Archive: metaposts

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Good morning, folks! Let’s greet the day with this comment of the week:

“You’re a plugger if you don’t know the name of a technology that is so ubiquitous that there are jokes about it in Pluggers.” –matt w

These runners up are also very funny!

“I defended myself by planking, as the Officer’s Manual instructs.” –Thomas Keith, on Facebook

“So I Googled ‘do frogs care for their young’ to determine if today’s Six Chix had any basis in reality (as one does), and found out that not only is the answer ‘in some cases, yes’ but the highlighted response focused on the strawberry poison frog, where not only does the father care for the eggs, he ‘pees on them to make sure they don’t lose their moisture.’ Fortunately Six Chix was unaware of that particular tidbit, which is really more the provenance of Mark Trail, or Marvin.” –TheDiva

“Sarge is being sincere, and his eyes are closed as he envisions the pitch. ‘Okay, so, you know in The Little Mermaid< ?i> when the fish broad saves the guy? Okay now what if instead of a mermaid, it’s a bear! It’s The Little Mermaid meets The Revenant. You smell that? That’s money you’re smelling!’” –Jenna

“To be fair, JJ and Leola are only making guest appearances, so it’s not in their contracts that they have to do homage to Barney Google. They get the day off.” –Myrtle

“Why are they thanking us? Did we somehow cause their continuation, or rather, fail to cause their cancellation? Are we all culpable?!” –JJ48

The Six Chix cartoon just emphasizes how lost and alone Barney Google is. Were Barney a modern, his ‘Spark Plug’ might well be a self-driving electric car. But he’s not. Snuffy has been left behind by time but he still has all the rest of Hootin’ Holler that’s been left behind with him. But Barney is a city boy, a city boy from a city that no longer exists. He doesn’t belong in Hootin’ Holler and he doesn’t belong in the modern world. Even the Steampunk fad that might have allowed him to pass for an obsessive cosplayer is fading. As long as the strip exists he is doomed to lonely wandering. End his misery, please.” –Curtis Adams

“Ah yes, I too have friends, like my wife Cherry! And I like to greet her as well, I say things, ‘Hello, my wife Cherry!’ or ‘Happy birthday, my wife Cherry!’ [nods very comfortably] I understand friendship.” –Dan

“Jeff: ‘It will be good to catch up!’ Mary: ‘I have some news about Wilbur…’ Jeff: ‘I stand corrected.’” –nescio

“Remember when I had a cat, you found it too irritating, I had to get rid of it and Estelle took care of my unwanted liability? I have some news about Wilbur.” –Ettorre

News about Wilbur? Hold the phone! …No really. Hold it. Like a normal person.” –grsblvnyk

“Don’t flatter yourself, Beetle. I’ve been annoyed with this strip for as long as I can remember.” –Peanut Gallery

“Silverdaters seems an odd choice of site for Wilbur, who’s never seemed quite that old. Perhaps he thought ‘silver’ referred not to the age bracket of its members, but rather was a general indicator of their quality. ‘I don’t deserve Golddaters,’ he thought, ‘but Silverdaters seems suitably low self-esteem.’” –Truckosaurus

“Actually, maybe leering-head guy was ogling Beetle. That’s always been his fantasy — a soldier-boy, who wears his Army hat to the beach! He left in disgust, though, once he saw those swim trunks.” –seismic-2

“From the art, it looks less like Beetle and Buxley switched places, and more like they were absorbed into each other, a sickening sound as flesh ate flesh and spat it out the other side. The thankfully missing middle panel would have shown the melded BeetleBuxley (BeeBux?) as parts writhed and passed to the other side. The third panel shows the transmogrification (as as side note, good job Chrome for recognizing the word ‘transmogrification’) nearly, but not quite, complete. An almost-Beetle addresses the audience, while a proto-Buxley continues to bud from his side. Well done bit of modern body horror for such an old strip.” –Voshkod

“Sure, Wilbur’s into sportswater sports, probably. Of course, Mary and Jeff also seem to be into water sports, but a totally different kind. Speedboating, that is. Possibly followed by motorboating? This story has gotten so long and boring that the characters would need a wide variety of kinks just to keep things lively.” –BigTed

