The littlest schoolmarm
For Better Or For Worse, 3/2/06
So, um, is the last panel some kind of metaphor made concrete? Or … is Susan a, um, midget? Oh my God, she’s a dwarf, isn’t she? We’re going to learn, over eight enlightening but grueling days, that dwarves can be teachers and positive contributors to society, and they don’t deserve ill-fitting sweaters, aren’t we?
That’s what I’m getting from panel four, anyway. It also appears that we’re going to learn that Canadian First nation children love the taste of dwarf flesh. You’d better look scared there, shorty.
FleaBailey
March 2nd, 2006 at 9:16 pm
“You’d better look scared there, shorty.”
HAH!
Mooncity
March 2nd, 2006 at 9:18 pm
It’s so sad… Mount Foob has resorted to hypnotism in order to get us to keep reading… don’t look at the spiral swirls in panel 1! DON’T LOOK!
Marc
March 2nd, 2006 at 9:19 pm
Wouldn’t it be funny if Lizardbreath brings home Susan and April intoduces Susan to Shannon?
Sassy_Rocks
March 2nd, 2006 at 9:28 pm
#3 – Shannon, besides being virtually neckless, only seems to have a slight speech impediment where she uses the elipsis…between words. She may be one of the 8 types of people that Lynn Johnston can draw. She certainly doesn’t draw rabbits and cats very well. This Susan seems to be an out and out 2 foot tall midget circus freak. I’m sure Saint Lizardbreath will have a close, mentoring, heart-warming relationship with her, much like April ‘n Shannon. After all, she is above prejudice and judgemental thinking of any kind.
TDB
March 2nd, 2006 at 9:36 pm
“Tick, Tappita, Tick, Tap, Tick”…it’s that kind of attention to detail that makes you just want to hit yourself in the head with a hammer.
kippetje2000
March 2nd, 2006 at 10:07 pm
She’s going to be in a wheelchair. This is going to be a big life lesson the saints have to teach us. Could be a precursor to the Mountie coming out of his heretofore precognasticated tragic event alive but not unscathed. Either that or she’s a disembodied head ala Re-animator.
Fred P.
March 2nd, 2006 at 10:37 pm
Vicious little kids! Holding their hands all up there so high, probably snickering away, with cruel taunts like “Our last teacher was this tall!” or “”Hey high 5’s teach! ha ha! Sucker!” No wonder she looks mortified, and not a little panic stricken. Next thing you know they’ll be holding her purse or something up there, so close but so far out of reach, while Susan flounders around in a most undignified manner, vainly trying to regain her valuables, which, alas, will forever be inevitably two inches beyond her grasp.
Mary Worth today has got me wondering about exactly where tired platitudes end and trite cliches begin. I’m thinking begins right around Panel I.
Alliterative comix revue (today’s Lockhorns):
Leroy Lockhorn looks like he’s lately been lappin’ up loads o’ liquor! Meanwhile, malodorous Mallard makes me mighty …uh… mauseous.
Marc
March 2nd, 2006 at 10:41 pm
Wait, it looks like she has no arm(s)!
Paraplegic 2 ft foobs.
Sigh.
Sheila
March 2nd, 2006 at 10:53 pm
Yeah, I’m putting five bucks on wheelchair. God, shut up, Lynn Johnston.
stacy
March 2nd, 2006 at 11:02 pm
But we’ve already had a Very Important Lesson about a wheelchair. Liz’s inspiration and hero, her old teacher from (I think) 8th grade, was in a wheelchair.
Though FBOFW does recycle plot lines endlessly…
mooselet
March 2nd, 2006 at 11:04 pm
She’s a hunchbacked dwarf – see how her right shoulder is up around her earlobe?
I’m beginning to think no one is allowed in to the MW universe without being able to speak fluent Platitude. It’s a condition of citizenship, isn’t it?
Daniel
March 2nd, 2006 at 11:24 pm
I think the midget is a student. Susan is the broadfaced (how else would I describe her?) one in the very center. I could see where the bad illustration of crappy punchline could mislead you, though.
