The Advanced Archive found 20 posts!

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Intelligent Life, 4/24/26

You could use Intelligent Life to do a whole in-depth analysis of how the position of the nerd has changed in American culture over the past couple decades: the strip’s nerdy main characters still have the chip on their shoulders of social outcasts who push against the grain with their insular hobbies and interests, but they now spend their days discussing the massive box office takes of hegemonic superhero franchises. The strip cast also includes “Barry,” on the left here, a beefy jock who mainly serves to illustrate the humiliation of the normie in today’s nerd-ruled world as he can’t get a date and is constantly failing at work. At least he “gets it” when it comes to Fridays. Fridays, am I right? The last refuge of the regular guy who likes wings and beer? Even the ascendant hardcore geek has to acknowledge that that’s pretty cool? I genuinely don’t know what this strip is supposed to be about, honestly.

Alice, 4/24/26

One of the fun (“fun”) little subplots in Alice is that Alice has a bunch of weird aliens living under her floorboards, and one of them is romantically obsessed with her. Anyway, did you know that these guys are here because they’re supposed to be stopping all the wars? And they’re not doing a good job, because Alice is so darn alluring? Damn you, Alice, you temptress! So much blood is on your sexy, sexy hands!

Dennis the Menace, 4/24/26

I’m sorry, man, but there’s no way you can turn being a responsible pet owner into an act of menacing. I don’t care how egregious a poop pun you make about it.

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Family Circus, 4/1/26

Happy April Fool’s day, everybody! As I’ve noted over the last few years, the “trick” the passage of time has played on me is my growing appreciation of the Family Circus’s whole deal, which is that the kids are annoying on purpose, like that’s the whole joke. Look at Ma Keane’s face here! She wants to die, and maybe also to kill!

Crankshaft, 4/1/26

If I’m remembering right, for a long time Lena was a never-seen off-panel character that the other characters at the bus depot would constantly complain about, and then we started seeing her in person and she was always depicted as a perfectly nice woman that everyone is unfathomably cruel to for no reason. Look, in this one she briefly believes they’re being nice to her! That’s the “prank”!

Pluggers, 4/1/26

At least that’s intelligible as a prank, though. Is the prank here … on us? Like we’re supposed to believe that Mr. Whipple sent a letter to Pluggers HQ from beyond the grave encouraging them to do a panel where his successor as Charmin spokesbeing comes into a plugger’s home and takes a huge dump? “Look, pal, you’re in the wrong house,” says the bear-man, in what is becoming less and less what anyone would consider a “prank.” “I don’t get all that excited about toilet paper. I appreciate its utility in keeping my butthole and buttcrack clean of feces, but I’m not really invested in it emotionally.”

Intelligent Life, 4/1/26

Not even going to engage with the prank content on this one. These guys know what movie tickets cost! They see movies in the theater all the time, and talk about box office numbers while they’re there! Instead, I just want to point out that in panel one Skip has responded to “Wow … it’s April Fool’s Day,” with “Woot!”, which is absurd. Nobody’s excited about April Fool’s Day. This is just another example of these losers responding to any cultural reference they recognize with a sort of Pavlovian noise of general approval. It says a lot about society, and it sickens me.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/13/26

Wow, this one’s a real emotional roller coaster. At first, we think Mud’s going to have to eat breakfast in his room again, but then, we’re reminded — Lorna Mae Mae is on the job as a waitress! Mud will be eating like a king in the cafe this morning! Sweet!

Intelligent Life, 3/13/26

Wow, this one’s a real emotional roller coaster. At first, we think that whichever one of the insufferable Intelligent Life guys this is has some kind of incurable disease or condition. But then it turns out that he’s just going to be poor, and won’t be able to afford comic books or Funko Pops or tickets to nerd movies anymore, which is honestly even more satisfying.

Pluggers, 3/13/26

Ha ha, pluggers are aging and in constant pain, and even their favorite songs from their youth are a cruel reminder of that fact! That’s not really much of a roller coaster at all, honestly, just sort of a constant forward movement in a single direction, which is towards death.

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Hi and Lois, 1/23/26

Now, if you only have a surface understanding of my whole deal, you’re going to read this and say, “Ooooh, Josh is going to make a joke about Hi and Lois having sex.” Absolutely wrong! Look at their near-panicked facial expressions in the first panel. I’m not sure what exactly is going on in the room to which they’ve retreated in panel two, but it’s not sex. Probably crying, if I had to guess.

