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Love is in the air (yawn)

Apartment 3-G, 5/13/05

As a long-time New York Mets fan and registered Democrat, I love lost causes. Thus, every time Apartment 3-G wraps up another exciting adventure, I keep rooting for the next one to feature Tommie. There’s all sorts of wacky plotlines just waiting in her mysterious, off-cameral life, I just know it! Maybe they could revolve around medical issues she encounters on her job — like the millions of Americans who lack health insurance! There’s something that nobody has the guts to tackle in the funny pages.

Instead, though, it looks like we’re going to have to sit through eight and a half boring weeks of a boring boring storyline about Lu Ann’s boring boring boring love life, which, as you may have guessed, I don’t find very interesting. My hopes were briefly raised this week that we’d at least get to see that saintly art teacher fired and reduced to eating cat food and turning tricks down at Port Authority in order to keep making her rent, but alas, there’s only sweet, chaste, Apartment 3-G-style romance in the cards for her. As an example of why Lu Ann’s romance storylines are so dull, we need only take a good look at the “gorgeous” object of her lustful rumination: he’s just some guy who looks like every other dark-haired, suit-wearing, 1950s-white-collar-job-holding male character who’s wandered in and out of this strip (and they are legion).

I do admit that I’m intrigued by the no-color view through the window of Dr. Fielding’s office, though. Is that pane of glass really a one-way mirror that the lusty headmistress uses to spy on choice morsels who come into the outer office and do nonspecific but plausible-looking things with pieces of paper? Too bad Lu Ann is such a goody-goody with a terror of authority figures; the two of them could bond by engaging in construction-worker-like catcalls together. “I’d like to service his project — and not for our school, either!”

A word of Lu Ann-management advice for her future paramour: if you really want to get her all hot and bothered, just don’t fire her! As we saw yesterday, it’s apparently the equivalent of giving her an enormous amount of Ecstasy.

108 responses to “Love is in the air (yawn)”

  1. Anne Nonymous
    May 13th, 2005 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    Wow, a new post, Joshy baby! Way to go! Lu Ann broke up with Margo’s ex-boyfriend the FBI agent (I forget his name) some time ago, and I guess she hasn’t been getting any since. Any port in a storm.

  2. yellojkt
    May 13th, 2005 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    First comment today:

    One of the problems with soap operas about people that never age is that they are not allowed long term commitments. The body count on failed romances soon reaches Wilt Chamberlain territory. How long will this one last? It’s not like Luann is going roadside anytime soon. Hot chaste blonde in New York City. I’m sure Mr Just Out Of Teaching College and Living Around The Corner From Avenue Q is dying to hook up with this mess of backstory.

  3. RememberByronFrost
    May 13th, 2005 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    I’ve been searching (my limited brain AND the net) for that movie where people suddenly enter a black and white universe from the past or something (never actually saw it). Anyway, that’s apparently the surreal scene outside of Dr. Fielding’s office.

  4. J.Po
    May 13th, 2005 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    It’s like “Pleasantville” in reverse! Makes your head bob just thinking about it.

  5. Cluck Trent
    May 13th, 2005 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    He looks like he is trapped inside the Phantom Zone. Not only is he in black and white, his perspective is skewed in relationship to LuAnn. He looks as if he is in a painting on the wall, not in a room next to them.

    It is Zi-Kree.

    Run LuAnn, Run.

  6. yellojkt
    May 13th, 2005 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    Or the a-ha video with the villians riding motorcylces on the other side of the mirror.

  7. Islamorada Girl
    May 13th, 2005 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    We don’t see much of Tommie anymore since those “Angel of Death” incidents on her ward a while back. Her ankle bracelet and regular reporting to parole and probation probably prohibit her getting out much anymore.

  8. RememberByronFrost
    May 13th, 2005 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    Thanks JPo! Was driving me bonkers!

