The Comics Curmudgeon

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Friday quickies

Apartment 3-G, 3/9/07

You know, I’ve made fun of Apartment 3-G for being sexless, but I may have to revise that assessment; today’s strip contains a fairly blatant invitation for a quick pre-business-trip Chinese-food-and-screwing session. I’m glad to see that Eric is still attracted to Margo after she’s revealed her hideously mutated claw-hand in panel three.

Archie, 3/9/07

Uh oh! It looks like the Archie-Joke-Generating-Laugh-Unit 3000 is malfunctioning! I’m assuming that “secret” in the first panel is some kind of typo (writo?) for “great”, since it doesn’t make sense in context, and the third panel is clearly supposed to repeat the line from the first. There’s always a few bugs in the system!

Blondie, 3/9/07

Hey, do you know what the least appropriate day would be on which to run a comic that revolves around it being “a brand-new week”? That’s right, Friday!

Hey, do you know what day it is today?

Mary Worth, 3/9/07

Man, you sure don’t have to say much to make Mary Worth feel good about herself. Look at her facial expression and body language in the second panel; it’s like an apotheosis of smugness. “Why … I did! I saved Jeff’s life! I’m a hero! I’m the greatest hero in American history!”

Dennis the Menace, 3/9/07

THAT’S RIGHT, MR. WILSON, YOU TELL ‘EM! BLACK POWER! BLACK POWER!

This entry was posted on Friday, March 9, 2007 at 05:02 pm and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Archie, Blondie, Dennis the Menace, Mary Worth. |

275 responses to “Friday quickies”

Blondie
March 9th, 2007 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

MT: It’s almost insulting that Jack Elrod thinks he can reuse panels from past strips repeatedly and no one will notice.
MW: Mary’s back to her old self, and after only one strip too. That woman is impossibly self-righteous on her own. She doesn’t need people cheering her on.
FBFW: I, for one, am sick of the constant portrayal of April as the alternately kind and thoughtful, and unreasonable and skanky teenager. Make up your mind Lynn!
R.M.M.D: That dog can do anything. Stop a mulletted druggie and negotiate with policemen single-pawed. She does more than the entire cast put together.
ohyes
March 9th, 2007 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

It’s Eric that has the secret style. He can’t let it be known where he’s going because there’s an embargo on arms shipments there.
stinky pete
March 9th, 2007 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

The Josh Reads Millenary Moment

Josh Reads Post #11 is the first to mention B.C., kick-starting the love-hate relationship that all Curmudgeonistas have with Johnny Hart, except for the love part. Time travelers beware – Josh says something nice about the strip!

This has been your â€œJosh Reads Millenary Moment.â€ 17 more posts till the millennipost!
zqfmgb
March 9th, 2007 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

Are you implying that the Archie-Joke-Generating-Laugh-Unit 3000 ever actually functioned? ’cause I don’t remember a single laugh generated.
Squawk
March 9th, 2007 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

Today’s A3G works a lot better if you replace the word “see” in the first panel with “suck.”

DTM: Is Dennis in the bugle corps?
lushj
March 9th, 2007 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

“BLACK POWER” frickin’ killed me! Posts like this one are why I’m addicted to this site!
Non-Shannon
March 9th, 2007 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

Boy, I really hate the way Giella (or is it Moy?) chooses to represent aged bosoms. Apparently he thinks a few lines radiating from the armpit are enough to accurately render breasts which, though presumably old and withered, shouldn’t be quite that flat.
Uncle Lumpy
March 9th, 2007 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

In panel 3 of Archie, Nancy looks like a grown-up Ruthie from One Big Happy. Grow, Ruthie, grow!
SmartPeopleOnIce
March 9th, 2007 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

Crikey, allright, allright, enough!

Either Mary and Ella have to stop talking or one of them has to take their top off.

PS: My prediction for Mark Trail? Tomorrow, Dan reappears. With Mentos.
zqfmgb
March 9th, 2007 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

the only way that Dennis might have been menacing is within the following perameters:
-the year is 1956
-Dennis has been playing the Devil’s Jazz

Given Mr. Wilson’s raised fist I can’t help but wonder if every Dennis the menace strip is followed by director’s cut style child abuse. maybe that’s why he gets progressively less menacing.
cheech wizard
March 9th, 2007 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

Archie – Everyone knows that, in order to draw people realistically, an artist first must be able to draw them naked. Which means Chuck must be banging the living shit out of her.
Genetic_Mishap
March 9th, 2007 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

Poor Joey just wants someone to tend to his broken left arm, but he’s too much of a milquetoast to do anything other than point and hope someone notices…
The Photocopiest
March 9th, 2007 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth: force of stability in nature, in order to save a life, she had to take a life.
fizzy logic
March 9th, 2007 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

Is is just me, or is Ella beginning to channel Yoda in this strip?
Krazy Kat
March 9th, 2007 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

MW-I swear, if Aldo appears to Mary in a dream and absolves her of all guilt I will personally fly to California and set fire to the entire Charterstone complex.
TurtleBoy
March 9th, 2007 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

A3G: the final panel in today’s strip would be much more fulfilling with a few o’ those patented Margoquotes: I’m “starving.” I hope you know how to “cook.”
madder
March 9th, 2007 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

So who the hell is that woman in panel 2 of A3G? Not Margo. The hairstyle is different, the nose has grown, and the eyes are way too beady to be our favorite Margo.

Maybe the thought of what she’s about to do has induced a Sibyl moment, and this personality is desperately trying to scare the guy off.
MrP
March 9th, 2007 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

I wonder how the brainstorming session for this day’s “Dennis” went.

“So, yeah, he’s going to be chased by Mr. Wilson after having pulled some prank, right? What kinda crazy thing has he done to the old guy? What would be the funniest image to accompany the cute little joke, here?”
“He… blew his trumpet!”
“BRILLIANT!”

In the meantime, Joey remains his usual hideously mutated self. Seriously, that kid’s like something out of a post-apocalyptic movie where nuclear radiation killed everyone and turned the rest into abominations.
Poteet
March 9th, 2007 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

Moy and Giella knew that second panel would send this site into paroxysms of dancing rage, and that’s why they did it. They’re playin’ us like a violin, folks.
whuppita whuppita whomp
March 9th, 2007 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

Archie, Panel 3: Can…anyone help me understand why Nancy would discard her pants while school is in session.
treedweller
March 9th, 2007 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

Yes, despite all her best efforts, Mary simply could not prevent Aldo’s death. After all, she told him she was not interested. She gathered some of her friends together to confront him in what might generously be called an intervention (and can we really hold her responsible for her complete lack of understanding of what an intervention is?). She . . . well, that’s about it, but what more could anyone ask of her? No, Aldo was doomed to die the moment he developed a romantic interest in Mary Worth. He should have known better. Nope, no need for guilt here.
Jen
March 9th, 2007 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

Ella is a little Yoda-esque. But unlike Ella, Yoda says interesting things. And Luke needs him. Mary doesn’t need anyone. And do we really need to read the second speech bubble in each panel? No. The more of these I read, the more I’m becoming convinced that the entire strip is a monologue by Mary’s ego. If anyone else happens to speak, the sound of her own awesomeness usually drowns them out. Or maybe what we read is what she thinks people are saying?
Dennis Jimenez
March 9th, 2007 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

I’ll never forget all the controversy when Mr. Wilson won that Olympic gold medal. Good times. Dynomite!
Joe
March 9th, 2007 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

This Dennis The Menace is effective because it allows the reader to imagine just what Dennis has done to incur Mr. Wilson’s afrocentric wrath. My guess? This is Dennis The Menace, so he probably just misplaced one of Mr. Wilson’s ties.
Dingo
March 9th, 2007 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

Josherino, I have to differ with you. In panel two, Mary is not showing “an apotheosis of smugness.” That’s biddy orgasm, man. Pure unadulterated biddy orgasm. You can smell the tuna casserole from here.
Hawkwoman
March 9th, 2007 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

A3G- In a TV soap mysterious trips and a reluctance to talk about “boring” business would mean Eric is a hitman or a married man, maybe both. Here it seems to mean that the writer can’t be bothered to come up with a good reason for him to miss this million dollar party but needs to show he’s an inconsitant jerk who puts boring business ahead of the feelings of cancer-ridden little girls and frightening party planners. Just what does Eric do anyway? Besides change his hair color?
The Other Commenter
March 9th, 2007 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

I would wonder if Dagwood has something else in mind when he talks of “seizing” a “chocolate eclair,” but he lives in the whitest town ever.
zqfmgb
March 9th, 2007 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

# 20- I thought the same thing about nancy’s pants… which neatly explains #11
Dingo
March 9th, 2007 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

Carpe eclairum!
Blondie
March 9th, 2007 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

#9: Why mentos?
Len
March 9th, 2007 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

Think, Jeremy. Were you ever bitten by a radioactive lunchroom lady?

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070309&name=Zits
Steve-O
March 9th, 2007 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

I have to say, Archie is actually relatable today. Most times the themes here are not relevant to anybody not living on the fifties, but that actually works. Draw a flattering pic of a babe, then ay is sucks compared to the real babe. Works every time.

I am a sad little man, aren’t I?
cheech wizard
March 9th, 2007 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

Archie, panel 3 – where is Nancy’s right hand???? Right where you think it is.
Hawkwoman
March 9th, 2007 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

MW- “I’m proactive by nature, Ella. I have to try to make things better.”
Can anyone think of a time Mary Worth made things better for anyone but herself?
Len
March 9th, 2007 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

Hey, Scaduto just doesn’t understand that new-fangled Picasso’s art. Ironically, the examples he gives aren’t very different from most everyday Scaduto art!

Cutting edge criticism of our 21st century foibles. (Where has Scaduto been living for the last century?)

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070309&name=TDIE
The Ray
March 9th, 2007 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

Correction, the greatest hero in American AND Vietnamese history.
Power of 1000 Lemons
March 9th, 2007 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

There is not a single thing you could say to convince that that Archie strip was originally written in English. “I told you he has a great style?” Although maybe it’s just supposed to be representative of the fragmented speech that occurs in Jughead’s dreams – he’s clearly asleep for the entire strip and yet somehow is walking around.
King Folderol
March 9th, 2007 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

Blondie – Dithers is so old that he thinks we’re still using the Julian Calendar and not the Gregorian Calendar…

No?

Dithers loves Garfield so much it’s always Monday in his heart.

No?

Damn this infernal Joke-Generating-Laugh Unit! I never should have bought something from a guy called “Jughead”.
Canard
March 9th, 2007 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

Check out Eric’s right hand in panel 1 — fleeing Margo because of her hideous claw would be like fleeing his own mangled self. Which may in fact be what he’s planning to do on that “boring business trip”. He’ll get cheapo Thai cosmetic surgery on his hand, and when he comes home, he’ll leave Margo with nothing to remember him by but the words “Go back to the circus, freak!”
King Folderol
March 9th, 2007 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

It occurs to me that the problem with Dennis is that he’s more annoying or irritating than menacing. This goes a long way toward explaining my disappointment with the strip, and how down I am about my entire life as a result.
Gg83
March 9th, 2007 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

Responding to Fizzy Logic at #289 on the last thread:

Get Fuzzy has actually given us a full-body shot of Pugspeare: Check out the third panel. It’s been confusing the heck out of me for quite a while, although I love the character. And does his belly button say “TX”?
Lynngineering
March 9th, 2007 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

#19 -Poteet: Exactly – if only A3G COULD maintain drawing the same basic, clip-art character for over a month.