Alice, 1/23/26

Speaking of facial expressions conveying negative emotions, from Alice’s stricken facial expression here I do not think we’re supposed to be taking the “Hoarder’s Hell” caption as being “fun” or “ironic”! Do you think living in a vast and mostly featureless void like the Aliceverse makes it more pleasant to be a hoarder, because you have infinite room to put all your stuff, or less pleasant, because there are no external brakes on your compulsion? Based on Alice’s whole vibe here, I’m thinking it’s the latter.

Intelligent Life, 1/23/26

If you want a picture of the future, imagine two absolutely insufferable dork-ass nerds saying “Got the reference!” back and forth to one another — forever.

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Slylock Fox, 1/21/26

One of the things that truly sets people apart from animals is that our enormous brains are too large when fully formed to pass through a human birth canal, which means that much of that brain formation happens after birth and we’re basically helpless for the first few years of life, unlike newborns of most species. A baby chicken would indeed “instinctively step upwards as the sand rises,” whereas a baby human would simply cry pathetically as the sand buried them. This may have been a particular advantage to the non-humans in their great rise during the Animalpocalypse, as even their very young could participate in their war of extermination against H. sapiens. The mechanism by which they gained sapience despite their tiny skulls is still unknown, and Count Weirdly should probably be putting his scientific acumen towards answering that question rather than trying to sell fake honey-making machines or whatever.

Intelligent Life, 1/21/26

Say what you will about Intelligent Life, the strip where a character will say in all seriousness that “2026 is going to be huge for movies,” and then use as a data point the upcoming release of the most bottom-dwelling “who on Earth is this for” garbage you can imagine, but at least it got me to research a little and learn that Skeletor will be played by box-office poison Jared Leto, which I have to say brightened my day a little.

Garfield, 1/21/26

Garfield’s contempt for Jon, Odie, and indeed most other characters in the Garfiverse is an integral part of his whole vibe. But is his contempt justified? That’s a whole different question. Today we learn that, within his own reality, an objective third-party source (an app, clearly the best determinant of truth) confirms his opinions on his superiority over others. Will this reinforcement of his beliefs unleash a wave of “cattitude” the likes of which the funny pages have never seen, to the delight of eight-year-olds everywhere?

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Gil Thorp, 1/9/26

Oh, you thought Gil got engaged because he was “in love” or “haunted by the specter of his mortality and eager to recapture a fleeting taste of youth” or whatever? Wrong! Like all great coaches, Gil is intensely competitive, and since his ex-wife is now a rival Valley Conference coach, he’s competing with her at all levels and at all times. Now, a less enlightened man would see getting engaged as a way to defeat his ex because she can no longer have him; but to Gil, getting married while Mimi strings along her current girlfriend would be the sweetest victory of all because it proves he’s better than her at getting married. In your face, Mimi! Who’s extremely divorced now?

Blondie, 1/9/26

Do you think that the Blondie writing staff gets burned out from churning out weird food verbiage like “holiday eating season” and “eating it forward” week after week? Or do they love it, constantly pushing the envelope with off-putting phrases like “one fat patty at a time,” because their relationship with food is profoundly disordered, just like the beloved comic strip character Dagwood Bumstead?

Intelligent Life, 1/9/26

I gotta disagree here; if my choices are seeing the unpleasant nerds of Intelligent Life discuss franchise movie box office numbers or watching them being hunted for sport, I will take the latter choice every day of the week.

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Intelligent Life, 11/19/25

For my sins, I have come to be able to recognize the various recurring characters in Intelligent Life, even if I often forget their names, and I can tell you that the guy in the background in panel three is not one of them. I think it would be good if more nameless background characters showed up to roll their eyes at the terrible punchlines in this strip, though. Maybe it would inspire enough shame to grind this whole enterprise to a halt!

Mary Worth, 11/19/25

A thousand miles away, at a boozy conference dinner, a disgruntled waiter was hovering over a tableful of academics, who in turn were trying not to stare at Ian Cameron as he stood facing away from them just out of earshot. “But that card has a $10,000 limit!” he hissed. “What do you mean it’s overdrawn? We heart pets? I don’t have any pets and I definitely don’t heart them! This has to be some kind of mistake! Please, I’m going to lose face in front of the people from Oberlin! I’m begging you!”

Dick Tracy, 11/19/25

“In our case, it was the opposite. Ozob was short here by now. He did the vacation and slowly entered the same province!”