Daniel
March 2nd, 2006 at 11:27 pm
Never mind, I read the rest of the comments and realized I had assumed you made the same mistake I made at first.
I still can’t believe you’re a liberal.
Don
March 3rd, 2006 at 12:14 am
http://www.comics.com/comics/brevity/archive/brevity-20060302.html
What’s up with the Star of David in this comic? Is the cartoonist suggesting that the vampire hunters are stupid for thinking that vampires, who clearly recognize Jesus as the one true path to salvation, would care about the symbol of some other god-forsaken religion? Maybe they could pull a Jonny Hart and bend that thing into a cross
Mibbitmaker
March 3rd, 2006 at 12:15 am
Not only is the handicapped one in over her head, she’s going to be teaching a bunch of normal kids and two weird gray outline people, other natives of Mtigawallaponga. They are said to be even more noble than the others, since they can see the tricky gray areas. It’ll be tough molding their minds (and their facial features). I mean, how can she tell if they’re falling asleep in class (esp. at her height)?
Mibbitmaker
March 3rd, 2006 at 12:22 am
BTW, with the possible exception of the last paragraph, Josh, you read FBOFW like a book.
Too bad it can’t be read like a comic strip! (rimshot!)
Sheila
March 3rd, 2006 at 12:28 am
I can’t figure out which one is supposed to be the new teacher. Both of the center panel candidates have Mtigwibbet hairstyles and (in the one case) facial features… so how is EITHER of them like WASPy old Elizabeth?
mooselet
March 3rd, 2006 at 12:43 am
Oh, never mind… she’s perfectly normal. But she’s teaching them “great new ideas” like fractions! Well golly gee willikers, what will they think of next? Long division?
Bill Peschel
March 3rd, 2006 at 1:16 am
Off topic, but Lileks had some comic comment in today’s (3/3) Bleat, including the word that “Boondocks” is going away for awhile:
Everyone was casting votes on new comics to replace Boondocks. It’s going on indefinite hiatus; the strain of drawing three panels of oversized TV sets illustrating sixteen consecutive “Brokeback†jokes has taken its toll, and the creator is stepping away for a while. The options were grim. You have no idea how many lame, derivative and unfunny strips the syndicates have – and those are the ones that got the syndie deals. Made me appreciate “Chickwood Lane†all the more, even though it annoys me for some reason. (It seems basted in its own self-regard. Still read it, though.) The editor had looked at the column I recommended, but said it wasn’t syndicated yet. It goes without saying that the brilliant Achewood comic cannot be featured in a family paper, and Penny Arcade would never bother to recalibrate its language just to be in the paper. I say that without sarcasm, incidentally: “being in the paper†isn’t the high holy calling it once was. Why should it be? There’s something about shooting for the mass market that blandifies comics into tepid farina. “Get Fuzzy†works, as does “Pearls Before Swine,†but they’re rare.
Sarah
March 3rd, 2006 at 1:53 am
Does anyone else read 9 Chickweed Lane? I don’t get the last couple of strips… is Diane a lesbian, or did she just leave the catholic school?
Power of 1000 Lemons
March 3rd, 2006 at 1:57 am
Definitely in a wheelchair, unless Lynn Johnston just can’t draw (which I suppose is a possibility). The way she’s positioned just makes “a standing person of small stature” less likely than “a sitting, handicapped person of otherwise average stature.” Leastways, that’s what I got from it.
Mumblix Grumph
March 3rd, 2006 at 2:10 am
I think the kids in Mgtikiwallapalooza are waving to tell Susan that she’s run over their moccasin-clad feet with her wheelchair.
I wonder if Lynn has sold a product placement deal with the Little Rascal® Scooter Corporation. We’ll know if the dialog starts to look like this:
LIZ: Hi Susan, looks like your Little Rascal® can handle deep snow just fine!
SUSAN: Yes, Liz, my Little Rascal® is the perfect thing for dedicated, yet differently-abled teachers!
LIZ: We sure are lucky that Little Rascal® has many convenient payment plans to fit any budget! Hooray for Little Rascal®!
SUSAN: Who needs sex? I’m in love with my Little Rascal®!
