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Folks, it’s Friday and it’s your FINAL reminder that Conor Lastowka and I will be putting on a special version of the Internet Read Aloud show at SF Sketchfest tomorrow, Saturday, January 18, featuring Bill Corbett of MST3K/Rifftrax, Laser Malena-Webber of the Doubleclicks, standup Natasha Muse, and more!

Tickets are limited so buy some now!

And now … it’s time for your COTW:

“Look, kudos to Dick Tracy. The bad guy said a line that doesn’t actually make any sense (without ice powers), his henchman called him on it, and he admits he’s having trouble coming up with a better one. That sort of thing should happen all the time. Maybe Bruce Wayne can afford to spend twelve hours a day practicing witty repartee, but for everyone else, this would be much more realistic.” –pachoo

Your runners up are also very funny!

“So, whoever is doing art for Mort Walker’s Beetle Bailey these days is pondering what a U.S. Army base is like. ‘Uh … shovels? Maybe a water tower?’” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“Unplanned nap? At MY age? It’s pretty much a REGULAR thing! Unfortunately, that’s the only REGULAR thing about my metabolism these days! Sorry about your COUCH! But the stain isn’t THAT much uglier than that zombieskin GRAY anyway!” –Probably the Real Shrug, But Only Josh and Uncle Lumpy Know for Sure (Well, I suppose I, Shrug, do as well, but — oh NO! What a GIVEAWAY!)

“Iris asks whether there’s a cure, and the doctor replies that ‘your symptoms can improve a great deal.’ What does that mean? Her symptoms are that she’s gaining weight and losing her hair. ‘You’re going to die, but you’ll be thin as a rail, and your hair will really shine!!!’” –seismic-2

“Damn, Zak’s doctor is so dignified that his gray hair has gray streaks.” –TheDiva

“Thanks, Josh, for reminding us that this is Thyroid Awareness Month. Because I wasn’t being aware of my thyroid. Now I am. I can feel it pulsing in my neck, releasing triiodothyronine and thyroxine. Another lump of weak flesh that makes up this all-too frail sack of water and meat that I call myself. I was trying to forget, but now I’m aware.” –Voshkod

“Reading all of that makes me want to tell Mason to shut the fuck up already, so I have no doubt he’ll be able to portray Les.” –nescio

“I’m glad we’re taking a lengthy period to settle down and talk through this nearly-shocking circumstance. The very possibility that an adult woman might have consumed some alcoholic beverages and taken a nap… goodness, my hands just won’t stop shaking! Thank heavens this horror didn’t really happen in this fictional story!” –jroggs

“A backwards baseball cap?! What a fresh look! It’ll go great with other things the young people of our generation have discovered for the first time ever, like videogames, yo-yos, pizza, skateboards, the environment, and music our parents don’t enjoy.” –BigTed

“Oh, my father was fine, but that fine cedar bench … we’ll never get her back.” –pugfuggly

“Quiet! I’m thinking! Specifically, I’m wondering how we’re carrying on this conversation despite all the gunfire taking place inside this enclosed space!” –JJ48

“#oscarsstillprettywhitebutdon’tworrybecauseweaddedablackreplacementwife” –Scratchy Scrotum LXIX

“The prospect of a larger share in the divorce settlement has gotten Cayla’ s attention.” –Foodar

“The eyes are the window to the soul. This salesclerk has no pupils. If you were wondering what kind of person would up-sell a senile old lady into using her heart pill money for organic birdseed, the answer is right there.” –Tonya

“Look out, Tildy! Rex has got his murderin’ — I mean mercy! — I mean corresponding to actuarial tables! — gloves on.” –pastordan

“‘Thereabouts. Yes.‘ Also the answer Rex gives, when asked whether he got his training at Harvard Medical School.” –Just John

Remember, if you want to buy ads on this site and get a shoutout in these metaposts, head on over to my BuySellAds page! If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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Folks, your first COTW of the ’20s coming in a moment, but first: don’t forget that Conor Lastowka and I will be putting on a special version of the Internet Read Aloud show at SF Sketchfest on Saturday, January 18, featuring Bill Corbett of MST3K/Rifftrax, Laser Malena-Webber of the Doubleclicks, standup Natasha Muse, and more!