The A3G second panel reminds me of that Seinfeld episode, where Jerry was with this beautiful woman, but then in the wrong angle she was so ugly she was freaking all his friends out.
Grandpas Dead
March 9th, 2007 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

Gg83, that’s not TX, that’s an upside down XL.
ObÃ©lix
March 9th, 2007 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

#41 – gG83 – I think his, er, garment is marked XL. Now the question is, why is he wearing it upside down?
fizzy logic
March 9th, 2007 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

#41 – Gg83 – I think it’s an upside-down XL, to go with our sweatshirt theory. It still is a funny looking thing, whatever it is he’s wearing.
Trotzenbonnie
March 9th, 2007 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

Archie – Yeeeaaaahhhh. Chuck Clashews is studying anatomy and painting the human form now but years from now he’ll be drawing pictures of Nancy with three eyes on one side of her head.
AJGLU 3000
March 9th, 2007 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

*Unit is not malfunctioning. Joke, as always, is Jughead’s hat. Dialog, as always, is randomly generated. Unit is performing to specs.*
Poteet
March 9th, 2007 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

# 42 — Lynngineering, this is embarrassing and results from my failure to indicate which strip was incurring my wrath at the moment. I meant to refer to the second panel in MW. Though the second panel of A3G is also highly annoying, partly because, as you point out, the protagonists look even ickier than usual.
Zikar
March 9th, 2007 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

MT: Poor Dan…I still wonder what could be so mushugening important that he’s willing to spend this last week underwater/in a cabin/taking nude pics of himself in Mark’s bed/wherever he is.

MW: Mary WORTH, REAL AMERICAN HERO! (sung to tune of GI Joe commercial) Though, I must admit, poor Stalkeroo was doomed the moment he clapped eyes upon the soulless husk of Mary Worth. He just didn’t know it yet. (pours out Johnny…here’s to you, Load Stalker.)

Phantom: HAHAHAHAHA!!! You see, blondie in the truck with Mozz is the only one to suffer Phantom’s wrath becuase everyone else is going to die from their own crushing ineptitude! That’s funny, right? Huzzah to you, Ghost-who-doesn’t-show-up-to-fight-crime-in-his-own-comic-strip.

Spiderman: After four days, Spidey finally decides to get off his Margoing rear end and do something. In other news, Mary stops meddling, B.C. becomes funny, and Pluggers become happy, well adjusted creatures.

JP: What happened to those French punk rock muggers/rapists/sidewalk artists? What about Cedric with his copyrighted Finger Point Action? Why must I watch one week of the little whiny red headed American complaining about not being told sooner?
Fred P.
March 9th, 2007 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

#34 Hawkwoman: “MW- â€œIâ€™m proactive by nature, Ella. I have to try to make things better.â€
Can anyone think of a time Mary Worth made things better for anyone but herself?”

Actually, yes I can think of a time when Mary made things better for someone else. That someone being me, when I laughed uproariously at her hand-clasping biddygasm due to Ella’s inanity. That was pretty sweet (note: snorting the milk out my nose wasn’t so swell, though). Still, Wilbur Weston she ain’t. That I’ll grant you.
Harold
March 9th, 2007 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

Now it can be revealed: the original dialogue from today’s Mary Worth!
http://anothermonkey.blogspot.com/2007/03/strictly-4-my-mudgez.html
(You’ll have to click on the image to get a version big enough to read.)

And I believe Mr. Dithers is having an Old Man Mozz-level mind(margo) with Dagwood, convincing him it’s Monday on a Friday.
MossMoses
March 9th, 2007 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

7. Non Shannon: Whose bust (or lack thereof) are you referring to? Mary “Mountains” Worth is actually quite busty. You’d realize this if you ever saw her with her shirt off. Her minimizer bra harnesses her breadfruit sized mammories so she ends up looking kind of flat with her shirt on. Ella is endowed with psychic powers but unendowed elsewhere.
Len
March 9th, 2007 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

To revive the thread about non-Anglo names…

I worked for a New York payroll agency and collected a few favorites.

The Spanish — RAMON ROMAN

The polysyllabic Hindu — SURENDRAKUMAR PATEL (I pointed out to a co-worker: “I’ll bet here is an instance of ‘a boy named Su’.”)

Another Hindu — NAGALINGAM JAYALINGAM (which roughly translates to “serpent phallus, victorious phallus”)
Trilobite
March 9th, 2007 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

Ella’s one of those old women who has reached the point where she feels showers are optional. Seriously, look at that limp mop of greasy hair clinging precariously to her withered little mummy-skull. You can easily imagine looking at her face and being able to discern all the sedimentary layers of makeup caking her wrinkled face, the globs of saliva and lipstick at the corners of her mouth, the eye-booger-and-mascara smears at the inner corners of her eyes. And the smell, dear god, the smell…some kind of cloying tea-rose perfume gone rancid, with an unmistakeable undertone of stale urine and sweat. Plus a hint of dirty cat litter, even though she hasn’t owned a housecat since the Carter administration.

So basically what I’m saying here is that since I’m already going to hate her for the utter crap she’s saying about how awesome Mary is, it’s nice that I can also hate her for being a smelly old hag.
RoboMax: Agent of C.U.R.M.U.D.G.E.O.N
March 9th, 2007 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

TDIET: I have to say, it takes alot of balls to insult Picasso when you’re the guy who writes “They’ll Do It Every Time”. That’s like a retarded, half-blind , homeless crack junkie writing a scathing slam on John Steinbeck.
RoboMax: Agent of C.U.R.M.U.D.G.E.O.N
March 9th, 2007 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

TDIET: I have to say, it takes alot of balls to insult Picasso when you’re the guy who writes “They’ll Do It Every Time”. That’s like a retarded, half-blind , homeless crack junkie writing a scathing slam on John Steinbeck.
Ham Gravy
March 9th, 2007 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

Say what you will about Archie’s clunky joke-writing machine, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with Archie’s Nancy’s-ass-drawing machine.
hydrogenguy
March 9th, 2007 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

Archie’s first panel demands to be read in a faux-Japanese voice.

“Chuck is making the drawings! Who can it be? Nancy! Chuck has the secret style!”
Kevin
March 9th, 2007 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

“With Aldo, you proactively caused his death! Don’t ever think about it again.”
winky
March 9th, 2007 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

actually, mary didn’t say â€œI saved Jeffâ€™s life!â€, she said “I helped to save Jeff’s life!” which is something only an advice-giving robot would say, not a retirement community advice-giving matron would ever utter. apparently the entire comics page is written by robots.
DaveyK
March 9th, 2007 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

Dennis understands that he does not have to run faster than Mr. Wilson, just faster than Joey. As such, it’s worth noting that Dennis has untied Joey’s shoelace.

Joey will, of course, trip and fall. His subsequent death and dismemberment at the hands of Mr. Wilson should disabuse everyone of the notion that Dennis has lost his menace.

That said, why Dennis thinks he needs to untie Joey’s shoelace to run faster than the bird-legged freak is another question.
Don, the Rebel Without a Blog
March 9th, 2007 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

Apotheosis? I didn’t see a plant anywhere.
Adjuster
March 9th, 2007 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

Speaking of hands, check out today’s Sally Forth. Either Ted’s been answering to inquisitors on the rack, or someone has sneakily broken into the Forth household and surgically replaced his already womanish hands with stretchy rubber replacements.
Gabe
March 9th, 2007 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

See, I’m disappointed that in SF, they’ve spent all week talking about Sally’s mom, but she’s NOT THERE, blissfully taking the piss out of their smug household. Sally Forthians should, when she’s not around ask “Where’s Mom? Why isn’t mom here?”

And again, she totally needs to visit, oh, Charterstone and Milborough.
True Fable
March 9th, 2007 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

9CLThe return of Father Durley and Sister Aramus! Well all right! I got hooked on this strip because of them.
DtMDennis, your playmate is Adolf the Younger Hitler, he of the zombie-like outstretched arms. Dude, you have SOooo much to learn about menacing from him. You suck.
FBoFW Try having some cheese with that whine.
MT Mark has a little kid named Rusty, and he didn’t bother to fence off an incredibly deep lake right outside his back door, that has logs and debris strewn around in the bottom of its murky depth. Psst! Rusty! Be a good kid or you’ll join the rest of the “debris”.
Don’t think that Right Fist O’ Justice is just used on adults.
RMMD Jeezus, Abbey just morphed into a hideous monster with nostril eyes on top of her head and a gaping tooth-filled cavity in her neck! Give her what she wants, for God’s sake!!
note to self: check expiration date on all yogurt in fridge.
MW Yes, Mary, your meddling powers helped save Jeff’s life! But then you brought him back to the smothering confines of Charterstone! Plus you are currently causing hundreds of Vietnamese youths to suffer because they have no *ahem!* DOCTOR to care for basic health needs! Plus you insulted Jeff’s doctor, who is now at the bottom of a bottle, questioning his ability to practice medicine if he cannot stand up against a meddling visitor who was not even a family member of the patient! Plus you know you FUCKED AROUND AND HELPED KILL ALDO! Don’t pat yourself too firmly on the back, bitch, we’re watching you.
Oh, and Ella… Jeff wants to meet you outside the Bum Boat in an hour. Come alone. And don’t make plans for the future.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
March 9th, 2007 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

You all may be interested to know that there are several real Mary Worths.

There’s one in Columbus, GA, who lives on “Wise” street.

It looks like the closest one to me is in Belmont, NY, in Allegany County in the western part of the state. (I live in Toronto.)
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
March 9th, 2007 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

That’s weird; a few minutes ago I found plenty of Mary Worths and now none are showing up. Does somebody out there not want us to find them?
Sheilagh
March 9th, 2007 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

Non Sequitur. Wiley is sometimes somewhat amusing — I like the pony, I hate the Maine accent — but WTF on this “political bestiary” thing? It’s SO lame I keep looking around for the crutches. Please will it stop soon?
Red Greenback
March 9th, 2007 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

Aha! I finally tied up the cold case of Grampa Jim shouting out “BOXCAR!” with a neat little bow. Jim basically got the heebie jeebies upon hearing Michael say how bitchin’ he is and his book is such a masterwork, that Jim needed a calmative. Grampa Jim was addressing his wife. Like saying “hit me” to a bartender, he needed his favorite drink made with gin, triple sec and egg whites. I can read him like a book!
And WTF ever happened to Weed’s party? Is Margo so behind on planning Eric’s party she still needs the food trough?
True Fable
March 9th, 2007 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

(DT)GT Aaeeeiii! It’s the Boy who was Carved from a Two by Four!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!
Note to self: check the expiration date on the cheese too.
Lockhorns Loretta, your husband should be the last person you complain to, about how little your johns leave in the envelope on the bedside table.
FW “…lying really makes my teeth peel”? Back off, Funky. Phrases like that belong to me. So does the occasional fabrication. Bitchboy.
Crankshaft Hooray! Crankshaft violated code by throwing an object out his window into traffic! Nail his ass to the wall, deputy!
H&J Oh crap, is H&J going to become one of those strips that well-meaning friends cut out of the paper and mail to me?
BC Okay, I liked BC today. No preaching, no screwed up history, no impossibly big breasted ants. Just a smile’s worth of humor, and that’s fine.
TDIET Are you kidding? The people in attendance look worse than the paintings. Oh…oh, THAT was the joke! Hahahaha…. meh.
cyberpersephone
March 9th, 2007 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

FC: the Family Circle family are Pluggers! This explains so much.
FW: I’m a little disturbed about Les’ attitude towards kids seeing as his job is working with and molding said kids.
“But Les, my children are lying psychopaths! Can’t you do something? You’re their teacher.”
“Aw, kids will be kids.”
fizzy logic
March 9th, 2007 at 8:19 pm [Reply]

Rex Morgan – I’m worried about Abbey the Wonderdog – that her intellectual and occupational capabilities aren’t being used to the fullest. Obviously she understands conversations completely – she’s just incapable of speaking (grrr – although it did look as though she was giving a statementto the “cops” the other day after she took Elvis down). She can get in and out of the house at will and disarm a perp. She is a scary little spaniel.