  9. Dub Not Dubya
    May 13th, 2005 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    I just have to toot my own horn since I don’t know who’s still reading the neverending thread. Please check out my Milford limerick: . It came to me in a flash of brilliance or cooking wine….

  10. Toddb
    May 13th, 2005 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    You should rename your site to “…

    Just sayin’.

  11. Mark Jackson
    May 13th, 2005 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    “…millions of Americans who lack health insurance! There’s something that nobody has the guts to tackle in the funny pages.”

    Good idea. Can’t imagine why, say, Rex Morgan hasn’t mentioned this recently.

  12. RememberByronFrost
    May 13th, 2005 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    Brilliant Dub, as always!! GREAT JOB!

  13. J.Po
    May 13th, 2005 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    Kudos to Dub…”androgynous Pat” is a classic in content and meter!

  14. Moesy
    May 13th, 2005 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    3 posts in 3 days, watch out, Josh is out to prove us wrong about him. I think he is the defacto Pope of the Kollege. You get my vote, anyway.

  15. fluffytufts
    May 13th, 2005 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    Many, many posts
    Left to wither, lost, unread -
    ‘Splain it to us Josh!

  16. daChipster
    May 13th, 2005 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    Yes, Josh is back in the groove. We should plan a pilgrimage to Baltimore and swear our fealty.

    Curmudgicon, anyone?

  17. Abbey
    May 13th, 2005 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    A Curmudgicon would be cool.

    We could all fly to Baltimore in an AIR EVAC HELICOPTER


  18. RememberByronFrost
    May 13th, 2005 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    Just everyone keep quiet about all the booze we’re bringing, lest Meddleaholic confiscate it for our “own good.”

    Hic !

  19. Meddleaholic Mary
    May 13th, 2005 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    Before I take the booze, remember there are challenges around the corner,

    You better be prepared!

    You have been warned.

  20. J.Po
    May 13th, 2005 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    She’s got her hands full with Momzilla…she wouldn’t think of meddlin’ with a Konklave, do ya think? (We could just buy in Maryland, it’s cheaper there…)

  21. Tim
    May 13th, 2005 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    Wow…she sure loves…ellipses…

  22. RememberByronFrost
    May 13th, 2005 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    Momzilla’s only challenge is to high-tail it outta the ‘bat’ cave with what little dignity her drunken ass still manages to have without knocking pictures off the wall and sending house plants flying.

  23. Thel Keane
    May 13th, 2005 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    To the person posting about this being Josh Reads Apartment 3-G and Mark Trail, I would point out that the only comic shown multiple times on the home page is *gulp* Garfield.

  24. Comment by Charles Schulz’s corpse
    May 13th, 2005 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    You know, I want a Lu Ann/Luann crossover. I want the cast of Apartment 3-G to stare uncomfortably at Delta, having never seen a non-white person in their lives. I want the uber-fertile Dr. Brian to impregnate Bernice, and possibly Gunther. I want Tommie to say and do absolutely nothing. I want a megalomaniacal, super-villainous catfight between Tiffany and Margo. Give me my evil catfights, damn it!

  25. J.Po
    May 13th, 2005 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    RBF, you forget the key element of Meddlin’ Mary’s Master Plan — Momzilla doesn’t have a car there! So there’s no high-tailing in HER future…she’s completely at MW’s mercy…mwahaahaa!

    Stumble to higher ground, Rita!

  26. Bill Brasky
    May 13th, 2005 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    it looks like that dude is smelling the paper.

  27. fluffytufts
    May 13th, 2005 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    More evil catfights, mules!

  28. RememberByronFrost
    May 13th, 2005 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    While you’re stumbling Zilla, watch out for Meddlin’s precious Hummels! Word on the street is, she has no renter’s insurance!

  29. Wren Wah
    May 13th, 2005 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    Are people in the 3G universe particularly prone to narcolepsy or does the “artist” specialize in capturing people in mid-blink. Both the headmistress in panel 1 and mysterious (not so) hunky guy in panel 3 have their eyes closed. WTF?

