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The Middletons, 5/18/06

I’ve often excoriated The Middletons for its extreme middle-of-the-road bland lameness, for a mediocrity so shameless that it makes Herb and Jamaal look somewhat above average. But there’s one thing that I have to give it credit for: it deals unflinchingly with the sex lives of old people.

What?

No, I’m not joking.

OK, laugh it up, whippersnapper, but you’re going to be old some day, and you’re still going to want to get it on, and the last thing you’ll want is some young punk acting like his or her generation invented sex. Like you never got freak nasty back in the day!

Well, maybe you didn’t, in which case, you’d want to get busy with a suspender-clad, bow-tie wearing senior hunk all the more. My point, though, is that The Middletons proudly features a sexually aggressive old lady character, and all of us who are now or who will someday be old ought to salute that.

But no matter what your age, don’t talk about it in front of your kids though, because: ew.