“Horny and desperate are common interests, right?” –ZeroWolf

“‘Sports Nut‘ Wilbur, who hasn’t expressed interest in or knowledge of athletic competitions one single time since he gave up his sports writing job to pretend to be a woman for higher pay. ‘Crazy Catlady’ Estelle, who has zero interest in anything to do with cats other than taking care of the one that was recently forced into her hands as a favor for a neighbor. ‘Balanced Hobbyist’ Mary, who has compulsively baked 15 dozen muffins every single day for the last year and a half.” –jroggs

“Wilbur sure seems to get a lot of interest from the janes, if by ‘a lot,’ you mean ‘two,’ and by ‘interest’ you mean a sexless sham of a relationship.” –Sandy McGuire, on Facebook

“Sorry. With our crippling student loan debt, combined with skyrocketing rents, our only possessions are this chair and this broom. Banging on the ceiling is our only form of entertainment.” –GeoGreg

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My favorite comment of the week? It’s this one:

“Estelle will want to put one of those big burger pictures on the headboard of her bed.” –Lorne

But there were a bunch of funny one’s I enjoyed! Here’s the list!

“Now we know how the apocalyptic event that replaced most humans with talking animals came about: Count Weirdly caused it, just so he could afford a castle in New York City. That’s something that would cost 80 bajillion dollars today, yet he was able to buy one with the meager proceeds from his non-watertight bathysphere company.” –BigTed

“George’s finger inched toward the detonator. He made the first move, and by god, he was going to make the last one.” –Voshkod

“Ha ha, Mark is 100% cutting Leola loose there. ‘Don’t worry! Your corpse will provide valuable nourishment for endangered vultures!’” –pugfuggly

“The Delicious Grill is doing much better that its predecessor in that space, the International House of Undercooked Chicken.” –GeoGreg

“From what I’ve seen, stained glass is usually more associated with traditional denominations. Independent evangelical churches lean more toward the styles of Early American Industrial Park or Megachurch Brick Colossus.” –Tonio

Italics and an interrobang? That’s a surprising depth of contempt from Mary, even for Wilbur.” –cisko

“‘Don’t bother to explain!‘ is Rule #1 in the Six Chix Employee Handbook.” –nescio

“In the Funkyverse, the phrase is: ‘Abscess makes the heart-growth stronger.’ Let’s try to stick to the program, here.” –grsblvnyk

“That has to be the most phallic representation of a bed I’ve ever seen. If screwing on what looks like a big blue Johnson is what it takes to get your jollies, more power to you, but I think it’d kind of get me out of the mood.” –Pozzo

“Literally one sentence into Wilbur’s new relationship and he’s making the woman feel uncomfortable. [nods] Sure, that tracks.” –Dan

“Hoo boy is Wilbur excited about catfish! He’s going to ignore Estelle’s warning that it may cause vomiting and/or diarrhea (which should go without saying considering it’s a fish product served at a burger joint in a mall) and order up some sweet sweet catfish anyway. Estelle is incidental here — Wilbur’s first thought this morning was ‘I’ve got a date with a catfish!’” –Jenna

“I’m really enjoying that Wilbur is at least 15 years younger than Estelle (and a real person), yet is STILL a massive downgrade from catfish boyfriend by virtue of being, well, Wilbur.” –@bananawarmer, on Twitter

“Dennis’s ultimate menace: his parents love each other, but have a constant tow-headed reminder that expressing that love too physically could result in another Dennis in the world. They sacrifice the intimacy they long for, for all our sakes.” –Truckosaurus

Morning? Again?! When will my prayers bring the Ever Night? How many sacrifices will it take to attract the eye of the Great Moon?” –Enlong

I sure hope nothing happened to Doc! The authorities are going to be very suspicious if I put the blame for this catastrophe on a dead man!” –WLP

“Dammit! Why do I keep not dying in my sleep? ‘99% effective,’ my ass, D-Con!” –Damian

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My friends, tonight, YOU can see my and other hilarious people do COMEDY JOKES on stage at 8 pm, if you’re in Los Angeles! What are you waiting for? Commit your body and soul by telling Facebook that you’re going!