  30. yellojkt
    May 13th, 2005 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    Since the beginning of the year:

    Apartment 3G – 15 clips
    Mary Worth – 13
    Rex Morgan, MD -12
    Mark Trail and FBoFW – 11 each
    Gil Thorp – 8
    Luann and BC – 5 each

    In all, 36 different strips. That seems like a pretty thorough job. Quality seems to keep Josh away. Boondocks and Pearls Before Swine merit 1 each and no cuts at Doonesbury at all.

    The serial strips get undue attention because they are such low hanging fruit for abuse. How many “Gee, the wife in the Lockhorns wrecked the car again. Not very funny.” comments can you make and still be fresh.

    Gil Thorp gets special mention because it’s not carried in Baltimore or DC and still makes the top 10 most abused strips. Josh has to go out of his way to pick on it.

    More snarky commentary, mule.

  31. J.Po
    May 13th, 2005 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    Josh did note “Love is in the air (yawn).” Either everyone in the strip has narcolepsy or they’re simply as bored with the storylines as we are!

    More low hanging fruit, mule!

  32. Anne Nonymous
    May 13th, 2005 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    yellojkt, I am awed by your superior time-wasting ability! I can’t believe you went back and counted! We must bow to the new Master of Minutiae. Speaking of Josh staying away from “quality,” you mentioned Pearls Before Swine. I do generally like Pastis’ skewed outlook, but I think he’s beaten the next-door-neighbor-stupid-crocodiles-trying-to eat-the-zebra theme past death, past rigor mortis, and into absolutely disgusting rotting-corpse-with-maggots.

  33. Irina
    May 13th, 2005 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    In terms of Lu Ann’s boring love life … I seem to recall maybe 2 years ago (yes, I’m that lame, I’ve been reading 3-G for years) that Lu Ann had a serious run-in with a creepy slimey sexual harrasser.

    Wasn’t exactly romance (or was it?) but it certainly made for some interesting reading in an otherwise placid strip. Only complaint is that the plot traveled along at pretty well regular A3G speed.

    Anyone else remember this?

  34. Incident
    May 13th, 2005 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    How the hell does Luann know that she’s going to be working with that guy, anyway? For all she knows, he’s some sort of isolation experiment. Or he’s in quarantine.

    As for his closed eyes, it looks to me as if he’s really, REALLY enjoying himself. “Mmmmm… I love the smell of office paper in the morning. Smells like… a horny blonde on the other side of the window.”

  35. J.Po
    May 13th, 2005 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    Couldn’t agree more, Anne…whenever I see the crocs, I avert my eyes quickly, much as I do now when I get to “Cathy.” (Death to Cathy.) Never was funny to begin with and is now painfully not so.

    Hey, almost cocktail hour here on the East Coast…give my regards to Jack! Let’s toast yellojkt, Kardinal of Minutiae!

  36. Bookworm
    May 13th, 2005 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    Charles Shultz’s Corpse:

    Dr. Brian is from Mary Worth, so that would have to be a Luann/A3G/MW cross. Imagine those possibilities – not only does Dr. Brian get Bernice preggers, but Meddlin’ Mary gets to form a new triangle with Ms Phelps and Mr Fogarty. Momzilla would spike the punch at the Spring Dance (if the kids hadn’t already, Tiff looks pretty happy today). Lu Ann from A3G could get “creative” with Zane, while Tiff and Margo have their catfight. Tommie, of course, simply observes from the side.

  37. luluchappel
    May 13th, 2005 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    I would so love to see a Tiffany/Margo catfight. Bet Tiffany plays dirty & whips out her hairbrush & takes Margo out with the third whack.

  38. Wren Wah
    May 13th, 2005 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    No way! Margo is much to experienced. Not only wouldn’t poor little Tiff have a chance, she’d probably wind up sold off into slavery making sweat shirts. Do I have to say it?

