Archive: metaposts

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Folks, do not forget: in just over a week, on December 5th, at 6 pm Pacific/9 pm Eastern, yet another Zoom version of my beloved comedy show, The Internet Read Aloud, is happening! Special ZOOMSUKKAH edition!

Here is the Zoom link, which will let you into the show at the appointed time, and here is the Facebook event, if you find those useful for your event record-keeping!

But now, the moment you’ve been waiting for … the comment of the week:

“I’m not sure if Thayer is absolutely disgusted at the situation or if his bean-shaped head forces his his mouth into a permanent grimace like some kind of Hapsburg jaw.” –ArtOfWargames, on Twitter

And the runners up! Very funny!

‘Pun intended, I assume.’ ‘Sadly, yes.’ The Funky Winkerbean mission statement.” –Pozzo

“I’m not American so I’m not that familiar with turkeys, but is it normal for them to come unwrapped in ordinary cardboard boxes? I’d expect some kind of refrigeration is required, and while I appreciate the effort to reduce plastic waste, I’d also expect most people wouldn’t want a cardboard box soaked in turkey juice. Could this all be leading up to the end of Funky Winkerbean — not through cancer as we all expected, but from mass food poisoning? Please say yes.” –Truckosaurus

“A strip smugly mocking other comics for predictable gags is still preferable to another comic about Trixie and her fucking sunbeam.” –Rosstifer

“Sure, just about everyone enjoys ice cream cones, but the plugger, in his aw-shucks, salt-of-the-earth wisdom, knows that cones are too good to be restricted to a dessert. So it’s natural enough that, with Thanksgiving just round the corner, he’s decided to help himself to a scoop of mashed potatoes with gravy, topped by a scrumptious ball of spinach and stuffing.” –Urlance Woolsbane

“That better be mutagenic slime that Daisy just stepped in because the biggest disappointment in this strip to date is that his head isn’t shaped like a damned daisy.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“Christ, Rocky. Beetle just asked if you had any Vicodin, he doesn’t need your life story.” –Bill L

“It appears someone is trying to steal the refrigerator, but these two don’t care. They’re on break!” –nescio

“‘Are you expecting a big crowd for Thanksgiving?’ asks Claudia with a palpably false smile, desperately trying to pretend that she’s never heard of covid.” –Rita Lake

“Normally Slylock Fox ‘True or False’ questions teach kids facts about science and nature, but I guess children need to learn how a handful of megaconglomerates exert huge control over popular culture through their extensive intellectual property portfolios too.” –Schroduck

“Ed does not seem to bring himself any joy with those malapropisms. I guess because he doesn’t know he’s making them. So maybe Pam’s smile means, ‘Look at that old bastard. Fuckin’ up and doesn’t even know it.’” –Joe Blevins


“Loretta, out of pure spite, has made a big Thanksgiving meal for just the two of them so Leroy will be forced to eat the leftovers. Leroy, out of pure spite, will choke down every bite of those leftovers, making pithy comments about Loretta’s cooking the whole time. This is why their marriage has lasted for so long.” –TheDiva

“Good thing they have that baby gate up to prevent Rex from wandering the house and accidentally committing surgery.” –Voshkod

In the 23rd century Reedhoover_ix04d will think of some witticism about how pluggers put their shuttle crafts up on blocks when the orbiting junkyard is out of dilithium crystals, and the circuits in his monoclonal cerebrum chip will automatically transmit it to the collective mind of all the strip’s fans, via its E-mail address.” –seismic-2

“Tommy’s hard work seems to be convincing Brandy that he is on the straight and narrow, because as we all know, simple repetitive tasks are not something you can do while on drugs, nor are they something that are made much more tolerable by being high.” –pugfuggly

Remember: If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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Whoa check it out everybody, it’s this week’s top comment!

“Jeffy may gripe about the ninth plague, but he’ll be ecstatic when the tenth arrives.” –Lt. Kije

And some funny runners up? Absolutely.