I’m sure she could juggle, write a novel better than Mike Patterson’s, do a samba, and cook an omlette too, if you asked her. So do they leave her at home all day watching TV? Snoozing in her little doggie bed? That’s what my dog does, but she can’t get out of an ajar door that opens towards her and barely understands “walkies”.

Abbey, I think you need to apply for gainful employment somewhere and take care of these people. You obviously have the highest IQ in the house.
Non-Shannon
March 9th, 2007 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

RMMD: It seems Abbey the Wonderdog has transformed into an R.O.U.S.* and will now proceed to viciously attack all life forms within 100 feet. Yikes.

*rodent of unusual size (Yes, they exist.)
TB Tabby
March 9th, 2007 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

Hey Mary, Mike Patterson just called. He says you need to get over yourself.
C-Diddy
March 9th, 2007 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

In response to the first comment, I have to throw out there that the most egregious reuse of panels I have ever seen goes to the right-wing comic State of the Union. In any given month, I believe about five of his comics are entirely recycled with different text. A couple of days ago there was a comic that I have seen used four times since the fall.

The C-Man
Red Greenback
March 9th, 2007 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

Another foob mystery solved: The prime rib was found by Mrs. Giant Insect in the Milborough landfill, and she’s serving it up to Mr. and Junior Giant Insect in today’s Slylock Fox.
Weasel Boy
March 9th, 2007 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

Check out Jughead in all three panels – heâ€™s so burned out by the white, middle-class unfunniness pervading Riverdale High that heâ€™s living out the remainder of his wretched existence in a Xanax-induced haze.
Poteet
March 9th, 2007 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

# 67 — Skullturf, I checked and found a number of Mary Worths. Then I searched the site for Poteet Canyon and my, um, pseudonym, and found out that the site doesn’t know anything about either of us, which is very gratifying.

# 72 — Fizzy logic, I so agree with you. Also, I suspect that Abbey the Wonderdog could be more attractively drawn, at least for the cute animal addicts among us, if the RMMD artist weren’t so obviously obsessed with June and her erotic gloriousness. Perhaps Abbey should put in for a transfer to another strip where she’d be more appreciated.
Poteet
March 9th, 2007 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

# 77 — Weasel Boy, you’re right! A tragic example of the misuse of prescription drugs by today’s youth. Or bad drawing.
Squid Countess
March 9th, 2007 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

I dreamt I was wearing a banana costume and Spiderman walked up and licked me. That’s not sexual, is it?
Red Greenback
March 9th, 2007 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

#78- Poteet- You gotta admit Abbey did make a nice Chrismas card. Represent!
monica
March 9th, 2007 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

An update for all .00000 people who still care: the who-replaces-daily-Foxtrot conundrum has finally been decided at the Philadelphia Inquirer!

After months of judging one lame comic against another lame comic, we’re to be rewarded with……….Pickles. I personally voted for Cow & Boy, but was much in the minority as thousands apparently called in for the aforementioned blandiocrity. **Sigh** I guess we get what we deserve.

My mood was considerably lightened, however, by the surprise announcement that Lio will make its Inky debut at the same time. HOORAY! (Sorry, Old Fogeyette).

Oh, and ps: Pugspeare has made my week. Where’d you guys find out that he’s wearing a sweatshirt? I’d assumed they were ladies’ tights. Forsooth, the Bark is naked without his tights.
kippetje2000
March 9th, 2007 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

Explain to me how the Family Circus family tree works so that Bil Keane is related to Little Orphan Annie. Maury Povich where are you when we need you?
Mr. Oâ€™Malley
March 9th, 2007 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

53. I once met an Indian whose given name was “Mahalingam”. Luckily the situation allowed me to call him Mr. Patel or whatever his surname was.
C-Diddy
March 9th, 2007 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

#80-It’s not sexual unless the banana was peeled.
kippetje2000
March 9th, 2007 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

They both suffer from that strange eye thing where their pupils are devoid of pigment.
Poteet
March 9th, 2007 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

# 81 — Red, I agree with you that the Abbey card was very nice. However, I don’t think the artist did all he could have done with the material because Abbey the Wonderdog really is much cuter in person, and her nose is actually a little shorter and her eyes are a little bigger and..um…pardon me, I think I’d better lie down for a bit.
Gabe
March 9th, 2007 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

Pickles has its moments. The one about the guy smashing his turn signal light out after following it on for hours on a mountain trail is one of my favorite comic moments.
monica
March 9th, 2007 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

Glad to hear it occasionally hits the mark, Gabe. Maybe it’ll grow on me, now that it has a secure spot.

And I suppose I shouldn’t bitch, because things could have turned out much, much worse – Mallard Fillmore was one of the competitors.
Islamorada Girl
March 9th, 2007 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

If Ella doesn’t wait until Mary’s back is turned to cosh Ye Olde Meddler’s white head in with a blunt instrument, I will be even more depressed than I already am.

Mary’s Pattersonian expression of smug self- satisfaction in panel 2 would convince even a Plugger jury to rule it justifiable homicide.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 9th, 2007 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

Word! to Mr Wilson!

Hey, was the site down all during the day, or is it just me? I got grumpy without the chance to get my mudge on. So I’ll be back in a few minutes with my impressions of today’s comicks.
queek
March 9th, 2007 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

78: I’m having a serious mental moment trying to figure out how Abby the Wonder Dog would fit into either Get Fuzzy, or Marmaduke.

more vodka, mule!
TurtleBoy
March 9th, 2007 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

#80 Squid Countess: you bring to mind a Real Genius line: “…Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?…”

At this time all sun-god[dess] robes are currently in use by Mary Worth, mistress of all that is good and light.
jvwalt
March 9th, 2007 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

Got Damn, Riverdale High has got some hoochie mamas! Betty, Veronica, and now this Nancy in her skintight sweater. Gives new meaning to the phrase “student body!” (Cue Ed McMahon laugh.)

The difference between Riverdale High and reality, of course, is that the hot chicks actually go out with the dumpy guys. Like, for instance, the nerd boys who draw cartoons for the student newspaper… oh… that explains it.
TurtleBoy
March 9th, 2007 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

Now I know this has been mentioned many times before, but what exactly is DtM’s Joey supposed to look like? [Insert interrobang] Some kind of gay skinhead Hitler youth refugee from an Ira Levin novel?
Heckler123
March 9th, 2007 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

Regarding Mary Worth – Now, let me get this straight. Doctor Jeff Corey is a medical d-o-c-t-o-r, right? And he was over in Vietnam to give medical help to children, right? So, I assume there were probably nurses, around. And, when he went to the hospital when he became ill, he was treated by…oh, I don’t know,,,, maybe doctors?

But apparently everyone in Vietnam was just running around bumping into rocks before Saint Mary got there. Because, even though all these other folks had medical degrees, it never occurred to them to give the proper treatment to Doctor Corey.

I could get into the impracticality of her travels to Asia, when it seems as though she accomplished all her miracles by placing a single phone call once she got there. I could point out that her wisdom and insight would only seem wise and insightful to a race of somewhat backward, microcephalic, drunken, chromosome-impaired jackals. I could point out that she and her minions were at least morally responsible for Aldo’s death. I could, but I won’t.

Sweet, dear, generous Mary Worth. How I loathe her.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 9th, 2007 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

RMMD: When “Detective” Ersatz McRacebait says “But the judge felt you…” that would have been the perfect opportunity for June to burst into tears, say “You’re letting a judge grope you? I thought we had something special!” and run out of the room.

BB: Judging from Cookie’s utter disregard for health and hygiene, I think he may have done Walter Reed duty.

9CL: Shit, I need to start hitting Catholic bookstores. They seem to be a goldmine for pickup techniques.

TDIET: How it is Dept! This fella Picasso is supposed to be a great artist, or so the swells say. But wha-a-a? He paints things so they don’t even look like they do in photos. And this nut Eliot writes what they call “poems”, BUT they don’t even rhyme! Oh yeah-h-h!
AhClem
March 9th, 2007 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

OK, my first attempt at a song parody. Be kind.

“The Ballad of the Charterstone Biddies”

Mary Worth, and Ella Byrd
Whose platitudes, are often heard.
Spewing forth, in monotone
The advice of Charterstone.

Withered boobs upon their chest
Concrete hair and leathery nest
One hundred men will come today
To get advice, and be on their way.

Kelrast wanted Maryâ€™s hand
But her posse took their stand.
All as one, they said â€œNo way!â€
And sent poor Aldo on his way.

Head hung low, the stalker ran,
To the booze mart, cash in hand.
With a fifth, he drove away
And on the rocks, he soon was splayed.

Back at home old Mary grieves,
Wracked with guilt, she falls to her knees.
But Ella says, â€œDonâ€™t worry, hon!
He deserved what you have done!â€

Mary beams, a grin so wide
Puffed out chest so filled with pride.
Happy sayings fill the air,
And biddygasms shake the chair.

Mary Worth, and Ella Byrd
Whose platitudes, are often heard.
Spewing forth, in monotone
The advice of Charterstone.
migellito
March 9th, 2007 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

dennis – perhaps the trumpet is incidental, and they actually just finished making a lampshade out of Wilson’s wife.
Poteet
March 9th, 2007 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

# 92 — Actually, queek, I confess I was thinking of MT. Abbey could be cuted up by Elrod and have a nice romance with Andy. And maybe she could rescue Molly or Theodore and Castoria. And she could retain her official position as Smarter Than The Humans. Of course in MT, that’s not saying much.
ohyes
March 9th, 2007 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

Crimebusters:

Dick Tracy, middle class drudge, devoting his life to helping the rich keep possession of their fanciful baubles.

Gil Thorp news team, scoping out the vital clue of a white car nearby. There’s always a white car nearby. Out my window, there’s a white car. Does that mean Tyler did it? Is he outside my apartment now? No, his sister has a white car! He would never ride in his sister’s car! Perfect alibi.
Max
March 9th, 2007 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

RMMD: Obviously the phony cop harassing Niki and the Morgans is really the dreaded Eightball in disguise, just waiting for a chance to kidnap Niki.