    More Zippers, Tiff-Mule!!!

  39. Incident
    May 13th, 2005 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    Maybe Aaron Hill and Tommie have been carrying on an illicit affair, all this time. We certainly have no evidence to the contrary.

  40. Islamorada Girl
    May 13th, 2005 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    The new guy in Luann’s life is none other than Principal Seymour Skinner and he’s getting high by sniffing mimeograph ink! If he turns up in an electric blue suit with a pink tie, RUN FOR THE HILLS!

    And I do so love the comix xover. Especially Tiff and Margo battling to the death in LOST
    FOREST, where a moose watches them, thinking
    “what th’?”

    As much as Mark Trail seems to dislike women,
    this could be a funtime action adventure!

  41. Monkeys Uncle
    May 13th, 2005 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    Holy comic crossovers Batman!

    How about Margo and Mary in a three round jello pit match?

    Battle of the Meddiln M’s

    Of course like all jello wrastlin it should eventually morph in to a sloppy lesbian free for all with Lu Ann, Tommie, Faye, and June all pulled in to the pit to get down and dirty.

    More girl on girl meddelin mule!

  42. Islamorada Girl
    May 13th, 2005 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    Best reason for Ces to send Ted and Sally to Paris: sly reaction shots to
    Astrix et Tin Tin!

  43. Peaches
    May 13th, 2005 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    How about Buck in some of those hot leather pants and his cowbody hat?

    Whippee! I’m the midnight cowboy!


  44. Monkeys Uncle
    May 13th, 2005 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    My attorney advises me to apologize for that previous post. It may have offended some of the more sensitive readers.

    I sincerely apologize. I should have said “geletain desert” and not “jello”

    less litigation mule!

  45. Islamorada Girl
    May 13th, 2005 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    The monkey says he wants to see Mary Worth in full dominatrix gear with a five inch spike heeled boot on the back of Dr. Jeff’s neck.

    Death to Gil Thorp, folks. Especially since Rap Dog got kicked to the curb. Poor kid. All that heartbreak and he has to live in Milford, too!
    If GT tells him to suck it up like a man, there will be serious consequences!

  46. Islamorada Girl
    May 13th, 2005 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    It’s Jell-O. You’re safe from Judge Judy. For now.

  47. Monkeys Uncle
    May 13th, 2005 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    Lets just see Sally maintain that healthy smirk when shes crammed in to a crowded car on the metro at rush hour. Thats when differences in hygine philosophy really hit home.

  48. Bookworm
    May 13th, 2005 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

  49. Comment by Charles Schulz’s corpse
    May 13th, 2005 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    Yes, based on that picture, I can how it all plays out now. Tiffany grabs Margo’s bosom in a fiendish (and hot) attempt to disable her opponent with a quick nipple twist, but wait! It’s not Margo at all, but a look-alike Bobble-Head — and it’s primed to explode with the next three weeks! This may not seem like much, but by Apartment 3-G standards, that’s seconds.

  50. Peaches
    May 13th, 2005 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    I want to see Mary Worth in black leather gear a la Edie Massey in Female Trouble!

    Rhino does run 30 mph! I hitched him to a rickshaw and he runs me all over the place doing my errands in a snap and saving big bucks on gas! And who knew he was a handy guy who could do basic wiring and plumbing and carpentry? And he cooks and cleans! Yes, he’s a trophy himbo, that Rhino and he’s all mine!

    Maybe we ought to take that weekend in Cancun we’ve been talking about. Looks like Gloria in Judge Parker could use a guy who knows how to pirate cable. All she’s got is a rabbit ear antenna!

  51. RememberByronFrost
    May 13th, 2005 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    Hey Irina, re: post # 33, I got you beat! I even remember when Luann from A3G got married! (about 30 years ago?? yeh, she’s that old! I was only 5 btw) and his Grand-dad was a USN (retired) Admiral worth millions! Her hub got killed in a plane crash or something… but yeh, the so-called chaste blond of NYC is not as dumb (or young) as she looks.

