blood. But she seems to feel okay, plus she has done it before, so it’s not as scary. She’s at the vet getting xrays now.
Shannon
March 8th, 2007 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

#47: More of a sad day for FC. FC could use an infusion of old-school Dennis.

Actually, in today’s strip Dennis seems to be asking to watch porn. That’s pretty cool.
Mr Froth
March 8th, 2007 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

#18, Flipin Cork, :?
Gabe
March 8th, 2007 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

Shannon: As a very young curmudg, I used to get Billy and Dennis confused. I wondered why sometimes he had a big family, sometimes he didn’t appear to have any.

I ate a lot of “wall candy.”
Krazy Kat
March 8th, 2007 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

Stinky Pete
Another excellent observation–you could still yell “First!” back then (obnoxious habit) Ces was the second poster. When the Aldo wake thread went up I remember being amazed when the thread hit 200 entries. Now that’s the first 30 minutes of a Blondie feature

Dingo
Way to cut right to the chase! Put that towel in the hamper, dammit!
Daktari
March 8th, 2007 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

I’m thinkin’ there’s a hole in the stump and a roll of a**wipe on the ground somewhere.
Krazy Kat
March 8th, 2007 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

Jeffy needs to read Wihelm Reich
CBrown
March 8th, 2007 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

The other clue that Lupina’s parents don’t like her is the torrent of vile obscenities that pour out of her father’s mouth when he has to go bring her home.
Widdle Jeffy
March 8th, 2007 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

Grandmama got the sweatshirt big on purpose. She is tired of seeing Jeffy running around in DIAPERS still. I mean the kid is what 6? 7? 5.75? years old and he still craps his pants.

She is hoping that the the shirt will cover over his butt enough so she doesn’t have to see his “Pamper Butt” and maybe some of the smell will stay in there.

On the other hand, he does cover the stench wafting from her depends.
Sir Pump-A-Loaf
March 8th, 2007 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

#50 – Uncle Lumpy
” This lawmaker is looking out for two or three old women in tennis shoes. He’s got too much time on his hands.”

Don’t you think it’s nice that there is someone looking out for Billie Jean King, Chris Evert and Martina Navratilova these days? They certainly don’t want to see balls bigger than theirs swinging around.
Hogen Mogen
March 8th, 2007 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

A3G: A kiss on the cheek? That’s it? And, dressed up with all kinds of radiant beams of excitement, as if Margo and Eric were passionately consumating their relationship in a bout of passion unmatched since Mel Gibson romped on some chick for four hours in “Tequilla Sunrise”. Sorry, to me it was just a peck on the cheek.
Hogen Mogen
March 8th, 2007 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

Phantom: So they kidnap this guy Mozz, but then they let him keep a stick with him. Haven’t they seen Lord of the Rings when Gandalf does his wizard thing on that posessed king? Even without the sorcerer spells and other magical incatations, usually a kidnapper wouldn’t allow his victim to remain unfettered and carry a weapon. Not that I’ve taken a survey of kidnappers treatment of their victims or anything to get exact stats.
Poteet
March 8th, 2007 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

# 51 — Thanks, Fogeyette, and best regards to Google and Tasha. I’m blowing them a grix:-). And I can never really tell when a thread has expired, myself.
Canaduck
March 8th, 2007 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

I’d like to point out that Jeffy’s grandma apparently hates him even if she actually expects him to grow into those clothes. In a hypothetical world where Jeffy actually DOES grow, he’d be about 15 or so by the time he’d be old enough to fit into that huge shirt–that huge shirt which reads “Grandma’s Big Boy”. Clearly Grandma wants her Big Boy to get beat up.

It’s a win-win situation for her regardless of whether he recovers from his apparently permanent shrunken state. Either way he’s humiliated!
Hogen Mogen
March 8th, 2007 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

#52 – Shannon says
“#47: More of a sad day for FC. FC could use an infusion of old-school Dennis.
Actually, in todayâ€™s strip Dennis seems to be asking to watch porn. Thatâ€™s pretty cool.”

Yeah, it’s on the right track, but “old school Dennis” would have said something about having already watched some adult fare movies when the Mitchell parents weren’t paying attention. Asking? What good is that? Like his mom & dad are going to think about it and say “Ok!”
Zikar
March 8th, 2007 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

MW – Die, Mary, and you too, Ella. You brought up my hopes, and then dashed them upon the cruel rocks of the paltitude filled un-reality you both live in.

By Aldo’s boozy ghost, I WILL HAVE SATISFACTION!!!
Trotzenbonnie
March 8th, 2007 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

Ye – e- a – a- ah!!!!!
Excuse me while I kiss the sky!
It’s time for a conga line.
On May 28 and May 31, “They’ll Do It Every Time” will be brought to you by yours truly!!!! From this day forward my husband will be known as Dragbutt and I will be changing my name to LuLula!
Mr. Scaduto sketched an incredible likeness of me, including my redundant vestigial mammary glands and he artfully captured the essence of my husband’s botched butt transplant that relocated his rectal cheeks to a spot six inches below his man boobies.
Last month I sent three “gags” to Al but he only liked two. Unfortunately, the reject was an homage to one of the Curmudgeon tangents – the shoes in the house debate. I guess the concept was a bit too contemporary for the strip.
I wish to share this honor with each and every one of you in Curmudgeonland. Your inspirational snarkiness was the impetus for my submission and I thank you all!
BTW – the 5/28 entry is anonymous. I didn’t want my sister to get pissed at me and boy, would she!
Perky Bird
March 8th, 2007 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

Hogen Mogen–
Re: A3G–At least the strip isn’t drawn by Scaduto. Then those “radiant beams of excitement” would be carrying a label that said “flop sweat”.
Cornwhacker
March 8th, 2007 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

FC: While Bob’s, Frisch’s, and Elias Bros. have banks and comic books for the kids to take home, less successful franchisee Grandma’s Big Boy only offers uninspired blue sweatshirts. In One-Size-Fits-Not-Jeffy.
Justafoob
March 8th, 2007 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

Jeffy over in the FC really wants a “winter coat” like Apewill’s instead of his big boy shirt.
hilker
March 8th, 2007 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

In the 3/5 TDIET, Dimwiddy is apparently reading today’s TDIET.
B
March 8th, 2007 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

44: Earlier they were “cleaning out the gutters” and now they’re “laying some pipe.” Clearly for this kind of activity the two needed to be alone, and outside in the rain is the only way they can escape their families.
Gabe
March 8th, 2007 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

Congrats, Trotzie.
Flip Corkin
March 8th, 2007 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

# 53, It’s a Terry and the Pirates homage. You youngsters need to get hip to the good stuff. Right, Poteet?
Gabe
March 8th, 2007 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

59: PJ is 18 months Jeffy is THREE, Dolly is five, Billy is 7.
rich
March 8th, 2007 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

“Mary, you’re not at all responsible for the death of that self-destructive Aldo … the only thing to blame for his death was bad writing.”
Krazy Kat
March 8th, 2007 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

FC-
Did grandma send Jeffy those trousers as well?
That last stroke really did a number on her I guess.
Shannon
March 8th, 2007 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

#76: COTW!
Non-Shannon
March 8th, 2007 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

Something about Loopina’s dad’s expression in the top panel reminds me of Tom Hulce in Amadeus. Not that that has anything to do with anything–I just like being reminded of Tom Hulce in Amadeus.
Poteet
March 8th, 2007 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

# 74 — Flip Corkin, I agree re the homage. However, I’m slightly traumatized by what seems to be an implication that little punctuation faces are used by losers. Because if true, that would mean I’m Jeffy, and I was already trying to wrap my mind around the realization, per the toilet paper roll discussion, that I’m a Plugger. A Plugger Jeffy. Definitely it will take some chocolate to get through this.
commodorejohn
March 8th, 2007 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

B.C. – It’s like the old literate, funny Jonny Hart is trapped in his own body, desperately trying to break free from the control of the new unfunny, incomprehensible Jonny Hart and this strip is a day-to-day graph of just who is in charge and by how much.

DTM – Oh man, I can’t believe this wasn’t featured today. As has already been pointed out, Dennis is clearly asking to watch porn, and the visuals are just too perfect – Dennis is pointing at an entry in the TV guide and slyly winking at his dad, who’s frowning at him, clearly not wanting his cover blown. Meanwhile, Mom is giving The Look to Dad, obviously planning to find out just what he’s been watching once Dennis is in bed. Looks Dennis is finally getting back on track in the “menacing” field.

FW – I saw this strip having missed the previous couple of days and I immediately thought, “oh no, a kid died and they’re digging his/her grave while mourning for even the less pleasant aspects of parenthood now gone forever.” I think that says something about this strip. Also, is it ever not raining/windy/fall or winter in Winkerville?

JP – Neddy is either singing her heart out or practicing shot-put. I’m not sure which.

RMMD – I’m torn between thinking, “hey, awesome, they’re going to try and get Nikki to stay with them – more Rex-is-uncomfortable-while-Nikki-invades-the-household antics are on the way!” and thinking, “man, June sure thinks everything revolves around her!” Seriously, does she have any idea how long and convoluted the (hopefully) adoption process is? (Of course not; she’s just expecting everybody to kowtow to her whims and say, “hell, here, you can have him, law and procedure be damned.”
Jeff
March 8th, 2007 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

I know this is off topic, but I just love this drawing!
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070221&name=Slylock
cheech wizard
March 8th, 2007 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

Trotzenbonnie – congrats on your TDIET double whammy – that’s very impressive.

Nice to see an old neighbor again after all these years, btw. So what ever became of your friend Pepsi? I always figured she’d either end up in jail or running a major corporation – which was it?
Proteus
March 8th, 2007 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

Did anyone else notice how ellipsis-rich Scaduto is? Ten of â€˜em in two panels. And six that consist of just two periods instead of three. WTF. Or is criticizing Scadutoâ€™s punctuation like finding fault with Hannible Lecter for bad table manners? TDIEfreakingT.

PS as far as hateful rants on the radio goes, I think we give Nazi Germany a good run for the money.
Non-Shannon
March 8th, 2007 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

And I know I’m too late for the “which male comic strip characters would you get ur freek on with” thread, but mine are:
5) Zippy from Zippy the Pinhead (Yeah? So what?!)
4) Ted from Sally Forth (Oh, those dainty hands…)
3) Rob from Get Fuzzy (Mmm…disheveled…)
2) Brian Enjo from FOOB (a very peripheral character–find him here.)
1) Clango from Diesel Sweeties

I don’t know about anyone else, but the idea of human-robot lovin’ has been my cup of tea ever since my childhood crush on Data from Star Trek. Y’all can have your “hunky” Mark Trails and Sam Drivers…I’ll take the wimps and anthropomorphized machinery, thankyouverymuch!
Luna
March 8th, 2007 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

FOOB 3/8: Are Apwil and Elly shopping at Bobby Trendy’s?
Chupper
March 8th, 2007 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

Today’s Family Circus is much more entertaining is you assume that grandma bought him a correctly sized shirt, but Jeffy’s been shrinking due to severe malnutrition. Ma & Pa Keane are sick of the whining little butthead and stopped feeding him. New caption: “I haven’t eaten in five weeks…”

Look into Jeffy’s sad, desperate eyes and tell me its not true.
Liz
March 8th, 2007 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

FBoFW: April’s slutty choice in outerwear seems counterproductive to me, since she also chose to wear high-waisted khakis. She should hightail it to the low-rise jeans, because nothing screams sexy like a cropped coat that can’t hide your muffin-top.
Galactic Emperor Chennux
March 8th, 2007 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

…SO CHENNUX COULD FEEL HER CLORXERT ALL PERFUME GRIX AND HIS SKXCRITORT WAS GOING LIKE MAD AND GRIX I SAID GRIX I WILL GRIX. HAHA!

(an exerpt from “His Regal And Terrible Vastness Galactic Emperor Chennux shouts Ulysses to Poteet and most of the state of Iowa”, translated from the original Zyvexian by a million monkeyhawks on a million typewriters)
Chupper
March 8th, 2007 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

#82 Jeff – That Slylock strip is just further proof that Slylock Fox provides bad lessons to children:
1. There’s rotting fruit on the floor and lamp.
2. There are animal bones on the floor and table.
3. They have vermin eating trash in their living room
4. They removed their cat’s left eye.
5. They rented The Blob but clearly were given a movie about a Cyclops, and yet rather than complain to the video store the dude acts like everything is fantastic.
6. They’re teaching kids that it’s OK to eat chocolate cake, ice cream, potato chips, and popcorn all in one sitting.
7. They’re promoting unhealthy body images since none of the fatass kids who wind up eating that shit will be able to be freakishly skinny like the two sickos in this panel. The girl doesn’t even have the strength to overcome her ennui and lift the popcorn all the way to her mouth. Eating disorders and rapidly cycling body weight will ensue.
8. They guy is so hyped up on sugar (and possibly speed and/or meth) that his eyelids have completely resorbed back into his body.
9. He’s drinking a tallboy can of “H” which I can only assume is liquid heroin.
Crankenstank
March 8th, 2007 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

The Phantom: now, does that count as a silent penultimate panel, or does the sound of a skull smacking on concrete qualify as dialogue…?
Bucky Ripsnort
March 8th, 2007 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

TDIET: Dontcha hate it when your little demon-spawn calls home to complain just because of Granma’s “Bad touches”? Hey, it was good enough for Dad, Loopina! O ye e e a a a ahh!
Quacks Like A Duck
March 8th, 2007 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

Scaduto has so many periods in his comics, you wonder if the man has menorrhagia.