Tickets are limited so buy some now!

And now, with that out of the way: it’s your long-awaited COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“You can tell he’s a millennial because he’s not wearing a tie with his suit at the restaurant.” –Kevin Keeney, on Facebook

Your runners up are also hilarious!

“Wait, Heloise is the Phantom’s daughter? The lady who gives me hints??” –ratnerstar

“‘But Dad, shouldn’t Khe Pandjang’s remains be returned to the homeland he fought so bravely for, instead of lying forgotten in a vault under the initials of what I assume is a colonialist approximation of his real name?’ ‘LOTS TO SEE LET’S MOVE ON’” –TheDiva

“I don’t know much of anything about raisin’ kids! Now, raisin adults? That’s somethin’ I figgered I could he’p with. Yep, back in the ’80-aughts, when I was a simple ol’ creative director at Foote, Cone & Belding SF, the California Raisin Advisory Board asked for a new commercial. I said make the little nippers sing! True story. Now, who wants some biscuits in hot milk?” –BigTed

“Maybe brain-teasers are just part of the Bildung a member of the animal elite is supposed to master, like poetry-writing for Chinese Mandarins: nice, useless, and signalling status. Slylock earns his living by holding ‘thinking outside the box’ seminars for Silicon Valley types.” –Ettorre

“Considering the glacial pacing of all stories in this strip, just what the hell is Mark’s big hurry? Is he worried about the parking fees he’s racking up at the local airport?” –Guillermo el chiclero

“What’s with the expression on the orange-hatted kid? Close up, I can’t decide if it is more ‘misery’ or ‘junior serial killer.’” –Cloudbuster

“In the background in Dennis the Menace, a child gleefully celebrates the return of the blue orb. Where has it been? What secrets will it whisper? The blue orb has seen things, child, and it knows things. Menacing things.” –Voshkod

“No, no, this is actually refreshing. Whenever Joey notices the fourth wall, he just cries and runs away.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“But if you want to get all analytical and ‘Monday morning quarterback’ about it, the main reason those other expeditions failed is that they didn’t find him.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“I think ‘party members kept questioning the doctor and so were murdered before the expedition could get results’ is being strongly implied as an additional reason.” –pachoo

“For a second there, I thought Vitamin had taken serious liberties with his revival of West Side Story.” –Joe Blevins

“Much like everyone else in this strip, Tildy is not a character and will never be one.” –Noel

“I think the product placement for Ensure really crosses the line.” –Dennis Jimenez

“You will note, Watson, the gray splashes of mud on Miss Fifi’s paws. It is the distinct shade of gray found in the clay soil at Toad Hop and nowhere else in the vicinity. When it comes to soil, there are far more than 50 shades of gray — I have written a monograph on the topic of some small repute. Note also, the splashes are still wet, testifying that she has here directly from there. This means she could not have been in Gnaw Bone at the time of the murder. Now, Miss Fifi, give us your story. It will go better with you if you come clean.” –erdmann

Remember, if you want to buy ads on this site and get a shoutout in these metaposts, head on over to my BuySellAds page! If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

Post Content

Folks, it’s taken me a bit to get up and running this post-holiday week so I’m letting the current COTW stay up there until the 10th. But I am going to engage in the honored Friday tradition of plugging stuff in this metapost:

WANT TO BUY ADS ON THIS SITE? Head on over to my BuySellAds page!

WANT TO NEVER SEE BANNER ADS ON THIS SITE, AND GET COOL COMMENT-EDITING FEATURES? Became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter!

WANT TO JUST GIVE ME MONEY DIRECTLY? Put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon!

WANT TO SEE ME DO LIVE COMEDY IN LOS ANGELES TONIGHT? Come see the Internet Read Aloud at 8 pm (Facebook event here):

WANT TO SEE ME DO LIVE COMEDY IN SAN FRANCISCO IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS? I’ll be putting on a special version of the show at SF Sketchfest on Saturday, January 18, co-hosted by Conor Lastowka, and featuring Bill Corbett of MST3K/Rifftrax and Laser Malena-Webber of the Doubleclicks, among others!

Tickets are limited so buy some now!