    More Vitamin E and Botox Mule!

  52. Islamorada Girl
    May 13th, 2005 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    Maybe Rap Dog Brent is striking out because he spent all his benjamins on Axe Body Spray for Men. That stuff smells like Le Metro de Paris on a Saturday night, and that is not a good thing.

  53. RememberByronFrost
    May 13th, 2005 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    OMG Peaches, you are TOO GOOD! You deserve to wear the crown, possibly two weeks running !!

  54. RememberByronFrost
    May 13th, 2005 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    Hmmmmmm, and how exactly would you know that IG?

  55. J.Po
    May 13th, 2005 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    Peaches – we are all so happy about you and the Rhino. How enviable!

  56. RememberByronFrost
    May 13th, 2005 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

    I know: Garfield: BAD DATE
    The guy smelled to holy hell and the entire fancy French restaurant cleared out!
    But dammit to hell, my damned date STILL ordered me a tennis-shoe Alpo Casserole,,,,

    and the waiter actually brought it (haughty-taughty as he was) and I shoved
    the whole plate up his……

  57. Islamorada Girl
    May 13th, 2005 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

    RBF–Have you smelled that stuff? It makes Brut smell good. And every 8th grader in the western world is wearing a mushroom cloud of the stuff in hopes of getting some roadside. It’s more likely to attract mosquitoes than girls.

    Oh, I been to Paris, she added darkly. Those “chic” Frenchwomen don’t believe in dipilatories or soap.

  58. J.Po
    May 13th, 2005 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

    …special place which he had sprayed with Axe prior to the date. Then he offered me a “coq” au vin…I suggested that maybe he should ask Rita Begler and the Queen of Heavy Meddle out for a menage a trois…

  59. RememberByronFrost
    May 13th, 2005 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

    Hear ya re: the no-soap thing……

    You all got any clothes-pins here?, svp

  60. Rex 'n June
    May 13th, 2005 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

    Yes we had recently befriended a young, handsome pus-encrusted vagrant who is (sadly) now in a coma…

    So Plan B: we have befriended a somewhat toothless fencing contractor who wears a god-awful cap, who has much to offer it seems (for a price)

    We would love to join you…

  61. J.Po
    May 13th, 2005 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    I was so disappointed that someone went beyond 666 on the lower post…until I saw Isla’s response. Would have been a horrible waste of Ketel One on the screen, had it not been LOL funny…!

  62. Bookworm
    May 13th, 2005 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    RBF, according to King Features, LuAnn’s husband was an Air Force pilot who was shot down.

  63. The Rhino
    May 13th, 2005 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

    Hey, gosh darn it, peaches, you weren’t supposed to reveal my, ahem — “nice side.”

    Time to kick some spiderbutt.

  64. Lor
    May 13th, 2005 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

    Was this not the funniest MW ever?

    “Yes, keep your sense of humor, because although YOUR DAUGHTER JUST DIED, leaving you ALL ALONE in your crappy little SHACK WITH BLACK WALLS AND PINK CURTAINS and you’re COMPLETELY HELPLESS NOW, never having learned to DO ANYTHING FOR YOURSELF … your life could BECOME MUCH, MUCH WORSE! SOON!”

  65. gershwin
    May 13th, 2005 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    Hey, remember when Margo was really attractive?

  66. Islamorada Girl
    May 13th, 2005 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    In the black room
    With pink curtains
    At the station

    I wait in this place
    Where the sun never shines. . .

    Thanks. I had to get that out of my head.

  67. Peaches
    May 13th, 2005 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

    Sometimes I think Rhino loves Spiderman more than he loves me. You want that green card, honey? Come back to Peaches! Putin’s on the phone and he’s not a happy comrade!

  68. Anne Nonymous
    May 13th, 2005 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

    Y’all who kept commenting in the thread down below, past “666,” you know you’re all going to Hell, don’t you?