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Blondie, 8/20/25

Blondie generally has its finger on the pulse of what old people are doing on the computer, which is why I’m a little disappointed to see that they’re fobbing off AI psychosis onto the kids today. Are the kids today forming unhealthy relationships with ChatGPT and its ilk? Sure, but it turns out that old people are also getting into the “convincing myself the robot is a pretty lady and she wants to have sex with me” game, with tragic results. Anyway, Cookie’s statement that not only do she and her friends talk to chatbots but that “it also talks back to them” is aggressively uncanny, it makes me feel like someone is trying too hard to convince us about their ignorance of this subject. “Ha ha, the chatbot talks back to you? What will they think of next? Will it be a sexy anime girl AI? Uh, I mean, that’s what I heard, from other kids.”

Dennis the Menace, 8/20/25

Gotta love how depressed both Henry and his guest look here. “Huh,” Mr. Holt is thinking in panel one, “I thought Henry liked me. I thought inviting me over here was the start of us becoming real friends, but he’s shit-talking me to his kid so I guess not.” Meanwhile, Henry in panel two is wracked by self-loathing. “Why did I say that? I never meant to hurt his feelings. Now he thinks I’m a petty gossip. I’m a fool!” Menace fucking accomplished, is what I’m saying.

Intelligent Life, 8/20/25

The syndicated newspaper comic strip Intelligent Life is usually about incredibly surface-level takes on geek media and culture. But what if instead it did the most generic jokes possible about office politics and “sales” or whatever? Would that be even less interesting? “Yes,” says everyone who’s read today’s strip.

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Herb and Jamaal, 7/30/25

It seems like just yesterday that Herb stormed into Rev. Croom’s office, declaring that he was ambivalent about believing in a creator God whom he couldn’t perceive with his senses. In fact, it was 11 years ago, but I guess that’s practically yesterday in newspaper comics terms, ha ha! Anyway, in the subsequent decade, it seems Herb has resolved his doubts by means of Pascal’s wager, though I have to say that “liv[ing] in the netherworld” is a pretty tame euphemism for “experiencing eternal physical torment as a damned soul in hell,” and maybe not really as motivating as he thinks.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/30/25

“Speaking of which, uh, that’s not your legal name, right? Like, I figure at some point before we get married I’m going to finally get to see some ID, and I’ve really had my fingers crossed that we’ve been working with a Mud Mountain/Fergus situation here.”

Intelligent Life, 7/30/25

Actually, fellas, most of the shareholders of Warner Bros. Discovery and the Walt Disney Company are institutional investors like pension and mutual funds, along with individual retail investors who are making decisions based on the companies’ financial positions rather than fandom affinity, so I’m not sure “the geek community” is the right word choice in this situation!

Pluggers, 7/30/25

Hey, buddy. You think a lot about peeing? Or pooping? When you look at a bathroom, do you think to yourself, “Do I have to pee or poop right now? Might as well give it a shot. Better safe than sorry!” Well, I’m sorry to inform you that you are, canonically, a plugger.

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Mother Goose and Grimm, 7/21/25

You all know that “fire hydrants are like toilets, to a dog” is one of my pet peeves, but I frankly find it a million times less objectionable than I do “toilet water is like alcohol, to a dog, in that, among other things, it reduces their inhibitions and makes them more sexually aggressive.” People know the water in a toilet is just regular water, right? What do they think is in there to make Grimm here drunk? Is it piss? Do they think you can get drunk by drinking piss?

Intelligent Life, 7/21/25

Love to go to the movies with my pal, ask “So what did you think of [full movie title, including the colon]” as the credits roll, and then listen to him give some half-baked rambling metaphor that’s about box office numbers or maybe media coverage. That’s what the beautiful art of film is all about, to me!

Between Friends, 7/21/25

You know the old saying: “Show, don’t tell. And if you can’t show, tell in the form of showing a conversation between two people about the thing you’re trying to show. And if you can’t do that, show one of the two people summarizing the conversation in thought balloons as they’re having it.”

Family Circus, 7/21/25

“So how come you’re still talking instead of shutting up, dumbass?” –Sam, probably

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Intelligent Life, 7/18/25

Look, buddy, John Montagu, 4th Earl of Sandwich, also liked to engage in marathon gaming sessions, but he forced his servants to put nutritious slices of meat between pieces of high-fiber bread so he could keep at it for hours, and he didn’t leave that legacy to the world so you could stuff your maw with unhealthy chips and candy and use your entertainment proclivities as an excuse. Anyway, I was going to say that this lady never asked for any of this information, but I guess she kind of did by remarking on this set of purchases in the first panel. I’ve always assumed that if you work in customer service you want to minimize your interactions with the public to the barest necessity to avoid being subject to these kinds of conversations, though really that’s a good rule for being out of the house and seeing strangers in general.