NAMELESS ETHNIC CHILD: Miss Susan, can we play with your Little Rascal®?
SUSAN: Ha ha, no, sorry little Nameless Ethnic Child, only differently-abled people can use the Little Rascal®!
NAMELESS ETHNIC CHILD: Aw, shucks…hey, I’m going to chop of my left foot, then I’ll be differently-abled too!
LIZ: Sounds like you’re a Little Rascal®!
ALL: Ha ha ha!
Len
March 3rd, 2006 at 3:24 am
#20 — Diane used to be a nun, teaching Edda at the Catholic school. She’s left the convent, apparently. Is she a lesbian? Aren’t most… Oh, I’ll be good.
Have you been reading Chickweed’s sister strip, Pibgorn? I like the setting of the new continuity in a 1940s-like city, but Brooke apparently plans to use Shakespeare’s Midsummer Night’s Dream as his only text. I’m wondering how Pibgorn will fit into the court of Oberon and Titania? (Dear Goddess! Please don’t make her be a female Puck!)
I haven’t seen a comic using Shakespearean dialog since the old Classics Illustrated did a comic book of Hamlet!
Len
March 3rd, 2006 at 3:31 am
#14 — The stupid vampire hunters are not only using Jewish stars instead of crosses, they’re stabbing the vampires in the heart with steaks — BEEF steaks! — instead of stakes. But who does a vampire phone to complain about stupid vampire-hunters? Is there a Bizarro Buffy? Buffy the Vampire-Defender? The mind boggles…
mooselet
March 3rd, 2006 at 4:51 am
3/3 MW: Quick, run to higher ground!
yellojkt
March 3rd, 2006 at 4:55 am
Susan Dokis (boy are they running out of surnames quick up at the Corbeil phone directory) appears to be of normal stature today, but just a little short. I think she will turn out to be a Noble Native returning from the Land Of Enlightened White People to bring culture and refinement to the hinterlands while still being respectful of ancient First Nation customs and ways.
And Liz has been on the job like two years and now she is all mentor and wise elder teacher. Barfff.
And blatant blog plugging: Do not read Sally’s Hero: Ted Forth, Part Deaux if the mental image of Ted and Sally getting busy will make you nauseous. You have been warned.
Sheila
March 3rd, 2006 at 6:37 am
Speaking of running out of names, I just noticed there are two Sheilas posting to the comments here. Hey Other Sheila, were you here first? (I’ve only been reading this blog since last summer.) Lemme know if it behooves me to find a new moniker.
kippetje2000
March 3rd, 2006 at 6:41 am
I know an Mtigwakfoobian word for foob punchlines: UGH
mako
March 3rd, 2006 at 7:37 am
Todays Luann: Scat, eh? Funny, the cat didn’t *look* German.
Ianscot
March 3rd, 2006 at 7:56 am
3/3/06: Mark Trail introduces Rusty 2.0 in the person of “Tony”… and he appears to be played by the young Reggie Mantle, of Archie fame, trying out his acting chops.
But oh, that ear for kid dialog!
“Papa!” (Interrupting a conversation)
“Hello, Sir.”
“Yes, Sir.”
Ianscot
March 3rd, 2006 at 8:04 am
3/3 Sally Forth: Sally displays an intimate knowledge of the film “Blade Runner.” Can it be that she herself is a replicant? Her entire family DOESN’T AGE.
prepressmonkey
March 3rd, 2006 at 8:06 am
The new teach does indeed look like she may be First Nations, but this being the FOOBiverse, I’m betting before she’s gone she’ll start nattering on to Yodaliz about “them filthy injun rugrats and their filthy redskin parents”. Thus necessitating Yodaliz giving her a homily filled inspirational talk on tolerance and the race we’re all in together towards a maggot filled hole in the ground.
Of course then, Yodaliz will catch Mr. Right showing Suzy his revolver, so to speak, out behind the schoolhouse, and she’ll be forced to break out the frying pan, throw his ice skates in the pond and the old reset button will get pushed yet again.