  69. Kardinal J. Po
    May 13th, 2005 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

    And there’s NO Jack Daniels in Hell.

  70. Country Boy
    May 13th, 2005 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    There ain’t no Charlie Daniels in Hell either.

  71. O'Really
    May 13th, 2005 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    There once was a tot name of Sarah
    who didn’t like to share(ah)
    She got jealous of Buck
    hit his head with the truck
    and left him for the litter bearahs.

  72. Anne Nonymous
    May 13th, 2005 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    Oooh, O’Really, are you suggesting that the little tot Sarah beat the sh** out of Pus-Boy? I don’t blame her- her parents have been so obsessed with him, they have totally ignored her for weeks. You go, Sarah!

  73. The Rhino
    May 13th, 2005 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    No go, peachy baby. I saw you flirting with Satan – “men with horns” indeed! Putin’s just sore ‘cos I broke his heart, too.

    Spidey lets me get my aggression out — and we rhinos have a lot to be irritable about.

  74. Lor
    May 13th, 2005 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

    Yeah, is anyone even pretending to look after Sarah anymore??

    Mike and Dee’s brats may be irritating, but by golly they aren’t unsupervised.

  75. Anonymous
    May 13th, 2005 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

    Just because Luann is a widow, doesn’t means she’s not a virgin. No one in the comics has sex. Note even Mike Patterson who has two kids. Especially not Mike.

  76. Incident
    May 13th, 2005 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

    Anonymous, have you forgotten Dr. and Mrs. Good’s baby-making boink?

    If you have, PLEASE TELL ME HOW. I BEG YOU.

  77. Flasshe
    May 13th, 2005 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

    Man, you cannot afford to be absent from this board for more than half a day, since the comments really pile up and there’s a lot to catch up on. I think I’m sympathizing with our Pope. Luckily, it’s all hilarious and makes for a good read. More entertaining depravity, mules!

    Thanks IG, I now can’t get the variant-Cream song out of my head.

    The A3G thing intrigues me. Lu Ann: “What’s going with me? Gays don’t usually distract me, even when they’re gorgeous.” This could be the storyline that finally brings the strip into the 21st century. Lu Ann’s unrequited love for the homosexual-male-under-glass may be the story arc that nets A3G the Reuben it so richly deserves.

  78. Flasshe
    May 14th, 2005 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    Death to Gil Thorp! Death to Gil Thorp!

    The Houston Chronicle page just switched over. “Just chillin’ with the peeps, Brah!” Aaaaargh! At least I’m pretty sure Delaney Bebow is female, since there’s a smudge on her shirt.

    The Meddlin’ One and Momzilla are still eating, in their matching pink outfits. Just waiting for Mary to roll out the Baked Alaska.

  79. Abbey
    May 14th, 2005 at 12:10 am [Reply]

    Mmmm, Reubens. Gotta love that corned beef ‘n sauerkraut. Reubens with Cream – even better.


  80. Abbey
    May 14th, 2005 at 12:11 am [Reply]

    Baked Alaska! BARK!

  81. Lor
    May 14th, 2005 at 12:16 am [Reply]

    Wow, our Buck has any number of more-or-less nubile females concerned about him. I’m impressed. For someone with no job, no home, an incomplete education, a pus-filled hand and (all together now) NO HEALTH INSURANCE, he’s quite the chick magnet. Must be that scruffy, just-needs-the-love-of-a-good-woman look.

  82. PizzaBagel
    May 14th, 2005 at 12:19 am [Reply]

    “How long have you been widowed, Mary?”

    “Quite a number of years – even longer in comic-strip time! But enough about me and my vague response to you. Tell me all about your dead husband whose void your peapodmate daughter apparently filled quite enviably. More coq au rotgut?”

  83. Flasshe
    May 14th, 2005 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    Bad sandwich pun, Abbey! Bad girl! Back to your AIR EVAC HELICOPTER! Now! Go help Mark Trail find Paris Hilton’s Cubic Zirconium-studded dog collar.