Well, it makes as much sense as Abbey the guard dog.
ohyes
March 9th, 2007 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

Crimebusters:

Abbey the Wonderdog just hates it when someone uses a consoling tone of voice to explain a child protection order. Grrrr!
andreavis
March 9th, 2007 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

#77 but Chuck and Nancy are persons of color!

http://www2.archiecomics.com/whos-who-in-riverdale/characters.html

Have their humorless years in Riverdale sucked the ethnicity out of them? Can they borrow some Xanax from Juggie?
ohyes
March 9th, 2007 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

Crimebusters:

Slylock Fox is so lewd again today. Man, that big guy so wants a piece of that serving wench. I want one of them miniskirted, smiling, serving wenches too.
superflippy
March 9th, 2007 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

Wow, Margo’s like the Terminator from Terminator 2! Observe in the second panel how she mimics Eric’s facial features precisely. Clearly, her hand is deformed in the third panel because she’s about to morph it into a spike and ram it through his mouth.
Red Greenback
March 9th, 2007 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

98-AhClem- Me likee! Is that the “Spider man” song?
RMMD: What’s got Abbey’s “spaniel-sense” tingling? Did she notice there are more of the cops footprints than Elvis’s footprints? Is the goldfish still alive? Does she smell the chocolate gun? Where can I go to get organic vaseline for my handlebars? Bark! Bark! Bark! is not an answer, girl!
BunnÃ«
March 9th, 2007 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

FOOB – Did anyone else notice that todays’ FOOB is basically a TDIET joke as told in the style of Lynn Johnston? Perhaps La Lynn is mining the TDIET archives for material?

If anything is a sign that it’s time to retire, that’s it.
fizzy logic
March 9th, 2007 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

#82 – monica – somebody in a previous thread mentioned that they thought he was wearing an upside-down sweatshirt instead of pants. However, Wikipedia makes no mention of the sweatshirt, they just call it pants – so who knows what funny little piece of clothing he’s wearing over his squiggly pug tail.
fizzy logic
March 9th, 2007 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

And we all know his name is really Shakespug, right? I feel bad for starting the whole Pugspeare thing – that was totally my bad and everyone’s just been indulging me (or making fun of me, I’m not sure which – probably both). I’d hate to give the little guy a complex.
Daisy
March 9th, 2007 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

I thought Shakespug’s outfit was a pair of tights, like an Elizabethan actor kinda thing…?
fizzy logic
March 9th, 2007 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

Too bad pugs don’t have a neck, they could have given him a little ruffly collar too.

What, too much?
Frinkenstein
March 9th, 2007 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

#25. Dingo. Jebus…Biddy orgasm! Shit. Tuna casserole. Dude, you’re killin’ me!
Red Greenback
March 9th, 2007 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

You’re a Shakesplugger if you…Shit!, my train of thought just got derailed…Gol-durnded combo of rheumatiz medsin and Zyban!
ComicsFan
March 9th, 2007 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

Scaduto “fans,” (if such things be) will like the March 3 “Tom the Dancing Bug”, one of his “Super Fun Pak Comix”. The feature on the right is “It’ll Happen Every Ding Dong Time.”

http://www.gocomics.com/tomthedancingbug/
TB Tabby
March 9th, 2007 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

115: We know. Aldo, Captain Kangaroo, yadda yadda…
fizzy logic
March 9th, 2007 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

#98 – AhClem – Bravo – Excellent! Pity that our regular parodists (?) don’t seem to be around tonight to appreciate your effort, but I’m sure they’ll be rightfully impressed when they check in.
ElSanto
March 9th, 2007 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

You know, a couple of days ago, I thought Ella in “Mary Worth” looked eerily familiar. Now I know who it is! She looks just like Dick Knubbler from Adult Swim’s Metalocalypse!

Dick Knubbler
Key Lime Pie
March 9th, 2007 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

I guess a purple shirtwaist dress is the collar for the new century…In Ella’s confessional, Mary gets away with murder and ends up, in the end, a saint.
Anne
March 9th, 2007 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

dear stinky pete: i love the millenial post moments.
Mr. Oâ€™Malley
March 9th, 2007 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

100. Comic strips better suited to Abbey the Wonder Dog’s intellectual capabilities:

Funky Wittgenstein
Hegel the Horrible
Lio Nardo
Leopold Bloom County
Mutt and Jefferson
Pearls Before Swinburne
Ivan Denisovitch the Menace
Slylock Volpone
Marcus Aurelius Trail
Pardon My Planetarium
The Brilliant Mind of Addison and Steele
Rossetti is Rossetti
Reepicheep-chan
March 9th, 2007 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

94) The hot girls go out with the dumpy guys because ALL the girls are hot girls. Ethel is, like, the ONLY female student at Riverdale who is not, like, a supermodel.
ColoZ
March 9th, 2007 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

It will be a very long time before I come up with something as good as “Funky Wittgenstein.”
Virginia
March 9th, 2007 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

Josh-you completely called out Mary Worth. It was so fantastic, I read it at work twice, then again at home, then sent the link to friends. It was my equivalent of the Mormon Bible.
Red Greenback
March 9th, 2007 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

Woweewowwow! I just noticed when I wake up for my morning wee-wee, and look at myself in the mirror,I look just like Loopina! But then after the shit, shower, shave and shampoo…Voila!, I look like my normal self…Don Knotts on Xanax.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 9th, 2007 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

I’m partial to “Slylock Volpone.” There’s too little Ben Jonson on the funny pages, dammit.
Frinkenstein
March 9th, 2007 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

121. How about Heidegger and Lois?
(David) Hume County?
(Shoe)penhauer?

OK, I was reaching on that last one.
Red Greenback
March 9th, 2007 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

#117-Yo, Fizz!- I gave props to AhClem…maybe I’m an irregular parodist. In that case, I’m going to start start on a strict regimen of fruits and grains.
yellojkt
March 9th, 2007 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

Heckler123 (#96) hit the nail on the head. Mary is some hero. She flies to Vietnam and makes a phone call. Big deal.
Meanwhile, if Ella could get a word in edgewise, she was announcing that she joined Biddies Without Borders and is going with Jeff back to Vietnam so he can have full-time meddlin’ care. Just in case he eats some bad cha gio again.
Poteet
March 9th, 2007 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

# 98 — AhClem, thanks for nicely reminding us of the truth about Smug Mary and Icky Ella. Spewing forth indeed.

# 121 — BWAHAHA! Mr.O’Malley, you are definitely a brilliant literate dog’s best friend.
Poteet
March 9th, 2007 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

Names — I was recently told about someone with the last name of Bacon who runs a crematorium.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
March 9th, 2007 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

#121 Mr O’Malley and #127 Frinkenstein –

The Locke-horns?
queek
March 10th, 2007 at 12:00 am [Reply]

100: Poteet, that is better than what my first impressions were. Second impressions were worse, was imagining Abby and Mooch fighting over the lil’ pink sock. *grrr*

Abby and Fungo dooking around together would be mighty cute, even if it would confuse Satchel and enrage Bucky. Marmaduke and the whole dominance mounting thing, not so much.
Trixie Belden
March 10th, 2007 at 12:09 am [Reply]

#121 Mr. O’Malley – that was wonderful! Perhaps Abbey the wonder dog would also feel more at home in her strip if it was renamed Oedipus Rex Morgan ?
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 10th, 2007 at 12:16 am [Reply]

#121 et al, how about Dick Tiresias, Sightless Detective?
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
March 10th, 2007 at 12:17 am [Reply]

I see the Funky Winkerbean guys are still digging a shallow grave in the rain. You know what would make this cartoon cheerier? If the captions were written by Nick Cave, that’s what.
Poteet
March 10th, 2007 at 12:18 am [Reply]

# 133 — HAR! Interesting images, queek, especially the li’l pink sock fight.

3/10

A3G — Upon seeing that Margo’s hair was down, my immediate instinctive reaction was terror.

RMMD — So Abbey likes Niki? That’s okay, girl, I know it’s not your fault — you’re stuck with the script you’ve got.

MW — Ella is a twig, Mary is thin. Great, they’ll be aboveground and meddling for decades.

MT — What a yawnfest. We want Molly! We want Molly! Or Theodore and Castoria! Or Andy! Some animal, please! Even a ginormous chipmunk or ubiquiduck would be an improvement!

It is kinda kewl how Mark can be in the water and up on dry land at the same time, though. And finally knowing how to do boldface is kewl also (thanks, gh)!
blase
March 10th, 2007 at 1:22 am [Reply]

RMMD: “What kind of dog is that?” indeed. From the closeup shown in Thursday’s strip, I’d guess it’s a Junkiehound with a bit of Poland China on the side .
fizzy logic
March 10th, 2007 at 1:25 am [Reply]

#128 – Red – Sorry – Didn’t mean to dis you my friend. You have some mad parody skilz as well!!!

I, of course, am simply a ridiculous 40 year old white woman who should not be talking like that under any circumstances.
Harold
March 10th, 2007 at 1:29 am [Reply]

3/10 Get Fuzzy – Holy crap! Bucky’s not the idiot he appears to be! As Satchel said, a jerk, but not a moron.

If anyone runs low on toilet paper, today’s Slylock Fox provides you with an alternative, as gh noted here:
http://joshreads.com/?p=980#comment-190708
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
March 10th, 2007 at 1:46 am [Reply]

You know what? This is actually a comment on Josh’s “Cartoon Violence” feature over at Wonkette…but since the bastards over there demand that you prove you’re worthy, I’m eschewing comments at that forum. Anyway, this cartoon that Josh eviscerates? Not noted: that’s gotta be the worse Hillary Clinton caricature I’ve ever seen. Were it not for context, I’d have no clue who that’s supposed to be.

Please note: scrolling further down the Cartoon Violence page will reveal images far more eyeball-searing than anything discussed here. Mary Worth as the goatse guy? Not as bad. Trust me.
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
March 10th, 2007 at 1:54 am [Reply]

Today’s FOOB features the best Apwil “roadside” quote ever: “I’m going crazy downstairs.”
MonkeyHawk
March 10th, 2007 at 2:01 am [Reply]

RMMD — Get a load of Niki’s ~~shit-eating~~ garage-cleaning grin in the last panel.

MW — Either Ella is shrinking (she’s shorter when she stands than when she’s sitting on the sofa) or Mary’s grown to about 6′5″ (not to mention her Ella-eye-level camel toe!
Nathaniel
March 10th, 2007 at 2:05 am [Reply]

Hm…

The Doonesbury Tales
Waiting For Aldo (or for old-school curmudgeons, Waiting For Pogo)
Zittgenstein
Moby Dick Tracy
A Brief History of They’ll Do It Every Time
Calvin and Hobbes

…wait a minute.
Randy S
March 10th, 2007 at 2:26 am [Reply]

There’s one small bright spot in Saturday’s Mary Worth, last panel.
To wit, Mary is reduced to merely hinting at a platitude rather than saying it outright, because Ella has beaten her to the punch.
Draktyr
March 10th, 2007 at 2:35 am [Reply]

yeah, but that bright spot is dimmed considerably, when one realizes Mary is in the throes of a smugasm.
Randy S
March 10th, 2007 at 2:43 am [Reply]

Mother Goethe and Grimm
Marx Trail
Kierkegarfield
Rhymes With Existentialism
The Brothers Marmadukov
Joshtradamus predicts
March 10th, 2007 at 2:55 am [Reply]

In the new millenium year of CC1K225! The great-grandclone of pre-timesâ€™ anatomist Gunther van Hagen and clever pencil artist Al Scaduto, Gunther von Scaduto, will resurrect his ancestorâ€™s daily â€˜humorousâ€™ strip â€œTheyâ€™ll Often Do It Everytimeâ€. In place of hand-drawn sketches, von Scaduto will specialize in plasticizing cadavers and posing them in scenarios suggested by his followers. Each day von Scadutowill unveil a T.O.D.I.E. episode in the lobby of the Museum of Science and Industry where they will reside for the rest of known time. The catalyst for the Great Galactic War I (the intergalactic war to end all wars) will be thought to be a result of von Scaduto â€˜s rejection of a suggestion from Zyvexia entitled â€œCharlie Chennux is king of living domicile but when the spawn begin to revolt, emperor is always locked in his â€˜throne roomâ€™.
Mibbitmaker
March 10th, 2007 at 3:15 am [Reply]

3/10:

FOOB: Oh, gawwwd, they’re back to the awful storyline about Michael the……Hey, waitaminnit! It’s actually funny and cool at the punchline! Not a bad week, mostly.

