Post Content

Gil Thorp, 1/23/20

Man, I know it’s early, but this Gil Thorp spring storyline has been extremely snoresville so far, involving competition between two student-athletes for valedictorian, plus some actual basketball stuff that I can’t really follow and resent as a result. But I am mesmerized by today’s panel two, in which Marcell Irby controls the glass (I assume “Marcell Irby Controls The Glass” is the name of his avant-garde dance piece where he spins a basketball around on his head in front of a complex, abstract geometric background that he personally designed).

Dennis the Menace, 1/23/20

Pretty sure the real menace here is Alice, who apparently forced her son to sit in his punishment corner for so long that he was in danger of soiling herself? Or maybe it’s the whole Mitchell clan, for constantly getting Joey involved in their internal psychodrama. Look at him! He’s very, very nervous! He just wants everyone to be happy!

Post Content

Crock, 1/22/20

One of the dangers of doing a syndicated comic strip for years is that you either subconsciously repeat a joke or just submit a strip you drew years ago hoping your editors won’t notice; and one of the dangers of writing a blog making fun of comic strips for (gulp) 15-plus years is that I’ll see one of these repeats and make more or less the same joke about it that I did long before. Sometimes I miss it, but sometimes as I’m about to hit “publish” a little voice nags at me that it all seems too familiar. So it was today, when I had a joke about how the characters in Crock aren’t in North Africa at all, but rather are parasites who reside on the flesh of some unimaginably huge creature; but then I got that aforementioned nagging feeling, and went walking through my archives, and sure enough, back in 2007, when the creator of the strip was still alive, I made basically this joke about an an entirely different strip that made basically this joke. Anyway! More proof that the Crock characters are all inhabitants of some awful living planet made of meat, or something! This is Crockiverse canon, and you have to think about it every time you read the strip!

Shoe, 1/22/20

Shoe, meanwhile, is relatively “with it” for a long-running legacy strip today: The Wiz is, after all, an expert in all things computers, and it would be unrealistic for him to try to convince Shoe that there’s any viable revenue model for online journalism.

Dustin, 1/22/20

You know, if you’re going to do a strip about a middle-aged character picking up some youth slang, it might behoove you to be really, really sure you know what said youth slang means, since “ghosting” refers not to dropping a text conversation with outstanding matters still unresolved, which is what from context the Dustin clan seems to be talking about here, but rather ending a romantic relationship with someone by wholly and abruptly cutting off communication with them. Granted, what with how the rest of them treat Dustin, it’d be fully believable that he’d finally get fed up and ghost them in the correct sense of the word!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/22/20

“Can’t people just die of old age anymore without having to make a big production out if it? I mean, come on.”

Post Content

Funky Winkerbean, 1/21/20

ME FOR THE PAST WEEK: Ugh, I am so irritated by this plot about nice people desparate to make a movie out Les’s book while he pisses and moans about it, can we please move on to literally anything else

ME TODAY, SUDDENLY CONFRONTED WITH THE PROSPECT OF A RETCONNED FLASHBACK TO TEEN NERD LES HAVING NO DOUBT WILDLY AWKWARD AND UNFULFILLING SEX WITH HIS MOST POPULAR CLASSMATE: Ugh, no, go back to the movie, go back to the god-damned movie

Hi and Lois, 1/21/20

“We taped it to the front window to create the illusion of a disorienting pocket universe where different sides of the house face the same direction but look into different timeframes, hopefully confusing and alarming you enough that you’ll just buy the house because you’re afraid you can never escape it. Is it working?”

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 1/21/20

Ha ha! It’s funny because Hootin’ Holler, isolated and impoverished, is ignored by the mainstream financial services industry, and predatory local institutions have stepped in to fill the gap!