Comment of the Week

I'm really uncomfortable with the way Truck is breaking the fourth wall here. 'Are you this guy's father? You, the reader? Well, if I remember my Roland Barthes then, yes, indeed, you could be described as a metaphorical parent to both of us...’

Spunky The Wonder Squid

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Marvin, 3/8/15

Ha ha, it’s funny because Marvin holds his grandmother and her affection for him in contempt, but pretends he loves her because he wants cookies! You know what, maybe go back to the poop jokes, they’re less grim.

Dennis the Menace, 3/8/15

Ha ha, it’s funny because Dennis almost got this baby killed! The real menace is whoever just dropped this toddler off at the Mitchells’ house and then took off into the night, along with Dennis’s parents.

Crankshaft, 3/8/15

This is the kind of Daylight Savings Crankshaft enjoys! The other kind, the kind that the U.N. cooked up to weaken American vitality and sap our precious bodily fluids — that kind he’s not a big fan of.

Hagar the Horrible, 3/8/15

Ha ha, environmentalists, amiright? Always trying to save nature, despite the fact that nature is evil and must be destroyed!

Panel from the Lockorns, 3/8/15

If there’s one thing Leroy has learned from his many years on this Earth, it’s that life is terrible and death is preferable in every way.

Panels from Judge Parker, 3/8/15

Are you guys ready for the Erotic Education of Neddy Spencer? Because it’s definitely happening.

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Six Chix, 3/7/15

“Hey man, what if, like, what we think of as ‘God’ is really just a much more powerful being who watches over us the way we watch over animals? ‘The Lord is my shephard,’ right? But, get this, what if, like, God wants something from us, man? What if, like, He’s harvesting something from us, and we don’t even know it, just like those poor chickens don’t know what we’re doing with the eggs, man.”

[takes a huge bong hit]

[is a sophomore in college]

Dennis the Menace, 3/7/15

Dennis, meanwhile, is here to liberate these chickens. Few things are more menacing than revolution.

Mark Trail, 3/7/15

Oh snap, Mark Trail will see your “let’s foster an orphaned deer” and raise you a “let’s foster an orphaned moose”! Do not try to muscle in on Mark Trail’s insane animal storylines, capisce?

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GUYS, with literally zero ado, here comes the comment of the week:

“It’s pretty fantastic how Slylock is holding his hands out, imploring the assorted creatures to rely on their capacity for reason, as they march right past him with dollars already out and ready to be spent. But the next time Slick Smitty comes along with some fantastic claim about the polar bears he met at the South Pole, who will they plead with to solve the crime? ‘It’s barely worth throwing pearls of trivia before the swine of this forest,’ he’ll mutter while Max coughs and tries to subtly point out that there’s a talking swine nearby.” –Dan

And the very hilarious runners up!

“Like pale grubs given human features the Family Circus children slither across the bed, poking the clammy appendages they call hands into daddy Keane’s eyes and ears, demanding sustenance. Perhaps if he feigns death they’ll spare him and take is wife instead. But no, they can sense the ruse. There will be no escape from their doughy pun-filled maws while he still lives.” –EscapeZeppelin

“Is that a single bed where Bil is sleeping? They’ve wised up four kids too late.” –Midtown

“Please tell me that somewhere off-panel there’s a box labeled ‘Gordon’ and the little marionette is stuffed neatly in there with an iPad.” –Hans Peter Gertje, on Facebook

“Hello, dear. Just thought I’d invade your mind for a sec. Wow, it’s all sepia tone in here! Is this the way the world looks to you? No wonder you don’t trust yourself to drive; I imagine traffic lights are quite a challenge. Anyway, what’s with all the boxes? You’re not moving them into my place, are you? I thought you weren’t a hoarder, and all you need is your flute. What else are you hiding from me, a pet monkey? Well, that’s it for now. I have an appointment to get this troublesome hair in my nostrils trimmed again. Boy howdy, it grows like wildfire — I haven’t smelled a single thing in years!” –made of wince

Bowl haircut, bowl helmet … this guy is like one of those ‘theme’ villains on the Batman TV show. All he needs is henchmen wearing black sweatshirts with white lettering: ‘Tie him up, Mixing, you and Cereal go down to the dock, and take … take…’ ahh, nuts, this is much harder than it’s worth.” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“The Ghost Who Runs a Eugenics Program” –Liam

‘Mr. Moore?’ That seems a bit formal for … hmm. Come to think of it, what is the correct form of address for the widower of your bio-mom? I think if I were Darrin, I’d solve this conundrum by never talking to Les at all.” –Horace Broon

“So I’m assuming this is the work of that weirdo special effects guy we met earlier in the story, because obviously Peter can’t plan this far in advance for anything. I guess this might just raise more questions, like ‘why?’ or ‘how?’ or ‘um, what?’, but I’m sure we’ll be treated to some world-class hand-waving for the rest of the week.” –pugfuggly

“If the last two panels of Judge Parker took place on Jeopardy!: ‘What is the ending to the phrase: old enough to be my…’ Neddy’s Friend: ‘Demise!’ Wine Bottle: ‘Pop!’ ‘Wine Bottle is correct.'” –Wrong Way Up

I looked at the full moon, but nothing’s happening still. I don’t think Daddy’s Lunar Destruction Ray works at all! The U.N. will never pay us the ransom now!” –Voshkod

Who’d guess a film could make such a mess? Just the people who saw Green Lantern! DOH HO HO HO!” –Chyron HR

“Sean is already proving himself to be a most considerate husband, as he takes care to punch the word ‘knees’ to make sure his new bride gets the joke. (The joke is that he’s super old and feeble and probably not long for this world. HA!)” –Joe Blevins

Certain Dick Tracy characters look like they went into a costume shop and said ‘Give me exactly one item from every outfit you have.'” –Jack loves comics

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