FW: Actual response to Holly was, “Yeah? Then why don’t you finish up all the domestic housework at the house, then come here to Montoni’s to settle in and then go to bed for the night? Then it’ll be the same thing!”

A3G: Really stretching out the ol’ “Three’s Company” innuendo there, aren’t you, Margo?

RMMD: Yeah, “someone” will. The “someone” being a judge, a child protective services functionary, or…maybe….. a meth lab kingpin, perhaps?

MW: “The less baggage, the better”. And with that, the strip bid(dy)s Aldo Kelrast a truly final “fuck you”. It’s (snff) beautiful, I tell ya…
Andrew
March 10th, 2007 at 3:27 am [Reply]

Did anyone see the Marvin from today where he’s sitting on his dad’s lap and his dad looks totally stoned and won’t stop looking at the “camera?” Even in the second panel, when he’s clearly talking to his son, he stares with those soulless Garfield-ian half-closed eyes directly at the reader.

I hate Marvin.
Mr. Oâ€™Malley
March 10th, 2007 at 3:30 am [Reply]

Two references to Ben Jonson on the same day! And a couple of days ago there were two references to Rabelais. How long since either of these authors were previously mentioned around here?

I’m enjoying all the suggestions for intellectual comics.
Mr. Oâ€™Malley
March 10th, 2007 at 4:03 am [Reply]

either … was if you prefer
Trilobite
March 10th, 2007 at 4:20 am [Reply]

3/10:

Josh, you totally called it with A3G: Eric and Margo just went home and humped the bejesus out of each other. The power of their lovemaking was enough to knock Margo’s hair loose!

Everyone, do yourselves a favor, imagine that in that strip, both Eric and Margo are naked from the waist down.

Well, actually, you’d be doing me a favor if you imagined that, because then I wouldn’t be suffering alone.
AD
March 10th, 2007 at 4:22 am [Reply]

A3G: In that second panel, Eric is TOTALLY ogling her cans.
Red Greenback
March 10th, 2007 at 4:22 am [Reply]

On the Roadside
Fear and Loathing in Santa Royale
The Scadutic Verses
The Jughead of Paris

…I may be pissing up a rope here, I just wanna play with the big kids!
Red Greenback
March 10th, 2007 at 4:45 am [Reply]

#139-fizzy- We cool! As a matter of fact, “a ridiculous 40 year old white woman” is what came up for a mate on my compatibility profile at pertectmatch.com
kippetje2000
March 10th, 2007 at 4:45 am [Reply]

The Flying Katzenjammer Kids
Red Greenback
March 10th, 2007 at 4:45 am [Reply]

#139-fizzy- We cool! As a matter of fact, “a ridiculous 40 year old white woman” is what came up for a mate on my compatibility profile at perfectmatch.com
kippetje2000
March 10th, 2007 at 4:57 am [Reply]

The Crankshaft Redemption
Mein Crock
The Keansey Report
Quotations From Chairman Momma Zedong
Curtis in the Rye
Red Greenback
March 10th, 2007 at 5:01 am [Reply]

Bark of the Dagwood
kippetje2000
March 10th, 2007 at 5:18 am [Reply]

1980 For Better or Worse
The Prime of Miss Margo Magee
A Death in the Family Circus
To Kill A Mallard Fillmore
Catch-3G
Red Greenback
March 10th, 2007 at 5:18 am [Reply]

kippetje2000- It looks like we are the last ‘mudges standing. …So, how’s tricks? …Yeah, me too. Oh. how is that thing going?…That’s great!, glad to hear it!…Me? well, you know the old saying “Keep on Keepin’ on”…yeah…uh huh…okie dokie then, …yeah, nice talking to you, too…Later.
kippetje2000
March 10th, 2007 at 5:20 am [Reply]

Some of the best things are said in the wee hours. And then said again by someone else in the afternoon.
Jym Dyer
March 10th, 2007 at 5:41 am [Reply]

=64= SF (Gabe): In enjoy what Ted Forth has become, but when will Sally have a say in all this? Isn’t that the whole pretext of the strip???

=78= RMMD (Poteet): Sorry, my vote goes to June. There are already plenty adorable animals in the comics, not so much erotic gloriousness.

=80= Spiderman (Squid Countess): Was it a long and drawn-out lick that took weeks?

=85= Ibid. (C-Diddy): Do you mean sex a-peel?

=150= Marvin (Andrew): Isn’t every character in that strip perpetually stoned?
The Avocado Avenger
March 10th, 2007 at 6:47 am [Reply]

#82 Monica – someone on LJ said that it looked like Shakespug was in someone’s upside-down sweatshirt, and I mentioned that the other day. I think that might be where the theory came from. Since the “XL” tag is upside-down, whatever he’s wearing has to be upside-down, too.

I have half a mind to email the Darbster and ask. Well, if I knew his email.
Coffeeclash
March 10th, 2007 at 7:19 am [Reply]

MT – Mark has been out of the water for three hours and is still wet. Sally must be spraying those fake tears through a hose.

MW – If Mary really believed in “no baggage,” what reason would there be to meddle?

RMMD – What kind of dog is that? Wonder, just Wonder. Abbey does it again; on to the New Hampshire Primary.

A3G – Who knew that Margo couldn’t defy gravity?

(DT)GT – Yeah, that will throw off suspicion, Brynna. Right.
Calico
March 10th, 2007 at 7:51 am [Reply]

DtM – now who exactly got the slop all over Dad’s tie? I need to know ASAP so I can award points properly.

Blondie – whew, Dagwood, you got out of cleaning your own garage at home in favor of washing windows.
I wonder if all the food replaces sex for Dag.
True Fable
March 10th, 2007 at 8:18 am [Reply]

A3G Margo wants to [margo] you, Eric. Please do the world a favor and do her. Look, her hair’s down and everything.
9CL Sister Aramus wants to [margo] you, Father Durley. Please do yourself both a favor and do her. Look, she’s wrapped around you twice and everything.
C(MD) Cathy, [margo] you and not in the Curmudgeonly meaning either. Please do the world a favor and die. Look, I ain’t tellin’ you twice.
Fried Froid w/ Squid
March 10th, 2007 at 8:29 am [Reply]

#41 – Pugspeare’s pants lettering

I’m surprised no one’s picked up on it yet. It’s Hebrew – Knaf Alef. I don’t think it’s actually a word, but in numerals it means 301.
True Fable
March 10th, 2007 at 8:38 am [Reply]

JP Way to go, Abbey. You just gave the kid every reason in the world to feed sickly Aunt Rachel rat poison. And who wants to bet those two French thugs are listening in and plan to hold them for ransom? Serves you right, Motormouth.
MW Did Mary get reduction surgery or do women just deflate with age?
DT The Case of the Shrinking Cell Phone.
FBoFW Geez, Elly, you just don’t want the poor kid to EVER be free of you assholes, do you? She can’t even daydream about cutting out without you threatening to follow along.
RMMD Why, she’s a Wonder Dog, officer! She does your job, my job, Rex’s job, and everyone else’s job for them! We need to send her to Charterstone and maybe, just maybe, she’ll shame Mary into accepting blame.
That’s a big dog You know, I used to own 2 Great Danes, and I really liked them. But ever since I started reading Marmaduke again, I’m glad I don’t still have them. I’m afraid they’d sense my “damn, I hate that big dog comic strip” vibe and be sad, and that wouldn’t be fair. But I DO hate that big dog comic strip. Just sayin’.
Archie You know, Mr. Lodge….you don’t have to let them enter your home or let them stay if they sneak in. Throw them out, stupid.
S4th Can’t help but notice that the smug smirk of self-congratulations has been absent from Sally all week. Personally, I LOVE it when Sally’s mother visits. Sally can’t smirk and we never have to see the smirk of the woman who spawned her, either.
H&J I suppose it’s not fitting for a family strip, if the minister said in the last panel, “If you negatively criticize this restaurant, I’ll break your fucking legs and lop off your balls with a machete.” It works faster than platitudes. He gets paid to judge, but he’s only got one set of legs and balls.
willethompson
March 10th, 2007 at 8:43 am [Reply]

FOOB: Preener of Moles pointed it out earlier, but April’s ‘Going Crazy Downstairs’ is 4Evah&Eva’s cover of the Janis Joplin cover of Blind Lemon Chitlin’s 1932 blues song. Elly’s “Can I Come?” was more of a cry for help.

RMMD: There’s a new sheriff in town, and her name is Abbey. She single-handedly (singlepawdedly?) got the drop on Elvis, filled out the arrest paperwork, changes the oil on the cruiser and stood down a quasi-legal effort to protect Niki’s ass from from a questionable application of habeus corpus. Well played, Officer Flatfoot! I’m sure a ‘Hot Donuts’ sign has flicked on somewhere.

But the knowing smile exchanged between our favorite sea-star-headed waif and the MILF of the month means that there will be a shining, clean garage for months to come at Casa Morgana.
Fried Froid w/ Squid
March 10th, 2007 at 8:50 am [Reply]

RMMD – I thought June said, “A French Brittany seeing a little German Shepherd on the side.”

FOOB – I thought it was April saying “I’m going crazy downstairs” with Elly replying “can I come too?”

Shoot me now people… shoot me now.
monica
March 10th, 2007 at 9:05 am [Reply]

Fizzy Logic (109) & Avocado Avenger (165), thanks for clearing that up. All I can say is, thank god for the Curmudgeon! It’s so nice to know that I’m not the only one who’s been puzzled by that tiny detail.

Oh, and Fizzy, I like your “Pugspeare” better! Shakespug’s great too, but very abrupt.
John C Fremont
March 10th, 2007 at 9:13 am [Reply]

Just caught up with comics after a few days – no time to catch up on all the comments yet… so forgive me if I’m repeating anyone, but Mary Worth has GOT to stop wearing those slacks! Eww! Didn’t she used to wear sensible, old lady dresses in the 50’s? Sheesh! Oh, and Krazy Kat (# 15) if you make good on your threat, I will arrange for an air-tight alibi, assuming I’m still in the good graces of the Iowa/Nebraska chapter of the Mafia, Local 316.

Oh, A3G – Margo in love? Aww… (Has anyone done a “Tammy’s In Love” song parody yet? I would if I were talented enough, and not already late for work. Again.)

JP – Nothing really to say, I just enjoy saying Abbey and Neddy. Abbey and Neddy. Aarrgggh… (channelling Homer Simpson). But I do hope that those 70’s punks stay away. They were harshin’ my buzz.

