Archive: metaposts

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Hi everyone! TONIGHT is the latest fun edition of the Internet Read Aloud, my live Internet-themed comedy show, in Los Angeles!

It’s gonna be lit, much like a Christmas tree and/or menorah! Here’s the Facebook event!

And if you’re tired of me always plugging this show because you “don’t live in Los Angeles and have no intention of going there” or whatever, GOOD NEWS: if you live in the San Francisco Bay Area or plan to go there, you can see The Internet Read Aloud at SF SketchFest 2020!

The show is on Saturday, January 18 at 10 pm and I’m cohosting it with Rifftrax’s Conor Lastowka! Performers include Bill Corbett of MST3K/Rifftrax, Laser Malena-Webber of the Doubleclicks, Natasha Muse, and some more people that we haven’t booked yet but will soon! Seating is limited so get your tickets now!

Also, it’s Friday so don’t think I’ve forgotten the comment of the week, yo!

150 yards for Chance Macy and 60 more for Charlie Roh. Unfortunately, the rest of the starting lineup was out with the measles and the bench players were all making TikToks about whatever Euphoria is.” –Irrischano

The runners up: Also hilarious!

“My immediate assumption when I saw the last panel was that Snuffy was ticked off on account of because the Parson took all the best and biggest portions of Sunday dinner for his very own self. In Snuffy’s own cabin, yet. Or is that someone else’s cabin? Like Elviney’s cabin? Or is it the parsonage? If it’s the parsonage, why are Loweezy and Elviney hanging around there? Or do they do all the cooking for the Parson, which might also account for Snuffy’s rage? This is the most thought I’ve ever given to a BG&SS, and given the meager results for the effort invested, I don’t intend to ever do it again.” –Poteet

“If you’re looking for a liquor you can discreetly pour into your afternoon coffee in order to get a mild buzz at work, cabernet sauvignon is not the way to go. The packaging is clunky and obvious, plus it’ll taste weird. Go with rum or brandy, maybe some cheap Grand Marnier knockoff, since you’ll want to save the real thing for home.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“According to our records, Mr. Wise, your HMO will only cover your wife’s caesarean if you perform the operation yourself. Now please follow me into this room where we have the DIY training video ready for you to watch.” –guillermo el chiclero

“‘Catch up, pal. No one cares,’ is a perfectly succinct recap of every Gil Thorp story.” –TheDiva

“On board for more ‘young dynamo‘-like euphemisms for ‘Zak likes to fuck.’ Hoping we get an ‘energetic,’ an ‘insatiable,’ and dare I even dream, a reference to the ‘Zak attack.’” –Dan

“While the set of ‘people who wanted to hear about Darrin and Mopey Pete‘ is, in fact, zero, the subset of those who wanted to hear about Turtle Thompson and his work ethic is, seemingly impossibly, smaller.” –Cloudbuster

“The anatomy of that rightmost chicken is messing with me. Does she have two left wings, with the rightmost one resting on her head, or does she have an enormous ass with a huge row of feathers leading up to her head? I’m not even going to get into her apparent psychic powers, I would just like to know how many asses she has.” –Enlong

“Darrin and Mopey Pete sure look happy that they managed to get the old guy to dredge up bad memories. ‘The topic clearly upsets him! Score!’” –JJ48

“When Zak says he’ll order ‘special meals,’ he means Ensure, right? Or maybe liver and onions? He doesn’t know much about the care and feeding of the elderly, but, God love him, he tries.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“I hear you’re going through menopause, a perfectly natural change of life with symptoms that can range from mild to severe. Let me do more for you! I can run errands, get you special meals, take care of your adult son, hire the finest medical specialists, enroll you in clinical trials, get you a live-in private nurse, buy one of those medical beds with bars on the side, put you in a plastic bubble, date younger women to take the pressure off you — anything! I’m never too busy for you, Iris!” –BigTed

“I would look up some instances in which Pluggers has hypocritically glorified the phenomenon commonly known as ‘plumber’s butt’ but then I’d probably get arrested.” –Chyron HR

“Man I love the vicious side-eye that plugger is giving. ‘How dare that skinny boy use up that much cotton twill for his meagre buttocks! My 45″ waistline weeps for that wasted fabric!’” –pugfuggly

“‘I saw London, sonny-boy, from the bombsite of my Dornier. Saw Paris, too, when we flew over in triumph. And in the Luftwaffe we wore our pants high and tight!’ Pluggers have escaped justice and lived among us for many years.” –Voshkod

“With brilliant jokes like ‘municipal and metropolitan sound a bit similar,’ it’s not hard to see why over 300 newspapers still run Crankshaft, somehow.” –Schroduck

“Can anyone make out Chet’s CVV code? I need to do a little Christmas shopping. He owes us one.” –Old School Allie Cat

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon. And we need to give a big shout-out to our advertisers:

  • Banana Triangle: Poor Tom and Scotty and Rosemary, lost on an island somewhere in the sea. Frightened and desperate, hungry as could be, devoured each other; problem solved — one, two, three! A webcomic updated thrice weekly.

If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!

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Happy post-Thanksgiving, y’all! We are one week away from the latest fun edition of the Internet Read Aloud, my live Internet-themed comedy show, in Los Angeles!

It’s gonna be lit, much like a Christmas tree and/or menorah! Here’s the Facebook event!