“Didn’t many species of dinosaurs have extremely short arms? It makes sense that they couldn’t possibly survive multiple asteroids landing on Earth, but it seems just as unlikely that they could win a game of basketball.” –BigTed

“How did the Parson get so much money from a dirt-poor community? Well, he’s using covid as a threat. ‘We’ll put the collection basket on this long stick,’ he told his congregation, ‘but if we don’t collect enough money, next week the stick gets shorter.’” –Ace

“Cut to: Parson Tuttle forlornly eating money.” –Joe Blevins

Which color blazer goes best with a hot pink bowler hat and muay thai shorts? Doesn’t matter, because the bride and groom already made the most important decision for a pleasant wedding ceremony: not inviting Slylock Fox.” –jroggs

“Smash cut to 32-year-old Dennis struggling to get his drivers license out of his piggy bank to hand to the cop.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“Slylock knows that a guy who eats cheese in bed is guaranteed to get stains on his white coat, possibly before the ceremony even starts.” –Bill L

“Sam Catchem throwing out an enthusiastic ‘Nice’ to look smart in front of Tracy, before admitting to himself he has no idea what Lt. Gizmo actually said, and therefore having to follow up with a sheepish ‘So, that means…’ is heartbreakingly relatable. Dick Tracy: Come for the grotesque physical violence, stay for the emotional self-flagellation!” –Doctor Moreau

“How come we just now hear about his work with kids? I’m sorry Tommy, but just hanging around a playground trying to sell weed is not a recognized charity.” –Maltmash3r

Bird Lady’s expression speaks volumes. ‘It’s another bit,’ she moans internally. ‘Everything’s a fucking bit around here! There’s not a single unironic utterance to be heard! Goodness knows I try to be a decent person, but I must have done something pretty terrible to be condemned to live in a town of sad-sack amateur comedians.’” –Urlance Woolsbane

“It’s happened! Another victim of Mary’s notorious Slouching Sofa. Now it will be a long battle before Tommy can sit up straight again.” –Arabella

“Masterful meddle by Mary here, convincing Tommy to volunteer more as penance for a thing he didn’t do. ‘Yes, Tommy, you resisted the offer of drugs immediately and forcefully, but then again, she did still leave you, didn’t she? If only you had done more, perhaps you would have earned some small happiness.’” –BananaSam

“Well one good thing about Tommy, he won’t make the world of drug dealing seem interesting.” –N.L. Urker, the Phillips screwdriver of the gods

“[a month later] What do you think, you kids know how I can get Brandy to take me back?” –Dan

“BROKE: Pets have no conception of the different days of the week
WOKE: In the COVID era and the month-long election night, humans have no conception of the different days of the week” –Ettorre

“Can’t wait for tomorrow’s strip, which deals with Sourpuss’ love of fettuccine.” –Pozzo

“When Jeffy gazes into the abyss, the abyss gazes somewhere else, because the kid is freaky looking.” –Voshkod

“Dagwood cuts the tip off the cornucopia and uses it as a funnel to get all that crap in his gullet as quickly as possible.” –nescio

“You know how that guy in The Princess Bride found out about that incredibly deadly fictional poison and slowly built up his immunity until it had no effect on him? Dagwood has been doing the same thing with vibrio infections.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“Man, that kid is just going to town on that bag that was full of … well, eggs and baking powder. I feel like however hungry they might be, they are going to regret it.” –pachoo

“Yes, despite his youth, Elmo’s mastery of Latin has progressed to the fourth declension. By next week, a discussion of res extensa will lead to Dagwood consuming an extremely large sub.” –Nekrotzar

Remember: If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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FAITHFUL FREADERS, do not forget that there is an online, Zoom-based version of my beloved comedy show, The Internet Read Aloud, happening THIS SUNDAY, November 15, at 1 pm Pacific! It features show favorites Patrick Susmilch and Sammy Mowrey, Rifftrax writer Conor Lastowka, and show newcomer Nina Butterly! Here’s the Zoom link, for future reference, and here’s the Facebook event, if you find that helpful!

And do not forget that there were many funny comments this week, and this one was my favorite:

“Yes, his eyes reflect his joy in living. He’d kill Rex and his whole cabal for one Snickers bar.” –Dennis Jimenez

But these other ones I also enjoyed!

