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Hey, kids, stupid real work is going to push back any new comics until late this evening, but I do have a question for all the smart people I know read this blog. What do you all know about podcasting? I’m specifically interested in finding out more about (a) equipment you use, particularly gadgets for recording phone conversations and (b) companies that help do advertising sales on podcasts. Feel free to email me at bio@jfruh.com with information, or just put it in the comments if you’re so inclined.

Oh, and also: Coming soon, the Comics Curmudgeon podcast! Assuming I can figure out how to record phone interviews and sell advertising on it.

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Sally Forth, 5/14/08

Ah ha, now we see why Ted Forth was so sad to leave his minimum wage retail job and return to the world of respectable, salaried employment. When we last saw him hawking Chinese-made choking hazards to media-oversaturated youth, he was wearing a humiliatingly bright orange vest. But since then, the toy store has apparently switched their vests to black, and now Ted can pretend to be Han Solo every day when he goes to work, making the Kessel Run in his Chevy Aveo in less than twelve parsecs.

By the way, that “up, up, down down” jibber-jabber is apparently some kind of video game reference, and Vampire Weekend is apparently some kind of indie rock band. Today’s Sally Forth made me feel old and out of touch, and there are few more depressing sentences in the English language than “Today’s Sally Forth made me feel old and out of touch.”

Apartment 3-G, 5/14/08

The world of illegal drugs is full of dramatic possibilities. You can build a tense and exciting story out of the cat-and-mouse game played out between drug dealers and law enforcement, or among the various shady players in the drug underground. You could take a hard-nosed look at the way that drug use and addiction affect people’s lives and relationships; or you could expand your scope and see how drug use and drug laws affect society as a whole.

You could also just do a sitcom-level series of “Gosh! Where can I hide my ‘dope’?” gags, which is obviously where Apartment 3-G is going with this.

Hi and Lois, 5/14/08

I have to admit that I find the fact that Ditto is just sitting in a cardboard box for no reason pretty hilarious. Maybe that pamphlet Dot’s reading outlines FedEx’s shipping rates, and she has a plan that will make sure that all of the upcoming birthday gifts are for her.

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Funky Winkerbean, 5/13/08

If I’m remembering correctly, the Tragically Ironic Hearing Loss storyline that led to Harry Dinkle’s retirement took place before the decade-long timejump. Since his constant mopey presence around the house has been driving his wife up the wall since day one, she’s no doubt well and truly insane by now. This may explain why she’s harassing a school board official about her personal problems, or why she feels a need to refer to her husband by his full name, including middle initial, in casual conversation. As Harriet’s already admitted that she’s crazy, I hope the school board president is desperately pressing the panic button under his desk, before she turns violent.

Mark Trail, 5/13/08

We all know that Mark Trail only cares about humans to the extent that they threaten wildlife habitat or get punched by Mark, but even by the standards of this strip the handling of little Madeline’s “condition” is shockingly bonkers. Has anyone involved in the production of this strip encountered the modern medical system in any way, shape, or form? What the hell kind of doctor looks at a comatose little girl, scratches his chin thoughtfully, and then writes PUPPY half-legibly on his prescription pad? The kind that gets generous kickbacks from the American Kennel Club, that’s what kind.

Blondie, 5/13/08

Some clever Photoshopper needs to change the dialog in this strip so that Elmo and his towheaded little friend are simply demanding money from Dagwood and threatening to beat his legs with that baseball bat if he doesn’t comply. It would explain his typical but still odd lope in the third panel.

Family Circus, 5/13/08

“But then, most paper money has been up people’s noses, so it’s kind of a mixed bag.”