Look it up.
Shannon
March 8th, 2007 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

#93: You learn something new every day!
Squawk
March 8th, 2007 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

Phantom: You sure those are dreadlocks? Kono looks more like an English barrister.

TDIET: Loopina = Barney Rubble in a wig and minus the five o’clock shadow.
SmartPeopleOnIce
March 8th, 2007 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

#85 (non-shan) Four words: programmed in multiple techniques

Much like myself, I might add. Um, assuming by “technique” we mean “computer language.” And by “multiple” we mean “one.”
joshreads CC1Kâ„¢ Compliance Director
March 8th, 2007 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

#67 Trotzenbonnie – YE-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-AH!!!!

However, since you have not yet installed your CC1K compliance patch, any attempt to view it on your computer will produce only pain and anguish.

Uh, since CCers are practically TDIET’s staff writers (see: Non-Shannon), does that mean you are snarking on yourselves? As the Compliance Director, I have no sense of irony, but I’m just sayin’…
Alex Blase
March 8th, 2007 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

Is it just me, or has bear Plugger guy lost weight?
AhClem
March 8th, 2007 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

#90 Chupper –
“6. Theyâ€™re teaching kids that itâ€™s OK to eat chocolate cake, ice cream, potato chips, and popcorn all in one sitting.”

You mean it’s NOT?
ohgrl
March 8th, 2007 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

8/wocket & 76/rich: you are both COTW-worthy. Glad I don’t have to make that call.
Trotzenbonnie
March 8th, 2007 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

#83- Cheech
Thanks for the kudos. I haven’t heard from Pepsi since we were test marketing our revolutionary line of talking dildos called “Vagina Dialogues”. Before the release, Eva Ensler came out with that play and, well, she just lost interest. I’m sure she’s out there somewhere making the world safe for gender-neutral nomenclature.

#97- Joshr.
Will your patch work on my PACE TR-48?
Do I snark myself? Hmmmm. I see a Divinyls parody in my future.
Regulus Plgxthropper, Galactic Imperial Revenue Service
March 8th, 2007 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

EARTH-DWELLERS! HEARâ€¦FEARâ€¦And..erâ€¦do something with your SPHINCTER!

Yes, itâ€™s that time again for subjects of the Galactic Empire to render unto Chennux the Empireâ€™s portion of your earnings, puny Earth monkeys. It is my duty to inform you – the newest subject of the Empire – that your Form 1040BLUDSUX must be filed before the midpoint of the fourth Terran lunar cycle in the year of our Overlord 32,658,822.
NO TARDINESS WILL BE TOLERATED
without first filing a Form 444STP along with your first born and a house pet.

New Reporting requirement: Humans must report all sources of â€œenergyâ€ received from 19th Century painters currently manifesting as ectoplasmic beings.

Reporting is also mandatory for all â€œkudosâ€ received for any citizenâ€™s ideas accepted by They Do It Every Time and/or Pluggers.

This collection cycle, you are graciously allowed to deduct from your annual revenue all health related expenses due to entertaining the Emperor or from drawing his wrath and the aim of his magmacannons. YOU MUST PROVIDE RECEIPTS, PUNY CARBON-BASED LIFE FORMS!

File early. File often.

TRANSMISSION TERMINATED.
ohgrl
March 8th, 2007 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

Hogen Mogen (61): The “radiant beams” balance out the “revulsion lines” emanating from Eric earlier this week.
Trotzenbonnie
March 8th, 2007 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

Aw, crap. I can’t understand this damn Form 1040BLUDSUX . I’m not Dr. Bloody Bronowski!
Magnolia
March 8th, 2007 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

I noticed today that the only difference between male and female faces in TDIET is the size of the nose.

All the body shapes are pretty similar too. In fact, if it wasn’t for clothes and hair, I wouldn’t be able to tell them apart at all- every indicator of gender, age, ~~race,~~ and other distinguishing aspects would be gone.

I was going to say something along the lines of “Ha ha ha, I bet they’d all look the same naked” but then my brain instantly died.
King Folderol
March 8th, 2007 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

FC – All that’s missing from this panel is the slow, steady trickle of urine running down Jeffy’s leg, as yet another humiliation leads to yet another wetting incident.
Shannon
March 8th, 2007 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

Getting a submission accepted by TDIET or Pluggers is fine for now, but pretty soon we’ll be fiending for harder stuff.

I challenge you all! Get the same submission printed in both strips simultaneously!
Jeff
March 8th, 2007 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

#90
9 good reasons to love this strip!
Randy S
March 8th, 2007 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

I swear, you guys are all high on something.
(Not that there’s anything wrong with that)
commodorejohn
March 8th, 2007 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

#105 – I never wanted to think about Scadutoites naked. I just can’t picture them looking even remotely similar to humans – I think it’d be something sanity-blasting, like in The Dunwich Horror when the investigators find out that Wilbur is all tentacles and ichor and stuff under his clothes.
The Porridge Bird
March 8th, 2007 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

TDIET: “I’ll drive and get her” what? I’ll drive and get her” McDonald’s? “I’ll drive and get her” a sedative? “I’ll drive and get her” into Aldo’s ditch?
The Porridge Bird
March 8th, 2007 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

102: Regulus Plgxthropper, Galactic Imperial Revenue Service

New Reporting requirement: Humans must report all sources of â€œenergyâ€ received from 19th Century painters currently manifesting as ectoplasmic beings.

Edvard Munch woke me up with his screaming. Does that count?
Dean Booth
March 8th, 2007 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

#7 Dingo and #39 Sir Dick — lol. And a Plugger’s cum towel is a pillow case!
Jack Gladney
March 8th, 2007 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

I just can’t get over how forlorn that poor Plugger looks in today’s panel. Perhaps he has just realized, a moment too late, that he has cut down the last tree in Pluggerland (the one in the background is obviously long dead and only left standing because of wrong-headed nonsense liberal nanny-state laws involving licensing and permits).

It seems his attempt to spite those tree-hugging left-coast latte drinking liberals has blown up in his gin-reddened face. There’s nothing left for him but to catch “Freebird” one last time before Oxygen levels drop too low to support anthropomorphic animal life.
cheech wizard
March 8th, 2007 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

So, what’s with the odd insets, severe closeups, funky angles and melodramatic reaction shots in Judge Parker lately? It’s like Ned and Abbey arrived in Paris and the strip turned into…a French movie.

Oh, gawd. That means it’s not just Rachel – everyone’s going to die. Everybody. In some wry, ironic manner. And then a weeping clown will come dancing in, holding a tiny umbrella while he scatters rose petals over the bodies.

Unless, a la Pibgorn, the current JP story line is an adaptation of Le Roi de Cou (The King of Hearts) and Abbey, Neddy and all the rest are escapees from a lunatic asylum. Yeah, I think that works.
Uncle Lumpy
March 8th, 2007 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

#115 cheech -

How about Abbey as La Reine de Cul?
The Avocado Avenger
March 8th, 2007 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

#13 Phillip – I also used to work in insurance, and the wacky names you’d see really are the highlight of that kind of job. My favorite name was “Kevork”. As a first name.
cheech wizard
March 8th, 2007 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

Lumpy: Hmmm – so would that make Neddy – how do you say – La Princesse de sein?
Squid Countess
March 8th, 2007 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

Congratulations on your upcoming double TDIET appearance, Trotzenbonnie! I’m very impressed.

Has anyone from CC made Pluggers yet? I think Josh has said “no.” I sent in a great suggestion last week, what makes fun of rich folk with they paved driveways. Gravel was always good enough at my house. I had a very Pluggerly childhood and I have tapped ~~that childhood trauma~~ those childhood memories to send in some plugger suggestions. I’m hopeful. We’ll see.
Trotzenbonnie
March 8th, 2007 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

#119 – Squid Countess
Thank you very much. I’m as happy as the day I got a coconut in the Zulu Parade! Happier than a Georgia truck driver!
But the gauntlet has been taken up. The Plugger world will soon be ours!
I have an idea about a plugger key board…..
Shannon
March 8th, 2007 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

You a New Orleanian, Trotzenbonnie?
cinephile
March 8th, 2007 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

I think it’s nice that Mr. Magoo was willing to put on a wig and make a guest appearance as “Loopina” in today’s TDIET.
Proteus
March 8th, 2007 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

You know, even if the new clothes were the right size I’d still feel like a little guy in a sweatshirt that says I’m Grandma’s Big Boy.

But unlike Jeffey I happen to like feeling like a little guy, so there.
Trotzenbonnie
March 8th, 2007 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

#121 – Shannon
My husband and I moved to NOLA 75 days before Katrina. Is that a line from Funky Winkerbean or what?
I fell madly in love with New Orleans years ago and moving there was a dream come true for the two of us. This past Mardi Gras was the best ever and I live for the day when my zip code is 70124 again.
PapaFrita
March 8th, 2007 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

I’ve noticed that the past two TDIETs have featured seniors playing the roles of younger children. Maybe the Scaduto character repitoire works like an old Shakespeare play, where only men could play roles. Or maybe he just can’t draw.
Tweeks_Coffee
March 8th, 2007 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

#119 Yes, one curmudgeoner has gotten a Pluggers entry. I forget who it was, but it was the one about a 7-course meal being in one casserole.
Mibbitmaker
March 8th, 2007 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

#67: Congrats, Trotz! Although….. Your sister’ll be pissed with you? How ’bout your husband (again, #67)? See, this is one reason I’m not trying to get married.

Pluggers: Hey, I like oldies. Don’t Plugger me, Pluggers!

TDIET: Guess who? My guess is a complete stranger. Makes it funnier.
Shannon
March 8th, 2007 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

#124: Damn. 75 days? That sucks. When Katrina came along I was working at the Rue de la Course on Carrollton with the venerable Non-Shannon!
Uncle Lumpy
March 8th, 2007 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

The Pluggers winner was Racing Js for the casserole entry.
Jamus The Bartender
March 8th, 2007 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

FC. I have a feeling Grandma’s Big Boy is gonna get his Grandma’s Big Boy ass kicked on the playground quite a bit, until he’s a senior in high school, leading Grandma’s Big Boy to take a high powered rifle to Grandma’s Big Bell Tower, and shoot bullets at passer’s-by, screaming” I hate you Grandma” and anything else the officer on the scene will have a hard time putting into a report.
Trotzenbonnie
March 8th, 2007 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

#127 – Mib
My husband pissed at me? If there’s anything he’s learned after all these years of living with me it’s how to have a good laugh. The original GeekMeister General, the man is actually making jokes that are really funny these days. Like re-joining the Army at the age of 49. We are the poster children for why people SHOULD get married.
(see #124 We have to have a sense of humor!)
reader-who-posts
March 8th, 2007 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

MW: It’s official, I now hate Elly. She may forgive you, Mary, but the rest of the world knows that you murdered a fine – no, a GREAT man.

Spider-Man: Peter continues to get upset over having his secret identity protected. Next week he’ll beat up a man who helps an old woman cross the street.

Slylock Fox: This is the lowest treehouse ever make.

B.C.: AAAAHHHHH!!!!!! The sun is gone!!!!!!

RMMD: Damn, and June was THAT close to getting a real man in the house.

JP: That’s right Ned, Rachel is dying…now let’s go shopping!
QUILUX INC
March 8th, 2007 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

Galactic tax time? No worries, eh?!

To easily obtain help with form 1040BLUDSUX go to QUILUX.COM.

Have your credit card handy.
Anne
March 8th, 2007 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

non-shannon…? you… you had a crush on data too? I thought I was the only one…
Dingo
March 8th, 2007 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

Trotzenbonnie, I have fond memories of Mulate’s (I believe we discussed that) and Cafe du Monde. The most amazing thing to me was when people spoke of N’Orleans as a dirty city, I thought they meant sin and wickedness. Man, it really is a dirty city!
Heckler123
March 8th, 2007 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

I became a grandma for the first time at the end of November. The two shirts I was willing to get my little granddaughter were both vetoed by my daughter. One said, “Dingo Snack”, and the other said, “They Push on My Soft Spots.”
Dingo
March 8th, 2007 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

Sweet Jebus!!! Where did you see the Dingo Snack shirt? I need to find one in an adult size for the BF.
TeesMyBody.com T-Shirts
March 8th, 2007 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

Lol, little Jeffy! That reminds me of every Christmas I had as a kid.

