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Shoe, 11/11/07

“These are perilous times to be refinancing your mortgage, Cosmo.” Ah, an auspicious beginning to any light-hearted journey into the Sunday funnies! But at least the Perfesser’s encounter with his mortgage lender is fairly straightforward. See, his name is “I. M. Usurious”! Which indicates that he is usurious! Ha! It’s a sharp and subtle commentary on modern mores. He’s also a buzzard, you’ll note. Because banks metaphorically feast on the flesh of the dead and dying, you see! (Or is it metaphorical? The world of Shoe, so much like ours but with anthropomorphized talking birds, always straddles the line between metaphor and nightmare.)

Family Circus, 11/11/07

The post-modern emotional desert in which the Keane kids gasp for sustenance is starkly illustrated today, as they can only interpret mom and dad’s attempt to have a genuine moment of romantic intimacy through the lens of the horrible pop cultural products of late-stage capitalism. A more realistic thing to shout at them might have been, “Hey, no getting frisky, you two! You can barely afford to feed all of us now as it is.”

And, just for the heck of it, let’s check in to see what’s going on over in Rex Morgan, M.D.!

On second thought, maybe let’s not.

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Garfield, 11/10/07

OK, Garfield, I thought you and I had a deal. An unspoken agreement. But now that you’ve gone and broken it, I think I need to spell out the terms.

Here’s how it works:

• I continue to read you, despite the fact that you’ve been built around the same half-dozen or so lame jokes for as long as I can remember and are a soulless corporate shell of a comic designed to sell adorable plush dolls and vaguely sarcastic greeting cards.
• And in return, all I ask is that you don’t make me look up any words in the God-damned dictionary.

Don’t let this happen again.

Mark Trail, 11/10/07

Ah, Johnny, you know that there’s no problem that can’t be solved in the high-stakes world of boutique, full-service wilderness tourism that can’t be solved with a double-barreled shotgun. As Bull Malone lies gut-shot and squirming in front of their tent, it’s going to dawn on those big-city businessmen that they’ve gotten way more than they bargained for. Somebody’s going to be getting a terrible review on TripAdvisor.com, I tell you what.

Beetle Bailey, 11/10/07

Today in Beetle Bailey: When second-generation artists rediscover characters created when the original artists read the Cliff Notes to Catch-22!

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Well, “review,” anyway. If I may be so bold as to quote faithful reader eyeballpupil, who posted this comment on the last thread:

You guys! Mark Trail Family Theatre was great. There was a bear, and hunky Mark Trail, and naughty sexy Kelly, and Josh! as Ranger Rick with a southern accent. The picture of the bear on the toilet was surprisingly topical. And a special guest appearance at the very end! I won’t spoil the surprise for those of you going to the Saturday shows, you’ll have a great time.

Thanks for your kind words, eyeballpupil, and thanks for coming! (By the way, eyeballpupil, are you the same person as faithful reader Livia [or possibly Olivia, there was a lot of ambient noise while we were talking] who I chatted with a bit last night? If not, then also: Hi Livia [or possibly Olivia]!)

So, there you have it: you’re coming, that’s settled. And, Baltimore-area fans: Faithful reader Minivet is taking the train in from out of town around 5 p.m. and wants to meet up with someone! Show your Charm City hospitality by making arrangements in the forum, or send me your contact info and I’ll forward your address onto him. (I actually met him briefly at SPX last month and he is a charming fellow.)