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Crock, 1/9/18

I got into a Twitter discussion last week about what the deal is with Crock exactly, what with its creator having died in 2011 and then his son, after briefly running the strip, deciding he didn’t want to keep it going. I guess the consensus is that what we’re getting are reruns, but there are some updates to the dialogue to keep the strip “fresh.” Like, the “4” in today’s final panel seems pretty obviously to be in a different handwriting from the rest of the dialogue, presumably because this strip originally appeared in 2001 when PlayStation 2s were all the rage. It’s honestly amazing that someone would go through the trouble of making sure the most current PlayStation model is reflected in the dialogue but not, say, question the premise of the strip, which is that home video game consoles and pay toilets are even in the remotely same category of thing, and decide to just pull another Crock from the presumably infinite quantity of Crocks in the archive instead.

Gil Thorp, 1/9/18

Hmm, who could the mysterious billboard-aggressor be? Let’s take a closer look at that “E” in “fire”:

And then compare it to the “E” in “December” on the wall of Gil’s office:

And, well, there you have it! Find your calendar-maker and you have tracked down your mysterious … wait, what’s that you say? Fonts are widely used and commercially available? Also, the billboard guy put his URL right on the billboard. Well, I still think my font thing is relevant, thank you.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/9/18

Oh hell yes, Rex is going to have to deal with some sullen little twerp named “Brayden” for the duration of his flight to Phoenix! I know I complain about the slow pace of this strip, but I sincerely hope that this storyline lasts for months.

Pajama Diaries, 1/9/18

Say, wouldn’t it be interesting if you were forced to look at your grandchildren’s dick pics for all eternity, in hell? Just something to ponder!

Slylock Fox, 1/9/18

WAIT ARE THOSE GIANT MICE OR IS THAT A VERY TINY ELEPHANT

I’M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO THINK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE FOR WEEKS

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Dustin, 1/8/19

It may not have been obvious from the Dustins I’ve showcased here but the gimmick of Dustin is that Dustin is a 23-year-old college graduate who has moved back in with his parents and is having Failure To Launch problems. As a Gen-Xer, I am a neutral party in the raging war between Baby Boomers and Millennials, and I hereby declare that Dustin is really shitty in its treatment of young people! Like surely there is humor to be mined from this conflict of worldviews but instead we get things like today, “Ha ha, youths can’t hold down a job because they just spontaneously fall asleep all the time! Meanwhile, the ADULTS who MADE THIS COUNTRY WHAT IT IS TODAY are going to enjoy some LEGITIMATE HIGHBROW CULTURE.”

Gil Thorp, 1/8/19

I appreciate it when bit players in the comics really give it their all in the one or two panels they appear. It’s subtle, but I’m particularly enjoying the “ain’t I a stinker?” realness being served up by the employee of [squints] S-Kybomi Outdoor Media Solutions here. This may be the Best Performance By A Working-Class Guest Character In A Continuity Comic since 2014’s iconic “Man In Hat Who Doesn’t Care About Doc Ock’s Runaway Tentacles Enjoys Sandwich.”

Six Chix, 1/8/19

As we all know, you can take an expensive vacation to Paris, go to the Louvre, get lost in the Louvre, get annoyed by the Louvre, realize that you could do a comic about your experience at the Louvre, get paid to do that comic, and then write the entire cost of your trip off on your taxes. But can you write the cost of a trip to Paris off on your taxes if you just make fun a comic doing that? We’ll see what my accountant says! Fingers crossed!

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Gil Thorp, 1/7/18

So obviously we all knew that this billboards thing would end up as an attack on Coach Thorp, but I don’t think we were prepared for how hilariously nonspecific the accusations would end up being. “Wait!” cried Robby, of the titular report dot com. “I just meant ‘save the kids from his half-assed coaching!’” But it was too late: just hours after the #pizzagate and #qanon crowds saw the billboard posted on Reddit, the doxxing swiftly followed, and the angry mob had burned down the Thorps’ house, Kelly’s travel agency, and, just be safe, Milford High itself.

Mary Worth, 1/7/18

“I’m just going to wear these black armbands to symbolize my mourning for the trust in our marriage that’s now dead! He’ll get the hint!”

Shoe, 1/7/18

“And it seemed weird at first, but, like, we’re birds who wear clothes, you know? I mean, I’m wearing clothes. You’re wearing a shirt and shoes but no pants for whatever reason. Who can really explain the world-building here, right? Anyway, this dog is my sister, I guess.”