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Dr. Drew: The man who doctored too much

Mary Worth, 4/13/11

Speaking of sparks, the ones that were going off between Dr. Drew and Liza have pretty much burned out, if the way she’s staring at the bottom of her glass in panel one and her slack, heavy-lidded expression in panel two are any indication. Drew, we established hours ago that Liza thinks that both medicine and caring about her job are for chumps, so let’s can the “Oooh, being a doctor is so rewarding” blah blah, shall we?

Beetle Bailey, 4/13/11

Not going to lie to you: after seeing Otto wearing his uniform (or the underclothes he wears beneath his uniform) all the time, this strip kind of shocked me, since it read as full-on nudity.

Pluggers, 4/13/11

Sometimes pluggers have to rent out their work vehicle to school bus fetishists for orgies, just to make ends meet.

363 responses to “Dr. Drew: The man who doctored too much”

  1. Dood
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    Is Liza suggesting that Moy and Giella aren’t getting along?

  2. Karmyn
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    Not surprised that the Plugger drives the short bus.

    FW It seems Darren and whats her name are moving back to Westview. Why, man, why? You got away. You were safe.

  3. pugfuggly
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    MW: “…speaking of sparks, it looks like that candle lit his tie on fire….not that I’m going to tell the smug bastard….”

    BB: And that method is more of a time-saver than a hose?

  4. Dood
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    You’d think plugger dog would be excited as hell over hump day.

  5. Mark B
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    MT: Apparently, no explanation of how Mark was talking to Rusty one second and is physically there immediately after with no transition. Rusty, the phone call is coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE! No explanation of why Cherry is having lunch with Patrick Stewart, either.

    Cherry: “Mark, who’s Lonnie?”
    Mark: “Well, She’s …”
    Cherry: “SHE?!!?!

  6. Mark B
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    Given Liza’s rather freakishly small head and long neck in frame one, it’s no surprize she has a short attention span.

  7. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    Snuffy Smith and Knoxville News Sentinel — The Prodigal Smith Returns (Bad news for Brevity and Argyle Sweater fans!)

    http://blogs.knoxnews.com/editor/2011/04/snuffy-smiths-return-triggers.shtml

  8. But What Do I Know?
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    RMMD — Just help me out–who is talking to Rex in panel 3? That is his head, isn’t it?

    SM — It’s not JJJ Peter hates worse than a root canal, it’s getting off the couch and going to work . . .

    Luann — Oh, for Chrissakes, just “accidently” rip the darn cake dress where it can’t be fixed quickly and wear something else. Insoluble dilemma–solved!

    MT — I guess Cherry’s going to assume Lonnie is a woman for tomorrow’s strip, but really, why wouldn’t you think it could be a man’s name too.

  9. Anonymous
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    JP: Watch as Abbey Specer slowly transforms into “Wolf Woman” as she recalls her earlier days of wanton rutting.

  10. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    Nancy — I always thought “Ferlin Husky” (or “Huskey”) sounded like a character from My Cage:

    http://www.top-country-songs.com/images/ferlin-husky.jpg

    Barney & Clyde — Unlike his target demographic, Ronald McDonald is too smart to eat at Mickey D’s:

    http://www.thenazareneway.com/vegetarian/ronald.jpg

  11. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    Rip Haywire — TNT’s skull mask is a nice touch:

    http://comics.com/rip_haywire/

    Soup to Nutz — Televangelists reap what you sow!

    Pickles — Opal’s saving her apology for when Earl discovers the melted chocolate bar she left on his seat. (Hershey Squirts, my ass!)

  12. Evan
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    So school bus drivers drive their busses to work? And home again? Like a company car? ‘Coz I’m pretty sure they don’t.

  13. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    squee killed yesterthread.

    I knew it was going to happen.

    *sad puppy eyes*

  14. Austria
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    BC: You know, this looks a little like one of those “Hidden Pictures” puzzles you find in Highlights magazine or whatever. The bat is a fish.

    BB: Any strip where Otto is stripped of his dignity and subjected to humiliating and painful punishment is a good strip as far as I’m concerned.

    Curtis: Mutilated monkey meat, dirty turdy birdy feet…

    reFOOB: Connie, I know too many people like you. That is not a good thing. Stop it.

    FW: Everybody make sure to notice the picture of Lisa in the background, right between Summer and Darin, because we all have to remember what brought them together was CANCER CANCER CANCER

    MG&G: Don’t put politics in a strip that’s not political in nature. That’s what political cartoons are for.

    Pruggs: Oh geeeeeeeezzzzzz you don’t SAY that nowadays

  15. Esther Blodgett
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    MT: Somehow Mark manages to extol Lonnie’s virtues without ever mentioning her sex, and Cherry insists that Mark invite his new friend for a visit. When the MomJeaned One arrives at the door and says “Hi, I’m Lonnie,” Cherry whispers to Mark, “You never told me your friend was one of those drag queens!”

    MW: Uh-oh, looks like Drew is sucking the life force out of Liza. At the end of the evening he’ll stride out of the restaurant whistling a jaunty tune, while the busboy cleans up the pile of dusty crumbs that used to be his date.

  16. Digger
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    BB: Doesn’t holding your dog out a car window so he can be blasted in the face with soapy water constitute animal cruelty? Also, the General’s going to be a little annoyed that his upholstery got soaked.

    MW: Well, this was the fastest Mary Worth plot ever. Liza likes Drew, goes on a date, and then learns he’s a tiresome windbag. Next!

  17. Esther Blodgett
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#13): ‘Twas the platypus what did it. Sneaky devils, them.

  18. Dood
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    Judge Parker: “I lived in the library learning all about Camaros, GTOs, Corvettes and Road Runners. And you know what? They all had headlights! Big, round, beautiful headlights … “

  19. TheDiva
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    MW: “Speaking of sparks…I wonder if it would hurt much if I killed myself by jamming my fork into the light socket over there….”

    Pluggers: The Pluggers/Crankshaft crossover isn’t everything I hoped it would be. I mean, where’s the God-awful, convoluted mangling of English?

    9CL: Oh come on, like that was any more incomprehensible than the rest of the stuff that came out of his mouth.

    FW: “Speaking of, where’s your guest room?”

    MT: “Lonnie? Who’s this Lonnie tramp?” *dumps coffee in his lap*

  20. Little Guy
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    BB: When I asked for Miss Buxley in a car wash joke with full frontal nudity, I didn’t know I’d be monkeypaw’d.

  21. Michael
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    I think Liza is going to light him on fire, she was checking how much pure grain alcohol was left in the glass

  22. Cooler King
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    @Evan (#12): Maybe it’s some sort of deep social commentary on the state of America, implying that you’re a plugger if you have to borrow your school bus to get back and forth to work since you can’t afford to replace the fuel pump on your 1989 Buick Skylark because the damn budget cuts mean your insurance stopped covering your bird-wife’s scaly foot prescription.

    Or maybe the writer just couldn’t think of what sort of vehicle to draw for a plumber.

  23. Scott Bot
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    Ok, I could swear they had an new Snorgtees girl up there. Oh, well, she’ll pop up soon.

    Anyway, snark time…

    DT – Going from incomprehensibility to fan service in a month? I’m liking the new direction of the strip.

    FW – ‘Until they get sick of us and kick us out.’ Well, that covers the first couple hours of your stay, what you gonna do about the rest of the time?

    JP – GTO’s and Road Runners? How old she, anyway? I’m 47, and cars like that were already becoming collectors items when I was in high school.

    MT – ‘Lonnie put a bandage on it. It was pretty cool, it had Dora on it and everything!’

    PMP – I hear this from my therapist all the time.

    Pluggers – Uh, no. You don’t get to drive the school bus home. Doing that would likely involve complaints from the neighbors at best; visits from your local law enforcement personnel at worst.

  24. Doug Puthoff
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    4-12: BB–I hope somebody from PETA reads this strip, protests, and forces the end of BEETLE BAILEY. Then we can have a strip worth reading.

  25. pugfuggly
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    ****************************
    A3G QUIZ OF THE WEEK!!!!
    ****************************

    In what is sure to be a SHOCKING PLOT TWIST in tomorrow’s strip (or perhaps sometime next week, as they tend to draw these things out), Trey will reveal his incredible PROPOSAL that will be sure to change the lives of Margo and her roommates forever. Or not. Probably not. Anyhow, this week’s question is…

    What object is Trey holding just out of frame that will explain what he “plans to do”?

    Is it:

    (A) A sex toy too perverse to be mentioned on a public website, intimating that he’s tired of their ‘vanilla S&M’ and wants to kick it up a notch?

    (B) An architect’s drawing tube containing a design that would make Margo’s gallery as warm and cozy as a ‘blue igloo’.

    (C) A wedding ring, …you know what? Forget it, it isn’t that.

    (D) Nothing. He is too bland and uncreative to actually think of anything. He will eventually confess that he was hoping to trick Margo into telling him what she wants him to do, as he has no idea, and is terrified of making the wrong choice.

    (E) We’ll never know. Tomorrow’s strip will follow up on whatever stupid thing Luann is up to, and this whole storyline will be dropped without ever being mentioned again.

    Place your bets now, or add your own options….

  26. Sequitur
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Popeye: Olive must not be wearing panties.

  27. zenvelo
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Between showing Mr Wilkins always saying that smoking helps him relax, and Curtis demanding junk food, Curtis is becoming a shill for those opposed to healthy living.

  28. Doctor Handsome
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    @Evan (#12): My grandpa used to drive a school bus, and no, they don’t let you keep the bus.

  29. Mustang
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    MW -Oh really Liza? Sparks? Are you sure? Because Dr. Drew is acting like he’d as soon be diagnosing his thirtieth case of ear infection for the day as making small talk with you at the restaurant my grandma used to take me to in the 70s.

  30. Phred22
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    @But What Do I Know? (#8): SM:Peter’s home life isn’t that bad. I see no evidence MJ has banished him to the couch from the bed.

  31. Scott Bot
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    Pluggers – Either someone didn’t do the research, or Reuben Kincaid changed the Partridge Family bus back to yellow and is driving around picking up kids in his spare time.

  32. Chip Whittle
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: Is it wrong of me to look forward to a long, hot night of Margo smacking Trey across the face until he gets a second expression?

    The Better Half: “I want to smell like the inside of Donald Trump’s wallet! I love the odor of crazy people!”

    Family Circus: “Grandma didn’t send me a check, she sent me REAL money! I never even knew Grampa Munster was on the five-dollar bill before!”

    Hazel is a tiny bit late in hopping on the CB Radio craze. Or, for a legacy strip, it’s early.

    Judge Parker: You can see Mom there trying to decide whether Sophie’s still endearing enough to help or obnoxious enough to drop in a well. It’s a tough call.

    Mark Trail: Oh, thank goodness the dog piped up with some dialogue. It’s been so long since squirrels or geese or raccoons carried the plot along I was worried the strip was in decline.

  33. Doctor Handsome
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    “Where’s the money, Otto? Where’s the fucking money, asshole?! Gimme the fucking money, man!!”

  34. Little Old Me
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    I like the little ribbed cuffs on Phantom’s onesie. Looks just like my toddler’s jammies – except that she doesn’t wear her diaper on the outside.

  35. Edgy DC
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    “What’s the point of dating a doctor,” Liza thinks, “when even in this empty restaurant where the nearest fellow patrons are 47 feet away, we get a 14 inch table barely wide enough to line up the salt and pepper on either side of the napkin dispenser?” If anything is dulling her spark, it’s Drew’s knee between her thighs.

  36. janietta
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    MW: I guess my mind is in a different gutter from everyone else’s. I thought Liza was eyeing Drew’s crotch. A very different and far squidgier gutter.

  37. Esther Blodgett
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#28): His name wasn’t Ed, by any chance? Fond of malapropisms and bad puns?