Even if you don’t come to my show, you still deserve love, and joy, and so forth, and you can get that love and joy from your comment … of the week!

“Bold move for Dick Tracy to start implicating other legacy comic characters of grisly crimes. After this story arc, maybe he should pivot to Jon Arbuckle, and see if we can find out what REALLY happened to Lyman.” –SideshowJon

And your very hilarious runners up!

“Be sure to mention that sweet boombox in your updated Silverdaters profile, Estelle! Unless you think it’s a gold digger magnet, that is.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“That’s right, seniors, when you’re ready to get back into the game of love, come to SilverDaters.com, the only dating website that requires your scam payments to be made in easily accessible silver! Don’t be fooled by imitators, like GoldDaters.com, which is filled with gold diggers, or CryptoDaters.com, which makes you pay your love ransom in some weird e-currency! Remember what our spokesman, William Jennings Bryan, always says: ‘You shall not press down upon the brow of horny seniors this crown of crypto; you shall not crucify gullible spinsters upon a cross of gold!’ SilverDaters.com. Where ‘bi’ stands for bimetallism!” –Voshkod

“There’s definitely something afoot here. Birds don’t have sweat glands. Did this imposter kill the real candle shop owner and stuff her corpse into the AC unit? Will Slylock be able to mentally move past the factoids about the melting point of wax and principles of thermodynamics in time to bring this murderer to justice? Can’t wait to see how this one turns out!” –jroggs

“If only we’d made the walls pitch black to match the carpets!” –Rosstifer

“It’s not particularly rebellious if no one is trying to stop you from doing it.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

“But really, the fact that I looked at the picture without reading the text and thought ‘shady shrew’ tells me that Slylock is going to be useless at anything that doesn’t involve fixing blame. Maybe she should have called someone with STEM skills, like Count Weirdly?” –Richardf8

“I have no idea what Pam & Jeff’s son’s name is, but I’m hoping that it’s ‘Bob,’ because having a couple in which both partners have palindromic names would be adorable (until they get cancer).” –Pozzo

“I realize that public-private partnerships are all the rage, but I still think it’s pathetic that the D.A. has to share his sumptuous office space with a chai bar and a banking branch of a Catholic militia group.” –Peanut Gallery

“You might not have guessed it would be better to have the main character named Underwear, but here we are.” –pachoo

“The crossover nobody dared to imagine. Wait, did I write ‘dared to?’ I meant ‘bothered to.’” –GeoGreg

“I wanna talk about that kid who’s got BOTH backpack straps over one shoulder. Absolute legend.” –@TheWillThe, on Twitter

“What’s sad is that Estelle confused an ad for an online travel service on the SilverDaters website as a profile. She calls them twice a day, and when they get sick of explaining her mistake to her, they put her on hold. She’s actually been singing along with Michael McDonald’s cover of ‘Walking in Memphis.’” –pugfuggly

Six Chix is attempting to reboot the infamous ’60s sitcom My Mother, The Cabernet.” –Cotton Candy Beard

“Look, I’m sorry if we seemed a bit elitist, but having us read Animal Farm isn’t going to make us any more accepting of your Furry lifestyle!” –JJ48

“The little miracle here is that Marvin himself is prevented from saying, doing, or thinking anything for two whole panels. He doesn’t even give a knowing look to the audience. I’m gonna call this a win.” –Joe Blevins

“It’ll take more than one colonel to potty train Marvin. It will take a team of elite CIA officers employing a Clockwork Orange scenario. In the end, he’ll be a nearly-functional adult, but will break down and run to the nearest bathroom at the first note of a Beethoven symphony.” –Dread

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon!. And we need to give a big shout-out to our advertisers:

  • Sunday 2am: A weekly webcomic about life, love, happiness, creme-filled snacks (and only occasionally talking animals).

If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!