Bob Hasko
http://www.TeesMyBody.com T-Shirts
Poteet
March 8th, 2007 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

# 67 — Congratulations, LuLula! I look forward to seeing you in all your Scaduto-ized glory!

# 89 — Your Regal and Terrible Vastness, on behalf of most of the state of Iowa, thank you, and we’re blushing.

# 102 — Regulus, sir, surely Galactic Emperor Chennux wouldn’t want to collect revenue from those of us whom His Exaltedness recently listed as having “romantic claims” on him. And besides, a portion of my pitiful earnings wouldn’t even begin to make a tiny dent in the Gigantic Galactic Debt From Hell.

# 119 — Countess, excellent snarky use of the crossout. Someday I really must learn to use that and italics and boldface.
Gg83
March 8th, 2007 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

A3G: While the strip is taking ages to show what’s going on with Margo and the hat man of her heart, Lu Ann’s situation becomes more and more distressing. She’s painted on every canvas in the studio, starting with flowers and fruit, but rapidly moving on to more abstract and moody pieces. Any time she starts to feel worn down or tired, Albert hits her with a dose of energy, which leads to more frenzied brushstrokes and new inspirations flowing faster than her hand can paint. But she has to paint them; she must. He won’t let her not paint them. In her increasingly brief moments of lucidity, she worries about running out of room. She painted the walls first, grand murals of darkening landscapes with a distant, hazy sun. The ceiling followed; she had to stand on chairs to paint each tile. Then the chairs and tables themselves, and next her easel, her microwave (inside and out), and then the floor. He will not let her leave the room, for he knows that he cannot possess her outside of it, and he fears that if he lets her go, she will never return. To paint over what has already been painted would be sacrilege, and so she searches frantically for more places to paint. She curses her recent diet, for the only canvas she can find is her own body, and the thinness of her thighs means that she will run out of space all the faster. She dreads what will happen when there is nowhere left to paint.
Steve S
March 8th, 2007 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

I originally thought Jeffy was saying the outfit made him feel a little gay, which will be accurate if he’s still wearing it once it actually fits him.
Dean Booth
March 8th, 2007 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

Here’s a little something for the hat men among us.
Caged Tygre
March 8th, 2007 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

#13 philip, one of the best first names I came across was Godpower, though it seems like growing up to be anything less than ruler of the world would be a bit of a disappointment.
Heckler123
March 8th, 2007 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

#137, Dingo – I found the Dingo T-shirt at a website called glarkware.com. It was only available in infant sizes. But you could always have one made up at zazzle.com.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 8th, 2007 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

#142, I’m glad to see that Chef Boy-Ar-Dee have their spring line out.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
March 8th, 2007 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

#117 Avocado Avenger — as funny as “Kevork” might sound to Anglophones, it’s actually just the Armenian counterpart of “George”. Just like “Krikor” is their “Gregory”. “Krikorian” and “Kevorkian” are fairly common Armenian surnames.

No, I’m not Armenian. But I have an uncommon first name myself, and perhaps more importantly, I love useless trivia about words and names. So there you go.
Trixie Belden
March 8th, 2007 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

Wow! Congratulations Trotzenbonnie! TWO of your TDIET gags chosen! Very impressive indeed! I wonder if Scaduto realizes how much he owes to this site?
Caged Tygre
March 8th, 2007 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

I don’t know how to feel about the Radiant Margo Love.
Canard
March 8th, 2007 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

I wonder if to Armenians, “George” sounds like some kind of tentacled galactic conqueror with a thing for euthanasia?

My personal favorite, from my days processing home loans: a woman named Sparkle Lumpkin.
commodorejohn
March 8th, 2007 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

Goodness, Margo’s cheekbones are sky-high in that last panel. It looks like two little chestbursters are about to break out of her head.
Poteet
March 8th, 2007 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

# 150 — commodorejohn, as someone who reads A3G primarily to keep track of the ever-changing cheekbone weirdness, I am happy:-).
Foobaphobe
March 8th, 2007 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

Nancy:
Goodness gracious, check out Aunt Fritzi today, guys. This comic strip has crossed that fine line into all-black, dominatrix badness. I wonder if Nancy’s late mother and Fritzi had anything in common. I suspect not, given the chasm between Nancy’s innocent world of ice cream and book reports and Fritzi’s house of latex!
Trotzenbonnie
March 8th, 2007 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

Again, thanks to everyone in the Curmudgeon Community. I dedicate Dragbutt and Lulula to all of you for your superior snarkiness and mirth. Believe me when I tell you, there will be snarks aplenty when this baby hits the papers.

Dingo, N’Awlins has changed since the Big Blow. Now you can smell the food from the restaurants before someone eats it. I loved the old odors that made necessary the daily morning hosings of the Vieux. After living in pretentious New York and lifeless Northern VA, New Orleans was a breath of “fresh” air.
Some Crescent City snark: http://www.nolevee.com/
Non-Shannon
March 8th, 2007 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

*winks at Shannon*

#134 Anne: Yes!!! I thought I was the only one, too!

And Dingo, you would fit riiight in in New Orleans. I can just tell.
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
March 8th, 2007 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

50 Uncle Lumpy: What’s amusing is that “outsized” though the plastic balls might be re human anatomy, in proportion to the trucks and Hummers you usually see them on, they’re positively teensy. Which, well, is probably all too appropriate.

My favorite paragraph from the article you linked to is this one: “A hunter could still throw a freshly killed and uncovered deer in the back of his pickup, though, because the deer’s body parts would be real, Myers said.” Ain’t that America…dripping red gore is okay, but god forbid our younguns get an inkling of even fake plastic bojangles…
Anglo-Saxon Cognates
March 9th, 2007 at 12:16 am [Reply]

Attention everyone in the compound:

If you understand the Dick Tracy panels you were given at the Sentry Gate. At the sentry gate. The medication is working and you are processing correctly. Proceed to the firing range.

That message again:

If you understand the Dick Tracy panels you were given at the Sentry Gate. At the sentry gate. The medication is working and you are processing correctly. Proceed to the firing range.

Our thought for today:

Remember that the enemies we face come not from other worlds, but rather, other realities. The Catcher is in the Rye, and all else is phony.
Anglo-Saxon Cognates
March 9th, 2007 at 12:28 am [Reply]

But y’ARE, Jeffy, y’ARE!

Ha ha!

You ARE a little man. A little, little man. And you always will be.

IF you grow up, your nickname will be “Ziggy.”

You’ll be the only character not invited to Liz and Anthony’s wedding.

Even your parrot will disrespect you, and you’re just going to take it.
Goose Overhead
March 9th, 2007 at 1:15 am [Reply]

Whoever posted about phony cops I think is right.

Who says he’s the good guy??

June’s absolutey right. If he CAN’T GET ANYONE ELSE ON THE PHONE, Rex should go for Troy’s commemorative WWII Mauser.
mumbles
March 9th, 2007 at 1:27 am [Reply]

RMMD: Either these are fake cops, or Abbey is a racist dog, like Larry’s dog in “Curb Your Enthusiasm”, or that cinematic masterpiece with Kristy McNicol, “White Dog”: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084899/
Trilobite
March 9th, 2007 at 1:53 am [Reply]

3/9:

Mary Worth is so fuckin’ pleased with herself in that last panel that I’m positive her head is going to swell far beyond the ability of that cast-iron white helmet-hair to contain it. Beatific smile firmly fixed on her insufferably smug face, while pulsing Margo-waves of radiant purple light bounce around the entire apartment complex. Passersby will stop and stare, and then delicately turn their heads to vomit in the gutter from the sheer GALL of that woman.

And that’s some unfortunate phrasing in Rex Morgan. “I know, Niki…but a judge felt you…” Apparently Niki was molested by a judge! No wonder he’s so skilled at cleaning June’s garage.
Mibbitmaker
March 9th, 2007 at 2:00 am [Reply]

3/9:

MW: Sure, Ella, fill her oversized ego so you can convince her more easily! And, second panel… Uh, hell-LO-O! That phony “intervention”?? The cruel thing that drove (literally) that dork to drink??? The very reason Mary needs to feel crushing guilt???? Earth to Ella! Earth to Mary! (Sorry I had to go shopworn cliche on you, ladies… I had no choice.)

FOOB: You want to be respected for the decisions you make to be treated like an adult, eh, April? Let’s just ask two prominent adults named Bill Clinton and George W. Bush about that one! (To be fair, those adults are a tad more like an adolescent and a child, respectively…)

FC: The Keanes are Pluggers!

S-M: Uh, the only person who admires Flattop Hitler is Flattop Hitler… and that’s no secret!

Shoe: The “novel inside you“??? Huh?! ….. To be fair, I’d imagine if the Perfessor swallowed Mike Patterson’s book, it could cause acid reflux… and projectile vomitting.

A3G: Oh, don’t tell me the ghost of a dead chef is involved! Hey, maybe it’ll be Julia Child, and she’ll trick them into reenacting the 1978 SNL “French Chef” sketch.

Adam: Uh, duuuuh…. I, uuh, dunno why my, uuh, neck is attachted tuh my head AN’ muhyyy feet…Uh-DUUUHH…. Wha’??? THAT’s my head??? I thought it was uh shoe, yuh-yuh, yuh-yuh!! On accounta, I’m a maaaale!

PC: Paris Hilton? Are you kidding, Stantis? Paris Hilton is the Nexus of All That’s Wrong with the Universe! Britney goes bottomless (the first step on her loopy road), and who’s there? Paris Hilton. Lynsay Lohan gets into her umpteenth accident, who’s she with? Yoo-no-hoo! (Actually, I’ve been dying to use that “Nexus of…” line somewhere in public! My satire will not be denied!)

MT: ………………WILL YOU GETONWITHIT ALREADY, NORTON?!!!!![/Ralph Kramden]

RMMD: I trust Abbey’s intuition here, so YAY!… although there’s something about a dog snarling at a black man that’s a bit unsettling (historically, that is)…
Edward
March 9th, 2007 at 2:14 am [Reply]

Why do all TDIET characters look like 40 year old men? Even the women…hell, especially the women? Also, why does only Scadutto get the time machine that lets him remain in the late ’50s for ever and ever?
Edward
March 9th, 2007 at 2:18 am [Reply]

Also, today’s TDIET takes on the controversial (and overlooked) subject of Modern Art, and spoecifically the little known fact that it doesn’t always go for Realism. What’s next? A stinging rebuke of the Dreyfus Affair? A polemic against the Irish in politics?
Mr. Oâ€™Malley
March 9th, 2007 at 2:56 am [Reply]

RMMD: Yes, it looks as though Abbey has figured out that real cops don’t wear uniforms resembling the TV repairmen in TDIET. For those people uncomfortable with the racial aspect, don’t forget that the other phony cop, who is at this moment hacking Elvis into tiny pieces out in the shrubbery, is white. And don’t forget also that June has already called the real police.

TDIET: Scaduto thought up his own joke today. Those wacky early 20th-century artists!

FC: It’s a good thing Bil shrunk his kids down to 1/3 scale, or they’d never have fitted in that wheelbarrow. But in all those pictures of little Billy’s dotted path over the suburban neighborhood, it was never made clear until now that the Keane’s house is on a 10 acre lot.

MW: I’m not a meddler, I’m proactive! Then in panel 2 the drugs start to kick in again.

Pluggers: I hope that’s not a chicken pie!

FOOB: This joke totally backfired. Supposedly April is being contradictory by not deciding what to eat. But Elly didn’t ask her “what do you want to eat?” She restricted the terms of the discussion down to a narrow set of two options. Perhaps April might like to try one of the Greek, Thai or Indian restaurants they must have driven by on the way to the mall, but she’s not allowed to say that. So April’s refusal to give in to Elly’s controlling is actually completely consistent with her thoughts in the first two panels. I don’t think LJ realizes how creepy this joke really is.

Squid sightings: Brewster Rockit, Lio
MonkeyHawk
March 9th, 2007 at 3:16 am [Reply]

Today’s TDIET, a Picasso joke?

Picasso died in 1973 and moved away from realistic painting around 1910.

Ragging on Al’s Caduto for being behind the times is passe in itself. But here are the suggestions I’ve sent that will guarantee I, too become a contributor.

“Lardbutt was all excited about being the first on his block with the brand new car … ’til it turns out his new Edsel is LEMON!!!”

Or…

“Castrata’s so pround her new little car gets so many miles per gallon… until she’s cooked to cinders when her Pinto gets rear-ended!”

Or…

“Little Filbert thrills his parents with his musical talent… untill he joins one of those mop-top ‘Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!” bands! Oh… (well, I guess I said
“yeah” already).”