And I’m happy that Abby The Wonder Dog is getting some German Shepherd on the side. And if it makes you happy, it can’t be that ba-a-aa-a-ad.
Squid Countess
March 10th, 2007 at 9:15 am [Reply]

#147 Randy S. – Rhymes With Existentialism Bwahahaha! As they say on another message board, I am very interested in your views and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
SPQ129
March 10th, 2007 at 9:19 am [Reply]

Jimmy Johnson has noticed that A&J is always ignored and is begging to get the full curmudgeon treatment. http://www.comics.com/comics/arlonjanis/index.html
Dean Booth
March 10th, 2007 at 9:44 am [Reply]

#66 Skulturf — According to How Many of Me, there are

* 118 people in the U.S. named Mary Worth
* 15 Jeff Coreys
* 59 Gary Dents
* 18 Mark Trails
* 3,644 Michael Pattersons

etc.
Cockblocker
March 10th, 2007 at 10:03 am [Reply]

Andy Capp 3/10: As the Monty Python sketch suggests, Hitler IS alive and hiding in England! Unfortunately, all identification is obscured, so we can only go by the infamous moustache and HitlerHair. His dissatisfied look at us in the last panel seems to indicate his disappointment in the Capps as a married couple, prohaps for their lack of proliferating the master race. I knew years of reading Andy Capp would bear some modest reward…
LennyDonkey
March 10th, 2007 at 10:10 am [Reply]

A week of digging mud holes in the rain…that’s what must pass for “fun” in the Funky Winkerbean-verse.
stinky pete
March 10th, 2007 at 10:10 am [Reply]

178; I think you’re mistaken. That’s clearly Mr. Hilter of the National Bocialist party.
Harold
March 10th, 2007 at 10:20 am [Reply]

The 3/10 edition of Alternative Dialogue Mary Worth is posted.
http://anothermonkey.blogspot.com/2007/03/more-mary-mules.html
Mary’s moment of self-doubt, glimpsed briefly yesterday, has dissolved into anger and defensiveness…and a sinister warning to the departing Ella Byrd! Will Ella meet the same fate as poor Aldo? Are all who cross Mary’s path doomed?
MossMoses
March 10th, 2007 at 10:32 am [Reply]

I’ve been at it over three hours, Mark. That’s three hours since you came out of the water and you’re still dripping. How do you do that?

Ella sure is smug about Mary Worth ditching her emotional baggage. She summarily absolves her of Aldo guilt as though she were a Catholic priest. I realize Ella’s clairvoyant but I thought her role was to help people see their higher truths, not play God herself. Am I missing some higher truth here?
MossMoses
March 10th, 2007 at 10:41 am [Reply]

Abbey is a French Brittany – Shepherd mix? Why is she drawn exactly like a Brittany Spaniel in every detail, including the cropped tail? There is nothing whatsoever in how she’s drawn that remotely resembles a German Shepherd in any way. Maybe she just inherited the guard dog ‘tude…
april glaspie
March 10th, 2007 at 10:45 am [Reply]

Look. I know this isn’t political. Or politic.But lying outright is lying. Unless you’re lying about sex, and there was already a special prosecutor investigating a $5000 land deal who said there was no there, there. But that was the guy that said all those guys HW pardoned were criminals.

OK This mockery of Mark Trail has to stop. This is a true Amurrican that undoubtedly got six deferments because he had other priorities but thinks itâ€™s fine to slag people that serfved honorably and screw over those that serve now. But hell, Saddam flew planes into the WTT, right? What, this isn’t about Dickless? Shouldn’t he get a pardon from Mr. mDeath House?

Mark Trail’s haircut stands next to Gil Thorp’s in the eternal war on Terr. Only slightly behind behind the Cheney combover.

They make up the comics. And they’re stupid about it. And if you’re following Mary Worth, they’re flaming racists. But Holy Shite, does anybody need a government that acts like it’s one of the creators? Or thinks they talk to Him personally and gets really bad advice?
Fried Froid w/ Squid
March 10th, 2007 at 10:51 am [Reply]

#75 –

State of the Union is like…

…Mallard Fillmore without a duck. Same old stale neo-con kneejerk ramblings about liberals.
Foobar
March 10th, 2007 at 10:54 am [Reply]

Get thee to a cockpittery.
SPQ129
March 10th, 2007 at 11:16 am [Reply]

#163 My vote for COTW
Buck Ripsnort
March 10th, 2007 at 11:20 am [Reply]

A3G: Soooo, sex turns Margo into Marilyn Quayle?
Fred P.
March 10th, 2007 at 11:23 am [Reply]

-96 Heckler123 says regarding Mary Worth:

“I could point out that her wisdom and insight would only seem wise and insightful to a race of somewhat backward, microcephalic, drunken, chromosome-impaired jackals.”

You mean the Family Circus crew, right?
Old Fogeyette
March 10th, 2007 at 11:25 am [Reply]

So much brilliant snarking and commentating in the hours since I shut down, sat in the jacuzzi, went to bed, woke up, gave the cats their medicine, and downed a whole pot of coffee. Just to hit the high spots:

#51 #181 Harold: GREAT MW dialogue. Yes, I’m sure that’s what it was supposed to be. Please keep it up!

#92 Monica: Pickles is actually harmless most of the time, and worth a smile often. But maybe that’s just me, on account of being older than dirt. Good luck with Lio. I’m still trying to not hate it. I’m okay on days with the squid. Other days, I have to let my eyes just slide over it.

#98 AhClem: very nice!

#121 Mr. O’Malley: Love it! (And also all those who have added to it)

MW Ella’s platitude today really made my teeth peel. Mary’s response made me want to vomit. Mr. Fogeyette looked over in frank amazement as I emitted strange gurgling noises. He thought it had to do with the horoscope.
Lynngineering
March 10th, 2007 at 11:33 am [Reply]

#48 Poteet – I just came back to the comments to see we crossed on the ’second-panels’. Maybe there is a second-panel conspiracy in the works and we accidentally bumped into it.
queek
March 10th, 2007 at 11:34 am [Reply]

98, that was a wonderful parody. I never have good luck getting that song out of my head, and now it will be even more difficult.

Arlo and Janis have given us our motto. *snikker*

Rhymes with Orange today shows us two of the thugs from the Phantom, and explains how they started their careers that are about to lead to a sticky end on the bottom of an elephants foot.

Mother Goose and Grim made me want to tear my eyes out, but I’m glad that I didn’t, due to JP’s panel 2 and 3 today. ” le rrowr-rrowr!”
Uncle Lumpy
March 10th, 2007 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

I’m guessing Mary’s trip to Vietnam and Abbey’s and Neddy’s to Paris were arranged so Karen Moy and Woody Wilson can take tax deductions for their vacations last year.

I wonder if Lynn Johnston deducts her trips to the mall?

Lovely treatment of a Paris Metro by Eduardo Barreto in JP panel 2.
Uncle Lumpy
March 10th, 2007 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

Argh – “Paris Metro station.”
Trilobite
March 10th, 2007 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

#189- FredP replies to Heckler123’s comment about ‘a race of somewhat backward, microcephalic, drunken, chromosome-impaired jackals’ with the question “You mean the Family Circus crew, right?”

Fred, in what universe could any member of the Family Circus be considered microcephalic?
The Porridge Bird
March 10th, 2007 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

Blondie: I love how Mr Dithers has to actually point at his Latin.
SmartPeopleOnIce
March 10th, 2007 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

#30 (Blondie) It’s like Fats Waller said (and, now that I think about it, pretty much any of my math profs): Son, if I have to explain it, ya ain’t never gonna understand…

#80 (Squidy) Only if you inked.

#98 (AhClem) Snarf! Now we need someone to do a Team America parody (Mary Worth, [MARGO] YEAH!)…

In other news:

A3G …and that man’s name is Paul Prudhomme.
Len
March 10th, 2007 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

As the top of the image of today’s (3/10) Dennis strip came up on my computer screen, I saw Henry’s head of hair and the fruit, and thought, “Cool! the Mitchell’s are entertaining Carmen Miranda.”

Look at the food on the Casa Mitchell dinner table. Dennis has a chicken leg, Alice’s looks like meatloaf, and Henry’s din-din looks like a steak. Leftovers AGAIN?

My dad was a cab driver, so I don’t recall too many times that he wore a tie, but even for an office drone, Henry — take your tie off before eating dinner!

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070310&name=Dennis_The_Menace
willethompson
March 10th, 2007 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

#177 Dean Booth – I went to the “How Many of Me” website and was distressed to discover that there are none of me. Either the Galactic Emperor Chennux has deleted me from the Earther database late Friday and is planning to take me out Mon AM, or the Patriot Act is once again being misapplied and I am goi
stinky pete
March 10th, 2007 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

199 wille, 177 Dean, I went and was even more distressed to discover there are 4 of me. Now I feel I should take out one of those “responsible for my debts only” classified ads.
MonkeyHawk
March 10th, 2007 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

#199 — willethompson wrote:

“…Galactic Emperor Chennux has deleted me from the Earther database late Friday and is planning to take me out Mon AM…”

Waitaminute. You’re telling me Chennux doesn’t work weekends?! What am I paying my tax-potatoes for?
Pozzo
March 10th, 2007 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

Seeing Archie reminds me that whenever I’m in a quandary, I like to look at my “WWJD” bracelet and ask myself, “What Would Jughead Do?” Granted, the answer is usually “Have a hamburger and then take a nap,” but really, when is that ever bad advice?
Dr. Shrinker
March 10th, 2007 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

WHY aren’t the guys in FW getting wet? Or even mildly annoyed by the fact that they’re working outdoors in the RAIN in WINTER??? No one comments on the incessant downpour? No one complains? No one gets WET???

And then they hose off the shovels? Why does this bother me more than all the limbless, cancer-ridden sacks of gloom that usually fill the space?
fizzy logic
March 10th, 2007 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

#203 – Dr. Shrinker – If you didn’t work outside in the rain in Winter in Seattle, you’d never go outside and nothing would ever get done from, oh, say, Mid-October through Early May. (I know they’re not in Seattle, I’m just saying some of us are not so lucky to live near sunny Santa Royale. And I know other parts of the country have much crappier weather patterns – I’m just saying Rain Happens).

#199 wille, #200 stinky – I went there and there is exactly one of me. So now I’m all smug like Mary. Unless that one isn’t me, it’s someone else. Actually, there was exactly one of me before I got married – there are plenty of me post-marriage. It’s all very confusing, that site.
Anonymous
March 10th, 2007 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

#203 (Dr. Shrinker) There was a swingin’ tune posted here a few days back addressing the meterological anomalies of FW.
Dennis Jimenez
March 10th, 2007 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

SF – Oh come on, Ted. Surely a hand gesture like that is reserved for something bigger than jalpano poppers at TGIF – perhaps a revival of Cats! is playing in town.

MW – Platitude alert – out with the old bagage, and the old bag, too.

