Comment of the Week

Have we ever seen a thought balloon in Funky Winkerbean before? I hope this isn't a trend, because the last thing I need is insight into these characters' inner lives.

Pozzo

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Blondie, 9/25/22

This is another great example how the top row of “throwaway” panels can actually really alter the meaning of a strip. Without them, it’s the simple story of a plumber (with a gambling problem?) who comes over the Bumstead house only to be distracted by a big platter of cold cuts (that has just been left out on the kitchen counter?). With them, we see Blondie’s warning to not let the man “get away,” so it becomes the story of a plumber (with a gambling problem?) whom the Bumsteads plan to capture and do something unspeakable to, and they’ve left out a big platter of cold cuts out on the kitchen counter, as bait.

Crankshaft, 9/25/22

It’s fun to remember that Mason Jarre, when first introduced into the Funkyverse, was a dumb Hollywood himbo who signed on to play Les in the original, “bad” (i.e., potentially enjoyable to watch) movie version of Lisa’s Story, but now that he’s become part of our beloved gang, his an insufferable snob about physical film and classic movies or whatever. I suppose it’s possible that we’re meant to understand that he’s matured as a person over the years, but it’s more likely that the Funkyverse simply cannot accommodate a sympathetic character who isn’t obsessed with classic film stuff. Still, the interpretation I’d really prefer is that in fact he’s supposed to be as big a dipshit as ever; it’s just that this is what he’s a dipshit about now.

Mark Trail, 9/25/22

God damn it, Mark Trail, this strip very much begins with a promise of horny toads learning to work together as a team, and by rights ought to end with Monsanto’s hired security goons being forced back into corporate HQ by geysers of eye-blood from a whole horny toad army, and I am very disappointed that it does not.

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Judge Parker, 9/24/22

Oh, gee, I guess we’ve been spending so much time exploring the wildly seesawing emotional conditions inside the heavily fortified Spencer-Driver compound that we haven’t noticed that Cavelton at large has become a violent, drug cartel-ruled hellscape. This should work out great for Abbey when she becomes mayor, as she’ll be able to use a brutal crackdown on the gangs and the accompanying suspension of constitutional protections for defendants as a cover to go after her enemies, ex-mayors and ex-husbands alike.

Hagar the Horrible, 9/24/22

Aw, isn’t that romantic? Hagar and his band of Vikings have apparently established a trade route to Mesoamerica, but are keeping it a secret from anyone but their most beloved family members. Also, Hagar’s a terrible alcoholic (less romantic).

Hi and Lois, 9/24/22

I would not advise Hi to buy the contents of a mysterious POD from some guy who, as far as I know because I’ve never seen him in the strip before, just showed up in the neighborhood today! I’m not a lawyer but I’m pretty sure you’re accepting responsibility for however many corpses are in there if you do this.

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Folks! Y’all know what time it is … actually, it’s time for two things, and the first is to remind you that if you’re in LA, you should come to The Internet Read Aloud in two weeks, 10/7 at 7 pm, at the Clubhouse! It will be fun and you should not miss it. Here is the Facebook event!

Oh, and it is of course ALSO time for the comment of the week. COTW y’all! Here it is:

“Have we ever seen a thought balloon in Funky Winkerbean before? I hope this isn’t a trend, because the last thing I need is insight into these characters’ inner lives.” –Pozzo

And here are your fun and cool runners up:

“With the vague throwaway panel, it’s almost as if we’re seeing the rest of the strip through Mary’s eyes as she checks in on her various ‘projects’ through the extensive Charterstone Video Monitoring System. Thank goodness she managed to get that nightcam vision camera in at Jared’s apartment in time!” –pugfuggly

“Does Abbey realize she doesn’t have to literally run for mayor?” –nescio

I have people in my life who love me. Like my dad. The elderly woman who lives next door to my dad. And … I want to say Callie? Kathleen? The woman who eats while I talk about myself, we’re very close.” –Dan

“I would dearly love to know what criteria Wilbur is using to declare ‘I have everything going for me!’ I know his self-delusion runs deep, but it’s always fascinating to see how far down it goes.” –TheDiva

In Jeff’s panel we get bananas. In Mary’s panel, we get pie. Following up on a week’s worth of Mary singing the praises of masturbation, Moy has given up on all attempts at subtlety. Tomorrow at the Bum Boat, Jeff slurps down a raw oyster while Mary bites into a lobster roll.” –Hibbleton

“Oh, Jeff! You showed up at just the right time! Of course I’ll have dinner with my favorite convenient narrative hinge tonight.” –pastordan

“Given Jenny’s large 100 lbs laptop, I suspect they’re actually starting an ‘I Heart the 2000’s’ collection. (Tommorow’s strip will be Marvin befouling a Juicy Couture tracksuit).” –2+2=7

“..and they say this guy is just one of the best plastic surgeons, and I no longer need look quite so much like an old-timey ventriloquist’s dummy. So that’s my story.” –made of wince

“This is pretty crafty by Lockhorns standards. The conflict is only implied, but it’s a brilliant stroke of passive aggression if we think about the events that must have preceded this phone call: Leroy put on the game and decided he was going to watch it and cheer for this team he doesn’t care about just to interfere with the dinner Loretta and Helen had probably been planning for at least a week.” –Amelie Wikström

“Given the release date of ‘Who Let The Dogs Out’, the vinyl copy he has there must be some 12″ dance mix of it, too. Really committed to the bit.” –stormsweeper

“Clearly the author has received complaints from professional assassins that they do not wish to be confused with sloppy amateur murderers.” –Anonymous (but not that one)

“I want to read the rest of the Perfesser’s review. Is it 500 words of self-pity? Did he actually make it to the escape room where he had to be let out when time was up because he just sat in a chair staring morosely at a wall or did he pass it on the way to the bar but the building looks nice enough to warrant calling it a ‘review’? I will buy a newspaper for the first time in years if it means getting the full article. Unless that was the full article and Shoe sighs because he knows he’s not going to get any more words from that sad sack.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“‘The local judge was assassinated. We want you to take his place.’ ‘Because you want to show those criminals that Justice can’t be intimidated?’ ‘Uh, yeah, that’s it.’” –But What Do I Know?

Funky Winkerbean: The Strip Where ‘Don’t mention the autopsy photos!’ Is Not Just A Punchline, But Isn’t Even The Main Punchline™” –Schroduck

“Anyone who talks to God without using an ad-blocker and a VPN is a fool.” –Oregonian

“Ninety percent of a plugger’s ideation is emitted as heat.” –Uncle Lumpy

“Since the Lockhorns are floating in a lightly gradiented void with a non-Euclidean horrordesk, maybe the joke is that they died and are haunting the new owners of the house? It’d explain why they’re always so cranky.” –matt w

“If a plugger is going to die soon then he’s sure as hell going to take us all with him.” –Truckosaurus

“Later, as it wallowed in a stew of eyeballs and matted blond hair, the brain had second thoughts.” –Voshkod

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