And when my ideas run in the papers, I’m gonn celebrate at one of those fancy squid restaraunts with the crisp linen tablecloths, waiters in white vests, and ketchup on the table.
Dingo
March 9th, 2007 at 3:37 am [Reply]

Someone please explain today’s Rex Morgan, Master Deviant. I thought that Niki was being saved from Elvis. Then he was being saved from the clutches of June Morgan’s heaving breasts. Now, it seems, it was some judge. Judge Parker? Who is the judge who felt up darlin’ Niki? And why is Abbey so reviled by ephebophiliac commentary?
Joshtradamus predicts
March 9th, 2007 at 4:02 am [Reply]

In the the new millenium year of CC1K101! The U.S. will go to war with its neighbors to the north. Lynn Johnstonâ€™s loyalties will be torn between her motherland and her readership. John Patterson will volunteer for the Canadian Rail Mounties, then placed in a training camp. Michael will be sent south to enlist in the U.S. forces to cover bets. Elizabeth is left to tend the failing Granthany estate and Elly will roll bandages and pack gaping, pustuliac wounds on the homefront. April will suit up as a suicide bomber for freedom and head off to the Seattle Space Needle; only to get wrong directions and end up turning tricks for the U.S. military stationed in Detroit.
Shannon
March 9th, 2007 at 4:06 am [Reply]

#153: Ha! Good timing. My mother just mailed me the most recent issue of the Levee!

#159: White Dog is absolutely brilliant. Sam Fuller is a genius. It’s still out of print, too. Dammit!
kippetje2000
March 9th, 2007 at 4:38 am [Reply]

Â·April: Birth control pills or IUD? â€œI dunnoâ€
Â·Thereâ€™s no credit to todayâ€™s TDIET. I guess weâ€™re â€˜meeting the artistâ€ and heâ€™s not much funnier than his contributors.
Â·Ted Forthâ€™s grown a pair. A pair of man breasts.
Â·Blow me down. Bil Keaneâ€™s a scadutoing plugger too!
Dingo
March 9th, 2007 at 4:51 am [Reply]

Damn you, kippetje2000. You actually made me consciously look up a Family Circuits strip. What’s up with that tree in the background? It’s either two very thin Alvin Ailey dancers paying homage to the victims of Hurricane Katrina or the saddest specimen of tree outside of A Charlie Brown Christmas.
kippetje2000
March 9th, 2007 at 4:59 am [Reply]

And damn you too, Dongo # 170. For making me revisit Freak Circus twice in a 24 hr. period. I do believe, if you look again;) with your Slylock glasses on you’ll see that Mrs. Keane is the guilty one. In her personal hell she’s been lashing out at the shrubbery and has now resorted to poisoning the plants.
Draktyr
March 9th, 2007 at 5:38 am [Reply]

RMMD – Why is Niki’s ear blue?

And listen up, copper. Abbey said Niki is stayin’, and stayin is just what he’s gonna do, judge, or no judge. You don’t mess with Abbey the Wonderdog
The Avocado Avenger
March 9th, 2007 at 5:39 am [Reply]

#146 Skullturf Q Beavispants – You are as informative as you are sexy. I have an “odd” last name, myself. The reason I thought “Kevork” was funny at the time was because it had been used as a sound effect in a comic years ago, IIRC. It’s been so long ago my memory is hazy.

MW – I’m aghast. I admit it, these professional meddling biddies have astonished me more than the Family Circus slash fic a “thoughtful” friend forwarded to me recently. Ella’s essentially telling Mary that Dr Jeff was worth saving, Aldo was not, and that her attempt to save him would never have worked because Aldo was just gonna off himself in some hysterically awesome way no matter what she did. As the great Col. Potter would say: Bullhockey. No one is fooled, Karen Moy. We know this little exculpatory interlude with Ella is directed to us, and we’re not buying it. Mary is responsible! She should feel remorse! Maybe do a little community service! REVENGE FOR ALDO!
Pinback65
March 9th, 2007 at 6:23 am [Reply]

Today’s Slylock Fox appears to be taking place in a cafe catering to mugwumps. Cool! I assume Dr. Benway’s abortion clinic is located in the same general vacinity, and Cassandra Cat is an experiment…um, I mean patient.
Ham Gravy
March 9th, 2007 at 6:49 am [Reply]

MW â€“ And now, Ella, I have some parting advice for YOU. Wash that filthy dishrag that you keep draped over your head all the time. It is stinky and disgusting. I thought you should know the higher truth.

RMMD â€“ Just Wednesday, June was feeling Niki, now we find out a judge felt him too? Just who HASNâ€™T felt Niki yet? Oh and Abbey, you should snap off one of those fingers that the â€œofficerâ€ is holding out there for you. I bet they taste like plump juicy sausages!
bubujin
March 9th, 2007 at 6:54 am [Reply]

MW: I just love how in panel 1 she says, “I’m radioactive by nature.”

Oh, wait, I guess that was “proactive.”

Huh, go figure. With her bright yellow sweater I really thought she WAS bringing her meddlin’ to a whole ‘nother level. Eh, it’s MW. “Radioactive” is still apropos.
Pozzo
March 9th, 2007 at 7:21 am [Reply]

Of course there won’t be hateful rants about the Jews undermining the purity, etc., etc. — the ranters wouldn’t be that obvious.

There will be hateful rants about “liberals” and “international banking interests.” Thank Margo for euphemisms!
Pozzo
March 9th, 2007 at 7:23 am [Reply]

If Grandma wanted to assure that Jeffy grew up needing (even more) psychiatric counseling, she could’ve gotten him a shirt with an arrow pointing down under “Grandma’s Big Boy”.
Tracer Bullet
March 9th, 2007 at 7:23 am [Reply]

I know “Loopina” is supposed to be a little girl, but if you try to tell me that ain’t Mr. Spacely in a wig, I’ll call you the granddaddy of all liars.

A3G: I see a shallow grave in Margo’s immediate future.

MW: Eww, I think Mary just had a meddlegasm.
willethompson
March 9th, 2007 at 7:33 am [Reply]

Dingo and others have commented, but I just cannot turn away from the horror that is RMMD where the cop says “I KNOW, NIKI…BUT A JUDGE FELT YOU…”

Margo. Boxcar. Saturn. To parse this sentence is to open a world of child sexual abuse that would make the Boston diocese blush.

First, the cop admits to having carnal knowledge with Niki, and then tosses out the casual fact that a JUDGE has felt him up (interrobang)! No wonder that Abbey The Wonderdog has her spaniel panties in a wad. And then the cop says he’s the GOOD GUY? As in, ‘at least I wore a condom??’
Ran
March 9th, 2007 at 7:34 am [Reply]

I am beginning to think that the artists of our most discussed comics read our rants and say’uh-huh, wait till you see what I’m putting out tommorrow!’

I wish I was a comics artist (whatever the real title is) so I could torment people daily.
smacky
March 9th, 2007 at 7:48 am [Reply]

I know Crankshaft is supposed to be ha-ha-hamusing, but is it wrong that I’m wishing for the bus to have an Aldoesque crash, or at least a collision resulting in him losing his license? The jackass is muttering to himself, staring in the mirrors, reaching down to pick up a soccer ball, opening the window, and tossing things out of a moving vehicle. How closely could he be watching the road of him? He’s not cantankerous, he’s a sociopath!
smacky
March 9th, 2007 at 7:50 am [Reply]

Um, that should say “…the road ahead of him…”

HTML am hard.
Charles Brubaker
March 9th, 2007 at 7:53 am [Reply]

Hey Josh,

Remember that interview request somebody posted for comic strip collectors?

Well, I offered to do that and it’s been posted:

http://ephemera.typepad.com/ephemera/2007/03/interview_with__1.html
Daktari
March 9th, 2007 at 7:54 am [Reply]

Squid Alert! Todays LIO
Tukla in Iowa
March 9th, 2007 at 7:58 am [Reply]

FW: Okay, I don’t even remember why these two are digging holes out in the rain. Are they burying their latest victim?
Squid Countess
March 9th, 2007 at 8:02 am [Reply]

#146 Avacado Avenger – Your discussion of “different” sounding names to anglo ears reminded me of Mariska Hargitay on Conan O’Brian:
Mariska: I have a brother named Zoltan.
Conan: Oh, you do not!
Mariska: Yes, I do.
Conan: So how goes his plan to take over the world?
Daktari
March 9th, 2007 at 8:04 am [Reply]

More squid can be found at –
BREWSTER ROCKIT: SPACE GUY
Frank Drackman
March 9th, 2007 at 8:57 am [Reply]

JEEZ…Why didn’t Grandma just buy Jeffy a frilly pink dress??
Frank Drackman
March 9th, 2007 at 8:58 am [Reply]

And no self-respecting heterosexual male calls anything an “Outfit”…
Abbey the Wonderdog
March 9th, 2007 at 9:02 am [Reply]

Thank God for

ABBEY THE WONDERDOG!!!!!!

BARK! BARK! BARK!
Daktari
March 9th, 2007 at 9:03 am [Reply]

Does anyone know how to contact this guy Veeblefester? Maybe he would like to join our little group.

http://www.comics.com//comics/bornloser/index.html
TurtleBoy
March 9th, 2007 at 9:21 am [Reply]

MW: “Aldo Kelrast was an evil, evil man. Some might say that alcoholism is a “disease,” and that Aldo was merely ill and needed help. But, Mary, we know better. We know that his affliction was a God-given burden he was made to carry to punish him for the wicked, wicked nature of his dark black soul.”

Pluggers: It might be that dog-Plugger husband’s mouth is watering not over the pie, but rather over the Pluggerphagic prospect of devouring his own chicken-Plugger wife.
Dennis Jimenez
March 9th, 2007 at 9:34 am [Reply]

A plugger’s chicken pot pie, is made by a chicken and the only pot in it is in his belly. From pie baking chickens with tub of lard dog husbands all across America.
ltrftp(not so first time)
March 9th, 2007 at 9:47 am [Reply]

27
Monkey Dave – FF was/is not all that tall.

That being said.
You are right. Until you said it, I did not notice it.
HB should sue.
under_score
March 9th, 2007 at 9:47 am [Reply]

Crankshaft: The bus appears half empty. If the bus is still half empty, why hasn’t he stopped? Why does he keep a soccer ball under his seat? Why does he think a mom is as easily distractable as a dog? Why am I still reading? Because I am hoping that for once the mom will catch the bus, and kick some cranky ass. I always rooted for Charlie Brown too.

TDIET: I am embarrassed to say that I LOLd at the name Pablo Pistachio. And then I said it out loud, and made my spouse do it too. Oh Yeahhh.
Calico
March 9th, 2007 at 9:50 am [Reply]

Family Freakfest – A wheelbarrow is a Plugger Big Wheels.

DtM – keep it coming, our boy. Next time bring a drum or boom box with The Rap Music queued up.
Joey needs a prop too, like a megaphone or air horn. + 2 menacing points
We’ll need to install a Sweat-O-MeterÂ® to gauge Mr. W’s physical stress level as well.
juggernaut
March 9th, 2007 at 9:57 am [Reply]

March 9th, 2007, Sally Forth, Panel 3 â€“ indisputable proof that Ted Forth has the GIRLIEST GODDAMN HANDS AND WRISTS OF ANY MAN ON THE PLANET!!!!
Smurglap/Krâ€™lpak/Epstein, Attorneys in Interstellar Law
March 9th, 2007 at 10:00 am [Reply]

Attention, Earthers:

His Imperial Crankiness If He Doesn’t Get His Nap, Galactic Emperor Chennux (insert clenched sphincter here), wishes to inform you that a message posted by Regulus Plgxthropper, Galactic Imperial Revenue Service is in reality a phishing scam.

The galactic economy runs on anti-matter harvesting, taking advantage of favorable loopholes in the Law of Thermodynamics and of course, sale of the spice melange and its many by-products, such as spice paper, spice beer, Spice-A-Roni, Uncle Ben’s Converted From Polonium Spice, Spice ‘n’ Easy protein-based follicle treatment and I Can’t Believe It’s Not Spice spice substitute. And potato salad. Earth money is, in every sense of the word, worthless. And, if the Emperor has His Imperial Way, your comic pages would be Worthless, too.

Kindly disregard any further messages from anyone purporting to be a Galactic tax collector. However, if you want to stack up your entire potato harvest in, say, Iowa, we’ll be glad to take it off your hands.

End transmission is a legally binding sense.

Smurglap
Managing Partner
Smurglap/Krâ€™lpak/Epstein, Attorneys in Interstellar Law
Foobar
March 9th, 2007 at 10:03 am [Reply]

187- I have met a Zoltan, too! I also know twins named Dragan and Draggana, and a girl named Swastika Killaman (not sure about the spelling here).
Jason
March 9th, 2007 at 10:08 am [Reply]

#127

I like oldies too. However the fact that I listen to them on CDs, mp3s, and internet radio, rather than a transistor radio from 1974 counteracts the pluggerdom. You like me just acknowledge that the Beatles are superior to the crap that is out now.

