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Ziggy, 2/22/07

Oh, man! Zing! Who else but Ziggy would dare to make this sort of cutting, politically-charged joke about the Savings and Loan scandal? And only twenty years after the last of the fallout ended, too! Pow! Preach on, brother! Somewhere, Neil Bush’s ears are burning! And this time, it’s not something he caught from a Thai prostitute.

Mark Trail, 2/22/07

“That’s right! Mark will be none the wiser about the fact that I peed in his lake! I’ll be sipping piña coladas on a weirdly nonspecific tropical island before you know it!”

Seriously, I don’t know what’s more stilted and artificial: that Dan is narrating his evil plotting aloud, or that Dan is narrating his evil plotting aloud in a weird, circumlocutory way that preserves suspense about what exactly his evil plot is. On the other hand, maybe the whole point of this exercise has been to get that sexy second panel drawing of him shirtless, dripping wet, and perfectly coifed out there. If so, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, baby.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/22/07

“Yes, let’s go take a look … at my vagina!”

…

OK, I think I’ve gone about as far with this as I can.

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Dennis the Menace, 2/15/07

Can anyone explain to me what Dennis is supposed to be doing in this panel? Is he riding his chair like a horsey? Is that it? That doesn’t seem menacing so much as insane. If he were swinging the chair around at the heads of the other children, that would be menacing.

I note that Dennis’ chair does not have a little desk attachment like the other children’s. Perhaps he ripped it off and flung at someone. That’d be menacing, though apparently The Man doesn’t want to show it to us.

Mark Trail, 2/15/07

“Yeah, I did a lot of foolish things back then! Like take advantage of the opportunities afforded by my military service to learn an exciting and interesting trade that would allow me to get high-paying jobs in civilian life!”

Does Sally ever get to decide things for herself? Dan may have released his death grip on her upper arms, but it looks like he’s got a hold that’s just as strong on her soul. It may be that his raw sexual charisma has her under his spell — check out those pecs in panel two! That is one well-fitted turtleneck.

Judge Parker, 2/15/07

OH, SNAP! FEEL THE BURN, MME. SPENCER!

If it turns out that it never occurred to Abbey and Neddy that a French art school might conduct its classes in French, I will be very, very happy. “But … but … I bought a beret! I can’t believe you expect me to do more to fit in!”

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Gil Thorp, 2/12/07

Sometimes, you just need to go with your strengths. Since everyone in Gil Thorp already looks like the shuffling, grey-skinned undead, it’s perfectly logical that they start bleeding profusely from the head while looking vaguely uneasy. Panel one reminds of me of the horrifying scene in the second Star Trek movie when that eel thing crawled out of Chekov’s ear, and it would probably be just as traumatizing if it were drawn at all realistically.

Mark Trail, 2/12/07

Sweet Jesus, Cherry has never looked scarier than she has in panel two. Note the blue hair combed forward to mask her freakish, bulbous forehead. She’s just an inch or so of foundation away from looking like Tammy Faye Baker.

Since Dan seems to have learned everything about fishing from magazine articles, I’m really looking forward to his encounter with the viscera-stained reality. “Hey, what are you doing to that fish? Wait, did you just use ‘gut’ as a verb? AAAHHHHH!”

Apartment 3-G, 2/12/07

When this weekend began (about three and a half weeks ago) I expressed my suspicions about Margo’s schedule. Now I’m even more dubious that a party planner would have a schedule that has her arriving home from Long Island early Monday morning, unless “party planner” is code for “prostitute” and “Long Island” is code for “the Port Authority bus terminal.”

In panel three, Tommie is going to hold that smug facial expression as long as she can, but eventually she will have to admit that her big weekend involved making out with a pencil-mustachioed theater impresario who forgot her name, and then giving her phone number to a shy guy she didn’t like. And then Margo will laugh and laugh and laugh.

For Better Or For Worse, 2/12/07

I am all in favor of harassing and abusing Michael Patterson by any means available. I’m not sure that I would have started out by shouting things at the top of my lungs directly into his face, but I’m willing to wait and see where Weed’s going with this.