Len
March 3rd, 2006 at 8:51 am
Mrs. Morgan wants to watch! Adds a bit of spice to the old love life, I guess… But she’s bringing the kid? That’s just wrong!
Len
March 3rd, 2006 at 9:02 am
“Get Fuzzy” frequently shows Satchel and Bucky laying back or seated with their hind legs spread apart. And they are anatomically INcorrect. But look at today’s Rhymes With Orange…
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20060303&name=Rhymes_with_Orange
Oog, as Pogo might’ve said.
Prof Phineas Windbag
March 3rd, 2006 at 9:20 am
Len, you may be a bit precipitous, June is toting along the progeny to a practice session on the driving range.
Indeed, from this perspective all the more humiliating for the good doctor as the power dynamic continues to shift in their relationship–from subservient nurse to belittling dominatrix– she is putting Rex on full public display as he pathetically prepares for his twosome with Troy. . .He may not become “hooked on golf” but Troy, the nice guy is an entity upon which the Doc may get hooked. . .especially if it pleases June to watch his demeaning preparations.
BigJoe
March 3rd, 2006 at 9:34 am
Once again it’s time to play, “Why the hell is this funny?”
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20060303&name=Crock
BigJoe
March 3rd, 2006 at 9:35 am
And now for the bonus round:
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20060303&name=Family_Circus
RBF
March 3rd, 2006 at 9:35 am
#25 mooselet: Your warning was too late!
This platitude-spewing actually makes the ps between Mary and Jeff seem almost interesting by comparison.
Kill me now ! This has got to be a (bad) joke.
Anonymous
March 3rd, 2006 at 9:43 am
c’mon, you can’t have anyone look better than the St. Pattersons. If you ain’t a Saint you are either evil or crippled or deeply flawed or all of the above.
yellojkt
March 3rd, 2006 at 9:48 am
Is Rhymes With
SucksOrange as funny in the world of digital cameras? Some ten-year old is reading that wondering what the silly black stripes with holes are.And for BigJoe’s contest: It isn’t.
What did I win?
MotoMike
March 3rd, 2006 at 10:15 am
Ianscot (#30): Yes, that’s one articulate kid. I suspect (no, I’m utterly convinced) that we have just seen the entire plot of the next six months of Happy Forest unroll before our eyes: the father is conflicted about the road thing; he and the kid take a trip to visit Gambling Hell; on the way back – auto accident! – Noble Mark Trail hears about it somehow and races to the rescue, saving the boy from a rabid racoon – carrying him out of the forest because his little head got bonked (the boy’s, not Mark Trail’s); father sees the error of his ways, resists temptation – no highway, no ecological disturbance. No way to hunt down the f**king rabid racoon.
I found myself thinking that all the casino operator had to do in the first place was rename it the Venerable Family Workshop Gaming Headquarters – then Mark Trail would just hear “Oh, someone’s building a route out to the VFW. Got a problem with that?”
Mike
Tracey
March 3rd, 2006 at 10:21 am
I read “FBOW” everyday, in spite of the fact that it chips away another little piece of my soul. Is there a chapter of Foob Anonymous in the Detroit area? I clearly need help.
BigJoe
March 3rd, 2006 at 10:29 am
Tracey: If there isn’t we should start one.
“Hi, my name is Joe and I read FBOW today.”
(all) “Hi, Joe!”
RBF
March 3rd, 2006 at 10:34 am
“Hi, my name is RBF and I’ve been clean and sober from FBOW for seven days!”
(all) applause
BigJoe
March 3rd, 2006 at 10:49 am
“Hi, my name is RBF and I’ve been clean and sober from FBOW for seven days!â€
(all) applause
Correction – instead of “applause” it should say
wild applause and pandemonium!
Bassogap
March 3rd, 2006 at 10:55 am
7 days? so he doesn’t know about Liz’ new student teacher?
RBF: What’s that? A student teacher?
Crowd: He’s fallen off the Foob wagon again.
RBF
March 3rd, 2006 at 10:59 am
LOL Joe!