In other words, oldies listened to on current technology = non-Plugger. Oldies listened to really old crappy technology = Plugger

Similiarly a recent Plugger entry celebrated using rabbit ears on your TV. I use rabbit ears on my TV, but that is because I mostly watch DVDs. I just have the rabbit ears in case I need to watch something on local TV, but they aren’t my primary form of entertainment.

I think ultimately it is the disdain for any technology that was invented after 1978 that makes one a Plugger.
Pozzo
March 9th, 2007 at 10:13 am [Reply]

#13, 29: I used to work for a children’s hospital, and one of my duties was to type up the operating schedule for the following day. One day, there was a child on the schedule named “Paisley Starbuck.” This was in the mid-1980’s, so I guess it was possible her parents met at Woodstock.
Calico
March 9th, 2007 at 10:15 am [Reply]

Just had to share this (been meaning to for a while, but in the spirit of Mary Worth let it drag on and on…) – a few miles from my home is a shopping complex with big box and medium size stores – one of them is called Aldo. No kidding.
The full name is Aldo Exposition, I think. Also believe they are going out of business. How weirdly apropos.
Mary looks all euphoric and omnipotent in panel one except for one thing-her crossed arms.
If body language is indicative of feelings, perhaps either 1. Moy & Giella didn’t pay attention and just drew her that way for no apparent reason or 2. It was quite deliberate, and all’s still not right in Mary’s Meddling head.
Or maybe she just has the shakes and is cold because the Asian smack is wearing off.
Josh
March 9th, 2007 at 10:21 am [Reply]

Since we’re sharing bizarro name stories: One my temp jobs that I took to earn a little extra cash when I was in grad school was putting thousands of old wills (like, really old — some of them more than 80 years old) in a bank vault in alphabetical order. There were some classic names in there, but my favorite was “Stella Patella.” It was her married name. Stella must have really liked Bob Patella right away, because you’d think that she’d do the rhyming math on the first date and flee in panic.

Josh
gh
March 9th, 2007 at 10:27 am [Reply]

#139 Poteet

Someone here sent me this awhile back. It’s easier than I thought!

http://www.pageresource.com/html/textags.htm
gh
March 9th, 2007 at 10:33 am [Reply]

FC: My guess is that the Keanes [this one is signed by Jeff and Bil] actually submitted this to Pluggers and were rejected, so they said â€œScrew it; itâ€™s funny! Letâ€™s just do it ourselves.â€ As you can see, Pluggers was right.
Hogen Mogen
March 9th, 2007 at 10:40 am [Reply]

TDIET: That’s a pretty smug looking Pablo Pistachio artist guy. Not one person is talking to him or acknowledging his presence in any manner. Not even the bored looking kid, who is wondering if Pablo’s older brother Billy put that cheezy moustache on him with a magic marker.
Hogen Mogen
March 9th, 2007 at 10:41 am [Reply]

Has no one commented that the pig-nosed Jeffy in FC has only one nostril in the comic above?
New-Me
March 9th, 2007 at 10:45 am [Reply]

Thanks gh for the HTML tags!
gh
March 9th, 2007 at 10:55 am [Reply]

#209 New-Me

~~Your~~ You’re welcome!
Non-Shannon
March 9th, 2007 at 11:03 am [Reply]

170 Dingo: God, Dingo, you SLAY me! Good thing no one else is in the lab right now or they’d be wondering what’s so funny ’bout running a mass spectrometer.

What’s so funny ’bout ruuuuning a maaaaaass spectroooometer?
Oooo-oooh,
what’s so funny ’bout ruuuuuning a maaaasss spectrooometer?*

*a la Bill Murray in Lost in Translation
Marc
March 9th, 2007 at 11:14 am [Reply]

TDIET: Little Loopina looks like an angry 50 years old 3 foot tall man…
No wonder “her parents” seem happy to get the angry cross-dressing midget* out of the house for an evening!

Maybe “she’s” not her alledged parents’ kin but a relative of theirs who has no job and no place to live…

*no offence to midgets or cross dressers here.
gh
March 9th, 2007 at 11:17 am [Reply]

MT: When the diver told Mark Trail â€œthe water is very deep and itâ€™s full of logs and debrisâ€ I thought he was describing a basketball game in Gil Thorp.
commodorejohn
March 9th, 2007 at 11:20 am [Reply]

#201 – hey, Beatles fans, unite!

FOOB – “Stay at home with us, April. You don’t know what to decide? I’ll make all your decisions for you, dear…forever and ever…“
MossMoses
March 9th, 2007 at 11:21 am [Reply]

Kono, you dumbshit! Anyone knows you can’t move after you’ve broken your neck and suffered a severe spinal injury. What a dumbass! Geez, good help is hard to find nowadays!
bootsybooks
March 9th, 2007 at 11:23 am [Reply]

#124, Trotzie, and the Shannons (both non- and non-non) Also check out nolaFugees.com for some good local irony.

Trotz, congrats on the TDIET wins! Mr. Boots, our Bouvier, and I are back in the 70122, chilly Gentilly, and I hope you’re back in the 70124 soon.
willethompson
March 9th, 2007 at 11:25 am [Reply]

gh and New-Me – StoP thAt rigHT now beFoRE yOu ~~margo up~~ BrEAk thE InternET!â„¢Â£Â©Ã©
MR. QUIXLIRRX LOMBATA BUKKAKE
March 9th, 2007 at 11:31 am [Reply]

GOOD DAY TO YOU SIR OR MADAM!!!

I AM MR. QUIXLIRRX LOMBATA BUKKAKE, EXECUTOR OF THE ESTATE OF THE ESTEEMED LORD ENNIEMEENIEMINNIEMOE, RECENTLY EXECUTED BY THE GOVERNMENT OF GALACTIC OVERLORD AND EMPEROR CHENNUX FOR CRIMES AGAINST THE STATE. I WRITE TO YOU IN MOST EXTREME CONFIDENCE AS MY RESEARCH HAS FOUND YOU TO BE ONE OF GREAT INTEGRITY, TRUSTWORTHINESS AND SPNDFLXDITORIA! I AM ENTRUSTED WITH THE ESTATE OF THE LATE CHANCELLOR, WHICH INCLUDES THE SUM OF 23 BADILLION ZYZOGLFORTY, EMBEZZLED OUT FROM UNDER THE EMPEROR’S REPTILLIAN SNOUT WHILE HE WAS ENGAGED IN A SAMPLE AND HOLD PROCEDURE WITH UNSANITARY EARTH WOMAN DREDGED IN MRS. BUTTERWORTH! I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE IN TRANSFERRING SAID FUNDS SAFELY OUT OF THE GALACTIC CENTER AND INTO A SECRET NUMBERED BETELGEUSE BANK ACCOUNT. FOR YOUR TROUBLES I WILL PAY YOU $43 MILLION OF YOUR EARTH DOLLARS; TO CONFIRM PARTICIPATION, PLEASE SEND VISA OR MASTER CARD # WITH SECURITY CODE.

A MOST GRACIOUS GOOD DAY AND MAY ZOGARD BLESS YOU!

QUIXLIRRX LOMBATA BUKKAKE, ESQ.
INTERGALACTIC ATTORNEY-AT-LARGE
Groddeck
March 9th, 2007 at 11:34 am [Reply]

213 – I was hoping Mark would respond with, “The water is deep? If only we had some kind of equipment that allowed people to spend time under water without having to surface to breathe! Say some kind of metallic cyclinder that could be strapped to a back and then connected to a person’s mouth through a hose that would deliver life-sustaining oxygen while the person is under the water, maybe even close to the bottom of a lake. Oh well, I guess Dan is a goner. A cruel world indeed.”
Anonymous
March 9th, 2007 at 11:37 am [Reply]

its as if somebody, in an effort to halt any thoughts of selfabuse at the funny pages (who can resist a Bumstead family sandwich?), rounded up the most unsexy charachter they could muster and made Mary Worth.
stinky pete
March 9th, 2007 at 11:38 am [Reply]

Scaduto’s next targets will include country singer Johnny Cashew (”20 years of classical guitar training, and wh-a-a-a-a?”) and the Spanish film director Pedro Almondovar (”4 years of film school and he’s making Volvo commercials?”).
Non-Shannon
March 9th, 2007 at 11:38 am [Reply]

OBH:
For some reason, I love today’s strip. Ruthie stands with one leg on the dining table and one leg on the chair in an oddly heroic pose, staring out the window into the cold evening rain as she asks her makeshift analyst, the homework hotline lady, for advice regarding a social foible. Every time I see a reference to Cylene I think of the Neko Case song “Margaret vs. Pauline,” (with the names switched to Ruthie and Cylene, of course) a mournful little song about class issues. Margaret (Ruthie) is a poor factory worker envious of the apparent luxury that Pauline (Cylene) enjoys:

Two girls ride the blue line
Two girls walk down the same street
One left her sweater sitting on the train
And the other lost three fingers at the cannery
Everything’s so easy for Pauline
For Pauline, for Pauline

…Has Cylene’s social status ever been alluded to in this comic? I like to imagine that Cylene is Ruthie’s rich, uppity friend. It makes Ruthie feel classy to hang around Cylene, though she begrudges her her wealth, like my mom and her friend Pat (who I noticed, upon examining her bedside bookshelf once, is a fan of Ann Coulter).

All of this, for some reason, comes flooding into my brain when I see today’s One Big Happy.
Anonymous
March 9th, 2007 at 11:39 am [Reply]

And you better get me my money Bukkake! It seems somebody has broken into my bank account and spent all my money on internet porn. Times are tough, magee. Times are tough.
Holy Prepuce
March 9th, 2007 at 11:40 am [Reply]

Also interesting that the parents appear to have a restaurant-kitchen door in their bedroom, complete with shatter-proof glass.
Poppinjay
March 9th, 2007 at 11:40 am [Reply]

Jeffy’s shirt would make a most excellent beat off rag, the long sleeves are great for wiping.

Since, you know, Jeffy will be a virgin until the eventual and repeated prison gang rapes.
gh
March 9th, 2007 at 11:44 am [Reply]

#217 willethompson

My eyes!!

And thanks for the Ã©. I’ve been waiting for that one. I don’t really need it, but I added Â£ to my collection too. It looks lovely on the mantel.
Foobar
March 9th, 2007 at 11:45 am [Reply]

Hey, FBOFW was actually good today! (the 9th.) It dealt realistically and insightfully with April. That’s why, just for today, it’s FBOFW, not FOOB.
Harold
March 9th, 2007 at 11:49 am [Reply]

I think the father in Family Circus heard that the guys over in Funky Winkerbean are digging shallow graves, and wants to hurry over with his load of debris before they go back in the house.
gump worsley
March 9th, 2007 at 11:50 am [Reply]

Was Pablo Pistachio ever called an asshole?

(Semi-obscure musical reference.)
Old Fogeyette
March 9th, 2007 at 11:57 am [Reply]

Lio: I am trying to stop hating this strip. Really. Mostly because, in theory, I love the idea of a pet squid, especially one named Ishmael. And though I still believe the strip is exceedingly ugly, I must admit the squid is well-drawn.

THANKS, GH!
Harold
March 9th, 2007 at 11:58 am [Reply]

It’s also possible that he’s taking Dolly, Jeffy, P.J. and the rest over to Mark Trail’s Swimming Hole of No Return.

I’m hoping that Diver Dan’s nefarious and incomprehensible scheme ends up with him trapped in Theodore and Castoria’s beaver lodge.
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
March 9th, 2007 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

Re names that sound funny to Anglos: One of my wife’s cow orkers (note: not “one of my wives’ cow orkers” – do I look old-school Mormon to you?) is named “Zorka.” Naturally, my line is very similar to Conan’s quoted above – I’m always asking Rose (my wife) is Zorka’s conquered any galaxies today. I wonder if Zorka knows Chennux?
juggernaut
March 9th, 2007 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

#229

– not like you.
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
March 9th, 2007 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

229 gump worsley: Not in New York, oh-h-h yea-hh-hh-hh!!
bootsybooks
March 9th, 2007 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

# 232, Gadge, how do you ork a cow? Just wondering.
Red Greenback
March 9th, 2007 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

#229-gump worsley-That’s a big 10-4 there, Good Buddy! Got the ref, Nice one! BTW, I’d like to see one of the masters here do a tribute song parody to Old Fogeyette to the tune of “Warm Leatherette”…BTW(2), Thanks all for helping me over a rough patch in my grieving proccess. You folks are the best!…Red
cheech wizard
March 9th, 2007 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

MT – If the lake is so deep and full of logs and other crap, how did Dan find the scuba gear he stashed there?
Dingo
March 9th, 2007 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

Gadge, etc.: There used to be a woman at the Verizon Wireless store in the Loop (Chicago, for non-Midwesterners) named Tansey Moyer. I always thought that was a cool name. Sounds like the young Japanese woman who saves Tokyo from a radioactive sea creature. I would like to interview a woman named Swastika for a documentary. There has to be a great story there. Once, when I was working at a company in data entry, a woman was filing insurance papers for her newborn twins, Honeysuckle and Chiclet Jackson. I always wondered which would be the Supreme Court justice and which would be the pole dancer. Oh, and that one about a woman naming her daughter feh-mah-lay because she saw the word “female” on the birth certificate? That’s an urban myth.