Blondie – Dag should have stuck around – perhaps a little garage cleaning might have been in the cards.
dreadedcandiru2
March 10th, 2007 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

Foob – So Elly’s one big happy family isn’t so happy after all, eh? Five’l get ya ten that THIS is the only thing the old bat’s gonna do about it.
Frank Drackman
March 10th, 2007 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

I want to Bee-otch slap MW!!…YOU saved his life?? Don’t thank the Cong doctor and nurses who work for pennies a day to save your great white boyfriend. All you did was interfere with their work..and I’d like you to know whenever a doc consults another doc at a family members request..we spend the first 5 minutes talkin about what dumbasses patients and families in general are..till we agree to make some superficial changes in therapy that don’t make any difference anyway..but make the family happy..If a Doc ever says hes gonna check your “serum Porcelyn” level..youre bein scammed…Why can’t MW get cancer instead of whoever that is in Funky Winkerbean..ARGHHHHHHHHH
Mike
March 10th, 2007 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

143 – Just as Ian’s wife has become “Toeby,” perhaps we now, after today’s unfortunate illustration of her crotch, can call our favorite meddler “Dromedary Worth.”
Dingo
March 10th, 2007 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

fizzy logic got me a-thinkin’ and…

Smug Like Mary
to the tune of ‘I’m Just Wild About Harry’

I’m just smug just like Mary
And Mary’s smug with such glee
The heavenly bliss is meddlin’, miss!
It fills her with ecstasy
Her role is the buttinski
The perfect role for her, see?
Oh, she’s our meddlin’ Mary
And smugness fits to a tee

(instrumental: Poteet on banjo, Frank Drankman on hosephonium, willethompson on tuba, and AppleGirl tapping a tambourine against her leg)

Now death to you might be scary
From its cold clutches some flee
But it’s a sweet repast
For men such as Kelrast
First base t’was all he’d need
The liquor store sold the bottle
Yet they’ve no fear nor alarm
If relatives sued they would be imbued
Pretend you were visiting ‘Nam!
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
March 10th, 2007 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

#177 Dean Booth et seq. — That “How many of me” site thinks that nobody in the U.S. has my first name. It isn’t true, of course — I know of a couple in my field, who you can read about here and here.

Also, regarding today’s Pluggers: You’re a plugger if your wife has to “bait” her own “hook.”
andreavis
March 10th, 2007 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

A3G– you know, I’ve only been looking at this strip since I found this site, and I’ve never seen Margo’s hair down before. Surely this is secret code for “Margo got [Margo]ed?” Eric, you’re playing with fire, buddy.

FW– so Funky and Les have moved the action into the garage. Thanks to RMMD and Josh, that’s now a punchline. BaZING!
Dick, the doorbell
March 10th, 2007 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

I usually stay out of the FBOFW fray, but my lack of God:

3,644 Michael Pattersons in the US?

I’m now stockpiling food and ammo against the day Darth Elly broadcasts Order 66.

Be very afraid.
Frank Drackman
March 10th, 2007 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

Why does Margo look 150 yrs old in that middle panel?? That “Nancy” in the Archie strip looks like the porn I used to draw in 5th grade..
Uncle Lumpy
March 10th, 2007 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

#214 Frank -

I bet the porn you draw now is awesome!
reader-who-posts
March 10th, 2007 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

Vacation Euro-snark!

MW: Mary thinking of saving Jeff looks just like that old cartoon dog who would get a treat and as part of his “yummy” reaction would hop up and float down like a feather. In other words, not exactly a believable reaction.

A3G: Thinking of Margo and Eric having sex, the term “bumping uglies” has never been so appropriate.

Blondie: I was wondering how he could finish the ‘rest’ of an entire eclair.

Ok, so
Remus - (A Tater Tot Man)
March 10th, 2007 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

Thoughts on Fridayâ€™s comics:

Curtis took his hat off.
Papa Keane could pretty conveniently dig a hole right now and plow that particular load under.
FW: WTF is teeth peeling?
Scadutoâ€™s renderings of Cubism areâ€¦.well, fascinating interpretations. I think Iâ€™ve come full circle from being completely mystified by Scadutoâ€™s style and verbiage to being, well, dare I sayâ€¦respectful? Respectful in the way that I am respectful of the crazy old man down the block with the junked yard and pit bulls that sometimes sits in his yard in a mildewed lawn chair with 3-5 40s of Hurricane lined up and hollers belligerently at passersby. Yet his apparent complete isolation form the world and uniqueness of style are charming in an odd way. (Scaduto, not my neighbor.)

Saturday:

Apt 3G: Holy crap, Margo with her hair down. Rooowwr.
BB: General Halftrack sometimes calls his wife by the wrong name when liquored up? This is interesting. What name does he call her? What is Miss Buxleyâ€™s first name anyway?
Crankshaft: Lamest non-visual story line ever. As always, Josh nailed it. But when Batuik finally does break out some graphics on us of the â€˜bus drivers meeting hallâ€™ or whatever that is, look at the bus drivers (come to think of it, they should make a Travolta/Alley movie called â€œLook Whoâ€™s one of the Bus Driversâ€). Apparently Mr. Montoni does a bus route before he opens the parlor.
RMMD: Now Abbey has managed to single-handedly defeat city child welfare bureaucracy as well as roust a gun toting criminal. Goddamn, that is a wonder dog.
dreadedcandiru2
March 10th, 2007 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

FOOB- So, Elly isn’t enjoying her one big happy family anymore, eh? I betcha this’ll be all she does about it.
queek
March 10th, 2007 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

216, the proper term is “smiting evil”

(or at least it is for fans of a certain web-comic.)
Tats
March 10th, 2007 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

Man, Mary Worth is built like a linebacker.
Dingo
March 10th, 2007 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

I’ve never had an alpha mom on my route

Hmm… So, um…, am I the only person on here who wants to run his/her hand over that chest, gliding a finger precariously against his stubbly cheek and, while removing his baseball cap, state, “What have you had on your route? And do you want it again? Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…” Eh? Eh?

Damn. That reads like Margo after a fifth of hootch.
Steve S
March 10th, 2007 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

Chuck really does have great drawing style, to a freakish level. In terms of the Archie universe, he can draw with 100% photorealism. His drawing appears to be an exact copy of the “actual” Nancy. Now that’s talent!
UncleJeff
March 10th, 2007 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

FW: “I got the message”????? Maybe Holly’s the reason they’ve spent the past few panels digging that grave in the rain!!!!!
King Folderol
March 10th, 2007 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

MW – Mary’s not being self-righteous…she’s holding back the alien inside her cold, cold heart that controls every move she makes.
Lambchop
March 10th, 2007 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

Today I came to the realization that Margo is getting more ampersand-dollarsign-dollarsign than I am. Is there a support group for that?
Pendragon
March 10th, 2007 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

#225 – You’re at the support group for that.
Dingo
March 10th, 2007 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

Tips mug o’ Guiness to #226 Pendragon.
Randy S
March 10th, 2007 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

222 — Spot on, but still it doesn’t hurt to toss off the compliment he gives the “real” Nancy, because no matter how 100% realistic his drawing is, my guess it wouldn’t be capable of the reaction he gets in panel 2.
(At least I assume this to be the case. I can’t say I’m an expert on the ins and outs of the Archie universe)
Primate
March 10th, 2007 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

Every time I have logged onto the Curmudgeon this week, I am distracted by the newest COTW, which appears at first glance to say: “Brad’s black balls don’t do much for me.” And every time, once I finish giggling, I think “I guess Cornwhacker is reading a VERY DIFFERENT version of Luann than I am.”
Selena
March 10th, 2007 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

RMMD – Abbey really is a wonder dog. I’m wondering why a trained police officer would just give up because a dog growled at him? Besides, I thought she hated Niki for introducing Sarah to HBO. She should be herding him into that police car and out of her life.

# 226 – Amen to that.
Fried Froid w/ Squid
March 10th, 2007 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

Boy, I hope that’s what Nancy looks like when she gets to high school. Then she’ll be as hot as her Aunt Fritzi!

However, Sluggo will look exactly like Jughead.
Ukulele Ike
March 10th, 2007 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

Too bad Chuck and his secret neo-realistic style didn’t get as far down as Nancy’s enourmous rack (see panel #2).
Jym Dyer
March 10th, 2007 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

=v= DtM: Black Power Mr. Wilson intruded in my dreams last night. It was like Party At Ground Zero.

=203= FW (Dr. Shrinker): What bugs me is the statement, earlier this week, about needing a manual for being a stepfather. Clearly he hasn’t bothered to even look for one — I found 3 of them in the local chain bookstore.

=214= Archie (Frank Drackman): Did your drawings got back? Because Nancy apparently ain’t.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 10th, 2007 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

Things I learned in the comics today:

MW: Mary is a sociopath. And male from the neck down.

DtM: Mr. Mitchell wears a tie at dinner, even if there’s no wedding reception going on. Idiot.

JP: Neddy has no idea where St. Moritz is. Her poor little head is about to burst.

MG&G: Mother Goose & Grim still sucks.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 10th, 2007 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

#221, not to bring down your Crankshaft fantasy, but I think his answer would be, “Rum, tequila, scotch. Once I took four muscle relaxers before one drive. God, I love having a brother at te DMV!”
rich
March 11th, 2007 at 12:02 am [Reply]

Josh — “an apotheosis of smugness” — HAR!

Today’s MW — What a happy ending! “Thank you, Ella, for helping me put aside the ‘baggage’ of that slightly obsessive fellow my friends and I drove to suicide with our incompetent, possibly illegal ‘intervention’! Ah — it feels so good to ‘move on’!”
rich
March 11th, 2007 at 12:11 am [Reply]

212 — I agree, andreavis, I can’t remember Margo with her hair down, either. And that Katherine Harris/Patricia Heaton thing isn’t working for me at all. This is not my image of Ms. Margo Magee. They should give her a stylishly shorter cut — or bring back the bun!
Francis
March 11th, 2007 at 12:25 am [Reply]

Ella seems strangely amoral. “Don’t bother feeling guilt! Guilt is for the weak!” Perhaps she’s really Ayn Rand, having faked her death and taken an assumed name.
A Tree Falling In The Forest
March 11th, 2007 at 1:21 am [Reply]

.
MonkeyHawk
March 11th, 2007 at 1:46 am [Reply]

#239 –

Huh?
Francis
March 11th, 2007 at 3:16 am [Reply]

Mark Trail this week seems to be hung up on logs and debris. I decided to try to take this to its logical conclusion.
Ed Minchau
March 11th, 2007 at 3:34 am [Reply]

Today’s Broomhilda is an awesome self-referential black hole of comicdom, which threatens to devour itself in a swirling vortex. Well, we can hope.
Tats
March 11th, 2007 at 3:53 am [Reply]

I personally like Margo with her hair down. She looks like Ms. Kitka!

(Bonus points and cookies for those who get the ref.)
Randy S
March 11th, 2007 at 4:30 am [Reply]

Broomhilda still exists? Amazing.
kippetje2000
March 11th, 2007 at 6:09 am [Reply]

I know it’s early and most of you are still snuggling with your significant others a little longer before going out to the front porch or logging on to see Sunday’s funnies. I’m sorry for this but I can’t hold it in any longer, I have to say it, I get to be the first to say it, and I might open my window and shout it to the heavens. Shaving The Sheets will keep this thread going foreva! The next Tee Shirt Idea! â€œI shave the fuzzy little balls offâ€ And Pater Pattersonâ€™s spit take is nothing compared to mine. This is Sunday Lynn, for christâ€™s sake.
Kid’s, little kid’s are going to see this. And I, for once, applaud you.
willethompson
March 11th, 2007 at 7:19 am [Reply]

Holy flurpin’ snurtz! kippetje2000 is right! March 11th is “The Best Comics Ever!” Sunday!!!!!

Curtis: Curtis’s balloon horse does a Barbero and Gunk’s balloon man KILLS HIM and then commits suidice by shooting himself! Suicide!!!

