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Mark Trail, 11/21/17

Mark’s sidekick Johnny was too cowardly to gun down a woman, so instead he’s going to lure her down to the tunnel under the bank, where the bear will eat her.

Spider-Man, 11/21/17

Sorry all comedy writers everywhere, but nothing you produce this week will be funnier than “I can’t have my wife back — but at least maybe I can grow a new arm.” Anyway, I’m glad we’re finally going to find out why supposed science nerd Peter Parker works in the incredibly low-paying field of freelance news photography rather than getting a job as a lab tech or something. I assume that it’s because he’s actually pretty bad at science, which is great for me because I’m psyched to see one of his screwups turn Dr. Connors into a lizard.

Beetle Bailey, 11/21/17

Man, I have to say, Lt. Fuzz was not at the top of my “who at Camp Swampy is going to plan the coup” list.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/21/17

Boy, this bluegrass version of Jay-Z’s “99 Problems” sure changed some things!

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Crock, 11/20/17

Aww, it looks like Otis’s mom has finally figured out that his best (only?) friend is a carrion-eating vulture! And you can tell she’s really trying. Her lids are heavy with disgust as she imagines the hungry bird flying home to his gore-encrusted home to feed on fresh corpses, but she isn’t saying anything to break up the friendship. That’s good parenting!

The Phantom, 11/20/17

Ooh, now we know which specific weirdos are on Walker’s table: messianic cultists! The main question raised by today’s too-artsy-by-half lettering: Is this beardy gent known to his devotees as “Savior 2” or “Savior Z”? Because those names have very different vibes. Savior 2 is sort of a “Hey kids, I’m just like Jesus, but the next one, for the modern age!” whereas Savior Z is like I AM THE END OF ALL THINGS, THIS WORLD WE BE CLEANSED IN INFINITE FIRE FOREVER

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/19/17

America’s rural, non-coastal areas have some legitimate beefs about how they’re depicted in the media, and it’s a constant sad demonstration of how little cultural reach comics have anymore that nobody has ever tried to organize an angry boycott of newspapers that run Barney Google and Snuffy Smith. A lot of jokes work on the principle of misdirection, and here’s how this one does it: you think city slicker Barney Google, with his talk of “stores,” is going to get schooled by Snuffy, who still hunts for turkey just like the pilgrims and Native Americans did in the 17th century. But nope, turns out he’s just a thief! Ha ha!

Beetle Bailey, 11/19/17

A fun thing about writing a comic strip is that you can get ideas from anywhere in your daily life! For instance, maybe the tech nerds who run the syndicate these days have it set up so you have to log in to upload the comic art now instead of just having your assistant FedEx it like you did for years, and maybe you’ve misplaced the post-it where you wrote down your password. Good news! By the time you manage to log in, you’ve already got next Sunday’s strip written!