In my bad fiction writing, I have named characters the following:
Blaze Glory
Nipples “Tammy” O’Flynn
Legs Akimbo

I’m thinking that the only place where anyone would get that last one would be here. They sure don’t get it in north-central Illinois.
Kronkina
March 9th, 2007 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

#179 Tracer Bullet – “meddlegasm” made me laugh out loud – and I’m work. Thanks a lot.

MW: Correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t Mary the one who knocked Aldo off the wagon to begin with? Was he not maintaining his sobriety until he met Mary? Even after Mary found out about his incredible latent guilt (something she could never comprehend, of course) over being in a drunken stupor while his poor wife drowned in the tub, she arranged the “intervention” including ol’ Chinbeard of all people (no empathy found there).

So. According to Ella, Mary could not have saved Aldo. Dear Ella, Mary could not save Aldo because she actively brought about his demise!
Dingo
March 9th, 2007 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

For those who haven’t been on this site for long, I believe it was four to six months ago that Gadge accidently invented the term cow orker. I’m a rural man, but never in my days have I ever orked a cow. Then again, I’ve also never worn ver-SAY-ssss.

Oh, and Jeffy would only be stereotypically gay if he referred to Grandma’s clothing as an ensemble, not an outfit. I’m thinking that Grandma is some type of mafioso.
Red Greenback
March 9th, 2007 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

Re: funny namers. A friend of mine was in a couple of classes in high school with a girl who has (had) the unfortunate name of Shirley Hiscock. Hopefully, she has since got married to a guy who’s surname is Youmustbejoking. IMHO, the name Shirley Hiscock is Scaduto-worthy.
Anonymous
March 9th, 2007 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

#219 – I suppose the depth of the water is supposed to be manifested in lack of light to effectively search for Dan. However, it is unfortunate – or typical – that Elrod chose now to recycle this storyline, because one has a hard time accepting the purported depth of the lake whan just a week ago (in MT time of course) it was so dry in LOFO that only the beaver pond saved the Morgan farm from a wildfire.
The Avocado Avenger
March 9th, 2007 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

#187 Squid Countess — That’s right! But isn’t Zoltan a Hungarian name? Her husband was Hungarian. I think. Maybe. All I know is that he was played by Arnold Schwartzenegger in the made for TV movie, and made for TV movies never lie.

Speaking of doofy names, have we all been following “Get Fuzzy”? Yeah, I thought so.
The Avocado Avenger
March 9th, 2007 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

And by “her” I meant “Jayne Mansfield.” I forget that you all can’t read my mind. YET.
Dingo
March 9th, 2007 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

Along Meddles Mary
with apologies to the Bloodhound Gang

Every time I think that I’m
The only one who’s lonely
I gaze upon the Charterstone pool
And every now and then
I spend my time jerking off or worse
And curse those faults in me

And then along meddles Mary
She makes me want to change my ways
Help orphans, liberate the gays
And gives me impudent thoughts
But then she makes me realize
I’m the type she would despise
Oh, won’t she hear my pleas?
When we met I asked her out to lunch
Now my Johnny Walker tastes sweet as a punch

When desire is to what you aspire
In the eyes of the meddlesome bitch
My love is simply a game that they play
And when the masquerade is played
Charterstone folks make jokes
At whom is most to blame today

And then along meddles Mary
She puts my gonads on a plate
Tries to fill my heart with hate
And then blames me
For every ill throughout eternity
I struggled with the bottle
And now I’ll hit the throttle
For her touch I’ll never know
Except a slap across the face
When we met I asked her out to lunch
Now my Johnny Walker tastes sweet as a punch

And when the morning of my demise has passed
The gassed up car that skids
Was flung below and I up to the stars
The psychodramas and the traumas gone
My love songs have all been sung
And hung upon the scars

And then along meddles Mary
Now with my untimed demise
She and her couterie of spies
Can choose another to harm
Dear Doctor Jeff, have you no cause for alarm?
When we met I asked her out to lunch
Now my Johnny Walker tastes sweet as a punch

Sweet as a punch
Sweet as a punch
Sweet as a punch
Sweet as a punch
SmartPeopleOnIce
March 9th, 2007 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

You might see a plate, or a squid, or a plate of squid…
Gabe
March 9th, 2007 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

Dingo: I’m pretty sure Dilber creator Scott Adams coined Cow Orker 10 years ago, unless there’s a joke I’m missing.
Paperback Rifler
March 9th, 2007 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

More funny names: I knew a renal doctor whose last name (seriously) was “Lifschitz” (yes, pronounced liff-shits). Nobody that I knew ever made fun of the name, though; the general consensus was that if you willfully go through life with a name like “Lifshitz” even though you can legally change it to something less embarrassing, then you’ve gotta be one freakin’ tough SOB.

240. Thanks for the explanation, Dingo; not having heard the term before, I had just assumed that “cow orking” might be something that’s possible only if you have the galaxy-conquering power of a “Zorka” (as in #232). You figure that if you can subdue entire star systems with a quick flick of your wrist, the orking of a cow is mere child’s play.

Rex Morgan (3-9): I have no idea where this plot is going; but I am really impressed that Abbey, in panel 2 , transforms into a P40 flying tiger. That is one talented dog.

Gil Thorp (3-9): So today’s episode seems even more pointless than usual; and since this is Gil Thorp (or “Gil Thorpe,” “Gill Thorp,” “Gwyla Tharp,” etc.) we’re talking about, that’s really saying something. What the heck is the point of Freckly Cubehead’s assertion in the third panel that he doesn’t drive a white Neon? I’ve thought of two possibilities:
1. In Milford, “driving a white Neon” might be a euphemism akin to “cleaning out the garage” or “going to the Bucket;” so maybe Freckly is on the cusp of making some sort of double entendre (i.e., “My sister may ‘drive a white Neon,’ but I’m holding out for a ‘great big Hummer!’ Haw, haw!”).
2. Perhaps we’re finally going to learn the truth about some of these weird-looking Thorpian creatures: “My sister does indeed drive a white Neon; but I, like the rest of my kind, journey from place to place in my intergalactic transport vessel, which is powered by an illudium PU-36 explosive space modulator and has totally bitchin’ flame decals running along the sides.”
Dingo
March 9th, 2007 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

Cow orker

Thanks, Gabe. I just think that the persons posting on this site are as fresh and original as possible.

â€œOriginal thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.â€ – Fran Lebowitz
Daktari
March 9th, 2007 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

So, the bottom of the lake is filled with logs? What kind, steel maple, or iron oak?
I know a guy from the east side of Buffalo, a one time very Polish neighborhood, named Casey Kielbasa Jr. Yep, his old man wanted his son to suffer as much as he did.
Brophy
March 9th, 2007 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

Is that Obi Wan Kenobi in the last panel of Phantom?
Sam Frank
March 9th, 2007 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

For what it’s worth, I don’t think the clearly-inebriated father in TDIET ought to driving anybody anywhere.
Red Greenback
March 9th, 2007 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

Oh, Mr. MaDingo, you’ve done it again! “gonads on a plate”!..Haw! I love it!

I can’t believe no one’s commented on this yet, but am I the only one who’s noticed the gathering piss puddles under Jeffy’s “gansta” trou?
Jys
March 9th, 2007 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

Loopina is one ugly kid.
Gabe
March 9th, 2007 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

I just wouldn’t want Gadge to get sued for cow infringement.
AhClem
March 9th, 2007 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

More on strange names: A few years ago, a group I belong to was sending out a mailing, and in addition to our members, we had a mailing list from a similar group. I was going through the two lists, culling the duplicates, when I came across the name Winifred Snozzlegrazzle.
gh
March 9th, 2007 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

#230 Old Fogeyette

You’re welcome, if I may be so bold as to say so. Also in response to waaaay back on #51:
I will stop and ask for directions — if I’m in danger of being late for an appointment. I don’t do cable TV, so it’s not too painful to scroll through 5 channels before turning the boxcar thing off. And, yes, I always put the seat down, mainly so no one will know how bad my aim is.

#245 — Bingo, Dingo! Though I remember the version by The Association.
fizzy logic
March 9th, 2007 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

#115 – cheech wizard – I’m a little late to the party lately, but I had noticed the nausea-inducing angles in Judge Parker myself. It doesn’t make the story line any more exciting – it’s just chopping the whole thing up into little bits for us and swirling it around in a blender. Which reminds me of…

Gil Thorp. Which I’m actually starting to like in it’s atrociousness. (And gh’s game makes it much more fun). There are so many questions that each strip brings into play. For example, first panel, right hand side, girl or boy?

Last panel, what are those things on RJ’s face? (Surely freckles are not empty circles).

Second panel, why does she need to write these things down, does she have some sort of learning disablilty that keeps her from remembering anything that anyone tells her?

Last panel, who does RJ’s eyebrows, and do you suppose they wax, pluck or thread? With such an excellent cosmetician in town, why can’t they get the girls looking better?
Red Greenback
March 9th, 2007 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

Jeffy’s “ganGsta” trou….I don’t have the time to look it up, so maybe “gansta” has some sort of relevance. I gotta get to to my place of toil. Later, RG.
gh
March 9th, 2007 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

Missing panel 4 in todayâ€™s (DTGT): â€œShe may own it, but we found ear wax on the keys, so we know it was a guy who was driving.â€
smacky
March 9th, 2007 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

#204: Josh, I knew a high school football coach named Coach Christmas. He had a daughter, and yes, the bastard named her Mary. Poor girl.

#225: Poppinjay, that is sick, and I’m ashamed that I laughed out loud at the first sentence of your post! I think it was your use of “most excellent.” I imagined Keanu Reeves saying it circa the Bill and Ted movies.
Mibbitmaker
March 9th, 2007 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

The last couple of MW strips are likely Moy’s way of saying, “You don’t get it, Curmudgeons! Aldo was evil! EVIL!! Mary and Chinbe — uh, I mean Prof…prof… Aw, you know who! — had nothing to do with it! He’s a freakin’ LUSH! He harrassed my heroine, he had to die! Ritzill — Rita! — just broke swans! THAT lush didn’t have to die! Kelrast DID!! Don’t you SEE?? I made a freakin’ psychic see THAT! GAH!!!”

Moy really needs an unending supply of ping-pong balls falling on her head for a while.
Red Greenback
March 9th, 2007 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

Funny namers part 2: Ima Hogg (1882-1975), philanthropist and patron of the arts, daughter of Sarah Ann (Stinson) and Texas Governor James Stephen Hogg. Contary to popular belief, Ima did NOT have a twin sister named Ura.
Mike
March 9th, 2007 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

FC – Keane is way, way, out of touch with reality. Everybody knows that Big Boy wears red checkered overalls, not some t-shirt sent by Grandma.
Anon
March 9th, 2007 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

My last name is Worth.

I think I will name my first born Mary.
Harold
March 9th, 2007 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

Regarding today’s Get Fuzzy, is Bucky so dumb that he thinks throwing food into an open garbage can will somehow make it less appetizing to a couple of hungry dogs? And Foodar is surely already waddling over to get what he can.
dreadedcandiru2
March 9th, 2007 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

FBoFW – Let’s hope we can wrap up ‘Make April look like a shit week’ tomorrow so we can watch something REALLY awful.
andreavis
March 9th, 2007 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

Around here, there used to be lots of signs stapled to the utility poles, offering opportunities to “Work From Home” with a phone number to call. Some local prankster chopped the upper left corner off most of the signs, thus rendering the phrase “ork From Home.” So not only can you be an orker, you can make big bucks at it in the privacy of your own living room.
fizzy logic
March 9th, 2007 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

I’m loving Pugspeare and Foodar in Get Fuzzy. They should come by and visit more often.
The Porridge Bird
March 9th, 2007 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

263 Red Greenback: I suppose it’s gone quite a ways away from the original Kevork comment, but I have to mention this:

I actually went to school with a Frank N. Stein. We used to make fun of him all the time. Because his middle name was Nancy.
Alex
March 9th, 2007 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

I really don’t feel there’s been enough about the fact that, while digging graves, Funky Winkerbean goes on this morbid diatribe: “I guess I figured that becoming the father of a five year old I’d missed all the screaming and the diaper changes. Well, at least there were no diaper changes.” The unspoken line is, of course, “And I just ended the screaming with this shovel.”
AirForbes
March 9th, 2007 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

Gadge: â€œA hunter could still throw a freshly killed and uncovered deer in the back of his pickup, though, because the deerâ€™s body parts would be real, Myers said.â€

I feel a TDIET comin’ on:

Barfo gets a ticket for putting those fake plastic body parts on the back of his pickup…but then who drives by? Yep, that’s Edgein, and he’s attached the real thing to his pickup…but it’s OK because they’re real. It’s just the plastic ones we don’t want the kiddies to see.

