Metapost: The urge to buy Comics Curmudgeon merch … TO THE MOON!
Fans of They’ll Do It Every Time know all about the Urge, that unnamable impulse that drives the urged to visit some horrible act of violence — usually something along the lines of skinning alive or burning to death — upon the perpetrator of whatever minor transgression is the subject of that day’s installment. Sometimes it’s the urge to e-mail someone to the moon; sometimes it’s the urge to pan-fry his hide; and sometimes, it’s just an undifferentiated and all-encompassing urge. In TDIET, the urge is denoted by a helpful label and an arrow pointing to the urged individual — but how can you let the world know that you have the urge? Why, with one of these awesome shirts designed by faithful reader monsieurjohn, obviously!
Don’t be shy about showing the world your urges! Order one today! I think these will be really fun for taking pictures in with the wearer in some TDIET-esque situation, so I urge you to please do that! And, as always, there are other kinds of merchandise I can add this graphic to, so please let me know if what you’re looking for isn’t available.
wanders
December 4th, 2007 at 9:24 am
We need to save Mary Worth over at the Salt Lake Tribune. Vote for your three least favorites, which of course, WON’T be Mary Worth, and then leave a comment begging them to keep her!
http://extras.sltrib.com/comicsSurvey/
Oh, and buy a shirt.
True Fable
December 4th, 2007 at 9:33 am
For that matter, Comics Curmudgeon merch makes great Christmas gifts! They won’t know what the hell any of it means, so you can fill them in on the joke!
OR… they can buy it for YOU. bwahaha.
Never teh Bride
December 4th, 2007 at 9:33 am
I’m not sure, but I think Granthony called Liz fat in today’s FOOB.
Groovymarlin
December 4th, 2007 at 9:35 am
That shirt made me LOL. I might have to order one now.
FOOB: OMG. Anthony is so creepy looking. Here I thought it was the ’stache; turns out, no, it’s his face.
gkl
December 4th, 2007 at 9:35 am
MW: I was going to comment on Jeff’s folly of declaring that Mary’s meddling is a “responsibility”–and I guess I just did–but I’d also like to point out that the logo of the Bum Boat looks more like a shining, glimmering turd than it does a boat.
Garfield: But… since Christmas trees are sort of conically shaped, nailing one to the wall would inherently make it crooked.
Get Fuzzy: It’s like a Mary Worth Crossover!
GA: Actually, a tin can is sort of the opposite of FDIC approved. But then again, you’re stupid.
MF: Why are ducks assholes?
FW: You think you’d like a small cheese pizza? Really? Most pizzeria patrons are able to make their orders with a bit more certainty.
DtM: If only Margaret were on a swingset or something, we could have the Finger Triangle of Hate. Or, being Dennis the Menace, the Finger Triangle of Mild Perturbance.
FC: And today, Jeffy learns that you shouldn’t ask a question if you can’t handle the answer.
True Fable
December 4th, 2007 at 9:39 am
oh, and I got the Urge for some Tuesday snarkin’:
A3G Awww. Tommie gets kissed. In 2012, Tommie will get laid, thus fulfilling the ancient Mayan prophecy of the end of days for planet Earth.
BB Beetle is having second thoughts about his relationship with Sarge. That, or he’s leaving him a big reminder to stop by his private area.
Cathy (Must Die) Too late, Irving. You have won a perpetual life membership to Limp Dicks Anonymous.
DtM The Battle of the Accusing Pointy Fingers was a brief and bloodless skirmish between an old fuck and a small unremarkable boy the man unreasonably feared.
(WT)DT I don’t know about you, but I’m awfully damn tired of seeing that lace doily rendition of 13 Mockingbird Lane.
Dilbert Dilbert has a GOAT! A scapegoat! Okay, I’m going to watch this strip until the scapegoat joke dies out, which could be anywhere from two days to two years.
FC You live in a Catholic home, Jeffy. Where do you SUPPOSE Mommy will want to an evil child like you to go? Go to HELL, Jeffy!
FBoFW Speaking of Hell — Panel 1: Francie wants to hog all her father’s time, fearful he will mate with the strange lady and spawn Patterfoob children, something Francie cannot abide.
