Comment of the Week

Let's say, and why not, that you need to calm an excitable Sunday lunch crowd at the local senior center. Gasoline Alley shows you the way: get them started on regional dialects, and you'll have them distracted right up to tri-ominos time. 10/10 reader service, Gasoline Alley, no notes.

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Gil Thorp, 2/8/23

Oh, hey, remember Emmett Tays, the former Milford football player who presented Gil with his major award and told a fun story about how he and Gil bonded over their abusive parents? Well, he’s received his compensation for leading the Gil-adulation, in the form of a assistant coaching job that pays, on the orders of Dr. Pearl, half of what our dearly departed Coach Kaz was getting, which definitely won’t eventually give rise to a discrimination lawsuit of any kind.

Judge Parker, 2/8/23

Look, I don’t participate in the pill-popping lifestyle so I’m unfamiliar with its folkways, but I have to think it doesn’t actually involve just shaking a prescription bottle in the general direction of your mouth and hoping the tiny, delicious pills end up in there, or at least within tongue range. Even Tommy from Mary Worth is smart enough to know that you put the pills in your hand first, and Tommy is not smart at all.

Dennis the Menace, 2/8/23

Dennis, unaware of the many baroque ways in which the human body can beging to malfunction as it ages, is about to learn that there will come a time when he won’t be able to poop, even if he wants to. Truly, the menace has become the menaced today.

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Crock, 2/7/22

Wow, first there’s a good joke in Crock, and now there’s a Crock that does a decent job of showing the mania of self-delusion that overcomes a colonial power when it’s on the verge of realizing it cannot win a war of occupation? What’s next, a second good joke?

Mary Worth, 2/7/22

Wilbur was in remarkably good spirits when his ex got married, but I have to imagine his other ex finding new romance is going to push him over the edge, right? Like he’s got to know this is happening, somehow, either he’s sitting alone at home and suddenly his combover stood straight up on end, or he’s just been watching from the bushes this whole time.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2/7/22

“I tried t’ tell her: No outsider is going to come to this impoverished and economically isolated community! She’s going t’ hafta marry a cousin or leave her home forever, same choice as the rest of us face.”

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The Lockhorns, 2/6/23

A thing I like about The Lockhorns is that it’s a comic about a marriage that has spiraled into truly dark territory, but most of the individual strips aren’t necessarily about incandescent moments of hate. Instead, you just get a series of small disappointments that add up to a wasted life. Like, today, you have to imagine that Loretta got it into her head that they should be a tea family, or at least that they should try it out, and she went through the trouble of putting together a matching tea set, and now, on morning one, Leroy just stares dully into his cup and is like “enh, let’s not.” Devastating. Devastating! And the most devastating thing is that they can still devastate one another like this, without even thinking about it.

Slylock Fox, 2/6/23

I feel like Weirdly has honestly put more work into his alibi here than he usually does. “Who, me?” he says. “I just got back from bowling. Haven’t even bothered to put my ball away yet, and my phone still hasn’t fully recharged. I was just sitting down to get on the computer and hadn’t even had time to enter my password!” The boiling flask isn’t that suspicious to me, it’s not like Weirdly has ever given the vibe of being really concerned about safety so he could’ve just left it boiling while he was out, or left one of his menagerie in charge of it, like the purple thing or the [record scratch] WAIT HOLD ON A SECOND COURT WEIRDLY HAS A MAX-ANALOGUE SIDEKICK? With the same color/dress scheme except he’s like … a tiny canid predator of some sort? Is that a small fox, specifically chosen to taunt Slylock? More on this story as it develops.

Pluggers, 2/6/23

It’s hard to get more Pluggers that today’s Pluggers, in which a plugger looks more smug than you can possibly imagine after completing a basic task that used to be something everyone did and now is something that nobody actually needs to do.

Shoe, 2/6/23

It looks like, after literally years of me demanding that Shoe start doing jokes that play off the strip’s basic premise, which is that all the characters are birds, that they finally did one. Honestly, I feel nothing about this. Nothing at all. This should be a big day for me, and yet: nothing. Going to go somewhere quiet where I can contemplate what I’m doing with my life for a bit.