“I don’t know what I love best about the background tableau in the last panel: Red Swim Trunks looking mildly disappointed that he doesn’t get to strip down and piss on his friend’s leg in public, or the fact that someone brought a bottle of vinegar to their beach day.” –TheDiva

“I had to try to figure out if Beetle’s childhood bully and the Sarge are indeed meant to be one and the same, so I compared features and came to the realization that they indeed have the same ears. But then I noticed that Beetle also has the same ears, and digging deeper, discovered that nearly every male character in the strip has the same ears, and God help me all I can see now are these freakish flesh-colored danishes, even when I close my eyes.” –Living on Video

“We make a lot of jokes about how depressing the Funkyverse is, but let’s consider that it’s a place where deafness and dementia get better on their own, you can drive through roaring fires without getting hurt, and 100 year old men can hold down jobs and garden daily. It actually seems pretty good.” –Rube

“The best part is that you can see the tortured anguish in Dennis’ face as tries desperately keep his head from spinning around.” –Joe Momma

“I’m reading Dinkle’s dialogue in panel 1 as highly sarcastic, given the face he makes at us in panel 2. ‘Giving piano lessons is always enjoyable, my dear readers. Can someone come and wring this little brat’s neck? Or mine? I’m past caring which.’” –Mr. A

“If that kid isn’t sharing a video of Harry Dinkle on TikTok entitled ‘Get *This* Miserable Piece of Shit’ then what even is the point?” –Tabby Lavalamp

“This would have been a great opportunity for a Tom Sawyer joke but in Slylock’s post-apocalyptic world there aren’t enough humans around for our hero to trick anyone else into painting the fence for him. That’s why he can impress a young lady with superficial touch-ups rather than something useful like, say, fixing the fence.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“‘If you think that’s bad, wait until you hear it‘ is the headline of the most popular review of Lisa’s Story on Audible.” –Ettorre

“I don’t know how I expected Gil Thorp to acknowledge the pandemic, but it wasn’t like this.” –Morgan Wick

“TFW venting to your Coach Kaz mannequin just isn’t enough, and you’re forced to talk to your wife.” –Lawyerbob

“Daisy never actually answers the question of whether he can read. Good thing the front page has a full color picture of a big space rock.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“I’m not saying Daisy is a bad criminal, but if I hired a guy for a museum heist and gave him a newspaper article about a million dollar meteorite, and then had to sit him down and explain that a million dollars is a lot of money, I’d start looking for a new accomplice.” –Schroduck

“I’m sorry, I don’t buy that Hi is a horny hubby with a wandering eye a la John of For Better Or For Worse. He seems more like a straight-laced guy with no regard for younger generations a la Dustin’s Dad. I imagine he lectured this Beverage Cart Girl on her and her generation’s poor work ethic and then stiffed her a tip ‘so you’ll learn to save money instead of blowing it on avocado toast.’ Chip just wants to apologize on his father’s behalf.” –jenna

“You know who is always nattering on about bacon? Hipsters. You know who is into pointless archaic stuff like DIY repairs on cathode-ray tube TVs and homegrown tomatoes and newspaper comic strips and probably phone books? Hipsters. Pluggers are hipsters! Get over it!” –matt w

“I fly down to the grocery store and pick up discarded coupons that I use to build up my nest! We’re birds, right?” –pugfuggly

“I’m sorry, did I say coupons? I meant ‘coup.’ I threw a coup, initiated martial law, and control the entire economic output of the town. No more questions, and someone pluck those guys and throw them into a stew pot.” –Voshkod

“It’s a nice touch that the rhino man’s eyes point straight sideways. In the frenzy of eating another animal, he reverts to a primal state, and in that he remembers on some instinctive level that he is supposed to be prey. But his combined form is just human enough to experience the other side too. It is something never meant to be, herbivore devouring herbivore like when the divine order is upset in Macbeth, and I am sure it is that unnatural defiance he craves far more than any simple flavor.” –pachoo

Remember: If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!