Now if only I can get help withdrawing from MW
BigJoe
March 3rd, 2006 at 11:03 am
Maybe there should be a Comics Curmudgeon Anonymous. If it wasn’t for reading the CC I would never had started reading MW, MT, 9CL, RMMD, A3G and JP.
I hate you all for luring me in!
Zorba the Geek
March 3rd, 2006 at 11:07 am
Our Indian tribes only give money to Jack Abramoff and congresspeople. Apparently, Canadian Indian tribes (nations, whatever) have been giving money for a long time now to Lynn Johnston for all the warm and fuzzy publicity they receive in For Better or For Worse.
Tracey
March 3rd, 2006 at 11:55 am
Re #45: Does this mean we’d all be Friends of Josh?
Re #48: I got sucked into A3G because of this blog, too. I’ve resisted MW and RMMD so far, but it’s only a matter of time before I fall off the wagon and give in on those, too. Never mind about the Friends of Josh question – it’s clear he’s the king of all enablers.
The Rhino
March 3rd, 2006 at 12:04 pm
#23 Len–
If you’ve ever heard of Neil Gaiman’s Sandman series of comic books, one of the stories is an unusual take on A Midsummer Night’s Dream — Shakespeare puts on his play in a field, and the audience includes the “real” Oberon, Titania, etc., who react to the play.
It was exceptionally well done and won the World Fantasy Award for short fiction (then the rules for that award were immediately changed so that comics could never win it again…).
theGrowler
March 3rd, 2006 at 12:05 pm
The student teacher in Foob’s panel 4 isn’t overwhelmed by the lively native children–she’s horrified that two ghosts have ominously appeared to frame the scene.
Library Cat
March 3rd, 2006 at 12:33 pm
FBOFW:
Well I guess we shouldn’t have judged the book by its ill-fitting sweater/cover. Apparently the only disability the new teacher has is a constant migraine from pulling her hair back so tight. I’d like to think something interesting will happen with her but I think her presence is just to provide a foil for the diamond that is Lizardbreath. We will be force-fed for a week examples of how creative and understanding a teacher she has become in her brief tenure at Mtigawkawaka. God how I hate Lynn.
Tommyp
March 3rd, 2006 at 12:35 pm
2 words: Dwarf Tossing. This could be the big break that gets FBOFW its own live action cartoon deal. Oh no….
Albertadude
March 3rd, 2006 at 1:09 pm
Man, can Lynn Johnston plumb the depths of pee cee idiocy any further???? I quit reading her soooooo long ago and havn’t anything to regret obviously!
All she needs to add now is the gay hijab wearing muslima who teaches about how islam really means peace!!
MLH
March 3rd, 2006 at 1:13 pm
Political correctness notwithstanding, this dwarf (or midget, as the case may be) business will have me readin’ FBOFW this week.
MLH
March 3rd, 2006 at 1:30 pm
Well, s***. It appears that the new schoolmarm is a Native Canadian. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I was hoping for a midget / dwarf.
BigJoe
March 3rd, 2006 at 1:33 pm
Re #56 – People, people, we must intervene at once. Us long time members of FA know the dangers of falling into the trap of “I’ll just read it this week and then stop.” We must prevent MLH from falling off the wagon!
King Folderol
March 3rd, 2006 at 1:42 pm
She apparently walks, but Miss Dokis’s torso does seem way too small for her body.
RMMD – I can’t believe that June is supporting Rex’s endeavor with Troy. “Fabulous! Sarah and I can watch!” Ew.
David
March 3rd, 2006 at 1:45 pm
I’m on to you people. I know you (we) all love to bash away at the strips that are easy to bash, and you (we) actually do have a lot of respect for FBOFW, despite its flaws. The PCness grates on me, but in a world with freaking Mallard Fillmore in hundreds (dozens?) of papers, can’t we all appreciate FBOFW’s good intentions just a little? Perhaps some here remember the huge firestorm Lynn suffered when she outed a character. She took massive crap over that, but stuck to her beliefs and never wavered, even though it affected her financially and otherwise – she’s a woman with a lot of integrity.
