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Metapost: Comment … of the week

Ugh, not much funny stuff in me right now for obvious reasons. Still, I hope the top comments from this silly and supportive community can make people feel a little better tonight. The top comment!

“While other papers may use the word ‘obituaries,’ the Plugger Gazette knows that is readers have no time or patience for such highfalutin’, college-boy nonsense. Besides, the more concise ‘OBITS’ allows them to print the page header in a bigger font, because if there’s one thing pluggers like better than contemplating their own mortality, it’s large type.” –wonkeythemonkey

And your runners up! Very funny!

“Can we prove with absolute certainty that Margo’s arm is actually attached to her body in panel two and is not a dummy arm she’s carrying around and wiggling in Evan’s face?” –sporknpork

“I read today’s Hi & Lois three times before I realized that Dawg doesn’t want the daily newspaper to stop publishing because he wants to fetch it. Dawg’s need for exercise notwithstanding, this strip’s unmistakable doggist-oppressive attitude is why the printed daily newspaper is in trouble today.” –Comcis Fan

“I’ll bet that pier smells strongly of Old Spice and rough trade.” –Ned Ryerson

Bow-tie with plaid jacket, heavy rimmed glasses, green pastel frock and fake pearls, dressing their kid like Mr Pink to go eat somewhere with mismatched thrift-store tableware. Are the Mitchells … hipsters?” –Fats Pinto

“Someday Gunther will be mildly interesting for three weeks on Project Runway.” –Little Blue Bicycle

“I like how this storyline has spent approximately 30 seconds on Rex begrudgingly saving the life of an old woman and hours upon hours of June in her bathing suit hanging out with a trio of strippers. The artist knows my tastes! Here’s hoping June’s hitherto-unpictured scandalous bathing suit makes an appearance at some sort of cancer fund charity strip-off. That’s how people pay for cancer treatments, right? Stripper avalanches?” –Dr. P and the Women

“When you think of evil comic strip characters, the Wizard of Id is the first that comes to mind. Whose moments of quiet reflection are not disturbed by the memory of that time the Wizard responded unenthusiastically to something his wife said?” –Spunde

Didn’t I tell you, Margo? Marvin and I have joined the Wizard in rejecting the Triune godhead.” –Pozzo

“I’m actually more impressed with Margo’s dismissive ‘I should have guessed, Tommie.’ Yes, Tommie, it’s a given that you’re a simp who will sub for the nurses so that they can see their family and friends on holidays, as you have neither. I only extended the invitation to you as a courtesy, which is now balanced by my overtly rude remark about what I really think of you. Now, Lu Ann, the key to a great party is to have a blonde chick drunk and dancing by herself waaay too early in the evening. I have only one question: Do you have what it takes??” –hogenmogen

Two clean-cut white people in white shirts in a sterile tiled kitchen bereft of any signs of actual food. In a thousand years, when the Smithsonian does an exhibit on life in the 21st century, this is going to be the diorama they use for ‘American WASP.’” –pugfuggly

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41 responses to “Metapost: Comment … of the week”

  1. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 14th, 2012 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    Smirky – And when Crazy’s done cataloging his former books and stuff, John can have him dig a hole and fill it in! Or he could just jump in.

    Herb – Nothing like a dependable supply of ketchup packets you can reliably reach into and use over and over for any occasion, like, oh, I dunno… like already published comic strips you can use and re-use to get over those times when you don’t have any new ideas.

  2. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 14th, 2012 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    Congratulations to all float riders! It’s been a hectic week for me, belatedly reading long bunches of comments late in the day. Even so, I do believe some of these popped out at me the first time around.

  3. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 14th, 2012 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers shamble in slightly straighter lines than zombies. Zombies seek brains and often have gaping wounds or are missing body parts. You should now be able to amaze your friends by unerringly telling the difference between pluggers and zombies.

    Popeye – Guns and babies. Great timing, long-dead Bud Sagendorf.

  4. Voshkod
    December 14th, 2012 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    Needed a chuckle. Got a chuckle. Thanks Josh and all the commenters.

  5. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 14th, 2012 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#y190): [Oh, and the quote is by Marcel Proust, of course.]
    Elder or younger?
    Marcel “Hot Lips” Proust, sax blower for Le hot Five. He’s timeless.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#y193): If you like that scene, you either already do or must someday enjoy the scene near the end of LEMONADE JOE where almost everybody in the cast kills almost everybody else. The corkscrew stabbing is the topper.