Panel 2: Liz follows the Patterson mantra and tries to enable the whole give-in-to-the-demands-of-a-child scenario.
Panel 3: Francie’s onto Liz’s game, and wants to know what’s in it for Daddy since that tightass bitch sure can’t be puttin’ out. Wimpthony explains that he’s been trying to put in but admits it hasn’t been easy.
Panel 4: Francie points out that Wimpthony already has the responsibility of raising one child, and that dating a woman with a childish temperament is not a good idea. Wimpthony seems to believe there is room for two in the cage downstairs in the basement.
Panel 5: “No, Father. once I hit puberty I will experience a growth spurt even bigger than the one I hit at one year of age. There will be no room for both The Pasty One, and me. So in the interest of squicky incestuous-sounding dialogue, your best hope is to choose me, because I’ll be young a lot longer, and The Pasty One is just a cocktease anyway. Oh, and Squick again, asshead.”
Fred Bassett Lazy bastard.
FW Holy shit, we hit the Interminable Dragging Through Nothing Interesting nor Plotline-Driving Whatsoever Days.
H&J I had to really study panel two in order to figure out just what in the hell I was looking at. At first I thought he pulled his bottom lip up over his eyebrows, except for those two round things at the corners. Then I realized those were his nose in two different sides of his face! I’m going to need more therapy now. Got to visit a goat farm, quick!
JP Abbey!
They’reYou’re back!Luann As a Christmas present to the whole world, Brad left TJ hanging off the roof for the rest of Christmas Season, bringing his bones down only to toss on the Yuletide bonfire on New Year’s Eve.
MT Mark has to THINK. Thnk HARD. Get that little spitcurl workin’ for him. Gee, I need to revisit the Forums and Mark Trail Theater one of these days.
MW Wait – advising people is one of Mary’s responsibilities? Who the hell arranged that?! You mean people actually GO to her, rather than be accosted in the hallway while the Meddling Fairy dusts them with her cassarole dust? The hell you say!
MC I laughed. I may even *gasp!* find a copy and put it on our breakroom corkboard. I’d probably offend as many as four people when they finally recognized themselves in Jeff T. Shark. The rest of us Norms would like it, though.
Peanuts My favorite classic ‘Nuts. It may find its way to the corkboard, too.
RMMD Food? Rex wasn’t planning on eating food at the cabin. (okay, let’s put aside the gay jokes!) He was going to imagine all those tasty trout he released back into the stream. Niki, of course, will hate himself for not mentally cooking the trout enough before he imagined he bit into it.
S-M Wh–? Peter’s going to get some, for what!? He didn’t do anything but get his ass thrown over a garbage can! And why would that bracelet do any good, if all he’s going to do is get there and say, “Oh, I can’t do anything because it might give away my secret identity!” I say, let Peter admit he’s Spiderman, and he can go scare JJJ shitless. End of conflict. End of comic strip. End of problem.
Artist formerly known as Ben
December 4th, 2007 at 9:44 am
12/4 (repost)
TDIET: Today’s entry is from Milford. Marty Moon’s home office must be filling up with MD 20/20 bottles again.
MW: Jeff is actually going there! He’s telling Mary that she needs to preserve her meddling time. Does the rest of Charterstone get a vote?
BB: Why that stop sign black? Is Beetle going goth, or was there just a deep discount on black ink?
S-M: Controlling much? And no, I don’t want to know about that tingle.
BC: Gather round, children, and I’ll tell you of a wondrous time when Curls’ insults were funny and made sense. Alas, those days are lost to us.
9CL: Hey, you asked, Julie.
Marvin: Thanks for the horrifying thought little guy. With any luck, this is the closest you’ll get to media superstardom.
Shoe: Oh please. The black cat/jealous cat plot is boring enough in “Alley.” We don’t need it replicated somewhere else.
GT: Gil doesn’t seem surprised that those two kids are hovering over his sundeck. Actually, isn’t it a little late in the year to be out tanning?
Lockhorns: Leroy is always either twisting and fruging with some 8 foot Playboy cartoon or sinking into a Barcalounger funk. Pfizer should make him its mascot.