Finally, the Liz storyline reeks of sentimental PCness (mine is almost 10 inches long, incidentally), but in Canada, native culture is much more prominent that it is in the US. So it doesn’t seem so forced to me.
You may now resume making fun of the retarded.
BigJoe
March 3rd, 2006 at 1:45 pm
#57, 58: Nooooooooooooooooooooo! We’re too late!
http://www.oldmencrying.com/images/cody.jpeg
BigJoe
March 3rd, 2006 at 1:47 pm
#60: Lynn is retarded? Gosh, I didn’t know that, now I feel bad.
Anonymous
March 3rd, 2006 at 1:50 pm
RMMD – Rex is going to let June and Sarah watch?!? They just have to be doing this on purpose and they must have a mole here at Joshreads.
FBOW – I don’t know what ethnicity ‘Dorkis’ is supposed to represent. Hottentot maybe? I do know that Her Foobness will club us over the head with whatever ‘Dorkis’ is to further showcase the growth of Lizardbreath into Saint Elly II.
SF – Telecommuting, jetpacks, the eye scanner thingy from Blade Runner, easily obtainable ricin and cheap handguns as divorce options, uterine replicators so you don’t have deal with controlling, snarky, uber-bitches like Sally Forth in order to procreate. Yup, there sure is a lot technology being denied poor Ted Forth.
MW – Would that tsunami would wash those two away…
9CL – The ex-nun’s boyfriend appears today. As slightly nauseating as the idea of religious figures getting jiggy is, we should be glad he’s attracted to adults.
(DT)GT – Why am I reading this again?
MT – Which of the Eight Cast Members is playing Tony the Grandson? Maybe the dwarf who normally plays Andy inside that St. Bernard suit? Anyway, the ‘Plot Is Now Revealed’. Tony will ‘Get Lost’ in Lost Forest, then a ‘Search’ led by Mark Trail will take place. Grandpa Casino will participate and ‘Learn To Value Nature’ thus ending the ‘Road Plans’. The End sometime in August I’m thinking.
Luann – Frist those XXX honeymoon photos and now ‘Scat’. Is Luann going to make a run at Arlo & Janis?
Library Cat
March 3rd, 2006 at 2:15 pm
re #62
BigJoe, some warning please. I finally had to leave my work area before the giggle fest caused any more notice. But thank you, I needed that!
David
March 3rd, 2006 at 2:36 pm
62. BigJoe, thanks for the laugh!
Sassy_Rocks
March 3rd, 2006 at 2:41 pm
Re 63: Possible alternative Mark Trail plot scenario:
Rusty clone Tony goes canoe camping with Mark Trail, makes fast friends with Rusty, his identical twin. Tony gains deep appreciation for Lost Forest natural habitat as Woodzy Owls circles around his canoe. Mark Trail saves Tony from dangerous situation, winning eternal gratitude of road czar and commitment to never building road through LoFo, followed by coffee, whammo cakes and light hearted domestic merriment back at Lost Forest.
Ferd Berfel
March 3rd, 2006 at 3:17 pm
Sassy,
I like! I like! (I was #63, forgot to add my name.)
One problem though. Given the numerical limitations of the Mark Trail Only Eight Cast Members Acting Troupe, wouldn’t Rusty and Tony be played by the same dwarf?
Of course, they could use all those old Patty Duke Show tricks.
CHA5NCE
March 3rd, 2006 at 4:25 pm
Don’t you see what’s coming? Either the new teacher is going to disapprove of Liz’s mixed race relationship with the cop (and give her a lesson in fractions as they pertain to bloodline). Or the cop is going to fall for the new teacher, letting Liz off the hook to pursue the pilot. Either way, Liz will rise above it in pure “Mildred Pierce” of the North fashion.
MotoMike
March 3rd, 2006 at 5:23 pm
David (60): You have a point; I’m just really, really sorry you had to bring up Mallard Fillmore to make it. I don’t remember the firestorm about the character outing himself, but that was a long time ago – was it Anthony? Do you have a link to the firestorm?
Actually, for me, the Canadian-ness of the strip is something I really like, although I only get a rough approximation of the dialog because my Canadian-to-English dictionary is pretty old and to do it online via BabelFish is difficult for some reason. But it’s worth the time translating.
