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The bestiality jokes, they just write themselves

Marmaduke, 7/11/05

OK, Marmaduke, you think you can just keep throwing this sick woman-on-dog stuff at me and I’ll eventually give up on talking about it, don’t you? Well, I’m not gonna blink first. As long as you can keep slipping the “doggie-style” action past your editors, your perversions will be displayed here for all to regard with mingled horror and fascination.

Seriously, do you think this is proof that even the folks at United Features Syndicate have stopped reading Marmaduke? Sheesh.

20 responses to “The bestiality jokes, they just write themselves”

  1. Ron
    July 11th, 2005 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

    Not to mention that “woof” in this context sounds more like vomiting than crying. You Maramduke writers are sick puppies!

  2. fluffytufts
    July 12th, 2005 at 5:54 am [Reply]

    Looks like Marm is shtupping the chair cushion first. No wonder the poodle left him.

  3. Joe
    July 12th, 2005 at 6:43 am [Reply]

    …and she’s got the lube close by, ready to go, on the table next to her.

  4. yellojkt
    July 12th, 2005 at 7:08 am [Reply]

    “Here Marmaduke, let’s share some peanut butter together. Make sure you get it all.”

  5. Curious George
    July 12th, 2005 at 7:23 am [Reply]

    OK, all dog fondling jokes aside, why isn’t everybody raging at the fact Marmaduke is so badly drawn?
    The artist obviously couldn’t give a stuff, and yet thousands of wannabes are out there who’d kill just for the chance to say they’re a syndicated cartoonist.

    Jeez, it looks like the dog draws it himself.

  6. AquaLoco
    July 12th, 2005 at 7:49 am [Reply]

    Marmaduke was funnier with its original title, Marmadick: dog with big dick.

  7. Flasshe
    July 12th, 2005 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    Joe, you made me spew. But you’re absolutely right. Love that artistic attention to detail.

  8. Sourbelly
    July 12th, 2005 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    If all the dogs in Marm’s neighborhood are as poorly drawn as Cha-Cha, it’s no wonder he’s looking for some human quim.

  9. Anne Nonymous
    July 12th, 2005 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    This whole Marmaduke thing is just getting too creepy. Woman-on-dog or dog-on-woman, whichever. Where’s Senator Rick Santorum when we need him?

  10. Islamorada Girl
    July 12th, 2005 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    Marmaduke IS Senator Rick Santorum!

  11. Jeff Morris
    July 12th, 2005 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    It begs to be told. Apologies if you’ve heard it before.

    A German Shepherd and a Great Dane are sitting side by side in the back room of a vet’s office. The Dane turns to the Shepherd and says, “What are you in for?”

    The Shepherd sighs and says, “Well, my family’s neighbors have this little boy, and he torments me every day. He throws rocks at me, kicks me, teases me…and finally I got fed up and I bit him. The neighbors threw a fit, so my owners sent me here and they’re going to put me down.”

    The Dane nods. “That’s really sad.”

    The Shepherd asks, “What are you in for?”

    The Dane says, “Well, my owner is this really great looking blonde, and the other day she was undressed and bent over checking the water for her bath. I got all excited and just couldn’t stop myself–pinned her down and mounted her right there and then.”

    The Shepherd whistles. “Wow. So you’re getting put down too?”

    “Nah. I’m getting my nails trimmed.”

    JSM

  12. Mary Brandt
    July 12th, 2005 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    Creepiest. Joke. Ever.

    In other news, what the hell is up with “Cha Cha”? Who names their dog such a horrid name? Much less a poodle, as you can see by looking out the window.

    And that poodle looks damn happy to be rid of Marmaduke. Not sure I wouldn’t be, too.

  13. Zorba the Geek
    July 12th, 2005 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    I’ve owned standard poodles- I would never degrade one by naming it anything as asinine as “Cha Cha.” They’re smarter than Great Danes, too. Marm was probably too dumb for her.

  14. Mr.
    July 12th, 2005 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    I almost dropped my bone.

  15. Mushroom Person
    July 13th, 2005 at 3:45 am [Reply]

    And what the hell is with that room? The walls seem to close in at an angle, as you can see by the windows on both sides of the room.

  16. willowy1
    July 13th, 2005 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    Being a temperamental poodle, and a bit of an Ice Queen, if you know what I mean, Cha Cha likely sent Marmaduke in to get a pity hump from his master so Cha Cha can get all hot and bothered from her voyeuristic fetish of liking to watch.

    On the other hand, maybe it was just a scampish ploy on Marmaduke’s part to find a box that could hold his big package since Cha Cha’s post office just wasn’t large enough to accept it? Cha Cha is prancing about donning way to many decorations to lead one to believe that she didn’t get those ribbons without at least trying to give up the prize. But, who am I to judge?

  17. supreme nothing
    July 16th, 2005 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    At first glance I thought the caption read “So Cha Cha HUMPED you”, thus delivering a crushing blow to Marmaduke’s manhood that only his “mama” could heal….

  18. Holden
    August 28th, 2005 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    Did that lady get a bad facelift? Her head curves, yet it’s fat…

  19. VanillaBeast
    September 22nd, 2008 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

    Wow, you guys are hitting Marm pretty hard (just like her, lol) Seriously though, my ex gf had sexual relations with her extremely well endowed Dalmation all the time. SHe said a man could never compare to a dog, I just liked the show. This dog’s junk looked like a soft ball with a red whiffle ball bat on the end of it, it was insane. I been interested in this funny stuff ever since, but it does happen, and it is very real, trust me.

  20. lahlah
    October 27th, 2010 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    you guys are all wack and stupid get a life=]

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