  84. PizzaBagel
    May 14th, 2005 at 12:45 am [Reply]

    Large fauna alert in today’s Mark Trail: Big black bear approaching from stage right in panel two. Or could that be the Rhino padding towards Mike’s cabin on all fours? How’d he remove his horn? (“Vhat’s thees? A $750,000 diamond-encrusted dog collar! Tres chic!”) Run to higher ground at 30 mph, Werner Klemperer!

  85. Dub Not Dubya
    May 14th, 2005 at 12:54 am [Reply]

    Also in Saturday’s Mark Trail, Mike has had hip replacement surgery, autographed by his surgeon….Jack Elrod!

  86. daChipster
    May 14th, 2005 at 1:36 am [Reply]

    Saturday’s A3G: I *TOLD* you she had A.D.D. (A2D?)

    No, wait – false alarm. She’s just blonde.

  87. daChipster
    May 14th, 2005 at 1:41 am [Reply]

    MT: Dr. Hamilton on what happened to Buck: “He got STUPID!”

    (Finally, truth in comics.)

    “I’ll be gone for a few hours. And if the Eighties calls, tell them I’m getting their Don Johnson haircut and stubble look back from Buck for them.”

  88. daChipster
    May 14th, 2005 at 1:51 am [Reply]

    FBoFW: The Thumpers on two have a name: Mr. & Mrs. Melville Kelpfroth

    I’m so blown away by that name that I’m at a complete loss for something funny to say. I think there’s a Moby Dick reference in there somewhere.

    So I’ll just go sleep on it.

    Oh, and Lovey’s last name is (news to me) Saltzman. I wonder if she has trouble getting a reservation or ordering seltzer in a Mexican restaurant. “Order of salsa for the table for salsa-men”

  89. Islamorada Girl
    May 14th, 2005 at 5:25 am [Reply]

    Ah, heaven for the climate, but hell for the company!

    Come on, post #667 was just begging for that crack! It was just lying in the street, waiting to be run over!

  90. TwoClubs
    May 14th, 2005 at 7:51 am [Reply]

    “Saturday’s A3G: I *TOLD* you she had A.D.D. (A2D?) No, wait – false alarm. She’s just blonde.”

    ——-AND HORNY

  91. TwoClubs
    May 14th, 2005 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    OK, it’s clear now that Dr. Hamilton is a crime boss and his minions clipped the wrong guy.

  92. TwoClubs
    May 14th, 2005 at 7:56 am [Reply]

    I meant “RMMD” above^^^

  93. TwoClubs
    May 14th, 2005 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    Question about Mary Worth. Mary is a widow. What is Rita??? She’s alone, but is she a widow? She doesn’t appear to have a husband. Did he leave her? DUH!!!!!!!

  94. daChipster
    May 14th, 2005 at 8:15 am [Reply]

    2 Clubs: ——-AND HORNY

    Nowwww 2C: I said she was blonde, didn’t I. Whatchew wanna go and get all redundant on me for?

  95. lyndon
    May 14th, 2005 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Once again I must turn to the internet to find reasoning in BC.

    That blasted wingless bird is on the prowl again. This time to let a fish make a lame non-joke. Sometimes I wonder if that man is truly going for some post-modern non-humor. Hopefully not.

    But back on topic of that bird. Why does the writer use him so often? Most likely it’s because he brings his own introduction line into every strip he’s in. That’s one frame down automatically, which means more golf! (the chosen hobby of all comic strip writers apparently)
    They have a chart and it goes like this

    Three frame comic with good joke gets you driving range time.
    Three frame comic with non-joke gets you 9 holes of golf.
    Two frame comic will get you 18 holes of golf.
    And the rare but possible one framer gets you 18 holes and time to hit the bar! (explaining Bil Keane’s problems)

    Now every time you see a two frame, one-liner BC or wizard of id comic, you’ll know why.