  38. Sequitur
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#28): You are correct. Around here each school district has a “bus barn” where the busses are stored (some school districts share a bus barn). The drivers go to the bus barn, have a meeting, get their busses and do their job. When they’re done they go back to the bus barn, drop off their bus and drive home in their own vehicle. However, Crankshaft seems to have his own bus at home yet goes to a common area to meet with the other drivers. Crankshaft sucks.

  39. word-doctor
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    DtM-Joey is puzzled: “The only reason to COMMUNICATE with females is to advise them on fashion, decorating, or relationships. This ‘talk’ seems to imply a dance of the sexes, something which seems alien to me.”

  40. Captain Plaid Pants
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    FW: “Until they get sick of us and kick us out.” Um, I think you mean: “Until we get sick and are relocated to a Hospice center.”

  41. Scott Bot
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    @janietta (#36): Nope, I noticed that, too. I was just waiting for my coffee deprived brain to think of something funny to say about it.

  42. seismic-2
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    In my school days, the bus drivers did in fact keep their buses parked at home. This was in a small town where lots of the kids came to school from way out in the country. It made more sense for the bus drivers (many of whom also lived out in the sticks) to drive the bus from their homes to the end of the route and pick up kids on the way into town. If the bus had been parked in town overnight, then they would almost have to double the mileage by driving from town out to the end of the route and then back into town again. The school district couldn’t afford the gas (at the outrageous 27 cents per gallon it cost then), and they certainly couldn’t afford a parking lot for housing the buses.

    God, I’m a Plugger’s Plugger. Pardon me while I go lie down in front of a speeding school bus.

  43. Cormac828
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    MW – Speaking of Sparks, that brought to mind their 1974 hit, “This Town Ain’t Big for Both of Us”. (Hmm… was that a hit in the States?)

  44. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: So high-level financial advisors who use their BMWs to drive to work, go to out-of-office meetings, and drive home again are Pluggers? Possible. It would certainly go far in explaining the various melt-downs.

  45. Comcis Fan
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    MW: Yeah-yeah, born to it, sparks, uh-huh … what? Did you say “something inside of me that never leaves?”

    FW: Summer increasingly resembles Jerry Lewis in “The Nutty Professor.”

    S4th: Funny.

    Blondie: There must be some real funny in the water over at Blondie Inc.

    H&L: Trixie prepares to fertilize the garden.

    DtM: The question remains, will Dennis become Leroy Lockhorn and marry Margaret or Ted Forth/Bil Keane/Dr. Duncan/Darryl McPherson and marry Gina? The way his parents treat him, my money’s on Margaret.

  46. Karmyn
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    My mother drove a bus for 12 years and kept her bus at home. Other drivers who lived out in the country did as well, but most were kept at the bus barn. Just depended on convience really.

  47. Effluvius Erratus
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    A3G: Pimp hand, activate!

    FC: Oh, Billy, haven’t you learned in homeschool that fiat money is worthless?

    GT: I like how Paris is physically steadying himself in panel 3 by firmly placing his hands on his knees and leaning against a wall. I imagine that after the 6th inning Gil told him, “Steady yourself, son!” and Paris, confusing the offhand comment for actual coaching, took it too literally.

    MT: “And Lonnie cleaned my shirt and she made me these things called “panqueques” that are like pancakes but Spanishy and Lonnie has a cute little daughter who’s not at all hideous and Lnnnie knows all the cheat codes for Contra, or was it that Otto cheated Contras and that’s why he lived on the island? I can’t remember…anyway, Lonnie wears momjeans but she totally pulls it off and when her hair gets in her face she crosses her eyes in the cutest way and goes ‘foof!’ to blow it out of her face…”

    Marmaduke: Okay, I laughed, but only because my giant dog hates crows too.

    MW: “Speaking of sparks…I’d like to set this smug asshole on fire…”

    SF: I hope that Ralph’s and Jackie’s business is a massive success and that they’re happy together doing something they love and that it sends Sally on a downward spiral of despair when she realizes that she sacrificed all her hopes and dreams to marry a man-child and a raise a daughter who will probably never leave home.

  48. Tagged
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    NS: From Beiber to Gaga, when does the madness stop?

  49. S. Stout
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    MW: What kind of fancy restaurant has a napkin dispenser on the table?

    BB: Halftrack’s star is so ashamed to be on such a worthless colonel it’s literally jumping off his uniform.

  50. Ed Dravecky
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    Sarge isn’t bathing Otto at the car wash. He paid extra for the hot wax and is trying to neuter him.

  51. Cloudbuster
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    9CL: Brooke had to use “Alpha Dog” and “Red Stoat” because the syndicate wouldn’t accept “bitch” and “weasel.”

  52. MapDark
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    9cl : FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MCELDOWNEY! Nobody freakin’ talks like that!

    And for those who were wondering what the dude said in HUMAN LANGUAGE :
    “I can’t leave you alone for one minute before you start messing around! Doing stupid crap that’ll get you in trouble. Like sexing up some south american diva ballet dancer tramp !”

    THIS , McEldowney , is how normal people talk!

    MW : “yea yea , you love your job , we get it .. jeezus , why did I fall for this guy again?”

  53. Mole Man Fan
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    Curtis: I guess making an unwanted lunch immediately payable would be better than just tossing it. (Sorry, but “make due” for “make do” is a pet peeve of mine)

    Btw, my guess about Blondie‘s humor upswing: New ghostwriter?

  54. Ed Dravecky
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    Wait, so the Lincoln Lawyer is a Plugger?

  55. Doctor Handsome
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#37): You sure know how to hurt a guy.

  56. Terry
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    MW–Dr. Drew’s left eye is not only bulging in horror, but seems to be crawling up his face to seek refuge in his hair.

  57. Patrick
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    What are those enormous circles in the ceiling of the restaurant in Mary Worth? They’re too big to be recessed lighting. I’m going to assume they’re wormholes to another dimension where the comics don’t consist of two very boring people having a series of meals together while communicating ineffectively.

  58. Chip Whittle
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    Alley Oop: “We’re going to meet Doc at the rocket storage place.” “Okay!” I just have this vision of them driving down to County Line Climate-Controlled Self-Storage and going to one of the big-size lockers, trying to remember, are they C112 or C122 again? And they’re just glad they got one on the first floor, ’cause the elevators in those buildings are just lousy.

    Arlo and Janis: “What does Gene know about a business plan?” “It’s a great plan! He’s going to be a farmer who harvests shoes!”

    Nancy: You know, if you just do the “here’s the pearly gates, and here’s a beloved celebrity coming up to them” strip you avoid making your lead characters talk to themselves like slightly nutty people.

    Spot the Frog: I like this “homeopatic fashion” idea, but I do not have the body to pull it off. So to speak.

    Tarzan Classics: I’m not being disabused here of my idea that this kid grows up to be Mark Trail. It’s just more logical that he grew up a family-less lone survivor in the jungle than that he has any biological connection to anything not a quadruped.

  59. Katy
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    9CL: We’re supposed to like Mark, right? Find him gently humorous? Witty in kind of a P.G. Wodehouse way, with all those big words coming to the crashing conclusion with the cows? So does McEldowney know what a stoat is?

  60. Doctor Handsome
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    “Speaking of Sparks, I’m going to need a shitload of alcoholic energy drinks to maintain my inexplicable sexual attraction to this uninteresting pud.”

  61. Comic_Nerd
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    …is that Wilbur in the background of panel one in MW? Surely all of his kite flying excitement from the previous week would have left him home nursing pastrami and cheese sandwiches for at least another month.

  62. teenchy
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#42): Ditto. In fact, where I grew up many of the school bus drivers were actual students. They kept the buses at home, including over weekends. Then again, I grew up is South Carolina where things are often, well, different. It’s been over 20 years since I lived there, so I don’t think students drive the buses anymore; I think they’ve been replaced by Pluggers.

  63. teenchy
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    oops, “in South Carolina.”

  64. Mibbitmaker
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    @Mark B (#5): Alternate version:

    CHERRY (fresh from confronting Kelly Welly): “Um….. Who’s Lonnie?”
    GEOFF PETERSON: “Uh-oooh!”

  65. Sequitur
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    @teenchy (#62): That must have been cool on Saturday nights with those students and their hopped-up school busses dragging down the strip.

  66. Mibbitmaker
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    @But What Do I Know? (#8): re:Luann: Ah, the Christmas Story leg lamp sollution!

  67. Scott Bot
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    BB – I realize it’s pointless trying to insert logic into any Walker strip, but I would think that a dog that wears a uniform correctly, eats with utensils, has rational thoughts and is able to communicate (albeit non-verbally) with humans would be capable of taking their own damned bath.

  68. Sequitur
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#67): And the general will throw a fit when he gets his vehicle back and it smells of wet dog.

  69. pugfuggly
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#67): …and yet they have to wash down Sarge with a hose every week!

    /rimshot/

  70. Terry in Maryland
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    MT: Mark has a scar on his forehead from being shot a few days before and his only treatment was a bandage applied by Miz MomJeans? She must have washed out the would with water from the Grail, borrowed from Indiana Jones.

  71. Sequitur
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#69): That usually involves Sarge and Beetle.

  72. Scott Bot
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#68): I was somewhat surprised that they didn’t show Sarge running Beetle through the car wash. It would have made more sense in the context of the strip (Otto’s always been brighter than the humans), and would have gone with the whole homoerotic S&M thing that the two of them have going on.

    And I can’t believe that I’m writing a serious critique of Beetle Bailey.

  73. Swordsmith
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: I hate to support this strip, but I can say with certainty that at least one school bus driver, circa ’76-’82, did indeed park her bus in her driveway overnight, and during the day between runs. She lived about 4 houses down from me, and had the route that took me to school from ’76-’78. Fairfax county, VA. I’m reasonably sure I’ve seen school buses parked in front of other houses, although I can’t say where or when, could be the practice stopped years ago and I just never noticed.

    I have seen school bus lots, where presumably the driver uses other transport to get there, uses the bus for the route, returns it, and so on, I just assumed some people used that system and others used the “park it at home” system.

  74. Jessy
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    @But What Do I Know? (#8): MT: I would think that for a woman’s name, it would be spelled “Lani” or “Loni.” I guess that’s why I willingly embraced “Senora Momjeans” and forgot her name entirely. Of course, Cherry will not see it spelled out.

    But don’t get me started. I am so over females in fiction all being named “Sam” or “Alex” or “Marty.” I am reading the book and picturing Sam with a goatee, when all of a sudden she takes her pink bikini out of the closet. It’s too confusing.

  75. Jim North
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    Jumble: Saving your pennies could be considered this: OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER

    MT: If Mark keeps the scar from now on, I’ll take bad every bad thing I’ve ever said about this comic.

    HA! No I won’t. And no he won’t.

    Pluggers: Oh, thank goodness other folks are backing up the premise of the strip. I was starting to think I was the only one here who grew up in an area where bus drivers kept their bus at home! But yes, it is – or at least was, as I don’t know exactly how things may be run these days – a common practice in rural areas, which is of course where most pluggers ostensibly live.

    DT: Mr. Staton, Mr. Curtis . . . the two of you have gained an everlasting fan for life. I don’t know if you guys read The Comics Curmudgeon or our comments. I don’t know how far ahead you might make the strips for Dick Tracy. All I know is that my insane ramblings regarding Lizz tanning in the nude from yesterday have somehow magically become true today, as if the two of you heard my wish and decided in your infinite wisdom to grant it. I swear by everything I hold dear that my creepy shrine to you will be the largest and creepiest shrine of personal dedication ever constructed. It will be in the shape of reclining naked Lizz, and it will be visible from space. This I swear to you, My Great and Powerful Newspaper Comics Overlords.

  76. Amateur
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    Curtis: And Billingsley continues his search for the most humorless punch line in the universe.

  77. Sequitur
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#72):

    And I can’t believe that I’m writing a serious critique of Beetle Bailey.

