Comment of the Week

Now let's be fair, there are plenty of valid reasons for this lady to call Wilbur 'pretty good.' Maybe she just got a cochlear implant and this is literally the first time she's ever heard singing. Maybe she's an extraterrestrial just now encountering music. Maybe she has a head injury. Early onset dementia. The list goes on.


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Hi and Lois, 4/16/24

Lois’s book group used to be the fun kind, where she and her friends would use the vague excuse of literary pretension to get extremely wine drunk on a weeknight. But some killjoy who “wants to actually talk about the book” or “is feeling her relationship with alcohol slipping out of control” has apparently put a stop to that, so now that ladies have to take truly dire steps to entertain one another, like all sitting around in silence while listening to a voice memo of Hi awkwardly stumbling through some vaguely offensive joke Thirsty told at work, in violation of several provisions in the HR handbook.

Beetle Bailey, 4/16/24

Another way you can tell Beetle isn’t asleep is because he’s half raising his arms into the air, which I guess is supposed to represent some kind of meditative hand mudra but really looks more like he’s doing a Rodney Dangerfield-style “My wife doesn’t love me!” stand-up routine.

Mary Worth, 4/16/24

Since Wilbur has already run into Estelle, I guess his next predictably awkward predicament is running into Iris, though I feel like he sees her often enough (she invited him to her wedding!) that she doesn’t merit the look of true fear in his eyes here. Could his statuesque Colombian lover/grifter Fabiana be in town, looking for one more chance (to steal his money)? Let’s hope!

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Alice, 4/15/24

I’m happy to report that, sine I started reading Alice a few weeks ago, I have fallen thoroughly, 100% under its spell. This strip takes perfectly ordinary situations, like when you receive parrot medicine from beloved novelist and short story writer Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007) but are then unable to give it to your parrot because it flies away, and turns them into delightfully surreal episodes. Ha ha, that parrot does not want to take that medicine! Also Alice (?) is … flying? And her head …. looks like that? Anyway! Alice, I don’t fully “get it” but I’m keenly interested to see what it’s doing next!

Crock, 4/15/24

Look, man, I get what you’re going for here and it’s basically cute and whimsical, but maybe don’t have your characters stumble upon a field of hacked-off human extremities rotting in the desert sun if your comic set is against the backdrop of grinding colonial insurgency, OK? Just … trust me on this one.

The Phantom, 4/15/24

So this current Phantom storyline, it turns out, is about Kit Jr. joining the Ghost Who Walks on one of his adventures, so we can all find out if he really has it what it takes to step up, become the 22nd Phantom, the ultimate jungle warrior and seemingly immortal crime fighter, and fulfill the destiny he was born and bred for. Anyway, turns out he definitely does not have what it takes! He’s just going to get strangled with a chain by some low-level henchman wearing a tank top, because he wasn’t paying attention, like a dumbass.

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Mary Worth, 4/14/24

Are you feeling down, my friends? Depressed? Abandoned? Do you worry that nobody loves you, simply because, in many ways both large and small, you have with your own actions made yourself unloveable? Well, just think about this: maybe someday you’ll rudely bump into a child because you’re deep in your own internal pity party and not watching where you’re walking, and in doing so save that child’s life. Wow! Really makes you think! Or, it would make you think if you even notice that it happens, which you won’t, because you are, and I can’t emphasize this enough, incredibly self-absorbed.

Judge Parker, 4/14/24

Look, I wish no ill upon Judge Parker. I hope it continues to grace the funny pages, both physical and virtual, for years to come. But I will say that, if any comic strip, soap opera or otherwise, decided to wrap things up, there are a lot worse ways to write the final chapter than a rogue CIA agent preparing all the other characters for a murder-suicide pact.