SFx: I see that Bob Weber is making a tribute to the late greate Dick “Mr Whipple” Wilson. Let’s all squeeze the Charmin, just this once, in his memory.
A3G: Oh sweet love! Two ads will be coming down from DorkDate.com tonight.
H&J: Herb can walk into a roomful of fighting, screaming children and still keep his mind filled with boring platitudes. He has clearly studied under the Rinpoche Mary Worth.
Calico
December 4th, 2007 at 9:49 am
Mmmmm…cheese pizza. The Urge…and it’s not even ten in the morning yet!
MW – Confusing advising with butting in, Jeff? I think you’ve had either a couple of stiff rounds at the ‘Boat, or you’ve been totally brainwashed by the biddy. Or both.
BTW, that flying fish is about to bite your fingers off.
FC – Don’t make me answer this question for you, Jeffy. Please.
Must Love Dogs
December 4th, 2007 at 10:04 am
Hagar: Eddie and his male companion are shocked and dismayed at the prospect of sharing a boat with lots of women. Guess no-one will be ‘getting lucky’ tonight.
Blondie: Meanwhile, Dagwood lusts after a giant sausage.
Allie Cat
December 4th, 2007 at 10:07 am
Luann – So they’re secretly into bondage/hanging play? When will Brad and TJ succumb to their carnal desires, rather than focusing all their energies into a futile lights display? Also, note the stereotypical position of TJ’s wrist – if you buy in to such stereotypes.
FOOB – He likes big butts and he cannot lie. Good thing, because he’s in for a real playground of assitude in the coming years.
Mutts – I was thinking the same thing. I work the late shift today and had a hell of a time getting up. The urge to snark is what got me out of bed.
The urge, you say? I’m going to need a shirt.
AhClem
December 4th, 2007 at 11:11 am
Would it be crass of me to suggest printing the arrow and “The Urge” on the front of a pair of boxer shorts?
I thought so.
Smurt the wind raker
December 4th, 2007 at 11:12 am
Another great moment in Granthony history looms as he tells little Francie “But she was the big girl I loved before you were born.”
Lindsey
December 4th, 2007 at 12:30 pm
@ #1: I voted and said that if they get rid of Mary Worth, I will NEVER buy the paper again XD. How are they going to know?
I really like the new MW storyline. The past ones have been sort of dull, but this one sort of epitomizes the evilness of Mary. I keep rooting Jeff on in hopes that he will be the first to put her in her place for once. Do it for us, Jeff! Screw the kids in Vietnam, defeat Mary Worth forthe good of America!
As for the t-shirt, I don’t really like TDIET but I’m eyeing a couple of the other shirts in the shop…
Evade Dave
December 4th, 2007 at 2:12 pm
“The Urge” not to be confused with theurge
Jym
December 4th, 2007 at 3:48 pm
=v= How could you not make “The Urge” available on seamy undergarments? Not that I plan to buy any. I’m just sayin’.
monsieurjohn
December 4th, 2007 at 5:40 pm
I have the urge to stuff some stockings with this merch, but no way with which to visually denote said urge. Quelle dommage.
Jen
December 4th, 2007 at 6:48 pm
Er…the urge to wear a shirt that draws a nipple on your boobie?
cvk
December 4th, 2007 at 10:16 pm
#1: I discovered they aren’t sanitizing their database inputs! My comment had a single quote in it (from my use of the word “1970’s”) and I got back an ugly MS SQL Server error! Removing the single quote eliminated the error.
I didn’t explore this but it seems like one could engage in some xkcd-style database mischief at this site!
Sirkus Peanuts
December 4th, 2007 at 11:17 pm
The urge to experience deja vu from 4/9/07’s TDIET…
sonneta
December 5th, 2007 at 12:30 am
17. Jen- Thankfully, you said that, so I didn’t have to.
Will
December 5th, 2007 at 2:12 am
11 AhClem–That’s a fantastic idea.
Will
December 5th, 2007 at 2:13 am
11. AhClem–That’s a fantastic idea.
Joe
December 10th, 2007 at 1:38 am
That symbol is the same one we use in my engineering office for sewer vents.
I’m just saying.
Elvin
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