    Hey, if Zippy the Pinhead can make it into the biography of Ronald Reagan…

  78. Islamorada Girl
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    Confidential to Fashion Police: It appears Alexander McQueen has come back from the dead just to design a dress for Luann. She should be thrilled, not ungrateful, the wretched little mall rat. Fashionistas like Gwen Paltrow would kill for that soignee ensemble!

  79. Effluvius Crankshafticus
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    @Jim North (#75):

    Jumble: Saving your pennies…

    First when I saw today’s Jumble and then your comment, I read “Saving your pennies” as “Saving your penises.” Guess I got dickslexia.

  80. Ian C.
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#26): Jesus, I thought yesterday’s Popeye was filthy.

  81. Old School Allie Cat
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    9CL – Christ, what an asshole!

  82. Scott Bot
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#77): I’ve read a little of Edmund Morris’ work, half the time it makes about as much sense as a Zippy strip, so that’s not too surprising. But I digress.

  83. Pseudo3D
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    9CL – For a writer that prides himself on his great linguistic skills, shouldn’t that be “homophobic, argentine, coryphees” instead of “homephobe, argentine coryphees”?

  84. Chip Whittle
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    Adam@Home: Sure, the Pearls shout-out draws attention, but isn’t there a swipe at The Argyle Sweater in there too?

    Agnes is actually the strip character I figure most likely to work up a licking-based scheme for personal income.

    Cleats: See, this is why Cleats deserved to stay in new-run strips.

    Compu-Toon: Forced downloading applications will have trouble trying to penetrate Compu-Toon as usual.

    Get A Life: You get an AWESOME “My Summer Vacation” joke like this, you don’t wait for it to come in season. You just have the teacher assign “My Summer Vacation” assignments eight months late is all!

    Heathcliff: “He’s supposed to look like a crumb, because who among us hasn’t fantasized about being devoured by a roc?”

  85. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    @Old School Allie Cat (#81): When talking an asshole in this strip, you’re going to have to be a lot more specific.

  86. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#83): I thought it should be “homophobic” too, but since I barely understand the rest of the sentence, it hardly matters.

  87. teenchy
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#65): Yep, it was like straight outta American Graffiti, I tell ya what.

  88. commodorejohn
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    A3G – “Talk to the glove!”

    A&J – The rare comic-strip parents that don’t make me want to commit murder.

    Bizarro – She’s a fat person in a disability cart, Officer. She officially has no fucks to give. (Next she’s off to the local supermarket, to park in the exact center of the aisle while spending five minutes reaching her grabber thing up to the frosting, so that she doesn’t have to get her fat ass off the seat for ten seconds.)

    Blondie – Blondie’s words say “open-minded,” but her face recalls that one really disastrous experiment that ended with sesame seeds stuck in you don’t even wanna know where.

    Curtis – I know this has already been pointed out, but: “MAKE DO.

    DT – Best. Dick. Tracy. EVER. (Fun brain-melting experiment: imagine what this would be like with Locher or Brozman’s art.)

    FC – The real heartbreaker here is that some actual detail has been put into the card, but not nearly as much as the bill, just to emphasize how completely ignored it is.

    FW – I call bullshit: Nobody but nobody would move back to Westview.

    JP – …what.

    Luann – Of course, you can’t not wear the joke of a gown (question: is this even what you’d call a “gown?” I’m no expert, but “tiered cloud barf retch blurgh thing” seems more appropriate) because Gunther is Just Such A Nice Guy and it would be Wrong to not shower gratitude on his baffling lack of sense, taste, or competence for it. Time to go out there and face the world so Greg Evans can get off to his humiliation fetish again, baby!

    MT – “Luckily he was a sorry shot and the bullet only grazed me! Hey, are the log walls disappearing for you too? Anyway, let me tell you about Lonnie! She made me pancakes!”

    MW – Oddly enough, the most appropriate therapy for Liza’s crazy stalkerness is to simply let her spend a couple hours with Drew. It’s so simple it’s genius!

    OB – “No, we’re not here about the blog. The RIAA has just been granted police powers and declared martial law.”

    Phantom – Uh, good Lord. Ghost-Who-Juts, you may want to consider a bra.

    SF – Okay, I like this even better.

    SFx – If you’re wondering, the octopus won.

    Edison Lee – Little-known fact: if someone starts talking to you about the next election more than a year before the actual polling day, it’s legal to crush their worthless little head into a brain and bone purée.

  89. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    MW: “Speaking of Sparks, I need to get back in touch with Russ Mael, restraining order be damned.”

    BB: Great minds, Josh. Of course after the doggy nudity my next thought was a hope that ASPCA vigilantes are lurking nearby.

    Luann: “I think I’ll go outside and see if I can get hit by an asteroid.” This would indeed be a great time for a Brewster Rockit crossover.

    MT: Only in the trail household can “a diamond smuggler shot me in the head” be followed seamlessly by “pass the gravy.” No one reacts at all.

    JP: Later on Abbey set out to get Sam’s attention, which is when she learned to eat spaghetti with a dental explorer.

    S4th: Ha-ha.

    FW: This is Westview, so “until they get sick of us” has a more… tumorous meaning than it does elsewhere.

    M-Dawg & H-Cliff: You can start your reign of terror anytime now, Bird Kingdom.

    Phantom: Several months behind the curve, Chatu busts out his Kanye impression. “Imma let you finish, but you were supposed to be grieving for all time. FOR ALL TIME!”

  90. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#88):

    DT – Best. Dick. Tracy. EVER. (Fun brain-melting experiment: imagine what this would be like with Locher or Brozman’s art.)

    Not gonna. My imagination refuses to fantasize when the reality is so much better.

  91. Fester Morgenstern
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    Um, we all are clear that “hump day” is slang for Wednesday, right?

  92. Dood
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    Is that Wilbur Weston placidly occupying the restaurant’s Dennis-the-Menace penalty corner for yet again dripping mayonnaise over everything?

  93. Aaaviatrix
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @Evan (#12), @Scott Bot (#23), @Doctor Handsome (#28), @Sequitur (#38) & other doubters: Not only do some [see 'valeriey'] school bus drivers park the bus in their own driveway [this one wasn't supposed to, but did anyway], or outside their house, here’s one from 1957, but it engenders Westview-like problems. (No, not cancer).

  94. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

  95. Effluvius Erratus
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#90):

    DT – Best. Dick. Tracy. EVER. (Fun brain-melting experiment: imagine what this would be like with Locher or Brozman’s art.)

    Not gonna. My imagination refuses to fantasize when the reality is so much better.

    For my part, I’m just going to enjoy Sean Young’s performance as Lizz Grove.

  96. Aaaviatrix
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    @Mole Man Fan (#53): Make due? That’s a prank where you hack into the library computers and change the due dates on all the victims checked out books, so he has to pay massive fines and looks like a dweeb when he swears that he only checked them out four days ago. Hilarity ensues!

  97. word-doctor
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    Baby Blues-Panel 1 made me think, “Christ, like Jeremy, Ham has once again failed to remember what he’s supposed to wipe his ass with.” But alas, no. Wanda is holding Bounty, and Ham has failed to emulate David Carradine while listening to Joe Scruggs.

  98. Scott Bot
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    @Aaaviatrix (#93): Ok, ok, I give up….

  99. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    MW – in a world where people like Adrian can become doctors, is it any wonder that the nurses are apathetic and unprofessional?

  100. Comcis Fan
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    9CL: In the last panel, the guy on the phone looks like Dr. Smith in “Lost in Space.” I reckon he sounds like him, too.

  101. Aaaviatrix
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    @Katy (#59): Oooh, ooh, I know! A stoat is like a weasel, but should not be mistaken for one. The stoat is weasily distinguished, because the weasel is stotally different.

    That was my father’s joke, and in his memory I am obligated to recite it any time there is any doubt as to the identity of a weasel or stoat.

    Also, here’s an apostrophe (‘) for appropriate (or inappropriate, if that’s your thing) insertion in my previous comment.

  102. Sequitur
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    @Aaaviatrix (#93): Oh, I admit that rural areas are forced by circumstances to home school the busses. The problem was that this Pluggers got me thinking about Crankshaft and that’s never pleasant.

  103. Sequitur
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#100): Dr. Smith quotes:
    “You bubble-headed booby! You realize what you’ve done?”
    “Oh, the pain, the pain.”
    “Yours not to question why; yours to do as I say or die.”
    “Silence, you ninny.”
    “Silence, you mental midget.”

    You may be on to something!

  104. Mibbitmaker
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    S4th: Ralph’s got one of those Glenn Beck-John Lennon deals.

    NS: Yes. Yes it does (if you forget about all that “Lady GaGa’s really a dude” crap).

    MW: Will somebody please tell Liza’s thoughts to SHUT THE HELL UP!?! Even she‘s getting tired of it!

  105. Professor Fate
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    9CL: okay now i miss the germans. Or the Austrians or who ever they were. I don’t miss the Belgians in the balloons video taping the hand sex but I do miss the germans now.

    MW: Every other person at this place is sitting alone. What is this, socially inept night? Prove you have no friends and get 25% off any entree after 7?

    FW: we were homesick for the cancer.

  106. Aaaviatrix
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#98): You were right though. It does annoy the neighbours.

  107. Katy
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    @Aaaviatrix (#101): Are you sure we don’t have the same parents? Because, dude. My mom listens to spirit guides as an alternative to listening to my dad’s jokes as well.

  108. Mibbitmaker
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Nevermind that, Edda — I’m still stuck on “coryphees”!

    Lockhorns: Looks like it was a shotgun wedding — and some idiot forgot to bring the shotgun!

    JP: Well, to be fair, you‘re the one who said “dark ages” there, Abbey…

  109. Mr Woorf
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    BB: Doesn’t Sarge make enough money to own his own car? Also, he is getting himself and the rest of the inside of the General’s car completely soaked.

  110. Aviatrix
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    If the new Dick Tracy creative team were to suddenly realize how much actual plot work they would have to do with this pacing, and needed to slow it down for a few strips, I can’t say I would really mind a week or so of, “Put the robe on, Lizz.”

  111. Fashion Police
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    @Islamorada Girl (#78):
    Your comments are, as usual, perceptive and penetrating. It is so tragic that Pittsville lacks the sophistication of Milford, and that Miss DeGroot never had the tutelage of a mentor such as Master Bellini Verde. One might see potential in young Gunther channelling his inner McQueen, and recognizing that hideousness is an art form.

    Wasn’t Mr. McQueen the first designer since the late 1960s to put men in skirts, or was that Vivienne Westwood?

  112. Sequitur
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#110): I’m glad to see you’re back to normal.

  113. Mibbitmaker
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    H&J: Because, as always, God hates sex. (eyeroll)

    GT: Waiting for his execution, no doubt.

    FC: Ren & Stimpy: “Five bucks!” (rubbing their hands together)

    ECity: …Eat them up, yum!

    A3G: Better hunker down, this cut rate Three’s Company routine gonna be going on for a few millennia…

  114. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#110): “Oh, slowly, slowly! It’s too nice a job to rush.”

  115. Aviatrix
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    @Katy (#107): And there in one comment I have both a new sister and an explanation of my mother. If it included a job offer it would be the perfect comment.

  116. Mibbitmaker
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    9CL: A fee just to be named Cory? That ain’t right!

  117. Aviatrix
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#116): I figured it was related to corgysquee.

  118. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#110): You’re quite right. And the new team does deserve a break. They’ve been working hard, thinking up punny names, coming up with plot points and stuff like that.

  119. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#116): The name was used so much in the ’80s that it became an endangered species. Now you have to pay to use it.

  120. MaryAnnTheRest
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    Mark: Yay! Andy’s back! As a Landseer owner, I have to admit that this strip nails down something with total accuracy: the Landseer’s complete devotion to watching the movement of plates on the dinner table.

    Rex: Oh, no, not another plot arc ending with people driving around in the rain looking for senile seniors!

    S4: Ha ha, nice twist! Congrats to those who saw it coming.

  121. Bootsy
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    @Fester Morgenstern (#91): sez

    Um, we all are clear that “hump day” is slang for Wednesday, right?

