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Willy ‘n Ethel, 10/21/04

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Here’s what I want out of you, Willy ‘n Ethel: Jokes about the many reasons that and ways in which Willy gets fired, jokes about how fat and/or unpleasant Ethel’s sister is, jokes about how stupid Willy is, jokes about how lazy Willy is, and jokes about how Ethel can’t believe she’s married to Willy. I also want passing mentions of the names of Willy and Ethel’s pets (Bondo and Dogmeat), and strips in which Willy attempts to teach his nephew something and only ends up illustrating his own ignorance. (I know this last type of joke falls into the category of “jokes about how stupid Willy is,” but I like these strips and feel that they deserve a separate mention.)

Now, here’s what I don’t want out of you: Jokes about feeding mountains of corpses, or perhaps still-living condemned human beings, into hellish industrial machinery in order to reprocesses the very flesh and bones of our fellow men and women into some mysterious end-product that we either knowingly or unknowingly consume, implicating each one of us in this awful crime and transforming existence into a ghastly cannibalistic deathscape.

I don’t really think that’s a lot to ask, honestly.