Mary Worth, 7/18/25

“How wonderful for them! They have their overbearing, mobility impaired father helping them schlep boxes around instead of professional movers, just like everybody dreams about. Welp, smell ya later!”

Wizard of Id, 7/18/25

The final thought balloon here really elevates this one for me. You think this medieval (?) pharmacist (??) is enjoying any of this? Wrong! He’s trapped in a broken system, just like everybody else!

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Wizard of Id, 6/4/25

As far as I know, the Wizard of Id has never added any vaguely medieval monk/priest type characters to its vaguely medieval setting, so that leaves as an open question what “sweet lord” the Wizard is addressing in panel two. Is it the dark lord of magic, from whom he receives his eldritch power but whom he finds terrifying and repellent, like this hideous fish? Or is he merely addressing his sovereign the King of Id, from whom all sovereignty flows and who has the right of first refusal to every fish caught in his realm’s rivers and lakes, even the ugly ones?

Flash Gordon, 6/4/25

The new Flash Gordon strip is still doing its thing — which is to say, having great art and fun stories that I don’t talk about very much on my blog but rest assured, they’re there. Today I mostly wanted to draw your attention to the “NEXT:” narration box in panel four, which is possibly the greatest narration box of all time.

Intelligent Life, 6/4/25

Ha ha, remember two days ago, when I complained about how vague and nonspecific Mike’s dialogue was? “He should actually name the geek media franchises he’s talking about,” I said. “He definitely wouldn’t use that as an opportunity to talk about which fictional blue creatures he would or would not have sex with,” I added, like a fool.

Alice, 6/4/25

Alice’s friend, that’s not what that means at all! This is very bad advice!

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Mary Worth, 6/2/25

Did you know that the psychological “fight or flight” response is more accurately called “fight, flight, freeze, or fawn”? I think it comes as no surprise to those of us who (sadly) know them all too well that the Westons, having belatedly realized that they are in the presence of an apex predator, have gone the “freeze” route, hoping that if they sit very still and offer the most weaksauce and unrealistic excuses for not eating mushrooms imaginable, she’ll lose interest and wander off. The really sad thing is that the extremely on the nose Fatal Attraction reference is lost on Wilbur and Dawn, since they’re both philistines whose media diets consist of watching old Evander Holyfield fights on YouTube and “clean eating” influencer content on TikTok that comes right up to the edge of promoting anorexia without violating the terms of service, respectively.

Intelligent Life, 6/2/25

Speaking of philistines with terrible media diets, this strip would’ve been a good opportunity to name some of the movies, comics, conventions, or cartoons that are coming out in 2025, but instead Intelligent Life decided to simply … not? I guess what’s giving Mike life is not the movies or comics themselves, but just the reassurance that this particular form of cultural and economic production will continue at least through the end of the year.

Andy Capp, 6/2/25

Was it Cappverse canon before this point that Andy has a big juicy booty? If not, it is now, and I for one am not complaining.

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Shoe, 3/10/25

Man, it would be concerning if you were a bird parent from a species that primarily ate fish and your son didn’t want to eat fish, especially considering that, bird-wise, the main way you get fish for your kid is to eat it yourself and then barf it up for them. I can see why you’d write a pleading letter to the editor of the local paper, though it’s pretty funny that said editor would just be like “ditch your ungrateful kid and get with a cat instead.” This may be affected by said editor’s species: Shoe is, as helpfully pointed out by a surprisingly comprehensive table on the Shoe (comic strip) Wikipedia article, a purple martin, a largely insectivore species in contrast to his fish-happy employees Cosmo Fishhawk and Loon. Everything else aside, domestic and feral cats are also one of the main predators of bird species, but the purple martin’s current conservation status is “Least Concern,” so I guess he’s not too worked up about that either.

Heathcliff, 3/10/25

Now that I’m returning to Heathcliff on the regular, I must report that it’s still following its late-era dream logic to surprising and disquieting places. Heathcliff hates dogs, sure. The local dogcatchers are a tight-knit society with their own social institutions, I buy that. Said dogcatcher community respects Heathcliff because of his aforementioned hatred of dogs, makes sense. And so they … get lower back tattoos of Heathcliff’s face? To signal all this information to one another, sexually? Yes, the chain of reasoning holds together, but if the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?

