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Spider-Man, 1/13/05

When I did my first Spider-Man comic, almost a month ago now, I said, “Presumably the ass-kicking will begin in due time.” Oh, how naive I was! How, bitterly, bitterly wrong I have been proved to be! In that time we’ve had marital spats, a little aimless Web slinging, a press conference to announce the opening of new theme restaurant, and the firing of an incompetent waiter. The closest we came to ass-kicking was when Kraven brushed aside some no-doubt trained crocodiles. And now … this! “Cage of loneliness?” I have to sit through some camped-up supervillain’s attempts to flirt via ham-handed metaphors?

I tell you, there’d better be some damn ass-kicking soon, or Stan Lee will be getting a very nasty note.