    I always thought that was weird, as I get less on Wednesdays than any other day of the week.

  122. Debidawg
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    I’ve got to chime in on the school bus thing – one of my very dear friends drives a bus and keeps it at home. We live in Douglasville, GA which is considered part of metro Atlanta. As a matter of fact, I thought of her immediately when I saw the Pluggers cartoon. But, this is the south, and we’re a little slow to catch on….

  123. Scott Bot
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    Snuffy Smith – Wait a second…aren’t Lumpy Taters and Gravy the names of their kids? If so, this comic is much more disturbing than I originally thought.

  124. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#119): as seen here. (albeit spelled “Corey”)

  125. Heloise\\\'s Hints
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: I don’t live in any hayseed county, but in a bedroom suburb of DC. The bus barn is fifteen minutes from here. And every midday I see Pluggers driving their school buses to the mall, to Mickey D’s, the supermarket, the bank etc. and then parking ‘em in front of their houses. Maybe they should equip ‘em with mopeds like I see hangin’ off the back of RVs all the time. It’d save the taxpayers some gas.

  126. Carlo
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#44): There are plenty of times where I have to drive to a meeting away from my office. I guess I’m supposed to have a limo driver do it for me or something. Since I work for a non-profit, I know we have plenty of cash to do it.

  127. Sequitur
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#123): At least it’s been a while since we’ve seen Snuffy take his teeth out.

  128. Liam
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth-Sorry Drew it is not something you are born it is a choice. Oh wait, sorry you’re talking about being a doctor. I thought you were talking about being a homosexual.

  129. Charterstoned
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    MW – Okay, in the first panel, Dr. Drew’s nose is clearly extended all the way across the restaurant and into the folds of the drapes. Is this some kind of plot foreshadowing that hints at a medical issue with his proboscis? Does it have a more sinister meaning, suggesting that Drew is a lying Pinnochio SOB? Or is this merely a metaphor for a strip that relies for its drama on characters always sticking their noses into other people’s business–and if so, is that Mary I detect behind the curtain taking notes?

  130. Jim North
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#112): Nude Lizz has been scientifically proven to have a soothing effect on the mind. The Dick Tracy creators are really performing a public service here.

  131. Aviatrix
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    @MaryAnnTheRest (#120): Wouldn’t it be hilarious if Rex went straight to Cue’s place?

  132. Sequitur
    April 13th, 2011 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    @Jim North (#130): I was referring to her name but, yeah, you’re right.

  133. littlestevie
    April 13th, 2011 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#18): Speaking of headlights, badda boomp!

  134. Jim North
    April 13th, 2011 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#132): I was referring to her name as well . . . Aviatrix went all Aaaaaaaaviatrix because of how disturbing the Pouch’s pouch was.

  135. Little Guy
    April 13th, 2011 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#54): “The Douglas Plugger”.

    @Aviatrix (#110): If she’s kept tied up for weeks while in a swimsuit, then we know they’ve done their homework on Dick Tracy history.

    Unless during the late 70s, it was my imagination going through puberty about a storyline where Lizz is kidnapped, semi-stripped and running around in a bra and pantyhose trying to put out a fire.

  136. Aviatrix
    April 13th, 2011 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @Jim North (#134): Yep, after seeing nude Lizz I could be Ahhhviatrix.

  137. Sequitur
    April 13th, 2011 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @Jim North (#134): Shhhh. Don’t mention “Pouch.” She might be listening.

  138. Flummoxicated
    April 13th, 2011 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    FW: In Westview, even the high school students have weary expressions and bags under their eyes.

  139. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 13th, 2011 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#135): “…trying to put out a fire.” Oddly specific there.

  140. odinthor
    April 13th, 2011 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    MT. — Oh, Mark! It’s considered bad manners to kiss someone else when you’re saying “Hi, honey!” to the one you love. Andy will be hurt.

    MW. — #128 Liam, you’re righter than you think. Originally, Drew said, “Growing up, I read Rex Morgan, RMMD, and the covert homoeroticism sparked something inside of me that never left” (hence Liza’s moue), but they couldn’t find a speech balloon that fit.

    RMMD.What’s not a good idea? Finding him? Talking?

  141. trey le parc
    April 13th, 2011 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Anyone that can incorporate both “stoat” AND “coryphee” into the dialogue of a single comic strip is OK by me. You go, Brooke, you cunning linguist, you.

  142. Maggie the Cat
    April 13th, 2011 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @Evan (#12): @Doctor Handsome (#28):
    Where I live, the bus drivers do take their buses home with them if they live on or near their routes. They do a lot of country driving and it’s cheaper (fuelwise) for the drivers and the school districts that way.

  143. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 13th, 2011 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    @Swordsmith (#73): Oh jeez. Once Batiuk gets wind of this, you just know he’ll get a notion to have Ed Crankshaft park his deathtrap at home overnight, and “hilarity” will ensue.

  144. Fashion Police
    April 13th, 2011 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    @MapDark (#52):
    If Monsignor McEldowney’s characters talked like “normal” people, how would we know of his superior refinement and intellect?

    We confess that we had to look up “coryphée.” We have fought the good fight but like Vercingetorix at Alesia, we humbly concede the laurel. We cannot match Monsignor McEldowney for pretentiousness. To mix our military allusions, from where the sun now stands we shall fight no more forever.

  145. Maggie the Cat
    April 13th, 2011 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    @Patrick (#57): Maybe they are the only way out of Santa Royale. God knows the path out of that town is an elusive one, few ever leave.

  146. Scott Bot
    April 13th, 2011 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    MW – Liza’s innner monologue is much more entertaining if you imagine it in Butthead’s voice – ‘Huh, huh, huh…he said “feel it”.’

  147. Sequitur
    April 13th, 2011 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#143): That’s another inconsistency of Crankshaft. He has to park his bus at home to keep hitting his neighbor George Keesterman’s mailbox. Yet you also see him getting his bus at the bus barn. Crankshaft sucks.

  148. commodorejohn
    April 13th, 2011 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#140): “Covert!?”

  149. Thomas B.
    April 13th, 2011 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    You are a Plugger if your municipal school bus is only large enough to seat 4 students.

  150. Jasper
    April 13th, 2011 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    MW- “Speaking of sparks, you are pissing on mine you boring pompous ass! I wonder what Wilbur is up to?”

    H&L- Seems a bit early to be planting a garden in Connecticut. Everything will be killed by the first frost.

    MT-Doc has no clue whats gone on in the last several weeks. He thinks Mark just came in from taking the trash out, wondering what the big hoopla is for.
    Mark needs to remove his belt and give Rusty a bare ass beating for his rude phone mannerisms and for just being Rusty.
    And there’s Mark, attempting to pick a fight with Cherry by mentioning Lonnie as if she is part of their inner circle, with no reference to how he came to know her, just so he can bail on the gang at Lost Forest.
    Mark should take his pent up rage from not punching anyone in several weeks, and just go beat the shit out of Kelly.

  151. Fashion Police
    April 13th, 2011 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    We note that Miss Colby follows the principle of the Model A Ford: in Santa Royale, one may wear a dress of any color, as long as it’s purple. We do award passing marks to Dr. Cory the Younger for his black suit, although that rather unfortunate necktie prevents him from taking a first.

  152. terrapin
    April 13th, 2011 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    MT: “Lonnie bandaged my head. It was awesome. Then she gave me some magic jelly beans. They were awesome.”

    DT: Yeah baby!

    9CL: You can use all the big words you want to buddy, it’s still crap.

  153. terrapin
    April 13th, 2011 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    MW: “Yeah but…don’t you ever want to do something totally wacky like…sew your watch up inside a guy and tell him he has two hearts?”

  154. CanuckDownSouth
    April 13th, 2011 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    I’m beginning to think that the Mark Trail writer can’t even be seven. My 3-yr-old niece’s morning-after recounting of the Winter Olympics’ opening ceremonies made more sense than this.

    The next time I see her, I should keep a tally of stories she tells that make more sense than a MT plot.

  155. terrapin
    April 13th, 2011 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#88):re-Edison Lee: If you could make that a law I would vote for you!

  156. Vince M
    April 13th, 2011 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    @Ian C. (#80): It’s all reminding me of the classic Fleischer cartoon “I-Ski Love-Ski You-Ski”.

  157. Sgt. Saunders
    April 13th, 2011 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#26): Good Lord, you can neither unsee nor unread it.

  158. seismic-2
    April 13th, 2011 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    Cherry: “How did you get the scar on your head?”
    Mark: “Remember how I went away with Kelly Welly and spent all that time with her, spying on that diamond thief? Well, I started to get away, but I got shot in the head. But it’s OK, because I woke up in bed in Lonnie’s house, and she put a Band-aid on the bullet hole! I’ve been resting in her bed ever since then, hiding out from the drug smugglers, and Lonnie’s been caring for me and making me well. She saved me!”
    Cherry: “Think so, huh?”

  159. MS
    April 13th, 2011 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#108): That one sent me to the dictionary.

  160. Chip Whittle
    April 13th, 2011 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    @Thomas B. (#149):

    You are a Plugger if your municipal school bus is only large enough to seat 4 students.

    But…given obesity rates among the youth, that’s pretty much every municipality. You need more than morbid obesity to be a Plugger, I dearly hope.

  161. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    April 13th, 2011 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    Funk the Stupid Bean: Like seeing these three shlubs together at once must be one giant panel that takes up the entire space…..

    Luann: I’ll bet this is Gunther’s idea of a joke…….he probably has held back the REAL dress as a surprise…..either that, or he expects Luann to go in her birthday suit.

    Marvin: Why do I even bother with this drivel?

    Beetle: Gen. Halftrack is going to be pissed when he discovers the lake inside his car because Sarge left the windows down..

    RMMD: Just when I think Dexter couldn’t get any dumber……he continues to surprise me.

    Mary Worth(less): Someone is bound to get cancer here. No. Wait. This isn’t the Funkyverse. Someone is bound to go to the Bum Boat and chow down on orange goo.

  162. mvg
    April 13th, 2011 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    Old School Allie Cat (81): “9CL – Christ, what an asshole!”

    Regarding 9CL, you’ll have to be MUCH more specific than that. Mark? Edda? Seth? Brooke? All of the above?

    Fester Morgenstern (91): “Um, we all are clear that “hump day” is slang for Wednesday, right?”

    Not when it’s a dog plugger saying it.

    trey le parc (141): “9CL: Anyone that can incorporate both “stoat” AND “coryphee” into the dialogue of a single comic strip is OK by me. You go, Brooke, you cunning linguist, you.”

    Are you allowed to mention “cunning linguist” on a family web site?

  163. Walker of Dog
    April 13th, 2011 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#38): Solution: The Crankshaft-Plugger lives in the bus barn.

    @Patrick (#57): The ceiling circles are evidence that the manager needs to hire a new employee to run the pancake station.

    @Pseudo3D (#83): I have a friend who was “home-phobed”. His parents felt that the public schools weren’t effective at teaching the fear of non-generic people.

  164. Baka Gaijin
    April 13th, 2011 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    Sally Forth: The big reveal? I see two options:

    1. Since Sally’s not speaking to her sister, she hasn’t found out that Jackie broke up with Ralph two months ago. Ralph and unnamed girlfriend are opening a Subway sandwich shop in a Shell station off the freeway.

    2. Since Sally’s not speaking to her sister, she hasn’t found out that Ralph and Jackie are XTube’s biggest earners, in multiple categories. The new “little business” goes a quite bit further than its neighbor, the Mustang Ranch.

  165. This Guy
    April 13th, 2011 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    NS: I actually have to congratulate Wiley on anticipating the #NotIntendedAsAFactualStatement thing by whatever his lead time is.

    R==R: At least the Not-the-Geek-Squad folks are reacting realistically to this heap of stone knives and bearskins.

    Zits: “Snick”? Is Wolverine today’s substitute teacher?