Intelligent Life, 3/10/25

I once cruelly but accurately described Intelligent Life as being “about a number of unpleasant people who are obsessed with ‘nerd’ franchises (i.e., most of modern film and TV entertainment) in the most boring way possible.” I guess I should’ve added a compliment about its one redeeming feature, which is that it’s almost never about pissing and shitting. Too late now, I guess!

Pluggers, 3/10/25

Oh, you’re telling me that a plugger will substitute lower-cost calories when the price of a favorite foodstuff goes up? Are they ever so special and financially rational? Should we tell everyone? Should we throw a party? Should we invite Professor Hal Varian, who’s written extensively on economic substitution effects?

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Family Circus, 1/17/25

OK, I know comics are, by their nature, cartoonish, and there isn’t always that much variety between faces so other characteristics are used as cues to ID characters, but when I first saw this panel I immediately thought that the lady behind Dolly has Ma Keane’s face and now I can’t shake it. It’s Ma Keane in a weird wig and a weirder fake chin! It’s like one of those movies where Tilda Swinton plays multiple characters (which also makes me think that Tilda Swinton could plausibly play Ma Keane, which would be terrifying and amazing).

Intelligent Life, 1/17/25

Damn, Dark Haired Intelligent Life Character Whose Name Is Not In The Dialogue Today And I Don’t Remember It And Refuse To Look It Up: your friend Mike sounds like he wants to do drugs with you, which frankly would be the coolest thing that ever happened in this dork-ass comic strip. And you suggest watching Doctor Who instead, like a damn nerd! I love Doctor Who and never do drugs myself and even I’m kind of embarrassed for you.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/17/25

God, I love the way Michelle is waggling her wedding ring at Summer in the first panel. “Oh, are you sad and lonely at home by yourself? Couldn’t be me! Check out the bling! Big spouse haver over here!”

Curtis, 1/17/25

WARNING: GREG WILKINS KNOWS HE IS IN A COMIC STRIP AND IS AWARE OF THE STRUCTURE OF HIS FICTIONAL UNIVERSE, CONTAINMENT BREACH IMMINENT

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Intelligent Life, 11/8/24

I can’t believe I’m saying this about Intelligent Life, a comic strip that’s usually about unpleasant bug-eyed people saying fandom words at each other, but today’s strip is actually based on fairly complex semiotic play. Rather than simply having a conversation, Skippy, and, uh, the other guy are talking about the sort of conversation they expect to have, while simultaneously undermining those expectations. Skippy’s reply being put in quote marks, indicating we’re at least one layer of metanarrative deep here, is a particularly effective device.

Hagar the Horrible, 11/8/24

Speaking of narrative, if they had put an eggheaded intellectual like me in charge of today’s Hagar the Horrible, it would’ve been about how the canonically illiterate Hagar believes that his people’s lore should be preserved via their ancient oral tradition of poetry, and is horrified to see Hamlet reading it out of some book. But you could also do a joke about how he’s afraid of spiders, I guess. I mean, why not, if you want to. I don’t like spiders either, for the record.

Mary Worth, 11/8/24

Incredible visual storytelling here: in panel two, we discover that this whole time Wilbur was standing just in front of these ladies, ready to start manically ranting about how great Mary and her food are, certainly better than the sad Lean Cuisine meals he microwaves every night and baptizes with his tears — but only the sudden pullback of our viewpoint reveals his face, in a real jump scare.

Dennis the Menace, 11/8/24

Wait, doesn’t the “world’s best dad” formulation imply that there aren’t any more like him? Does … does Dennis not know that other people have dads, or what?

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Mary Worth, 10/14/24

“You’re right, Mary! I made a decision meant to avoid pain of the type I had suffered before, but now, under your careful guidance, I’ve learned that was a mistake. I’m ready to marry yet another emotionally unavailable workaholic! I’m ready to be a widow twice over! Thank you, Mary, for breaking my spirit!”

Intelligent Life, 10/14/24

Sure, this comic strip conflates the zoot suit, popularized by African- and Mexican-Americans in the 1940s, with a suit cut in a totally different style that was worn by the Joker as portrayed by Cesar Romero, a man of Spanish and Cuban descent, which isn’t great. On the other hand, it got me to do a little Googling and discover that for a mere $950 you could be the owner of a genuine “Jokers Wild Purple” zoot suit, so who’s to say if it’s good or bad?