  96. Islamorada Girl
    May 14th, 2005 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    If we really wanted to use our powers for good, not evil, we’d all write to our local papers carrying BC and tell them how profoundly offensive we find Johnny Hart’s bigotry.

    And death to you know who.

  97. Sourbelly
    May 14th, 2005 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    Need a little help w/ Saturday’s FBoFW and Moira’s Escheresque apartment building. Mrs. Kelpfroth (wtf?)is standing in Moira’s doorway, I think. Then, across the hall, maybe, we hear loud noises. Moira responds by running in the opposite direction. I think. I…I don’t even know how to formulate question regarding all of this. Who lives where? Are Moira and the Pattersons on the same floor? I’m flummoxed. Maybe I’m still reeling from the name Melville Kelpfroth.

    And speaking of names, Mike Patterson ought to change his to Mike Hunt. Grow a pair, would ya!

  98. el st ruby
    May 14th, 2005 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    That wasn’t even a joke in today’s BC! It was a statement! It was a lame conversation at a bad party!

    “I have no wings.” “Oh, I have fins.”
    “Oops, we’re out of panels and there’s no punchline.” “Well, fuck.”

  99. Incident
    May 14th, 2005 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    Ooh-och-ookie! Skunk Girl is back in Rex Morgan and looking hotter than ever! Those sweater puppies need to be taken out for a walk. Or to bark at an air evac helicopter. If you know what I’m saying.

  100. Incident
    May 14th, 2005 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    el st ruby-

    If all BC strips ended in the phrase, “Well, fuck,” it would be funnier and make a lot more sense.

  101. Sourbelly
    May 14th, 2005 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    In #97, I meant Lovey, not Moira. Time for a nap.

  102. daChipster
    May 14th, 2005 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    I’m guessing, if you had chores to do and were trying like hell to avoid them and you wanted to ascribe a POINT to Johnny Hart’s pointless drivel today in order to waste time…

    I say, I’m GUESSING he’s making a statement about evolution.

    Because, evolutionarily, we’re all finless fish, in a manner of speaking.

    And if anyone has any doubt about Hart’s alignment, look at who publishes him: isn’t “Creators Syndicate” just a nicer way of saying “God’s Mob?”

  103. Luban
    May 14th, 2005 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    If Hart doesn’t think our appendages evolved from fish fins, then how did clams get feet?

  104. Neil
    May 14th, 2005 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    This may not be so boring after all. From the looks of that guy, this could be the beginning of a Get Your War On crossover.

    “More mother$@%*ing zippers, mule!”

  105. Islamorada Girl
    May 14th, 2005 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    Since Mary Worth moves at the speed of evolution (neener, neener, Johnny Hart), it will be August before the two Hagzillas finally get to the fruit cup dessert!

    More matronly platitudes, Mule!

  106. RememberByronFrost
    May 14th, 2005 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    Two Hagzillas in a Bat Cave = good name for a rap group.

  107. one wonders
    May 14th, 2005 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

    In terms of Lu Ann’s boring love life … I seem to recall maybe 2 years ago (yes, I’m that lame, I’ve been reading 3-G for years) that Lu Ann had a serious run-in with a creepy slimey sexual harrasser.

    I think that plot ended with Luann living in a closet, finding a connection to the underground railroad, rehabbing the closet, then burning the building down, then the 3-G crew ended up each owning an apt of their own–but none of that changed anything..

  108. steroide bestellen
    September 5th, 2013 at 12:10 am [Reply]

    Oh dear me.. . First off, silly question. Unless you are in a country where steroids are legal then you will be importing an illegal substance.. . Second, do you really expect anyone to just post up a valid answer to this? Do your research, there are better places to ask.. . Third, Deca *only*? Are you gonna be happy having a limp d**k for weeks on end? . . Bottom line is, if you have to ask the question, you are not ready.

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