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#y205): How do you even tell where a signer of an online petition lives?
    In this case, it’s included with many (but not all) of the names.

    @Doc Handsome (#50): I probably should’ve capitalized “plugger” there, to clarify the context.
    Lower case is correct, according to the strip.

    @bats :[ (#62): …xkcd (or whatever the hell it is) is preventing me from copying today’s strip.
    There are ways to copy things. “Show source” will often have the link to the graphic buried in it. When all else fails, screen shot.

  6. Zerowolf
    December 14th, 2012 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    Congratulations for a week well snarked.

  7. Zerowolf
    December 14th, 2012 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

    @Cetacean Love Buzz (#Y5): “MW: “Tours of duty”? Christ, she’s not about to flashback to Tet ’68 is she?”

    At her age, I expect a flashback to how she was advising Eisenhower on the eve of D-Day.

  8. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    December 14th, 2012 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    Congrats, all y’all. Better than booze.

  9. Zerowolf
    December 14th, 2012 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft “…washing their sheep…”
    Boy #1: “Santa, why were they washing their sheep?”
    Crankshaft: “You ever try fucking a dirty sheep?”

  10. Weaselboy
    December 14th, 2012 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    Congrats to wonkeythemonkey and all float-riders. Good stuff this week.

  11. K. Ivan Ruppert
    December 14th, 2012 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    The Mitchells aren’t hipsters. They’re swingers. Thirty minutes after they put Dennis to bed, that waiter’s going to come over and… Well, let’s just say Henry’s going to put his new camera to use.

  12. Jamus The Bartender
    December 14th, 2012 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

    I hear ya Josh.

    Mary Worth: “Friendship is one of the strongest weapons we have against despair. In our lives, our tours of duty, we use what we can to fight sorrow, and hopefully, that’s enough.”

    I never thought i’d say this, but…..well said, Mary. Thank you.

  13. Dartpaw86
    December 14th, 2012 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

    Thank you, we all needed a bit of cheering up.
    These comments were awesome.

  14. Ned Ryerson
    December 14th, 2012 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

    Those were so funny, I busted a nut.
    Albert Camus

  15. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 14th, 2012 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#7): under her maiden name of Kay Summersby?

  16. Poteet
    December 14th, 2012 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    Thank you, wonkeythemonkey and the cleverly-snarking runners up. A good list of funny.

  17. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 14th, 2012 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    Muchos kudos to the folks on the float. Good stuff to read and re-read, as the case may be.

  18. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 14th, 2012 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#7): “So many times we are tempted to put up walls, and yet only by being open to others can we ensure that life has…”
    “Ah, that’s great, Mary. By the way, General MacArthur has something he needs to discuss with you. He says it’s urgent.”

  19. Esther Blodgett
    December 14th, 2012 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

    Those with kids, I hope you’re hugging them a little tighter tonight. Those without kids, I’ll be happy to hug mine extra on your behalf.

    Laughter is the best medicine. Little Blue Bicycle’s Gunther comment made me laugh out loud. Thanks. :)

  20. Sequitur
    December 14th, 2012 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

    As a present to wonkeythemonkey and all the fine float folk, I give you dinosaurs and Tarzan!

  21. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 14th, 2012 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

    When my daughter came home from school (she’s 10), I tried to hug her, and she squirmed away. Oh well! At least she wants me to come in and say nighty-night at the end of each day.

    Also, tomorrow’s my birthday, and she wrapped the present she (and Cathy) got for me and showed it to me in the wrapping. To torment me, I guess. Tomorrow, the suspense will be over. Also, I’ll be 56.

    And I’ve checked. There’s no way to give up the being 56 part by allowing the torment to continue, so I’m going through with it. When I return, I’ll be [Older Man] Muffaroo!

  22. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 14th, 2012 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#21): (And it’s kind of a neat birthday, because I was born in ’56, and I’ll be 56. You only get one birthday like that, and unlike 12:12 on 12/12/12, I won’t let this one get away from me.)