    As for 9CL, yes, “homophobe” is a noun and not an adjective. I suppose Creatures of Pure Art are beyond such petty concerns as “parts of speech.”

  166. Scott Bot
    April 13th, 2011 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    Welcome to Plugger Jeopardy!

    I’ll take Extreme Squick for 100, Alex.

    The answer is: ‘Thank goodness Hump Day is over.’

    What is ‘Things we really, really don’t want to hear our school bus driver say?’

  167. Dood
    April 13th, 2011 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    Does a dog plugger view himself as his own best friend? Would “Barf” from Spaceballs be considered a plugger?

  168. Walker of Dog
    April 13th, 2011 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    MW: Liza, obviously you are as exhausted as we are by the lame double-entendres inside your head. If you’re a lesbian, then just be a lesbian. No amount of denial is worth this.

    Phan: Such a long performance review. Chatu wants a raise: yes or no?

    S-M: MJ is slowly strangled by her defective sweater. And Peter’s spider-sense says? Yawn.

    Jumb: Saving your pennies could be considered this: |P|E|N|N|Y|W|I|S|E|. When the answer to tomorrow’s puzzle is “pound foolish”, you’re all going to be blown away.

    MT: Mark speaks admiringly about some strange, exotic woman while Cherry holds a pot of hot coffee two feet away. How about some sort of wacky plot development in that area? No? OK.

    Plug: The folks at Mary Kay Cosmetics are going to be pissed.

    FC: Inside the birthday card: “Billy, please use this money to buy some of those tiny packages of Kleenex. Then keep some with you at all times and use them when one of your nostrils gets clogged with that disgusting flesh-colored mucus. That way I can stand to visit you in person without vomiting into my purse. Love, Grandma”

  169. Dood
    April 13th, 2011 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#166): You think hump day’s bad. Just wait till go-fetch Friday.

  170. Dood
    April 13th, 2011 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    Come to think of it, there’s a lot of efficiency built into the plugger-bus driver lifestyle. You get to chase your own bus and whiz on the tires any damn time you want.

  171. kkarenb
    April 13th, 2011 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#168):
    Re FC – Billy has only one nostril! Someone pointed out that fact on this blog a couple of weeks ago. I never noticed it before, but darn it, they were right! As if those little creeps weren’t hideous enough.

    ReFOOB – Isn’t Connie pregnant? And now she wants to put the moves on Ellie’s brother? That slut!

    Rose is Rose – Is there such a thing as Dadjeans? If there is, he’s wearing them.

  172. Beetle Bumstead
    April 13th, 2011 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @Aaaviatrix (#93):

    The pluggers who drive school buses at my school don’t drive them home, but they do drive them to the local bar to have a few drinks between the morning and afternoon runs.

  173. Mibbitmaker
    April 13th, 2011 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#166): I thought the answer to that question was “Hi, I’m Ed Crankshaft.”

  174. Scott Bot
    April 13th, 2011 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    @Beetle Bumstead (#172): The children reported that she was going 70 mph at one point, ran over a mailbox, and rolled backwards down a hill.

    Wow, there’s three weeks worth of Crankshaft strips right there.

  175. Dood
    April 13th, 2011 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#173): What were the categories when Josh was on Jeopardy!?

  176. Scott Bot
    April 13th, 2011 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#173): That works, too.

  177. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    April 13th, 2011 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#38): Where I grew up (a rural district), the drivers took their buses home with them.

  178. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 13th, 2011 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#32): In answer to your Hazel mouse-over question, it’s been running since the forties and was a sitcom with Shirley Booth in the early sixties. So you’d expect it to be a legacy strip. On t’other hand it still has the creator’s signature on it, so it’s ambiguous.

  179. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    April 13th, 2011 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#65): I had a friend who “borrowed” his mom’s school bus and dragged Main Street with a bunch of his friends and a keg on board…

  180. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    April 13th, 2011 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#83): Coryphee — “a ballet dancer who dances in a small group instead of in the corps”.

    I thought Fernanda was supposed to be a prima, not a background dancer…

  181. Mibbitmaker
    April 13th, 2011 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    Gather ’round the campfire, pardner, an’ let me tell you the tale of ol’ Cory-Phee Stoat, the most infamous bankrobber of the ollllld west. He was quite the weasel, and moved ’round with a small gang doin’ his terrrrrible work!…..

  182. jnik
    April 13th, 2011 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    FW: “Until they get sick of us and throw us out.” Or until the space above Montoni’s becomes available. We’ll be working there between stints substitute teaching at the High School.
    Just like everyone else in Funkytown.

  183. Peanut Gallery
    April 13th, 2011 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#20): Bwah ha ha! Well, there’s my COTW nominee.

  184. Katy
    April 13th, 2011 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#115): Would it be nice of me or mean of me to offer you a job listening to our dad’s jokes?

  185. Merry Pookster
    April 13th, 2011 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Okay since Berna discovered she had the winning ticket…. everything else has gone on in the span on less then one day.
    1 Winning ticket
    2. Get dressed go to work spend an hour talking to Rex & June
    3. Go home where Dex already has his jumbo-tron and boat delivered and installed
    4. Serious discussion with Tony
    5. Rant & Raving
    6. I’m not coming home and Rex/June are still in the office so it ain’t even 5 pm yet.
    But this agony has been going on for 4 weeks now.

  186. Mibbitmaker
    April 13th, 2011 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#180): I think Donna was the prima. That’d be a character based on Brooke McEldowney, I believe.

    Uh… Maybe ah shoulda stopped at “Cory-Phee Stoat” (too much play an’ not enough word
    Ed Crankshaft, that is).[/Foghorn Leghorn]

  187. MaryAnnTheRest
    April 13th, 2011 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#170): True, but running the bus through the car wash with the windows down to get a bath is a bitch.

  188. Mibbitmaker
    April 13th, 2011 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#186):
    Donna was the prima. Donna! Prima! Prima-donna! That’s a joke, son![/F.L.]

  189. bats :[
    April 13th, 2011 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    9CL: I’d break out the dancing kitties again, but the dialog is stuff even they wouldn’t say…

  190. But What Do I Know?
    April 13th, 2011 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    @Jessy (#74): I hear you. But then again, I’d have the same problem with the name “Jessie”!

  191. bats :[
    April 13th, 2011 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @Merry Pookster (#185): time sure flies when you’re having fun, huh? :D

  192. UncleJeff
    April 13th, 2011 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#171): Rose is Rose – Is there such a thing as Dadjeans? If there is, he’s wearing them

    Dadjeans are regularly featured in “Pluggers”.
    They’re the pants with the cuffs rolled up halfway to the knee in hopes the 47 year old “Plugger” will “grow into them”.

  193. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 13th, 2011 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

  194. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 13th, 2011 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#178): Good God! I remember that show. I’m pretty sure that the Jetson’s robot maid, Hazel, was also a nod.

  195. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 13th, 2011 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#181): I think I’ve read that Redwall book. . . .

  196. Jim North
    April 13th, 2011 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#194): The Jetsons’ robot maid was indeed based on Hazel, but her name was Rosie.

  197. Aviatrix
    April 13th, 2011 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    @Katy (#184): As long as I get the occasional weekend off and don’t have to listen to our mother explaining the latest development in la la land, that might work out pretty well, sis. Does he do the one about the Polish guy who buys a chain saw?

  198. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    April 13th, 2011 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#178): So I Googled “Ted Key” and it says he died in 2008. either Hazel’s a rerun, or the name is more a trade mark than a credit.

    @Peanut Gallery (#183): It was indeed a pip. I’m not a nominating sort of person, but I wouldn’t be too surprised to see it again.

  199. Bill Thompson
    April 13th, 2011 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    @Katy (#59): I’m certain MuckEck knows what a stoat is. And once he discovers that other people know what it is, he’ll never agan use such a plebeian word.

  200. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    April 13th, 2011 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    Mom jeans… Dad jeans… what I want to know is, how’s ChattyGenes?

  201. Toby
    April 13th, 2011 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    You know you’re a (butt) Plugger when you have a caption contest like this.

  202. Aviatrix
    April 13th, 2011 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    @Merry Pookster (#185): And the storm seems to be getting worse.

  203. Esther Blodgett
    April 13th, 2011 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#188): You missed it, boy. You’re too slow. I say, slow.

  204. mvg
    April 13th, 2011 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    Esther Blodgett (203): “@Mibbitmaker (#188): You missed it, boy. You’re too slow. I say, slow.”

    Boy’s about as sharp as a sack o’ wet mice.

  205. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 13th, 2011 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#194):

    In case you were wondering what Shirley Booth‘s Hazel looked like out of uniform:

    http://www.musicals101.com/News/boothsea.jpg

  206. Sequitur
    April 13th, 2011 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#189): I think the kitties might work with the Blondie dialogue.

  207. Scott Bot
    April 13th, 2011 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    Rex Morgan, Doctorin’ Guy – Maybe someone who is more familiar with this strip can answer this question: What is the trouble with Dex staying away all night? It’s been mentioned a couple times that he’s never been away from home overnight before, and it’s obvious he’s not a little kid. Is he some sort of ‘special needs’ person that isn’t able to function on his own without his sister’s help?

    Actually, I took another look at the latest strips, and I think I may have just answered my own question. Never mind.

  208. vanya
    April 13th, 2011 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#180): Yes, well, rather. I think Fernanda does dance prima, so calling her a “coryphee”, y’know, adds a dash of piquancy to Mark’s droll repartee. Oh very witty, Wilde!, oops, Brooke! Very very witty!

  209. Aviatrix
    April 13th, 2011 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#189): I was thinking more like this.

  210. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 13th, 2011 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#205):

    I was joking… it’s a photo of Shirley as vaudeville performer “Lottie Gibson” in the Broadway show By the Beautiful Sea (1954)!

  211. Aviatrix
    April 13th, 2011 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#207): That’s the working theory; someone proposed it some weeks ago, and you’re right: and it really does explain everything, plus inject some real pathos into the story.

  212. Sequitur
    April 13th, 2011 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

  213. ArchieNemesis
    April 13th, 2011 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    @Digger (#16): Regarding “fastest Mary Worth plot ever,” maybe Aldo’s ghost could suddenly appear at the table and hijack the plotline. Mary would have to don a Ghostbuster’s outfit, and contain Aldo with extreme prejudice, while Bill Murray and Harold Ramis made quest appearances. But, unfortunately, tomorrow’s strip will merely be more of the same tedious date.

  214. Not Just Any Dipstick
    April 13th, 2011 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    @Katy (#184): Did you hear about the nurse that couldn’t swim. They found her under the ‘doc’. Har…de…Har.

  215. Not Just Any Dipstick
    April 13th, 2011 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    I got a millyun of em. But nope, I aint yer papa, not that I knows about.

  216. Scott Bot
    April 13th, 2011 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#211): I’m surprised I didn’t pick up on that, I’ve been posting here quite some time; but RMMD really hasn’t been in my regular rotation of strips. I usually only looked at it if someone here mentioned that something extremely funny happened, or that June was dressed provocatively.

  217. Katy
    April 13th, 2011 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#197): I haven’t heard him do that one. He’s been strangely deficient in the ethnic jokes lately. With me, he’s been hitting the lawyer jokes (“Why are lawyers buried 24 feet under instead of 6? Because deep down, they’re nice people.”) What’s he been telling you?

  218. Sequitur
    April 13th, 2011 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#216):

    … RMMD… something extremely funny happened…

    ??????

  219. Argon
    April 13th, 2011 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    @MW

    Perhaps Liza is suddenly sullen at the table,due to the fact that she put on her best evening gown and her Dr.Drew date dressed just as formal….then she suddenly notices that this nightmare-decorated dining facility she is in has a metal napkin holder on the table,such as one would find at Pops’ Malt Shop.

  220. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 13th, 2011 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

  221. MaryAnnTheRest
    April 13th, 2011 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    @Katy (#217):

    So this couple walks through a cemetery and the man reads a nearby tombstone. “Here lies a Shriner, lawyer, and all around good person.”