And if you’re tired of me always plugging this show because you “don’t live in Los Angeles and have no intention of going there” or whatever, GOOD NEWS: if you live in the San Francisco Bay Area or plan to go there, you can see The Internet Read Aloud at SF SketchFest 2020!

The show is on Saturday, January 18 at 10 pm and I’m cohosting it with Rifftrax’s Conor Lastowka! Performers include Bill Corbett of MST3K/Rifftrax, Laser Malena-Webber of the Doubleclicks, and some more people that we haven’t booked yet but will soon! Seating is limited so get your tickets now!

Only limited numbers of you made the comments of the week this week, but this was the week’s funniest!

“‘Mistletoe Express‘ sounds like the code name the Attorney General used to cover the massive investigation into the decade-long, company-wide string of sexual harassment at Amtrak.” –Ettorre

And your runners up! Very funny!

“The artist may have put a lot of unnecessary effort into designing those chess pieces (and copypasting each piece over and over to create a whole set, the lines of which are clearly off-scale in relation to the rest of the strip), but you have to admire how he pasted Dag’s ‘shocked’ face so the eyes are looking at Elmo, high above the board, rather than Elmo’s move. It’s the sort of ‘screw it, good enough’ attitude towards line-of-sight alignment that I haven’t seen since Detective Pikachu.” –Goiter Boy

“In a comic strip it immediately counts as a joke if you mention something that didn’t exist in 1963. Even if it also doesn’t exist in 2019.” –Rube

“I bet the Blondie writer knew pretty quickly it was a terrible joke, maybe even before he started, I mean, how can he not know that? He is, technically, a professional comedy writer. In a weird way I respect that he ignored all concerns about quality and respect for his audience and just plowed ahead, like some Soviet comedian who knows the Politburo’s obsession with turkey puns is painfully lame but also knows saying so would get him a trip to the gulag.” –toxic

“Based on the fact that, every day, Iris looks younger and younger, Zak older and older and Wilbur shorter and uglier, I think the big twist isn’t pregnancy. It’s that Iris is a succubus, and is growing in strength and size from draining the life energy of Charterstone men.” –Where’s Rocky?

STATE V. SMIF: The motion of petitioner for leave to proceed in forma pauperis is denied. Petitioner is reminded to submit future petitions in compliance with Rule 33.1 of the Rules of this Court, paying particular attention to the subsection which states this Court may deny any petition with tobacco stains.” –Voshkod

“The menacing silhouette reminds Hi to close the bathroom door before he shaves his balls, which he had better do today, she felt stubble last night.” –nescio

“I’d like to imagine that the ‘Soo-Preme Court‘ is a panel of highly intelligent pigs, all dressed in little black robes. One can even hold a gavel in his mouth. But Sheriff Tait is right: they’re two towns over. Snuffy will never make it.” –Joe Blevins

“A dog eating a mailman is wrong, but understandable since he’s a carnivore. Now, a goose eating a turkey… that’s just fucked.” –Pozzo

Tomorrow’s surgery should go just fine. Did you notice I included the word ‘should’ there? Please acknowledge that verbally. Oh, it’s no big deal — that’s just something our lawyers like to have us do for some reason.” –BigTed

“The joke is that this is clearly Act I scene 2 of The Nutcracker, and the speaking audience member is spoiling the overwhelming dramatic tension of What happens next??????? by referring to a character who doesn’t appear until Act II. Oh the risible churlishness!” –odinthor

“Is her friend the fourth fairy from the left? Because that chick’s ass is 12 feet off the stage in a grand jeté. I’d be proud as hell to know her, too. And, you know, grateful.” –boojum

“That’s right, this place is packed with well known gym equipment! Equipment like groin-high treadmills, a stationary bike with the seat four inches from the handlebars, and a volleyball and lasso. Why, they even have a set of playground monkeybars and a cannonball! This place is truly gym-packed!” –Mighty Sean Young

“Thanks for the heartfelt Thanksgiving wishes, located under the garbage can. I guess?” –Just John

“The town being saved by selling scrap iron from a broken down train might actually BE a good story. Good but not great.” –foodar

“We are all in a state of permanent decay, our once-wonderful and strong bodies slowly betraying us with the march of time and age, but that only happens to ladies! Women be dyin’ amirite?” –Alex Parker-Spencer-Driver

“I have absolutely no idea what is going on in this strip anymore, so I’ll just say that it’s pretty impressive how many apples that family managed to cram into that fruit bowl.” –pugfuggly

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon. And we need to give a big shout-out to our advertisers:

  • Banana Triangle: Poor Tom and Scotty and Rosemary, lost on an island somewhere in the sea. Frightened and desperate, hungry as could be, devoured each other; problem solved — one, two, three! A webcomic updated thrice weekly.

If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!

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Folks, if you are tired of me always plugging my live comedy show because you “don’t live in Los Angeles and have no intention of going there” or whatever, GOOD NEWS: if you live in the San Francisco Bay Area or plan to go there, you can see The Internet Read Aloud at SF SketchFest 2020! The show is on Saturday, January 18 at 10 pm and I’m cohosting it with Rifftrax’s Conor Lastowka! Performers include Bill Corbett of MST3K/Rifftrax, Laser Malena-Webber of the Doubleclicks, and some more people that we haven’t booked yet but will soon! Seating is limited so get your tickets now! UPDATE: OK WHEN I FIRST POSTED THIS TICKETS WERE NOT AVAILABLE BUT NOW THEY ARE SO GO BUY THEM, THANKS!!!!!