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/14/24

I kind of love Silas’s emotion affect in the second panel here: he’s both pleased and a little puzzled. Have Snuffy and his fellow primitive denizens of Hootin’ Holler finally developed the ability to understand and even sympathize with the emotions of others? Silas had never thought he’d see the day, but his store is the lone outpost of globally-scaled free-market capitalism in this otherwise backwards region, and he’s ready to profit off this local development with the sale of some of the sympathy cards he ordered a while back, just in case.

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Blondie, 6/5/24

The number one thing that makes me feel like an old person is my stiff right knee and hip, but number two, coming pretty close behind, is the fact that so many things, ranging from thoughtful essays to instruction manuals, that 10 years ago would’ve been written out as text now only exist in the form of YouTube videos. I don’t want to watch a video! I read very quickly and find videos that mostly consist of someone just talking to be annoying! Often I am in public and do not want to annoy everyone around me! Sometimes they’re good for real how-to instructional stuff but more often than not a written essay with some pictures would be just as good if not better and also would be easier to search through quickly to find the relevant bits. Anyway, my point is that I read today’s Blondie and immediately thought, “Finally, Blondie accurately depicts what young people are like for once — they all think you should learn everything from YouTube and it fucking sucks,” but then I instantly recoiled in horror. Is this what I’ve become? Someone who cheers when Blondie sticks it to the kids these days? My feeling of deep shame almost, but not quite, wiped all thoughts of how much I hate most internet video from my mind.

Intelligent Life, 6/5/24

I guess I haven’t talked about what Intelligent Life’s whole deal is in the few times I’ve posted it here, so: it’s whole deal is that it’s about a number of unpleasant people who are obsessed with “nerd” franchises (i.e., most of modern film and TV entertainment) in the most boring way possible. Anyway, today’s strip pissed me off because, yes, Meta’s use of user content for its dumb AI offerings is bad, and Emperor Palpatine is bad, but Emperor Palpatine never did anything like the real stuff Meta is doing that they’re talking about here. I saw those movies. He mostly did evil space wizard stuff and evil space politics stuff. He barely ever even used computers! Can we please be serious here.

Family Circus, 6/5/24

Without telling his wife, Big Daddy Keane has been taking Billy to one of those barbershops that hasn’t “gone woke” and starting obeying Big Government’s oppressive laws against trepanation, in an attempt reduce the internal pressure responsible for his eldest son’s grotesquely shaped head. The treatments are unpleasant, but they’re starting to show results!

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/24/24

OK, fine, I admit it, I’m a hypocrite: after many years of complaining that Rex Morgan, M.D., doesn’t do high-stakes medical drama, all of the sudden it’s been doing high-stakes medical drama and I haven’t been talking about it. Because it’s drama about an adorable dog, and that’s too high stakes! I don’t want a fictional dog to suffer! I want to see more stuff like the strip’s off-model Jughead knockoff developing a sudden inability to eat sandwiches! Anyway, the dog is going to be fine, according to this competent medical professional. There’s plenty to criticize about the current state of the medical profession, and now I’m going to add “I can’t bring a box of whatever I just ate too much of to the doctor and say ‘my tummy hurts’ and get a diagnosis” to the list.

Intelligent Life, 4/24/24

Speaking of your tummy hurting … you guys ever heard of DoorDash? DoorDash … for when you don’t want to cook food, and would rather just order it instead. DoorDash! [punchline TK]

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Gil Thorp, 12/15/23

Oh, wow, I think this is the first year we’re ever seeing ice hockey take its rightful place in the pantheon of Mudlark sports! And it’s truly a line up of large, beefy boys signing up to participate. You know, I grew up in Buffalo, a huge hockey town, but the school district didn’t run a varsity hockey league because of the liability issues, so instead we had a “club league” that was technically not affiliated with or run by the district, but each team only had students from one school and was coached by one of the school’s gym teachers and had pep rallies before big games in our auditorium. The uniforms were a different color from the other teams, which I guess provided enough plausible deniability? Anyway, the Valley Conference isn’t even doing that sort of charade, though this is the same state where for-profit prisons can legally pit juvenile delinquents against each other on the gridiron, so I guess aggressive tort reform long ago replaced the civil court system with “do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.”

Hi and Lois, 12/15/23

Hey, Hi and Lois, it’s almost the weekend! Lighten up a little, you do not need to go this hard with the Mr. Wavering strips.

Intelligent Life, 12/15/23

Oh no

Oh no

Who’s gonna tell her