    And the woman replies, “I didn’t know they could bury three people in the same plot.”

    My Dad’s got a million of them, but the majority have a lot more cursing than you’d like to see from a recruit in peacetime.

  222. Effluvius Erratus
    April 13th, 2011 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    MW Redux: My mum (a nurse) tells me that there are two kinds of nurses: Those who hate doctors and those who want to marry one, but ijudging by June Morgan and Liza Colby, I think there’s a third option: Nurses who want to marry one but hate them nonetheless.

  223. Sequitur
    April 13th, 2011 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    Dad joke:
    “Adam and Eve and Pinchme went down to the river to bathe. Adam and Eve got drowned. Who was left?”
    You’d answer, “Pinchme!”

    And then he’s pinch you.

  224. Lee
    April 13th, 2011 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    MT: This is at least the third time I’ve seen that exact same “Mark kissing Cherry” clipart used in the strip. One for sure in a Sunday about the mistletoe last year (or the year before maybe). I know you only need it once every three years or so, Elrod, but can’t you at least try for a different angle now and again?

  225. Scott Bot
    April 13th, 2011 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#218): Well, unintentionally, of course…

  226. Mark B
    April 13th, 2011 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    MW: I’m thinking the rest of the thought goes like this: “Speaking of sparks …. I can’t wait until I attach jumper cables to Drew’s nipples …”

  227. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 13th, 2011 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    the last time that the “Pete and Repeat” joke was funny, was when it was on “Monk.”

  228. Aviatrix
    April 13th, 2011 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    @Katy (#217): Here’s one:

    A guy of an ethnicity that about fifty years ago had a reputation among people’s crazy fathers for lack of technical education goes into a hardware store and says he needs a new saw for clearing land. The salesman recommends a chain saw, says it’s much better than the crosscut saw. The customer is dubious, but the salesman says he should be able to cut down fifty trees a day with this thing, so he buys it.

    He calls the next day and complains that it’s a piece of crap. He only managed to cut down three trees, and it didn’t cut very cleanly. The salesman suggests that maybe he needs to get used to it, or get an earlier start, and the customer agrees to try it for another day.

    The next day the customer doesn’t call, but the morning after he’s in the store with the chainsaw. He’s polite, but firm. He worked all day yesterday from sunrise to sunset and only cut down seven trees. This saw is not doing the job. He wants to trade it in for a real saw. The salesman apologizes, “Maybe there’s something wrong with it.” He takes the customer out to the lumber yard to test the saw on some scrap ends. He pulls the cord and the saw starts at once.

    “What’s that noise?” exclaims the customer.

    After the one about the stoat and the weasel, this was probably my father’s favourite joke. I’m pretty sure he even told it to people of the maligned ethnicity.

  229. Violet
    April 13th, 2011 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    Damn, I always knew Rex was one lazy mofo, but his suggestion that it’s not a good idea to try to find something unless you already know where it is kind of takes it to a new level.

  230. Alison
    April 13th, 2011 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    I actually laughed at “Mary Worth” today. Dr. Drew’s “I was born to be a doctor!!1!” blabber is so hilariously cheesy, and he keeps it up day after day. I hope he does it tomorrow and the next day too, because it just gets funnier. Oh, and I can’t figure out how old Liza The Nurse is supposed to be. In the first panel, she looks mid-20s, and in the second panel, she looks mid-50s.

  231. Sequitur
    April 13th, 2011 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#228): Hey, I heard that but a little differently.
    Instead of a guy of an ethnicity it was a lawyer.
    Instead of a hardware store it was a pharmacy.
    Instead of a saw it was a thermometer.
    And instead of the punch line “What’s that noise?” it was “Now that’s a beaver!”

    Wait a second. Maybe it was a different joke entirely.

  232. commodorejohn
    April 13th, 2011 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    @Lee (#224): Last year, coming up on Christmas. Not only did we learn about mistletoe and that Mark looks like a constipated Ronald Reagan when women’s affections are forced upon him (ha ha, like we didn’t already know that,) we learned that the Druids looked like Grateful Dead fans, or old-school UNIX sysadmins! Never let it be said that Mark Trail isn’t educational!

  233. Sequitur
    April 13th, 2011 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#230):

    In the first panel, she looks mid-20s, and in the second panel, she looks mid-50s.

    She’s at that awkward age.

  234. Katy
    April 13th, 2011 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    @MaryAnnTheRest (#221), @Sequitur (#223), @Aviatrix (#228): How does our dad ever get anything done? He has to split his time among all these different households.

  235. Aviatrix
    April 13th, 2011 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

  236. Steve the Pocket
    April 13th, 2011 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    @Jessy (#74): I remember seeing a show on GSN where a contestant was a woman named “Leri.” Yes, it was pronounced exactly how you think.

    RE: Buses – I remember that Ed Crankshaft used to keep his bus at home, though mind you, in his case it was more of “whenever the joke called for it”: you’d never see it just sitting on the property as part of the background when there wasn’t a reason for it to be there.

  237. LUJBEM FEJF
    April 13th, 2011 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#168): Jumble- Shhhhh I’m going to steal that idea. ;) Love it!

  238. LUJBEM FEJF
    April 13th, 2011 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    @LUJBEM FEJF (#237): I mean, sorry Walker, we already thought of that.

  239. Liam
    April 13th, 2011 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    MW-Speaking of sparks the spark for this story has died.

  240. Katy
    April 13th, 2011 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    @Not Just Any Dipstick (#214): Sheeeeeyit, somehow I missed this. I believe I’m going to start keeping a list. This is going on it.

  241. Walker of Dog
    April 13th, 2011 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    @LUJBEM FEJF (#237): Hurray! Fame and fortune!
    @LUJBEM FEJF (#238): Dammit – so close.

  242. Mr. O'Malley
    April 13th, 2011 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    @Aaaviatrix (#101): Did your father also break wishbones in half and ask you what famous French general it reminded you of?

  243. Lee
    April 13th, 2011 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#232):

    Boy, he sure does look… happy about that kiss, doesn’t he? If we ever get a new creative-team and reboot of Mark Trail along the lines of the Dick Tracy one (though that would take some real talent and work, good grief), it would be awesome if they’d keep the unintended emotional stunting thing and just really run with it…

  244. Aviatrix
    April 13th, 2011 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    @Lee (#243): That could be the best thing ever. They have to keep the giant talking animals, too, though.

  245. Aviatrix
    April 13th, 2011 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#242): Noooo, I can’t remember my father exhibiting any wishbone-related craziness. He sometimes brought roadkill home, though. Not to eat, just because it was pretty.

  246. commodorejohn
    April 13th, 2011 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#244): Oh, unquestionably. …say, you know what’d be pretty great? If Eduardo Baretto returned from retirement to draw it, and we’d have Cherry and Kelly looking all Abbey-caliber as they futilely throw themselves at Mark. The only question: could Baretto draw Mark’s glib relief at avoiding his wife as well as he drew Sam’s smug superiority at ignoring his?

  247. demoncat
    April 13th, 2011 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    liza expression is saying job talk is boring time to move on to the important stuff mainly you commit to me dr. drew before i have to get Mary to help.

  248. Doctor Handsome
    April 13th, 2011 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    Great Cheech’s Ghost, I’ve learned more today about regional variations on bus driver protocol than I ever… fuck, I can’t even believe the first part of this sentence exists.

  249. Aviatrix
    April 13th, 2011 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#246): But if Mark had a wife that hot, you’d always be left wondering what was in it for her. Unless there was a steady parade of minor characters with tight little asses and manly physiques, always ‘working on the fish weir’ or ‘doing a beaver survey for the department of the interior’ while Mark was gone.

  250. bats :[
    April 13th, 2011 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#209): hahahahahaha! Perfection!

  251. commodorejohn
    April 13th, 2011 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#249): “Mark, why don’t you accept that fishing-camp job, honey. There’s a man who wants my help in, uh, timber relocation, so I’ll be busy for the next week or two anyway.”

  252. ElkMeadow
    April 13th, 2011 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#245):

    We collected road kill pheasants. The feathers were great for jewelery and other crafts, and the longest feathers were used to clean out my oboe. One “gently killed” one was taken to the taxidermist and stuffed. It’s still in the front room.

  253. This Guy
    April 13th, 2011 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#228): I’ve heard that one with a blonde, an Iowan (on A Prairie Home Companion, natch) and, of course, a violist (or as another joke suggests they should be called, a violator.)

    @Mr. O’Malley (#242): That joke leaves me wondering how you groan at a pun in French.

  254. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 13th, 2011 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#251): “He has wood, and needs someplace to put it.”

    “that’s nice, dear.”

    *chuckles*

  255. MWDG
    April 13th, 2011 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    MW: We at the Mary Worth Discussion Group are shocked that no one has mentioned that Liza (Panel one) looks like Justin Bieber or Joey Heatherton.

  256. Aviatrix
    April 13th, 2011 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    Anatomy of a Comic Curmudgeon Thread

    Praise for Josh’s well-written blog post.

    Corrections of Josh’s typos.

    Agonizing over getting threadjumped.

    Reposting of late snark from yesterthread.

    Hurried snark trying to beat the rush.

    Brilliantly crafted snark combining obscure details of the artwork with pop culture and obvious-in-hindsight implications of what passes for ‘plot’ or ‘jokes’ depending on the strip.

    Meme-du-jour surfaces, but no one recognizes it yet.

    Genuine confusion about what it going on in the artwork, continuity, joke or horrible, horrible implications of a given strip.

    Jumble spoilers

    Factual question about something tangentially related to one of the day’s strips.

    Funny snark.

    Meme-du-jour incorporated into snark

    Posts voting for the above as COTW.

    Honest explainations the jokes, artwork or premise of the strips.

    Anecdotes and speculation about the factual question.

    More hilarious snark.

    Ranting about the pain caused by the inaccuracy, ignorance, inanity or artwork of a particular strip.

    More meme-du-jour.

    Research with links answering the factual question, but raising many more disturbing ones.

    First spam.

    Posts riffing off the spam.

    Apologies that their previous posts make no sense now that Uncle Lumpy has removed the spam

    Really disturbing implications of previously innocent-seeming comics.

    Obvious statements trying to be snark.

    Oblivious rambling that may or may not be trying to be snark.

    Random personal details of ‘Mudgeons.

    Self-referential in-jokes linking details of the personal lives of the commenters from several threads ago with the meme-du-jour.

    People posting absolutely anything that they think may amuse their fellow mudgeons, because the alternative involves work.

    Snarking of the new day’s comics.

    [new post from Josh]

    Incredibly brilliant comments posted just after the new thread starts.

    [people notice that the new thread starts]

    Spam selling boots and purses.

    Spam selling blue pills.

    Archive binger three months later answering a question posed in the first fifty posts, and answered several times in the thread.

  257. Katy
    April 13th, 2011 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#252): When you took up the oboe, little did you think that Maxine in 9 Chickweed Lane would overshadow you.

  258. Katy
    April 13th, 2011 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#256): Assless chaps.

    What? What’d I say?

  259. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 13th, 2011 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    as heard on NPR, or faith in democracy restored.

  260. Aviatrix
    April 13th, 2011 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#259): I never get tired of being rickrolled.

  261. True Fable
    April 13th, 2011 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

    @Effluvius Erratus (#47): “A3G: Pimp hand, activate!”

    That alone should win you COTW.

  262. True Fable
    April 13th, 2011 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#260): Seconded!

  263. Theodora of Forth
    April 13th, 2011 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#256):

    Completely accurate! LOL

    You people are my heroes!

  264. Miss Othmar
    April 13th, 2011 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#256): I love you. That is all.

  265. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 13th, 2011 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#198): Yeah, both those possibilities stand. If these are new strips I’d kind of like the current creator to take some credit. I’m not a fan of the Paws Inc brand of anonymity.