RMMD: A shout out to the Brittany Spears debacle?? Isn’t “Brittany* Rescue” another name for post-head-shaving intervention??? (*Of course it’s misspelled, that’s how they snuck it through…)

A3G: Tommie’s blank stare and pursed lips mean she’s been replaced by a blow-up sexual surrogate with ‘realistic sucking action.’ Which is fitting, somehow.

Garfield: Dead and buried? Dare I deam the dream??

FOOB!: Not only is Elly shaving off fuzzy little balls (Watch out, Michael! She has a Gilette Fusion!!), but she’s shaving HER privates! Publically!!! (Must…stop…typing…)
Vince M.
March 11th, 2007 at 7:42 am [Reply]

243: Kitka – what a charming acronym.
I recognized the ‘Batman-the Movie’ reference immediately – I don’t think I should be too happy about that.
ohyes
March 11th, 2007 at 9:00 am [Reply]

Sunday FOOB:

Lynn: “And it’s totally my private business why that tattoo says, “Railroad Property.”
FREE HOWARD NOW
March 11th, 2007 at 9:10 am [Reply]

240: I didn’t hear anything, but I wasn’t there at the time.
Amanda
March 11th, 2007 at 9:10 am [Reply]

I for one can’t wait to hear Dennis’ Louis Armstrong impression.
Calico
March 11th, 2007 at 9:38 am [Reply]

FOOB – Hey, Elly – Landing Strip or completely bare? I’ll bet April could teach you some patterns too.
I’ll bet this is the news o’ the week in Foobborough.
Sadly there is no direct reference to beavers.
MW – last panel – I can hear the John Horner schmaltz playing in the background now. Ugh.
Blah, blah, blah.
Of course Mary will find a new subletter-she can’t help herself! Must be that “proactive” nature of hers.
DtM – Brownies, eh, Henry? That should mellow out George enough to tolerate the Menace for 1 eve, especially when you fall asleep after 45 minutes of having eaten one or two. +1 point for Dad Mitchell.
Pinback65
March 11th, 2007 at 9:41 am [Reply]

Slylock Fox–It’s nothing but a blur of indistinct lines on my monitor, but it appears ten-year-old Meagan Ingals sent in a drawing of Max Mouse holding Slylock’s severed head.

Foob–Not that I’ve ever shaved my fuzzy little balls, but I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t go “SCRITTTT SCRITTT SCRITTT”.

Mutts–Dammit, that’s just plain adorable!
Calico
March 11th, 2007 at 9:47 am [Reply]

#246 – did you perhaps mean something other than Publically?

#238 – Officer Barbrady, help!

#239 – yes.
stinky pete
March 11th, 2007 at 10:07 am [Reply]

Here’s some excerpts from a Letter to the Editor from today’s St. Louis Post Dispatch, which you might find interesting for what it says about the dilemma of newspapers in the Internet age:

____________________________
Every year we ask the same questions: Who the $#@* says that some comics are “stale, past their prime or are just not funny anymore”? Has the paper received a deluge of complaints? I doubt it. Who is the arbiter of funny? Some “comics” are not meant to be funny. They are narrative, serial stories that many of us have been enjoying for years.

These pages do not need to be “fresh” to satisfy those who look forward to them every day. Many people buy the paper only for the sports, local news and comics, discarding the national news and editorial pages for the leftist tripe that they are. The Post-Dispatch seems to be chasing a demographic that already gets its news from other sources and never will come over to print media. At the same time, the paper continually insults the ever-dwindling core of loyal subscribers who have kept it afloat over all these years.

By limiting the voting to the Internet, the Post-Dispatch effectively has shut out much of the group that would pose a threat to the comics cleansing. The Post-Dispatch should abuse them at its own peril, lest they kick the paper out, “Survivor” style.
____________________________

Note too, how much better Margo! Saturn! Boxcar! works compared to “$#@*”.
John C Fremont
March 11th, 2007 at 10:26 am [Reply]

A3G – Two, count them, two Tommy bobblehead panels!

Foob – God help me, I laughed at today’s strip. I was not previously aware that I had sold my soul, but…

MT – What’s with all the elephant hating?

MW – Love that final panel! At long last, love!

RMMD – In the third panel, is June wearing a loin cloth?

MF – I have gone a full month Mallard Fillmore free! I’m sleeping better, and I’m beginning to feel better about myself and the world as a whole. I heartily recommend all Americans consider deleting MF from your lives. Oh, and you’re welcome.

SF – Right, it has to be the frog, ’cause frogs don’t have hair. On the other hand, beavers and anteaters (or whatever the hell that middle critter is) are known for the long, luxurious hair on the top of their heads – no, forget it! I’m not going to waste me time ranting about Slylock Fox. I hate Slylock Fox and his six differences and sloppy detective work. Although, if that elephant in the first panel would go all Mark Trail Elephant and start tossing Slylock and Max around like rag dolls (Oooo, I hate that Max!) well, that would be pretty cool. I guess. Or not.

JP – It’s just impossible for me to read the French punks’ dialogue without doing it as Pepe le Pew or, if you prefer, Chevalier. But I still hate them, because they’re going to be mean to Abbey and Neddy. That damned Cedric isn’t gonna show up to save the day, is he?
Plinko Commie
March 11th, 2007 at 10:31 am [Reply]

Okay, so I’m not alone. FOOB was funny today. Or at least extremely inappropriate. Which is the best we can hope for, right?
Saxman
March 11th, 2007 at 10:49 am [Reply]

A3G

In this Sunday’s strip, its the next mornin g and we’re back at A3G, with a (more than usually) smug Margo talking to Tommy.

What about Lu Ann, so for all we know is collapsed in a linseed oil-induced hallucinogenic coma? Wasn’t the whole point of Margo going to “the other apartment” to see if Lu Ann is OK?

Boxcar Saturn, Margo is the worst rescuer ever!
Old Fogeyette
March 11th, 2007 at 11:03 am [Reply]

LOL Alert! Check out today’s Brewster Rockit!

http://www.uclick.com/client/wpc/tmrkt/
Calico
March 11th, 2007 at 11:03 am [Reply]

“Margo-you’re up early.”
“You’re up early, Margo.”
“You’re unusually calm.”
Since when did HAL the computer become involved in this strip?
Buck Ripsnort
March 11th, 2007 at 11:04 am [Reply]

Sunday A3G: Nice to see Margo’s confused by Daylight Savings Time too!
Pinback65
March 11th, 2007 at 11:08 am [Reply]

255–Actually, all comics are enhanced if you read the dialogue in Pepe Le Pew’s voice. When I imagine Eric telling Margo he will “pierce her with ze ack-ack of love,” it just makes me happy. Too happy, probably.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 11th, 2007 at 11:12 am [Reply]

#246, et al,
So, John Patterson thinks his wife is shaving her vagina. (And that the kids and daughter-in-law have already seen it, God help us all.) So when the initial shock is over, he’ll probably decide to test it out tonight by extenging a finger, or something. By the time he realizes she didn’t do anything “down there” they’ll be deep into…

Lalala. Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts!
Ribinin
March 11th, 2007 at 11:16 am [Reply]

#257 – Actually, the point of going was to make sure that Eric wasn’t there. Once she found that out, who cares about toxic fumes?!
compass rose
March 11th, 2007 at 11:26 am [Reply]

3/11
Two excellent things:
MW – Mary and Ella are wearing their lavender Biddy Club uniforms (But maybe they need red hats).

MT – Eating, drinking, and trashing the place; it’s an elephant frat party.
The peasant in panel five forgot his line: “aiiiiEEEEEEeeee!”
MossMoses
March 11th, 2007 at 11:42 am [Reply]

Why would Myrna entrust Mary Worth so casually to rent her unit? Why wouldn’t she contact a real estate agent instead of having the resident meddling biddy, whom she hardly knows, do it for her at the last moment?
joshreads CC1Kâ„¢ Compliance Director
March 11th, 2007 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

Even though it’s Sunday, your Compliance Director has been working his fingers to the boner to protect you from the horror that will be pouring through your broadband connection, a hot molten fudge of virus evil drizzled on the banana split of your motherboard, if you don’t get into compliance, and damn soon. I’ll bet you haven’t even reset the microwave clock for Daylight Savings Time, have you, Mr/Ms Spring Forward Only To Fall Back On Your Loathsome Spotty Behind!? I’ll bet it caught you the way a Hockey-Mask-Wearing Axe Murderer catches horny teens at the abandoned amusement park, their pants at the knees and their breath reeking of Southern Comfort as he covers the remains with grated Romano and onion sprinkles!

The Joshapolypse in no laughing matter!! There’s stuff in the Blog of Joshua (Pope Fruhlinger Revised Edition) that would sear your eyeballs and make you want to perform a DIY lobotomy with a bricklayer’s trowel and an ice fishing augur, and I quote:

“And the Uncle who was Lumpy didst open up the Blog of Josh and I beheld creatures great in snark, the Dingo Bear, the Mole Preener, the MonkeyHawk, the Maker of Mibbets, the Lynngineer, a pile of StinkyPeteMossMoses, The Verifier of Fables, Calico, Tater Tots, Poteet, gh, Logic of Fizzy and legions without number. Most powerful was The Enumerator of Squid, whose presence could end a thread in its fulness. ‘Crappeth thy pants in fear!’ said the Uncle who was Lumpy, as he released them upon the pages that were funny.

“And, lo, how they feasted! Parkers were Judged and found wanting, and Marys were made Worthless, and Morgans were Wrexed, and the Betters were Worsted! Dennis was Menaced, Thorps were Gilled and Tracys were Dicked! Trails were Marked with the sign of Cain! And the others were MargoBoxcarSaturned until the cows came home!”

Thus end the reading of the Thread of Josh.

Only 17 more shopping posts until CC1K!!
Buzz Sawyer
March 11th, 2007 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

I had to shave my fuzzy balls once, before a minor surgical procedure. I’m glad I wasn’t in the Patterson household where everyone gets to see. Unfortunately Mrs. Sawyer didn’t want to see them either until the procedure was a certified success, by then the boys were fuzzy again.
Dennis Jimenez
March 11th, 2007 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

FBOFW – I was thinking it was a set up for some kind of teabagging joke, but I heard that Doc P doesn’t have any hair on his balls – and maybe no balls at all! Well, that’s what I heard.
rich
March 11th, 2007 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

243: Ms. Kitka was okay…but she was no Julie Newmar. (Or another favorite from that era — Diana Rigg. Mrrroowww!)
Harold
March 11th, 2007 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

268 Dennis J – That’s Joseph Goebbels you’re thinking of.
Edgy DC
March 12th, 2007 at 11:19 am [Reply]

I haven’t read Archie in two happy decades, so it took me two days to say, “Wait a minute, Chuck ain’t white.”
Dave
March 12th, 2007 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

99

Mrs Wilson was last heard saying, “This one time … at band camp …”
Edgy DC
March 12th, 2007 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

It’s like he’s just Reggie, except he has a tapered haircut, and seeming a dump in his pants.
takeme!
March 13th, 2007 at 11:06 am [Reply]

Archie 3/9/07 The secret is how did they get Bettie Page into Riverdale High without Reggie finding out. I thought he was the swordsman of the strip.
Gamal
March 4th, 2010 at 6:42 am [Reply]

This blog is very informative and thanks for the updates and the blog colour and desiging is very beautiful after seeing this u must be a creative man.
I am from Bosnia and now study English, tell me right I wrote the following sentence: “No name of fine has been used during video therapy in surgical editions, paxil.”

Thank you so much for your future answers ;-). Gamal.

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