Oh yeah!
MonkeyHawk
March 9th, 2007 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

Regarding the etomology of “cow worker

I think this goes further back, to the Usenet. Specifically the newsgrope alt.folklore.urban. (”Newsgrope” is one of theirs, too).

alt.folklore.urban ultimately begat snopes.com which has become the Intertubes’ seminal reference for urban legends. Best as I can remember, I first discovered alt.folklore.urban in 1992 at which time “cow orker” was standard lexicon.

Depending on who you listen to (and the irony is not lost) alt.folklore.urban (AFU) has been credited as the origin for all sorts of now-accepted web jargon such as, “LOL,” “trolling,” “earworm,” etc.

Questioning a poster’s “voracity,” was always worth a chuckle at AFU.

At its peak, AFU was a conglomeration of the snarkiest people on line. A bunch of TypeO personalitites.
Quacks Like A Duck
March 9th, 2007 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

#272: It’s totally fine for a woman in a car to lift her shirt to other drivers. But if her breasts are fake, then that’s just wrong.
gh
March 9th, 2007 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

#269 fizzy logic

Me too, but I’m worried our own Foobar may get slapped with a copyright infringement suit. Foobar? You might want to get Attorney Smurglap’s card!
Mibbitmaker
March 9th, 2007 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

The Born Loser strip linked in #192: I think Mr. Veeblefester must have friends named Potter Zebra, Axolottery, Ossy Fogla, Farshloogyner, Mickey Biddyrow, and Alfred Q. Oldwuman. And reads old Mud magazines, too. And his motto is “It’s crazy to ship a buzzer the dramedy inside”.

(What, me worry if you don’t get it?)
Anonymous
March 9th, 2007 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

Re: 265 – My last name is Worthy – I think I’ll name my first daughter F#$%.
migellito
March 9th, 2007 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

“Guilt is pointless. Don’t burden yourself with it! Now, Mary, I have another job for you.. someone else must die.. tonight!”

On the next episode of Mary Worth: Agent of BIDDIE.
Poppinjay
March 9th, 2007 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

Yeah, what monkey hawk said. Cow-orker has been around a loo-o-o-o-ng time. A plugger’s cow-orker is his co-worker.
gkl
March 9th, 2007 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

MW, 3/9/07, 2nd panel: A humble warning, Mary: St. Peter frowns upon people fitting themselves for halos before they actually die. He might get the impression that you’re a bit of a tw*t.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
March 9th, 2007 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

#243 Avocado Avenger — Yes, Jayne Mansfield’s husband and Mariska Hargitay’s father was Hungarian bodybuilder Mickey (Miklos) Hargitay.

More useless trivia for everyone: The then three-and-a-half-year-old Mariska Hargitay was asleep in the back seat during the car accident that claimed the life of her mother. Also, Jayne Mansfield’s mother, Vera Palmer, outlived her famous daughter by many years, lasting until the year 2000.
Buck Ripsnort
March 9th, 2007 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

You want funny names? We have a plumber in these parts named Schmuck. His explanation? “Granpapa was a rude bastard, and the boys at Ellis Island had a nasty sense of humor.”
Buck Ripsnort
March 9th, 2007 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

As for GF, anybody else think Shakespug looks like a handpuppet? The way the artist shows only his head and forepaws doesn’t help.
Mr. Oâ€™Malley
March 9th, 2007 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

Collecting strange names from mailing lists is not a very reliable method.

Whenever I do anything that would result in my name going on a mailing list, I use a different name, so I can see where it goes.

So when I get mail addressed to “Emaretta Toktoyuktuk”, for example, I know it’s the result of my sending away for the free book of cream of mushroom soup recipes, and treat it accordingly.
fizzy logic
March 9th, 2007 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

#277 – Anonymous – I must admire your fecundity in posting – Your last name is Worthy – shouldn’t you name your daughter Margo?
Little Guy
March 9th, 2007 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

262: Looks like Moy is taking LJ Lessons on blundgering the reader into submission.

MARGO you Moy — Aldo Lives!!
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
March 9th, 2007 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

Monkey Hawk 273: I’m warning you, you put the words “seminal” and “cow” in the same sentence in front of Wisconsinites, and you will inevitably get bull-based humor. Not from me, though: this post is as bull-based humor-free as my normal posts are non- bull-based humor-free.

You all are correct that I did not make up “cow orker” – just borrowed it from others.
SmartPeopleOnIce
March 9th, 2007 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

GF: Shakespeare references? Is Conley out of his mind? Doesn’t he know the readers of STL Post Dispatch are voting on strips as we speak (er, type)?

The irony will be that GF gets voted off the island because Post readers think Conley’s making fun of Tony Blair.
fizzy logic
March 9th, 2007 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

#283 – Buck Ripsnort – correcting my #269 – Yeah, Shakespug sounds better than Pugspeare. We heard that he was wearing a sweatshirt as pants, but we haven’t been able to confirm that by a full body shot yet. It’s a little strange, maybe he can’t draw a pugbottom?
Mr. Oâ€™Malley
March 9th, 2007 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

Another thing about unusual names. In the early 19th century, everyone in Germany was required to get a surname. This affected mostly Jews, who up to that time had been using the father’s name as a surname (e.g., Ben Jacob).

The officials in charge of recording the surnames extorted bribes by threatening to give people unflattering surnames. People who were too poor to pay the bribe got weird or insulting surnames.
anne
March 9th, 2007 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

290. mr. omalley — that explains my friend’s surname, “Dumm” (literally “dumb” in German). He and his family have a good sense of humor about it, though.
Quacks Like A Duck
March 9th, 2007 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

#290 Mr. Oâ€™Malley – What’s your source on that? (Not that I doubt it, but that I’d like to read more about that.)
gh
March 9th, 2007 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

#288 SmartPeopleOnIce

Which reminded me to vote again. Go here, folks.

http://www.STLtoday.com/comics

Remember. The ability to throw an election is a terrible thing to waste. We did it to the Toronto Star, we can do it again.
Paperback Rifler
March 9th, 2007 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

292. More information on early 19th century German surnames can be found on the Internet. (At least, that’s what I’ve heard; I just can’t remember where . . .)
insolenttomato
March 9th, 2007 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

re: Funny names — At my grad school, the chaplain was Rev. Kelly Sprinkle. After he and his partner’s committment ceremony, his name was legally changed to Kelly Sprinkle-Athanus. I propose a theory similar to Josh’s re: Mrs. Stella Patella — Kelly Sprinkle and Dmitri Athanus must have really hit it off on their first date. Otherwise they would have done the name math and run like hell.

#136 Heckler123: Would you be my grandma?

#177 Pozzo: “Liberal” in and of itself is too vague a euphemism. For Jews, you really need to specify “East-coast liberal” . . . or better yet, “New York liberal” in order for the anti-Semitism to get across. Similarly, “West-coast liberal,” “San Francisco liberal,” or “Massachusetts liberal” in areas too blue for blatant homophobia to fly.
Poteet
March 9th, 2007 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

# 199 — Smurglap, thank you for leaving us our Earth money, and congratulations on your obviously-surperior anti-matter harvesting economy. And if you ever do want potatoes, I recommend Idaho. Here in Iowa, what we raise are mostly corn and soybeans. Lots and lots of corn and soybeans. Warm regards.
Mr. Oâ€™Malley
March 9th, 2007 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

292. It was something I found on-line while looking for something quite different. Apparently the author E. T. A. Hoffman was one of the people who abused his civil service position in this way. It’s mentioned here.
Poteet
March 9th, 2007 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

Names — I once encountered a “Couch Davenport.” And my mother had a college friend named Delight Divine.
UncleJeff
March 9th, 2007 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

There’s a very fine baseball writer for the Baltimore Sun named Peter Schmuck. The baseball stadium in St. Cloud Minnesota is Dick Putz Field. My favorite name for a person I met is Wenzel “Bunny” Humpal. Either that or Fudd Fedie.
cheech wizard
March 9th, 2007 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

In today’s FC, Bil has all the kids loaded in a wheelbarrow, obviously taking them next door to where Les and Funky are digging the hole.

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070309&name=Family_Circus

Thel seems pretty happy about it.
Dennis Jimenez
March 9th, 2007 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

My Jewish neighbor has dubbed me Dennis “Putz” Jimenez – he said it means “straight and strong” in Hebrew. I’m a proud Putz!
gh
March 9th, 2007 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

I just remembered I went to high school with a Crystal Bright and she had a sister, Penny. No, they aren’t that funny, but I imagine if they showed up in FW everyone would give a knowing half-smirk and say “Cute.”
Poteet
March 9th, 2007 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

# 205 — gh, you have changed my life!
Mr. Oâ€™Malley
March 9th, 2007 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

245. Another masterpiece, Dingo. I liked “couterie of spies”. But it was The Association who did the original version of “Along Comes Mary”. Her last name was Warner, as the old joke goes.

The composer was Tandyn Aylmer, also famed for his contributions to pot-smoking technology. According to mythology he went insane after Leonard Bernstein called him a genius for writing that song. I’m not sure if there is supposed to be a connection. Janis Ian seemed to survive being called a genius by Leonard Bernstein.
gh
March 9th, 2007 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

Yaay, Poteet!

If I make an infomercial, can I use you for a testimonial?
Red Greenback
March 9th, 2007 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

Poteet- If and when I have the hankerin’ to change my screen name: can I use “Couch Davenport”?. I’m also partial to “Meager Copious”…Ah, good times! Back to my place of toil, lunch break’s over. See y’all later.
Poteet
March 9th, 2007 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

# 218 — BWAHAHA! A bit of advice, Mr. Bukkake — your English is still too good. You need to make it worse.
Howard Erk
March 9th, 2007 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

Get Fuzzy will get voted off the comics page because it doesn’t belong there.

The writing is too fussy and the drawings are too fussy.
Poteet
March 9th, 2007 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

Names — And I know someone who went to college with someone named Loveday Conquest.
Gimlet Eyes
March 9th, 2007 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

Jeffy adds: “To say nothing of this box of Trojan Large she sent me.”

And I hate Pluggers. Never funny.

And Loopina’s dad has no sympathy for his little girl getting homesick? What a @%*!!
Widdle Jeffy
March 9th, 2007 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

When Grandpa went to that big cloud in the sky, all Grandmama had left was her “big boy” Jeffy.

Let’s just leave it at sick and twisted, shall we.
Poteet
March 9th, 2007 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

# 305 — gh, you certainly may. (Still getting the hang of this..)

# 306 — Red, you totally have my permission:-). Hope you’ll have a good weekend.
Poteet
March 9th, 2007 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

Okay, this is a good time, since gh has given me an exciting new palette of text options. Please tell me honestly, anyone who feels so inclined — are punctuation faces like this:-) annoying? If using them is causing grimaces and involuntary eye-twitching, I need to know, and will stop.

RMMD — So are the cops fake, corrupt, both, or neither? If fake or corrupt, were they involved in setting up and/or protecting the meth lab, and if so, couldn’t they find better help than Elvis and Mae? Yeesh.

FC — I have a wheelbarrow. I have seen many eleven-year-old boys. A typical eleven-year-old boy would take up a LOT more room in the wheelbarrow than Billy does. I realize this is a small graphic sin compared to the much larger sins in the Keane lexicon, but geez, this strip is so (Margo)ing stupid that occasionally I just have to vent.
Quacks Like A Duck
March 9th, 2007 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

Today’s Family Circus is a Pluggers comic.

This brings deep shame to both comic strips.
cheech wizard
March 9th, 2007 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

FC – Jeffy isn’t upset because his new clothes are too big for him – he’s distraught because he knows he’s going to have to wear that shirt outside, where the other kids will beat the crap out of him.
Dingo
March 9th, 2007 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

Thanks, Mr. O’Malley. Yeah, I wondered about the name of the band. When I did a Googlin’ on the phrase “along comes Mary lyrics” the first thing it returned was the Bloodhound Gang. I’m 42; that song was popular before my time (I think). So… I took the internet’s word for it.

More information about incorrect information may be found on the… aw, hell.
Old Fogeyette
March 9th, 2007 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

Dingo 245: Hahahahaha! Now my Johnnie Walker…. perfect!

gh 257: Hahaha to you too! I think my husband always puts the seat down for the same reason!

I once had a job where for eight hours a day I read indexes of scientists’ names, looking for typos. Really. I lasted two days. But while I was doing it I made a list of my favorite names. Unfortunately, the only one I recall right now is Gleb Strub. I also (at the same time, actually) had a male gyn named Hefflefinger.
fizzy logic
March 9th, 2007 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

#313 – Poteet – my opinion is that you’re so damned cute you can do anything you want – smiley faces, whatever. You have carte blanche here.