  23. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 14th, 2012 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#5):someday enjoy the scene near the end of LEMONADE JOE

    Thanks for the tip. Per wiki, and IMDB, it sounds like a real hoot. The Czech movie industry used to be quite amazing, even in the darkest days of the Cold War. I remember the Czech exhibit at the Expo 67 world’s fair, in Montreal. They had a huge IMAX style screen and showed cartoons such as I had never imagined. I was eleven; it was mind blowing.

    // Wiki reminds me that the Czechoslovakia pavillion was the 5th most popular attraction of the 90 nations exhibiting, after the USSR, Canada, USA, and France. And it was all about film.

  24. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 14th, 2012 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#22): Now that is just weird. I too was born in 1956, and I’m absolutely sure I’m only in my extremely late thirties.

    // You must not be living right.

  25. Sequitur
    December 14th, 2012 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#22): Happy birthday, Muff. May you enjoy many more. Too bad you weren’t born on May 6th.

  26. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 14th, 2012 at 11:39 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#24): Oh, you must be using decimal! Switch to hex, you’ll only be 38!

  27. Dennis Jimenez
    December 14th, 2012 at 11:54 pm [Reply]

    FC – 12/14 – Um, my Dollyism would be something like, “The tree is like daddy – it will be happier once it’s donned its gay apparel – you know, like that black laced bra and panty set.”

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  28. Sequitur
    December 15th, 2012 at 12:01 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#26): Hey, I like hex. That makes me 3D.

  29. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 15th, 2012 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#28): I remember back when I was 2D. I was so shallow then!

  30. Droopy Says
    December 15th, 2012 at 12:25 am [Reply]

    Congratulations to all the floaters!
    Spiderdick: If each chimp has a specialty, and Moe’s specialty is “stealing tiaras from heavily guarded yet oddly vulnerable museums,” what is the specialty of the other chimps? Is there a big market for “breaking into suburban homes and stealing items of little value?”

    Flunky Flinky Flabby: You didn’t expect to be paid for working, Crazy? You were going to piss away your time in the crap store while moaning about your poverty and not looking for a source of income? Oh, right, Crazy planned to sell his comic book collection every week, because, you know, crazy.

    Mock Trail: Can we get to the part where Editor Bill Ellis shows up and decides whether or not Trail’s travails would make a good story?

    Phantom: ” . . . and if it works out here, I’ll try it on my wife!”

    Pluggers: There’s no thanks expressed to a contributor, so I’m guessing Brookins thought up this idiotic question all by himself. Brookins, we non-Pluggers use something called wrapping paper, because one of the gifts we give is “don’t smear newspaper ink all over your carpets and hands on Christmas morning.”

  31. Sequitur
    December 15th, 2012 at 12:36 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#30): Spiderdick: The other chimps fling poo. It makes a great distraction for Moe to do his job.

  32. seismic-2
    December 15th, 2012 at 1:26 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#31): And there are 999,997 more chimps that we haven’t seen, because they’re in front of their typewriters writing this damn story.

  33. sporknpork
    December 15th, 2012 at 1:32 am [Reply]

    Congrats, floaters! Very funny. It’s good to be able to laugh right now.

  34. Sequitur
    December 15th, 2012 at 1:32 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#32): Amen to that. Welcome to the Million Chimp March.

  35. Droopy Says
    December 15th, 2012 at 1:34 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#32): No, that’s obviously not the case. Even one random chimp could do better than this. The output of 999,997 chimps would look like Shakespeare compared to this crap.

  36. Droopy Says
    December 15th, 2012 at 1:35 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#31): I think you’ve just explained the artwork.

  37. Doctor Handsome
    December 15th, 2012 at 5:14 am [Reply]

    Big Laffs from top to bottom!
    Extra big ups to Fats Pinto.
    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#5): I meant that capitalization would’ve clarified the context because the exact phrase I used was “asshole plugger.” You can see how that might be misconstrued.

  38. these go to 11
    December 15th, 2012 at 7:00 am [Reply]

  39. FOOBed no more
    December 15th, 2012 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#21): Happy Birthday, Muffaroo!

  40. greghousesgf
    December 15th, 2012 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#9): Dirty deeds and they’re done with sheep!

  41. Will
    December 15th, 2012 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    My hometown paper uses “Obits” in the website header. But I don’t think it carries “Pluggers,” so go figure. It annoys me because they have room to spell “obituaries” and look halfway professional.

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