  266. Mr. O'Malley
    April 13th, 2011 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#245): I only ask because that joke was on the same 78 RPM record that my grandparents had along with the weasel/stoat joke.

  267. Jim North
    April 13th, 2011 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#256): Oblivious rambling that may or may not be trying to be snark.

    At first I was wondering where I was going to be on the list, then I ran across this and went “Whew! I wasn’t forgotten after all!” Not like the daily squee, which was heartlessly – heartlessly, I say – left off!

  268. Joe Blevins
    April 13th, 2011 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

  269. ElkMeadow
    April 13th, 2011 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    @Katy (#257):

    When you took up the oboe, little did you think that Maxine in 9 Chickweed Lane would overshadow you.

    I was devastated. I couldn’t understand why he went for her instead of me, as I was younger and cuter and his chemistry lab partner in high school. But he was always under the bleachers, with the pretty, perky cheerleaders, as if he had to prove something to somebody. His mom liked me, but he wouldn’t even talk to me.

  270. Carl Barks Fan
    April 13th, 2011 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#256): Very funny. I guess this is too long to be a COTW, but it deserves SERIOUS consideration. Wonderfully done.

  271. Aviatrix
    April 13th, 2011 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    @Jim North (#267): Oh! I thought of it, I was going to put it on, honest. It really definitely belongs there. Probably right after “disturbing implications of previously innocent-seeming comics.”

  272. commodorejohn
    April 13th, 2011 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#266): I’m reasonably certain that every single joke you’ll ever hear from an older relative goes all the way back to the Proto-Indo-Europeans. Yes, even the puns – every time they change languages, they simply substitute the turning words at the turning point of the joke and leave the basic structure intact, like how pagan rituals got syncretized into early Christian holidays.

    That’s my theory, and I’m sticking with it.

  273. ElkMeadow
    April 13th, 2011 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#259):

    Oregon, my Oregon. A place nobody moves to make money, and when recessions hit, nobody leaves.

  274. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 13th, 2011 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    @Jim North (#267): d’awwww. thanks.

    it seems that squee ends up at the very end, or very beginning, of the thread, unless it’s a multi-day one.

    in thanks, here’s squee from the North.

  275. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 13th, 2011 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#271): I resemble that remark as well! :-P

  276. SideshowJon
    April 13th, 2011 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    Leroy’s look of terror in the portrait is fantastic! The wedding photographer caught on film the exact moment Leroy’s soul shattered and left his apparently already decrepit body.

  277. ElkMeadow
    April 13th, 2011 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    @Argon (#219):

    Perhaps Liza is suddenly sullen at the table,due to the fact that she put on her best evening gown and her Dr.Drew date dressed just as formal….then she suddenly notices that this nightmare-decorated dining facility she is in has a metal napkin holder on the table,such as one would find at Pops’ Malt Shop.

    Are Clovia and Slim there too?

  278. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 13th, 2011 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

    @Joe Blevins (#268): I like that one. The TV even mentions zombie contingency plans, in a nice shout-out to Kelly Link.

  279. ElkMeadow
    April 13th, 2011 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#177):

    Same here. The route started miles away from town–bus driver just drove in, picking up kids, went to a day job in the town, and drove out to his place at night, dropping the kids off.

  280. ElkMeadow
    April 13th, 2011 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    @Merry Pookster (#185):

    Are we sure she’s won the lottery?

  281. commodorejohn
    April 13th, 2011 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    @Argon (#219): Better yet, due to the lack of detail, it could just as easily be the box of Kleenex you’ll find on the table in a really tiny truck-stop restaurant in some town that’s barely more than a waypoint on the interstate. How romantic!

  282. bats :[
    April 13th, 2011 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

  283. Aviatrix
    April 13th, 2011 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#272): If you’re right. I may be able to reconstruct the original PIE joke.

    Q: qis-qid arguj? ter? kelus petsnós? [translate]

    A: jod-qid torp?j? ?skai íteros splighstós! [translate]

    (May their ancient gods forgive me for pretending I think language works this way.)

  284. Christian Louboutin
    April 13th, 2011 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    Too early?

  285. Aviatrix
    April 13th, 2011 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

    @Christian Louboutin (#284): It depends. Are you selling handbags or Canadian pharmaceuticals?

  286. commodorejohn
    April 13th, 2011 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#283): Makes more sense than Crock, that’s for sure.

  287. Cheeky Wee Monkeys
    April 13th, 2011 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

    Don’t school bus drivers have it bad enough having to put up with screaming kids? Calling them Pluggers on top of that is a bit harsh.

  288. Mayzshon
    April 13th, 2011 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#245): A lady I know has roadkill taken to the taxidermist, then she decorates her home with it. She then decorates that for holidays.
    I need to post a picture I have of a dead bobcat in a Santa Hat

  289. cj
    April 13th, 2011 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    Beetle:
    Those ARE high-pressure washers, so yes, Walker-Browne does in fact support pet abuse.

  290. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 13th, 2011 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#283): *applaz*

    well done!

  291. spike
    April 13th, 2011 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#256) and @Aviatrix (#283): Not many folks can strike oil/gold the same day here…so I’ll just go and mark today’s date on the calendar! Well done, Ma’am!

  292. Aviatrix
    April 13th, 2011 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

    @spike (#291): Thanks. It’s because the bathroom needs cleaning. Where’s Margo when you need her?

  293. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 13th, 2011 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    @Jim North (#196): Good Lord, you’re right. I guess I just had her so associated with Hazel that I got confuddled.

  294. jungle
    April 13th, 2011 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

    MW- Looks like Liza aged a few years in today’s strip. Maybe she should read Judge Parker and take Abbey’s advice. The pther day when she didn’t care that her shift was starting, I guess she didn’t care if she lost her job, she figures she will marry a doctor and never have to work again.

    FW- Who is that girl with Darren? Looks like Rayna but I thought she was Wally’s girlfriend. I guess a lot of FW characters look alike, ie Bull’s buddy who looked like Wally.

    MT- So Andy sits at the table with them?

  295. Esther Blodgett
    April 13th, 2011 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#256): I was going to say that!

    As a comment type, and also…I was going to say that!

  296. spike
    April 13th, 2011 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

    @jungle (#294): Re: FW The “girl” is Darin’s wife, Jessica (née Darling) Fairgood. This is her first appearance in the new sequence.

  297. Jim North
    April 13th, 2011 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#271): Well okay, just don’t let it happen again! ;)

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#274): Hooray, more squee! And from the Nor-

    403 Forbidden?! NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

  298. Mark B
    April 13th, 2011 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#282): OK, that's pretty hilarious. I was expecting the scene to take place in her basement, but that works as well. I think I should have changed the phrasing a bit ....

    "Speaking of sparks ... I can't wait to see what happens when ...." [you know the rest].

  299. bats :[
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

    @Mayzshon (#288): oh, that is so cool! Please post!

  300. commodorejohn
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    @Jim North (#297): Open it up and refresh the “Forbidden” page – it should display.

  301. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#300): sorry about that. I had to select the address and hit enter, and then it showed back up.

    mighty cute little Arctic Fox pup, for the record.

  302. Baka Gaijin
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#223): Your dad listened to “Baby Snooks” when he was a kid, I see. That’s a fact I’m not proud I know.

  303. Jim North
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#301): Oh, there we go!

    Howdy, puppers! Who is adorable? You are!

  304. Jamus The Bartender
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    Dick Tracy: Wowser. Hell-OO Former Chief now Officer Liz. Also, it looks like Gilbert Hernandez from Love and Rockets is filling in for Joe Staton today. And, if anyone knows anything about Gilbert Hernandez and the Palomar series, everyone in Dick Tracy is totally gonna be sexing up everyone else for the next few weeks.

  305. Jamus The Bartender
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#38): This never happened to me, as I grew up in the Chicago suburbs, but when my family moved to the north woods of Wisconsin, my younger sister The Bartender took the bus to school, and not only did the driver get to keep the bus at home, but my sister’s driver kept a six pack of beer under the seat. I’m starting to think the north woods are only a tornado away from crap throwing anarchy.

  306. commodorejohn
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#305): Less “the north woods” and more “Wisconsin.” We do have our fair share of them on this side of Lake Superior, though.

  307. Street Urchin Informant
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    The good Doctor Drew said he wanted that Liz, yes, he did, guvnor, surely he did. But you see, he hain’t said, has he, wot he wonted her for, now, has he? He weren’t eyein’ her like a doxy now, none of that. Lookin’ her up an’ down, makin’ notes in that little book he carries around with him. Askin’ her about genetic illnesses, blood pressure. What I’m gettin’ around to is, was you to be generous with myself, copper, I might tell you a tale or two going around about that fellow’s “medical experiments.” Might raise your hackles, I think.

  308. MrBribarysShrunkenHeads
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#256) described: “Oblivious rambling that may or may not be trying to be snark.”

    How exciting- I have become a stereotype! And recursive!

  309. Scott Bot
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#256): Oblivious rambling

    That’s more like me.

  310. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    Rocket Brewster: Just now caught today’s RB. Cyber-bullies. Funny.

  311. Jessy
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

    @But What Do I Know? (#190): Guilty. :D I am female.

  312. Jessy
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

    @Katy (#217): How about “What do you call 100 lawyers chained together and thrown into the deepest part of the ocean?” “A good start.” Has he told that one lately?

  313. Katy
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

    @Jessy (#312): He hasn’t told me that one yet, so I can tell it to him! He’s inexplicably fond of the one about why the shark didn’t eat the lawyer (professional courtesy) and he’s used up like three phone calls on it.

  314. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

    GT: In Gil Thorp, plots twist with such disregard to narrative logic, and the characters utter such endless incomprehensibilities, that I can barely follow a story line. This latest, however, seemed refreshingly straightforward: There’s a girl singing in a coffee house, then there’s some incomprehensible talking, then Coach Thorp does something with rules, and now we’re in the middle of a baseball game.

    Remarkably coherent.

    But it turns out I’ve missed some crucial information here, because I’ve got absolutely no idea who the dead guy is in panel three, nor why he was left lying on the floor of a public washroom.

  315. Aviatrix
    April 13th, 2011 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    @MrBribarysShrunkenHeads (#308) & @Scott Bot (#309): I was trying to create a category for me, but I’m glad to have company.

  316. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

    MW: Drew. His father was a surgeon, right? Or was he a GP. Because if he was a surgeon, then what the hell was he doing letting his young son in to watch him work?

  317. ElkMeadow
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#316):

    Drew was in the operating room’s theater seating, . not eating Jr. Mints.

  318. Aviatrix
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#316): Some operating theatres have those little spectators’ galleries, and it’s not like Drew Cory senior is going to spring for daycare.

  319. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    4-13 Weird Sound Effects:

    B.C. — SWISH
    Phantom — WHACK!
    Non Sequitur — TWEET
    Fast Track — FOLD x 9

    Drabble —

    http://comics.com/drabble/

    Sherman’s Lagoon —

    http://www.jsonline.com/comics/32402404.html?feature_id=Shermans_Lagoon

  320. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#317): @Aviatrix (#318): Obviously two great minds are thinking alike. Of course you’re right. I can see little Drew sitting low in a chair overlooking one of his father’s operations, wearing his little “Junior Doctor Suit,” and stabbing his little “Junior Doctor Scalpel” into his Junior Doctor Anatomically Correct Doll” while whispering, “I’m doctoring you, Mr. Fuggles. I’m doctoring you. Doctoring you. Doctoring you. Doctoring you.”

    That’s about what you were thinking, right?

  321. Aviatrix
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#320): Yeah, except those anatomically correct dolls puncture pretty easily when you jab them with a scalpel. Or so I’m told.

  322. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 13th, 2011 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#321): Okay, I was going to search for some fitting doll to act as the murder victim for a warped doctor in Mary Worth, but what I stumbled on was way cooler.

    Of Dolls & Murder: A doll house of homicide. Each room is a separate murder complete with doll corpses. (Kind of like the Miniature Killer from CSI, come to think of it.)