FC – I didn’t think Billy was eleven – I thought he was seven, but that still doesn’t explain why they are all the same damned midget size.
Anonymous
March 9th, 2007 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

#313 – Poteet
As a good man once said, “Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em”. I end every e-mail with :>D or :>P or :>O depending on my mood. You do what you want to do, girlfriend. If anyone ever complained to me about it they would get this – }:>[ .
Dave
March 9th, 2007 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

293

The poll would not let me do a 12-way tie for last …
Trotzenbonnie
March 9th, 2007 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

#319 was me.
Dingo
March 9th, 2007 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

Old Fogeyette, that sounds like a great name for a bad 70s movie starring Peter Graves: The Hefflefinger Hysteria. Something about a psychotic gynecologist who stirs women into ectasy while their feet are in the stirrups. With a soundtrack by the Lovin’ Spoonful. Yeah.
Ghost Riders in the Foob
March 9th, 2007 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

TDIET: How ’bout that bullet of Flop Sweat flying from the telephone?
Trotzenbonnie
March 9th, 2007 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

#316 – Dingo
The Association’s “Along Came Mary” was blasting from my transistor radio in 1966. You were probably rocking in your cradle to that tune.

Mr. O’Malley – Leonard Bernstein declared that Rubber Soul was his favorite album. Didn’t the Beatles get all trippy right after that? Could there be the Curse of the Maestro?
Bill James
March 9th, 2007 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

For all of you with a “thing” for Data, check out:

http://www.projekt.com/projekt/product.asp?dept%5Fid=&sku=PRO00149

Track three is “Sexy Data Tango” and you’ll find out that he’s “fully functional and anatomically correct.”

Enjoy
MossMoses
March 9th, 2007 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

For those fellow curmudgeonites not fluent in Biddy, I’ll translate today’s dialog:

“I have to be pro-active”. = I have an irresistable urge to barge into other peoples’ personal affairs and make them live their lives as I see fit from my smug, waspy, knowitall perspective”.

“You saved your Dr. friend” = Nice meddling, Mary -high five!

“With Aldo you could not” = He was not receptive to your intrusive meddling and cracked under the strain of the intensive group meddling. Don’t worry though, you were never charged with a crime. No harm no foul!

How did Ella know Aldo’s name if she doesn’t have clairvoyant super powers?
Kronkina
March 9th, 2007 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

How do you turn this stuff off?
stinky pete
March 9th, 2007 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

288 SPOI, are you implying that the average St. Louisan can’t understand a Shakespeare reference(interrobang)(interrobang) Not that you’d be wrong.

At any rate, I appreciate the continued interest in the poll at STLtoday.com/comics.
Howard Erk
March 9th, 2007 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

Thank gods the good folks of St. Louis know it is time to put Get Fussy to sleep.
stinky pete
March 9th, 2007 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

327 Kronkina, to what stuff do you refer?
Kronkina
March 9th, 2007 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

The bold and italics. Alas, I am not HTML-savvy, yet want to fit in (ah, those old junior high memories). I want to embolden my words! I want to emphasize! I can get them on but can’t get them off!
Mike
March 9th, 2007 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

#326 – Amazingly enough, Ella’s superpower is that she pays attention. Mary mentioned Aldo’s name in yesterday’s strip.
gh
March 9th, 2007 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

#313 Poteet

I’ll echo fizzy logic: on you, it looks good. And I sent you the only one I’ve ever done yesterday (Wednesday?) since it was a comment about your chocolate consumption and I didn’t want you to misinterpret and go all Abbey the Wonderdog on me.
Old Fogeyette
March 9th, 2007 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

#322 Dingo: you crack me up! I’m so glad you’re still posting!
Dingo
March 9th, 2007 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

I believe that Kronkina was writing to Jane and imploring her to tell Kronkina how to stop this crazy thing… a comment my boyfriends used to make back in my twenties but that no one has uttered for quite some time (heaving sigh).

My cake is dough on both sides.
gh
March 9th, 2007 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

#331 Kronkina

Did you check the link at #205?
stinky pete
March 9th, 2007 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

331 Kronkina, you start and stop bolding or italicizing like so:

<b>This text is bold</b> and this is not
<i>This text is italic</i> and this is not

which yields:

This text is bold and this is not
This text is italic and this is not

This web site explains it pretty well.
Porky
March 9th, 2007 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

Haven’t read all the posts, so maybe I’ll be the first to comment on Friday’s Family Circus: “Our recreational vehicle is a one-wheeler”. The Keanes are Pluggers!
Kronkina
March 9th, 2007 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

gh & stinky pete:

Y’all are awesome. Thank ya kindly, sirs.
gh
March 9th, 2007 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

#337 stinky pete

What I want to know is how you could show it without actually doing it. That’s probably another HTML trick.
Vince M.
March 9th, 2007 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

208: Yeah, those FC kids’ uninostrils remind me of Nibbler from ‘Futurama’.
243: The most famous Hungarian composer (at least the only one I can think of) is Zoltan Kodaly, so I’m guessing it’s a common name there. Still sounds like it came from the ‘Flash Gordon’ serial though.
Dingo
March 9th, 2007 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

I can get them on but canâ€™t get them off!

Kronkina, that’s a common complaint around here. You invite the snarker into your home, ply them with port and cans of aerosol cheese, sashay to the davenport in nothing but a see-through teddy and conveniently placed book of Proust, and begin your mad, sweet intercourse of snarking. You both start out at 1 or 2 – both thinking that you’re actually 1 but not knowing for sure – and continue on until you reach the 300s. You know he has to work in the morning and your mother and Aunt Judy are arriving tomorrow to help you defrost the refrigerator during a game of Mah Jongg. Finally, you thrust your finger into the jar of lube conveniently kept in the drawer of the end table and jam said finger up his sweet, undefiled, former fratboy ass. He screams like a poor white woman at a tent revival. Gathering his clothes, he scurries to the door like so many cockroaches in the light or celebutants from rehab.

That’ll do it.

Trust me.
queek
March 9th, 2007 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

my college girlfriend’s hallmate was Tajma Hall.

she went by “Kim”
cheech wizard
March 9th, 2007 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

No, Mary, you couldn’t have saved Aldo. Sooner or later, some other group of pretentious, self-righteous pricks would have ganged up on him and crushed what remained of his fragile ego into a gritty black residue beneath their heels.

So no, Mary, you’re not responsible. Except, perhaps, in a very narrow, legalistic, civil tort, liability-thingy kind of way, depending on how his kids feel about it and which state we’re living in, which I think is California. In which case you’re fucked.
gh
March 9th, 2007 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

#342 Dingo and #344 cheech wizard

And here I gotta bug out just when we’re getting the BWAHAHAHA! on. Oh, well.
SmartPeopleOnIce
March 9th, 2007 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

#328 (Pete) It’s been my experience that the average St. Louisan canâ€™t understand the concept of a left-hand turn lane, let alone Shakespeare.

Actually, there is a yearly Shakespeare festival in STL. It’s held outdoors. In the middle of summer. The net result being a positively Funky Winkerbenian twist of irony in that the Saint Louis Shakespeare Society has managed to kill off everyone in Saint Louis who ever had an interest in Shakespeare.

Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps. And a lot of us just keel over midway through the third act cause it’s like 4000 flippin’ degrees out here.
stinky pete
March 9th, 2007 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

346 SPOI, I try to get there every year, and invariably pick the night of the worst thunderstorm of the entire run. At least it’s not the Muny.
Mr. Oâ€™Malley
March 9th, 2007 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

322. Well, young Dingo, unfortunately the Lovin’ Spoonful had already broken up before the Sixties were over. That’s why John Sebastian played Woodstock as a solo act. I did like their soundtrack to What’s Up Tiger Lily though.

342. I’m still chuckling. It’s a shame that writing talent like that is so hard to turn into a career.
stinky pete
March 9th, 2007 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

340 gh, use the HTML codes for “greater than” and “less than” signs, rather than the signs themselves.

In general if you want to copy someone’s cool HTML trick, you can always view the page source (in Internet Explorer, “Source” under the “View” menu) and see the HTML code that created the page.
anne
March 9th, 2007 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

325. bill james — thanks for that song link. it made me feel funny inside.
Poteet
March 9th, 2007 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

# 318 — Thank you kindly, Fizzy Logic. And you are right about Billy — I just checked. I appreciate knowing that Billy is even less realistic than I thought, since he sometimes talks like a fifty-year-old businessman. And apparently PJ the Silent is officially eighteen months old. In my admittedly-limited experience, most babies that age are starting to talk, or at least babble a lot. Perhaps PJ has been too traumatized by his years in FC to want to say anything.

# 319 — Thank you, Trotzenbonnie, TDIET maven!

# 333 — Thanks, gh! And I would never go all Abbey the Wonderdog on you, assuming we’re thinking of the same thing…uh-oh, here I go again…:-).
Mr. Oâ€™Malley
March 9th, 2007 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

340. Well, gh, once you have mastered HTML tags, you can progress to the world of HTML special characters. A table can be found here.

Every special character starts with an ampersand and ends with a semicolon. They all have numbers and many have names too. So if I have ampersand & followed by eacute; I get é. To do a post like 337 you use the > and < characters.

Using “See it before you say it” is highly recommended (¡±¢!).
Dingo
March 9th, 2007 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

Oh. My. Gawd. Mr. O’Malley, you caught it. I was referencing What’s Up, Tiger Lily? That’s why I love this place.

Oh, and going back a few threads, I had a great phone conversation with the head of my department this afternoon. It’s amazing how quickly they’ll call you to “discuss the discrepancies” when you mention a libel suit against them and the student.
Bill James
March 9th, 2007 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

#350 anne – I hope it was funny in a nice way.
MonkeyHawk
March 9th, 2007 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

In the small Kansas town where I grew up, Mr. Cook ran a lunch counter, Mr. Sleeper had a morturary and furniture store, the fire chief was named Chard, there was Hammer’s Harware, Sadler’s Western Wear was the source for horseback-riding gear, and the local merchant of fine watches, rings, and gemstones was Mr. Jewell. (I still attribute my fetish about apostophes to his neon sign that read “Jewell’s.”) Mr. Crook was the town’s television repairman.

I remember vividly my personal awakening at about age 5 or 6 when I realized these were strange coindidences rather than how the world worked.

The epiphany probably came from wondering why Mr. Carpenter was a barber and Mr. Shaver was a woodworker.
Red Greenback
March 9th, 2007 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

Hey, I can do Donald Trump! Â§:-(
Red Greenback
March 9th, 2007 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

Funny namers… I always thought Flaco Siegel was a pretty damn hilarious name. Yep, more information on Peter “Flaco” Siegel can be found on the internet.
Dr. Laura
March 9th, 2007 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

My favorite names from an ER I worked in on the bad side of town:

Jailanna and Feloneze
skulking on the outskirts
March 10th, 2007 at 2:10 am [Reply]

Okay, first I just need to see if this will work for me too, ’cause I have a mysterious power to make techno-stuff go wonky.
Secondly, re funny names, my late mother was born on Christmas day, and her mother named her….Carol.
And third–I’m just gonna play some more with the html thingy.
All right, here goes nothing…
skulking on the outskirts
March 10th, 2007 at 2:35 am [Reply]

Hmm-not quite what I had in mind. Obviously this is one of those deep, quirky techniques that techno-idiots like myself may have a hard time mastering.
Oh, and I love ‘Get Fuzzy’! Even given the overpowering desire I sometimes get to kick Bucky’s furry little butt across the room, just to establish the ascendancy of Homo Sapiens over Felis Domesticus.
Well, the theoretical ascendancy, anyway. Bucky makes me really glad my cat can’t talk. Seriously, Rob needs to step up and put Bucky on a week long diet of the cheap crappy kitty food, and make that little hairball realize how dependent he is on Rob. “You don’t like the Pureedna brand? Well, how about you go out and get a JOB, and pay for your own damned gourmet minced unnameable chicken parts in rendered fat-with-cornstarch-gravy, huh, you little puking, buttlicking, litter-kicking useless furbutt?” Yeah, that’d teach him.
Oh, who am I kidding. Bucky would just remorselessly puke all over Rob’s bed, shit in his shoes, and shred his clothing, until Rob caved in. That’s how my cat manages me.
Marion Delgado
March 10th, 2007 at 6:55 am [Reply]

Now that Ella’s asked around and figured out what Mary wants to hear, how long before a really worthy cause needs “just a little” starter money?

How long? not long!
Vince M.
March 10th, 2007 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

324: You may have a point about Bernstein – he pegged Brian Wilson a genius while he was making his ‘Smile’ album, and it took the poor bastard 37 years to get over that.
Anonymous
March 15th, 2007 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

Grace says..no matter all the critiques about FC I think it is very real life….typical kids.
Anonymous
March 15th, 2007 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

Grace says: Shove in File 13 – Cornered, In the Bleachers & Dilbert………..they are for the birds!!
Jeffy
March 29th, 2007 at 9:34 am [Reply]

Jeffy’s fantasy

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