Bassogap
March 3rd, 2006 at 5:44 pm
Lawrence…he owns the landscaping business back in Foobville, where Liz works in the non-teaching season, and where she’s accosted by the local goober when nobody’s looking.
Tom T.
March 3rd, 2006 at 10:47 pm
So, would the correct Canadian term for the new teacher be “First Nation Little Person”?
Dee
March 3rd, 2006 at 11:53 pm
It seems like everytime I turn around the foobs are tackling some problem with ignorance and predjudice. Im waiting for April to come home with a boyfriend with webbed toes and fingers, who coincidently is the product of a plural marriage, and wants to make the littlest patterson Wife #5.
“Its not our choice to decide whats wrong and whats right. All I know is that he has an extra thumb……and its conjoined to my heart.”
Mibbitmaker
March 3rd, 2006 at 11:59 pm
The Lawrence story is like Lisa originally being an unwed mother in high school: it’s from the old days, when FBOFW and FW did it right. Before FBOFW went wacky and FW went from being a humor strip to a proto-soap. The outcry was from intollerant right-wing moral types, whereas the jibes here make alot of sense.
Interesting the native North American culture being bigger in Canada, the very country that tried (succeeded? I don’t remember the outcome) to turn sacred native ground into a golf course. A golf course!!! Careful there, Mtigveeblefetzer!
Most importantly, I just wanted to type “Mtigveeblefetzer”.
Dee
March 4th, 2006 at 12:02 am
to 23: Lion King is very similar to Shakespeares hamlet. Just thought I would throw my geek knowledge about into the ring
Dub Not Dubya
March 4th, 2006 at 3:43 am
MotoMike: you can read about the FBOFW gay firestorm at:
http://www.fbofw.com/char_pgs/lawrence/
Click all five pages of the section for the full story.
dlauthor
March 4th, 2006 at 9:48 am
Ah, today’s Pluggers provides another reason why I want its current creator to fall in a pit full of brown recluse spiders: the implication that eating well is somehow not for the salt of the earth in this country. Forget about those newfangled “nutrients”! Just eat a gigantic banana split every night! If this is how “ordinary” Americans really think, no wonder we’re the fattest damn country since Austria annexed the Duchy of Obesia.
Also, something else that’s bugging me about FBOFW, that I only identified today: who the hell talks like these people, anyway? “This job is not for everyone”? Lynn, you might not have noticed, but about 99% of the English-speaking world would say “this job isn’t for everyone.” Please polish your tin ear.
It is nice, though, to see Lizardbreath demonstrating to the newbie teacher the art of strangling a student. I imagine Johnny Snowball there won’t be found till at least spring thaw. Maybe Officer Do-Right will be brought in to investigate his disappearance!
Oh, and Mallard forgot to tell a joke again. Unless, of course, the joke is that he’s quoting a book published in 1999 (toward the end of the Clinton presidency, when there was an economic boom) as if it were published in 2006 (different president, completely different economy), and then feigning surprise that, unlike him, the media don’t consider information that’s SEVEN YEARS OLD to be news. If that’s the joke, it’s frickin’ hilarious.
Ubiq
March 4th, 2006 at 6:48 pm
In today’s FBoFW, Liz notes that teaching isn’t for everybody. You’d think that anybody named Dokis would have to be high up on that list.
Of course, a lifetime with that name may have given her the ability to tolerate being called Dorkus and Dogkiss.
Dee
March 6th, 2006 at 1:11 pm
You know what? I’m so sick of everybody putting down america for being Too Fat. Seriously, we should be patting ourselves on the back for being able to feed most of the general population. We should be proud of ourselves that our people are falling over starving to death from lack of nutrition, but rather flourishing. So a few people are not equipped to handle the abundence in this county and die from heartattacks. Thats just natural selection. The children of those who live will have highed metabolisms or more self control. Just like the children of those who survived cholhera had higher immune systems. For the love of god, its not the majority of our population is bedridden from obesity. Then we would have a problem.