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Hagar the Horrible, 1/5/24

Many medieval Scandinavians communities relied on herding for meat and milk, so controlling wolves and other canines was a task entrusted to only the most skillful hundafangari, or “dog-catchers.” This role would be assigned by a vote in the thing, the traditional Norse assembly that represented one of the earliest democratic bodies in northern Europe. Truly, Hagar’s schoolmate has brought honor to his clan by achieving this exalted position, and he wields his ritual net of honor, woven from the finest thread, with great and justified pride!

Pluggers, 1/5/24

Speaking of dogs, or bears, or what have you, today’s Pluggers is obviously about how if you’re a fisherman, you’d have a mailbox shaped like a fish (I guess? I mean, would you? Would you really?) but because the plugger in the panel is himself shaped like a bear, I can’t help imagining that in the Pluggers world of apparently all mammalian human-animal hybrids, the equivalent of a furry would be someone who likes to dress up as a reptile or fish, and so Andy Bear here (YES THEY HAVE OFFICIAL NAMES AND YES, FOR MY SINS, I KNOW THEM) is letting the whole neighborhood know that he’s a “scaly” and proud of it.

Hi and Lois, 1/5/24

I mean … yes? You would count that? It’s one of the layers you’re wearing? That’s how layers work???? Chip, why are you saying any of this, do you think this is flirting, do you think not counting your t-shirt as one of the layers of clothing you have on is what “game” is, what the hell

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 12/24/23

I guess real Snuffheads like you and me don’t need reminding, but the point of the throwaway panels at the top of this strip is to emphasize that the Smifs live in grinding, generational poverty, which might explain why Snuffy gives a little joke as a gift to his old friend Barney Google. Without those throwaway panels? He just kinda looks like an asshole, not gonna lie.

Panels from Hagar the Horrible, 12/24/23

Speaking of assholes, the throwaway panels of Hagar the Horrible, makes it clear that Santa hates Hagar the Horrible. He simply despises him, for his many cookie-eating crimes!

Panel from Slylock Fox, 12/24/23

Meanwhile, Slylock is delighted that on Christmas Eve, to celebrate the birth of the Prince of Peace, his old nemesis Shady Shrew has arrived to enjoy the holiday blessings. He’s delighted because he’s about to throw cuffs on Shady right there in front of his … daughter? niece? … and drag him down to jail and book him. Justice doesn’t take a holiday, Shady!

But your humble Comics Curmudgeon does, in fact, take a holiday, and will be offline until January 1st or 2nd or whenever the mood strikes me to return from my Chrismukwaanza slumber. Relax with your loved ones and some eggnog, and then get ready for yet more comics mocking in 2024! See ya on the other side!

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/13/23

The real victim of this whole big late-plot Mirakle Method plagiarism reveal will not be Rene, who will manage to weasel out of serious consequences via some method that is as unlikely as it is uninteresting, but rather Mud, who feels that the Mirakle Method has genuinely helped him become a better person and is barely hanging on by a thread as it becomes increasingly clear that Buzzy and Rene are in full grift mode. I predict he’ll either relapse and engage in a run of antisocial behavior that will make pretending to shit himself onstage look Nobel Peace Prize-worthy, or he’ll transfer his fanatical and violent allegiance to an extremely puzzled Mr. Ollman, who’ll have to try to remember if any of his enemies are still alive

Hagar the Horrible, 12/13/23

Sure, Hagar the Horrible makes the late Carolingian period seem fun, what with all the violence, but have you considered the drawbacks, like the lack of robust financial institutions?