  323. AndyL
    April 14th, 2011 at 12:05 am [Reply]

    Haha! Today’s ‘Family Circus’ is so old that the Bureau of Engraving and Printing has actually changed the design of the five dollar bill since the strip was drawn!

  324. AndyL
    April 14th, 2011 at 12:06 am [Reply]

    I’m impressed that Luan took the time to put on the hat before screaming.

  325. mdblanche
    April 14th, 2011 at 12:13 am [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#171): It’s not Connie that’s pregnant, it’s Annie. The child Annie’s carrying will be born with six fingers on each hand, much to everyone’s surprise. Since this is in fact a dominant genetic trait, the only way this could be a surprise is if either Annie or her husband were never let in on the shameful secret that they were born with extra fingers (admitably plausible in darkest Foobonia) or that Annie was having an affair. I point this out only because Annie will eventually turn her husband into a prisoner in his own home after he has an affair.

    @commodorejohn (#272): I remember reading in a bunch of different sources about quintessential jokes that perfectly expressed one culture and assured me they could never have arisen in any other. These different sources gave the same joke for Russian culture, Spanish culture and Arab culture, depending which one you asked. If only I could remember it.
    Now my father knew a lot of good jokes. He just didn’t know how to tell them.

    Blondie: That’s more about the Bumsteads’ sex life than I ever wanted to know.

  326. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    April 14th, 2011 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    For my fellow “fans” of 9 Chickweed Lane, land of handsex: chinless ballerinas with “interesting” appendages. Warning, once seen, cannot be unseen.

  327. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    April 14th, 2011 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#256): *chortling*

    I loves me some meta-commentary.

  328. Kate Monster
    April 14th, 2011 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    Man, Sarge and Otto get up to some really strange furry/BDSM stuff, don’t they?

  329. Red Greenback
    April 14th, 2011 at 12:30 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: Those weren’t humps, they were pedestrians!

  330. Poteet
    April 14th, 2011 at 12:44 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#256): Marvelous.

  331. gnome de blog
    April 14th, 2011 at 1:31 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#216):
    June would be dressed provocatively in a burqa.

  332. gnome de blog
    April 14th, 2011 at 1:41 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#273):
    I have to go testify at the Legislature Friday. May I steal that?

  333. gnome de blog
    April 14th, 2011 at 1:45 am [Reply]

    @spike (#296):
    Now that they’re moving back to Westview I give the marriage a year, tops. Less if there’s cancer.

  334. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 14th, 2011 at 2:06 am [Reply]

    MT: Sure. Rather than moving on to a new plot, or actually tying up the loose ends of the present one, they’ve chosen to recap everything that’s happened since the smuggler shot Mark. One consolation: not much has actually happened since the smuggler shot Mark.

    Baby Blues: Is there some aspect of burrito behaviour I’m not familiar with that would explain this comic?

    GT: Showing a sports game through the medium of a comic strip is kind of like listening to a symphony one note at a time by mail. Only dumber.

    Judge Parker: How fitting is it that as this story continues to descend into stalkerish territory, the art work moves into the realm of horror?

    Pluggers: Only a few days ago it was established that Pluggers only wear suits for funerals! So is this guy a serial-killer Plugger, or are the boxes he’s bringing in filled with old school bus driver uniforms?

    RMMD: In the last panel, who the hell said that? It has to be the guy on the phone, but why is his mouth closed? And why does he have such an astonished look on his face as though he’s thinking, “Who the hell said that?”

    Old Punchline Bonanza:

    Is this National Old Punchline Day? Why are so many comics today trudging out the absolute oldest punchlines today? Did they all get a memo or something?

    * Don’t pay taxes, it just encourages them (Snuffy Smith).
    * Just when you find something good, they tell you it’s bad (Herb & Jamaal).
    * The kids must be sick because they haven’t fought all morning (FOOB).
    * I’m starting my diet afresh tomorrow (Crank).
    * I have a peaches and cream complexion/Wet and fuzzy (Tiger).

  335. ElkMeadow
    April 14th, 2011 at 2:50 am [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#332):

    Sure. It’s not an original idea though. I heard a radio commentator point out that when the economy gets bad in North Dakota or Detroit, people think, “There’s someplace better than this.” And when the economy goes bad in Oregon, people think, “I’d rather take the paycut/demotion/live under a bridge than move anyplace else.” Which explains why unemployment is so low in North Dakota, is “improving” in Detroit, and is still so high in Oregon.

    And again, no one ever moves to Oregon to make money; to make money, one has to leave the state.

  336. ElkMeadow
    April 14th, 2011 at 2:53 am [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#332):

    All that I’ve written is in my own words; tell us how it went. And good luck in Salem.

  337. ElkMeadow
    April 14th, 2011 at 3:24 am [Reply]

    And to the Pacific West Coast, good-night!

  338. Joe Btfsplk
    April 14th, 2011 at 5:12 am [Reply]

    Luann – PLOT CALL! Sweetie, you can go right ahead and wear that… thing, and don’t mind Tiffany et al. making fun of you backstage on pageant night, because that isn’t the outfit Gunther meant for you to wear. That’s actually a costume that he made for your library book-reading thing; he got the boxes mixed up, see. He’ll discover his error in the nick of time and come bursting in with the pageant gown just in time for you to change into it, and Tiffany’s jaw will drop when you come out on stage looking all regal and stunning and stuff. I’m confident about this one.

    Apologies if someone else already covered this; I haven’t been reading the entire threads lately.

    Mark Trail – He’s not gonna answer the question, is he. Ha! She’ll have to read about it, when he writes the story.

    Is that bird-thing flying upside-down? Why?

  339. Eric J
    April 14th, 2011 at 5:17 am [Reply]

    Dr. Drew’s spark being the desire to help no-name celeberties with addiction on basic cable.

  340. Old Goat
    April 14th, 2011 at 5:39 am [Reply]

    A3G: Margo, stop touching your face! Don’t you know where that glove has been?… Oh, maybe you do.

  341. Terry in Maryland
    April 14th, 2011 at 6:25 am [Reply]

    MT: Yes, Lonnie is the woman who saved your life, whom you walked away from at the airport as if you owe her nothing, and left her and her daughter to their own devices with Immigration and the FBI.

    Phantom: Oh, for goodness sake, finish him off already, one or the other of you.

  342. monsieurjohn
    April 14th, 2011 at 6:26 am [Reply]

    Margo, unaccustomed to such things, awkwardly speaks the words “Giggle… giggle. Ha ha ha.”

  343. monsieurjohn
    April 14th, 2011 at 6:28 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail dodges questions better than bullets.

  344. gleeb
    April 14th, 2011 at 7:17 am [Reply]

    ‘bean: What better place to come to when in need of work than the go-go economic zone of Northern Ohio?

    Pluggers: …wear ties other than to funerals?

    Rex: Sure, he’ll do it, but it doesn’t have the thrill of looking for infected wrestling mats.

  345. compass rose
    April 14th, 2011 at 7:27 am [Reply]

    MT: That bird is the best cut-n-paste disaster I have ever seen. You’d think a comic about nature would….oh, never mind.

  346. Braniff
    April 14th, 2011 at 7:27 am [Reply]

    FC: In the continuing case of People of Happy Valley, AZ vs. William Keane Sr.–Exhibit for the prosecution.
    Court transcription follows:

    Happy Valley District Attorney: Jeffrey, did your father EVER try to fondle you at any time prior to the incident in the bath tub?
    Jeffrey: No (said hushedly, accordingly to notes made by the court reporter).
    Happy Valley DA: Jeffrey, did you try to appease your father by promising to stay in the shallow end so that he could fondle you?
    Jeffrey: No
    Happy Valley DA: So were you rebelling at any time prior to the incident portrayed in this portrayal captured by “Jef and Bil Keane”?
    Attorney for William Keane Sr.: Objection Mr. District Attorney! Who are Jef and Bil Keane anyway?

  347. GidgetN
    April 14th, 2011 at 7:36 am [Reply]

    A3G: Margo cannot actually laugh, and it forced to simply say “giggle giggle” to try to fool human beings.

  348. GidgetN
    April 14th, 2011 at 7:37 am [Reply]

    Dang…put it instead of is…and was not quick enough to stop it from posting…when I was a kid and had dial up I definitely would have had time…curse you technology!!!

  349. ArchieNemesis
    April 14th, 2011 at 7:41 am [Reply]

    Today’s comics are so retarded I’m actually getting angry.

  350. Hibbleton
    April 14th, 2011 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    @Joe Btfsplk (#338):
    Is that bird-thing flying upside-down? Why?
    I asked myself the same thing but then thought in a world that contains MT dialogue it makes perfect sense.

    A3G:Two single adults, alone in her apartment, who haven’t seen each other in two weeks, are making out, and suddenly stop to read architectural plans. It’s confirmed; Trey is a eunuch.

    MW: . . .”I’m considering a new one. I just read Lady Chatterly’s Lover.

  351. JD Rhoades
    April 14th, 2011 at 8:17 am [Reply]

    Phantom: Dude, even the Bandar aren’t buying the “500 years old” nonsense anymore. Give it a rest.

  352. Écureuil Écumant
    April 14th, 2011 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    @Joe Btfsplk (#338):

    Luann – PLOT CALL! Sweetie, you can go right ahead and wear that… thing, and don’t mind Tiffany et al. making fun of you backstage on pageant night, because that isn’t the outfit Gunther meant for you to wear. That’s actually a costume that he made for your library book-reading thing; he got the boxes mixed up, see. He’ll discover his error in the nick of time and come bursting in with the pageant gown just in time for you to change into it, and Tiffany’s jaw will drop when you come out on stage looking all regal and stunning and stuff.

    So mote it be, and yet Gunther still won’t get a taste.

  353. Jimbo
    April 14th, 2011 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    I love how Mark Trail evades Cherry’s question about whether Lonnie was pretty. The strip would have been more interesting had he answered her truthfully: “Oh, yeah! Prettier than you and Kelly put together! Wow! What a MILF!! And could she ever bake cookies!”

  354. Écureuil Écumant
    April 14th, 2011 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    @Jimbo (#353): Mark has a different concept of “pretty”. “Pretty”, to Mark, is the fluorescent blue spots around a sea cucumber’s cloaca.

  355. jungle
    April 14th, 2011 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    MT meets JP: Abbey: You’ve got to find out what Mark is interested in. Kelly: Well, we ARE interested in the same things (outdoor journalism), but he still won’t go out with me.
    And also, Curtis: I’m interested in Michelle, and Michelle is interested in Michelle, but she still won’t date me.

    FW: You would think Les would know the economy was bad, two years ago they were talking about layoffs at the school.

    FC: So where is the deep end of the bathtub, anyway?

  356. Tom D.
    April 14th, 2011 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    In Mark Trail, how did Andy know about Lonnie?

  357. Jesse R
    April 14th, 2011 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    Dr. Drew: “It turns that spark my father left inside me was actually a tracking chip he used to ensure I never veered from the career path he set out for me. Manipulative fucker deserves that old biddy he’s with.”

  358. boojum
    April 14th, 2011 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Phantom: I take back my comment fro last week. This is not Strip Fight Club. This is Exposition Fight Club.

  359. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 14th, 2011 at 9:06 am [Reply]

  360. boojum
    April 14th, 2011 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Only Rex would be this resigned about a late-night trip to a nudie bar. True, it’s with Berna. But I would love to take Berna to a sleazy downtown club in the early hours, turn her loose on the performers and patrons, and then sit back and watch the fun.

  361. Phred22
    April 14th, 2011 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    DTM: Flash! Dennis is menacing someone. Stop presses. No, wait, it’s only a babysitter we’ll never see again. She’s distressed that she will actually have to do some parenting rather than simply put Dennis in bed and sneak her boyfriend in. Wait, I’m daydreaming again.

  362. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 14th, 2011 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    queekthread killah, run run run away!

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